When I ran, I didn't feel like a runaway

When I escaped, I didn't feel like I got away

There's more to living than only surviving

Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying

Though you hear me, I don't think that you relate

My will is something that you can't confiscate

"Staring at the sun"

-The Offspring

Chapter 22:

I just don't care anymore

It was an odd feeling, having nothing left to care about. I thought that I would have torn Jake a new asshole after finding out about him and Nessie, but instead, I was incredibly calm. That freaked the hell out of me. Where was the fire and rage I was so used to? I had to wonder if the vampires hadn't had Jasper put some kind of voo-doo spell over me to keep my anger at bay. Then I quickly remembered that I was still angry, I just didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.

That's not to say that my crying jag didn't help at all. In fact, after I got crying out of the way, I actually felt a hell of a lot better. I was still broken though. In fact, I think Jacob had broken me more, if that was even possible. I could tell Seth was concerned about me. He kept asking me if I was okay. I told him I was going to start charging him a dollar every time he asked me that. He just shrugged and told me he had a decent amount of money in his savings account.

When I was calm enough, I took the images that Jake had of Nessie in his head and I reviewed them. I really looked at her the way that he did, with such love and adoration that made it hard for me to hate her. She really was a curious little thing. Kind of cute, too. I felt bad for her though. With such a crybaby mom and a controlling father, she was bound to have issues. What a great society we live in where parents are continuously allowed to fuck up their kids.

Seth and I continued to run perimeters while Jacob spent time with the vampire child. After another day had passed, we felt Jacob phase. I just stayed quiet. I still hadn't worked out exactly what I wanted to say to him yet.

Jake! Seth was excited.

I don't know why he was so thrilled. He spent more time at the Cullen's with Jake than he did as a wolf. But that was fine by me. I just ran the border's myself, chatted with Embry when I got the chance (leaving out Jake's whole imprinting fiasco, of course), and focused my attention on keeping the vampires safe. I was still loyal to Jake, whether he wanted me to be or not.

How's Nessie? She still growing? Seth asked for an update.

Unnaturally fast. I could tell that Jacob was nervous about that. Even though it had only been two days since the child's birth, she was already the size of a three-month-old. And the fact that they didn't know anything about her kind, being that she was half vampire, and half human, they weren't sure what the future held for her.

I'm sure Carlisle will figure out what's going on, Seth nodded.

I pushed myself to agree, Yeah. Wait, I thought I was pissed at him. Why was I trying to make him feel better?

Jacob was more stunned at my kindness than I was. He and I hadn't spoken since I ran away from him. Seth was getting our orders from him when he visited the Cullen's. I had had some time to get over my anger. Maybe running and crying had done me more good than I'd realized.

So, you're not mad at me anymore? Jacob questioned.

Oh, no, I'm still plenty angry at you. But I don't blame the baby.

I felt Jacob smile. Aw, you're finally calling her a baby instead of mutant. That's a big step, Leah.

He was already annoying me. I grumbled, I was getting so used to you not being in my head. Where are you running to anyway? I could see through his eyes that he was actually leaving the Cullen's place. Kind of shocking considering it pained him to be away from Nessie. Damn it, now he had me calling the kid that.

I felt Jake immediately tense up when he gave his response, It's time that I talked to Sam.

Seth and I both stopped in our tracks. We knew that he would need back up if he was going to see Sam. Considering how badly I had taken the news that Jacob was in love with a little vampire baby, I can't imagine what Sam's reaction would be. He wouldn't hurt Nessie, the law wouldn't let him. One of the only laws that all werewolves had to follow was that no wolf could ever hurt another wolf's mate. But just because Nessie was safe didn't mean that Jake was. Lately, it didn't seem like Sam had very good control of his temper. He'd gone crazy with power before Jacob, Seth, and I took off. Who knows what he was like now? He might kill Jacob on the spot.

Keep running the perimeters. This is something I need to do alone. Jacob shook his head.

You're not that stupid, are you? I shook my head. You can't go alone.

I'm not going to involve the two of you in this. Now just do what I say. It still wasn't an order. Jake had yet to use his Alpha command on me and Seth. He didn't ever want to use it. He knew how badly it felt to be under someone else's rule. That's not something he wanted to put us through ever again.

I think I can hold my own against Sam Uley. If that was all he was worried about, I didn't consider it a problem. I knew where all his weak spots were. And now that I wasn't under Sam's rule anymore, I could use that against him.

I'm not going anticipating a fight. Jacob sounded pretty calm.

Yeah, he wasn't going looking for a fight at Bella's wedding either, and that had almost ended up in a death match.

But Jake… Seth whined.

I need you guys to make sure Nessie stays safe. Keep running.

I didn't like Jacob going to see Sam alone, but it's what he wanted to do. So I was going to respect his wishes…kind of. I pushed my perimeter out so I would be close to the boundary line, no doubt where they would be meeting. I wouldn't interfere in their conversation, but I would be close enough, so that if it did turn into a fight, I could back him up.

