Is everybody going crazy?

Is anybody gonna save me?

Can anybody tell me what's going on?

Tell me what's going on

If you open your eyes

You'll see that something is wrong

"Crazy"

-Simple Plan

Chapter 58:

Can we kill them now?

I waited for the signal to attack, but it never came. The Volturi stood their ground, as did we. Edward glanced at Bella, surprised that her shield was reacting so well. Apparently, the gifted vampires across the clearing were trying to use their abilities on us. But they were failing. HA! Epic freaking fail.

I tensed up when Edward ran over to his father, concerned, "Carlisle? Are you all right?"

Carlisle looked at Edward like he'd lost his mind. "Yes. Why?"

"Jane," he said quietly and growled in Jane's direction.

Miss. Shock-the-universe had gone after Carlisle first? That bitch was making me see red. I couldn't believe she would want to cause him pain. He had never done anything out of line. He was a damn sweetheart. I shook my head. Had I just called a vampire a sweetheart? Wow, get a grip, Leah.

I heard Bella grunt out a weak sound. She didn't sound like she was in pain, though I doubt I would care if she was. But it seems as if her shield was keeping us protected from Jane's attacks. Jane looked pissed that her skill wasn't working. I wanted to stick my tongue out and taunt her. Bella wasn't able to keep the child within subdued as she grinned at Jane, basically telling her, "Yep, I rule and you suck."

Jane lost her temper and got ready to attack, but Alec quickly stopped her.

The two Romanian vampires were giddy at Jane's anger.

"Look at the little witch's face." Stefan laughed.

The little gremlin was pissed. It was quite funny. Something told me that Jane was used to getting her way. Spoiled rotten vampire freak.

Alec didn't take very kindly to the fact that we were teasing his little friend. He glared at us, I assumed trying to use his power on us now.

I still seeeee you. I chuckled. Where's this giant anesthetic you supposedly have that everyone speaks so highly about? Alec's power wasn't getting through either. As far as I could tell we were all still pretty coherent. Well, as coherent as this group could get anyway. Alec frowned angrily at us. To hell with it; I stuck my big wolfy tongue out at him.

I felt a sudden twinge of weight in my head and my ears started to ring. At first I was afraid that Bella's shield was failing, but then I realized that it was just a change in the atmospheric pressure. Benjamin was messing with the elements trying to blow away Alec's mist of doom.

Come on, blow it away… Jake said under his breath.

Ha, ha. You said "blow." Seth couldn't help but giggle.

Oh my God, are you twelve? I rolled my eyes at his immaturity.

The ground started to shake beneath us as Benjamin used the fault lines to create an Earthquake. It caused a crack in the ground. I noticed Seth was awfully close to the cracking ground.

Careful, Seth, I ordered him. It would be just his luck to survive this battle, only to succumb to his own klutziness by falling into a giant gaping hole.

Benjamin praised Bella. I wasn't as quick to give her a "well done." This battle still wasn't over yet. It hadn't even started. Until she used her shield to miraculously behead all of the Volturi, I wasn't going to congratulate her.

The vampires started to discuss their combat strategy. Bella insisted that Edward go after Demetri. He was hesitant to leave her.

Have some faith in your baby mama. I joked to try and lighten the mood. No one is going to touch her, Edward. I changed my tone to a more serious one. As long as Bella was projecting her shield, she was a valuable asset to us. It killed me to admit that. It caused me actual physical pain.

Zafrina quickly put Edward at ease as well. "No one will touch this young one."

You forgot "stupid." I glanced at Zafrina.

"I'd go after Jane and Alec myself, but I can do more good here." Bella glanced at the supernatural wonder-twins. Hmm, so Alec and Jane must not be very strong fighters. They probably both relied heavily on their powers. But how would they fare without any magic? This would be interesting.

Kate snarled, "Jane's mine."

Uh oh. We might have a fight over who got to kill Jane. I think a majority of us here wanted to be the one to tear her head off. I had only known her for two minutes and I already wanted to kill her. I wanted her to suffer…endlessly.

"She needs a taste of her own medicine." Kate was probably charging up her electricity to the highest voltage possible. I would love to see Jane flying across the field on fire from an electric shock. Seeing Jane explode in the sky would be like watching the best fireworks show ever. We could all "ohh and ahh" as parts of her little midget body started to rain down on us.

