These back steps are steeper to the ground

The brightest stars are falling down

I'm walking the edge, walking the tightest rope

We can be frank, reality rips on through, rolling like a hurricane

I'm over the bridge and under the rain

If everything's falling, if everything's changed

If I'm in the open, if I'm in the way

"Crashing Down"

-Mat Kearney

Chapter 39:

At least things can't get any worse...

It was very melancholy outside of the Cullen's house. With just Edward, Jacob, and Bella chatting inside, the mansion was more quiet than usual. They were taking turns cradling Nessie, who knew exactly what was going on. Jacob had assured her that everything was going to be okay.

Poor Nessie, Seth sighed. She thinks it's her fault.

Technically, it was her fault. But I wasn't going to say that out loud. It's not like she asked to be born into her dysfunctional family.

You think we'll make it out of this alive? Embry questioned.

Hard to say, I shrugged. Of course we weren't. I might not trust Alice as much as the others, but I knew enough to know that if she was running away, this was not going to go well.

You don't think we'll survive, do you? Embry frowned.

I sighed and then shook my head. I wish I could be more optimistic, but I mean, look at what we're going to be faced with. Alice left…

Just because Alice took off doesn't mean she isn't working on some kind of plan, Seth piped in.

And what would that plan be, Seth? I grumbled. Leave her family completely clueless?

Quil forced out a hard laugh, They're vampires. They were already clueless.

Clueless or not, we're in this with them, I reminded Quil. Which is just going to rack up the body count.

So then, you're pretty sure we won't live? Embry questioned.

I just nodded. But just because I believed that, it didn't mean I was going to fight with less enthusiasm. Maybe I would get lucky and take a few of the leeches out with me when I died.

I'd say it's a strong possibility that we could bite the dust.

How'd you like to make a little wager on that? He seemed rather enthusiastic about betting on the outcome of this fight.

Uh, sure. I knew that I would probably win it anyway, so I wasn't worried about having to pay up in the event that Embry might be right.

Okay. If we survive, you have to go cliff-diving with me.

Well, that was brilliant. Go from one deadly situation to another. I might as well just jump off of the cliff now to save myself the trouble. It was an odd request to say the least.

Why? What's the catch?

No catch, Embry said. It's just something that I know you would enjoy.

Actually, I'd always found the premise of cliff-diving to be stupid and reckless. I had never partaken in the idiotic ritual. And it's not something that I ever cared to do. Why would Embry think that I would like it?

We might die in battle in a few weeks, and the best wager you can come up with is cliff-diving! I was curious. Come on, I mean, at least make me run around the neighborhood in my underwear or something. That's a bet.

You would probably do that without someone having to dare you, Seth mumbled under his breath.

Well, Seth had a point. I spent most of my time running around in less than my underwear.

You don't have to understand it. Either you'll do it, or you won't, Embry shrugged.

I looked at him curiously. What was he planning? I tried to read deeper into his thoughts, but there was nothing out of the ordinary on his mind, except for some weird reason, a Bette Midler song…

I laughed. Bette Midler? Seriously? Well, I couldn't say much, I was dating the Midler fan.

Okay, I paused, But if we die, you'll have to listen to me tell you "I told you so" for eternity, I joked.

Fair enough.

I'm totally gonna win that bet, I grinned slyly.

Dream on. Embry seemed confident that we would survive. Truthfully, I wish I could have the positive outlook on this situation that he had.

We teased each other for a few more minutes.

We were interrupted when something in the atmosphere changed. We immediately turned our attention to the fact that Jake was a wolf now. He was pacing around from inside the mansion,

Hey, look who's decided to rejoin our ranks. Quil called attention to the fact that Jake had phased. Who let the dogs out?

Yeah, because that was so hilarious the first two thousand times I heard it. Jacob rolled his eyes.

What's going on? I questioned. Is there something wrong?

Everything okay in there? Quil added to my insecurity.

Everything's fine. I just figured I'd let you know what's going on, Jacob explained.

