Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…. I'm running out of funny ways of saying that.
Finals are finally over and now I just have my regular classes to attend to, so I should be able to work on this story more often. That doesn't mean I'll be able to crank out something new every day but I will try to update at least once a weak.
I am not writing this on my normal computer so the spelling may be a bit funny, please bear with it and I promise to make the spelling and grammar quality better next time.
I actually managed to get this typed up a lot sooner than I normally would have. I just got this sudden urge to write and I happy to say that this is by far the longest chapter that I probably have ever written. Please enjoy.
Chapter 6: A Week with the Namikaze
Naruto sighed, while thinking about how bored he was. Funny thing about boredom, the more you think about it the more bored you get. Well not like he could help it. The week he had spent with the Namikaze had been fairly eventful, and in his opinion, highly refreshing considering the fact that he could actually converse with someone other than the local wildlife. Why he remembered the day after his eventful arrival at the home of the Namikaze…
Flashback: Tuesday
"And that is how we find the world to be banana shaped," Naruto explained to the young Chibi-Alpha.
"Cool," Chibi-Alpha said, stars in his eyes, "Tell me again how pig's bladders can be used to predict earthquakes."
Naruto mentally chuckled. Chibi-Alpha was highly intelligent for a four year old. He could understand concepts easier than most adults although his lack of life experience made him a bit gullible. Naruto had no doubt that this human would make a fine ninja one day.
"Naruto," Spitfire shrieked as she prepared a breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon for her family, "Stop corrupting my child's mind!"
Naruto flinched at the sound of Spitfire's voice. She reminded him all too much of his own mother. Something that scared him even more than the thought of his Hime wielding long pointy bits of metal.
"Oh come on Kushina," Alpha said from his comfortable position at the kitchen table where he was drinking a cup of coffee and reading the daily paper, "it's all in good harmless fun. Right Naruto?"
"You stay out of this," Spitfire snapped, brandishing the spatula in her hand at him, "I may have accepted the fact that he has no ill intentions towards anyone, but I will not have him poisoning our child's brain just so he can amuse himself!"
"Now, now dear," Alpha said rather shakily, "No need to get all upset. Tell you what; later, why don't all of us go out to Ichiraku's for dinner after I get home from work."
As soon as the words left his mouth, the two redhead's eyes lit up and Chibi-Alpha chanted, "YAY! RAMEN! RAMEN! YAY!"
Naruto tilted his head in confusion, "What is this ramen you speak of?"
All three humans turned on him like he had just said something utterly insulting. "You don't know what ramen is," Spitfire asked incredulously, "You have been missing out."
"Ramen is the single most delicious food in the whole universe," Chibi-Alpha said, drool flowing from his mouth like a miniature waterfall.
"I guess we will just have to take you with us so you can enjoy the greatness that is Ichiraku ramen," Alpha added as he also drooled, although not quite as much.
Naruto couldn't understand it. What was so great about this thing called ramen that it made a powerful person like Alpha almost giddy with anticipation? He was about to find out.
---
"Welcome," an old man said from behind the counter of a small food stand, "It's good to see my favorite customers once again. But where is little Naoko?"
"She's on a fieldtrip at the moment," Alpha explained as he took a seat.
Chibi-Alpha grinned and said, "Oneesan is going to be so mad when she finds out that we went to Ichirraku's without her."
"Now Rikuto," Spitfire chastised, "it isn't nice to tease your sister like that."
Chibi-Alpha groaned at this while the adults ordered their food. After about five minutes of waiting, the old man came back with three large, steaming bowls of broth and noodles, as well as a smaller bowl full of broth and assorted pieces of meat for Naruto who sat quietly on the counter top.
All three humans dug in after loudly proclaiming "Itadakimasu (Spelling please)", slurping noisily as they downed the noodely goodness. Naruto however sniffed curiously at the small bowl in front of him, taking in the aroma. 'So this is why their house smells so good,' he thought to himself, 'well let's just see if it tastes as good as it smells.'
