Come the morning Spock felt a lot calmer, he still felt some disbelief at his own actions, still felt guilt and shame but it was now manageable. He felt it was now at a level where he control it, where it would not interfere with his ability to make logical decisions. He had been thinking about his relationship with Nyota, how the strong companionship he felt when with her and the strong desire for her body seemed two different parts of the same thing. Without the desire it was only friendship, without the companionship it was empty and worthless. If he wished to continue in this relationship with her, (which he did more than anything) he had to learn to control his desire, for now he would have to simply repress it.

The mess hall was busier than it usually was at that time in the morning; he figured it was due to the new cadets arriving that morning. Current students were getting ready to give tours to the new first years. He ordered Plomett soup from the replicator and picked some fresh fruit from the breakfast bar. He took his tray and glanced around looking for a free table and spotted Nyota sitting on her own at the back of the hall. She was looking out of the glass wall across the recreation fields towards the bay. She was carefully sipping from a mug. He walked over to her, she seemed deep in thought and did not notice him until he spoke.

"May I sit here?"

She looked up at him and he noticed for the first time that there were dark marks under her eyes and a slight sagging of the skin there. She had not slept for a long enough period of time the previous night. She gave him a small smile and gestured to the seat next to him. He sat and spent a moment looking out of the window he could not see anything that could be holding her attention it was a clear morning, likely to reach a moderately warm temperature later in the day.

"You appear to be tired Nyota, you did not sleep well last night?"

"Just the excitement of being back here I guess." She didn't look at him as she spoke.

"Indeed. We did not get to speak much yesterday."'

She gave a small smile and met his eyes.

" No, we didn't. Are you... in control again?"

" Yes. " He hesitated. " Do you still hold negative emotions towards me due to my actions yesterday?"

She shook her head slowly.

"No Spock. I think thing's got a little intense. I was.. Enjoying myself but .." She looked down and shook her head.

" Nyota, firstly I knew exactly what emotions you were experiencing." She smiled slightly. "Secondly you can be honest with me."

Nyota looked down, Spock could not tell whether she was anxious or ashamed.

" I just had this moment when I felt.. I remembered.. Him touching me." She looked up at him and talked quickly as if she regretted what she had said and needed to clarify her words. " I mean, I don't think of you like, that I know you're not..."

Spock knew perfectly well the 'him' she referred to was Williams and that when Nyota had stopped him he had been touching her in a similar manner, he could understand how her brain had made the connection. That didn't mean he liked it though, to have reminded her of such a frightening experience. He did not know if it would happen again but he did know that sensitivity and moving at the pace she set was required if he was not going to just make the situation worse. He would not usually know such things especially not where Humans were concerned but he knew her well. He was starting to understand her viewpoint on thing's, what made her angry and what she needed. He knew he would never again try to move their physical relationship forward without her permission or encouragement.

" You are still recovering from a traumatic event. I am sorry that I reminded you of it. I am sorry I caused you any discomfort. I shall make an effort to control my emotions more efficiently. "

" It's okay Spock, I think I will also have to be a little more controlled." She gave the smallest of smiles.

" You forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

He took a deep breath, he had decided last night that he could not keep things from her, it would affect their relationship, as they were trying to keep thing's a secret they would need to develop a deep trust for each other, one that would not occur id either of them willingly kept information from the other.

" Nyota, yesterday I discovered that as my desire rose I wished to meld my mind with yours. When I put my fingers to your face I had begun the process. It was this action that I am ashamed of, to access somebody's mind without their spoken permission is the gravest of offences."

Nyota looked down she seemed to take in his words; it took her 2 minutes 3 seconds to reply.

"Did you see anything in my mind? I mean other than my emotions and general inklings that we usually share."

" No, I do not believe I did, I did not complete the meld."

"Okay. Then I think we can take this experience to be a warning and nothing more."

He nodded; it was a mature statement for her years.

