The fruits of love grow all around

But for me they come a tumblin' down

Every day heartaches grow a little stronger

I can't stand this pain much longer

I walk in shadows, searching for light

Cold and alone, no comfort in sight

Hoping and praying for someone to care

Always moving and going nowhere

What becomes of the broken hearted?

Who had love that's now departed?

I know I've got to find

Some kind of peace of mind

Maybe

"What becomes of the brokenhearted"

-Jimmy Ruffin

Chapter 41:

Crap, I suck at thinking on my feet

The first thing I did when I got home was take a shower. I still needed some time to process all of this information. As I finished towel drying my hair, I slipped into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Now that I had thought about it, I don't think I'd eaten anything in the past 24 hours. I was starved. I threw some meatloaf that I'd found in the fridge into the microwave and then started to scarf it down.

Seth wandered into the kitchen and waved happily at me. How did he manage to be so cheerful all of the damn time? There were times I wondered if he was a pod-person. We just didn't act like we had been born into the same family. I used to make him mad when we were little by telling him that he was adopted. He usually just stuck his tongue out at me and told me that I was just jealous because mom and dad loved him more. Sometimes I thought that was true.

"Everything going okay at the Cullen's?" Seth grabbed a Root Beer from the refrigerator.

"Like a dream," I said sarcastically. "Apparently the Cullens are sending every vampire they've ever met here to town."

"Yeah, Sam told us this morning. Jacob asked him to tell us about it. We figured you already knew since you stayed out as a wolf." I saw him raise his eyebrows in curiosity. "Is it really true they're staying at the mansion? That's just really close to La Push…"

"Yep. The first batch arrived earlier today. I think you met them at the wedding. The Denali clan."

"The ones from Alaska?" Seth recalled the wedding. I took a moment to think about how long ago that had been. Time had really flown by.

"They're one big happy family." I rolled my eyes. "Eleazar seems a lot like Edward." I frowned at having another overprotective, cautious vampire in town. "Tanya's a little snotty, but since she's going to stay and help out, I can look past that. I don't know about Carmen yet. She doesn't seem like she's afraid of much. And, I quite like Kate. She's got balls. She used her electrical current to shock Bella, or at least tried to." I paused, and then laughed jokingly. "Maybe I should ask her to be my new best friend." I took a big bite of the meatloaf.

Seth glanced at my plate and curled up his nose. "You do realize that that's two weeks old?"

That sounded weird coming from him.

"Seth, we eat raw meat half the time." I pointed out the fact that when we were wolves, we didn't have the luxury of a stove or a microwave to warm up our dead deer.

"True, but when we're wolves, we don't go back to a carcass two weeks later and start munching on the maggots crawling on the remains." Only Seth and I could have this conversation without throwing up all over the place. Any regular person would have vomited at the word "maggot". "You could get like…botulism or something."

I just shrugged. It tasted fine. And if I was poisoned by the meat, it wouldn't matter since we were facing a battle in a few weeks.

"We're going to die anyway."

"You might wanna keep all that talk down. We've got company." He glanced into the living room. He explained, "Charlie, Billy, and mom are watching a movie."

"What kind of movie?"

"Some really crappy suspense one. It's the only one they could all agree on. Billy wanted an action flick, but Charlie wanted something funny. Mom suggested a romantic comedy, but that idea was shot down pretty quickly by both guys."

I snorted out a laugh as I thought about the looks on both Charlie's and Billy's faces when my mother had suggested that they watch Love, Actually or some other movie oozing with relationships and love.

"So I take it that everyone is back on speaking terms?" I glanced into the living room where the adults were laughing and chatting happily.

"For the time being," Seth nodded. He noticed my change in attire. "Where are you heading?"

"I just have some business to take care of."

He scoffed, "Business? What are you, in the mafia now?"

I gave him a wink and then a serious face. "Just don't piss me off, and you've got nothing to worry about."

"Well then, I'm screwed," Seth joked. "Is there a day that goes by that I don't make you angry?"

"There was one day. It was a Saturday in June." I grinned as I finished my meatloaf.

Seth walked out of the kitchen around the same time that my mother walked in. Her face lit up when she saw me. I guess I really hadn't been around much lately.

She grabbed a bag of popcorn and opened the microwave. I stayed quiet as I washed the container that my bad meat had been in.

"When did you get in?" she questioned.

"Oh, about half past insanity." I really wasn't certain what time I had actually gotten in. I went straight to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. "I'm surprised that you didn't hear me screaming obscenities at the cold water."

"Oh, well, before Billy got here, Charlie and I were…" She stopped her statement mid-sentence and then had a look of embarrassment on her face.

