Chapter 23

"You know Naomi, if you come around to my house because you need to talk asap, the clue is in the words. You talk, not walk into my house and stick your head in your hands and refuse to talk for fifteen minutes."

I heard Effy shuffle and get herself comfortable on her stool. We were in our usual place in her house when we had chats, the kitchen. I spread my fingers slightly and peeked at her through them, sitting, waiting for me to spill my soul out onto the breakfast bar. Sighing deeply I closed my eyes again. What the fuck was I doing?

The kitchen clock was deafening with its loud ticking as I refused to talk and Effy refused to make idle chit chat.

I heard the kitchen door open and someone occupy the stool next to mine. Turning my head and peeking through my fingers again I saw Freddie smiling at Effy over the table.

"Naom's phone's been kicking off babe." He placed it on the counter. "Your Tone trying to get hold of this one" He looked at me and I shut my eyes again as I saw his gentle smile.

"She still not talking?" I heard Effy sigh. "Fucking great, now you're not either. Right then"

I felt rather than heard him shuffle closer to me. Two big hands were placed over mine and my hands were removed from my face after I'd put up some sort of half arsed fight to keep them there.

I was faced with his hippy skater boy shaggy hair and big brown eyes looking at me sympathetically. "Naomi, I know I'm risking you ripping me limb from limb by just..." he gestured down at our joined hands with his head. "Look, denial ain't just a river in Egypt you know. It's ok to admit feelings and stuff. It doesn't make you any less a person." He smiled in memory. "Look how long it took me to break her down." He nodded his head at Effy.

I had to smile at that one. She had led him a merry dance.

"Just think about it ok?" He gave my hands a squeeze, stood up, grabbed a can from the fridge and headed off again, leaving me facing Effy.

I sighed. Effy blinked and just stared at me with those blue eyes of hers.

"Emily's dad said I had love in my eyes when I look at her." I blurted out. Effy just smiled and waited for me to continue. I sighed again. Ok, I spilt my guts out on the table. Told Effy everything from start to finish of the past day or so, excluding the horny details of course. Told her about the passion, the calmness, the sheer rightness of it all. And how fucking scared I was. How scared she made me feel. How utterly vulnerable, defenceless and completely exposed. How I hated all this lying to her shit.

I finished in my usual position, slumped with my head resting on my folded arms on the work surface. Effy had copied my position. I looked across at her knowing she knew me well enough to see the fear reflected in my eyes.

"Naoms, you know why you're running scared. Everyone is noticing the change in you the past month. Shit, Freddie even managed to touch you without you threatening to kill him. He says you've mellowed out a bit." She reached over and held my hand. "Only you know when you're ready to admit this tiger, but she brings out the gentle side of you like no one else I've ever seen. It's not a bad thing you know, not having that tough nut facade in place all the time" she gently rubbed my knuckles and brought the whole four letter word thing out into the open. "Love's love. Some people fall quickly, some people take a while. It's scary, believe me I know just how much. But it's worth it. Tell me how she makes you feel Naomi, just tell me what goes through your head." She looked up as Freddie strolled into the kitchen interrupting us, glaring at him.

"Sorry babes, there's a guest at the backdoor. He's being all paranoid and super cop again". I smiled at Freddie's dramatic eye roll as he walked to the back door and opened it, letting Tony's tall figure into the kitchen.

As Tony greeted Freddie and Effy I thought about how Emily made me feel.

God, I loved her.

I knew I had feelings for her, but it hit me full force in the chest right at that moment, without any warning. She made my whole heart feel full. Just looking at her. Thinking of her. I knew right then and there that I couldn't be without her. Not for anyone. No matter who it hurt. Even if that person was me. But it was too quick, too quick. She scared me. 'Us' scared me. It was too intense. But I loved her. I LOVED her. Naomi loved Emily. Fuck.

I looked up as Tony waved his hand in front of my face.

"Hello? Earth to Naomi." I just sat there stunned at my epiphany. I raised my eyes to meet Effy's and saw a gentle understanding in them that made its way to her lips as she gave me a small smile.