Let me catch you up to speed: We're screwed. The end, I interrupted him.

Jacob ignored me, They're taking Nessie home to get a good night's sleep.

Oh yeah, I forgot about their cottage, Seth nodded.

I could hear him mentally kicking himself for not getting them a housewarming gift. I scoffed, what would you buy a leech to put in their house? A lava-lamp filled with blood? I chuckled at my own thought. Edward and Bella would have to be complete stoners to appreciate that kind of gift, "Oh, it's so...glowy...and it smells so good..."

Jacob interrupted my thoughts, I'm sure you're all pretty worn out. Why don't you just go home and get some rest? he suggested.

You don't have to tell me twice. Quil raced towards La Push. I could see thoughts of his nice comfortable bed in his mind. There was a picture of Claire playing on a swing set on his dresser.

Seth wasn't too far behind. Take it easy, man. Howl if you need us.

I'm fine. Not tired at all, I shrugged.

Still, go home anyway. Being well-rested for what's to come is very important. Jacob sounded unsure as he spoke. I had a feeling that he was trying to hide something from us.

Before I got a chance to ask him what was on his mind, I heard Nessie whimper from inside. Jacob immediately phased back, worried that something was wrong. I peered into the window and watched Jacob fly over to Nessie to comfort her. Apparently, she was upset over Alice's departure. She didn't understand any of this. I sighed. Though her age advancements put her mental capacity somewhere near, oh, middle-aged, she was still so little. I forgot how young she was sometimes. She didn't know how grim the future really was for all of us.

I watched Bella cradle her daughter. Bella didn't look like she was holding it together very well, but she was trying not to show her emotions in front of Nessie. Edward and Jacob both told Nessie not to worry; that things would be okay, and that Alice would come back. Nessie wasn't stupid. She was going to see through that lie.

"In the mean-time, we've got a lot of visitors coming to see you." Edward smiled to try and hide his fear from his daughter. He was better at hiding his emotions than Bella.

You coming, Leah? Embry asked, interrupting my train of thought.

Jacob had told us all to phase and go home. But me, being me, I didn't really want to listen to him. I wanted to stick around in case drama ensued.

I think I'm just going to hang out here for a little while.

Jacob's gonna get mad that you didn't listen to him. Seth was sure.

So I'll let him yell at me. It's still better than watching Charlie and mom drooling all over one another.

I heard Seth moan. He wasn't looking forward to that either.

You can come over to my house, Embry offered.

Oh, I'm sure that will go over really well with your mother. Aren't you already in enough trouble?

She can't tell me what to do, Embry shrugged.

I laughed. He sounded like a two-year-old.

No, you go ahead. Your mother already thinks I'm a bad influence. Me staying the night in your room is only going to prove her right. I shook my head.

Embry glanced at me suggestively, Maybe I want you to be a bad influence on me.

Go home, loser, I laughed.

Okay, but just know…the offer stands. Embry started his run home.

It was just a short time later that I felt them phase out one by one. I wondered how long it would be before Jacob phased back and saw that I was still here. I could tell that Bella and Edward were getting ready to leave. Jacob leaned in towards Nessie, who was sound asleep in her mother's arms, and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"You don't have to stay, you know," Bella said.

"Are you kidding? I couldn't leave her if I tried." Jacob shook his head.

"I just feel bad that you never spend any time with your own family anymore," Bella frowned.

"Paul and my sister are boinking, and my dad is eternally pissed that I imprinted on Nessie," Jacob said. "Trust me, spending time with the three of you is better than what I have waiting at home."

"We really do appreciate your loyalty," Edward nodded.

"Sure, sure." Jacob glanced at Nessie again. "I'm going to hang out on four legs for a while."

And two seconds later, he saw that I was still outside.

What are you still doing here? I thought you'd be glad to get off of the Cullen's property for a while. He was obviously puzzled.

I still have a lot of energy left. I figured I would help you run for a little bit longer, I shrugged.

You're so baffling sometimes, Leah. He shook his head. He sighed, Take the east.

