HOUSE OF CARDS
Chapter Five
The scene was exactly the same as it had been the previous Saturday night. Each side was over-run with jeering spectators and Ava would've been willing to bet that the crowd was thicker, rowdier, and drunker than the week before. For good reason too—the rematch between Jax and Eric was a highly anticipated event and even those who weren't connected to either side probably knew about it. Of course, it helped that Samcro and the Nords had a shit load of money riding on the outcome of this fight and she was pretty sure whoever won wouldn't hesitate to claim those bragging rights and rub it in the loser's face whenever possible.
She supposed the only real difference in this particular night—other than the hyped rematch—was her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so simultaneously nervous and on edge and excited. These were extenuating circumstances and it was only fair that she was appropriately feeling a little out of her body at the moment. Her uncle hadn't needed to tell her to be at the fight tonight but he'd summoned her anyways and the car was waiting outside her door whether she was ready or not.
Wanting to avoid any comments about her choice of outfit—good or bad—she had decided to play it safe tonight with a pair of tight dark skinny jeans and a slightly sheer flowy white top, skipping the heels in favor of flats—even though she knew she couldn't do much to mask her limp. She knew she needed to be mindful of what her uncle was expecting from her. Jeans and a T-shirt still didn't really cut it and she knew that—what she was wearing tonight was sexy, a little revealing, and not at all like something a hooker would wear. If she was being completely honest with herself, she knew her efforts tonight weren't for anyone's benefit but her own. She wanted Jax to see her from the other side of the ring and she wanted him to like what he saw.
As she ventured further into the throngs surrounding the ring, she tried desperately to shake herself out of those thoughts. Ever since he'd walked out of her house and into the darkness the night before, Jax had been all she could think about and it was driving her crazy. When she closed her eyes, she saw him smiling down at her. When she looked down, she imagined his hands skimming around her waist and hoisting her up into his arms. She could still feel his lips moving against hers and she had to blow out a shaky breath just to get her bearings back.
The closer she edged to the ring, the harder it was not to stand on her tiptoes to eagerly search for Jax. Luckily, her injury kept her from actually doing that-there were too many prying eyes on both sides and she just needed to keep her cool. The absolute last thing she could allow herself to do now was cheer Jax on. That would raise a lot of questions and she was already in the shit with her uncle for bailing the night before.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"You better be on your best behavior tonight, Ava," her uncle spat at her as he pulled her to the front of the bleachers. No hello—nothing…polite and charming as always.
"Hi, Uncle Ernest," she replied flatly. There was no need to pretend to be happy to see him. It didn't really matter anyways.
"Look," he jabbed a finger at her, his eyes blazing. "Your little disappearing act last night was very clever—that'd better never happen again, you understand?"
She swallowed and nodded, the cold chill of fear pricking down the back of her spine. She knew better than to challenge him, especially here, and she knew she was going to have to play by the rules tonight and make sure she left on his terms. Maybe she would get lucky and Jax would pummel Eric so far into the ground he wouldn't be able to see or stand straight for at least a week. A girl could hope.
Settling herself down into the front bleacher, she did her best not to make eye contact with Eric. Just the thought of him made her want to alternately vomit and punch him in the face although neither one would do her any favors. All she wanted to do was avoid him like the plague but she had a feeling that batting him down was going to take more effort than she bargained for. At some point, he was going to stop taking no for an answer and now that he'd already stepped over the boundary, he was just going to keep pushing until he eventually got what he wanted.
She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath and in spite of the crowds of people around her, she'd never felt so alone. Any semblance of control she might've had over this situation was gone the moment Eric kissed her and practically molested her right out in the open. She could struggle, she could keep fighting him off, she could keep making excuses but sooner or later, she would run out of windows to jump out of, both figuratively and literally. What options did she really have? If she refused to show up, she was risking the safety of her cousin and she knew full well that her uncle wasn't above offering up family to serve his agenda.
With another deep breath, her eyes drifted across the ring. It didn't take long for them to land on Jax, who was waiting patiently on his end as Opie taped up his knuckles. He looked calm despite the mounting excitement around him and he grinned at something Opie leaned down to say to him. An image of him pressed up against her on her kitchen counter flashed across her mind and her breath heaved in a little quicker.
As if on cue, Jax's eyes flicked up and then seared right through her, rooting her into the cold bleacher seat beneath her. The earlier paranoia was gone from her mind and she could've sat there staring back at him all night. His lips curved up into a sexy lop-sided grin as his eyes took her in and then he nodded to her from where he sat in acknowledgement. Suddenly, everything seemed to fade into the background—the noise, the people crowding around her, the grimness of her current predicament—it was just all gone.
