I don't want to hurt you, you don't want to hurt me

I can't stand you, and you can't stand me

We can't rearrange, you can never change me

Say goodbye, nothing I say could change your mind

"I won't be there"

-Simple Plan

Chapter 43:

Why does the entire world hate me?

Of course, all of the guys were stunned as they saw the replay of what had just happened breeze through my mind. For once, no one knew what to say.

Seth was the first one to speak up, calling attention to how Sam had gone down from one little punch from me.

Dude, Sam's a pussy. His foul language surprised me a bit.

Eh, you are what you eat, Quil quipped.

And there was an image I didn't need. Ah, man…why? I asked Quil. That is the last thing I wanted to see in my head right now. I was still trying to get over seeing my mother and Charlie together! Now I had Sam and Emily right in there with them.

Embry was the only one who was concerned about me.

Did he hurt you? A growl escaped through his teeth.

No more than usual, I shrugged.

He snorted, You shouldn't have stopped with just one hit. He apparently thought Sam deserved to get his ass kicked. He shouldn't have grabbed you like that.

I'm really fine, Embry, I assured him. Physically, I was fine. But I think that I was pretty shaken emotionally. I tried to hide it. I did a crappy job of that.

Okay, who wants to help me kick Sam's ass? Seth didn't like the fact that Sam had upset me so much. Of course he had to go and be my brother…

I get the first piece. Embry was just as angry as Seth.

No one is kicking anyone's ass, Jacob let out a rumble.

His sudden short temper surprised us all.

He messed with my sister, man, Seth snapped back.

Leah, you okay? Jacob questioned.

Of course. I'm fine. My bruises were already healed.

See? No problems, he assured the rest of the pack. We don't need to start a war with Sam's pack over a misunderstanding.

I hardly think his idiotic behavior qualifies as a misunderstanding, I grumbled.

Look, I'll speak with Sam. But until then, we will not fight amongst ourselves. Sam's pack is doing us a great service by helping us fight against the Volturi. We've got enough violence headed this way. We don't need to add to that by pissing Sam off.

Well, I'm sorry for defending myself, I said sarcastically.

I didn't say you were wrong for doing it. You had every right to break his jaw. You asked him to back off. He didn't, Jacob huffed and paused for a moment. But keep in mind he only had your best interest at heart.

I slowed my pace. Embry and Seth had already reached where Jacob was at. Seth was a few paces in front of me.

How so? I asked when I walked into the clearing.

You'll see.

You're being really weird, Jacob. I walked over and sat down next to him.

I gotta agree with Leah, man. What's going on? Everything okay at the leeches place? Quil asked.

Other than all the freaking houseguests, Jacob mumbled. I saw through his eyes that two more vampires had showed up on the Cullen's doorstep. One was a male, and one was female. They were sent by Alice. Guess the little trickster had something up her sleeve after all. He groaned, I'm sure you're wondering why we're sitting here.

Yeah, and how was he able to stand being away from Nessie? I suddenly understood why Jacob was being so serious and mature…

He said the words that I knew were coming. Okay. We need to talk.

I cringed a bit. Those words never brought good news.

What's up, Jake? Seth asked. Need us to run perimeters?

Actually, the opposite. I heard him stifle a growl. There are going to be a lot more bloodsuckers coming out this way.

Yeah, we were there when Carlisle explained about all the vamps to witness for them. Quil apparently felt like this was a review.

Guess Jacob didn't expect his pack to accept the leeches so quickly.

The thing is, a lot of them don't take too kindly to werewolves.

Color me surprised. I rolled my eyes.

Dude, what's going on? Embry was confused.

I spoke with Sam this morning.

What a coincidence, so had I. Everyone was talking to Sam today. Though I highly doubt Jacob had called him the names that I had.

Suddenly, I recalled Sam mentioning something about us "spending a lot of time together." I hadn't understood what he'd meant at the time, but I was slowly coming to the realization that there was more to his statement than his and Emily's wedding.

All that stuff about Jacob wanting me to talk to Sam had been because he planned on sending me back. He wanted me to make nice with Sam so I wouldn't throw a fit when he kicked me to the curb.

