A/N: Special thanks to Fireotaku18 and hpalabay for their reviews on my last chapter :) and thank you for the alerts and faves and thank you so much to everyone who has followed the story so far. It's for all of you that I write. So please bare with me xD
Enjoy! :D
Stay With Me
Chapter 8: Ghosts
Even at dusk, with all the lights off, her ghost was everywhere. Sleeping in bed with him night, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, kissing him goodnight. Then in the bathroom, trying to look perfect, but she already was…always had been. Pulling her raven hair back, then dropping it to where it flowed past her shoulders, she would sigh and turn to him looking hopeless.
"You're beautiful." Is what he always told her, because it was the truth. She was always beautiful…even her ghost was lovely. Just like she was that night. The last night she was truly with him, alive…smiling…then blood…so much blood…
"AHH!" he screamed, because it was all he could to in this pain.
Agony…guilt…emptiness was all that was left.
It was his fault that she was gone ….gone… GONE!
"Please stop smiling at me." He asked between the fingers of the hands he used to cover his face and his vision, "You shouldn't be smiling at someone like me…IT'S MY FAULT YOU'RE NOT HERE!"
"I love you…Im so sorry, Rinoa…Please…Please forgive me!" He sobbed out. Her ghost smiling ripping holes in his already shattered heart.
They would have been better if they had never met…he should have never told her he loved her…if he hadn't…maybe she would still be here…with him.
He should have insisted on a limbo driver…but he wanted to be alone with her…their honey moon had to start and end with them alone…it did now, didn't it? He had gotten his wish… What a sick man he was…
He should have never proposed… he should have never met her…
"Rinoa! Please-! …come home…"
She laid her head on his shoulder as he sobbed pathetically on the couch in the living room.
What a sick name. A ghost in a living room? How sick was he?
He was in the kitchen now…how he wasn't sure…maybe she had brought him here.
"You should eat…" her voice like the wind…
"I'm not hungry…"
"Squall…"
"I said I'm not hungry!"
"Dude chill!" a male voice responded.
"What…?" Squall asked before he was blinded by the lights. "Who?"
"It's me Squall… Irvine." The auburn haired man came to his side and touched his shoulder. He gave him a once over and frowned, "You…look like hell man."
"Wish I was there…" the brunet mumbled as he looked off to the last spot he had seen his angel…yes she had vanished with the light…or maybe it was Irvine that made her vanish…he could only sigh unsure if he was grateful or not for her disappearance.
"Enough of that!" the man sighed, his long bangs masking his strained face for a moment until he plastered on a smile as fake as a mask to his face, "Lets go out, Squall."
The brunet only looked to him with revulsion, "Why?"
"Why? Uh." The man looked lost for reasons at the moment, "Because Squall, everyone misses you."
"No, they don't. Why would anyone miss me? She…she had much more light in her than me…" He frowned at the cup in the strainer…it was her favorite cup…blue with a little moogle painted on it…he remembered he once told him she had had it since she was a little girl….yet it still looked perfect as if it was brand new.
"Squall…they all really do miss you."
"Who would miss a killer?"
"Squall! Don't talk like that!" Irvine paused and took in a breath, seeming to calm his own nerves. Then after a moment tried again to look Squall in the eyes, "Please, Squall…stop blaming yourself. You're getting sick thinking like this!"
The brunet only looked to Irvine with an indifferent expression and then continued to gaze off into the room, at anything, that wasn't his friend. He couldn't look him in the eyes after what had happen. He couldn't face any of them. He felt his friend grip his shoulder, "It wasn't your fault…you did everything you could…"
Squall had to bit back his lip to keep it from trembling. It was hard to keep himself together no…who was he fooling? We wasn't together, he was a complete and utter mess. The only thing he was holding in front of Irvine was his pride, his shatter pride of being a man. What kind of man was he now, without her?
"You loved her…We loved her…but we also love you Squall"
He just would let up, the brunet couldn't help but grown in agony. Why hadn't he given up on him? He had managed to chase the others off all his other friends with harsh words and even violence …but Irvine…just wouldn't let up… He should abandon him…he wasn't worth all this.
"Squall…" finally the brunet looked to his friend, his eyes as empty as his soul.
"What is it, Irvine?"
The auburn haired man took off his ridiculous cowboy hat and set it on the table before turning back to Squall, eyes full of remorse, earnestness, and the love he still held for the other man; which was something Squall just couldn't understand the reason why it was still there.
