Rio woke up to find herself on a decorated chair. She felt as drowsy and giddy as she did when she fell into that hole in the tree. Could she possibly be finally back home in London, back to her lifeless life of selling unsellable books? She saw herself sitting at the end of a rectangular table, clothed with a shredded white tablecloth. There were plates, bowls, teacups and teapots on the table but no cakes or tea. It looked like those tea parties she used to host as a little girl with her stuffed animals.

"She's woken up!" The Flying Mint Bunny cheered.

"Why are you so happy, Flying Mint Bunny? She's going to kill you and the Mad Hatter! I can't wait to see this!" Pixie giggled.

Rio rubbed her eyes for a clearer vision and immediately recognized that irksome lime green fur and lime green wings and lime green ears. Slowly, she rose from her seat as the creatures cheered and laughed and in one swift movement, she grabbed the bunny with both of her hands and began to strangle it. "You fucking pervert! You took my bra and got me into some stupid hole and now I'm in some expert funhouse called Wonderland!"

"Oh my gosh, this is priceless!" Pixie squealed and then burst into laughter.

"Are you looking for this, my dear?" Rio loosened her grip on the coughing bunny and looked up. There was a familiar blonde man wearing a badly damaged hat. He looked like a magician, if not a hatter. She assumed he was the Mad Hatter, but shouldn't he be running away from the red knights? Her black brassiere appeared in front of him, and flew towards her, the cups fitting exactly on her chest. "Victoria's Secret, C75."

"It's you." Rio said flatly when he showed his face. She thought it was the pirate.

"Oh, you remember me?" He asked hopefully.

"You bet I do!" Rio grabbed a teapot which she thought didn't contain any tea, but felt like it did. It was heavy. She flung it at him, but he dodged it and tea pot landed and broke at a tree, tea spilling all over the trunk and wetting the bark. She grabbed another bowl, and plate and continuously threw them at him, but he managed to dodge them all. "You were that pirate! The red queen's husband! You tried to rape me and because you couldn't, you blamed me for it and almost got me dead!"

"She's as nuts as us!" The Flying Mint Bunny laughed as he followed Rio and began throwing teacups at Pixie.

Kirkland walked towards Rio leisurely and took anything fragile in her hand and put it down on the tea table. "Naughty little girl. Did I say you could meddle with my tea?"

"Oh, then I say you could meddle with my body?" Rio said as she raised her hand to slap him, but he grabbed it. He held her hand with both of his hands, bowed and kissed it gently, but his lips did not stay there as long as Clarkland's.

"I am Arthur Kirkland aka Mad Hatter aka anything you wish you call a fine young magician like me." He said, letting go of Rio's hand. "But I'd prefer it if you called me Kirkland or Mad Hatter instead of Arthur. You must have mistaken me for that hooligan, that tyrant, unoriginal, copying little bastard, scumbag, mediocre-"

"Kirkland!" Pixie said worriedly.

"I'm…alright." Kirkland said as he turned around and beamed. He took Rio's hand gently and led her to a seat at the table next to his. He grabbed an empty teapot and an empty teacup and poured absolutely nothing into it. "Here, have some tea!"

"There's nothing in this cup." Rio said. She turned and saw Flying Mint Bunny and Pixie slurping the drink in delight, although their teacups were empty. Rio put the edge of the cup to her lips and lifted it. To her surprise, her lips were scalded by the hot drink that didn't appear in the teacup. The creatures laughed at her for spilling it all over her dress. Kirkland smiled and poured more in her cup.

"Were you the one who saved me from that creature?" She asked, remembering that she encountered the red queen's pet in her so-called bedroom.

"I suppose, but you blacked out the moment I caught you."

"How? The creature's leash was off and you couldn't possibly…"

"I'm a magician, what do you think?" He grinned and pointed at an empty serving plate. "Would you like some cake?"

"Not if it makes me grow to the size of Big Ben."

"That's usually the consumer's mistake. You took too big of a bite, didn't you?"

"I guess so."

