BELLA
"Heya Bells!" Jacob's booming voice preceded him to the door.
"Jake! Where's Nestalia? I never thought I'd see the day when you two would be separated on a journey. Especially since you just got married like ten months ago," I greet my old friend.
"Nessie's coming. She wanted to race, thought she could beat me here," he explains as he enters the mansion.
"Hey Jacob," Jen takes the bear hug Jake gives her with an amused smile.
"Heya Jen! Did I beat Eliot here?" Jacob asks while he tries to peer into the game room.
"You sure did. Now you will have to wait for your video game fix because Bella and I need to discuss something. Of course, you are more than welcome to join us if you want," Jen gives me a meaningful look. I'm not getting out of this one.
"What's the topic? Anything I might know something about?" Jake's curiosity is evident.
"Nothing terribly interesting for you, I'm afraid. It's just a bit of girl talk really," I try to brush it off as I head for the hallway.
"We ran into the Cullen family and Edward was holding a blonde vampire," Jen rats me out like the stupid great friend she is.
"WHAT?" Jacob stares at me until I have to look away.
"So…are you going to join us or would you rather sit with Bethany and make her even more jumpy than the sweet girl already is?" Jen smile sweetly at me while she inquires of Jacob.
"You had better believe that I want to join in," Jacob follows us into a sitting room. I catch a glimpse of Bethany curled up with a book in the game room as we walk by. I wish we could somehow trade places.
"Now Bells…" Jake starts.
"Hold up Fido," Jen interrupts and Jake looks appropriately penitent for trying to start the conversation before her.
"I don't want to talk about it," I try in vain.
"Too bad. We need to discuss this," Jen pushes. I know she won't let this go, so I cave.
"Yeah Bells, how does this make you feel?" Jake asks and both Jen and I turn to look at him incredulously.
"Been watchin' Dr. Phil again, Jake?" Jen can't help but ask.
"I can be a very sensitive guy. Just ask Nessie," Jake feigns indignation.
"The apparently sensitive wolf asks a good question," Jen says as she turns her full attention back to me.
"Thank you," Jake interjects.
"Okay, it was kinda heart-wrenching at first. Then I felt really jealous of that blonde bitch. It was really more borderline hatred than jealousy. I expected the pain to completely consume me again because I could see that he didn't love me…but it didn't," it all comes out in a rush.
"I bet it did hurt. That jealousy is completely natural too," Jake says when I take a breath.
"Wait, the pain didn't take over. I could still function," I respond.
"Hmm…you didn't really miss a beat. There was that brief moment where the initial shock of course. But you accepted that I would clean up and got Bethany to a safe place. Why do you think that is?" Jen asks me this like she has a theory but doesn't want to influence my answer.
"Maybe because I've kinda kept living my life? Seeing Edward holding another woman showed me that he has moved on. I guess I always sorta thought that one day he would come back to me, yet I'm not devastated," I am really just thinking out loud at this point.
"So seeing him showed you that you don't love him anymore?" Jake asks wishfully.
"So the sensitive part of you has a short attention span Fido. That is not what she is sayin at all," Jen rolls her eyes at him.
"I will always love him. Seeing him holding that vampire gives me a sense of closure. I can finally just remember my love for him. The pain is finally gone," I explain to my adorably dense friend.
"I'm very proud of you Bella," Jen hugs me.
Later, when I'm in my room, I fully consider that discussion. I can't believe it. The pain that was always a part of my existence since that day in the forest simply no longer exists. I still love him, of course. Like I told Jacob, I will always love Edward. But now, I don't feel the pain. It's not like I'm just numb to it or have gotten so used to it that I can't feel it anymore. It really is gone. I actually feel lighter. I know that I will be very…serene… the next time I run into the Cullen family. But who knows when that will be. It took 18,288 days for it to happen the first time. And now he might try to avoid me because he will feel awkward.
I can't sleep…might as well get some snackage. I run into Jen in the kitchen. We smile at each other and reach for our respective snack choices. It just so happens that we both hold a special place in our hearts for monster themed cereal. Jen likes the strawberry kind. I like the chocolate kind. Now that I think about it, Eliot likes monster themed cereal too. He likes the blueberry kind. There is always a supply in the safe houses when we get there. It's good that the council likes us enough to do that.
"Where are Jake and Bethany?" I ask when we are both munching happily.
"Nestalia got quite the greeting from Jacob when she arrived. They are in their room doing what newlyweds do. Bethany headed for bed when she finished her book," Jen explains.
Now we munch in relative quiet. I love the fact that Jen and I can do this. We don't have to fill the silence. We talk when we need to. We talk a lot when we just want to. But when one, or both, of us just need to think with someone else there, we are completely comfortable with the silence. Suddenly it hits me.
"Have you heard from Eliot today?" I feel like an ass for not asking earlier. I know how much she misses him.
"Yeah. He'll join us in a couple days," Jen grins like a fool in love.
"Perfect timing," I comment.
"We'll get a couple days before we have to go and finish the job," Jen happily states.
"Demetri won't see us coming…again," I grin back at her and we both burst into giggles.