Once more with the 'sadly I don't own them...' Thanks for the reviews.

Chapter 4

"Jesus fucking Christ, it's a fucking good job no-one's investigating us! How would that look, 'Top investigation unit involved in pirate DVD scandal'." I laughed as Tony's booming laugh joined mine. "Anyway Richard Branson, How have the more in-depth checks gone?"

"Weeellll…..lets see, I got some stuff here." He waved a ream of A4 papers at me, I groaned, it was a huge wad of paper "but you tell me what you think about them as I say their names first"

"Tease" I laughed. "You torment your girl like this Ugly?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He straightened up in his seat, a sign of him being more work like. "Now, come on, lets start with your porter buddies first. Peter Day?"

"Jack the lad, but not a crime lord."

"Well, he's actually applied to become a plod, so he can't be too dodgy. Got a good chance too. Andrew Taylor?"

"Again, Jack the lad, but I wouldn't say he was guilty of anything more serious than shagging as many nurses as he's capable of while he's on duty. Randy beggar!"

"Spot on. Couple of speeding fines … parking fines. Nowt dodgy, though. Now … last on your little shift crew - your wonderful supervisor - John Bennett.' I raised an eyebrow at him, silently encouraging him to hurry up. "Nai … "He glared at me. I glared back. "No … I'm not going to ask what you think of him … cause I can see you've got that twitch in your jaw." I gave him my crooked grin, you know, the one I save for special occasions. He looked a bit freaked by this, so I smiled again. "Well, carrying straight on, he's a bit of a knob really." I raised an eyebrow. "Been married for years, but he's carrying on with some other woman who's got kids by him too"

My eyebrow went up further, "the dirty old bastard! Two fucking families? Jesus, no wonder he's a fucking miserable git"

"Oh, it gets better; he also owes about twenty grand in bad debts." My eyebrow now attempted to go past my hairline. "Really? That fart? Wow, who'd have thought it?"

We spent the next half an hour (and another cup of tea, with biscuits this time) going over the rest of the staff who I'd come into contact with, or should do. As I'd suspected there wasn't anything hugely illegal going on, just the usual shenanigans that went on in work places, even ours as you might notice…

"So, where we going with this then Naoms? Your text messages have been pretty vague. Any feet in any doors?"

I leaned forward in my seat, "I've been pretty vague because there's been fuck all going on. I've learnt all sorts about fat fucking nurses who seem to look down at the rest of the world; I can show you how to take someone to the morgue, but sadly no South American drug barons selling their wares in the main corridor. However, due to my helpful friend Pete, our friendly neighbourhood Mr Big's going to sort out a night out with everyone to help me 'acclimatise' to the workforce." I sat and flung my legs up on my sofa, "The arse thinks he's God's gift to women, calls himself 'Big Jimmy or the Cookie monster', wanker even flirted with me." I lowered my voice "See you soon gorgeous" I said in my best wanker impression (That was my name for him don't forget) rolling my eyes.

Tony laughed, "Oh please tell me you're going to cut him down to size Naoms, kiss a woman he fancies in front of him, that should do it" I gave Tony the 'look'.

"You taking the piss? You haven't got a clue have you? He'd probably think he was in heaven, he'd think he'd pulled both of us. He is that stupid looking, trust me." Actually he was just a bloke, and we all know how they think, and what part of their anatomy they usually think from. I looked at Tony, ok maybe that's a little unfair, not all guys are like that. Effy had kicked her brother into shape after his (and her) wild early years. But you know what I mean, don't you?

"So, I'm going to take this little DVD list into the shithole tomorrow and show I'm trustworthy to them. So hopefully I can get him to open up to me a little" I yawned. "Dunno how long this one will go on. He's not going to have two pints of mild and tell me who he gets his narc off is he?"

"I know" Tony sprawled his arms out across the back of the sofa "But hey, if he owns up to it, we can pull him in and scare the shit out of him and get him to name him" He looked at me, "Is he that bad? You only met him once"

"I know, but he's the kind of fella you'd like to accidentally discharge your gun at"

He gave me a solemn nod of understanding. "Talking of guns, are you taking your piece to this place?"

"Nah, there's no danger that way mate" Tony raised his eyebrows. His version of 'the look' His face went from puce to boiled shite white via several shades of red. His expressions; as he obviously tried to digest the fact I went in unarmed, went from disgusted to pissed off at me via 'what the fuck?' He looked like one of those cuttle fish thingys on a BBC documentary to be honest with you. See why I'm undercover more than him? He was shit at poker too.