"The red knights!" Flying Mint Bunny squeaked and quickly hid under the teatable. Pixie followed the rabbit and flew under the table. Alerted, Kirkland took a small bottle of the similar liquid Rio saw in that odd lobby and gave it to her.

"Quick, drink this."

Rio took the bottle. "All of it?"

"Yes, all of it! Quickly!"

Rio drunk it and soon her body was a size smaller than Pixie. Kirkland grabbed her and put her into his pocket. He hid under the table and soon the trio of lunatics of Wonderland was out of sight. The red knights searched the whole tea party, but could not find them. They did not even bother to look under the table as they were truly brainless without Arthur Clarkland leading them. They were just moving and talking poker cards carrying heart spears around without their leader or general. Soon, they were gone and the trio were able to come out from under the table.

"Are they after you?" Rio asked.

"I think they're after both of us." He took Rio out of his pocket and gave her the growing cake. She was soon normal-sized. "The red queen is doing all this."

"What does she want with me?" Rio demanded indignantly. "Didn't she already try to kill me because her husband tried to take advantage of me? What did I do to her?"

"She's been trying to kill you ever since you came to Wonderland, when you were thirteen years old."

"This is the first time I've been or ever heard of a place called Wonderland."

"You were thirteen years old. You came here because you fell into the hole out of curiosity of chasing Flying Mint Bunny. You did have some fun in Wonderland before the red queen found out you were fairer than her and therefore a threat to her throne."

"What does her throne have anything to do with being fair?"

"If her people find out she is not the fairest, they will no longer obey or follow her. She is trying to get rid of you. But she probably didn't know you were you when you were staying in her palace, thankfully. You are the White Witch of Wonderland."

"No I'm not!" Rio said, shaking. She rose and slammed the table. "I'm just a lifeless woman living in the city of London. I'm not part of this! I'm not the fairest of them all, or the White Witch of Wonderland!"

"Then how were you able to see Flying Mint Bunny when it went to your home? How were you able to see me?"

"If I really am, then how come I have no memory of Wonderland or you or the magical creatures?"

"Ten years ago, I was a hatter in the white palace and you were happily the White Witch of Wonderland. You went to look for the red queen with my help because you wanted to go home. You accidentally blurted out the power of the Axis clan of cats, the clan of cats living with the white queen. Because of this, the red queen was jealous and wanted to wipe out the entire clan. Because I tried to save the poor little felines, the red queen took it as the white queen's offence. The white queen had no choice but to declare war. You were exiled, while I was supposed to be executed but Ivan, an evaporating cat, saved my life. The white queen knew, but banned me from her palace because of what I did."

"Is that another reason why the red queen wants me dead?"

"And me, dead, too. But you're her first target."

"Then why did you bring me to Wonderland? I would be safe in my place and you would-"

"I'm supposed to take you back home, but that would endanger the entire Wonderland."

"What? Why?"

"The war had lasted for ten years and the people have had enough of living with two queens who can't work together. I mean the red queen because she's just that bloody stubborn. The two queens will soon seek battle, each with a champion one-on-one. The white queen was planning on fighting herself, but it's impossible for her to beat the red queen's champion."

"And that is…?"

"Arthur Clarkland, her husband. He's not just a pirate, he's the type who can heal instantly from a blade wound, resurrect the dead including himself and his vessel, though non-living, can be more monstrous his own wife when he's controlling it."

"Well, I wouldn't mind beating the shit out of him. But I'm not the champion, am I?"

Kirkland was silent. His face was straight.

"But I'm worse than the white queen! I can't even hurt a fly!"

"Which is why I'm going to train you secretly. You are the White Witch. How hard could it be for you to get your powers back?"

Rio crossed her arms. "No. I'd prefer it if you took me home."

"If you go home, who's going to save Wonderland?"

Rio pondered about it for a moment. "You! You're a magician! And since you said you were going to train me, you're probably better than me!"

"I wish." Kirkland snorted. "I'm lucky to be alive. I wouldn't dare ask the white queen for a chance like that."

"Why not."

He didn't answer. He just said, "Let me take you home now."

"Really? That's all it took?" Rio asked, surprised.