You didn't have to be a genius to figure out where she was going with that sentence. I cringed up my nose a little at the thought.

"You two were "playing board games" again, huh?" I smirked a little.

"Actually, we were mostly talking."

Okay, so Charlie was chatty during sex. Something else I could have gone my entire life without knowing. I swear, I knew more about Charlie now than his own daughter.

"Thanks for the visual." I nearly threw up the meatloaf I had just inhaled.

My mom rolled her eyes at my dramatics. "He got a call from Bella early this morning that upset him."

"Talking to Bella would upset me, too," I shrugged.

"He was supposed to go see Bella and Nessie today, but she canceled on him with no excuse." She looked at me carefully. She was probably trying to read my body language to see what was going on. "Any idea why that is?"

"Because she's a flake?" That's not something that I had to come up with, because it was true.

"She told him that it might be a while before he could come over again."

"I don't know what to tell you." I really didn't. She'd flip her shit if she knew the reason that Bella didn't want her dad over at the mansion. Bella may be a moron, but the move was incredibly smart on her part. Sticking Charlie in a house full of hungry vampires wasn't exactly smart, Hey guys, this is my dad. Dad, meet the monsters. Hey, you with the crazy eyes, stop chewing on my father's arm…

"Well, if you see her, tell her that her father is upset by her actions," she frowned.

Yeah, like that would matter to her. Like she would give a rats ass. Bella had never considered her father's feelings, why would she start now?

"Sure thing." I lied. No way I would be chatty with Bella.

My mom looked at me cautiously again. I tried to fake a smile. I didn't want her to worry about the impending doom that her children were facing. I guess Bella and I were in the same boat there. We both wanted to protect our parents. I glanced into the living room and saw Charlie mindlessly watching a fight scene in the movie. He scooped the last handful of what I had to assume to be the first bag of popcorn into his mouth.

I sighed. At least they had each other. When all was said and done, when all of us were torn to pieces by the Volturi, I could die knowing that my mother and Charlie wouldn't be alone.

But I hated that we were going to put them through this. We were going to hurt them so much. My mom had already been through so much. And Seth and I were only going to cause her more grief. It made me really angry. I could feel my hands vibrating and I tried to suppress the anger. I had to play it cool, so my mother wouldn't suspect anything. I should have known that she would see right through my façade.

"You sure everything is okay?" she questioned. "You and your brother are acting odd."

"We're your kids." I teased her a little. "I thought you'd be concerned if we were acting normal."

She didn't laugh. "You know you two can talk to me about anything."

Yeah, and that was the problem. Our entire lives, my brother and I had never had an issue that we couldn't talk to our parents about. I had always felt comfortable going to my mother with just about anything. But not this. How do you tell your mother, the woman who gave birth to you, that you were going to die? Especially knowing that she'd already lost the love of her life?

My dad's death had been so sudden. We knew he was sick, but we still didn't expect him to go out like that. It was horrible for our entire family, but it was excruciating for my mom. I just couldn't bear to see that look on her face when she lost us. It was selfish on my part, but I didn't want to tell her about this because I didn't want to have to deal with her pain.

"I know. And I'd talk to you if there was something to say," I frowned.

"What's wrong?" She wasn't going to give up.

Her persistence was making me uncomfortable. I had a hard time keeping things from her. I didn't like to lie. But I certainly couldn't say, Hey, mom, we're out of milk. Oh, and by the way, Seth and I are going to die in a few weeks.

I drew in a deep breath. What could I say to get her off my case? I thought of the one thing that would probably send any mother into a state of shock, and couldn't help but grin a little at the ludicrousy of it.

"I'm pregnant with Edward Cullen's child. He doesn't really love Bella, he loves me. Jacob is Nessie's real father, which is the real reason he is always hanging around with her. And Seth has an evil twin."

She rolled her eyes at me, yet again. "Seriously, Leah? Can't you be sincere for one minute?" she asked. "That plot was on Days of Our Lives last week."

"Yeah, but when you watch soap opera's, our lives don't seem so sordid, do they?" I laughed.

My mother still didn't lighten up. "Okay, you and your brother don't want to talk to me? That's fine. But I'm going to figure out what's bothering you sooner or later."

I cowered a little when she said that, because I knew it was true. But I didn't want her to know that she was going to be losing the only two things that still mattered to her in her life. So, I was going to have to do my best to make sure everyone involved kept quiet about the fact that the Volturi was coming to town.

Guess that's another thing I would have to talk to Sam about today. I needed him to keep his mouth shut to the Elders about what was really going on.