Jacob knew exactly what I was thinking, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he just sighed and ignored me. He got to the boundary line in record time. He was probably running as fast as his legs would carry him so he could get back to Nessie quickly. I could feel how hard it was for him to be away from her. It was causing actual pain. It was the same kind of pain that he'd had over losing Bella, but worse. It was like half of his heart was missing.

As expected, Sam was waiting for him. He was alone. I couldn't believe that he'd leave himself unprotected against an attack. I wondered if he had an ambush waiting in the trees.

It's always worst case scenario with you, isn't it, Leah? Seth didn't like my pessimism.

It's called thinking outside the box. If you look at things from all angles, then sometimes you can stop bad things from happening. I tried to explain my view to my brother.

I went back to what Sam could have planned. If Jacob stepped out of line and Sam wanted to fight, he would probably have chosen Jared and Paul to be his flanks. They would be the two who wouldn't have a problem fighting Jacob. I'm sure Quil and Embry would refuse to do it. And if Sam knew they were already thinking about leaving the pack, then he wouldn't want to do anything to push them further away. Collin and Brady weren't very skilled at fighting yet, so that just left the other two obvious choices. But could they go through with the fight? If Sam was capable of doing something that heartless, then everything I thought I knew about him was untrue.

Would you relax, Leah? I'm not going to get killed. He paused. Besides, I've kicked Paul's and Jared's asses more than once.

I watched from a distance as Sam and Jacob approached each other slowly. Neither of them phased, which I found rather odd. They needed to have a conversation that didn't consist of "bark, bark, growl, growl."

I heard footsteps behind me. Someone on two feet. I spun around and saw Embry walking towards me, hands up submissively. I still didn't lower my guard. Even though Embry and I were slowly becoming friends, he was still a part of Sam's pack. And I was part of Jacob's. We were still on opposing teams, and our Alpha's were just down the road within biting distance of each other.

"Hey, relax. It's just me." Embry smiled nervously. "Wanna phase so we can talk?"

Then I started to wonder, what if revenge was the key here? They obviously couldn't take their anger out on Nessie or the vampires, so what if destroying Jacob's pack is what Sam had in mind? They could easily manipulate me through Embry. I looked into his eyes and realized how silly I was being. He wouldn't go through with anything to hurt us.

Still, I let him know that I was concerned about Jacob and Sam. I turned my head towards where they were staring at each other and let out a whimper.

"Oh, yeah, that…" Embry shrugged. "Wouldn't know anything about it. Sam forced us all to phase. He wanted to talk to Jake alone."

Hmm, I guess Alpha's think alike. Jacob had been pretty adamant that he go to see Sam alone as well. Though, he hadn't gone as far as to make Seth and I phase out.

"So am I going to have a one way conversation with myself here or are you going to join me on two feet?"

I glanced down the hill to the clearing where Sam and Jacob were still just gazing at each other. It actually looked pretty boring. Jacob knew I was here, so as long as I stayed within howling range, I couldn't see the harm.

Seth, howl if you need anything, kay? I let him know what I was up to.

Tell Embry I said 'hi.'

I nodded my head to let Embry know that I was going to phase and put my clothes on. As I disappeared into the trees, I phased back and got dressed. This outfit was getting pretty worn down with all the running that I had been doing.

"Wow." Embry noticed my ratty hair. I'm sure I looked like a mess. I hadn't had a shower in over a week. "You could use a hairbrush."

I laughed, "Shut up, Call."

He grinned widely at me, something I had come to expect from him. Even though he was still under Sam's command, he seemed pretty happy. I wondered why that was.

"Oh, I brought you something." Embry jogged over to the bushes.

"If you bring me a dead bird in your mouth, I will break one of your arms."

"That's cats…" Embry shook his head. "Dogs fetch slippers…or in this case," he came back into view carrying a backpack, "clothes. I figured you were running low." He handed it to me.

"Did you go through my stuff?" I dug through the backpack. I wasn't as angry as I thought I would be.

"No. Your mom gathered it for you. I'm just the messenger," he shrugged. "There should be some stuff in there for Seth, too."

I dug around a little deeper and found a pair of sweatpants at the bottom. God bless her. My mom was a saint.

"How's she doing?" I questioned.

"Well, I'm apparently her new best friend since I'm the only one in the pack who talks to you and gets updates for her on you and Seth."

"She's using you to spy on me?"

"Basically," he nodded.

"That's my mom." I smiled proudly. She was so crafty. I looked at the bag. It was just like her to still be taking care of Seth and I even though she couldn't come around us right now. I decided right then that as soon as this blew over, I would go back to La Push. And the first thing I would do when I got there would be to walk through my front door and embrace my mother in the world's longest hug.