I ran towards the east. I stayed quiet for most of the run. I watched through Jacob's eyes as Edward, Bella, and Nessie disappeared into their cottage. He ran a few miles out to give them their privacy, and then found a tree to rest under.

Hey, Leah?

What?

Thank you.

For what? I wasn't sure what I had done to warrant any thanks.

For everything, Jacob said. Considering you really don't like the Cullens, you sure are doing a hell of a lot to protect them.

Eh, I shrugged. They're not so bad. Besides, you love Nessie. I'm part of your pack, and like it or not, I've got to love her, too.

Have you talked to Sam yet? Jacob questioned. The sudden change in topic caught me off guard. I slowed my run to a trot.

Don't really want to, I frowned.

It's important that you do, Jacob sighed.

Why? So I can torture myself? I don't get off on spending time with the person who hurt me the most. I tried my hardest to not say "I'm not you…" I wasn't about to do what Jacob did for Bella when she was pregnant.

Don't do it for yourself, Jacob suggested.

What did he mean? I tried to decipher his thoughts. They were all gibberish about Nessie.

Why do you want me to do this so badly?

I just think you should. That's all I'm saying. Jacob laid his head down.

I could feel how tired he was. And he probably wasn't in the mood to argue either, so I just told him what he wanted to hear.

I'll think about it.

Good. A few minutes later he drifted off to sleep. I still had the feeling he was keeping something from me. But I was too focused on running to worry about that now. I got back into a nice little rhythm as the hours passed.

The only thing I could think about was what Jacob had said before he drifted off to sleep. Don't do it for yourself. Why else would I talk to Sam? It didn't take me long to realize what he'd meant by that. I did need to see Sam, but not to fulfill a need for myself. I had to talk to him so we could truly let each other go. I think we were both still holding on to one another, and that wasn't a healthy thing to do. We had other people in our lives depending on us. We had never sat down and discussed our situation, mostly because I was too hateful most of the time to listen to him. All I could see in him was the man who left me for my cousin. But now, maybe enough time had passed that I could see him without calling him a dickhead and throwing things at him.

I wrestled with my thoughts about going to see Sam all night, and decided that the next time I was back in La Push, I would go see him. I grunted. I really didn't want to talk to him. Maybe I would just have to stay out here on the Cullen's land for the rest of my life.

Before I knew it, I felt Jacob being startled awake by Edward and Bella making their way back to the mansion.

You been running all night? Jake was impressed when he saw that I was still awake.

Damn straight, I smiled. I just hope that Seth told mom that I'm okay.

At the rate I was going, I could run for another two days. I still wasn't tired. There was too much going through my mind for me to want to sleep. Embry and his odd cliff-diving request. Jacob pleading with me to talk to Sam. The battle that was coming in which we were all going to get slaughtered…

Jacob saw Edward and Bella coming through the clearing. Bella was cuddling Nessie, as always.

You've done enough. Go home. Jacob stiffened up as he started to run with Edward and Bella.

The more he told me to do that, the less I actually wanted to do it. I just changed my direction and headed to the Cullen's place.

"Morning, Jake." Bella nodded politely at him.

Hey Bells. He nodded back to acknowledge her. Eddie. He chuckled under his breath. I laughed too.

"Do not call me that." Edward curled up his lip.

Oh, sweet! This was something I could use to bother him. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Eddie-bo-beddie, Eddie-spaghetti.

"Leah's still around?" Edward asked Jacob after hearing my thoughts.

Considering I had been running the property all night, I was surprised that Edward hadn't realized I was still here.

"She ran all night," Edward explained to Bella, who was looking at him in confusion.

Stay inside your own mind, leech, I grumbled. It was incredibly intrusive of Edward to always be in my head. It was really annoying. He should knock first or something.

"Knock, knock," Edward said sarcastically.

Okay, I had to give him that one. That was funny.

"What if they smell her before reaching the house?" Bella started to panic about me being around for some reason. What if who smelled me? This must be what Jacob had been keeping from me last night.

