I try to make it through my life

In my way, there's you

I try to make it through these lies

That's all I do

Just don't deny it

Don't deny it

And deal with it

Yeah, deal with it

"I don't care"

-Apocalyptica

Chapter 60:

My brother; the cross-dresser

The first thing we needed to do after the fight was to tell Jake what had happened. I begrudgingly made my way back to the Cullen's house. On the way back, we ran across the Denali clan. I wasn't one bit surprised to see Garrett with them. I'm sure that he and Kate were going to live happily ever after. But the happily ever after wasn't going to be today. I could see how upset Kate and Tanya were at the death of Irina. Personally, I didn't care that the blonde was dead, but I did feel a bit of sympathy for her sisters.

Seth volunteered to phase to talk to them and tell them how sorry we were about their loss. I would have been more upset, but I was too busy laughing at how goofy my brother looked squeezed into my clothes.

He had forgotten to bring a change of clothes of his own, so I offered him mine. It was only after he phased to talk to the Denali clan that I turned to Embry and howled out a laugh,

Thanks for not telling him you've got clothes, too. Seeing him dress in drag is the funniest thing ever. I laughed.

I'm just surprised that he wasn't smart enough to ask me if I had a pair of pants he could borrow. Embry smirked.

It's Seth. Common sense isn't exactly his friend.

Aw, he would look so cute in a dress. Quil joked.

I faced him inquisitively. He's not the one who puts on high heels and a tiara and dances around singing "Someday my prince will come..."

Aw, man, thanks a lot for sharing, Embry, Quil grumbled. That was a thought that Embry wouldn't have been able to keep a secret if he wanted to. It was just too damn hilarious. Quil immediately tried to defend himself. Claire likes to play makeover.

And apparently so do you. Now let me ask you something...do you find that wearing pearls accentuates your neckline? I chuckled. Hey, maybe we can get our nails done together.

That's it, I'm going home now. Tell Jake to call me if he needs anything else. Quil couldn't take my torture anymore.

Pansy! I called out after him.

"Hey, where's he going?" Seth turned his attention away from the Denalis.

Deep into his closet with Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise. Embry chuckled.

Oh, that doesn't even make any sense. How could I be gay if I imprinted on a girl? Quil questioned.

Denial my dear friend. I poked more fun at him.

"Interesting attire." Tanya noticed that the clothes my brother had on were way too small for him.

I barked out laughter and Seth glared at me.

"Yeah, my sister is always finding new ways to torture me," he muttered under his breath. "Anyway, what was I saying?" Seth turned back to the vampires. "Oh yeah, the battle. We just wanted to let you know how sorry we were about your sister. It sucks."

"It sucks?" That's all he could come up with? Really? Embry questioned.

He has a way with words.

The vampires all shared the same stoic look on their faces. I saw Kate scrunch hers up in agony. Normally, I didn't give a rats ass if a vampire was in pain, but seeing the look on Kate's face brought out the very small part of me that cared. I wished that we could do to Caius what we had done to Alec, Demetri, and Jane.

Tanya let out a sigh.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. She paused and then glanced at Embry and me. "For everything. The fact that you were willing to risk your lives for us speaks volumes. We misjudged you. I'm sorry for that."

Seth shrugged. "It's okay. Most people do."

Except Charlie. He wanted to adopt us and turn us into lapdogs. I recalled the way Charlie had given Jacob a belly-rub the first time he'd seen him phase.

"The Cullens are lucky to have you as friends." Garrett smiled. "They are indeed an interesting bunch."

"Yep." Seth nodded. "It's never boring with them around," he admitted. He looked at Garrett curiously. "So, you're going to give the vegetarian thing a go?"

Garrett laughed as he looked at Kate.

"I can't explain it, but this woman does something to me…" He drifted off. "You'll get there too one day. Trust me."

Seth nodded. "Well, good luck. And again, I'm sorry about Irina."

I saw all of them flinch when Seth mentioned her name. They didn't stick around much longer to hear any more. I think the mention of Irina was too much for them to handle.

