He doesn't know how, but she's somehow managed to convince him that this was a good idea.

They've spent the last few hours being shown from house to house by some chirpy blonde that he'd quite like to strangle because she's happy, far too happy.

And he doesn't want to be house hunting. He was quite happily avoiding thinking about this whole situation but Peyton Sawyer isn't so willing to look past the significant money troubles that are coming his way.

She wants to help.

He doesn't want her help.

But he's bitten his tongue because she's already pissed at him and as much as he enjoys teasing her and making her lips pout, this is different. She's not just pissed, she's hurt.

'Can we have a few minutes Bree?' Peyton asks the blonde.

'Of course, I need to make a few calls, you two lovebirds take as much time as you need and I'll wait out front!'

Lucas is glad to see the back of her.

'How can she be so fucking happy?'

'She's just nice'

He exhales heavily because she's smiling that smile again, that smile that is false and forced. The smile that has been a permanent fixture on her pretty face for the last forty eight hours. She's being far too sweet and nice. Her voice is calm and she's not disagreed with him on anything and he doesn't like it because that's not her and he knows it's because she's mad at him right now even if she's trying her god damn hardest not to show it.

'Peyton?' He tries.

'Mm' She's circling the small living area objectively.

'I'm sorry'

'What for?'

'You're mad with me'

She stops surveying the room and looks directly at him with an amused expression. 'No I'm not' She laughs but it's not genuine and he rolls his eyes because to a bystander her act may be convincing but he's not convinced one little bit. She's a terrible liar. 'I promise' She emphasises with that smile that he doesn't buy.

'You've been overly nice for the last day or so' He retorts.

'What? I'm not usually nice?' She scowls in his direction but her eyes are amused and he's never wished for her dagger stare more because anything is better than her pretending.

'No' He states bluntly. 'You're stubborn and sassy and you moan at me when I let Jamie eat his breakfast in his school uniform'

'Well I hate it when you do that! He got stuff all over it this morning and he had to go in looking like some dishevelled kid that's not looked after!' She exclaims.

He smirks. 'See! There you are'

She huffs and makes a beeline for the exit but he throws his hand out across the doorway, blocking her path.

'I know you're upset'

'No, I'm not' She argues, feigning confusion.

'Yes you are'

'I'm not' She laughs.

'Look, I'm sorry I just want to... Can we talk about this?'

'There's nothing to talk about, I'm not pissed off. I promise'

'Right' He's pissed off now because she's just running away from the subject and he's trying, he's trying but he doesn't know how to do this. He's not good at this. He needs her to meet him half way.

She awkwardly pecks his cheek and smiles brightly. 'What do you think?'

'Of what?' He sighs exasperatedly.

'This place?'

'It's a mess'

He's right about that.

'Yes but try to envisage it once it's decorated' She proposes. She knows he made his mind up about it before they'd even stepped foot through the door. She doesn't need to ask to know that he doesn't like it. She's not all that fond of it either but she's trying to be optimistic with the hope it'll rub off on him but she's sensing it's a futile effort; they could be in the most ideal house right now and he wouldn't be interested.

'It's small'

'It's not. Not really. It's big enough'

'He's use to running around and riding his scooter down the hallway'

'Luke. Realistically he's not going to be able to do that anymore, wherever you end up moving. There is outside' She takes his hand and drags him over to the window that overlooks a small, decent sized garden that's not even a quarter of the size of the Scott's land. 'He's not going to hate you for this. I promise'

He's sure Jamie won't hate him too. That's not why he's so reluctant about this moving house idea she's had.

Haley and Nathan had provided everything for Jamie. He'd been given so much and Lucas didn't want to eradicate what they'd established.

He himself had moved from house to house, family to family, room to room. They were always small. The neighbourhoods weren't exactly the ideal place for kids to hang about. He doesn't want Jamie to experience anything that resembles his childhood.

He doesn't want to take away what Jamie has. He doesn't want to take away the safe road he lives on, the private school he goes to, the pool, the garden. None of it. Because this kid knows what it's like to have, he's not Lucas, he's not grown up with nothing. He doesn't know what it's like to suffer and struggle, he doesn't know what it's like to scoff down the breakfast you're given in the morning whether you like it or not because you don't know when you'll next get a decent meal.