"She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and Seth. And to come home when you get the chance." He paused. "And there was something else…" He pulled a scrap piece of paper out of his pocket. He glanced at it. "Oh, yeah. She supports you two." He chuckled. "That kind of pissed the other Elders off. They wanted her to admit that what you, Jake, and Seth are doing is wrong. But she stood her ground and was adamant that you thought you were doing what was right."

It made me feel better that my mother wasn't wallowing over the fact that we had abandoned the pack.

I glanced down the hill and saw that Jacob and Sam were no longer in sight. I wonder if they had phased and were speaking somewhere as human. Embry noticed my wandering eyes.

"Don't worry. Sam didn't seem very angry when he asked us to phase. I'm sure they're just talking."

"Until Jacob tells him what's going on…" I mumbled to myself.

"Why? What's going on?"

I pondered whether or not I should tell Embry everything. Oh well, Jacob was here to tell Sam about Nessie. What harm could it possibly do?

"Jacob imprinted," I blurted out.

Embry's face stayed blank. I wish I could tell what was going on in his head.

"Just happened yesterday." I started to prattle on.

Still nothing.

"Embry? Say something before I hurt you!" I threatened.

"He imprinted?"

"Yeah."

"On Bella?" Embry guessed. "I bet Edward's pissed. Unless…" He gasped. "Holy crap, did he kill the vampire so he could have Bella!" He continued his theory. "Did he kill the baby, too! Did he imprint to save her?"

I could see where Embry would have made that assumption. I hadn't really clarified anything before opening my big mouth.

"Okay, let's rewind for a second here." I slowed him down. "First of all, Jacob didn't kill anyone." I had to laugh at the fact that less than a month ago, I had been wishing that Jacob had killed Edward at the wedding. I still didn't like him, but I was kind of glad that Jake hadn't ripped him to pieces. "Second, Bella had the baby." I saw Embry flinch when I mentioned that. They were apparently still afraid of it.

I hadn't ever met Nessie personally, but so far, from what I had gathered from Jacob's and Seth's thoughts, she didn't seem like much of a threat. I just hoped it would continue to stay that way.

"So is Bella…" Embry searched for a way to ask if Bella was still alive.

"She'll be a Cullen by tomorrow afternoon." I cringed at the thought. It had been peaceful without her around. I didn't want to get used to the fact that after tomorrow, she would be back in Jacob's mind, so I would be forced to deal with her again

"Well, if it wasn't Bella, who is it that Jake's in love with?" he asked curiously. There seemed to be an edge in his voice. My guess was that he was afraid that Jake had imprinted on another one of the Cullens.

"Bella's daughter."

"He imprinted on a vampire?" Embry's eyes got wide. "Man, no wonder you followed him out here. Sam's liable to kill him…"

I had to remind myself to tell Seth "I told you so" when I phased back. I wasn't the only one who thought that Jacob's death would be the outcome today.

"She's only half vampire. She's half human, too," I explained. I couldn't believe that I was defending her.

He shook his head. "How is that even possible? A vampire getting a human pregnant? That sounds like a badly written romance novel."

He had a point. I still didn't understand Nessie's existence.

"Is he happy?" he asked quietly.

Of course he was happy. He was happier than I had ever seen him.

"Yes." There was no doubt in my mind about that.

"Well then, congrats all around," Embry shrugged.

I thought for a moment. Geeze, his reaction made me feely really shitty about my reaction. Both Embry and Seth were willing to accept the fact that their best friend imprinted on someone that had vampire blood in her. That made me see how selfish I had been. Jacob did deserve his happy ending. Even if it was with a hybrid weirdo.

"What's her name?" he questioned.

I couldn't contain my laughter as I answered, "Renesmee. But everyone calls her Nessie."

He howled along with me in laughter. "Are you serious? That's fan-freaking-tastic! Oh man, we might not be able to hurt her, but we can sure as hell teach Claire how to make fun of her name and then set the two of them up on a playdate…"

I knew Quil was going to thrash him for even joking about that.

Embry and I laughed about Nessie for a bit longer. After a while, the situation did seem pretty funny. First, Jacob wanted to kill the baby so Bella could live, then he wanted to protect the baby so Bella wouldn't die, and now he was in love with the thing he had hated most in the world.

We both stopped laughing at the same time. Jacob came jogging out of the trees and we heard Sam howl from a distance.

"Guess he's calling a meeting," Embry shrugged. He smiled again, "Wonder how everyone else will take the news."

"Twenty bucks says Paul overreacts," I offered.

"I might as well give you the twenty now. That's a guarantee." He looked to where Sam had called from. "Gotta run." He waved as he started jogging away.

As I watched Embry running away, I grabbed the backpack and took off in the opposite direction. It wouldn't take me long to catch up to Jacob. I was dying to find out what Sam had said. I tossed the bag down, threw my clothes off, and phased. Then I picked the bag up in my teeth and ran after Jacob.