Love Is Wicked: Eclipse
Chapter 3
Of all my 8 classes, I had 4 with her. Math class in the morning, another before lunch and after lunch and the last class of the day, art. At each class, she sat by me and I heard that other class she had that I wasn't in it, she was sitting with Bret or any of those football stars. During lunch, she sat with the popular crowd. Her brother and sisters, Rei, Mina, Bret and all the other jocks and bitches of the school. I tried not to look but I could not help it, Bret and she were flirting heavily. I saw his hand on her neck, back, face, lips and even down to her breasts! We were in school for goodness sake! I tried not to scowl but it was hard. When I realized Amy wasn't saying anything, I looked at her and notice she was staring at something. I followed her gaze and it landed on Troy who sat by the window with Rei right beside him. He looked bored.
"Please don't fall in love with him Amy. I don't want you to get hurt." I said, a bit hypocritical since I was having the same problem. She looked at me in alarm, blinked and blushed madly.
"I've…I've just never met someone like him who is so kind." She said. Someone like him, meaning rich, beautiful people.
"I know. And I want to be happy for you but I worry." I said softly.
"I know Darien. I'm not stupid. I am way out of he is way out of my league." She said, sorrow clouding her eyes.
"No. You are way out of his league." She looked up at me, smiled a little and said thank you.
"No Amy, I really mean that. You are too good a person to be wasted on the likes of them."
"You think so?" she asked, her eyes begging for confirmation.
"I know so." Her eyes wavered with grateful tears. I leaned in and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you." She said again and I smiled. I looked up and found Troy staring at me. I stared back at him before he looked away. How was it so easy for me to stare at him and not his sister? Speaking of his sister, she was almost sitting on Bret's lap. I gritted my teeth and turned away.
Finally, art class, last class of the day came to an end. We still have ten minutes but we were done with all our works and that which had to be turned in were turned in. After that we were given freedom to talk and do whatever we wanted to until it was time to go. Since she was sitting by me, again, she turned herself to me and smiled.
"So, what do you think so far of me?" she asked. I shrugged. I wanted to say she was a bitch, a slut, a mean cold hearted evil temptress but the words would not escape. I felt if I said anything, I would cry. This was the first time I had ever felt this way about anyone and I didn't understand it. Was it love or lust? I was angry, at her, at Bret and at myself. I turned away from her.
"I guess that explains it." She said and turned back to the girls and boys she had been talking to. I picked up my things, went to the teacher and told her I needed to leave early. I run quickly to the library, knowing when Amy was ready she would come there to find me. In a corner of the library, my favorite place to be when I sought solitude, I placed my head in my hands and fought back the tears. I know I sound like a sissy, but if it was love I felt for her, then I really had a reason to cry. I was hurting and this kind of hurt I had never experienced.
Amy eventually showed up and we decided to walk home instead of take the bus. We both had much on our minds so the walk was very silent. It was Wednesday but I felt the end of the week couldn't come fast enough. But it did.
The next day, Serena didn't show up until lunch time. She didn't tell me anything, then again, I was avoiding her. I would hide as soon as she saw me and in class I sat in a different seat away from her. People were willing to trade seats with me so they can sit by her so that was no problem. And in art class, whenever she would draw closer to me I would immediately move away. I did not hide the fact that I was avoiding her.
Thursday and Friday she did not show up in school. Amy told me that Troy said she was sick. For some reason I did not believe it. Finally, the weekend was upon us. Saturday was as always, uneventful. For me anyways. Troy showed up at Amy's house so they could go to the library to do research on their project. She asked if I wanted to go but I said no. maybe I should have gone, I was after all trying to prevent her from falling in love with him and getting hurt in the end. But looking at them, I just felt that I was a third wheel. So I spent half the day helping my mother with her work, then the other half I went to see my other best friend who lived at the other side of town. It is half an hour's drive away but taking the bus often got us there in forty-five minutes.
Andrew, as always was serving customers. He was the proud heir to a popular teen arcade. The coolest place to hang out, for the middle and less fortunate class that it. The rich looked upon it with disgust. But it was such a relaxing place it was not surprising to see some rich people taking the risk to be there.
And as always, as soon as he saw me, he stopped serving, called his little sister to do it and rushed to me.
"Now you show up." He said and I looked at him in confusion.
"What?"
"Monday? You didn't come." He said.
"Oh."
"Yeah." He replied as we sat down. He called one of the waitresses to bring food to us and when it was delivered, he got down to question.
"So, what kept you?" He asked.
"I'm not sure. I felt the need to walk on the Monday and I ended up returning home about 8." I explained.