Fuck. Tony. The job. Right, switch on Naomi. I shook my head a couple of times to try and switch to work mode, running my hands through my hair. Effy and Freds left the room to 'leave the super spies to it' as Freddie worded it, but not before Effy came around the counter and gave me a hug.

"We'll talk before you go yeah?" She winked and ruffled my hair. Bitch. She knew I hated that.

Tony replaced his sister opposite me. I raised an eyebrow at him and enquired as to his reasons for sneaking around the back of the house.

"It's starting to kick off Naoms. I'm taking precautions, we can't be seen together you know that. You're back in that place tomorrow aren't you?" I nodded.

"Yeah a shitty late shift, why?"

"You're not going in mate; we need you back in the office with us. We had another tip off last night. The Crimestopper girl, and another new one. A 'concerned member of the general public no less, both saying the same thing." I raised an eyebrow. "Apparently your mate Cookie is having a visit off his distributor on Thursday. The surveillance lads tailed him after that night club fiasco and he met with a couple of Kurt Mavens boys. They gave him a good pasting for losing that bag of Class A I presume." He nudged my phone across to me. "Make your sick call now Naomi, the balls rolling and we'll start sorting everything out tomorrow"

I sat up straight, work head well and truly screwed on. Dialling the porter's office number I quickly made an excuse to the lads on duty and said I'd ring when I was coming back. My thoughts returned to Jimmy's dealer. Maven was one of the smarmiest rat bastards in the area. He was known for being a huge dealer amongst other scams, but was too clever for the system. Twat. My guv had been after him for the past 3 years. This was a major big deal; the guv'd cream his pants if we could somehow nail this fucker. Trust me on this. Jimmy Cook was indeed swimming with the big fishes. I was just winding up into a protest about why I was only finding out about this now when Tony cut me off.

"Don't fucking start. I can manage paperwork and your phone was off. You had company and you actually are entitled to some sort of down time during this stuff ok? You know it, I know it. You can't be fucking Robocop all the damn time. And you know, I am technically your superior in age."

Sometimes he was so like his sister, the way he knew what I was thinking that it was uncanny. And I hated him for it. Only sometimes mind. He looked at me, eyes twinkling.

"And how is the lovely Emily?" He smiled at me and I played along, playing the grumpy twat.

"Fuck off cunt. Just because you're an old married man." He laughed at me.

"Fucking ouch Naoms." I leant across and punched his arm. "I take it all is well and sexy times have been had?"

I managed to get his perverted mind off his current train of thoughts with a swift tweak of his ear and telling him all about being threatened by Lord Fitchster as Effy poked her head in enquiring if we'd finished using her kitchen as a hidey hole. We had finished actually, everything else could wait for the morning when I returned to my my proper office and proper roll. I could finally shed my portering persona. I told them about the new and improved Campbell-mobile. Big, butch and black in colour. Yup, I reckoned I'd ticked all the boxes and it would be mine next Friday. Mint. A reward for (hopefully) some serious arrests on Thursday.

Tony did his James Bond exit through the back door and I spent another couple of hours in Effy and Fred's company. As I left Effy pulled me back in for a hug.

"How does she make you feel Naoms?" I pulled back and stared at my shoes for a few seconds before setting my shoulders and looking up.

"Loved. She makes me feel loved Eff." I smiled and took a deep breath. "I love her" I gave her a peck on the cheek and headed home via the glorious Liverpool bus service.

Sitting on my seat behind the obligatory pissy smelling drunk that appeared on every Arriva bus (it's the law to have one per bus) I pulled my phone out of my pocket about to text Emily as it started buzzing in my hand.

"Hey babes, I know we've, you know, made love and all, and we talk all the time, but I still love texting you. Makes you and us more real. I had such a brilliant time with you yesterday and today. I miss you. Really miss you Naoms. Can I see you tomorrow? Please? xx"

I sat and stared at the message. This urge to be together, it was insistant and we were both utterly powerless. She really did. Magnets Tony'd said a few weeks ago. He was right. She felt the same didn't she? I rattled off a quick reply.

"Yes please. I'll be free after 5pm. Let me know when and where and I'll be there. I feel the same Em's, I really do. Xx"

I put my phone away and smiled, settling back to listen to the pissy sloppy drunk singing badly as I headed home.