I guess it's no use

I'm screwing up every little thing I ever tried to do

I'm born to lose

God must hate me, he cursed me for eternity

God must hate me, maybe you should pray for me

I'm breaking down and you can't save me

It's fuckin hell and I wanna go home

"God Must Hate Me"

-Simple Plan

Chapter 26:

I live in a supernatural soap opera

I think that went pretty well. Jacob was proud of himself.

Don't get too ahead of yourself. You haven't told Bella yet, I shrugged.

So that's why you're volunteering to come back to the Cullen's place? Because you're afraid she'll get mad? he questioned. Don't worry about it, Leah. I can handle it.

Yeah, you handled it so well last time. I flashed the memory of Seth's shattered shoulder and collar bone, and Jacob cowered down at the image. I'm not going to let Seth get hurt again.

That was my fault, not his. Seth shook his head.

Look, just don't intervene this time if Bella wants to kill Jacob.

That won't happen again, Jacob said seriously. And if you're coming with us, you might as well know that we're going back as human.

Well, that was just fantastic. This day was starting off wonderfully. Of course, it got worse from there. When we phased back, I realized that the only clothes I had were the worn down dirty ones I had been running with for the past five days. I had forgotten to grab a fresh outfit when I had been home. And the backpack full of outfits that Embry had brought me was sitting in the middle of my living room floor.

We walked through the rain. It felt so off to be on two feet and not four, especially walking into the vampire's place. I saw Bella's jaw drop when Seth and I entered. I knew that Seth hadn't warranted that kind of reaction. She was surprised that I was here as a human. I saw her cower a little. She had to be remembering the last time I had come into this house human. Her memories might not be so great, but there's no way she could forget my rant at her selfish ass. I smiled a little at the memory of the discomfort I had caused her.

I had to channel my thoughts into something calming. My hands were already vibrating from the tension. I looked over and was surprised to see that Seth's hands were shaking, too.

"What are you so freaked out about? You practically live here," I whispered quietly.

"I'm just nervous about…well…you know…" He didn't want to reveal to the Cullens about Jacob's brilliant plan.

I saw Alice freak out. Her little future telling power was completely out of whack. With all of us here, she couldn't see anything going on in the future.

Edward growled angrily, "He talked to Charlie…"

I braced myself. Here it came. Bella was going to attack, I just knew it.

Alice was the first one to speak, "Oh, fuck…" Her foul language surprised and entertained me. I hadn't expected such a dirty word to come out of her tiny, high pitched mouth.

I glanced at Bella. She was cradling Nessie tightly. Hmm, I guess the baby served a bit of good when it came to keeping Bella calm. Either that, or Jasper was getting really good at controlling her reactions.

Jacob had to go and ruin it

"Since he'll be here soon, you might want to have Alice get you some sunglasses or something. I mean, I assume you don't want Charlie to see your freaky eyes."

"You assume way too much. You're lucky I have my daughter," she growled.

Edward yelled at Jacob, telling him that this would be painful for Bella. I perked up. It would? Well, I guess maybe I could get comfortable here.

I watched from the corner quietly as Jacob explained his conversation with Charlie. There were a couple of times I swear that Bella was going to lunge for his throat, but she didn't. She just hugged her daughter tightly to her chest and tried to remain calm. I was a little disappointed. I really wanted to fight with her.

I moved forward with Seth when Jacob approached Bella, but Jacob quickly waved us away. I shrugged. Well, it was his funeral.

Suddenly, Alice was whipping around the room, telling everyone what to do. She ordered Seth, Jacob, and I to keep as far away from Bella as possible, so she could see her future. When she ordered Bella to give Nessie to Jacob, I understood why Alice had seemed so hesitant last night. She wasn't trying to avoid Bella, she was trying to avoid Nessie. Nessie did the same thing to her power that the wolves did. How weird.

Jacob and Seth slid down to the floor, making themselves comfortable. They started to play with Nessie. I felt completely out of place. I didn't belong here. This was one "happy family" moment. But I didn't have a happy family. I still didn't have a place that I completely belonged.

Nessie smiled and pat Jacob's face. He chuckled and then glanced over at me. I guess he could see that I was sad. He motioned for me to join, but was interrupted again by Alice giving orders to everyone.

Oh no. No, no, no. I wasn't going to stand around and let a vampire tell me what to do.

