Chapter 27

I'd spent 10 minutes after Emily's little bombshell and our chat leaning against the bonnet of Effy's car with my head in my hands mumbling and having another gentle weep. To her credit, Effy knew, as all best mates do, that touching me wasn't the right way to go. She got out of the car after fumbling in the glove box for a minute and sat next to me.

I heard a clicking noise and then the smell of cigarette smoke. I quickly looked up to see her smoking and smirking at me.

"Fred's doesn't know, he thinks I've still given up, but I keep these for an emergency. I think this almost qualifies as one." She inhaled again and offered me the ciggy. I shook my head.

"Don't want a fucking ciggy Effs. I want a bottle of JD and my bed. Will you take me home?" I rubbed by hand over my eyes, willing the tears to dry up. Anything to take this feeling away. I fucking hated crying. Not only did it ruin my hard woman image, my nose always felt like it was bastard melting. Not an attractive sight, me crying. I moved my hand to my hair, ruffling it up and refused to look up. I didn't want to see that Emily was not looking out of her window at the weird loser stalker sitting in the car park with her chain smoking friend.

Effy flicked the cigarette stump on the floor, grabbed some mints out of her pockets and patted me on the shoulder.

"Come on tiger, you're not going home. You're staying with me and Freddie tonight; you can piss off home tomorrow". I opened my mouth to protest, but didn't get a word out.

"No, Naomi." She was firm, almost raising her voice to me. "You're coming home with me. We need a plan of action and you need a rest. You were knocked out this morning and you're still not right. If you wouldn't go the hospital, you stay at mine."

We got back into the car and Effy headed back to hers. I told her everything that was said between us. I needed her help to help me win Emily back. I'd never wanted anything more in my life. Promotions, catching criminals, nothing compared to the feel of Emily's skin, her smell, the look in her eyes as she came. Nothing compared. Nothing would. I'd fucked up, unintentionally yeah, but still, it was my fuck up.

I was sitting on the couch nursing a cup of coffee when all I wanted was to drink myself into oblivion. To forget.

"She was watching you from her window you know." I looked at Effy sharply.

"What?"

"After she'd gone inside and we were sitting talking. She was watching us from her window. Every time I looked up her head would bob down again." She smirked.

"And this is funny how Effy? Stop fucking smirking, you've got your happy ever fucking after with Freddie." I glowered at her, my hackles raised, diverting my self-loathing onto her for a minute. I took a deep breath and let it out, calming down. "Sorry."

"Don't you see Naoms? She's confused. The poor girl doesn't know what to do. Tony said he'd had to physically carry her away from you when her dip shit sister gave you that" she gestured at my jaw, "and she couldn't help herself. She had to look at you even when she'd cut you dead. She loves you, don't ever doubt it. You just need to win her over again."

I sat forward on the couch, head in hands and thought about it. Making a decision, I fished my phone out of my pocket. I know Emily said she'd text me, but there was no reason I couldn't text her first right? I typed furiously for a minute, hit the send button and dropped my phone on the couch.

Effy picked up my phone from where she was curled up in the opposite corner of the couch and raised an eyebrow at me, silently asking permission to read my text. I nodded, knowing what she'd find.

"I love you. I'll do anything. N. Xxx"

Hopefully, she might respond to me at some point soon. I stood up and held my hand out for my phone giving Effy a sad smile. Getting my phone back, I told Effy I was tired and headed for the spare bedroom, leaving her to spend some time with Freds. I had a long day tomorrow. I'd have to give long statements about the case and I just felt weary. I wanted some 'me' time. Well, ok, I wanted some me and Emily time, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon until she forgave me and to do that she'd have to talk to me first.

I spent a restless night tossing and turning. 24 hours ago I was in the throes of passion with the woman I loved. Now, I was on gardening leave and Emily pretty much hated me. Regardless of what Tony and Effy said. They were my friends. They were bound to say that weren't they?

I'd got up next morning to find Freddie in the kitchen making a toast mountain. He was in his usual attire of long baggy shorts and a scruffy t shirt. The snide habit of taking the piss out of him was hard for me to let go of, but he'd never grown up the big fucking kid.

"No need to dress up for me Freddie." He looked up from buttering another round of toast and just smiled at me.

"Well, I thought about trying to impress you, you know, being as we've reached a decent level lately. You and Tony haven't threatened me for a while Naoms." I smiled at him. The nasty one that didn't reach my eyes and watched him squirm. I let the smile reach my eyes eventually, the sadness showing.

I pinched a round of toast off the pile on the plate and sat down munching quietly. A mug of strong coffee was placed in front of me and several spoons of sugar unceremoniously dumped in. I looked up and gave Freddie a genuine smile.

"Thanks Fred. Sorry for invading your house and being a pain in the fucking arse like." He shrugged at me and finished munching a piece of toast. Picking up another one he looked like he was trying to decide whether to say something or not. We sat there in silence until I lost the small amount of patience I had left and told him to spit it out.

"Effy told me what went on yesterday and last night." I nodded, not expecting her to keep anything from him. "It'll work out Nai. You've changed the past month you know." I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "She's good for you. We'll get it sorted out."

I carried on chomping my way through the toast mountain and slurping my coffee. Freddie pointed at my jaw. "Eff said that Emily has a twin sister who did that?" I nodded. "Huh. If she's as good looking as your bird I'd pay to watch her and Eff have a chick fight eh?" He winked at me and I burst out laughing making me wince as the bruise on my jaw woke up and said hi.

"Frederick! If I had my warrant card I'd nick you for being a perv." He just grinned at me from around another piece of toast. His handsome face creased in glee and probably all sorts of kinky thoughts. I had to agree with him, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell him for fucks sake.

