A/N: Yayyyy I kept my promise!!! Here's another chapter for your reading pleasure. Now I need to get to work haha. Only 31 hours until a bunch of school work is due, oh joy. I wanted to make sure I made up for my being MIA for 3 months though. I will try to make sure that that doesn't happen again, but it might take me a while between updates. I will keep writing though. Things are just starting to get good. haha

I just read over this chapter and realized that there is a lot of glaring and sighing going on. Thank god for thesauruses. lol

Okkkkkk I don't have much else to say. READ :)

I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.

8. Impulse

"What the hell is it, Jim?" Bones hissed as the doors to the Captain's quarters lightly swished shut behind him. "You've been acting up since you passed out two days ago in this very room and I can't find any medically viable reason as to why. Now are you going to offer me the goddamned sanity of an explanation, or is this whole situation screwed like mostly everything else that involves yourself?" he demanded, glaring at Kirk angrily from the entrance. Kirk would normally have laughed at him to blow his comments off, if it weren't for the fact that he would much rather explain his conflict to a McCoy that wasn't fighting the urge to throttle him.

"Yeah, uh… sorry about that." Kirk said as he mussed his hair. "There is a problem."

"You're damn right there is. Care to tell me what exactly the problem is?"

"Christine Chapel." He tried his best to maintain his composure as he said her name.

"My nurse? What about her? Did she do something wrong?" Bones asked as he tried to read the expression of his friend. "Do you need me to talk to her?"

"No, no, she's perfect. That's the problem."

"You're not making any sense."

"I…" Kirk stammered as he braced himself for McCoy's reaction, entirely too sure of the fact that some form of taunting would ensue. "I like her."

"Look, Jim. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't sleep with my nurse, all right?" he groaned. "I need her to be happy when she comes into work, not distressed."

"Bones, that's the problem. I don't just want to sleep with her. I like her." He winced as he said the word aloud for a second time. He winced again when he saw McCoy raise his eyebrows in disbelief.

"No you don't." he laughed.

"I do."

"No you don't."

"Don't make me say it again!" Kirk yelled, feeling his cheeks redden. The conflict of being out of his element was enough; McCoy's taunting was an unnecessary burden.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right, Jim? Do you have a fever or did you pick up a bug on that planet or what? Quit pulling my leg. You're acting like a damn 6th grader."

"No, Bones, I feel fine. Well I don't feel fine, but I'm not sick." he sighed.

"This is not like you…" McCoy said with a frown as he eyed Kirk.

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. Please, can you stop being so cynical for one second and help me out here? I- I don't know what to do." Kirk tried his best not to sound pitiful, but judging by the look on Bones' face, he knew he was failing.

"Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a relationship guru. Notice that I'm out here in space because of a divorce. What do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know. Just try to help me?" he asked as he plopped into one of the chairs still placed around the wooden table. McCoy took a seat next to him.

"If I pour you a glass of whiskey, do you promise not to pass out again?" he teased.

"Don't remind me." Kirk said with a smile as he accepted the glass that Bones handed to him.

"So… I guess the best way to start this is to ask you how you feel." McCoy said thoughtfully. Kirk blankly stared at him, waiting. "How do you feel, Jim?" He ensured that the question was asked as obnoxiously as possible.

"Funny you should ask," Kirk replied sarcastically, causing Bones to roll his eyes "because I haven't been entirely myself as of late. I'm sure you've noticed, which is why you're asking…"

"Cut to the chase." McCoy interrupted.

"Okay, geez. Well, maybe I should work from the outside in. There's the obvious reason that she's beautiful, and her eyes are the most mesmerizing things that I have ever seen. They're so clear and blue and I can't bring myself to look into them because every time I do I can feel my stomach turn and- " he cut short when he looked at Bones' expression, which exposed that fact that he seemed to be having trouble taking him seriously. "Do you want me to explain this to you or not?"

"Yes. Are you sure you're well?"

"Yes, Bones, I'm still sane if that's what you're asking."

"I'll take your word for it then." he joked as Jim glared at him before continuing.

"Then there's just the way that she, I don't know, is. Christine is so caring towards everyone, in a way that should make you sick, but she's short tempered with me and isn't afraid to challenge me. She notices little things, and… I don't know Bones. I can't explain it, but the way she makes me feel drives me crazy, and not the good kind of crazy."

McCoy simply nodded.

"Well, would you like to know how she makes me feel?" Kirk asked in annoyance. McCoy nodded again. "You frustrate me." Kirk sighed. "Since you care so much, I'll tell you. If I look into her eyes and my stomach drops, my heart feels like it's trying to break out of my chest, and my throat closes up in the most uncomfortable way. If she touches me, I just stop. Every part of me stops but my mind keeps going and spinning and I get dizzy. I flush and get nervous and self-conscious and none of this has ever happened to me before. If I don't fight it then I feel fine, but I have to fight it. I don't know how she feels, and I care about how she feels, so I'm too afraid to just go with my impulses. I can't trust my impulses. I fight it and I just feel worse. The worst part is when she calls me Captain. I keep telling her to call me Jim and she won't. That doesn't help my… insecurity." The last word was practically an embarrassed sigh.

