It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache

Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down

It's a fools game, nothin but a fools game

Standing in the cold rain, feelin like a clown.

"It's a heartache"

-Bonnie Tyler

Chapter 21:

I never did believe in happy endings

Thanks for getting me out of there, I said, relieved.

When I ran past, you seemed to be kind of twitchy, Seth explained. I figured you could use an excuse.

Good call. It was quiet. Everything okay?

It's a girl, Seth explained. So he had gone back to the house after all. I shrugged. I was too relieved that Sam didn't know what was going on to get angry.

Didn't mean I couldn't still be a smartass.

Great. Another little whiny, self-sacrificing bitch that doesn't know when to shut up. Just like her mom. What's the mutant's name? I was curious. I know that Bella and Edward had thought the child was a boy, so they only discussed names for boys. They were so certain that the baby would have a little winkie. What weren't they wrong about?

Don't know. I only got a quick glimpse of her. Rosalie was trying to quiet her down. He softened his tone. I think Edward and Jake were working on Bella.

Suddenly, my stomach became a ball of pain. I thought of Jacob. He had to be hurting so badly.

He hasn't phased back yet. Still no exact orders. Should we go to the Cullen's…

No, there's too much going on there right now. We just need to run the perimeters. Sam doesn't know anything, but that doesn't mean he won't find out. I was starting to let everything sink in.

I felt Seth cower in response to my thoughts of the last time I had seen Bella. To sum it up in four words: She looked like shit. And neither one of us had any clue as to whether or not she had made it.

Maybe she's…okay, and Jake just doesn't want to leave her. Seth tried to stay positive.

Or maybe she didn't make it and Jacob had taken off again. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd run away from his pain.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

Either way, we're without our fearless leader at the moment.

So, what do we do? Seth was concerned. It almost seemed as if he was waiting on orders from me.

What happened to you outranking me? I teased him.

I don't know what call to make here, Leah, he whimpered.

The best thing we could do was to give Jacob the space he needed and to continue protecting the Cullens.

You go west and I'll go east. We'll meet in the middle. If you run into trouble, do your best not to get killed. That was all the advice that I could muster. I wasn't used to leading. And I didn't feel right doing it in Jacob's place. I really hoped that he would be back soon.

Seth and I took shifts running. Four hours each, rest, another four hours, rest again. We ran for nearly 24 hours and still hadn't heard a thing from Jacob. I was tired of giving him his space. He needed to let his pack know what was going on. I couldn't stand waiting anymore. I had to know what he was doing. I had to talk to him.

Seth, I'm going to the Cullen's. It's been too long. Something is wrong.

Can't hurt, Seth agreed. I'd kind of like to know what's going on there myself. Every time I get close to the house, I chicken out of going in. I guess I'm afraid of what I might find.

Well, I'll let you know soon enough. I raced towards the mansion. The house looked very quiet when I arrived. Should I go as human again, or should I just shout at Edward with my thoughts? After a bit of deliberation, I decided that going on two legs was probably best. Jake hadn't phased back yet and I needed to talk to him. If he was human, the conversation might be a little one-sided.

When I got to the front door, I hesitated. I just felt so vulnerable going into this place while I was a human. I shook past my fears and knocked on the door. No answer. Had they killed Jacob and taken off with the vampire baby? My heart started racing when I pictured Jacob laying dead inside the house somewhere. Screw courtesy; I turned the knob and barged in.

Big mistake. The moment that I entered the living room, I had three angry vampires crouched and ready to attack. But that's not what scared me. The thing that frightened me was that Jacob was in their midst, looking crazed and ready to attack as well.

As soon as they saw that it was me, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper stiffened up and let down their guard. Apparently, I wasn't a threat. I frowned. Shows how much they knew.

Rosalie was cradling what I had to assume to be little Bella Jr. as she turned away from me, shielding the brat. Jacob eased up, too. I was still too shocked to form a response.

"Leah?" Jacob questioned. "What are you doing here?"

"What the hell? You're protecting the demon kid?" I was shocked.

"It's a long story," Jacob shrugged.

"Well gee, thanks for keeping Seth and I informed." I paused. "I thought you were dead."