"Am I allowed to leave?" I questioned. I didn't want Jacob to think I was abandoning him. But obviously, Bella wasn't going to kill him, so there was no need for me to be here to see what a happy future I didn't have.

Jacob looked startled that I wanted his permission.

"Of course."

Even though I was leaving, Alice continued to sputter directions at me, "Make sure to stay east so you don't cross Charlie's path."

I didn't even care enough to answer as I bolted out the back door. I raced home, trying not to let the feelings of loneliness overcome me. I kept bouncing back and forth to this feeling of not belonging anywhere. In a sense, I felt like I did belong with Jacob and whatever pack he had. But I still felt like something was missing. And it felt like it was right in front of me, I just couldn't see it. That annoyed the hell out of me. Now I understood why Alice was so frustrated when she couldn't see the future.

When I got home, I found my mom cleaning around the house. She looked delighted to see me.

"How'd you sleep?" she questioned.

"Like a baby." I cringed at the word "baby." I wondered if Charlie would be able to see that Nessie looked exactly like a blend of Edward and Bella. He wasn't stupid. He would know the truth. He wouldn't understand it, but he would know it. One look at Nessie and he'd be able to tell she was the rotten fruit of his daughter's loins.

"You took off pretty early this morning." Apparently I had woken her up.

"Sorry. I didn't realize you were home. I assumed you were still with Charlie," I shrugged.

"Why, Leah Clearwater, you know that your mother is not that kind of woman," she chuckled. I laughed too, and then muttered something about me being glad that she wasn't with Charlie this morning.

"Why? What happened?" She hadn't missed my mumbling.

"It's a long story." I pulled out a chair at the kitchen table.

"Is Charlie okay?" She bit her lip.

"Charlie's fine. Jacob's the one we should worry about." I shook my head. Really, what was Jacob thinking? It was an extremely dangerous thing to do. I tried to remember that he was doing it for Nessie. It was still a dick move on his part. "He's the one who phased in front of Charlie."

My mom dropped the bowl she was washing and it clanked against the side of the sink. She stood in silence for a moment. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. I really hadn't considered what her reaction would be. Score one for my impulsive big mouth. Good job, moron. I thought to myself.

"Uh, mom? You okay?" I questioned.

"Jacob phased in front of Charlie?" she repeated what I had just said.

"Yes."

"Why would he do that?" she asked quietly.

"Long story short: to make sure Bella had a reason to stay in town. Which, apparently, now she will be." I figured if she was able to not kill Charlie, she wouldn't have any reason to leave. "He's at the Cullen's now, meeting his new granddaughter."

After a moment, my mom started to wash the bowl again. She seemed to be thinking the situation over. I'm sure she was partly relieved that she didn't have to hide anything from Charlie anymore, but I could tell the other part of her was scared for him.

"He doesn't know about vampires, but we're not a secret anymore," I shrugged. "Jacob thought it would be wise to let him make his own assumptions after spending some time with Bella and Nessie today." Because Jacob had completely lost his mind.

My mom nodded understandingly, "Ah, I wonder if our plans are still on then."

Holy crap, had she just accepted that Charlie knew about us that quickly? Wow, my mom was cooler than I had ever given her credit for.

I started back in with our playful banter.

"You have another date? You go girl." I teased her.

"I invited both him and Billy over for dinner tonight."

"Wow, you sure are cooking an awful lot." I smiled. "I leave for a couple of days and now all of a sudden you've become a gourmet chef."

"I wouldn't go that far. I burned the macaroni and cheese a few nights ago." She laughed.

I smiled, "So what time are we expecting Charlie and Billy?"

"Six. Why?"

Because if Charlie isn't here exactly on time, I'm going to kill Jacob, I said to myself. "No reason." I didn't want to worry my mother.

But I didn't have anything to worry about. Charlie and Seth were actually back home by 5:30. And Billy was at the house ten minutes later. I started to feel a little overcrowded, so I went out for a jog.

I ended up at the cliff that Sam and the boys would sometimes jump off of into the icy ocean below. I hung my feet over the edge and let out a sigh. There was a slight breeze in the air. I thought of all the happy couples surrounding me. And it made me realize that I had once had that. Sam and I were in love…at one point. I laughed callously. Whoever had said that it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all was apparently an idiot that had never been in love. Or, someone that was completely full of shit.

I heard a noise behind me. I wasn't alone anymore.

"Want some company?" Embry asked from the shadows.