" Is it normal that a Vulcan wishes to access a ... Mates mind when they are ..."

" Sexually aroused." Spock supplied the words.

She blushed slightly and nodded.

" It is plausible but these things are not discussed. Do our genetic differences concern you?"

She shook her head.

" Not in the slightest Spock."

Spock felt his lips twitch.

" I love it when you smile."

" I do not smile."

" You do, just very slightly."

She gave a soft tinkling laugh and he knew things between them were well again.

" Are your family in good health?"

" Yes, though my mama thinks I'm dating somebody."

" You are dating somebody."

" Yes, but the thing is that if she suspects she'll soon ask questions and after that she'll start demanding answers. "

" My mother does the same."

Nyota smiled.

" What's the time?"

"7.34"

" I have to meet a new student at the shuttle hanger at 7:56. He's young 14, cadet Chekov. Galia isn't due till this afternoon."

" I have heard of Chekov. Like you the academy made an exception to there entrance age due to a high level of competency in his particular area."

" Is that why they asked me to show him around? I though it was a bit strange as he's doing some combination of mechanics and astro physics, not linguistics."

" That would be a logical assumption."

" We haven't had a chance to talk about the Vulcan ship and I have to go in a few minutes."

"We shall talk of it at another point."

" Dinner sometime this week?"

" Yes, E-mail me your free times by the end of the day and I will get back to you."

She nodded.

" I look forwards to it."

" Do you wish to eat outside the academy grounds?"

" That would be nice, but as long as I get to spend time with you I don't care where it is."

She sighed. " I have to go."

" I will see you soon Nyota."

She smiled at him and stood up. He watched her walk away in the reflection of the glass.

It was midday when Spock received a message from Christopher asking him to his apartment for drinks that evening. Spock had not seen his friend since he had gotten back so he had replied in the positive and at 20:00 hours he pressed his hand on the door pad so that the computer would announce his arrival. Chris opened the door with a wide welcoming smile.

"Spock!" He clapped his hand on Spock's shoulder. " Come in. I've got some Tennessee whiskey for you to try."

Spock bowed his head and walked into Chris's apartment. The apartment the captain had taken was the same size of Spock's though the room he used as his personal study was somewhat bigger than Spock's meditation room. Unlike Spock who had few personal items Chris had decorated his apartment with his own furnisher and personal items, gifts presented to him from planets he had helped in struggles against oppression, plague, famine or war. Though Christopher enjoyed his time on earth and times when he could relax, Spock also knew him to be well educated and one of the finest captains in the fleet. A brilliant tactician and when needs be a diplomat. His walls were lined with strange alien objects whose function was sometimes unclear but most of which Spock was now familiar with. Ceremonial weaponry, instruments, ancient texts and depictions of long lost civilizations, and a statue of a talaxian fertility goddess. Each had a story to it, each

Was a sign of appreciation to the captain for services rendered.

Spock took his usual seat on the deep red sofa, a lot softer and yielding than the regulation one in his apartment.

" You look well Christopher." Spock said, noting as he talked that there was a pink jumper hanging from the hook on the back of the door.

" I feel well. The breaks been good for me, you know I took a tour of the Enterprise, Her hull is completed now and most of the engineering sections. The bridge still isn't fitted and the observation decks still waiting for it's reinforced polymer windows. The less said about the medical bay the better but she looks like a ship now and they've got the completion day set at thirteen months, then three months of testing but I can't wait to get out there again Spock, I've been earth bound for too long now." Chris spoke with an enthusiasm that Spock did not know how to answer so he merely nodded.

" Isn't some small part of you eager to get going Spock?"

" I would be lying if I said I wasn't Captain." Chris smiled at the use of his title. " Serving aboard a starship is after all why I enlisted in Starfleet and trained in the academy. "

" So your little sojourn on a science vessel has not changed your mind about being my first officer?"