For now, I was just going to have to settle for lying to my mother again. So, instead of telling her about the battle to come, I used the next thing on my mind.

"Well, I can't tell you what Seth's problem is, but I'm going to go and face mine right now." I turned my focus away from one problem and tried to think about another.

"What are you talking about?" Good. She was curious. Sam was a good excuse to use against my mother.

If it were up to me, I would be walking out my door to go and fight the Volturi right now. I really had no interest in seeing Sam. Even with Embry and me together, I didn't want to bring up that pain, especially now that I knew how much he still cared about me. But I had to do this. If Sam and I could come to a mutual understanding about everything, maybe my life would get a heck of a lot easier.

"I'm going to see Sam."

I saw her eyes widen. "What are you planning on doing?"

Apparently she had no faith in me at all.

"Gee mom, I thought maybe I would tie him to a kitchen chair and cut off all the tips of his fingers before slathering him in honey and dragging him out to the forest for bears to eat him." Wow, I had given this more thought than I'd realized. I just shrugged, "I just need to talk to him."

"About what?"

About the fact that he had royally screwed me when it came to love. Thanks to him, I would never be able to trust another man.

"In order for me to move on with my love life, I have to talk to him about some things." I left it vague for a reason. I honestly didn't know what I was going to say. I think I was just going to have to play it by ear.

"You know that he never meant to hurt you." Didn't mean he hadn't. "And remember that your words have consequences." Like I really cared about what happened to me now? I was going to die in a month anyway. "And above all, he and Emily love each other."

God, mom, why don't you shove the knife a little deeper into my back? I thought caustically. I bit my tongue and smiled and nodded.

"Try not to be too hard on him."

Why was my mother concerned about Sam so damn much? I was her kid, not him. It irked me that she didn't tell me to kick his ass or something. I sighed when I realized where Seth had gotten his compassion from. My mom was so empathetic to others.

"I'll do my best." I waved to her as I walked into the living room. She followed me, carrying the steaming bag of popcorn.

Charlie and Billy both turned their eyes at me as I walked towards the front door. Charlie smiled weakly and waved. Billy just glared at me suspiciously. I wondered how much Sam had told him about what was going on.

For as long as I could remember, Sam had always gone to Billy when it came to things regarding the pack. He admitted to me once that Old Quil scared him. The crotchety old man scared most of the pack. Even though he was older than dirt, he had more fire in him than anyone I had ever met. He wasn't afraid to beat the shit out of you with his cane. One time, Paul had smarted off to him and ended up with a knot the size of a baseball on his shin. I really liked Old Quil.

"Hey Leah, are you going to the Cullen's?" Charlie asked curiously as my mother sat down next to him.

Sure. Because I was dying to meet all of the Cullen's little friends.

"Nope." I smiled as I shook my head.

"Oh…" Charlie looked down at his feet sadly.

The look he had in his eyes made me feel like crap. It made me want to hit Bella for hurting him. But then I suddenly remembered that I was doing the same thing to my mother. Great, now I wanted to hit myself.

"Well, if you see Bella, will you ask her to call me please?" Charlie questioned.

I'm sure the vampire whore was absolutely ecstatic with the idea of all her little leech friends finding out that her father was a human that hung around the mansion, completely unaware of the danger he was constantly in.

"Sure, if I see her," I nodded. Chances were that I would be seeing her again sometime soon. With the battle coming up, I'm sure we were going to have to coordinate an attack plan.

Charlie turned back to the movie.

"What'd I miss?" My mother questioned as she glanced at the screen.

"Some guy just blew up a helicopter with a match and a stick of butter." Charlie updated her on the movie. I laughed. So the movie must be something with MacGyver.

"You sure you don't want to stay and watch the movie, Leah?" My mom faced me again.

Ha. HA! Was she kidding? I could think of nothing less comfortable than watching her and Charlie making out, while Billy glared at me angrily for reasons I was unaware of.

"No, thanks." I laughed. "You guys enjoy it." I put my hand on the doorknob. "Bye." I waved.

"See you later." Charlie put his arm around my mom.

God Charlie, keep it in your pants, at least until I'm out of the house…

"And have Bella call me," he added.

I laughed. I was just delivering all kinds of messages to Bella, because we were apparently so close.

"Hey Leah?" Billy finally spoke to me.

"Yes?" I was a little startled to hear him speak up. I turned back to face him.

"Have Jacob do the same," Billy said with a rough tone to his voice. "Tell him to pick up the damn phone once in a while."

"Uh, okay," I said unsurely.