Lucas doesn't care about moving, he won't find it difficult, and he's sure she's right; Jamie won't hate him, he may however, find the sudden change in lifestyle difficult.

'So what's the verdict on this place?' She reigns him back in.

'What do you think?' He turns his nose up, his eyes circling the small space once more.

She laughs. 'I don't like it either'

'Why are we still standing here then?' He complains.

'Because I can see that you're having such a delightful time. I didn't want to drag you away' She drawls, sarcasm dripping from her every word and a cheeky glint in her eye that has Lucas grabbing her by the arm and backing her up against the wall. Her hands press against his chest in protest because the wallpaper is damp and she doesn't particularly want to be leaning against it but then he's kissing her and she doesn't care.

He wants to kiss her better- he wants to kiss her in such a way that words aren't necessary to make her understand.

But there's a niggling feeling that stops her from just letting herself get lost in his kiss. She's thinking.

She can't seem to switch off her overactive brain.

Hasn't been able to for the last day and a half.

Because she said it. And he didn't.

And she wants this, them to be normal, to be as it had but she can't take those words back. Doesn't want to.

And she's trying to be rational about it all. She realises that he may not feel the same way, she realises that it may have been too soon for him, she realises that he may just not be interested in her in that way. She gets it, she really does and she's trying to act normal.

But clearly it's not working.

Because he keeps looking at her like he is now.

She's still against the wall but his mouth is no longer on hers, he's staring at her.

Blue intense eyes.

He keeps opening and closing his mouth like a guppy fish and she wishes words would spill from his mouth because she's not a mind reader and yet at the same time she hopes that he keeps whatever thoughts are flitting around in his head, right where they are because she's not sure she can handle knowing what it is he's really thinking.

'So that's a definite no then?' Her voice is a croaked whisper. 'To the house?'

He nods dumbly.

'Bree said there were some new developments down near the river that we can look at later on this week'

'Okay' He answers without hesitance to which she kinks her brow because she knows he's not keen about house hunting. He's made that more than clear but he's suddenly become submissive to her constant nagging and she's pretty sure it's because he's feeling guilty.

He is.

And until he can get her to stop being pissed off with him he's intent on trying to suck up to her every suggestion because he can't stand to see her mad.

He holds her hand. 'I've gotta get back to work'

She nods once and rocks forward on her toes to peck his lips.

He doesn't like this new kiss; it's cold and distant and she's only been doing it since she said it. And he wishes she just didn't bother at all because it's just teasing him and he wants to tug her close and slip his tongue into her warm mouth but it's not the same when she doesn't fully reciprocate. They're having a silent battle of wills and she's not even aware she has her shield held high, but he is and he wants to forcibly knock it out of his way but he doesn't have the strength. Hasn't summoned the strength to do so just yet. But he will. Just neither of them know it quite yet.

'What's wrong honey?' Brooke is standing behind her breakfast bar with a cup of coffee in hand.

'Nothing'

The brunette's eyes have been intently watching her dear friend for the last few minutes. Said friend is meant to be sketching out the designs that Brooke is articulating with such detail. The blonde has always been the better of the two at drawing, Brooke's domain is the 3D; give her a bit of fabric and a mannequin and she's away, translating that into 2D was something she adored Peyton for illustrating so beautifully. It always worked. It worked because they understood each other. Today it wasn't working so much.

'You coulda fooled me. You've been sulking all morning'

'I'm not'

Brooke raises her eyebrows and indicates to the page of doodles.

'Fine I'm sulking'

'You wanna tell me why?'

Peyton presses her pencil into the page with too much force, breaking the led. She sighs heavily.

'I told him I love him'

Brooke's eyes bug out. Her coffee cup clatters against the marble work surface as she abandonnes the warm beverage with clumsy hands. 'Wh-what?...wow'

'That's all you've got for me? Wow?' Peyton huffs and slips off of her stool. Her stare is downcast as she seeks out her jacket that's strewn across one of the sofas.

'Where're you going?'

'Home'

'No, no' Brooke hurries past her, blocking the path to the front door. 'I'm sorry. Okay? You took me by surprise. Just come sit down' She doesn't give room for any arguments, snatching the blonde's wrist and dragging her to sit on the sofa. 'You...you love him?'

