So here's the new update, and by request I tried making this one a little longer. But I'm new at this so you'll have to be patient with my short chapters while I learn. Anyways, enjoy!
The next day Santana awakes in her bed with a massive headache. The shades on the windows are not down and the bright sunlight only makes the headache worst. For a second that's all she feels, all she can concentrate on. Then the memories all come rushing back to her. Brittany's lips on hers. Their softness. The blonde's hands on her lap. Her tongue exploring her mouth. The way she bit down on her bottom lip when she pulled away.
"Oh fuck!" Santana groans as the realization hits her. She rolls around, burying her face in the pillow and shutting her eyes tight, but it doesn't help to keep the images out of her head. Last night she kissed her best friend. And not just as a part of the game. But because she wanted to. Because she needed to. Because she couldn't take not kissing her. Santana feels her heartbeat speeding up, her breathing becoming rapid and she's very close to panicking.
"No", she mumbles at herself rubbing her temples. "You're not gonna panic. You're Santana Lopez. You're in control."
Always in control. Except last night she wasn't. Santana jumps out of bed, pushing her thoughts away. They're not helping her headache at all. If anything, they're making it worse. She goes into the bathroom and washes of her face before looking at herself in the mirror.
What's wrong with her? She shakes her head. She was drunk. That's it. That's why she so desperatly wanted to kiss her. She's not gay or anything! She can't be. No! She was drunk.
At that moment she hears her cellphone ringing in the other room. She doesn't really want to look at it, cause she has a feeling who it might be and she's not ready to deal yet. Even so she moves into her bedroom, almost subconsiously and picks up the phone from the floor, slightly puzzled about how it ended up there. Reluctanly she glances down at the display.
Britt-Britt calling
Santana shoves the cellphone under her pillow, quickly glancing to both sides guilty, even though she's alone. The pillow almost cuts of the noise completley, there's just a slight buzz left. She can't deal with Brittany right now. She has to calm down, get back in control. Stop these weird thoughts flying through her head, trying to confuse her. Santana decides to go for a jog. Try to clear her head. Get back on track. She leaves the cellphone under the pillow, where it's still buzzing as she leaves the bedroom five minutes later.
...
The next day she comes to school feeling like a jackass but not knowing what else she can do. She spent the entire Sunday avoiding Brittany's calls, that kept coming throughout the day. And as if that wasn't bad enough this is the first time Santana hasn't picked her friend up for school without a reason, like illness, and without calling and telling her. When she pulls up in a parking spot close to the entrance (one of those nobody is allowed to park in except Cheerios if they don't want their car towed to the dump and smashed into a little cube by orders from Coach Sylvester) she spots Brittany standing on the steps by the entrance with her arms crossed and a sad litte look on her face, staring directly at her. Crap! There's no way she's gonna be able to avoid her blonde friend. Santana had arrived late, hoping that Brittany would already be in the school, but she has no such luck. Brittany is clearly content on waiting her out. Santana gets out of the car and starts climbing the steps quickly, eyes staring forward, not even glancing Brittany's way.
"Santana?" Brittany says in a small voice.
"Britt, I have to gets to class okay? Not now."
She makes the mistake of glancing sideways and seeing Brittany's face crumple with hurt. She almost stops and turns back to her, but she continues in through the entrance, leaving Brittany alone on the front steps.
The continue their little cat and mouse-game all day. Santana avoiding Brittany at all cost, not even daring the look at her out of fear she'll crumple and give in. She knows what Brittany does to her. That's also what scares her. She shouldn't be feeling like this, Brittany's just a friend. She can't be a lesbo. No way! It's not an option.
Santana sits next to Quinn in Spanish that afternoon, earning a raised eyebrow from the girl when she sees Santana could have choosen to sit next to Brittany if she wanted to. Santana just shrughs at her and looks straight ahead. That is, up until the moment when she catches Quinn smiling almost knowingly and glancing at Santana.
"What, Fabray?" Santana lashes out.
She can see Brittany out of the corner of her eye, looking at them tensely where she sits next to Santana across the aisle, but the latina doesn't dare to look her way. Quinn looks as she's about to say something but then she backs down.
"Nothing."