" Although the experience was an interesting one, I doubt my abilities would be fully utilized onboard such a vessel. Their pure scientific enquiry does not always serve others." Spock looked pointedly around the room and Chris laughed.

" All these years and I thought my little tales had made no impression on you."

" The only impression they have made is in helping me understand the broadness and the reach of an officers duties. My skills would be much better utilized ending a famine on a federation planet than accessing why the inhabitants of one died off over a thousand years ago."

" Well spoken, now will you join me for some whiskey?"

" If you do not mind, I would prefer some tea."

Chris shook his head then headed into his kitchen.

" Tea it is."

He returned two minutes later with a cup for Spock who gratefully took a few sips.

" So tell me, was your young lady as eager to see you as I'm guessing you were to see her?"

Spock remembered the feel of Nyota squirming beneath him and he felt the tips of his ears grow hot.

" That eager, hua?"

" I do not wish to discuss it."

" I know, I know you're a gentleman."

" I try."

" Do you know she got the best marks in her first year exams that the academy has seen in eight years?"

" Of course I am aware of that, I am her teacher."

" If she continues on like that I'll consider her for the enterprise."

" She is the most able student I have had the opportunity to teach; she has a wide knowledge of languages. And I find her to be loyal and dedicated to self-improvement. She would be a asset to any star ship."

" Those aren't the words of a boyfriend."

" No, they are the words of her teacher and your future second in command."

" In that case that's high praise indeed."

" It is deserving praise."

Chris nodded his face thoughtful.

" Perhaps because you didn't visit Vulcan over the summer you'll be looking to go for a few days sometimes soon?"

" No."

" Are you sure? Because the new V51 is out of development and is in the testing phase and I put a good word in for you to do one of the test runs."

" Surly the test runs should be carried out by a pilot."

Chris's eyes flickered to the pink jumper.

" It is but they want a scientist to test the updated science equipment. Just think about it, it goes at warp six so you could leave on a Friday afternoon spend two nights on Vulcan and be back by Sunday night."
Spock thought about the warmth and familiar contours of his planet, he thought of how at certain times of day the planet was shaded by it's sister planet T'Kuht. He thought about the beautiful reddish sands and the shining dune beetles. He felt a deep longing for the place he thought of as home.

" And you can choose who you take with you. I know the lady who has final say, nobody else would see the relevant clearance documents, and she would be completely discrete."
Spock raised his eyebrow, he thought of showing Nyota his home planet. He imagined seeing her there under the twin suns and showing her the areas that had inspired him in his youth. He could take her to the valley where he had gone for his Kahs-wan, even though only eight and left to defend himself in the desert for three days he had found the landscape unnervingly beautiful.

He remembered the conversation he had with Nyota that morning. How she still was affected by the attack on her person six months previously, how she still seemed to doubt her own inner strength. Since he had finished phaser training with her he had been considering what other useful skills he could teach her, he had considered various forms of self defense but if he could take her into the desert and teach her how to survive as he had as a child perhaps she would regain a little more of her former confidence. He was aware that Humans found the conditions of Vulcan, with its lower atmosphere, high temperatures and strong gravitational pull harsh. But he would be by her side. He would guide her gently and prove to her that she was in possession of more strength than she gave herself credit for. The more he thought about it the more advantages came to mind, the desert survival skills would help her later in the year when she would undergo all sorts of survival training, having undergone a shorter version of the Kahs-wan she would be given respect by other Vulcan's and her first off world experience would be on his home planet. In the future when she looked back on her first time visiting another planet it would be the places familiar to him that she would remember.

" I think I will take you up on that offer."

" I thought you might."

Thursday.

The restaurant was as he remembered it except that it now had light blue twinkling lights strung in the courtyards trees. Spock had requested the little alcove that they had sat in ten months before on that fateful night when Spock had first realized he had fallen for Nyota Uhura, and as he had later found out, she had realized she had fallen for him as well. He was not looking to relive that night but to create new memories in an old place. He thought she would appreciate the gesture and as they walked down the quiet little street where the vines was located Nyota looked at him and smiled widely, a smile that stayed with her as they walked into the restaurant and were seated.