"What a long walk. So, tell me about this new girl you're crushing on." He asked and I looked at him with wide eyes. He grinned.
"How…"
"That doesn't matter. Tell me about her." He said.
"Amy." I said and I knew I was right.
"Ok, so I was grilling her on this Troy guy…"
"So to escape, she used me." I finished with a sigh.
"Yup and now I want to know every detail." I had meant to tell him as little as possible but I ended up spilling everything. We were quiet for a while after I had told him the whole story and he had finished asking questions. I so badly wanted to know what was going through his head.
"And no new developments has happened since then?" he asked for the third time.
"No."
"Well no duh. You keep avoiding her."
"What the hell else am I suppose to do?!" I asked. I was getting frustrated.
"Cool it. I'm just trying to see where things can go." He said and I sighed.
"It isn't going anywhere. That girl is dangerous. It's just a crush, it will go away in no time." I told him. He looked at me for a long time before looking outside through the glass wall of the arcade.
"I would be most likely to believe that if it came from anybody else, but not you Darien. You don't crush on people. You have met models, since you were a male model and never once did you find any of those gorgeous girls attractive in that way. I fear you may have just fallen very hard for her." He said and looked at me. I raised my brow. This was NOT up for debate. I knew it was just a silly crush which would go away in about a day or something. I was not going to be made the fool because of this.
"Yeah, you keep believing that but I'm done with this girl."
"You never started." He retorted and I glared at him.
"Whatever man, I'm out. It's getting late." I said.
"Aight, say hi to your mother for me and let me know what else happens." He replied.
"Nothing ELSE is going to happen." I said through gritted teeth.
"Mmm-hmph." Was all he mumbled and I rolled my eyes. This guy will not believe it until he sees it.
I returned straight home from the arcade. I felt tired; I always do when Andrew grills me like this about anything. Mother had left a note that she would return from the mansion late so I should eat dinner without her. She had made spaghetti and meatballs so I served myself. It was around eight thirty when a knock came at the door. I expected it to be Amy by the sound of the soft knock.
I went and opened the door, only to shut it immediately.
"How very cute and hospitable of you." Sarcasm dripped from Serena's every word. But I didn't care. My heart was racing a mile per second. What the hell was she doing here at my house?! Better yet, how had she known where I live?! My back was pressed against the door tightly as if she was pushing from the other side.
"Mrs. Shield, your son won't open the door for me." I heard her scream. Mother!? I quickly opened the door and she walked in before I could notice anything. I peered out, searching for mother but she wasn't there.
I've been doped.
"You're very easy to manipulate aren't you?" She said from behind me but I was determined not to turn from the door. I had had a glimpse of what she was wearing and I knew it was not in my best interest to look at her.
"Are you going to turn around, talk to me and offer me something to drink?" she asked but I said nothing. I heard her sigh. I did not hear her approach me though but I felt her. God help me. I whispered a silent prayer in my head.
"You know, I'm being very sensible right now. But if you continue to push me, I will make you lose your virginity tonight." She said. How was she being sensible when she was so intimately pressed against me from behind and she was whispering in my ears?!
"Darien, turn around and face me." she said. I wanted to, especially after her earlier threat but I couldn't. My body was stiff and it wouldn't obey what my mind was telling it to do.
"Darien..." she breathed against me ear and a shudder went through me. She sighed, pressed harder against me. I was startled so badly I turned around. Her hand had touched me! I mean as in…it had touched me in my private! She smiled triumphantly.
"There, isn't that better?" she said as she wrapped her hand around my neck. I was stiff against the door. My head was raised up.
"Look at me Darien." She said and run her fingers down my cheek. I gulped and slowly looked down. I was captivated by her shining silver eyes and blue specks. She smiled.
"You're as hard as a rock." She said and I knew it. But then I blink, her collar bone and upper chest was showing but her breasts weren't. She was actually decently dressed.
She rolled her eyes when she noticed that I was aware she was decently dressed.
"Men want to see me naked and you want to see me completely covered up. What a weirdo." She said and she pulled out a chair from the dining table and sat. I didn't reply. No, I was one of those men who wanted to see her naked but if I did, I wouldn't be able to think.
"Well?" she said.
"Well what?" I asked her after a minute. I was puzzled.
"Aren't you going to offer me something to drink, sit down so we can talk about why I'm here?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
"Oh. Um yeah…what do you want to drink?" Smooth.
"Nothing, sit so we can talk." Ok? I sat down and waited for her to talk. She rolled her eyes again.
"You know you can sit closer, I don't bite." You might as well I thought privately. She sighed when I didn't move. When she moved a seat up to me I moved a seat away.