When Seth phased back, he laid in to me and Embry for making him embarrass himself in my clothes in front of the vampires.

You guys suck.

It's your own damn fault for not being prepared. I shrugged.

He muttered all the way back to the Cullen's house. When we reached the mansion, there was a thick musky smell still lingering in the air. Nahuel was still here with his aunt. I looked inside and saw him staring intensely at Nessie. It was a bit creepy. He was looking at her like she was a piece of meat. I wondered why Jacob wasn't pissing on her like he owned her. My Nessie. Mine! Maybe he hadn't noticed. I looked at Jacob. He was pretty much zoned out. I bet he did that a lot when he was around the vampires.

Why don't we just phase so we can talk to Jake? Seth suggested.

Good idea. Go in and let Emmett see you in girls clothing. I would love to hear what he has to say about that. I nodded eagerly. I could just imagine the lashing Seth would get from Emmett for wearing hand-me-down clothes from his sister. I sighed happily. Seeing Seth in my clothes brought back funny memories from our childhood. Well, funny for me. When he was two I used to dress him up in mom's clothing and smear make-up all over his face. Those were the days.

On the other hand, we could always just wait until Jake phases back. I'm sure he's going to want to see his dad to let him know that everything's back to normal. Seth laughed nervously.

We sat outside the house and listened as Edward explained how relieved he was that Alice had come through with her plan. Apparently if they hadn't shown up, Aro was going to go ahead with the attack even though he was afraid of Bella.

"Aro was afraid?" Bella questioned. "Of me?"

I don't know why she's so surprised. Her idiocy scares the hell out of me. I shrugged jokingly.

Edward continued blabbing about how the Volturi had never been in a fair fight. Gee, there was a surprise. I rolled my eyes.

"It's hard to feel confident when you're surrounded by horse-sized wolves." Emmett jabbed Jacob playfully. I still couldn't believe how comfortable Jacob had gotten with the vampires touching him.

"It was the wolves that stopped them in the first place." Bella nodded.

Finally, a bit of recognition from little Mrs. Spoiled Rotten.

Damn straight. Embry recalled the fight and how the Volturi ceased when they saw us standing there baring our teeth at them.

Edward agreed, "That was another sight they'd never seen. The true Children of the Moon rarely move in packs, and they are never much in control of themselves…"

"So, there are real werewolves?" Bella gawked.

"Real?" Did she think we were a figment of her uninteresting imagination? A zany hallucination? I scoffed. Was that the best her tiny brain could come up with? A fake horror movie?

"Like with the full moon and silver bullets and all that?" Bella continued being dumb.

Embry laughed sarcastically. Hollywood and their stupid myths.

At least Hollywood's vampires don't sparkle.

Edward spoke a little bit more about these "real" werewolves. The Children of the Moon. They didn't sound like any kind of creature I would ever want to come across. Although maybe I could befriend one and send it after the Volturi.

Bella started whining about how Alice had left her. Boo hoo, I'm a baby. Wah, wah.

Bella frowned at Alice. "You could have just told me!"

"I don't think so," Alice said without missing a beat. "You're just not that good of an actress."

HA! Welcome home, Alice! I knew there was a reason I liked her. And indeed, Bella did suck at acting. I had witnessed it. Hell, I'd seen elementary school pageants with better actors than her.

A few more minutes passed as Alice explained the situation. I wasn't really paying attention. Sometimes this vampire gossip just made me incredibly bored.

After a little while, Nessie stirred uncomfortably in her sleep. "Should we take Nessie…"

"It would be a good idea." Edward nodded at Bella. He grinned as he looked over at Jacob. "I'm sure she didn't sleep very well last night, what with all the snoring…"

Like two vampires knocking boots in the same house as her doesn't keep her up every night? I rolled my eyes. I shuddered at the thought of two vampires doing it. Cold, twisted bodies. Gross. It would be like two rocks humping.

Jacob looked at Edward and smiled. Not an evil "I'm going to get you back smile." It was a genuine smile of friendship. It shocked the hell out of me.