Part of her wished they hadn't been interrupted the night before. They were headed in a promising direction and it was already better than what she'd allowed herself to fantasize. But it was dangerous and reckless-they'd been playing with fire last night by blindly throwing caution to the wind. It could've very easily been her uncle who'd walked through her door or at the very least, one of his men coming to look for her and she was still uncomfortable with the fact that Allie had caught them in that position. It wasn't like they were just kissing either—he was shirtless and she had her legs wrapped around his waist—they were clearly headed to her bedroom. Even in her embarrassment, she still couldn't help but regret that Allie had come home that night. She'd wanted to finish what they started in the kitchen and at that moment, consequences were the furthest thought from her mind.
A loud whistle thrust her out of her thoughts as Jax and Eric took their places inside the ring. The chubby, curly-haired man from Samcro recited the rules and stressed that since this was a rematch, the winnings were double or nothing for this particular fight, eliciting a thunderous cheer from the crowd. Jax was bouncing around the ring now as Eric advanced on him and she watched, enthralled, as they repeated very similar strategies from the fight before. Eric swung but this time, Jax jerked backwards and just narrowly missed the blow to the jaw, instead throwing his fist around to connect with Eric's left eye.
The crowd roared as this first real punch landed and she knew she was in for a show tonight. The same sinewy, hard muscles were on display and something stirred in her stomach when she caught a glimpse of the Reaper tattoo on Jax's back. She had a sudden urge to trail a hand down each line of that tattoo, sweat and all. She could almost see herself straddling him so she could really explore each dot of ink and she had to bit her lip to keep herself from cheering when Jax landed another blow right into Eric's cheek. He really was going to kick Eric's ass tonight and showed no signs of slowing down.
It was going to be difficult to keep herself on the Nord side once this was over. With each swing of his fist, she found herself falling deeper into the abyss. Sure, it was dangerous but she was starting to like that feeling. The prospect of doing something that she wasn't supposed to just made it all the more attractive—why couldn't they finish what they'd started? If Allie hadn't come home, they would have so what difference did it really make? If anything, she was just even more aware of what she'd be missing if they didn't.
There was no doubt in her mind he'd be all for it—especially since he'd told her as much the night they met and if last night was any indication, he had already been heading there anyways. He'd said they could do it without getting caught and it was probably true. If they were careful and discreet, they could keep it under everyone's noses and pretend like nothing had happened. That thought alone propelled her mind forward and she figured, by now, she was getting better and better at being careful and discreet—this would just be one more exercise in that art. They wouldn't be able to finish this at her house, not with Allie hanging around but there were probably other ways to go about it. She didn't have much experience in secret rendezvous but she could work it out.
Her mind wandered back to Jax's words that night outside Lucky's—it would be the ultimate fuck you to her uncle and Eric and now, after everything that had happened and was most likely bound to happen, she felt like she should exercise the little control she had left. Sweet revenge, he'd said and he had been so right. Not to mention the fact that she wanted to wrap her legs around him again so badly she was practically panting. Her predicament under the Nords' influence was never going to change but there were plenty of ways to alleviate that pain.
It was a natural progression stemming from their flirtation at Lucky's and wasn't this just an extension of what she'd wanted to do by taking that job in the first place? She decided to embrace this newfound rebellious streak—working on Samcro's side of town, refusing to dress 'appropriately', making clean getaways when she knew she was supposed to stay, all in the name of pissing off her uncle. And while the drive to commit the ultimate fuck you, as Jax had so eloquently put it, might not have been enough to put this into action, her desire to have everything she wasn't supposed to have pushed her over the edge. All she'd done the last few weeks was everything everyone else wanted her to and it was time to put her own wants and desires first for once.
And when Jax knocked Eric clear into next week, coming away the clear winner in this rematch, she didn't miss the fact that the second his arm was raised in the air in victory, his flashing blue eyes landed firmly, almost victoriously, directly on her.
If beating the shit out of Miles wasn't enough to make Jax's night, the sight of him being hauled off to a hospital definitely did it. He'd never felt so motivated in a fight before tonight, so ready to just pummel through anything and everything that moved and the reason for this motivation was staring right back at him. His knuckles were screaming at him and blood was dripping into his eyes but he didn't give a shit. This was better than any high he'd ever experienced before—natural and engineered combined. Of course, the fact that he'd just won the club $30,000 directly out of the Nord bank account didn't hurt matters either.