With that he took a careful lap from the bowl. His body went rigged as the liquid washed over his tongue in a rainbow of flavors. Giving a foxy grin he quickly started guzzling down the broth, and snapping up the pieces of pork and chicken like his very life depended on it. 'SO GOOD,' he thought happily, almost losing his composure and saying it out loud. The Namikaze family all smiled at his reaction then turned back to their own bowls of the liquid sunshine that was ramen.
In total, the Namikaze spent a total of 35,000 ryo on their meal. Alpha consumed 7 bowls of ramen. Chibi-Alpha consumed 4. Spitfire consumed 15. Naruto consumed a whopping total of 27, so it was a good thing his portions were small and inexpensive, or else Konoha would be finding itself with a broke Hokage right about now.
'When I get my human form," Naruto thought, as he lazily lay on his side, "I'm going to eat 50 bowls of the real thing in celebration."
End Flashback
'Just thinking about it makes me drool,' he thought as his licked his lips. True, demons didn't have to eat to live but they needed to in order to get bigger. It was a good thing demons didn't produce waste like normal creatures or else there would be mountains of manure everywhere. Demons you see, convert the food into chakra as soon as it enters there systems, and being made up of chakra, this increases their size in direct proportion to how much they eat, and how much chakra they use up. Good thing they could control how big they got or else Naruto wouldn't be able to fit inside the Hyuuga mansion any more. He stretched and got up from his rather comfortable position on the windowsill off a rather large office.
'While I'm at it,' Naruto thought, 'I might as well amuse myself by reliving my week here. It's not like I have anything better to do."
Flashback: Wednesday
Naruto had slept in that day, too full, content, and pleasantly plump from eating so much the day before. Everyone else was gone at the moment. Alpha was at the Hokage tower doing a boatload of paperwork, something that apparently gives the poor man nightmares. Why he remembered just last night that he been awoken to the shouts of Alpha. "They just keep coming! Make them stop! I don't want to die by suffocation and paper cuts!" He was promptly silenced by being hit upside the head by Spitfire who said in an equally loud voice. "Shut up and go to sleep!"
Where was I…? Oh yes, Spitfire had taken Chibi-Alpha over to a friend's house after deciding that he wouldn't cause too much trouble here by himself as he slept off the ramen binge. How sadly mistaken they were.
Suddenly sitting up after feeling a pinch somewhere on his lower back, Naruto craned his neck to see the cause of his discomfort. It was a flea. 'Stupid little thing,' he thought, 'I'll just get rid of it with a bit of chakra.'
He coursed his chakra through his body and immediately felt relief from the uncomfortable pinching sensation. About a minute later the sensation returned and he thought, 'Why didn't it work? It always worked before.'
He then tried the more direct approach by biting and scratching at the annoying insect, but the thing just wouldn't let go. 'It must be some sort of super flea,' he thought in realization, 'the insects around here must have adapted to the presence of chakra so it wasn't affected when I tried getting rid of it that way.'
Poor Naruto was not very used to the sensation of being bitten by the annoying insect, considering how he usually keeps them off using chakra, so the feeling was starting to get to him. He thrashed, tossed, and turned, trying to relieve himself of the flea but to no avail. Eventually the pain got to such a point where he stared running around the house, knocking over stuff and running into walls, completely blinded by the annoying pain in his posterior.
Eventually the parasite had decided that this host was too much trouble and let go, unfortunately it was just as Spitfire had walked in through the front door.
End Flashback
'I sure had one heck of a time explaining that one,' he thought, 'I still have the bruises from the beating she gave me. Thankfully my fur covers them up so no one will ever find out that such a mighty creature such as me was bested by an insect.'
Needless to say, he wasn't allowed to stay in the house by himself anymore. The next day, Spitfire had a mission, and Chibi-Alpha was staying the night at his friend Konohamaru's house, so the task of taking care of him fell to Alpha. Too bad that it was Ninja review day. It was a day scheduled once a month for chunin to try and convince the Hokage into promoting them to Jounin rank. It was also the day when all Jounin were required to come in to renew their Jounin license or else they would be demoted back to chunin.
