A/N Lack of updates is totally my fault! Not Elsie's! Apologies. Emera.

She walks into the kitchen.

He's made himself a slice of toast and he takes a bite as he turns around.

He stops chewing when he sees her.

He's never seen her like this. Her clothes are crumpled, her hair is tousled, her lips are swollen. She looks like someone has thoroughly had their way with her. They have. He has.

He swallows and puts his plate down on the side. He's not hungry any more.

'You should probably go and get Jamie' Lucas finally breaks the silence.

Her head darts up because from all the things she expected him to say that was the last. Her brow raises of it's own accord. 'I should go get Jamie?' She reiterates. Her voice is hoarse.

He wants her out of the house. He wants her away from him because she's dangerous. Now he's had her he's fearful of his self control.

'Well, yeah. It's getting late. You're always the one that says he should have eaten by seven and be in bed by eight at the latest' He looks pointedly at his watch. 'It's nearly half nine'

'My Mum will have fed him'

He shrugs and frowns. She's being difficult. 'He has kindergarten in the morning. He should be here in his own bed and settled for the night'

She knows that. She knows all of that but she thinks they should at least address what's just happened between them. Only he's clearly not up for that.

'If you wanted me to leave all you had to do was ask' She shakes her head and laughs humourlessly. 'Wow'

'What?'

'I just, I can't believe I was that bad'

'What?' He's confused. He doesn't understand why she's come to that conclusion. He doesn't think that. He doesn't think that in the slightest. She was very much the opposite of bad. 'No' His head shakes. 'You weren't bad, definitely not bad'

She snorts because his attitude suggests otherwise. 'You're right. I should get Jamie. I'm a big girl Luke. You don't have to try and pretend. I get it'

'I don't think you do' He mutters. 'Look. I just, you... I have Jamie to think about here'

She's grateful that Jamie has seemingly become the most important thing in his life. She's over the moon that their relationship has gone from strength to strength but right now he's using the five year old as a get out clause.

'Yes you do' She nods but she's scowling and he wants to roll his eyes but he doesn't.

'I don't know what you want me to say?' He looks at her directly. He doesn't know what to make of her expression. He can't read it. There's a lot of things about her that he can't read.

She doesn't know what she wants him to say either.

'I'm sorry' He tries.

But that's not right. That's the last thing she wants him to say.

Her eyes flutter to her feet. She can feel tears burning her eyes and she doesn't want to cry, not in front of him.

He continues 'I'm sorry that I did that to you, I didn't mean for anything like that to happen. I didn't mean to force myself on you or take advantage, it just, it just happened' He rubs the back of his neck and he looks like a teenage boy. Lost and confused. 'You're entitled to hate me or whatever'

Her head shakes back and forth, in outraged disbelief or indifference he's not sure. She doesn't respond. She turns and he hears the front door close after her just moments after.

He doesn't try to stop her, doesn't try and console her.

There's nothing more to say, not that he can see anyway.

'Darling where have you been?' Anna's eyes are curious and knowing all at once as her daughter walks with hasty footsteps through the cozy house.

Peyton's gaze shies away from her mother's questioning stare as though eye contact will answer her question.

Her mother knows her. Her mother knows her all too well, sometimes better than Peyton herself. She instinctively knows when something's wrong, even when not in her daughter's presence. She has this witchy ability and although sometimes grateful, sometimes there are things that Peyton would rather keep private. This is one of those times.

'I told you. I was going to speak to Lucas' She walks through her childhood home, searching out what she's come for.

'Yes. But you've been gone for sometime' Anna pries. 'I hope you weren't too hard on him Peyton' Her statement makes the blonde stop in her tracks. She spins around and looks at her mother for the first time since entering the house and Anna knows. Anna knows instantly that something's upset her baby girl. It doesn't take a genius. The bloodshot eyes are a give away.

'He hit someone Mother. He hit someone at work and you hope I wasn't too hard on him?' Her arms flail amidst her outrage. 'This is the man that is meant to be looking after Jamie'

'Yes' Anna nods, her face still of frustrating tranquillity. 'But since your father's been home, he filled me in properly. It seems he was defending you sweetheart'

Peyton's defiant gaze is quick to transcend into one of utter mortification.

Her mother knows. Her father knows.

