Thump!

"Ugh…where am I?"

Rio's vision began to clear as she found herself in a palace-like room. She had fallen flat onto a polished marble floor and surrounding her were marble pillars, Art Nouveau decorated walls with odd paintings hung on them, a small wooden table in the middle and an even smaller door behind it. The mysterious door was not even big enough for a puppy to run through, much less a bunny and a flying one at it.

"That bloody bunny…"

"I'm here!" The bunny giggled as it flew through the door in its miniature form, still holding the bra in its paws. Before Rio could reach the door, it was slammed closed and locked as if it had done all that on its own.

"Damn it." Rio snapped. "And how the fuck did that fucking bunny become a FUCKING miniature?"

Rio heard a gasp echo in the room. "Is somewhere there?"

"I don't believe the hero of Wonderland would be so rude. She used the F-word!"

"Who's there?" Rio gasped. "I need help!"

The voice sighed and said, "Well, if you say so…you see that small wooden table over there? There's a small potion on it. Drink it and you'll be able to enter the door."

"How would I know it's not some ridiculous plan to kill me?"

The voice giggled and said, "How ironic! Even if there is, we're not the ones behind it! Either drink the potion or that room will explode in three minutes."

"What is this, SAW?"

"Under the red queen's orders, of course! Drink up!"

"Hello? Hello?" Rio cried. As much as she refused to drink that potion, she had no choice. At least she would have a chance to live. She grabbed the potion that was as big as her little finger and contained only drops of the potion. She opened the potion in a rush for her life, but all of it flew out of the bottle and spilled on the floor as if it was her life. The flat little puddle on the floor, was also slowly dissipating. "Help me!"

She only heard that same irritating giggle of a little girl. Suddenly, she heard a soft, gentle familiar voice of a man. He told her, "Lick it. Lick it off the floor."

"What?"

"Just lick it and quickly make your way through the little door!"

Rio did as told and licked the disgusting liquid off the floor. It tasted horrible and Rio vowed to never trust the voices of a little girl again. Out of the blue, Rio felt her hands shrinking, as well as her legs and soon her entire body was smaller than a mouse and she was standing, clueless, next to the giant empty bottle. The door opened and gladly welcomed her. "Welcome to Wonderland!"

"Very childish, Pixie! Very childish! How could you play a trick on our hero?"

"I don't think she's the hero, Arthur. The last time she came, she drank up the bottle without hesitation and voila! Seconds after she falls into the same guest lounge, she enters Wonderland."

"That was when she was a child, like you. You've lived for thousands of years, Pixie. You should have known better! What if she died in that room?"

"There was no explosion! I was just trying to give her a little scare, now you've ruined all my fun!"

"What did you put in that bottle by the way?"

"Mermaid spit!"

XXX

"Off with her head!" Anna Clarkland screamed as she sat up in her crimson bed in her crimson room filled with crimson furniture. It was just a dream. She panted, worrying about her husband's mission in the human world. She began to regret sending him there. She underestimated that girl, what if her husband was really killed by that witch? "It's that dream again. I'm going to have to confess to the priest again."

She rolled out of bed and looked into the mirror which was bigger than her petit body. She began to panic when she spotted dark circles under her green eyes, ruining the fairness of her skin. She ran towards the bathroom and started another five hours of facial treatment, even though she didn't really need it since she believed her husband would have killed the witch, Snow White, by now. She turned on the water in the bathtub, stripped off her clothes and lay in the foamy water with her face covered with pollen cream and fresh cucumbers. Her silk dirty blonde hair was tied in a bun to prevent it from touching the soap in the water.

"Your Majesty!" Anna heard her maid call out. "I am here to inform you that your husband has returned from his trip."

"Did you ask for permission to speak, Madeline?"

"Um, I…"

"One more time you speak without permission, I'll take your head off and I won't care that you're new."

"Y-Yes, Your Majesty." The maid mumbled and walked out of the room cussing about Anna.

"Why does everyone hate me?" Anna sighed obliviously. Her voice turned into a growl when the thought of her step sister, Francine Bonnefoy, the white queen of Wonderland ruling the 'pure' districts. "Someday…they'll have to like me."

The door was knocked again and before Anna was about to furiously scold the servant or maid or soldier for disturbing her morning bath, her husband, Arthur Clarkland's voice was heard. "Anna, you in there?"

"Arthur! You're back!"

"May I come in?"

"No!" Anna said, a bit too loud. She couldn't let Arthur, her only source of support and the reason why she was able to rule a part of Wonderland see her dark circles. "I'll be out in a minute!"

"Why not? We're husband and wife, what is there to worry about?" Arthur said seductively.

Anna groaned loudly and quickly rinsed the soap off her body, washed her face and put on her nightgown. She opened the door and glared at Arthur for stopping her morning baths. He chuckled and said, "It's not my fault you won't let me see your body."

"So, you managed to get rid of the girl?"

"No."

"What? I thought I said-"

"Shhh." He said, a finger on his lip. "She isn't in the human world. She's here, in Wonderland. I can feel it."

"And you expect me to believe she magically got her powers back and made her way back to Wonderland?" Anna snorted. "I told you she was the easiest to kill when she's powerless, right?"

"She's got help."

"Who could it be? My stepsister? I'm sure she knows that the only portal to the human world in Wonderland is in my area. If she really sent one of her weak underlings to the human world, they would be dead. My area is well guarded by my soldiers and a poisonous forcefield that can only broken by me."

"Or anyone else in possession of demon magic."