(I am feeling lazy so the following section will be written in third person point of view with everyone's real names. I still need time to think of good nicknames for everyone)
Flashback: Thursday
"Alright Naruto," Minato said, "I want you to just sit here on the desk quietly while I review everyone ok?"
"Fine," Naruto replied, "But you better take me out for ramen later Alpha."
"We'll see," Minato replied as he pressed a button on the side of the desk, "Please send in the first person."
The door opened to reveal a tall ninja with spiky silver hair and wearing a dog mask. "Hokage-sama," the ninja said, "I have come today to see about transferring from ANBU to the normal Jounin ranks."
"I see," Minato said as he flipped through a folder on his desk, "But first, please remove your mask I want to talk with you face to face, Kakashi-Kun."
"Very well, Minato-sensei," the ninja replied as he removed the mask, reveling… another mask! Although this one didn't cover up his entire face. Also, he had a headband that covered his entire left eye, revealing only the right one, which had an almost lazy look in it.
"I'm surprised that you showed up on time for once," Minato said with a grin.
Kakashi gave an eye smile and replied, "I wanted to make sure my chances were as good as possible, after all, I know you won't go easy on me just because I'm a former student of yours."
"Correct," Minato said nodding, "Now let's have a look at your profile. Hmm, not exactly good but not bad either. It seems you completed the required amount of missions but just barely. Lazy as ever I see. Everythin looks to be in order, but first tell me; what reason would you have to quit ANBU and become a regular Jounin?"
Kakashi shifted his feet slightly, thinking for a moment before responding. "Minato-sensei, I have saved up more than enough money to last me for quite awhile, and to be honest, the missions have been taking their toll on me. I decided that I should give being a Jounin-sensei a try at least once before I die."
"Now now Kakashi," Minato said with a laugh, "We both know you're going to outlive me. As for you being a Jounin-sensei, I have no reason to believe that you won't do an excellent job of it. Approved."
With that he stamped a piece of paper and handed it to Kakashi. Thanking him he turned to leave but stopped as he spotted Naruto looking curiously at him. "I didn't know that you had a pet."
"I don't," Minato replied, "I agreed to take care of Naruto for my daughter's friend while they were on a field trip."
"I see," Kakashi said with a nod, and then patted Naruto , then in a puff of smoke, vanished.
"He wasn't too bad I guess," Naruto said aloud.
Minato just nodded then called in the next person.
With a slam, the person walked in, teeth gleaming and the sun reflecting off his bowl cut hair do. "Yosh," the man proclaimed loudly, "By the powers of youth I have come to request from you Hokage-sama, the chance to be a Jounin-sensei once more!"
Naruto and Minato felt dizzy after the loud mans exclamation. "Now Gai," Minato said as he tried to keep his calm, "We have gone over this. No more taking on genin until you can stop scaring the heck out of them. Remember the last time."
At this Gai actually had the decency to look embarrassed, "I know Hokage-sama, but you see, I have had my eye on a rather promising young man, and I was hoping to get your permission to train him along with other genin, considering I am not yet qualified to take on an individual apprentice."
Minato scratched his chin thoughtfully, "I see… and who might this boy be might I ask."
"Yosh! It is Rock Lee," Gai said, "He has the flames of youth unlike any other that I have seen!"
"Rock Lee huh," Minato said as he rummaged through a portfolio of all the ninja academy students, "According to this he is incapable of using ninjutsu nor genjutsu, and his taijutsu is only average at best. However, his participation grades are top of the class so I can see where you are going with this. Very well, I will allow it on the condition that you not scare off the other two genin that I give you along with him."
"YOSH! THE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHTLY IN YOU HOKAGE-SAMA," Gai proclaimed as he jumped out the open window.
"…That man scares me," Naruto said quietly as his sense of hearing slowly came back to him.
"He scares everyone Naruto. But he is the best in the village when it comes to taijutsu so I can't really complain," Minato replied, "Next!"
The person coming through the door was thankfully much quieter than Gai. It was women with long black hair and crimson eyes, something that Naruto found highly attractive considering his demon heritage. "Ahh Kurenai," Minato said happy to have someone at least mostly normal after the rather traumatic experience with the previous person, "I assume you have come here regarding your request to be promoted from Chunin to Jounin."