'You think I would of said it if I didn't mean it?' Peyton snaps tiresomely.

'Honey...I'm sorry it's just, this is a big deal for you...for you to say that...' She's not usually this inarticulate, words are something that never seem to fail Brooke Davis. Well so Peyton had thought. Again she diverts her eyes away from Brooke's wide stare.

'I know' She mutters, her rigid form crumpling and her head dropping into her hands.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

'He didn't say it back Brooke...he didn't...he...he didn't...'

Brooke scrambles to her knees and shuffles closer, her hand rubbing soothingly over her best friend's back.

'I didn't...I didn't expect him to but you know...it...'

'Sweetie look at me'

'I didn't expect him to but I, I dunno it just, I need him to say it. I need to know that he feels the same way cause what's the point? What's the point if in a week or two he's going to not want me? I can't, I can't-

'Hey' Brooke cuts in. 'Look. At. Me'

Peyton's long lashes flicker and then her glassy green eyes lift to look up into Brooke's face.

'Sweetie' The designer's hand gently strokes over Peyton's crimson cheeks. 'Just give him time. He'll say it. I know it. How could he not love you?'

'You have to say that. You're my best friend' She takes a shaky breath. 'I just...I wasn't look for this B, I wasn't looking for a relationship and then he just shows up and turns my world upside down...'

'Maybe so...but don't you think in the most wonderful of ways?'

She's walking down near the river. It's getting late. It's dark.

She knows if her parents knew she were walking alone at this time of night they'd have a fit.

But she likes the dark. And she's taking the long route to the Scott's house because she's trying to get her emotions in check; it's hard putting on a happy front.

She's spent the day at her best friend's and while she feels some weight taken off of her shoulders having confided in Brooke, she also feels more of an emotional mess than she had at the start of the day.

She's been doing a pretty wonderful job of keeping her emotions under wraps.

She's good at that. She's always been good at that.

She just wants things to be normal. She wishes she could distract herself from her own feelings because they're exactly at the root of her problems right now.

The well known pathway before her has opened up and there's a bench overlooking the river. She likes it here. She comes here to think sometimes. She'd come here now to do just that, only she can't. Can't because there's a dark figure sitting in the spot she was seeking.

She stops completely in her tracks.

She considers turning right around and walking back in the direction she's just come from.

She's about to do so but she's taken too long and the silhouette has moved. The silhouette speaks.

'Peyton... is that you?'

She wants the tree's dark shadows to swallow her up but the dim light from the surrounding street lamps light up her golden hair and she knows there's no point in even bothering to feign ignorance. She's been seen. There's no running away.

'Karen' She croaks out.

Karen is standing, her face lit up clearly now.

Peyton knows she's interrupted the older woman's solitude but she doesn't apologise for the intrusion. Her eyes avert to crumpled bit of paper in the older woman's shaking hands.

Karen takes a deep breath, her heart thumps.

It's time. She knows. She can't keep running from the situation. She has to face it. Head on; this young girl has questions and she'll answer them because she's done with hiding.

'I didn't want to do it'

Peyton's stare darts up.

Karen takes a step toward her and holds out the black and white image.

'I was only seventeen. I was just a kid, I didn't know anything but I knew one thing. I knew I wanted him'

Peyton swallows thickly, her eyes are wary as she accepts the slightly creased photo.

'He was the most beautiful baby. When they first handed him to me I knew he was my reason for existing'

Peyton's finger strokes over the photograph; even in the dull light she can make out a little bundle of blankets cradled in a young mother's arms.

'What happened?'

She wants to be kind and comforting but she needs all the information because she sees the man that's broken. She sees the man that should have been this woman's son and she doesn't understand one bit.

'My Mum and Dad thought me to young. They were furious. They said I either give him up or get out'

Peyton's eyes narrow because she knows, she knows that wouldn't have stayed in Karen's way.

'That wasn't why though. You did keep him. You didn't give up guardianship until he was gone three' Peyton discloses the information she's learnt.

Karen is surprised.

She nods despondently.

'I left home. I struggled'

Peyton swallows. She can't imagine how hard it must of been. The thought of being alone with a baby is terrifying to her. But still she doesn't understand. She wants to understand.