" This is lovely Kipanzi"

"You have used that phrase once before, tell me what it Means."

" It means darling or lover."

" I appreciate the affection of the word. I should perhaps endeavor to learn Swahili."

" It is not a language commonly spoken anymore, besides we already have a secret language."

" Secret language?"

" When we speak your dialect nobody can understand what we 're saying to each other. So even in a crowded space we can talk as if we were on our own."

" I still wish to learn it Nyota, not so as to converse privately but because it is your first language and no matter how many languages you come to learn hearing your first language spoken will always bring about the feeling of being at home."

" Is that what it does for you?"

He nodded.

" Before you arrived Nyota I had not felt at home in four years."

" Then I'm glad I learnt the dialect for two reasons."

The waitress arrived at their table to take their orders, Spock decided on a goat's cheese and walnut salad followed by pasta. Nyota ordered the same starter but after asking Spock if he minded ordered a fish dish for her main. They both drunk red wine and listened for a while to the gentle instrumental music that played in the background, it mixed in a strange cocktail with the blubbering sounds of the fountain. Spock found it to be quite a relaxing mix. He raised the question he had been wishing to ask since he had met her at the edge of the academy grounds in the small flowered gardens around memorial pond.

" As I mentioned, I have not been to Vulcan in four years. What are you doing in two weeks? From Friday the 25th to Sunday the 27th?"

Nyota looked at him curiously.

"On Friday's my lectures finish at 2:30pm, the rest of the weekend I'm probably just going to study."

The waitress set their plates before them and Spock nodded their thanks.

" How much time do you require to study? Would two four hour four minute periods suffice?"

" Probably, I mean I can always rearrange things. Spock, the suspense is killing me."

" I have always found that to be one of the worst Human phrases but very well, I wondering if you would wish to go to Vulcan with me? I thought I could teach you some desert survival skills."

Nyota starred at him for a moment and he wondered if he had said something wrong or caused offence in some manner but then she gave her wide smile.

" Visit Vulcan? Really?"

" It would not be a trip tailored for pleasure, although the landscape is aesthetically pleasing the conditions are harsh."

Nyota's smile didn't falter, she spoke excitedly.

" I've never been off planet before, I mean I knew I'd be this year but... I'd love to see your home Spock."

"I was not thinking of going home but to a valley some 50.6 miles from my parents residence."

" I meant home as in Vulcan, I didn't think we'd be visiting your parents."

" I do wish to go and witness the interring of the fifty seven passengers from the shuttle. "

" Okay, definitely not a romantic weekend." Nyota said her voice lightly teasing.

"It is due to take place on the Sunday afternoon in the province bordering that we are visiting. I was hoping you would not mind the side trip."

" I don't, I know you wouldn't ask if it weren't important to you."

Spock nodded slightly. He took a few mouthfuls of salad then looked back up at her.

" Did you wish to be taken on a romantic weekend?"

Nyota smiled and shook her head.

" Let's just see if we can get through a romantic dinner first."

" That sounds like a good plan."

" Spock? " Nyota looked down at her plate of food nervously. " Why did you insist on the bodies being moved back to Vulcan? I know it took a lot of persuading to get the Vulcan high council to agree to it? I read the reports you sent to the academy yesterday, they have copies in the library." She explained When Spock gave her a quizzical look.

" It was a sign of respect. The passengers are not Vulcan's ancestors; they died without contributing to the gene pool. And although I believe in Suraks teachings I also believe in freedom of choice. The only choice the passengers were afforded was to submit to the ways of logic and purge all emotions or to leave the planet that was their home."

" You admire them because you think it was a brave decision."

" The decision to leave ones planet, not fully knowing what kind of life you will lead if you do so could not have been an easy decision to make."

" No, I know it wasn't and I do think it was a brave one Spock, an admirable one."