"That is correct Hokahe-sama," the women, Kurenai replied in a respectful tone.
"Very well, now I have been reviewing your profile Kurenai," Minato said as he leafed through a folder similar to the one that he had with Kakashi, except a different color, "It appears that you have been working very hard towards this if the number of missions you have taken is any indicator. Also, it would appear that most of them you had requested to be assigned as team leader, is that correct?"
"Yes Hokage-sama," Kurenai said with a nod, "I wanted to show that I could handle being in charge no matter the circumstances."
"Not bad, not bad at all," Minato said as he scribbled something out on a piece of paper, "I must say that you definitely have earned the right to be a Jounin, but first I will need you to work on broadening your skill variety first. Genjutsu can only get you so far after all. Take this and return at the designated date and time and we shall talk again. I recommend you take a break from missions during this time to train and get your skills more up to snuff."
"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Kurenai said with a bow, she then petted Naruto in a way that made him purr before leaving out the door like a normal person would do.
"I liked her," Naruto said with a foxy grin.
"Yes she is very likeable. I dare say she would make an excellent sensei for your Hime wouldn't she," Minato said with a grin, which Naruto only nodded at, not trusting his thoughts at the moment. "Next person please," Minato called as he pressed the button again.
Smoke filled the room as a person with a rather shaggy beard walked in. "*Cough* Would you *Cough* mind putting that out Asuma," Minato said, struggling for air. Naruto had rolled over on his back, as if dead after smelling the foul death sticks.
"Sorry 'bout that," Asuma said as he snuffed out his cigarette.
"That's better," Minato said as he breathed in the nice clean air, "Now you have come today in order to be reinstated as a ninja of Konoha am I correct."
Asuma noded his head and replied, "Yeah, I kinda had a fallin out with my fath-I mean, Sarutobi a couple years back. I just recently returned and was hoping to be a ninja again."
"I see, well let's see what your profile has to say about that," Minato said as he looked at the folder before him, after digging it out from under Naruto who was still playing dead, "*Whistle* Impressive. It says here that you were one of the Guardian Twelve, is that right?"
Asuma laughed and said, "Yep, that's right."
"Well I must say that certainly accounts for your skills," Minato said as pulled out a piece of paper and proceeded to write on it, "But I will need you to work as a Chunin for awhile. Protocol you see, I can't really just label you a Jounin after you being gone so long."
"That's more than enough Hokage-Sama," Asuma said with a grin then left.
Before he even had time to call in the next person, the door slammed open and in walked a rather scantily dressed woman with a trench coat and fishnet. "Yo Blondy," she said with a feral grin, " I've come to get my Jounin liscense!"
Minato sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Anko, we've been over this, I can't promote you to Jounin until you have proven to me that you are capable of handling all of its various duties."
"Oh come on," Anko said, "I've been working my butt off so the least you can do is make me a Special jounin. Come on, I'll make it worth your while."
She smiled and leaned over the desk, giving the rather scared Yondaime a good look down her front. 'I have Kushina. I have Kushina. I have Kushina," He repeatedly chanted over and over in his mind. "Anko, if you promise to stop trying to seduce me, then I will assign you to Ibiki's division, alright?"
"Yippee," Anko cried happily as she jumped up and down, clapping her hands like a little kid, " I get to play with Ibiki-kun!"
She then spotted Naruto who at this point was doing his best to hide, but apparently not good enough as the purple haired, recently appointed Special Jounin of the Interrogation Squad, snatched him up in a bone crushing hug. "Oh your just soooo cute," she squealed as Naruto frantically tried to escape, "I just want to squeeze you and pet you. Then I'll cut you up and stuff you full of cotton and take you home with me, place you on my bedside so I can sleep with you every night."
Naruto's poor little brain went into overload and he prompltly slipped into unconsciousness.
"Umm, Blondy," Anko said sheepishly, "I think I broke him."
End Flashback
Naruto shuddered at the mere memory of that woman. By far she was the most horrifying female of the human and maybe even demon variety.