"It's been a while since I slept in an actual bed." Jacob yawned. He had a point. I often wondered where he slept when he was out here. I'm pretty sure none of the vampires owned a bed. Why own something you're never going to use?

Like Bella's brain? She has one, but she never uses it. Embry grinned. He knew that would make me laugh. It did. I'm surprised I didn't think of it myself.

I'm rubbing off on you in all the wrong ways.

And when did this "rubbing" occur? I was not aware that there was any rubbing in this relationship. He teased me.

I do not want to hear this. I do not want to hear this… Seth complained. Thoughts of our relationship bothered my brother. I found it amusing.

"You know, I bet my dad would get a kick out of having me under his roof again." Jacob leaned into the back of the couch and stretched.

Finally, I sighed. I didn't know how much longer we would be waiting on Jake. He went to hug Bella and give Nessie a kiss on the forehead.

Bella placed her hand on Jacob's cheek.

"Thank you, Jacob."

How could he stand to be touched by her so intimately? It just felt so wrong. But I guess Jacob had gotten over Bella and moved on to her daughter. It's weird the way things worked out.

"Anytime, Bella." Jacob put his hand back on her cheek and winked. "But you already know that." I'm sure she did know that. We all knew that. Jacob would go to the ends of the Earth and back for Bella. I still didn't understand it, but I wasn't going to question his love for her anymore. "You guys are totally worth it." He kissed Nessie's head delicately.

Jacob stood up and punched Edward in the shoulder. Edward laughed and shoved him back. Great, now I was going to have to watch "Edward and Jacob: A werewolf/vampire bromance" for the rest of my life. I never would've thought that I would see the two of them wrestling around like brothers. It was seriously disturbing.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Jacob waved. He let out a sigh, "I guess things are going to be kind of boring now, aren't they?" He sounded both disappointed and relieved about that.

Edward nodded. "I seriously hope so."

"Later, leeches." Jacob headed to the front door.

"Goodnight, mutt," Bella teased him.

Jacob was thoroughly surprised to find Seth, Embry, and I waiting on him. He walked a few yards away from the house before he phased.

I wasn't expecting you guys to be here, Jacob said. Where's Quil?

Leah sent him running home with her evil thoughts. Seth laughed.

I'm surprised Edward didn't yell at me to shut up. My thoughts haven't exactly been kind tonight. I laughed as we ran away from the house.

They never are. Jacob didn't miss a beat. But that's why I love you, Leah. No censor. No bullshit. He paused. You guys are all great. I've got the most kick-ass pack an Alpha could ever hope for. Jacob then went into this long speech about how we were such a great pack to have. We had probably gotten half way home before Jacob asked us what we were doing at the Cullens.

So, why'd you wait on me? I thought that you guys would want to go home and hug your parents in a big "I didn't die" reunion.

We were headed that way, Seth said, but Leah and Embry stumbled upon something interesting. Seth couldn't contain his thoughts anymore as he replayed the battle in his head.

Jacob came to a screeching halt.

You…killed them? He reviewed the image of the smoking pile of ashes that had once been three very powerful and irritating vampires.

You're not mad, are you, Jake? Seth sat down in front of him.

I didn't care if he was. Tearing those morons apart gave me a great sense of satisfaction.

Jacob? Embry questioned.

Complete and utter silence.

They were going to kill the Cullens, I explained.

Jacob looked at me.

So you came to their defense? He was still stunned.

It was either that or let them destroy everything that you love.

We weren't about to sit back and watch those freaks kill our friends. Seth nodded.

Look, I'm sorry if you aren't happy about this, but I'm not going to stand here and apologize for tearing the Devil's Advocates apart. What they wanted to do was just wrong and I…

Jacob interrupted me, I'm not angry. He glanced at me. I'm proud of you guys. He paused for a moment. I'm a little disappointed that I missed the fight, but the fact that you cared enough to protect everything I hold dear means the world to me. I'm impressed that you care so much…

Of course we care about you, you idiot. I laughed.