I felt sick to my stomach when Jacob confirmed my fears.

For now, you guys are going to be running with Sam's pack.

I was the first to complain. Do you hate me in ways that I'm unaware of? I growled. I did not want to go back to that pack. Not after I'd tasted freedom.

Jacob just rolled his eyes. Not everything is about you, Leah. He stood up and started pacing in front of us. Sam and I had a long discussion about reconnecting our packs for the battle.

And suddenly, it wasn't just my shock and confusion that I was feeling anymore.

Why? We do just fine communicating with them when we run patrols, Embry frowned. Besides, Leah and I chatted all the time when we were part of the two separate packs. And you and Sam can talk to each other, so why should we have to rejoin them? This can be done without all this dramatic crap.

We have to focus on the big picture here. We have to be at our strongest when the Volturi arrives. There are going to be a lot of changes… Jacob's thought trailed off.

But, you'll still be our Alpha, right? Seth asked quietly.

I've got a lot going on right now. With all these visitors, I have to focus on what's best for the pack.

Translation: He was totally screwing us over because he didn't know how to handle stress. Freaking wuss.

At least be honest with us, Jacob, I snapped. You care more about Nessie than you do us. He knew it was true, so he didn't argue with me.

I was really having a shitty day. First, I had to deal with Billy's accusing glares, then there was the whole thing with Sam, and now, Jacob was just tossing us out like yesterday's used garbage.

Leah, you know it isn't like that, Jacob sighed. I just think it would be better for everyone if the pack kept their distance. Sam has offered to let you guys rejoin his ranks for the time being.

How thoughtful of him. Seth took over for my lack of sarcasm.

Guys, it's not the end of the world. It's only temporary. He looked at me. Besides, I hear it's getting kind of interesting in La Push. With the Volturi coming, there are more wolves joining the pack.

Yeah, not a selling point. A bunch of inexperienced moronic teenagers constantly thinking about boobs and asses. I was tired of the "my dick is bigger than yours" territorial shit. I didn't want to go back to having to hear that crap on a daily basis.

Sam's going to need some help training the new wolves, Jacob continued.

Oh, that's just what I want to do. I rolled my eyes. Spend all my time babysitting a bunch of whiny little brats who still watch cartoons in their PJ's on Saturday mornings. I shook my head. Screw that! I exclaimed. There was no way I would go back to Sam. You are completely reneging on your promise to me. I reminded him that he told me I wouldn't have to go back to Sam.

It's only until things get situated at the Cullen's, Jacob assured me.

Exactly how long is that going to be? Quil questioned.

Jacob couldn't answer. He just let out another sigh. He shifted around uncomfortably, and suddenly, a memory he had been trying to repress popped into his head. It was a conversation that Edward had had with the two new vampires.

From what I could tell, unlike the Cullens and the Denali clan, the two newest additions to the house did not have the same respect for human life as the "vegetarian" vampires.

I cried out in shock, They're going to hunt humans? I growled.

Not in our borders. There was a mixture of relief and anger in Jacob's tone, They've agreed to leave Forks and La Push alone.

I was stunned. Why would Jacob agree to stay on board when he knew that human lives were going to be lost? That's the reason we existed in the first place! Nothing could justify this.

I'm not exactly happy about it, Jacob grumbled.

But you didn't speak up either, Embry pointed out from the memory. All Jacob had done was sit in the corner and grumble silently to himself.

So when exactly did you lose your balls? I snapped. Ever since he had become friends with the Cullens, his ability to see past some of their decisions made me question his sanity. This took the cake. Apparently, after Nessie had been born, Jacob had been castrated, and his testicles were sitting somewhere on the Cullen's mantelpiece.

Enough, Leah. Jacob cut my thoughts short. I can't do anything about it.

Well, Sam sure as hell would.

He and I spoke about this as well. We are in agreement that as long as the vampires don't harm anyone in Forks and La Push, we will put up with their animalistic ways.

This is just wrong, Jacob. Quil was thinking of Claire. Some of her family members lived outside the borders of La Push. She visited them sometimes. It terrified Quil that the vampires could get that close to her, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Sacrifices have to be made for the people we love, Jacob shrugged.