"Yeah that's right", Santana mutters. The rest of the class she keeps her eyes fixed on the board, pretending like Quinn and Brittany doesn't keep looking at her.
...
After her last class she basically flies out of the classroom, determined to get out of the locker room and onto the field for Cheerios practice before Brittany can corner her. Just as Brittany walks into the locker room Santana is done and leaves the room, still avoiding to look at Brittany. She's distracted during practice, trying to figure out a way she can escape afterwards while at the same time trying to not think the thoughts that pop up in her head when she sees Brittany bending over in her Cheerios skirt. She has to be fast again, that's the only way. If she waits she knows Brittany will just wait with her until she can get Santana alone. When Coach Sylvester finally blows her whistle, shouting out some random insult, Santana gets ready to bolt for the locker rooms.
"Not so fast, Lopez!" Sue shouths into her megaphone although she's standing just a short distance away. Fuck!
"Since you're a sloppy little baby who can't turn that mexican mind of yours of during practice to concentrate you will do three laps before finishing. Go!"
Santana grinds her teeth but starts running. She knows she's trapped now. Buy the time she gets back and has showered all the other Cheerios will be done and Brittany will be there waiting for her. She tries to keep calm after she's finished her laps and takes a few deep breaths before she enters the locker room. Brittany sits cross-legged on the benches right in front of Santana's locker looking at her steadily.
"Stop that!" Santana exclaims, her defences kicking in. Brittany however knows how Santana works, knows she's doing it to protect herself, and keeps calm.
"Stop what?"
"Stop looking at me like that!"
"Like what?"
"Ugh", Santana groans in frustration. "I need to shower", she says pushing past Brittany to get to her locker, not daring to look at her.
"No", Brittany says and stands up behind her.
"Yes", Santana says shakily, staring at the lock, desperatly trying to remember the combo.
"No, you need to talk to me", Brittany says, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.
"Why?" Santana is struggling to get free and fighting the tears welling up in her eyes.
"Cause you're avoiding me."
"I'm not", Santana says stupidly. She struggles harder to get free, but Brittany's stronger and pins her arm above her head, holding the latina still.
"Let me go!" Santana shouts in her face.
"No!" Brittany says, finally raising her voice, startling Santana.
"No", she says again quiter, "cause you're avoiding me and it's really really mean."
Santana stops struggling for a minute, finally daring to meet Brittany's eyes.
"I'm not doing it to be mean to you", she says gentle. She would never to anything to hurt Brittany. Ever.
"But you are", Brittany says leaning in closer until her face is just inches away from Santana's.
Santana gulps. Then she leans forward and kisses Brittany long and hard. For a couple of seconds she totally content, until she realizes what she's doing. Without warning she shoves Brittany away from her. She stumbles back and almost falls over the benches, but since she's a dancer she has enough balance to remain on her feet. The tears are welling up in Santana's eyes again.
"What the fuck is wrong with me!" she shouts at Brittany. "With us! This isn't fucking normal, Britt. It's messed up!" She's sobbing now.
Brittany is approaching her carefully until she sees Santana is too upset to push her away now. Then she wraps her arms around the latina's waist, holding her. They stay like that until Santana has cried out most of it. Then Brittany pulls away holding Santana at arms lenght.
"It's just sex Santana, it doesn't have to mean anything", she says softly.
Santana looks up, a spark of hope igniting in her head. Just sex? Yeah that could be it. It's not gay, it's just two people with a big sexual appetite. Right? Suddenly she realizes what Brittany just said. Sex! As in the two of them in a bed together. Naked. Brittany's sweaty body under her. Santana's heart drums against her ribs.
"Sex?" she asks in a shaky voice and swallows.
"Yeah, sex." Brittany smiles a flirty smile. The blonde looks around, making sure they're alone before stepping forward and pressing their lips together once more. She smells so good, Santana thinks, not able to form a more coherent thought than that. Soon Brittany steps back and smiles at Santana, who's still a little bit stunned.
"I have to go", she says. "But I'll see you." She turns around and picks up her Cheerios bag from the bench and leaves the locker room. Santana stares in front of her with un-seeing eyes, missing Brittany smiling triumphantly before leaving the room. Santana stays frozen, still in her sweaty Cheerios uniform, feeling waves of heat surge through her body.