I cut him off before he could get up a head of steam. "TONY!" He obediently stopped questioning my parentage. "I can't take a gun in there, I'm a porter, I go to the x-ray place a lot, and they have metal sensitive scanner, donut shaped thingies in there. I got chatting to a girl that works in there and she said they're mega powerful and can attract metal." Tony had actually decided to stop to listen (and breathe, always a good thing breathing) "So, how the fuck would you explain a gun of all things sailing through the air and attaching itself to a scanner?" Tony looked suitably abashed, "So, no gun you dopey twat." I smiled, "Anyway, I'm just as deadly without it, you can only beat me unarmed cause you've been fed mutant lamb as a child"

He laughed, "Well, JJ and I will be out as your back up when you go out gallivanting and being paid for it. The boss would like a taped 'Yeah, I can get loads of drugs' confession if we can manage it. You just need to give us the nod when it's going to happen."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence. I stretched and yawned; Tony shuffled his papers back into his bag.

"Right I'm off mate, so you're on earlies this week and next then. Just keep in touch, and let us know how things are progressing with the night out" He moved his big frame towards my flat door and I stood to escort him out.

"Ok big man, I'll let you know. Keep the boss informed as to what we're doing will ya? I don't want to drop in to the office to often. This place I can explain away, but strolling into Customs might be a little more difficult!"

"Good thinking Batman, well, text or ring me if you need anything. Did you get hold of Effy? She's been driving me fucking mental about you going missing again/"

"Yeah, I saw her today mate, she knows the score, give my love to Yvette will ya?"

Tony gathered me up in a hug again; I swear the guy was more in touch with his feminine side than I was. Or maybe that was his Mrs who'd turned him from husband potential to Mr Sensitive 2010. Scary thing is, Yvey was a full foot shorted than him, and most definitely wore the trousers in their marriage.

"Will do, she wants me to drag you round for dinner after this is all over, so lets get this wrapped up eh Nai?"

I grunted my agreement and let him go on his way.

I glanced at my watch as I shut the door behind the huggy monster, huh, time flies when you're having fun. 6.30p.m already and I had to be in work for 7a.m. Bugger it. I went into my bedroom and changed into some slobby shorts and t-shirt, I popped a work out DVD into the player and started to exercise away some of the tension that Tony's words had unwittingly created.

Jesus, was I the same happy camper from this morning? I knew I wasn't PMS'ing; it was just the stress of being the person who was truly piggy in the middle. I was the one expected to get a result here, and it looked like it was going to either be a long haul job, or more than likely a bust.

We knew that the informant had said that they'd reported the Wanker to his bosses, and that nothing was done. So, this meant that the bosses in that place were either in on it (highly unlikely) or basically thick as pig shit. Now, I'd met his boss who was nicknamed the 'Hobbit' (ever seen Hobbits feet in Lord of the Rings? Go figure.) And I've got to say, she was just thick as pig shit, probably thought the sun, moon and stars shone out of the Wankers arse. She'd probably defend him to the hilt, so we needed a clean arrest and conviction. Problem was, could we get it? Or to be more precise, could I pull it off?

I mulled it over as I stretched my body. I just didn't see how long I could remain undercover doing this job. As I'd discussed with Tony, the Wanker wasn't going to just own up to me. I hated the idea of getting any type of spoken confession, especially in a night out set up. Wires were notoriously difficult in busy settings, and really nasty to wear. Judges were also really split over using them as evidence, but there was little else we could do. People like him were scum of the worst kind. Ever seen what drug addiction does to people? Families? Communities? Fuck. We had to get this done and dusted.

I hopped in a shower and tried to turn my thoughts to nicer things. Emily …..hmmmm….that was a really nice thought…. That sweat covered body…those thighs…..those eyes...

Now, don't get me wrong, you might think I'm a bit of a sex maniac being as a lot of my thoughts centre on women, breasts and sex in general. But, trust me I'm not. Since Sue the psycho left (yes, I do like to name the people I dislike) I've actually not slept with another woman. Fuck, can't believe I've just owned up to that. I flung myself into my work to get over the loss of my dog, and the can opener. It's not that I can't get over her, (or get a woman if I wanted) seriously, it's just that no other woman has actually interested me to the point of wanting to do the horizontal mambo with them. Not until those deep brown eyes…. I sighed gently to myself. Still, like Effy said, her actions seemed to show some interest in return.

I looked at myself critically in my bedroom mirror; I could do with a holiday. I'm tall for a woman, but not overly muscled. I'm more lean than anything, my regular Pilates sessions saw to that. My naturally tanned skin was looking somewhat anaemic. I couldn't even make out the few scars I had acquired over the last nine years of being a copper. Fuck. After all this is over I'm off to Florida for a bit of sun.

I pulled some p.j's on and settled in for an evening of hot chocolate, and Angelina as Lara Croft.

The last thing I remembered thinking about before nodding off to sleep was that little wink and those mesmeric eyes….