"The only ones who posses demon magic are me and-"

"-Arthur Kirkland. Mad Hatter. My doppelganger."

"That madman was executed years ago. That was the reason why Snow White was able to go back to the human world."

"He possesses demon magic. How do you know the head you sliced off years ago was his?"

XXX

"That was uncalled for." Rio mumbled to herself as she found her miniature self approaching a forest. She had been walking for more than a day aimlessly on a beach much bigger than her and suddenly woke up in a forest. Was the hole in the tree some shortcut to a funhouse? Whoever designed that funhouse was a genius, or a complete idiot. She was no longer a miniature as the forest fitted her size for a human. "Oh great! Just great!" She snapped as she kicked a rock angrily into a bush.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Shhh, she'll hear us!"

"We need to tell not awesome LOSERS like her to keep off territories of awesomeness."

"Unexplained voices again!" Rio groaned. "You know what? I'm just going to ignore you. If I continue to talk, you'll probably make me drink something that tastes like SHIT that turns me into the size of SHIT and threaten to blow up this SHITTY forest!"

"Look, you've made our awesome guest angry!"

"Guest? She threw a ROCK into our territory! And people like her are the lowest of awesomeness."

Rio groaned and sat down cross-legged on the grass. "I want to go home!" She whined. "I want to sit in my rotting bookstore rather than be in some shitty funhouse with stupid unexplained voices talking to me!"

"Well, you're probably here because you're a believer!"

"I'm not going to reply…I'm not going to reply…" Rio panted.

"Should we show ourselves?"

"YES. YES YOU SHOULD." Rio snapped.

She crossed her arms and started whining to herself again. Out of the blue, a boy and girl, or rather man and woman jumped out of the bush that Rio kicked the rock into. Their sudden appearance gave Rio a shock. The boy had silver hair and blood red eyes and the girl had nut-brown hair and green eyes. She had to convince herself that they were just actors hired to work in the funhouse. They were both wearing warrior clothes and there was a small chick sitting on the boy's shoulder.

"Hello, awesome guest! I'm Elizaveta Herdevary!" The girl said.

"Seriously, Eliza? Introducing yourself first?" The boy snorted. "I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt aka Awesome aka Awesomeness aka anything related to AWESOMENESS. And this little guy here is Gilbird, my best friend!"

"And we're the best and most awesome hunters dash spies in Wonderland!" Elizaveta chirped.

Gilbert walked towards Rio and pointed a finger into her face. "You have intruded into our territory!"

"Shut up, Gilbert! Must you be so rude?" Elizaveta snapped as she whacked Gilbert with some glowing frying pan. "What is your name, rare guest?"

"My name is Rio-"

"Rio! That sounds like Gilbird's playmate!" Elizaveta giggled.

Gilbert glared at her, rubbing his head that suffered the wrath of Elizaveta's frying pan. "Huh! And you're the one to bring up Rio! You're the one who cooked him!"

"Anyway, what brings you here, Rio?"

"I should be asking you that. What kind of funhouse is this that has no exit anywhere?"

"Funhouse! What's a funhouse? You're in the Wonderland! Though, you seem pretty lost. Are you foreigner?"

"The red queen does not like foreigners…"

"Wait…where am I? Am I in another country?" Rio asked, starting to panic. "I was chasing after this bunny and I fell into-oh wait! Have you seen a flying, green rabbit?"

"You mean the flying mint bunny?" Elizaveta asked, quite surprised.

Gilbert tugged at Elizaveta's sleeve, leaned closer to her and whispered, "She's not that Rio, right? The girl who killed the red king and saved Wonderland?"

"I doubt she's her. Look at this one, she's obviously a human!" Elizaveta whispered back.

"Then how is she able to see the flying mint bunny?"

"Maybe Mad Hatter was bored and cursed her?" Elizaveta turned to Rio. "If you're looking for the Flying Mint Bunny, then you must be looking for the Mad Hatter. He's the owner of the bunny."

"Where is he?"

"Walk straight in that direction and you'll soon see a mobile tea party going on." Gilbert said proudly.

"Thanks!" Rio said as she rushed off into the direction Gilbert pointed at for her.

Moments later, while Gilbert and Elizaveta were still in that bush waiting for somebody to attack, something struck Elizaveta, as if it was a vision. She tugged at the napping Gilbert to wake him up. "Wake up, dumbass!"

"What is it now?" Gilbert groaned.

"You stupid idiot! You led Rio straight to the red queen's castle!"

"So? Maybe she can get directions from the red queen…" Gilbert said nonchalantly, not alert as his head was still sleeping.

Elizaveta raised her hand and gave Gilbert a high-five on his cheek for his correct directions. "Holy shit! I led Rio the wrong way!" Gilbert jolted up and started running in the direction he pointed at for Rio. "Rio! Rio!"

"No point chasing her! She's probably gone a long way now!"

"Then what do we do?"

"Why are you so stupid?"

"Never call awesomeness-"

Gilbert was cut off when the frying pan hit his stung cheek, causing him to collapse. "We'll just have to inform the white queen."

"Why can't we just tell Mad Hatter?"

"You know Mad Hatter. He'll take it into his own hands. Don't you know how risky that is?"

"O-Okay." Gilbert said as he stood up, noticing that Elizaveta had already turned into a feline. He sighed and transformed as well. "Is it really necessary for us to appear in our cat form?"

"Of course it is! Especially for you. She'll probably die just looking at your hideous human face."

"That was uncalled for!"

"Your face is uncalled for!"