She feels a loyalty toward Karen, there's no doubt about it. It's just not the same. Not the same as to what she bestows upon Lucas. And in her head that make's no sense. None at all because she's known this woman longer. She knows this woman, well she thought she had. Now she's not so sure. Whereas Lucas, she knows she doesn't know as well. She knows there's so many things she doesn't know about him, there's so many things he doesn't know about her but she feels like she knows him. Perhaps better than anyone. Trusts him. And it makes no sense and she can't explain it but she's quick to realise that this woman before her could say anything at all and she'll defend Lucas no matter what.

'It was okay though, because I had him'

'What happened?'

'Dan, Dan had had Nathan. He didn't want everyone to know he'd fathered another son. He had a reputation to with hold'

Peyton's hand reaches for the bench. She feels unsteady. She wants to run away. She's not sure she wants to hear all this. It should be Lucas. Not her. But something keeps her feet glued to the wet ground below. Her fingers grip the wood tightly.

'He started, he started threatening me-'

'Why didn't you go to the police'

'You don't understand...I, I didn't know'

'Didn't know what?'

'He'd made reports. Reports that I, I was unstable, that I was unfit to care for him...I didn't know'

Peyton's brow furrows.

'They thought I'd taken him out there, that I'd intended to take both our lives'. Karen's eyes look pitch black.

'Taken him where?'

'He'd asked me to meet him. He'd said he'd help me, that he'd take care of us, that we'd get away from here'

Peyton's finding it hard to keep up.

'Who?'

'Keith'

'Keith?'

'Dan's brother'

Peyton presses her fingers into her pounding temple. She'd spent most of her days as a fifteen year old school girl in the Scott's household. She'd learnt a lot about them. Most importantly, 1- Dan Scott was not one to be trusted. 2- Deb was a recovering alcoholic and the whole family was in denial if they didn't know about her frequent drug habits. 3- She'd come to know all their relatives. She'd never heard of anyone called Keith.

'I met him at his boat. I'd never been so happy in those last couple of hours'

'What happened?' She tries to keep her scepticism at bay. She's got no reason to not believe the words Karen speaks. She wants to believe.

'I was laying Lucas down for a nap. There...there was a gun shot from above...Dan, Dan was up on deck when I got there, Keith was gone.'

Peyton gulps.

'It was like. Like a horror film...I, I went into shock...the next thing I remember is him being taken away from me...I would never have harmed a hair on my baby's head. Never. And that includes harming myself because he needed me. He needed me...No one believed a word I said though. He told them that I'd taken Keith's boat, that he and his brother had followed me out there. That I had been moments away from harming Lucas and myself, that I'd struggled with Keith, that I'd been the one to take his life' She rambles out in one heavy breath. Her words are choked. She swiftly turns away, facing the river now. Her voice is quieter when she continues. 'I was put in a psychiatric ward. I...I had person after person telling me he was better off with someone that could really take care of him. Didn't I want what was best for him?' She blinks. 'It got to a point where I started to believe them'

Peyton's mouth is dry. She pushes her tongue to the roof of her mouth. It's cold and she's suddenly aware that she's shivering and she still has so many questions but she's struggling to comprehend everything that's been said so far, she's struggling to respond at all.

'I...I know it's a lot to take in honey...' Karen goes to reach for her hand but thinks twice about doing so and her arm soon retracts back to her side. She dabs away the tears that have gathered in her eyes and then she's smiling softly and changing the subject quite abruptly. 'You're mother tells me that you and Lucas have become an official item?'

Peyton looks down. She's still trying to digest everything. She doesn't know what to feel. She has this innate need to protect, protect Lucas and she doesn't want to divulge anything. She doesn't want to give Karen anything because she knows he wouldn't want that. But she also wants to give. She wants to give Karen so much.

The older woman isn't naive. She knows this girl. Loves this girl. She held her in her arms as a babe, she's watched her grow. She's been in this young lady's life more than her own son's and she knows that's not right but god is she happy that her son has found Peyton.

'He couldn't of found anyone better honey-'

'It's not him that's lucky...I...' She trails off. She sees the excitement in Karen's eyes. She knows she's waiting on tenterhooks, dying for her to tell her things about her son but she won't. She won't do that. It's up to him to give her that. 'I should go'

'Don't' Karen pleads softly.