Quil couldn't help himself as he started to sing "The Weather Girls"

It's rainin midgets. Hallelujah, it's rainin midgets. Amen!

The other Romanian was quick to call "dibs" on Alec.

"He's mine." Vladimir nodded.

"I just want Caius," Tanya snarled.

Hey, leave some for the rest of us. Geeze, they were going to have all the fun.

Aro called our attention as he explained that before they took a vote on our future, he did want this to come to a peaceful resolution.

Was he fucking kidding? No one here in their right mind was going to believe that. They had come here today looking for a fight. They just hadn't expected that we might be the ones victorious in the end.

He begged Edward and Bella to come join them. They declined…not so politely.

"Let's vote, then," Aro sighed.

Caius went on about what an abomination that Nessie was. Everyone on our side snarled at him. He went on to say that he believed that she needed to be destroyed.

I couldn't help but snap, What happens if someone comes along and doesn't like you? Do we get to euthanize you too?

Marcus surprised me when he spoke. He still didn't have any hint of expression on his face, but his vote was to leave Nessie alone. Maybe Marcus wasn't so bad after all. Or maybe he had just gotten so used to spending eternity with his moronic brothers that he found no joy in life anymore.

Aro had a cocky grin on his face as he told us that he got to make the determining vote. I stared at him. What did he want us to do? Give him a treat?

"Yes!" Edward exclaimed quietly. I couldn't help but laugh at the timing Edward had said that. It made me actually want to find a dog biscuit to toss to Aro and Caius. Of course, I knew he wasn't responding to my thoughts, but it was still funny as hell.

Suddenly, I understood what had Edward so excited. A breeze brought a scent my way. I knew exactly what it was the moment I smelled it.

No way. Seth gawked.

The scent got closer and stronger. There was something unclear about the smell, but there was no doubt in my mind as to what was getting ready to happen.

"Aro?" Edward questioned.

"You have something further to add, Edward?" Aro questioned.

"First, I would just like to clarify one point."

"Certainly." Aro ground his teeth together. I could see he was not happy with Edward's stalling. But I knew there was a reason behind it.

Edward asked Aro if they could prove that Nessie was not a threat, if this could come to a reasonable, peaceful conclusion.

In all honesty, I didn't want that. I wanted to tear these suckers apart, not shake their greasy little hands and let them run away with their tails between their legs. I had spent the past month training my ass off. I said goodbye to my mother and I had made peace with whatever the outcome of today was going to be. But I always assumed that the outcome was going to include fighting. Something I was desperate to do to relieve some of my tension.

"I do have something more to offer." Edward grinned.

The scent was getting stronger and I could hear the rushing of leaves beneath a cloud of moving feet.

While Edward and Aro argued about how special Nessie was, I turned my attention to the joining forces.

"Why don't you join us, Alice?" Edward called loudly.

Esme let out a shocked cry, "Alice!"

"Alice!" Emmett exclaimed. "She didn't bail!"

"Alice is back!" Nessie exclaimed happily.

I knew that was Alice's scent! Seth barked enthusiastically.

So the little fortune teller is back. Alice is pretty crafty. Quil shook his head.

Alice? Jacob questioned.

Okay, hearing the name was getting a little annoying. I sat around for a few minutes while I listened to everyone say Alice's name a thousand times. When she appeared in the clearing, I was the only one not surprised…and also, the only one who didn't say her name. I figured she'd heard it the first thirty times.

Jasper appeared behind her with three strangers. The two females were vampires, but the man with them had a beating heart. Strangely, he was almost able to keep up with the vampires as they ran. I cocked my head curiously.

Alice was by Edward's side almost instantly. There was a look of satisfaction on her face. She looked proud of herself, like a cat who was dropping a dead bird at their incredibly grossed out owner's feet. Jasper was by her side, as always.

As the strangers walked through Bella's shield, I heard a murmur from the Volturi. Well, now they knew that she shield wasn't worth shit in a physical fight.

Edward spoke quickly, before Aro and Caius could lead an attack.

"Alice has been searching for her own witnesses these last few weeks…"

And she stopped off to gamble a little in Atlantic City. You know how these physics are. I shrugged.

Caius threw another fit and demanded that his brother vote…because our time for talking was over. That was fine by me. If he wanted to fight, I was ready for him. Aro shut Caius up and let Alice explain.

