Disclaimer Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

Chapter 5: Heartbreak

It had been a couple weeks since the end of the evacuation and most of the soldiers were gone. Some had been deployed to continue fighting while others were discharged from the Army due to their debilitating injuries to return to their civilian lives. Life in the ward was back to normal capacity and less chaotic.

Cecilia had spent as much time as she could tending to and caring for Robbie without compromising her duties. She was his primary care nurse and when she was not on duty to tend to him it was Sister Drummond, Nurse Bennet or Nurse Bingley that she trusted with him. She had met the two members of Robbie's unit that brought him home, Frank Mace whose eye injury was enough receive a discharge from the Army and Thomas Nettle whose toe infection had been caused by ill fitting boots. He had reassigned to another battalion and shipped out.

Robbie was doing splendidly. He was feeling more like himself. His wound had been stitched up and was healing nicely after the doctors believed he had beaten the infection. He looked forward to Cecilia's little visits. She would pass him and give him a little glance or shy smile. Sometimes she would quickly kiss him before moving on. After seeing her give him a shave many of the other soldiers asked for one so she spent a lot of time shaving. He was still amazed at her skill and it still amused him. Cecilia Tallis, barber. At the end of every shift she come over and gave him a kiss and tucked him in.

Today was different. He watched her as she went about her duties, tending to patients, shaving faces and running the ward. Several times she passed him by, not looking at him. She didn't smile at him; she didn't come and give him little kisses. The other nurses trusted to his care tended to him, even those who had not cared for him before. When her shift was over she seemed to rush out of the ward without seeing him. Robbie was hurt, and concerned by her sudden change in behavior.

* * * * * * *

Fiona was off. She noticed that Sister Tallis was leaving as well and heading for the office. She decided that now was the time to confront the Ward Sister about her relationship with her sister.

Briony, who had been asked by Sister Drummond to work an extra shift due to her understanding of French, noticed Fiona going after Cecilia. She had noticed how much attention her sister normally spent on Robbie; the stolen glances, the little kisses, and tucking him in when she left the ward floor. She did none of that all day. Something had changed. Something was wrong. This was the Sister Tallis her friend was about to confront and it wasn't a good idea. Briony dropped what she was doing and went after her friend. She was sure Sister Drummond would understand her reasons for abandoning her post.

They reached the office at the same time. Briony begged her friend not to enter, but she was determined.

"I'm going to have a talk with your sister. She said I could come and talk on my own time. I'm not on duty but you are. You had better get back to the ward before you get in trouble." Fiona replied.

Briony did not listen. She followed Fiona in as she opened the door.

"Sister Tallis!" Fiona responded as she entered. "I would like to speak to you. You said I could come on my own time. My shift is over."

Sister Tallis looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She saw Nurse Maguire before her and her sister behind her. She folded the letter she had been reading and put it aside. It took her a few moments before she could compose herself enough to speak. "I'm sorry, Nurse Maguire. I am aware of what I said but now is not a good time."

"Now is as good a time as ever," Fiona replied feeling confident. She was surprised with herself being so confident. Over the past few days she had witnessed Sister Tallis tend to Private Turner, even sneak in a few kisses. The way she continued to ignore Briony offended her and she grew more and more determined to confront the ward sister about her behavior. "If I may speak freely, Sister Tallis, I think that it's incredibly selfish and unfair of you to treat your sister the way you do."

She could not make her tears stop as she looked at Nurse Maguire. "Do you know what is unfair?" she asked sobbing. "It is unfair that a young man in the prime of his life with the opportunity to better himself and hopes for the future by attending medical school, having finally confessed his love to the woman of his dream and have that woman return his affections to have it all stripped away in one fateful evening because of the lies of a selfish child. Everything. His love, his dreams of the future... his freedom. All taken away. All because of a single lie. All because of a jealous little sister who thought she knew more than she did and fancied herself her sister's protector. A younger sister who lived her life in her own fantasies and dreams ruined the life of not only her older sister who loved her but the man she loved and single handedly torn a once close knit family apart. That is what is unfair."

"You're talking about your sister aren't you?" Fiona asked. "Isn't it time you forgave her? You said it yourself that you were once close. Why not give her another chance? You've seen enough death as a nurse. You might not get the chance with this war. What matters now is the present, not the past."

"But the past does matter." Cecilia replied. "It doesn't matter that Private Turner never disobeyed orders and received high marks and praise from his superior officers. It doesn't matter that Private Turner led Corporals Frank Mace and Thomas Nettle across the French countryside to the shores of Dunkirk when they were separated from their unit. It doesn't matter that the Corporals followed Private Turner willingly and never once did Private Turner take advantage of his authority. None of that matters. No. The only thing that matters now is the label placed on him by being falsely accused of a crime he did not commit before he joined the Army from prison. Don't you dare tell me to forgive my sister! Don't you fucking tell me that the past doesn't matter! Now get out!"

Briony had expected her sister's angry outburst during their conversation, but this outburst was completely unexpected. She hoped her friend would not say a word and simply leave. She was relieved when Fiona slipped out of the office. Briony was now alone with her sister in the office as she sat at the desk sobbing.

She quietly walked over to the desk and picked up the letter Cecilia had been reading. She unfolded it and read it. She felt a bit guilty as reading a letter meant for her sister was how it all began. It was a letter not addressed to Cecilia herself but "Ward Sister". It was from the prison. According to the letter, prison officials were arriving on the 21st of June to pick up Robbie.

She set the letter down and looked at her sobbing sister. It was then that she noticed the planning calendar on the Ward Sister's desk. Cecilia had been given a week holiday starting on the 21st of June. It was then that she noticed the date. It was the 20th of June. Cecilia had one more day with Robbie and she had ignored him her entire shift. Briony was sure she had hoped to take Robbie out for her holiday. She took a deep breath.

"Cee, you haven't told Robbie yet, have you?" she asked.

"I don't know how." Cecilia sobbed. "After everything he's been through, after everything he's done, how can they take him back to prison? I've witnessed Army Command come in and award medals to soldiers who have done less than what Robbie did. Robbie gets nothing! It's not fair. I love him. I waited for him."

Briony took a chance, approached her sister and rubbed her back. She was not pushed away. Her sister continued to speak through her sobbing.

"Today, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. He's been so cheerful since he's been here. Everybody has commented to me about how much they like him. I can't watch them take him away from me again. I just can't." She replied. "I kept telling myself if I ignore him today, I can go on my holiday, come back and he'll be gone. I can tell myself that it was all just another dream."

"Cecilia, you know you'll regret not seeing him off, and you are not going to forgive yourself." Briony replied. She knew that didn't sound good but she didn't know what else to say. It broke her heart to see her older sister's tears. It broke her heart to know that she was partially responsible, mostly responsible for them.

Cecilia continued to cry. "Why did they have to pick tomorrow to take him away from me again? Why did they have to pick the 21st of June? It might have been easier if it was not June 21st."

It suddenly dawned on Briony the significance of the date. It was a hot summer day in 1935 that the housekeeper's son and the master's eldest daughter finally confessed their love for each other. Two figures by the fountain. Robbie and Cecilia in the library. Two lovers torn apart by the misguided jealous intentions of a child. All because of a lie. June 21, 1935.

Briony wrapped her arms around her sister and Cecilia leaned into the embrace.