Larry Sawyer is standing in the doorway to the living room and she wants to die because they both know. She doesn't want them to know that she slept with one of his staff at a Christmas Party and more than anything she's pissed that Lucas had the nerve to divulge something so private to her father, to her parents.

She stalks into the living room and leans against the fireplace. The heat from the dying fire warms her cold form.

'Lucas told you that?' She grinds out, teeth gritted.

'No' Larry answers. 'He wouldn't tell me anything about the fight. It was some other staff that came forward after and gave me details of what went on'

She pushes her tongue to the roof of her mouth.

He didn't tell. The anger thats bubbling furiously beneath the surface doesn't subside though. She's mad at Lucas. So very, very mad.

'I can't say under any circumstance do I condone fighting, you know that Peyton, but I feel as though I can turn a blind eye this one time for I'd quite like to throw a punch at that creep too' Larry's voice is gentle as always but there is a dark tone that she is not use to hearing.

She wants the floor to swallow her up and take her away to anywhere but here. She stares at the photos lining the mantel shelf. They're mostly all of herself through the years. Newborn. First steps. First day of school. Graduation. Her eyes fixate on one of the three of them. Her family. They were on holiday. They're on a beach. Larry is holding her. She's six years old and the world was so simple then. She wants to go back to that time.

Her mothers hand touches her shoulder but she shrugs it away.

'Where's Jamie?' She blurts, desperate to just speed right past this horrible moment and never address it again.

'Darling' Anna tries but Peyton's already shaking her head.

'I came to get Jamie- where is he?'

Larry reluctantly gestures to the sofa on the far side of the room and her eyes find the child's curled up little figure.

He's asleep. So innocent, so young.

'Darling why don't you stay here tonight. We can set Jamie up in the guest room and-'

'Lucas is expecting Jamie back. Not tonight Mum' Not allowing her mother to persuade her otherwise, she crosses the room and gently picks up the sleeping child. Jamie stirs but doesn't wake. His little limbs curl around her, head resting comfortably on her shoulder. 'Thank you for looking after him' She walks to the doorway.

Neither Larry or Anna allow her to leave without a kiss to her forehead. They tell her they love her and to drive safely.

She nods meekly and then she leaves feeling even worse than she had before arriving.

He hears her car pull into the drive.

He hopes she'll have calmed down in the last forty minutes.

He opens the door to her. 'Hey'

She doesn't answer. She's not calmed down.

Jamie is in her arms and she kisses his forehead before awkwardly handing him over. He stirs and moans unhappily into Lucas' shoulder. He's tired and doesn't enjoy this pass the parcel game. Peyton rubs his back and shushes him back into slumber.

Lucas stares, uncertain as to what is to be said. 'Peyton-'

'I think I must've left his school bag at Mum and Dad's' She cuts him off, her head forward, shielded by her hair.

The change in her is mind boggling to him. She's avoiding looking directly at him.

'But I'll go get it tomorrow morning after you've dropped him off'

'That's fine' He nods. He doesn't know what to say. Whilst he understands that she's lived a different life and thinks a different way, he finds it hard to relate to what she could possibly be feeling right now. Sex is just an act to him. Nothing more and yet their earlier activities seem to have sent her into a flustered state.

'I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about this' Her hand wavers between them. 'It was a mistake'

He's not surprised. Of course it was a mistake. She's made that much clear. Maybe thats why she's insisting upon being so difficult. She's embarrassed and ashamed.

'Sure' He agrees easily.

'Well. I'll see you tomorrow morning then'

She kisses Jamie's head once more and Lucas inhales her perfume at her close proximity.

It lingers in the air as he watches her walk back down the path.

A mistake. A mistake was generally an error in actions. It was something you learnt from and endeavoured never to do again. However Lucas didn't want to prevent this mistake from occurring again. He wanted very much to make this same mistake again and again. Even if the result was a very pissed and flustered Peyton Sawyer.

Days pass.

They revert to how they'd communicated before hand. Meaning they don't unless necessary. It's not ideal but they make it work. They have to. For Jamie.

Jamie is none the wiser. Jamie is relatively happy.

He picks him up from her place one day after work.

When she lets him in the little boy's head doesn't peep round her leg to greet him as he was accustomed to these days.

'He's asleep' Peyton explains.

