Chapter 4: All for the better

"I'm the boss of this team and it's my responsibility to do this, to tell everyone what to do to be in my good graces again and restore the team dynamic. But you... you're not really under my command, are you? You're the consultant and we've done this often enough."

"Often enough for what?"

"To know that it doesn't really matter what I say, you won't listen, won't regard it in any way."

"Lisbon. That's not true, I..."

She stops him with a mere look and isn't really happy to see him agreeing with her assessment, at least that's what she thinks she sees in his face until he opens his mouth again.

"You really don't trust me", he sounds astounded and as if he's back at the fruit stand, where the discussion about the nonexistent trust between them started.

"You haven't given me a whole lot of reason to since that trust fall." she complies, "But that's not the topic here. You don't trust me, you don't have the slightest bit of trust in my judgment and my orders."

"You're firing me."

She want's to hit him for switching back to discussions that lay behind them and assuming things, putting words in her mouth.

"No." she replies short and simple, nonchalant, the theme she's trying for in the future, "I'm quitting."

If she had the energy left to feel humored by anything today she'd probably lough at his expression, he looks like his mind reading abilities have left him. Totally baffled.

"I'm not quitting my job." she explains, trying for dry humor, "I'm quitting this game of tug o war between us." He still looks lost and unsure of what she's telling him. "You can stay on the team. Do what you do. I'll do damage control, protect my team from suffering under the consequences of your games. I'll continue all that, deal with the paper work you cause me and all that stuff. I'll just stop putting my energy into discussing things with you. You don't want my input and you never really put your insights out in the open with me. Scheme with Cho, keep trying to corrupt VanPelt and Rigsby. You can just stop talking with me, you don't have to bother with telling me lies about what you're doing or not doing, I can stop trying to give you orders you might follow, begging you to respect any lines." she takes a deep breath evaluating her speech, unsure if she got emotional in the end, if she sounded hurt and childish about it. She doesn't want to blackmail Jane into changing, she doubts it would work and it really isn't her style.

"Lisbon, I'm sorry." Jane sounds genuinely hurt now, but she guesses he'll get over it and in the long run it will save her from so much energy loss and hurt. It really is the logical thing to do and he'll find someone else to banter with.

"You don't have to be sorry. From my point of view, we are ok now. I'll just change my tactic, since this really bothered me till now. No hard feelings, team dynamic restored."

"I'm sorry." he repeats like a broken record and as she looks up at him she's slightly surprised to find him staring at the ground.

"Jane," she lays her hand on his arm, waiting for him to look up, "Sorry if I didn't get my point across. This... wasn't supposed to be a lecture, this was supposed to be the end of all lectures. I... was disappointed at what you did back at the Radar's residence, but I know now you didn't intend for the situation to escalate that way. It was an accident and if I want to put fault with anyone I have to put it with me, I interfered in your fight and I turned my back to her."

Jane gives her an incredulous look, a little like the one he gave her when she told Rigsby to let Mrs. Radar go. She guesses he has his own fight going on about who is to blame for the bump in her head. But it's really time to let that petty thing go.

"I'm trying to say," she starts again, letting her hand fall from it's position on his arm and stepping back, "that this accident was just the catalyst for me to rethink our dynamics. I'm giving in, I won't try to control you anymore and hopefully, I'll consequently won't stress out so fast anymore. All for the better."

She gives him a few seconds to react, than gives a final nod for his or her own benefit and leaves him alone in her office.

Jane slumps against her desk, letting his gaze drift back to the floor again, "I'm sorry." he repeats.