"Really Darien? Really? What's the big deal? I'm just messing around with you is all." She said and that was exactly why I had to keep my distance. This was all just 'messing around' to her. If I got involve with her, I would be too serious it would drive me mad.
"Whatever. Anyway, I'm going to a club down town. I want you to escort me." she said. It took a moment for what she has said to register in my head.
"I don't go to clubs."
"You're a college student." She said.
"And I'm only seventeen." I told her. Her eyes opened wide.
"Really!?" she asked and I nodded.
"Wow! So you really are damn smart. Seventeen and already a junior in college."
"I skipped a couple grades."
"I bet." She answered. "So you're just a kid then."
"I am not! What about you, how old are you."
"Twenty."
"You're only three years older than me."
"Trust me, in the law, that makes all the difference."
"I will be turning eighteen in September." I said in my defense.
"One month from now. Mmm…guess it's not all that bad." She said with a thoughtful gaze.
"What's not all that bad?" I asked suspiciously. She raised a brow and turned to me with an odd smile.
"If I'm going to be screwing you, I want to at least know I won't be going to jail for it." She said and my eyes widened. She laughed.
"Don't worry, that is when you turn eighteen. Until then, I will entertain myself with the other available men. But all the same, I want you to go to the club with me." she said seriously.
"Mother will not approve." I told her and she sighed in frustration.
"Stop making excuses and go with me already!" she snapped.
"I can't!" I said and where I found the will to reject her offer I don't know. But I was not going to become one of her boy toys.
"I thought we made a deal." She said calmly.
"What deal?" seriously, what was she talking about.
"It's going to take more than entertaining my mind to get me involve in this project."
"Then I will just do it myself." I shot back at her.
"It's supposed to reflect you and me sweetie. How can you do the project to reflect me when you don't know me? This is why I am offering you the chance to know me in every environment." She said.
"I know that you go around sleeping with men like a…"
"Like what? Like a slut? Like a whore?" I didn't reply. She sighed and stood up, I did too. Ready to move away if she approached me.
"Very well. But if I don't ever offer you something like this again, know that it is your fault. A goodnight to you." She said, grabbed the big bag she had set beside her and walked to the door. She opened it and walked out, shutting the door gently behind her.
I sighed with relief. That was hard but not so hard. I can resist her!
But the smile soon turned sour as what I had just done crashed. I was probably never going to get such an invitation again.
Isn't that what you wanted? My mind said
Yes, of course. I said
Pfft. You know that's not what you wanted.
How would you know?!
Because I am your mind.
Weren't you the one telling me to not get involved?
That was before your stupid heart came into the equation. You have to listen to both it and I now.
Well I choose not to be made a fool off!
Right….so you don't mind that she is at the club right now grinding with some stranger.
No
That she is being held and fondled by some stranger, even by Bret.
No
That she is seducing someone.
No
Kissing someone
No
Going to bed with a stranger.
NO! But this was not a 'no' that I don't mind. It was a no that I hope nothing of the sort was happening. Panic flooded in me. Stupid stupid stupid! You should have taken the chance when she offered it. I told myself. I ran my hands through my hair, stamped my foot, walked down and up but the worries only grew. What if she was doing all that with someone?
What if? If you had taken her offer, you could be that someone. My mind taunted.
Do you want to be used like that?! I snapped at myself.
Maybe. You don't know what's in to gain until you've tried. It said back to me. I sighed, twisting my hands through my hair until it hurt.
"Urhaaaa!" I sounded out my frustration and quickly run to the door. Five minutes had passed since she left. I had no hope of catching her. All the same, I opened the door, looked from one side to the other. I left the door ajar and walked to the porch before descending down the little stairs. I run around the house but there was no car and nobody there.
I wanted cry. Throw a tantrum. Roll myself on the floor, anything that might help dispel. I returned to the stairs that led from the porch to the ground and sat down before burying my face in my hands.
"Well, don't you look dreary." I looked up and she was standing right in front of me.
"Serena?"
"In the flesh." She said before taking a seat by me.
"I thought you were gone." I said softly.
"I wanted to, but then realized you've been living a life that is not your own. I suppose you can say I am an instrument of destruction or a mother to all people who don't get to live for themselves. Since you were concern with your mother, I went to Rei's house and got permission from her. Here is her note." She said and pulled out a piece of paper from her purse.
"Of course I told her that you we were going over to our friend's house to do the project and we weren't sure whether we will be returning late or have a sleep over." She said as I read the note. It was in my mom's hand writing and her untraceable signature. It just pretty much said she was happy that I had met such a nice girl and that I should work hard on the project with her since she was very determined. Obviously, Serena had presented a whole act to make my mom think she was a decent human being. Decent human beings don't dress the way she does, with the exception of tonight, with the sole purpose of driving every man crazy.
