Wow, this was a really powerful episode for me. I may not have a biological brother, but one of my cousins is as close to a brother as I'm ever going to get. Luckily, my relationship with him isn't as strained as Blaine's was with Cooper throughout the episode. My relationship with my cousin more closely resembles how things are after Blaine and Cooper sing "Somebody That I Used to Know" (and wow, was that performance intense, or what?).
It was hard for me to decide what to write for this, as I actually felt that Glee covered a lot of the points that I would have (for once). Finally, I just decided to pick up where Glee left off, after Blaine and Cooper shoot his video audition. Also, I know this is usually a Kurt/Blaine bonding-type story, but I felt that Blaine and Cooper needed some time to themselves.
In this, I deal with the issue of absence and how this can affect people's relationships, specifically brothers. This is for my cousin, who I haven't seen in five years, but who I hope to always remain close to.
And on a completely unrelated side note – OMG, we got to see Darren shirtless :)
"You know, Blaine, I wasn't lying when I said I came here to see you and to get to know you better," said Cooper quietly.
"I believe you," Blaine replied.
Cooper's arm tightened around Blaine's shoulder. They were outside the city limits, somewhere between Westerville and Lima. It was a place that the brothers knew well. Once upon a time, the two of them had been close: Cooper had always had Blaine's back, and Blaine had always had his. Whenever one or the other had been down and needed someone to talk to, they'd come here, to a place that only they knew. Currently, they were leaning against the trunk of a fallen tree. A gently flowing river ran past them. Cooper's arm was wrapped firmly around Blaine's shoulder to keep him in place. Blaine, for his part, wasn't complaining. Rather, he had his head resting on Cooper's own shoulder, relishing the closeness that had been missing for far too many years.
"I'm sorry, B," whispered Cooper. "I'm sorry that I failed you."
"You haven't failed me," said Blaine. "What about after the Sadie Hawkins dance? You dropped everything to come back here – for me. That doesn't sound like a failure to me."
"Yeah, but where have I been since then?" countered Cooper. "Where was I when you were having trouble adjusting to Dalton, when you couldn't sleep for fear of having yet another nightmare, when Sebastian's slushie damaged your eyesight and you had to have surgery? What about when you would go home for the holidays and have to face our parents alone? We used to do everything together, though I know that I didn't always treat you the way I should have. Where was I when it mattered most?"
Blaine was at a loss as to how to comfort Cooper when it was obvious that he didn't feel deserving of Blaine's love. Finally, he settled for pulling away slightly – all while ignoring Cooper's involuntary whimper at the loss of contact – and tilting his brother's face up to meet his, letting him see the emotions pooling in the depth of his eyes. Blaine knew that Cooper wore a mask in an effort to protect his heart because he did the same. Only when they were around each other did they let their walls come down. Blaine hoped that was still true for Cooper, but he honestly didn't know anymore; it had been so long since they had been together.
Cooper gasped at the utter sincerity he saw reflected in Blaine's eyes. He had honestly doubted whether his brother would still trust him after the years they had spent apart. Absence was certainly no guarantee for making the heart grow fonder, though Cooper knew for a fact that his love for Blaine continued to grow every day. Nothing could ever make him stop loving Blaine, even if Blaine were to say he never wanted to see him again. In that event, Cooper would simply be forced to love Blaine from a distance, but love him he would, until the day he died. He'd been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed Blaine gripping his hands and moving them over his body. Now, though, he realized that his hands were positioned perfectly over Blaine's heart. He found himself gasping again as he realized what Blaine was trying to say without words: I understand; you've always been in my heart; I love you.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, knowing that he didn't deserve Blaine's forgiveness, but thankful for it all the same. When he'd seen Blaine in the locker room, fighting that punching bag, he'd imagined Blaine punching his own face in. He'd deserve it, he knew, for effectively abandoning his baby brother, and he had no idea how to make it up to him. If he could turn the clock back, he would, and return to a simpler time when he and Blaine were friends as well as brothers.
"What happened to us, Coop?" asked Blaine, stroking his hair, his cheek, his chest, taking on the role of big brother that Cooper had failed so spectacularly at. "You left me for Hollywood. Now you're some stranger that I don't even know anymore. It's as though you've forgotten how to act like yourself."
Cooper shuddered as he heard Blaine voice the truth that he'd been trying to deny. "I was scared of failing you," he admitted, "Funny how that works out, isn't it? I ran away to escape being a failure, and I ended up doing just that anyway."
"I've always looked up to you, Coop," Blaine revealed, "And not just because of my height." At this, they both laughed. Once more becoming serious, Blaine asked, "Why would you feel the need to run from me?"
"I don't know anymore," Cooper whimpered. "Everything was such a mess in my life – I had to get away from it all. And you suffered for my selfishness."
"But you're back now," said Blaine, bumping shoulders in a playful manner as they used to do.
"I want to be there for you," Cooper stated boldly. "I want to make up for past mistakes."
"You can't change the past," Blaine cautioned him.
"No, but I can do my damndest to ensure that you have the best possible future, one that's fulfilling and that will make you happy," said Cooper.
"All I'll ever need is yours and Kurt's love," Blaine replied.
At hearing Blaine's simple statement, Cooper knew then that he would always fight for his brother. He would be someone that Blaine could rely on. Wrapping his arm around Blaine again, he pulled his little brother closer so that he was practically sitting in his lap.
"I love you too, squirt," he whispered, bending over to press a kiss to the top of Blaine's gelled hair.