Oh crap, I had forgotten that Embry wanted to talk to me last night. I had gotten completely wrapped up in Jacob's idiotic plan to scare the hell out of Charlie.

"Sure." I waved him to come and sit down.

For some reason, he looked nervous as he got to the edge. That didn't make any sense. He had jumped from here several times.

"So, how's Seth?" Embry questioned. "I heard he saved Jake's ass."

"He's fine. Completely healed," I shrugged.

"I hear Charlie braved giving Jacob a belly rub." He had also obviously heard about the fact that Charlie wasn't in the dark about us anymore.

"Jacob's gone crazy trying to make sure Nessie stays in his life." I shook my head.

"God, a lot has changed in such a short amount of time." He had that right. But my last few days of running as a wolf were not what was on my mind.

"You know what's weird? I'm not thinking about any of the paranormal things in life."

Embry chuckled, "What else is there to think about?"

"Strangely enough, my future." I don't know why I felt comfortable talking about this. I had never been comfortable talking about my feelings before. Feelings freaked me out. But I was just so tired of trying to hide behind my anger.

Embry surprised me when he guessed what was on my mind.

"Yeah. I know you've been having a rough time thinking about all the lovers around you lately." He noticed the shock on my face. "Just because I haven't been in your head for a while doesn't mean I don't know what you're thinking."

"I forgot that you haven't imprinted yet either." I had been so floored by the fact that Jacob imprinted on Nessie, that it slipped my mind that Embry was still alone too. I felt bad for him. But he didn't seem near as miserable as I did. I guess he had more hope for his future than I did for mine. "You've got a better chance of settling down than I do."

"You are so pessimistic sometimes." He shook his head. But he still had a smile on his face. "You don't know that someone won't come and sweep you off of your feet."

"Not gonna happen." I argued. For more than one reason. I went with the one I knew that was guaranteed to make him laugh. "Because men don't know how to sweep."

He continued to ignore my pessimism. "You're going to fall in love and you'll never even see it coming."

"I don't have to be friends with the psychic vampire to know that that's not true," I frowned. "Come on, look at my track record. Sam was the only person I ever wanted to be with. The moment he left me, my life turned to shit. Everyone I have ever cared about leaves." I couldn't believe I was saying this out loud. I had said it in my head a million times. But to hear the words out loud was an odd sensation. "I push people away because I don't want to get hurt. I don't have any friends because I don't trust anyone. I thought maybe I could trust Jacob. We had a mutual understanding. But then Nessie came along. And I lost him, too." I laughed at how stupid that sounded. "Jake was all I had. And now I don't even have him anymore." How pathetic was it that I couldn't hold on to a friend for more than a week?

Embry paused a moment. "You have me."

His response caught me by surprise. There was a lot more emotion behind it than I would have expected.

"Thank you?" I posed it as more of a question because I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by it.

He was quiet for a minute and then he laughed and shook his head from side to side.

"Man, I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet."

"Figured what out?" Okay, I was completely lost.

"Leah, last night when I wanted to talk to you…" He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. "Ah man, I knew I'd screw this up. I suck with words. I just wish I knew exactly how to say this without coming off as a total douchebag…"

"Okay, Embry, what the hell are you talking about? You're really starting to freak me out."

"Maybe it would be better if I just…" He looked down at the ground and then shifted his eyes to mine nervously. "I should just…show you…" He moved his hand swiftly, but gently to my arm. I was in such a state of shock that I froze in place. What was he doing?

Without saying a word, he grazed his hand up my arm and placed his palm on my face. My jaw dropped, but he just continued to smile. His hand was warm on my skin, which was odd considering I was a werewolf too, and the heat shouldn't bother me. I felt a current of electricity go through me and Embry dropped his hand back to his side and let out a heavy, but exhilarating sigh.

"You…I…did you…" My mouth was moving, but I couldn't make any words come out. It was all complete gibberish. Finally, I was able to access the verbal part of my brain. "What in the hell was that?" I gasped.

"Exactly what you think it was," Embry said, almost shyly.

"No." I refused to believe what had just transpired. "That can't be…it just doesn't make any sense."

"It never does."

I still couldn't tell if I was angry or not. The part of my brain that controlled my emotions had completely shut down. I was still trying to understand it.

"You…imprinted on me?"

Embry took a moment to pause before he answered, "A while ago actually."

WHAT!