So, did Billy know about the Volturi? If he did, was he going to call me out in front of my mother? She obviously was unaware that there was an army of vampires on their way, because if she had known, she wouldn't have bothered with all the small talk in the kitchen. She would have just gone off into a rant about why Seth and I hadn't told her.

I felt a bit of panic working its way to the surface. But after a minute, I remembered that Charlie was here, and Billy wouldn't talk about vampires in front of Charlie. So even if he did know, I didn't have to deal with that right now.

As I closed the door, I left all my worries about the three of them behind me. I had bigger things on my mind. As I started on my way to Sam and Emily's house, I started to wonder what I was going to say to Sam. With Emily there, I needed to be cautious with my anger. She didn't like to see any of the werewolves upset. Though, I could hardly say that I blamed her. If a wolf had shredded my face the way Sam had hers, I would probably be nervous around shouting wolves too.

I shivered a little recalling when my mother had gotten that phone call that Emily was in the hospital. Mauled by a bear, my ass. That was just a rumor that started floating around town after Emily's brush with a temperamental, and ever regretful Sam. Seth and I believed the bear rumor at the time because we hadn't joined the pack yet. Of course, my parents knew the truth. Being on the council, they knew exactly what was going on. Sam was the only werewolf at that time, and he didn't have the best control of himself yet.

I was still so angry at both of them for breaking my heart that when my mother told me that Emily was hurt, my initial reaction was, Ha, Karma's a bitch. That was, of course, until I found out how bad it was. My mom had sat down and explained to me that Emily's injuries were extensive, especially on her face. I didn't say much as we drove to the hospital.

The selfish, childish part of me wondered that if Emily wasn't as pretty anymore, would Sam possibly come back to me? I had gotten so pissed at myself for reacting like that. Emily was my best friend, my family. She didn't deserve to be hurt, even if she had hurt me.

Emily had seemed so helpless in that pale little hospital room. Even though half of her face was destroyed, I could still see her smiling at Sam. Sam looked as bad emotionally as Emily did physically. He was a complete and utter wreck. When my parents, Seth, and I had entered the room, Sam made sure to leave.

Emily seemed to miss him when he was gone. I sat down in the chair next to her bed, and just lost it. I felt terrible that Emily was all scarred up, mostly because one of the last things I said to her and Sam was that I hoped that they both died. But that had been because I was so hurt that Sam was leaving me for her.

Emily quickly smacked me, and told me to stop crying and blaming myself. She assured me that my reaction was justified,

"Any normal girl with a brain whose boyfriend leaves her for another girl has every right to hate the people who hurt her." She proceeded to tell me that one day, I would understand why Sam had done what he had done.

I quickly asked for her forgiveness for the hateful way I had been treating her since the day Sam had told me it was over. She kindly obliged. My cousin was more forgiving than she had any right to be. But she never saw that I had done anything wrong.

She explained that at first, she had been furious with Sam for breaking my heart. As odd as it sounded, it made me feel a little better to hear that. I sat there and listened as Emily told me how we sometimes can't fight our destiny. She left the whole "werewolf" thing out of the conversation, of course. I didn't understand anything she'd told me that night. I still didn't. In fact, I was still skeptical of all that "destiny" shit. I never was one to let other forces tell me how to live my life.

But that night in the hospital, I let her believe that I understood. I was actually impressed that she spoke with as much clarity as she did. She'd slurred a few times, but I chalked it up to the pain meds and the fact that half of her face was gone. With the injuries to her face, it must have hurt her to talk to me for so long. But, she felt like she owed me something of an explanation.

At first, I felt better after my visit with Emily. But as we were leaving the hospital, I ran into Sam. He felt some need to talk to me too. But with him, I wasn't as willing to listen. I immediately lost my temper with him and blamed him for letting Emily get injured. I didn't know how close to the truth I really was when I yelled at him and told him it was completely his fault. Even without knowing it was his fault, I could see the anguish in his eyes.

I shook my head and sighed. I hoped that today's talk would go better than that night at the hospital. I needed to get to a point in my life where I could see Sam and not remind him that he had broken my heart. He'd heard it a million times. And he had never once argued that fact. He knew that he'd done wrong.

As I dragged myself to the front door of Sam and Emily's place, I swallowed a knot in my throat. I had been here dozens of times since he and Emily had moved in together. But never had I been here with the intentions of trying to make things right with Sam.

I knocked on the door before I could change my mind and run away like a little coward. My feet were frozen in place anyway, so I couldn't run even if I wanted too.

Sam opened the door, shocked at my presence. "Leah?" He obviously hadn't expected me to actually want to talk to him.

I forced myself to look into his eyes, and my heart broke all over again.

"We need to talk."