"Well, this would explain the symptoms…" Bones thought aloud. "You really had me worried, ya know that?" he scolded.

"Really? I'm surprised to know that you actually care about me, Bones. I'm honored."

"Yeah, I'm a good friend, whatever. Well, Jim, my advice to you would be to stop repressing your feelings. Maybe if you just went with it and told her how you feel then, who knows, things will just work themselves out. Most women on this ship have a thing for you anyways." With that he downed the rest of his glass and stood, preparing to leave.

"But what if she doesn't? And either way, I don't want her to just have a thing for my anyways. I- " Kirk stopped short and frowned at his friend as he cut him off once again.

"Jim, you came to me, which makes me your doctor and you my patient."

"I'm not sure that's what this constitutes us as…" Kirk questioned.

"Shut up and listen. My doctor's orders are for you to go and just do whatever your impulses tell you to do. Just don't distress my nurse please. I've finally found a good one who I don't intimidate the hell out of."

"Fine." Kirk huffed childishly, aware of the fact that pouting just might be taking it too far, but doing so regardless. Bones groaned inwardly.

"Yeah, good luck with that. I'll tell you what; I have to back to the sickbay to finish organizing some things, you stay here and sort things out in that head of yours. Meet me there in one hour and tell me if you've figured anything out. I'm sure that Spock is going to take advantage of the time that he has to review his data, giving us a few hours before he'll want to beam back down."

"Will do." he replied, waving off his friend as he watched him step out of his quarters. Once McCoy had left, Kirk finished his glass and sat on the edge of his bed, resting his face in his palms, trying to think. To his dismay, it wasn't really working.

"Is zee Keptin angry?" Chekov asked Nurse Chapel as she attached a variety of wires to the ensign's chest. Ana Sofia was seated on the bed adjacent to his, watching the different lights flash on the screen above Chekov's head as she attempted to interpret what they meant with regards to his health.

Christine sighed. "I honestly don't know. Why do you ask?" she ventured as she poked at a few buttons on her tricorder.

"I passed him in zee hall as I vas returning to sickbay, and greeted him as alvays. He ignored me and valked past me as quickly as possible. Docter McCoy vas running after him."

"I see… to be honest I don't really know what's going on. He's been having mood swings on and off all day."

"I zink it is my fault." Chekov fretted.

"No hun, don't be silly. I just don't think he's feeling well. You've done nothing wrong." The screen above Chekov's head beeped.

"What does that mean?" cadet Navarro asked eagerly.

"It means he's fine." a gruff voice answered from behind her, causing the cadet to jump.

"Perfect timing, doctor McCoy, the standard test cleared Chekov to report for duty. Are there any other tests you'd like to run before releasing him?" Christine asked expectantly.

"No, go ahead and let him go. I need to talk to you…" He stood in the same spot, not looking at anything in particular. He wasn't sure what he was going to talk to her about, to be honest. He just felt that something needed to be done.

Christine frowned. "Okay, ensign, you're good to go. Both you and cadet Navarro need to report back to the bridge. Spock is probably waiting for your data."

Both left the sickbay, to cheery for McCoy to bear. Once they were out of sight, he realized that Christine had been standing next to him expectantly, waiting for his "talk".

"Is it about the Captain? How is he?" she nonchalantly asked.

"No, it's not." Bones lied, finding to his dismay that he was unable to reveal Kirk's situation to the target of his affections herself. "I was just weary about asking you to do me another favour, since you've done so many for me today." He awaited her response.

"As long as I don't have to baby-sit James T. Kirk again, then of course, Doctor." his nurse joked.

"Right. It's got nothing to do with him." Bones muttered as he racked his brain for something to say. Christine Chapel frowned.

"So what is it?"

"Could you hold down the fort again for me?" he blurted, disappointed in the fact that asking her to once again take over for him in the sickbay was all he could think of. Even more disappointing was the fact that he could not think of a reason as to why he needed her to do so.

"No problem. Where are you running off to now?" Christine pried, amused by McCoy's look of utter confusion, and equally intrigued to discover its source.

"Stuff…" he trailed off as he once again left the sickbay, not exactly sure of where he was going. All Leonard McCoy knew was that he did not plan on returning for Kirk's next visit.

Kirk slung himself onto his bed and groaned in frustration. He had tried to sort things out in his mind, but every time he thought about Christine, his reflexes would kick in and make him uncomfortable and moody. Soon he would have to face an angry doctor with no verdict to defend himself with. He wasn't sure as to what he feared more: Christine Chapel's rejection or Bones' glorified rant.

Gathering all his willpower, he stood and left his quarters, sighing as he stepped onto the turbolift. He had a distinct dislike for whenever Bones took it upon himself to play the role of the concerned friend, because whenever he did, things became serious. Kirk would find himself unable to take on tasks with his usual playful cockiness, and unable to flash his signature shit-eating grin without five minutes of prior meditation. Once Bones became the concerned friend, Kirk's problems became real. Yet, at the same time, he found himself appreciating the help from his friend as he walked down the long white hall that lead to the sickbay. Without McCoy's concerns, Kirk would leave his biggest personal problems floating in limbo, as he much preferred to engross himself in the exotic situations that he and his crew always seemed to get into rather than nurse his own.