"He might be when Bella wakes up," I heard Emmett mumble. Hmm, so she had made it. That would explain Edward's absence. He was probably with her, watching her writhe in pain. What a stupid thing to do to someone you loved. Carlisle was no doubt monitoring her condition. My best guess was that Alice and Esme were with Bella as well. Both were very attached to her.

Rosalie said angrily, "Yes, Emmett, we're all unhappy about Jacob, but Renesmee…" Jacob glared at Rosalie, warning her to shut her mouth. To my surprise, she actually did.

Renesmee? Were they freaking kidding me? It wasn't enough that the kid was a demon in human's clothing, did they want her to get her ass kicked on the paranormal playground? What the hell kind of name was that anyway? I scoffed. Probably some idiotic name thought up by Bella. She probably thought she was being creative. Why couldn't people just stick with regular names anymore?

"Twenty bucks says Bella goes for his throat." Emmett seemed pretty sure that Bella would be pissed about something when she woke up. I still wasn't getting it, so I just continued to look at Jacob for an explanation.

I started to let my anger out. How could Jacob not tell us what was going on? It would have been one thing if Bella had died. Then, I could understand he needed time to grieve. But she wasn't dead. Not in the technical sense. And he was spending his time here hanging out with a bunch of bloodsuckers. He couldn't even take two measly minutes to phase and let Seth and I know what was going on?

Jacob could see my frustration. How much I was shaking. And I did feel the anger burning me from the inside. But I had control of myself. Jacob's eyes fluttered around the room nervously. Was he afraid that I would give in to my rage and hurt one of his new best friends?

"Don't worry, Jake. The only one in danger here is you," I frowned. "How could you keep us in the dark? After all we've done for you?"

"Calm down. Please," he said softly.

"No!" I yelled. The vampires all watched me warily. I was surprised that they didn't sick Jasper on me. He was the one who could control emotions. "I will not calm down! What are you thinking, Jacob?"

"Look, I'll explain everything later. Just please go back to running patrols? It's imperative that none of Sam's pack gets through until I have a chance to speak with him personally."

"So, you're going to tell Sam instead of me and Seth? What kind of pack leader are you?" I immediately regretted saying that.

"Outside…now," Jacob growled.

"Why?"

"You want to know what's going on? I'll show you," he said. I had no reason not to listen to him. So I followed him outside. We didn't go very far from the house when he phased. I reluctantly followed.

He hadn't lied to me. He was showing me everything that had happened when Bella crashed. I tried not to pay attention to when her heart stopped beating. Jake gave up after a while. Her heart was done for. He raced out of the room, leaving Edward to play with the corpse.

I saw him glaring at Rosalie, wanting to kill the baby that she was coddling. The child had killed Bella, or so he'd thought at the time. He decided that after all he had done, that Sam was right. The baby should die. It was an abomination. He crouched down, ready to lunge for it.

Then, Rosalie spun around and Jacob looked the creature in the eyes. I felt the warmth in Jacob's thoughts. The heat was incredible. My heart dropped into my stomach as I saw the baby the way that Jacob had, through his eyes.

I was too shocked to say anything. Seth wasn't.

You…imprinted? Seth gasped. On Bella's baby?

Now you see why I haven't been around.

My tongue was still tied in knots. I wanted to scream at him. Tell him what a Grade A moron he was, but I couldn't force any words out. I heard Seth mulling over his thoughts. He seemed to approve.

If you're happy, Jake, then so am I, he shrugged. You deserve your happy ending, too.

Thanks, kid. Nessie's a love.

Had he just called the child…Nessie? So, Renesmee wasn't bad enough? Now she was a Scottish Monster.

I never would have dreamed in a million years that imprinting would feel so good, Jacob admitted. I get what all the other guys were raving about now.

Still tongue tied. After all the shit he had given me about imprinting, he was going back on everything he believed in. The whole "falling in love" normally versus having your free-will taken away. His mind was completely changed. Fucking hypocrite.

Leah, you're being awfully quiet. Jacob hadn't missed my lack of smart-ass remarks.

Finally, I was able to speak again.