Well, well, well. Look who agreed with murder now. I snorted. Anything to help his precious little Nessie.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Again, we weren't sure how to respond. The fact that there were innocent people out there who were going to be hunted down and killed just bugged us all.

So, now not only are we protecting the vampires, we're going to stand by with our thumbs up our asses while they eat people? I questioned.

It's a bit more complicated than that. Jacob glared at me.

Being an accessory to murder is not complicated at all, I frowned.

He let out a rumble in his throat, This is exactly why I'm sending you guys back to Sam's pack. You can't handle this situation.

Because we're not made to just "handle" it! I argued. You think our forefather's decided to become wolves just for the hell of it? "Hey, how's about we morph into gigantic beasts so we can lick our asses and get belly rubs from the local chicks?" We exist to preserve human life!

I know our history, Leah. And I'm doing the best I can to do what's right, he grumbled. But there are some situations that we have no control over.

I felt a twinge of pain shoot through me when I heard those words. He wasn't the first person to tell me that we weren't in control of our own destiny sometimes. Sam used that excuse all the time. The memory shut me up.

If we promise not to complain about it, can we stay? Seth finally broke the silence.

It was surprising to me that Seth wanted to go back to Sam even less than I did.

Jacob shook his head. This is the way things have to be.

But I don't want to go back to Sam's pack, Seth groaned softly.

Jacob snapped, You don't have a choice, Seth. He had finally grown tired of our arguments.

What happened to letting us keep our free will? Seth shook his head, I won't do it, Jacob.

Yes, you damn well will! Jacob lost his temper. And that's an order, Seth! He used his Alpha command for the first time since we had joined his pack.

Seth yelped out in surprise. Seeing Jacob use his command on my brother sent me into a rage.

Don't yell at him, you jerk! I snapped.

I can fight my own battles, Leah. Seth didn't appreciate my generosity.

Shut up, I'm agreeing with you, you idiot.

Look, I'm only doing this to protect you. Some of the vampires won't tolerate having werewolves around. Jacob continued trying to justify his decisions.

If they don't like werewolves, then why are you staying? I asked.

You know I can't leave Nessie. He lowered his eyes at me.

So instead of you having to do something that makes you uncomfortable, you're going to make us miserable? Some leader you are.

Jacob remained calm this time. Go back to La Push. He glanced at us. All of you.

Quil was the first one to take off. Seth wasn't far behind. Embry and I stared at Jacob for a while.

This was completely unfair. There had been a time when I would have been glad to get away from Bella and her perfect little family. But after the conversation that I'd had with Sam today, I would much rather stick around and watch a bunch of vampires playing house. Anything would be better than going back to Sam now that I knew his true feelings.

Come on, don't make us do this. I was surprised at how desperate I sounded.

My mind is made up. Jacob stood his ground.

I grunted in frustration, This isn't fair, Jacob! I whined.

Nothing in life is ever fair, Jacob shrugged. Get over it and grow up.

His words hit me harder than I expected. This wasn't about me growing up. In fact, if anything, after everything I had been through in my life, I had been forced to grow up too fast. My life had been nothing but one devastating disaster after another.

I remembered how a few days ago, I had been waiting for something to come crashing in on me. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, this was it. Every time something good happens, something bad is not far behind. My head was over-heating with thoughts. It was too much for me to handle.

I spit at Jacob as I lunged forward to get out of here before I killed him

Go to hell, Jacob. Enjoy your little demon seed.

He didn't say anything back to me. That was fine. I didn't care. I was back to not giving a crap about anything anymore. Seth and Quil had phased out. I wasn't ready to phase back yet. I figured I would spend as much time as I could thinking about how pissed I was at Jacob for not talking to me about this first. What happened to me being his second in command? How could he make this big of a decision without consulting me?

I think I was half-way through my second lap around the Cullen's property when I realized that Jacob and Embry were still sitting in the clearing, staring at each other. I could tell through Embry's thoughts that he was just as furious as I was. Even though we were all three still wolves, I was still too pissed to say anything. Embry wasn't.

I slowed my pace and perked up to listen to what Embry had to say to Jacob

Jake, this isn't cool man, Embry frowned. Going back to Sam? Really?