"C'mon Nai, tell me you wouldn't get a little...you know...turned on by two sexy chicks like that going at it. In chocolate sauce." His grin looked positively demonic by now and I couldn't help but feel a little chirpier. "Eff said I'm to drop you off home. She left for work early, said she'd bell you laters."

One demolished mountain of toast and another cup of coffee later Freddie dropped me off at my flat, but only after insisting on giving me a hug 'as Effy had told him to'. I indulged for a minute and gave him a gentle cuff around the head.

"Cheers for the lift loser, I'll call Eff later."

He smiled at me. "See ya lezzer" and drove off.

I spent the rest of the day waiting for my boss to turn up to take my statement, and then giving my statement. The sight of my boss sitting on my couch looking utterly miserable and uncomfortable made me feel slightly better again. At least I wasn't the only one feeling hateful at the world.

I told Derek everything. 'Total transparency' as he called it. He recorded all my answers. It took fucking hours. Eventually he sat back and put his pen down. I stayed where I was, curled up in the corner of the sofa. We were both drained. My slightly perkier mood from earlier long gone.

"You've done nothing wrong Naoms. You know it, I know it. I'll have to pass all this on to the suits above, but basically when it comes to Emily, everything you've said checks out with everything she says. It was just the worst fucking timing on the face of the planet. I'll recommend you're off the case and out of the office for a while, but you should be ok to talk to Emily. I'll get Tony to ring you tomorrow. Like he hasn't already" He gave a weary smile and rubbed his head, messing up his cropped grey hair. "I had a chat with her for you Nai. Told her you were just doing your job, but she's pretty fucking hurt. She's a real cracker too."

I smiled sadly. "I know guv. Thought she was the one you know." I moved one shoulder in a half hearted hug. "She's not going to speak to me now. I'm a liar aren't I? Her last girlfriend lied to her and treated her like shit. Why the fuck would she believe me?" I looked up at him. Fucking tears springing up in my eyes again. I really needed to get my tear ducts checked out by my doctor. I'm pretty sure they shouldn't be able to hold this many tears.

The long silence was disturbed by Derek.

"Piece of advice from an old married man Naomi." I looked up at him. "She's worth fighting for. Don't give up. Do not ever give up. Tell her everyday if you need to. If you need to change things with your life for her to come back to you, do it. If she makes you happy, do what feels right. Ok?"

I smiled a watery smile at him and nodded. "Yeah, cheers boss."

I showed him out, rang Eff to update her and went to bed. I couldn't be bothered talking to anyone. What was the point? Emily hadn't replied to me. And tomorrow was my special day too. Picking up my new super car. Yippee. I'm sure you'll forgive me for sounding overwhelmed with enthusiasm.

I finally got out of bed at midday the next day. The only thing I had to do today was pick up my Kuga. I'd been looking forward to it, taking Emily out on picnics. Checking out the back seat... you know the drill. Now? It was a car.

I checked my phone. No text or call of Emily. Three off the sales woman. I called her back and said I'd pick the car up in an hour or so. I'd probably need that time to get my fucking Punto started to get the damned thing there.

Yup, two hours later I was finally the proud owner of a black Ford Kuga. I have to admit, it was choice. With the windows down and the stereo blaring The Ettes out I almost forgot how utterly depressed I was. I'd deliberately avoided Joy Division and Nirvana. Too fucking tempting to just wallow with them on, however good they are.

I found myself driving round aimlessly. I was singing along to Red in Tooth and Claw when the fucking Bluetooth kicked off and frightened the bee jeepers out of me. I pulled the car over and grabbed my phone as the fucking thing went off again. And again. What the fuck? All of a sudden I'm Mrs. Bastard Popular?

I opened the inbox. Yup three messages. Way to go Naomi, at least you can count eh? I opened the first one.

"Hi tiger, bring round that new car of yours this afternoon when you get a chance. I've got an idea. x"

I replied to Eff and checked the second. Tony.

"Good news mate, forensics have started to come in, your girl and her twin will be cleared. Both arseholes prints all over the drugs. Will bell you later. How's the car?"

Cool. Wrecking my relationship was so worth it then.

I looked at the ID tag for the third and my throat went dry. Emily. Shit. I sat there for two minutes. Did I dare read it? What if she was binning me by text? I could hear my heart beat booming in my ears. My fucking hands were shaking for fucks sake. Shit. I stabbed the 'open' button and faced my dragons.

"Hi Naomi. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I turned my phone off. You hurt me and I don't know what to do. You say you'll do anything? Give me some time to figure out what I feel. Em."

No kiss. Shit. Noami, the full title. Ah bollocks. She was so going to bin me off. I knew it. Sighing, I sat back and thought about replying, but figured I needed help first. I'd only fuck things up further. Speed dialling Effy I ignored her stuttering, told her I was on my way over and started my new car again.

It didn't take long to pull up outside my new second residence. There was the most beat up car I'd ever seen parked outside. It was several different colours and held together with rust I think. My coppers eye gave it the once over. Christ it was a death trap. What sort of moron would drive a thing like that?

I made my way round the back of the house after receiving no answer at the front door. Poking my head into the kitchen I was met with the sight of a large handsome black guy sitting in my usual place. I walked in.

"Effy?..." my voice tailed off when I saw the handsome bloke stand up and offer me his hand.

"Hello, I am Thomas, my pleasure to finally meet you." My hand was grabbed in an enthusiastic grip as I noticed the blonde hair on the other side of Thomas's broad shoulder.

"Blimey you look surprised Naomi."

PANDA? I roared Effy's name. She sheepishly poked her head out from the hallway and gave me a weak smile.

"Surprise? I said we needed a plan, who better than a Panda to help a tiger?"

I just glared. Fucking hell. My life was getting better wasn't it?