"So, without your mother to hide behind, what's your next excuse for not wanting to go with me?" she asked. I turned and looked at her.
"I don't have the clothes for it." I said. It wasn't an excuse and I wanted to go now. But I really didn't have the clothes for it. I had only three really good suits; everything else was casual and blue jeans.
"I thought you might say that." She said and opened up her big bag again. She took out some clothes and shoes.
"Hope it's your size. It took me the whole day yesterday to decide on this one." She said.
"Is that why you had not come to school yesterday?" I asked.
"Ahh, you noticed. With all the avoidance, I didn't think you would care to look." She said as she pushed the clothes into my hands.
"I'm just trying to be careful." I replied.
"I hear you and that's alright. Gotta respect everyone's decision. Though I much prefer for you to tell me to keep my distance from you than you running off every time you see me as if I'm some monsters." She said and I knew she was right.
"You can never be a monster. You're too beautiful for it." Did that just come out of my mouth!? She was taken aback too because she paused. I immediately stood up and turned to go inside to change. She followed me.
"So, where is your room?" she asked.
"Down the hall to your right." I said, wondering what she wanted my room for.
"Ok, you change in another room or in the restroom while I freshen up in your room ok?" she said.
"Oh ok. But only the bedroom has a mirror if you need it." I told her. And my mom's room but I wasn't about to let no stranger, even if it is Serena, into my mother's bedroom.
"That's alright. I have a little hand mirror of my own." She said.
"Oh ok." We reached the end of the hall and she turned to enter my room as I entered the other room facing my room, it was the bathroom. I hanged the clothes on the rack, left the bathroom to my mom's room, grabbed her long mirror and brought it at the door of my room. I knocked on my door and she opened it.
"Here is a mirror." I told her. She smiled and opened the door wider for me. My room was nothing special, a desk here by the window, a chair with a lamp on it and one old fashioned dresser which was reaching the end of its days. And at the corner sat my neat bed. The walls were a sort of sick green color. Other than the roses in a jar that sat on my desk by the window, nothing in my room was radiant. And I suddenly felt shy that she, the most attractive, beautiful female I had ever met would enter a room like mine. Especially since she lived in such a beautiful mansion.
I sat the lamp by the foot of the bed.
"Darien?"
"Yes?" I said as I turned around. There was a flash and my jaw dropped. When she came, she had been decent. She wore this long shirt or short dress, body tight of course that reached her lower thighs. But her legs were encased in leggings that matched the outfit and she was wearing flat dressy shoes. But now, the leggings and shoes were off and all she had on was the short dress which was lifted up to her upper thighs.
And the flash that had gone off when I turned around was her camera. She was taking pictures even as I stood there trying not to stare at the exposed part of her thighs and her long legs.
"Why the pictures?" I asked to distract myself.
"No reason." She said. "But I need you to pose for me." I blinked.
"I have never posed for a picture." I told her and she sighed.
"Then do as I say. Smile." She said. I tried to be I was so nervous that my face felt funny.
"Move to stand by the window." She instructed. I did as she was told, standing here, doing this and that. Five or so minutes later, she called quits and said she was satisfied with the amount of pictures she had taken.
I was sitting on my bed and she came to sit beside me. She dropped the camera on the bed and sighed.
"That was fun wasn't it?" she asked. I nodded a little. It had been…well… entertaining. She stood up then and came to stand in front of me. The nervousness returned with a vengeance. I tried to move back a little, but she leaned and brought her face so close to mine I felt her warm breath.
"Relax Darien. Just relax." She said. Easier said than that. She placed her knee on the bed in between my open legs, cupped my cheeks and pressed her forehead against my head. My bangs were getting in the way for which I was glad. Her fingers made soft touches around my face and ears. I felt her breath near my right ear and I jerked.
"Shhh." She hushed me. I was scared and I knew it. Not scared of her, but I was afraid that I won't be able to fight her off if she wanted anything done tonight, scared that I didn't want to fight her.
"I promise you, nothing will ever happen between us that you are not comfortable about ok?" she whispered in my ear. I would have been ok, if her mouth was not touching my ears. I felt something wet touch it and I knew it was her tongue. I stiffened, the shock of it sending down sensations into the pit of my stomach. She left fluffy kissed down my cheeks to my mouth and there, she stared into my eyes. I guess she was trying to ask permission and I suppose I gave it, though how I don't know cause I definitely did not speak.
She kissed me.
