Ahem, slight smut.

Losing It

I leaned against the front door, my hand over my fast-beating heart. My eyes closed shortly and fantasies of Seneca's and my encounter replayed in my mind. My breathing slowed and the former smile returned to my lips. Silently, I congratulated myself for having a genuine date. Turning, I opened my front door and walked in.

"How was your date?" asked Alfie.

He was lounging in the parlor, watching some sort of daytime television program. His eyes met mine, which bore an incredulous look. How did he know?

"What date?" I laughed nervously.

"Oh, you know. With Seneca Crane? Everyone at school was talking about those flowers he sent you," answered Alfie.

So he does know. There was no use feigning ignorance. I hoped that our parents remained in the dark. I do not know how father will react to my generous suitor.

"Oh, he is absolutely charming," I responded.

Alfie would be my confidante. After this week, he would probably be the person I became closest. Well, him and Seneca.

"He is a great guy," Alfie agreed, "You know that he saved you from drowning at the party."

"Yes, he told me," I continued, "He graciously dried my clothing and let me change in his personal powder room."

Alfie remained silent for a moment. He grabbed the remote and muted the television.

"Effie, have a seat," he gestured toward a spot next to him.

Cautiously, I took a seat and looked closer his way. His eyes were red, puffy, and sunken with an exhausted air about them. For a moment, nervousness and anxiety took over. Is something wrong? Has he been crying?

"What's going on?" I touched his shoulder gently.

Silently, a tear strolled out of his eye. I waited in pained silence as he wiped it away. He was slightly shaking. I put my arms around him and he rested his head on my shoulder. My hair ran through his smooth hair. He struggled to exhale, and then looked me straight into the eyes.

"Look, I just want you to be careful," he urged in a tough tone, "Seneca is a nice guy. Nevertheless, he is a man. Sometimes men do not always have the best ideas. I trust you to make good decisions."

"Alright father," I jokingly ruffled his hair.

He caught my arm and I stopped.

"Effie, I am being serious. I do not want to see you get hurt. Again," he responded seriously.

The intimacy of the moment brought tears to my eyes.

"Alfie, thank you for caring about me. Thank you for everything. I promise you that I will demonstrate the upmost caution with this relationship," I whispered quietly.

We sat there for several moments, riding out the tide of change. I tried to feel what he felt. He must feel as though he is losing me. While I had never been close to him, Alfie really came though as a brother. I recalled incidents in the past in which he rushed by my side. I wanted to tell him that things would not change between us, but I was at a loss for words.

"I care about you so much. I will always be here for you," he mumbled.

Sleep that night brought pleasant dreams of Seneca and nightmares of losing my brother. I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and excited. Today is the day. I brushed back my sleek hair and adorned some fashionable earrings. I opted for light makeup to highlight my features and hide my flaws.

I crossed the City Circle and found myself knocking on Seneca's door. He opened the door and invited me inside. Today, he wore a fitted v-neck and patterned shorts. I almost lost my breath at the sight of him.

"You look stunning," he grinned and embraced.

As his arms enclosed around me, I felt that heated sensation. He wore light cologne, the smell mixed with his natural fragrance. I liked it. We broke apart and I stood on my tiptoes to offer my cheek for a kiss. He obliged and spun me as to catch my lips instead. Again, those feelings came to life.

"So, what did you have in mind for today?" I asked with a look of knowing.

"I was thinking that we could get to know each other more intimately," he whispered in my ear.

I grinned that famous smile. Then my brother's words returned to my stream of consciousness. The want, the desire, the hunger all faded. Pangs of uncertainty, doubt, and anxiety took their places. Seneca was one-step ahead. He scooped me up in one fluid motion, placing one hand on my back and one under my thighs.

I defied gravity. He carried me up his grand staircase, reassuring me with a gentle stroke on my back as he ascended. What if this is all he wants? Should I be doing this? The negativity grew as he opened his bedroom door and placed me gently on the edge of his bed. He kneeled in front of me and began to remove my heels.

"Seneca," I said nervously, "I have never done this before. You will be careful, won't you?"

"I would never hurt you Effie," he spoke, "I like you a lot. I would never mess up my chance to be with you."

Seneca had never spoken of pursuing a relationship with me. Suddenly, everything became so real. I was sitting on his luxurious bed, letting him remove my footwear. How many times had he done this before? Was I just another conquest?

"Seneca, I do not know if I want to do this. I am nervous that to you, I am just another girl. Please tell me it is not true. Please tell me that you will follow through," I whispered, tears threatening my eyes.

He had removed my shoes. He crossed the room to place them on a small bench. Upon hearing my words, he turned and stopped. Silently, he crossed over and crouched down to look into my eyes. Gently, he took my hands in his. I found his strong grip reassuring.

"Effie, let me be clear. I am not forcing you to do this. You are a beautiful woman, capable of free will. Your decisions are your own. Likewise are mine. And if you will have me, then I promise nothing but love. I will not hurt you," he articulated.

Each word, he spoke with a confident demeanor, enunciating all the key phrases. With his message, my fears faltered. I grew stable, ready, and ahem-willing. Desire overtook my person. I pulled him close to me, needing to feel his hands all over.

"Wait, wait!" he chuckled, "I just want this moment to be special. You are very special to me."

He pulled up his shirt. It took all my self-control to not jump off the bed. He was cut from stone, muscles rippled down his front. I had no idea what sort of training he worked on at Games school, but I was impressed. Once he became indecent, he crossed to the bed. Rolling onto his back, he patted the pillow next to him.

For a moment, I faltered. I knew what he was waiting for. Slowly, I crossed over to him, ready to give up. I lay across the bed and felt his hand on my hip. We began to kiss, exploring each other in full. My breath quickened as the kisses became longer. He teased my hips, moving me under him.

As we kissed, I felt the hunger return. I knew that my satisfaction should ensue in due time, but I wanted the moment to linger. I needed this to be eternal. The steps proceeded just as I had read about with my friends in magazines from days past. Gently kissing became passionate lip locking. Slight touches turned into heavy petting.

The time came. I sat under him, he watching intently as I lifted off my shirt. I refused to feel anything other than want. He took the initiative and reached around my back. Kissing me, he removed our barriers. Now, we were two life forms touching in every sense of the word. His bare skin felt heavenly on mine.

This is it. The point of no return.

"Are you ready?" a heavily breathed whisper on my ear.

My hand found the backboard of his bed. The other dug deeply into his back. My eyes closed. I bit my lip with anticipation.

"Yes."

Hot flashes. Sweat dripping. Limps entangling. Lips crashing against each other, evolving to bites. Rhythmic movements. Loss of air. Heart beating, pounding, thumping. A lot of thumping. Heated whispers. More. Slight whimpers. More. Passionate moans. More. More. More. Synapses exploding.

Finally, we collapsed. He mustered up the strength to find my lips and offer a kiss. Our hearts beat in unison. My eyes opened. Long deep lines echoes across his back. He worshipped my body-his temple. For what seemed like hours, we lay side by side, grasping onto each other.

Finally he spoke.

"Effie Trinket, I love you."