She introduced the strangers.

"This is Huilen and her nephew, Nahuel."

"Speak Huilen," Aro commanded.

So, treating vampires like dogs makes these morons Kings among them? What's he going to ask her to do next? Sit? Beg? Roll over? Embry questioned.

I laughed. I had been thinking the same exact thing. We had been sharing the same thoughts for way too long.

Huilen introduced herself and immediately started to tell the story of Nahuel's creepy, horrible birth over a hundred and fifty years ago. His mother had been a human that had gotten pregnant by a vampire. Okay, so idiots like Bella were universal? What was so attractive about a vampire's junk? It'd be like making love to a popsicle. If that wasn't enough to turn you off of sex for life, I don't know what would be.

I tuned out the specifics about Nahuel's conception and birth. I was already traumatized enough by how Nessie had come into this world. Imagine the first thing you saw after being born was your father's teeth slicing open your mother's stomach,

"Hi daddy…oh my God, I can see mommy's intestines!"

I shuddered. Disturbing.

"Nahuel, you are one hundred and fifty years old?" Aro asked.

I think he wants to throw him a surprise birthday party. Seth laughed.

"Give or take a decade," Nahuel responded. "We don't keep track."

"And you reached maturity at what age?"

"About seven years after my birth."

"You have not changed since then?" Aro was completely enthralled.

"Not that I've noticed." At least this freaky half vampire child wasn't as vain as some of the leeches I'd met.

You hear that, guys? Nessie's going to be okay! She'll slow down. The growth spurts will stop. And we can live together forever!

As thrilled as I was for Jacob that he could live his fairy-tale ending with his under-age child-bride, I was too focused on the fact that everyone's lives seemed to be working out...except for mine. Why was it that Bella got to have her little vampire baby, marry the guy of her dreams, and live happily ever after? Why did I have to lose Sam, kill my dad with emotional stress, and not be able to have children of my own?

I had Embry. I would always have Embry. But I was constantly going to be doomed to remember all the pain in my past. I still hadn't been able to move on from it. The fact that this battle wasn't happening right now was making me furious. I realized that I was using this battle as an excuse to distract me from my sordid life. And right now, I wanted the distraction more than anything.

Apparently Nahuel had sisters. He explained that only male half-breeds could create vampires. Well, that was sexist. Who got to decide that? What geneticist decided that only male mutants would be able to change people's lives? Stupid XY-chromosome.

The fact that Nessie wasn't the only one of her kind did not help to put Caius's mind at ease.

"We take care of the aberration here and then follow it south." He urged his brother.

Aro took a moment before he responded. He looked at Nessie and Nahuel, and then back to Caius and shook his head.

"Brother, there appears to be no danger. This is an unusual development, but I see no threat. These half-vampire children are much like us, it appears."

Except for the fact that they're not psychopaths who need plastic surgery, I snapped at Aro.

"Is that your vote?" Caius demanded.

"It is." He muttered something about speaking to Nahuel's father, who was creating a new breed of vampire with beating hearts. Aro smiled at his guard. "Dear ones, we do not fight today."

I was too angry to be relieved. I had been looking forward to getting rid of a few of these masochistic vampires. I watched in shock as they turned away from us and started marching in the opposite direction. It took every ounce in my body to keep me from going after them. They didn't deserve to live. This was not fair.

Aro raised his hands at us and told us how happy he was that this had ended without violence. He was full of crap. After a few seconds, he disappeared with the rest of them.

That was it? Seriously? We had gotten all revved up for a fight and they were just going to run away like pussies? I watched everyone else celebrating and giving each other high fives. They were kissing and shoving their tongues in each others mouths. And all the shit you'd expect to see in a really cheesy romance movie was happening right before my eyes.

But not me. Oh, no. I. Was. Pissed.

All that build up for no battle? I wanted to fight. I wanted to rip that entire army of smug vampires limb from limb. And the "good" vampires were making out? I felt like I had been dropped into a parallel universe.

I was seriously hoping for a fight. I had so much built up aggression and tension that I needed to get out. I felt my body start to tremble with anger.

It's over, Leah. You can relax. Seth encouraged me to cheer idiotically with the rest of them.

But I couldn't stand around and praise what had just happened. I had a feeling it wasn't over. At least, not for me.