'Oh well,' he thought, 'At least Hime is coming home tomorrow.'
---
Extra 1
"Hello everyone," Naruto said, a small bow tie around his neck, "Today we have real treat. It's our first ever extra."
At this a crowd popped into existence and cheered loudly. "The first segment of our show will be dedicated to explaining demon lore and tradition, and here today is a special guest, My father, the one, the only, KYUUBI!"
A curtain lifted up, revealing a handsome man with shaggy red-orange hair and blood red eyes. Nine tails the same color as his hair waving lazily behind him. "It's good to be here kit," the man said in a deep voice.
"It's good to have you here Otousan. Now today we will be talking about the tradition of the Naming Process," Naruto said as he held a microphone to his mouth with one of his own two tails, "So tell us a bit about it otousan."
"Well kit," Kyuubi said as he sat in a large armchair that appeared out of thin air, "the naming process has been around since the beginning of time. Since there were no humans originally, the very first demons got their names from Kami herself. After that, she had created humans and the task fell to them. No one is sure of the exact reason behind the naming process, but it has always worked so nobody has really questioned it."
"Some viewers out there have been asking about your name Otousan," Naruto said with a grin as he read from a small flashcard held in his other tail, "Would you care to tell us about that?"
"Sure why not," Kyuubi said with a smile, "My name bearer was actually a very influential person. The sage of six paths. I'm sure you've heard of him. He was the only human with a bloodline that did not result from demon influence. As for my name it's"
A buzzer sounded and Naruto says, "Looks like we are out of time for this segment of demon lore. Thanks again otousan."
"Anytime kit," Kyuubi said as he got up and left. The audience looked kind of pissed that they didn't get to hear his name.
"Moving on," Naruto said happily, oblivious to the audience's frustration, "next we have the Character Appreciation segment. It's where we talk about and present all the things that make the characters of Naruto unique. Today we have Tenten. We go live to our on the scene reporter, Gamakichi. Gama, take it away."
Another curtain lifted to show a screen, and on the screen was everyone's small orange frog, wearing an identical bow tie and holding a microphone. "We are here live at one of Konoha's most famous blacksmiths, and here beside me is TenTen. Now TenTen, I have heard that you can hit any target 100 out of 100 times. Is that true?"
"Yep," TenTen replied with a smile, "I can hit any target. Just name it."
"Well as it just so happens we have prepared a target board for you to show us just how good you are," Gamakichi said gesturing towards a large, brightly colored dart board.
Gamakichi presided to call out different numbers and targets, including the bull's-eye, the red ten, a tree north by north east of their current position, the center of a shield hanging on the wall of her living room, and a leaf that fell from a branch. "Very good," Gamakichi said, "Now for your last throw I want you to hit that person over there."
"NO WAIT," the cameraman cried just as the screen went black and the words, 'We are suffering technical difficulties' flashed across it.
"Well that's the end of our character appreciation segment," Naruto said happily, ignoring the fact that they would need to replace both the camera and the cameraman. "Our final segment today is Reviewer Appreciation."
A list of names of names starts to scroll down the screen as 'Fighting Dreamers' plays in the background.
P5yCH0
Vanbor
Dragon Man 180
Oracle for Hire
j (anonymous)
skinnydude (anonymous)
vash3055
Kyuubi123
Reaper-kun
winddgragonpowers
Peachcandy
GraityTheWizard
KaliAnn
Sgt. Nolisten
heer (anonymous)
Chronostorm
iscreamdrizzle
Rena the pirate jedi wizard
Link Gryffindor
"And that's the end of our show folks," Naruto said as the curtain fell and the music stopped playing, "We hoped you enjoyed this time we had together and we hope to see you again real soon. Before we go our sponsor would like to have a word. So let me introduce Necromancer Gora."
A figure in a dark cloak fades into existence, "No need to be so formal Naruto. Gora works just fine. Now I just want to thank everyone who reviewed, if I haven't already done so. I would also like to thank everyone for all the great ideas that they have given to me. We hope to see you again on 'Son of Kyuubi'! Goodbye."
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Thanks for reading and please review.