'I'm sorry but I...I have to' She moves past her, but lingers for a few seconds. 'I'll, I'll talk to him' She doesn't turn her head, she can't look Karen in the eye for fear of succumbing to this broken woman's plea. 'I don't know that it'll do any good...but I'll talk to him' It's the best she can offer.

Karen smiles and it's pure relief that brightens her eyes.

Peyton feels, she really does. She wants to help Karen, she just needs to help Lucas first.

She's nervous and weary as she walks into the house.

It's quiet.

It's after ten and she knows Jamie'll be in bed.

Lucas is standing when she walks into the living room, her heels tapping against the floor.

'You made me jump, I didn't know you were coming'

She notes his gruff voice and his eyes that are squinting and his cheek that is red and she just knows he'd probably been asleep on the sofa and she's woken him up.

'Sorry. I, I wasn't' She runs her hands through her hair and wonders when this, them, when they became so awkward.

She doesn't like it.

She wishes she hadn't ran into Karen. She feels like she's betrayed him by letting the older woman confide in her. But now she has this secret. She knows these things about him that he doesn't and it's making her temple ache.

She needs to tell him. She wants to and yet doesn't want to tell him all at the same time.

'I'm glad you did' He's smiling and it's apprehensive and he shifts his weight and then he strides toward her and grasps her hands 'Look, I didn't know what to say' He licks his lips. 'When you said that thing'

She frowns in confusion because she doesn't know what he's talking about because her mind is a complete muddle right now.

'The other day...I...I know you're upset about it even if you claim you're not...it's just when you said it...'

She suddenly realises what it is. And her head aches even more. She exhales heavily and pulls her hands out out of his. 'It? It's not a disease Lucas! You can say the words- when I said I love you' She folds her arms across her chest. 'And I wasn't upset. I just, I felt stupid, I shouldn't have even said anything'

'You're not stupid. And I, I'm glad you said it' He says carefully. He doesn't want her to get stressed out. She looks stressed out and he's worried it could bring on a seizure.

Her face softens. 'You are?'

He takes a deep breath. He doesn't like the way her eyes are filled with apprehension and self doubt because there's nothing doubtful about his answer 'Yes'

'...I, I didn't expect you to say it back and I don't want you to get freaked out because I feel more about you than you do about me and then end this-'

He cuts her words off when he reaches for her dainty fingers and this time he holds onto them tightly.

'I don't think you feel more for me than I do for you' He admits quietly.

She looks up at him curiously.

'God I'm not good at this shit' He smiles sheepishly. 'No one has ever said that to me before'

Her heart sinks for him. Because she knows he's not just talking about girls, he means no one. There's not been a mother and father that tucked him into bed every night and assured him that they love him, not that he can remember anyhow. And she hates it. She hates that he's been deprived of that. She hates Karen in that moment.

'You're the only person that's stuck around long enough to get to know me and I, I don't know how I was living without you because everything is just so much better now and I never thought that me becoming responsible for a kid would change my life for the better' He rambles. 'I might not say it but I, I think about you a lot, all the time and it's not just because you're hot'

An amused smirk curls her lips but he's looking at the floor and doesn't see.

'When you had that fit on Jamie's birthday' He shakes his head. 'I freaked out, I was so mad at you because for a while I thought you were leaving me...the thought of loosing you...I can't loose you and it's because I think, I think I love you too' He looks up at her '...I'm sorry'

'Don't be sorry'

'I didn't say that very well'

She shakes her head. 'I love you' She grins. 'You said it perfectly'

He doesn't think so. 'You don't have to worry about me leaving you...you're the one that's going to wake up one day and realise that there's someone better for you out there somewhere'

She frowns and shakes her head. 'Lucas...' Her hand strokes over his cheek. 'You need to stop thinking I'm better than you. Because I'm not. In anyway'

She tilts her head and her lips brush over his and this time it's not one of those stupid pecks he's come to despise in the last few days. Her mouth opens and sucks on his bottom lip and then their tongues are entwined and he pulls her close and he doesn't feel what he'd been anticipating; he doesn't feel weaker, he doesn't feel anything of the sort. He feels stronger. Because she's giving herself to him and he's surrendering himself to her and he doesn't know why he ever thought two people coming together as one was a stupid thing because it's not, it's really not. It's the best thing ever.