"Can't you tell her to leave?" Edward suggested.

You can't "tell" Leah what to do, Jacob responded to Edward in thought.

Well, you could. Didn't mean I would listen.

I guess that Jacob could see that I wasn't heading back to La Push. He was annoyed that I was running towards the mansion with them.

Leah, I thought I told you to go home, he grumbled.

You did.

Then why are you still here?

I just shrugged, I have no life.

So, you're just completely ignoring me now?

I purposefully took a moment to pause before I responded, Wait, what did you just say? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

Hilarious. He rolled his eyes.

I thought so.

Well, if you insist on staying, then you should know that Tanya's family is almost here. Ah ha, so the first of the vampire's little friends was arriving today. Jacob was probably worried about how I would react. I was going to show him that I could be an adult about this.

Wonderful. I'll find a drifter to kill and we can all do lunch. Okay, so much for me being mature.

Jacob rolled his eyes. Just keep a wide range from the house. I don't want them to catch your scent and run off.

Are you calling me smelly? I asked sarcastically. Real mature, Mr. Alpha.

You know what I mean.

You could use a shower yourself, big boy. After a minute, I became serious again. I'll be good, Jake. I promise. Just don't make me go home.

Why not? He pressed for more information.

I just grunted. I didn't want to go into details. But, I knew that in order for me to move forward with Embry, I was going to have to bite the bullet and see Sam. There was a lot of stuff I still needed to say to him. "You broke my heart, you son of a bitch" came to mind.

Just let me hang out for a little while longer, I begged.

Jacob glanced at Edward to see if it was okay. Psh, I didn't need the bloodsucker's permission.

"Fine," Edward nodded at Jacob. "But tell her to keep her distance."

Already done, I slowed my pace. I was close enough to the house to see anything that was going on indoors, but far enough away that the vampires probably wouldn't smell me.

I kept quiet as I listened to Bella trying to convince Edward she could fight now. She wasn't some fragile little human anymore. But Edward wasn't having any of her crap today. He decided to be an overprotective jerk, like always.

Bella continued to nag him until he finally gave in, promising that he would teach her how to fight. He didn't seem happy about it. His unhappiness pleased me.

Edward went into detail about certain members of the Volturi. Guess he figured Bella should know more about them if she was going to fight.

He spoke about a creepy little vampire named Jane who could burn you where you stood. I saw Edward cringe when he mentioned her. I guessed that Jane had used her gift on him at some point in his life.

Then he talked about Jane's equally creepy other half, Alec. He was kind of an anesthesiologist, but not in the way that Jasper had been. Apparently, this Alec character made you feel nothing at all. That didn't seem so terrible. There were a few days when I wished I couldn't feel my feelings anymore. And, of course, I had been the reckless idiot who drank my sorrows away. I shook my head. I learned rather quickly that alcohol does not help. One minute, you're searching for the answer to your problems at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, and the next, you're naked in a cornfield running from a maniac with a gun.

I perked up when I heard Edward mention that one of the vampires coming today had once been in line with the Volturi. Jacob growled when Edward mentioned it. I was surprised when Bella hissed in agreement with him.

Edward assured them both, "Eleazar is a very gentle person. He wasn't entirely happy with the Volturi, but he respected the law and its need to be upheld."

Okay, bored now. I yawned as Edward continued to talk about the Denali clan and Eleazar's involvement in the Volturi. As long as he wasn't still involved with them, I didn't care.

A few minutes later, they were at the house. I watched them awkwardly try to figure out the easiest way to set things up. Jacob decided to phase and confront them as human. Bella disappeared into the dining room with Nessie. Jacob insisted that she hold Nessie in case he needed to phase in order to protect them. Nessie whimpered uncomfortably. She was worried they wouldn't like her.

I turned my attention to a screeching noise that I heard. I saw a car flying down the road. From the erratic way they were driving, I had to assume that it was the Denali clan. As the car pulled up the Cullen's driveway, I leaned forward to watch.

Things were about to get really interesting.