""It wasn't your fault."He said, gripping the brunets hand in one of his own, and using the other to stoke back the bandage on his forehead back in place. His only wound from the accident…the doctors said it would most likely scar…what they didn't see was that he was already scared…what would one physical one do?
A tear slipped from his eyes and he covered his face. He began to sob and he couldn't stop. He was nothing, nothing without her… why couldn't Irvine see that? Why wouldn't he just let him be…?
He pulled Squall close, in a strong embrace, so strong Squall could feel the man's adoration for him…and it was suffocating. Yet all he could do was grip the over man back, as he sobbed.
"It's okay. You know? We're all here for you." He just held him tighter as his words ripped at the fragile strands of what was left of the brunet's heart.
"Please, Squall…" he gripped him even tighter, burying his own face in the brunet's shoulder, "Please…"
Squall could only look at the matted leather he had probably ruined with his tears, and listen to the cowboys words, the only true sound he had heard since…his last visit…
"Please don't leave us too…"
The brunet shot forward in a bed of a room he didn't recognize…
Anxiously he fumbled out of the bed to the window, trying to recognize the view of the snow covered city before. Some pieces gathered some reconciliation in his mind… like that café…he went there with Irvine once before…and down that street…down that street lead to the public library, and—
The sound a something glass hitting and shattering onto the floor caught the brunet's attention as he turned to find some blond boy staring at him.
"You're awake…" He stepped over the shattered glass bowl, just barely missing a large shard of glass with his feet which were only covered by sox's. He moved to come closer to the brunet. Right as he was about arms reach, the brunet took half a step back from the blonde, looking at the blond with a blank expression.
"Who are you?"
The blonde stopped in his tracks, and just looked to the brunet incredulously,
"You….you cant be serious?" he asked disbelievingly yet at the same time sounding distressed, "You don't know who I am?"
Before the brunet could speak the blond steeped closer, angry rising in his voice and pain laced his eyes and voice, "You don't remember…What are you saying!"
The brunet began to feel faint, he touched his forehead, trying to steady himself, then things began to get dark…
"Hey!" The blonde managed to catch the brunet, "Leon…hey Leon…but it out, ok? C'mon. open your eyes."
Leon? Why was he calling him that…Leon…Leon…
In the darkness of his own mind he recalled their first meeting…
The blonde charge up to him no hesitation, his turquoise eyes swirling with anger, "Who are you? What are you doing here? What do you want?"
"Cloud Strife…" he mumbled from the darkness of his mind.
"What?" unsure if he was hearing things he shook the brunet, "Hey! What did you just say?"
"You're…Cloud…Cloud Strife…"
Cloud couldn't help but smile in relief, "Yes! Yes that's right." He was now kneeling on the ground, with brunet's head resting on his thighs.
"Now," The blonde started, feeling hopeful, "Why are you here?"
The brunet didn't move…but he spoke after a moment that to the blonde felt like an eternity, "To return…return your will…your will to live."
Cloud could feel relief sweeping through him like a wave. He wasn't going to be alone; the brunet was coming back to him. He was ok, they were both going to be ok.
"Who are you?" the blonde asked, just making sure the brunet was truly together again.
The brunet got quiet for a long moment. Who was he? He was Squall but…no…no he was this Leon now he was…an…an angel…no…he was forsaken…he needed to redeem himself…he was…but what…what had he done that needed to be forgiven?
Beginning to feel worried, the blonde called out to him, "Leon?"
"I…died. Didn't I?" A tear slipped through his closed eyes.
Taken aback, the blonde wasn't sure how to answer him…he sounded so…hurt.
"…Yes…you did. You're a…an angel or something. Or so you told me."
"A sent angel…"
"Yes…"
Another tear fell from the closed eyes of the brunet.
I'm so sorry Irvine…I guess I…couldn't promise you that, huh?
Forgive me…
Please…
"Leon?" at the sound of the blonde's voice the brunet's eyes fluttered open, still tear-filled and still seeming a little dazed.
"Hey…" the blonde cooed to him softly, petting is hair back, and whipping a tear away with his finger. The brunet turned to him, and the blonde looked to him condolingly "It's ok. I'm here."
"…We're all here for you."
The brunet chocked back a tear; it's just like Irvine…
"But…I'm not here." He looked to the blonde helplessly.
"But you are." The blonde looked to him with a small smile through a pained expression, "You're here with me right now, aren't you? I can touch you, cant I?" he asked, as he gently stroked the brunet's hair back,
"You are here, Leon. You're here with me. You're not alone." The blonde smiled more, "And now, neither am I."