My first kiss at age seventeen and oh man, was it exciting. She pressed her lips against mine, opened my mouth and pushed her tongue into it. It felt so good and I responded. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I set it on her waist and focused my attention to what she was doing with her tongue in my mouth. I did whatever she dead, repeated strokes here and soon it was no longer master and student. I lost it when she pushed me on the bed and the kiss became even more fevered. I wanted her so badly and she and I both knew it. It didn't matter anymore that she was using me to get her physical pleasure. She could use me all she wants, because all I knew then and cared for was getting her. I wanted her; I wanted to be inside her. I have had sexual urges, but this was the strongest urge I had ever had. My hands were all over her thighs, up and into her panties. I felt her vagina with my finger and she gasped. She was wet and moist. I made to poke my hands in her, to explore her but she didn't give me the chance to. She pushed away from me.
I gasped at the lost of contact with her, and my chest was rising and falling so hard and my heart beating so fast I could hear nothing else. I finally sat up when I was semi calmed and looked at her.
"I'm sorry. I hadn't meant for that to happen." I said. I really hadn't. But her body had been so soft, so smooth, God I could not control myself. She shook her head.
"It is not I that I'm concern with but you. You are not like me Darien; you cannot give yourself to anyone like I can. I don't want you doing something you are going to regret for the rest of your life." She said.
"No, but I want you. You're not just anyone." I said.
"You want me because I have aroused you. Once you are no longer aroused, you will feel differently." She said
"No!"
"Darien…"
"No! Serena I want you. I love you, can't you see?!" I said desperately. A look of horror crossed her face. "I want you Serena, only you." She was shaking her head in denial.
"This was a mistake. I have to go." She said, grabbed her purse and tried to leave. But I wasn't having it. She started it and she was going to finish it! As soon as she pulled the door open, I pushed it back closed and pressed myself against her as she had done to me earlier at the door.
"No."
"Darien please."
"No! You made me feel this way. And now you're just going to leave me like this?!"
"It's for your own good."
"The hell it is!" I don't know why I was feeling this way. I knew she was right, I knew that not being near her was the best thing for me but God I could not have that. I had never in my life wanted anything as badly as I wanted her. Not just to have sex, I wanted her. Her, to love me too. But obviously that wasn't going to happen.
"Darien, I cannot return your feelings." She said and tears fell. I stepped back and she turned around. We stared at each other, her looking miserable and I crying. First time I fall in love and look at the result.
"Please…" I begged. I knew I should be a man, I knew I should let it all go but I couldn't I didn't care that I was crying over a girl, I didn't care how bad it made me look, I just knew I loved her and wanted her.
"Darien…" she started.
"I don't care. I don't care if you use me. If you only have sex with me and nothing more. I don't care whatever it takes. Just please, don't leave me. I will do anything; I will be your errand boy, your sex toy, and your boy toy, whatever it takes. I will do it, but please don't say that you and I is a mistake." I begged. Am I stupid? Maybe so but I was not about to lose her totally.
She sighed, stretched out her hand and wiped away the tears on one cheek.
"Oh Darien, I am so sorry. You and I is a mistake." I closed my eyes in pain. "A mistake because you deserve someone who can love only you. You deserved to be loved, not used." She said.
"Then love me."
"I can't."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because my life won't always be here and I cannot just be with one person." She said. I knew all that, and I was so glad she was being so honest about it but I felt that all that could be overcome.
"I don't care how many other men you hang with."
"I don't just hang with them Darien, I sleep with them. Can you take that? Me kissing them, having sex with them? Their hands all over me, their lips on my breasts. Can you handle all that?" she asked and as she said all the things she did with other men, I could not help but see it in my head. The images were painful but the pain was nowhere near the pain I knew was waiting to overflow if she walked out of my life.
"I can."
"Darien!"
"I can take it! All of it! Please! At least give me a try…" I pleaded. She search into my eyes, shook her head and sighed.
"Do not say I did not warn you." She said finally and a wide grin spread on my lips. I hugged her. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but whatever it was, I felt I could take it down. When we parted, she leaned up and kissed me softly.
"We better get going or we are going to be late." She said. I nodded. She stood away from the door and I walked out.
Do you know what you've just done?! My mind screeched.
SHUT UP!
And that was the end of conversation with my mind. I quickly went into the bathroom and put on the clothes she had given me. It fitted me perfectly. Black straight pants, black shirt and a black blazer. The shoes too were black. It seemed Serena really loved the color black. I tried to do something with my hair but all I managed to do was brush out all the knots. I would geta hair cut tomorrow.
Finally when there was nothing else to be done, I sighed and stepped out. I went to my door and knocked.
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