As he hopped up to Samcro's bleachers, Opie met him halfway with a towel and a water bottle.
"Thanks, bro," Jax panted, tugging at the binding around his hands. He winced when the tape pulled and wasn't at all surprised by the blots of blood—his fists might've as well punched through a wall tonight. It wasn't going to feel so great in the morning or even in a couple of hours but who really gave a shit? Time to bask in the glory of pounding Eric Miles into oblivion.
"What the hell got into you tonight, brother?" Opie asked with an incredulous expression.
He shrugged, trying not to wince at the sharp pain in his shoulder. "I guess I just really wanted to win."
Opie arched an eyebrow at him. "No shit—I can't remember the last time I saw you fight like that. You saw him get carried off, right? I think Darby's takin' him to the hospital."
Jax nodded smugly and he knew he had ever right to feel that way. "Yes, I did, bro. And let me tell you, it's a fuckin' sight for sore eyes.
"It was like you were possessed or something." Opie laughed, shaking his head.
Maybe I was, Jax thought as he leaned his elbows back into the bleachers. He wasn't about to pretend like he didn't know just what gotten into him but he had no intention of letting Ope in on that either.
"You want a beer or anything?" Opie was asking him now.
"Sure, bro," he answered with a quick shrug.
Grateful to have a little recovery time alone—and Wendy no where in sight-Jax dropped his head onto the bench behind him and blew out a deep breath. Part of him was glad it was over. He'd been looking forward to this moment all week but while he'd been confident in his own abilities, a tiny voice had nagged at him that Miles could be on the exact same adrenaline rush as him and if that were the case, the win wasn't as sewn up as he would've liked.
But his drive had come out the victor in the end and that was all he could ask for.
Out of the corner of his eye, a flash of white and blonde started moving across the Nord bleachers and he allowed himself to finally really take her in during this quiet moment. She looked absolutely beautiful and a far cry from what he'd encountered the night before. She'd still been gorgeous as ever through her tears but the Halloween costume just wasn't her, even if it had allowed him several eyefuls of the body he craved so much. The vision floating around thirty feet away from him seemed more like her and concentrating on anything but her had been trying at best. He just wanted more of her now. He'd had a taste and it was just an agonizing tease of what it could've been. They'd been so close too…just a few more steps, just a few more minutes and he would've been buried in everything he'd been fantasizing about for the last two weeks.
The knowledge that he'd tasted her, felt her smooth legs wrapped around his waist, felt her hands tangled up in his hair, had her soft lips pressed against him, her sweet tongue in his mouth…hell, he'd even had her on the back of his bike—it had all served as the best motivation he could've ever asked for tonight. The second he'd stepped into the ring with Miles, he knew he had him. There was just nothing better than that.
His only regret was that he hadn't been able to finish what he had started with Ava the night before. It was going to drive him completely crazy and he knew, deep down, that another opportunity like that might never present itself again. Last night was an extenuating circumstance—she'd been crying, stressed, and scared all in the span of about an hour and he couldn't have stopped himself even if he wanted to. Her shining blue eyes were so trusting, so confident that he would take care of her and he would've rather cut his own hand off before letting her down. So when he kissed her, it had started out as a need to comfort her. After the way she'd been manhandled by Miles, he wanted to wipe that from her memory and give her something that made her feel the way she was supposed to—and then he'd completely lost his shit. Not that he really regretted it though. It felt too good for him to regret and, given the way she was staring back at him now, he had a feeling she didn't regret it either.
He kept his eyes trained on her as she stepped over to one of Darby's lackeys. They spoke for a few moments and then they were walking back down towards the rows of cars in the darkness. For a split second, he almost leapt off the bleacher to go after her. He had no fucking idea who this guy was, where he was planning on taking her or what the hell was going to happen when they got there. Just as his sore knuckles fisted tightly over the edge of the bleacher, she looked over her shoulder—directly at him—and smiled back at him reassuringly, letting him know that she wasn't in any danger. He felt himself immediately relax but kept his hands still firmly gripped underneath him so he couldn't wave to her.
"Here you go, bro," Opie appeared back at his side and handed Jax a cold beer, yanking him clear out of his thoughts.
Jax immediately recovered from his initial surprise and took a long pull from the bottle. "Thanks, man."
Despite his best efforts to cover where his attention had been only moments before, Opie's gaze flitted to the other side of the ring and landed directly onto Ava's retreating back. When Opie's disapproving, suspicious eyes flew back to him, Jax tried to play it cool and act like he had no idea what the problem was. Too bad Opie knew him better than he knew himself.