" It was unfortunate it lead to their demise."

" But the same decision worked out well for other people, lead them to find a new home, another place where they belong perhaps even more so than they did on Vulcan."

" Are you referring to those that left and formed the romulan star empire?"

Nyota gave a small laugh that made his stomach feel as if it were doing strange flippy movements, she hook her head and he started to wonder if her words had in some way been referring to him.

" Yes Spock I guess I was. On a lighter note, what should I pack for this trip?"

" I shall get the tent and equipment from storage. I believe I could replicate you some traditional Vulcan robes, it is important to keep your skin covered from the sun but for the material to be lightweight. I have not seen you in any clothing that would be entirely suitable."

" Okay, I'll just bring some basics then."

" Indeed, remember that in academy survival training you will only have with you what they provide."

" So we're going to be eating Star Fleet protein bars?"

" And as part of the training I will teach you to find and cook deep buried plant roots."

She nodded somewhat hesitantly.

" It'll be good experience." She said.

" Indeed, I am hoping it will help you appreciate your own inner strength, resistance and survival capabilities."

" Is this safe?"

" I would not let any harm come to you."

" No, I mean we're meant to be avoiding being seen together."

" The shuttle is still officially in its testing stages. It is kept in a private hanger outside the academy grounds. The pilot Captain Pike is having sexual relations with has signed the paperwork and he has co-signed it. They will be filed without anybody else seeing it. I believe Pike's partner is under the impression that by taking you I am showing a favoritism that is considered unprofessional but is not technically against academy rules. Therefore put of regard for Pike friendship to me she will avoid mentioning it to anyone."

" Making it appear as if you are doing something a little wrong to cover up that you're doing something very wrong."

" I believe that is the idea."

" Spock I didn't know you could be so sneaky."

" It was captain Pike's doing. He told me after the fact."

" Ah, I see. He's an interesting character isn't he?"

" Indeed."

Spock hesitated at the door to Nyota's apartment; it had been surprisingly difficult for him to resist kissing her that evening. Although their conversation had been interesting and Nyota had told him a lot more about her home and taught him basic greetings in Swahili every few minutes the candle light would hit her face in a certain way or she'd bring her glass up to linger on her lips for a tantalizing second or she'd just smile in her unguarded and honest manner and he'd be filled with the strong desire to kiss her. At these times their conversation had lulled and they had shared long lingering looks. He wished to kiss her now, just once, just for a moment. But to do so he would have to enter her apartment to avoid being seen and there was a bed in her apartment and he had spent all night suppressing his desire, it was starting to wear a little thin at the edges. One quick kiss, he could probably control himself for a minute. She hesitated at the door.

" Nyota, I.."

" Do you want to come in, just for a minute?"

" Yes, I was thinking… Yes for a moment."

Nyota entered the security code on the door, and stepped in as it opened. Te lights were off so Spock assumed that Galia was out. The moment the door closed he reached out for Nyota running his fingers down her arms in the dark, taking her hand and feeling the familiar sensation of their bond flaring up.

" Lights on." Nyota ordered as he stepped closer. As the lights came on there was a short startled shriek and Spock quickly turned around pushing Nyota behind him. Across the room Galia and a young man who Spock recognized from one of his classes the previous year were sprawled on the bed. Both were starring at him with startled expressions. Seeing that Galia was not wearing anything on the top half of her body Spock immediately turned around facing Nyota who was looking over her shoulder her expression more furious than he had ever seen her. The tips of his ears began to go hot.

" Um.. Hi commander." A nervous sounding male voice said.

" Why are you on my bed?" Nyota said her voice rising above its usual levels. "Your own is like two feet away."

" Two point three." Spock corrected automatically wishing he hadn't when Nyota's hard eyes met his.

" If you do not mind Cadet I think I will be leaving now."

Spock said hurrying out the room careful not to look back at the two unclothed teenagers on Nyota's bed.