Yeah, Jake. You're our Alpha, Seth said. And probably the best friend I've got.

Yep, we've gotta stick together, man, Embry agreed.

He looked at me. I guess he wanted me to say something girly, too. I wasn't going to.

I still think you're an asshole.

Jacob laughed. Leave it to you, Leah.

I took pride in ruining sincere moments with loads of sarcasm.

By the time Seth and I got home, the sun had set. I'm sure my mother was going crazy with concern. Jacob had called her after the battle, as per Seth's request. But I'm sure that until she saw us walking through the door, she wasn't going to relax.

"Man, I'm glad Jake had an extra pair of pants." Seth pulled on a pair of Jacob's sweatpants. I was a little disappointed about that. I would love to see my brother walk in our front door naked. It would be even funnier if Charlie was around.

We had phased back and were walking towards the house. We argued about who was going to go in the front door first.

"You go. You're older," Seth suggested.

"Mom likes you more," I said as I reached the front steps.

Seth sighed, "You think she'll be mad?"

"We snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to fight in a battle to protect vampires." I glanced at him with an odd look on my face.

Seth didn't say anything. He just let out another heavy sigh.

"Fine. I'll go first." I shook my head. "You are such a baby sometimes." As I turned back to the porch a light came on that nearly blinded me.

"She put the bulb back in the motion sensor," Seth said matter-of-factly.

"Jeeze, it's like looking directly into sunlight. My corneas feel like someone sliced them in half." I blinked to try and regain my sight. "Apparently our punishment is for us to go blind." I saw little black spots floating around in my eyes.

I shook my head as I opened the door. Even if my mother did punish us for scaring the hell out of her, it couldn't have been worse than losing my eyesight.

As expected, she was standing in the living room waiting for us. I guessed the motion sensor had given us away.

"Heh. Hey, mom." Seth stood behind me. I guess he figured I would protect him if she started chasing us around the house with a wooden spoon like she used to do when we were younger. I hated that damn thing. It left one hell of a mark.

Mom looked relieved to see us. She didn't say anything for a minute.

I looked around the room nervously. My mom scared the crap out of me. I did not want to see her angry. I just let out an anxious chuckle.

"So…what's for dinner?"

I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her face was a mask of perfect stoicism.

"Sam called. The council knows everything." Mom's face still didn't change.

Note to self: Do not buy Sam a wedding gift. He had to tell them everything?

An annoyed smile broke across my mother's face.

"You're grounded til you're thirty."

"For what?" I exclaimed. "I promised you that we'd come home and here we are." I was thrilled that I didn't have to break my promise to my mother.

"Sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to fight vampires? Taking the light bulb out of the motion sensor?"

"That was all Seth." I glanced at my brother. The look on his face said it all. I will kill you in your sleep. I'm sure I was going to pay for ratting him out later.

My mom shook her head and let out a disappointed sigh.

"If I didn't know you were out saving the world, the two of you would be in so much trouble right now."

"We're sorry." Seth frowned. I'm sure he didn't like the fact that we'd upset her so much. I didn't really like it either. But at least we were alive.

My mom nodded surely. "Good. You should be. You two scared the hell out of me." She frowned. "Don't ever do it again," she said. "Now get over here and give me a hug," She commanded.

Seth was the first to lope over to her and embrace her.

"I really am sorry, mom. We were only doing our job."

I wasn't far behind. I hugged her.

"I'm sorry we couldn't tell you what was really going on. We're not really grounded, are we?"

She exhaled sharply, "No. There's too much to be done for Emily's wedding for you to be grounded."

"I take it back. Punish me. Lock me in my room for the next six months."

"You promised Emily you would be a bridesmaid." My mom frowned at me.

Curse the day I made that stupid promise. I grunted, but then forced a smile on my face. I would have to let that be tomorrow's worry. For now, I just wanted to get a good nights sleep. My brother and I were alive, the evil leeches were gone, and everyone around me seemed to be happy.

I had survived the battle. Now I just had to survive a wedding.