Jacob shrugged, I didn't know you had a problem with Sam.

I'm not thinking about me, he snapped. Did you give any thought about how hard this would be for her? He was obviously talking about me. Unless Quil had had a sex change operation that I didn't know about.

Jacob was surprised at Embry's compassionate response, I…uh…just thought… he stuttered. He might as well have said "Duuhh deee deeerrr…"

No, you didn't, did you? Because you don't think about anything other than your own personal gain nowadays.

You know how it is when you imprint.

I grumbled. I hated it when people used imprinting as an excuse. Just because you had found the love of your life didn't mean you could selfishly ignore the world around you.

Embry apparently shared my views

Don't give me that bullshit. Just because you imprint on someone, it doesn't give you the right to be a jerk to your friends. Especially after all they have done for you. After the loyalty we've all shown, most noticeably Leah. Embry pointed out that I had been pretty damn dedicated to his pack.

Jacob mumbled something about me just wanting to get away from Sam. It's true that things had started out that way. I would have done anything to get out from under Sam's command. Hell, I would have become the leeches' personal slave, which I damn near did. But as time went on, I actually started to take my choice seriously. I pushed myself to change to become a better person for Jacob, so I could belong to his pack.

Again, Embry agreed with me, She followed you. She protected vampires for you. She went against everything she ever believed in to help you. And now you're going to force her to go back to the person who hurt her most in her life? That's really shitty, man.

I don't expect you to understand, Embry. Jacob shook his head in frustration. I know you don't see it, but I'm doing what has to be done. This is the right thing for everyone.

No, it's the right thing for you and your new little happy family, Embry snapped hatefully.

Jacob was surprised at Embry's hostility. I thought you were okay with the way things are now.

You think I want to be here protecting a bunch of bloodsucking vermin? I'm here because she's here, and because you're my friend, which is why I'm not tearing your head off right now.

To hell with that. I was hoping he would go for Jake's jugular.

Embry continued, I won't deny that the Cullens aren't completely evil. But I never thought I'd see the day where Jacob Black would be Edward Cullen's little bitch…

That statement nearly caused me to run into a tree. I slowed down and curved my path a little to avoid looking like a jackass.

Jacob's jaw was open in shock. I think he was too surprised to be angry

That's harsh. I thought you were supposed to be my friend. He took a defensive stance against Embry.

Embry's hackles stood up and he crouched into a defensive position as well

And I thought you were supposed to be ours. He made sure to emphasize the plural.

They stayed silent for a minute. I could feel how tense they both were. For a second, I thought that this would turn into a fight, but Jacob eased up and sat down.

He let out a sigh, Nessie is important to me, Embry. I'm just trying to take care of the girl I love.

Yeah? Well, so am I, Embry growled.

Even though I knew how Embry felt about me, it was still surprising to hear the admission aloud.

Embry sighed and stood up. Something told me that this conversation was close to being over

You do what you have to do, Jake. He slowly started walking out of the clearing. But I refuse to let you push her back to Sam, he grumbled. If you do this, the Volturi will be the least of your worries. He let out a threatening snarl.

You're not going to fight with me, Embry. Jacob sounded confident.

As pissed as I am right now, you wouldn't last five seconds. Wouldn't be much of a fight, Embry shrugged.

Are you really going to disobey my orders? Jacob questioned.

See, here's the thing Jake...you've forgotten that we were friends before we started taking orders from you. Embry was out of Jacob's sight now. I watched as the forest started to whiz by Embry's eyes. If you want me on your side when the Volturi comes, you better think long and hard about where your loyalties lie.

I shifted my view from Embry's eyes to Jacob's. He was sitting stunned in the clearing alone with a dazed look on his face. I didn't feel sorry for him. He had brought this on himself.

I could still feel the conflicting emotions that Jacob had going on even after he'd phased back. He shouldn't be concerned. Even though Embry had been absolutely right in everything he had just said to Jacob, I knew that we would all eventually be a part of his pack again. Just because Jacob had forgotten his loyalties to us, didn't mean that we weren't still loyal to him.

After all, it was better than the alternative. None of us wanted to go back to Sam. There had to be another way.