Emmett's right. Bella is going to kill you. I paused. And she would be in the right. As much as it pained me to side with Bella, I could see how pissed off she would be that Jacob staked a claim on her kid. And what made it worse is that Bella had really yet to even meet her baby. So, when she woke up and found out that Renesmee…cringe…what a terrible name, belonged to Jake…she was going to rip his head off.

She won't. Not when she understands, Jacob disagreed.

The kid is a mutant vampire. I thought you hated it.

I heard a growl escape his teeth, I'd refrain from talking about Nessie like that if I were you. I am within biting distance. He threatened me.

So now you're choosing vampires over your pack? I questioned.

You knew this pack wasn't forever, Leah, he grumbled.

I felt my heart sink. What did this mean for the future? Jacob had promised me that I wouldn't have to go back to Sam. I was hoping that after everything had passed, that we could go our separate ways while still staying connected mentally. Jake and I were dealt the same hand. We were used to the pain of losing loved ones. I thought that we had made a connection. I had come to consider him an actual friend. We just got each other. Now, he was just abandoning me?

He heard my jumbled thoughts and then sighed, I don't know what the future holds. But you will be a part of it. You've helped me more than you'll ever know.

But his words weren't going to make me feel any better. Because I knew that now, he would just pity me anytime we shared the same thoughts. He was abandoning me for some preschooler.

Aw, come on, it's not like that… Jacob tried to make me feel better.

And there it was. The pity. I didn't want that.

Whatever. Go back to your new family. I didn't even glance at him as I raced away from the Cullen's place.

Jacob took my advice and phased back. I ran harder than I normally did. Running had always helped me release my frustration. But it didn't seem to be working. So, I pushed myself past my limits. But the harder I ran, the worse I started to feel. I was doing my best not to let the pain in.

I had almost forgotten about Seth. For some reason, he was being extremely quiet. I was guessing that he didn't know how to deal with my heartache. So I gave him a way out.

Seth, why don't you go hang with Jacob for a while? I suggested.

He was surprised at my request.

You want me to go hang out with vampires? he asked. Are you sick or something?

You know you want to meet the kid. And it will be nice for Jake to have some company there that he can stand.

Okay. He was still suspicious. I could see through his eyes that he was already close to the Cullen's house.

I felt water starting to burn my eyes. That rarely ever happened with me, especially as a wolf. Werewolves could cry, but it wasn't very often that we did. And me? I never cried.

Are you going to be okay? Seth asked softly.

Just…go… I all but begged him.

But I don't want to leave you if you need me, he whined.

Seth…please… I couldn't hold this pain in much longer, but I didn't want to subject my brother to it.

I waited until Seth phased out, and then I let everything go. I didn't want him to feel what I was feeling now. I was so angry at Jacob. I felt completely betrayed. He was the one person on this Earth who understood my pain.

Both of us had expected to be alone for the rest of our lives. We could relate to each other. And I figured that we would be helping one another throughout the rest of our lives. But everything had changed. I didn't matter to him anymore. I didn't matter to anyone anymore.

I had been kicked to the curb so many times that I thought I would have been used to it by now. But apparently, the more it happens, the more it hurts. Sam didn't want me, my dad died, the entire pack hated my guts, and now…Jacob was abandoning me. No one wanted me.

All these unreserved feelings clawed their way to the surface. It was agonizing. As I increased my speed, I felt the giant tears rolling down my snout. I was so angry at myself for giving in to the pain. Damn it. DAMN IT! I did not want to do this. I did not want to cry. But it was too late. I couldn't make it stop.

I sobbed as I ran the perimeter, so the surrounding area was blurry in my sight. I didn't pick up anything out of the ordinary. I just ran crying for hours. I cried until I didn't think I had any tears left. And this is why I hated to cry; because once it starts, it never stops.

When I did finally come to a halt, I stood motionless for a moment. I was drained. I had absolutely nothing left. It was a strange feeling, being completely empty. Being alone. Seth had said that Jake deserved his happy ending. And not that I was being selfish here, but what about my happy ending? I laughed at the notion that that could actually happen.

All the running and all the emotional turmoil I had been through in the past 24 hours started to take its toll on me. I felt my feet swaying beneath me.

I collapsed on to the ground.

I am so tired of being alone.

I closed my eyes and waited for all the suffering to end.