"Yes." Kirkland rose and held out his hand. Rio took it, but she was still suspicious. What if he was mad that she didn't want to be the white queen's champion that he decided to poison her to send her straight to battle? She could already imagine herself standing all clueless in front of the white queen and an army of her knights and the perverted smirk on Clarkland's face.

They headed towards a hole near a tree not far from the tea table. It looked exactly like the hole that Rio fell into. She couldn't believe she was finally going home. She had never missed her lifeless life this much. "We're here. Jump in."

Kirkland's face looked straight, neither sad nor angry.

"You're not going to miss me, are you?" Rio asked as she studied Kirkland's face more carefully.

"Well I would definitely cry if you were really leaving."

"Wait, wha-" Rio was cut off with a yelp when Kirkland swiftly put a hand on her waist and pushed her into the hole.

XXX

Anna had just finished her bath and in her nightgown, she went to her bedroom balcony to rest. It was a coincidence that her bedroom was directly opposite the red river of heads. She never bothered to clean the blood from their chopped necks after they were executed. She sat there, staring at the lifeless heads as she thought about the execution of Torisa. It was the first time she used her pet for execution and no matter how serious others' offences were, she always did it the normal way and chopped off their heads. She would not even put her sister in that room if she had the chance. To her, seducing her husband was the most serious offence, more serious than going against her and trying to steal her throne.

She pondered about what her governess and Clarkland had said to her. They all insisted that Torisa was harassing Clarkland, but she had doubts for the first time. Clarkland left home often, either over orders or to his ship. Throughout their whole marriage, he has never slept in the same bed as Anna. Having a child would be delightful, but as much as everyone thought the child would be badly bred, as long as the child belonged to Anna and her husband, she would definitely treat it well.

The more she thought about it, she realized even if Clarkland really did try to cheat on her by seducing Torisa himself, she wouldn't take his head off or exile him or ill-treat him.

Feeling insecure, she called for him before he trailed away to his ship.

"Anna? Did you call for me?" Clarkland said as he entered his wife's room which was technically supposed to be his room too.

"Arthur."

"What is it? Are you unwell? Do you need something?"

"No, I'm not." Anna said as she smiled at her husband. "Could you just stay for tonight?"

"Of course."

Anna frowned. "I mean, you don't want to go back to your ship?"

"Why would I?"

"Are you taking this as an order, Arthur?"

"Isn't it?"

"Why would a wife order her husband to come to bed with her?" She sighed. "Or does he want to come to bed with another woman?"

He gulped, but there was no guilt in his face. "Is this about that prisoner you took in?"

"You would know."

"I can't believe you actually think I would ever leave you!" He chuckled, much to his wife's shock. "Is that why you put her with your pet?"

"What you said. What my governess said. What she did made me hate her. And surprisingly, even for me, I hate someone more than my sister, even if she's just a peasant." She said as she leaned on her husband's shoulder. "You know, I did see a bit of sorrow in your face."

"Just as much sorrow as any other person who gets executed. Do you ever see me smile at executions?"

"True, but when I saw your reaction, I was just-"

"Shush." He said hotly. He rose and led his wife to bed, but he didn't tuck himself in next to her. Anna loved that he was so unpredictable, but it scared her sometimes. Sometimes the most predictable can be the unpredictable, but what she predicted could not possibly be the most predictable.

"Won't you get in too?" Anna asked, as she sat up, occasionally blinking at the door where Clarkland would leave when she falls asleep.

He simply shook his head and kissed her gently on the forehead. He continued at it on her lips, followed by another. "I have to go now."

"I thought you'd stay." Anna said as she looked like she was about to cry, which she rarely did.

He stayed in his position, sitting by the side of Anna's bed. He kissed her again, it was long, gentle but he felt no passion in it although Anna did. One hand on her shoulder, he swiftly moved her sleeve down and removed her nightgown as she unbuttoned his shirt. His kisses moved down her neck, to her shoulder as he climbed onto the bed and topped his wife. It was Anna's dream and definitely pleasurable for Clarkland as Anna was not just a young virgin, but a pretty one too. It was the most normal thing to do consummate a marriage, but there could not be considered as making love.