It was just as Kirk's admiration for the help he was receiving from his Chief Medical Officer peaked that he turned the corner into the sickbay to find no Chief Medical Officer in sight; just an exceptionally beautiful nurse with blue eyes and a defiant heart performing an inventory of the medical supplies onboard the Enterprise. Before she turned away from the wall that she was facing, Kirk slipped back out into the hallway and let out a relieved breath once he determined that he had made it out unseen. He was all too aware of the plan that McCoy had devised. Bones you asshole.

He stood in the hall, debating whether or not to go back into the sickbay, and what to say to Christine, when Spock contacted him over his communicator.

"Spock to Captain Kirk." his voice buzzed.

"Yes, Spock?" Kirk answered.

"Captain, I would like to submit my request to return to the planet, now that ensign Chekov's health has been restored and all current data has been processed and surveyed."

Kirk jumped at the excuse not to re-enter the sickbay. "Of course, Spock. Please advise all members of the landing party to report to the transporter room immediately."

"Thank you, Captain."

The communicator clicked off, and Kirk couldn't help but to grin at having outsmarted Bones by avoiding the situation all together with a legitimate excuse. He walked down the hall and stepped back onto the turbolift, Christine following a few seconds behind him. Shit. He had completely forgotten that Christine would use the same turbolift since it was the closest to the sickbay.

"Captain." she acknowledged with a smile and stood next to him.

"Christine." he muttered as he busied himself with the buttons on the wall. A silence followed that unnerved him, and he eyed one particularly large red knob before taking a deep breath and jamming it. The turbolift lurched to a full stop.

"What happened?" Christine asked as she spun around to face Kirk.

Kirk leaned against the wall. "Nothing. I stopped it."

Christine's worried look turned into a confused scowl. "Why?" she demanded.

"Because…" he trailed off, looking into her widened eyes. Here he was alone with her, and he found himself unable to articulate what he so badly needed to say. Frustrated, he took a step towards her, and in turn she took a step back, lightly bumping into the wall behind her. She gasped, startled, but didn't take her gaze off of Kirk. He struggled to get the words out. A simple three words. It shouldn't be this hard, he thought as he looked down at her. She was looking up at him, her eyes boring into his as she stood her ground, unsure of what to expect.

Nothing. Nothing. Kirk couldn't say a word, and her blue eyes remained locked on his. He couldn't break away. He didn't want to break away, but every second that passed caused his heart to beat faster and faster, and he could feel the heat rising. When he became convinced that his Starfleet sweater was suffocating him, impulse took over. He cradled Christine's lower back in his hands and met her lips with his. She did nothing, frozen, and Kirk cursed himself for panicking, ashamed of having put her in this situation and ruining all his chances. He just thought that it would be easier, this way; that maybe she would understand, but he knew he had hoped in vain. Just as he was about to break the kiss, much to his surprise, Christine relaxed and parted her lips, welcoming him. It deepened as she dropped her medical kit on the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on the tips of her toes. Kirk spread his hands on her back, pulling her closer to him, and she arched into him. His heart was beating at an inhuman rate. He was surprised to find that he felt more joyful than aroused, but welcomed the feeling as he lost himself in the moment. Christine's scent was overpowering, her small frame pressed hard against his as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. Emotions seared through him that he had never before experienced, and he was more than willing to invite them to stay.

Suddenly, Christine broke the kiss. Kirk refused to open his eyes, sensing that something was wrong as her body froze once again.

"Why can't you call me Jim?" he whispered to her, pain rising in his voice as he opened his eyes. Christine's expression was one that he had never seen before. She looked up at him, her eyes watering as she stared icily at him. Slowly, she slid out from between him and the wall, retrieved her medical supplies from where they had scattered on the floor, and crossed the turbolift, slamming her hand against the emergency stop button. The turbo lift once again jerked to life as it continued its descent. She turned her head and continued to look at him with the same icy stare. The rest of the ride was done in silence; Kirk and Christine stood at opposite ends of the space. He was at a total loss of words, unable to understand any of what had just happened, and simply looked down at the floor, embarrassed. She had kissed him, and then stopped. None of it made sense, but Kirk assumed that it was his fault.

Finally, the selected deck was reached after what seemed like an interminable ride, and Christine hurried off, leaving the Captain wounded and alone. After she was out of sight, he too made his way towards the transporter room.

A/N: Wtf Chapel?!?! Poor Kirk. Oh well I guess you'll have to wait to figure out what goes down on the planet. The green cat-thing (it will be named eventually, lol) will make another debut.

Anywaysssssss... please review! I love my readers 3 If you think you know someone who would enjoy this story then pass it on. haha idk spread the unrequited loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

review review review :)

~hace