'Right. He didn't go to sleep until nearly 2am and then got up ridiculously early this morning' Lucas relays the probable reasoning behind Jamie's tiredness. 'I thought we'd gotten past the whole afraid of the dark thing'.

She nods. 'He'll get over it in time' and then an uneasy silence envelopes them.

They're both replaying what transpired between them several nights ago now.

Visions of glistening naked limbs dance across their visions. Moans and groans sound in their ears.

He watches as a rosy tint creeps it's way up her cheeks and he just knows she's reliving what he is.

He's not been able to stop himself from reciting it for the last one hundred and sixty eight hours. It's driving him to insanity.

Her suddenly heated cheeks urge her to turn away from him before she's humiliated any further. He didn't want her. He'd made that much clear and now she was showing him that despite his rejection, she was still very much under his power.

'Peyton' He grabs her arm, stopping her retreating form. He feels bad. He knows he was an ass to her. He's come to realise that much. He knows he hurt her and the thing is he only dismissed her like that and did what he did because he wanted to avoid hurting her because that's what he did. It was the story of his life. He let people down. He upset people on a daily basis. He was selfish and she deserved better than that.

He's about to apologise.

The two little words are on the tip of the tongue. He doesn't think he's ever said I'm sorry to anyone asides from her. It's becoming quite frequently used in her presence. He briefly wonders why. He's never said it to anyone before now, was it really the time to start? Only her expectant watery eyes of green have the three syllables tumbling from his mouth without a second thought.

'I'm sorry'

He's not quite sure when he tugged her so close but his hands are holding her hips to him tightly and he has no plans to let go.

'I should get Jamie's things togeth-'

He doesn't let her finish. He kisses her hard.

She doesn't have time to react. She's pushed against the wall and his lips are assaulting hers and all she can think is that she's terribly confused by his hot and cold behaviour and then she's not thinking at all because despite her frustration and anger and dejection, he's pretty great at this and she really just can't function when his tongue is moving across hers and his hands are trailing up her sides seeking out more and right now she's willing to give him whatever he wants.

Her dress is shoved up. Her leg is pulled up around his waist and he's pressed so hard against her that she thinks the wall behind her may crumble.

He grunts and then his hand is between them unbuckling his belt and unzipping his flies.

His movements are so haphazard and desperate that her mind can barely catch up.

It does though. As he's trying to tug her tights and panties out of the way.

'No' She pushes him away hastily and he stumbles back, pants gaping open. 'I'm not doing this' She answers his raised brow. 'I'm not going to be your play thing. I'm not. I'm not that girl' She straightens her crumpled dress out.

Jamie is asleep just a door down the hall. She's ashamed of herself for being so weak.

'You're not my play thing' He says a little disgustedly.

She's surprised by his expression and confused because that is exactly what she is.

'What am I then Lucas? What do you call this?'

He doesn't have the answer. He doesn't know. He just wants to have her. Right now. Against the wall. Why does it have to be anything else. Why does it need a label.

Her eyes soften with defeat. She exhales heavily.

'I don't want you to be mad at me' He growls suddenly. He fears by her sad eyes that he's just well and truly ruined everything. 'I...I need your help with Jamie. Jamie and me have got this good thing going and I'm just screwing all that up' He announces, a hand scraping through his hair with confusion.

'You're not screwing anything up and I, I'm not mad' She sighs. 'You were right. We do have Jamie to think about. We should forget what happened. It wasn't a big deal. You're just getting your bearings with having a child around, just getting the hang of being a dad'

'I'm not a Dad'

Her small smile is disagreeing. 'Lucas I know all this has been hard on you, I can't even imagine.' She tries to find the appropriate words. She's had days to think things over. She'd been mad at him at first, it was only natural. She felt used. The more she'd thought the more she realised that perhaps he was the smart one in all of this. What had she thought could realistically come of their coupling. An actual relationship? The idea was almost laughable. She's had days to think about the words they should have spoken before now but it still comes out wrong. 'There's a thousand girls you can go and find to fuck. That's not me though. And for Jamie's sake.' She shakes her head. 'We can't'

He doesn't like the feeling of dejection. But unlike her, he doesn't let it show.

He nods. His face has calmed dramatically 'I know'. That's all he says. Nothing more. Then the subject is changed. 'I'll go wake him up and get him home'