"Really, Jax?" Opie asked with an arched eyebrow back at him. "Just can't seem to ignore her, can ya?"
Choosing to just ignore him instead, Jax dug into his back pocket for his cigarettes and wasted no time in lighting one up. The hit of nicotine did wonders for his nerves even if Opie's judgmental presence wasn't helping. He puffed away in silence for a few moments, grateful for the semblance of quiet away from the celebration going on yards away, until Opie's gruff, albeit concerned, voice floated around him.
"Everything alright, Jax?"
He flicked some ash out in front of him and shrugged. "I'm fine, bro. Just tired—kinda sucks the life out of the party, huh?"
"Nah," Opie shook his head. "You were like a fuckin' madman in there tonight; I doubt anyone would blame you if you just went back to the clubhouse and passed out."
"It's not like Miles is around so gloating just doesn't sound like all that much fun anyways," Jax stated smugly. "But I'm thinking my dorm, a few bottles of beer, and some ice sounds like a pretty good idea right about now."
"Well," Opie gestured behind Jax. "If you're gonna go, I suggest you get movin' because Wendy is right behind you."
Jax grimaced and ran a hand over his face. He was in no mood to deal with her clingy bullshit tonight and was beginning to wish he'd never let her in his bed in the first place. The ratio of her bullshit to his willingness to put up with it for pussy was becoming staggering. He'd traded crazy for reliability in his laziness and knew reliability could easily be found elsewhere. His bed, a few beers, and some ice were looking really good right about now.
So he slapped Opie on the shoulder and hopped off the bleacher. He waved back to his chuckling best friend and started ambling towards his bike. It didn't take long for Wendy to call after him but he chose to just ignore her as he slipped his shirt and cut back on—now that he'd decided to go back to the clubhouse, he just wanted to get there. It would be nice if he could do that without getting interrupted for once.
"Yo, Jax!" Tig called out to him. "Where you goin', bro?"
"Clubhouse," he yelled back.
That seemed to appease Tig and he just waved back to him as Jax continued on his trek towards his bike. Clay saluted him as he passed and he was grateful no one was telling him he needed to stay. There really was no point anyways—most of the Nords had cleared out, probably hanging their heads in shame and given that Darby and Miles weren't even here anymore, he didn't see a reason why he needed to sit here any longer. All he wanted to do was take a shower and crash.
The clubhouse was like a ghost town and for once, he thought as he passed by the bar and headed down the hallway, it was actually kind of a relief. No hang-arounds, no croweaters, no prospects…everyone who would've been here was still at the ring celebrating. It was rare to see this place so empty and in that emptiness, he could clearly see just how run down it had gotten over the years. With a packed house, you couldn't quite see that some tiles had cracked on the floor or that the booths closest to the pool table were starting to peel away. Of course, the wear and tear was just from good, hard use and Jax didn't see anything wrong that but at some point, the old place was going to need a little love and a little renovation—something he might not have noticed on any other night.
By the time he was tossing his cut onto the bed, he was seriously contemplating skipping the shower. Sure, he smelled like shit but he could shower in the morning. Lighting up a cigarette, he blew out the first inhale and felt himself instantly calm. Hell, he could probably just put out the cig, roll into bed, and pass out right now.
His phone buzzing in his back pocket halted his current train of thought and he dug it out of his back pocket. When he saw who was calling, his heart just about dropped into his stomach. His eyes flew to the alarm clock on his night stand—it was 11:30—why the hell would she be calling now unless something was wrong? The little moment of relaxation he'd just had was completely wiped off the table. He immediately threw his cut back on as he flipped open his phone, preparing himself to hightail it out of the clubhouse if she needed him to.
"Ava?" He answered worriedly.
"Hey Jax," her voice sounded calm, a little nervous maybe but nothing like the night before. Those two simple words sent a huge sigh of relief through his lungs.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she was saying now.
"No…nothing," Jax replied quickly, maybe a little too quickly to his liking. "I'm just sitting in my dorm."
"Your dorm?"
"Yeah," he laughed. "My room at the clubhouse—that's where I live, darlin'."
"Ah, I see…I didn't know that, sorry. Well, since you're not doing anything too important, I just wanted to call and tell you congratulations on your big win tonight. I don't normally enjoy that kind of stuff but I can honestly say I enjoyed every second of your fight tonight."
He grinned smugly at her words and ran a hand over his stubble. It didn't really matter that her reason for calling was trivial; he was just enjoying the sound of her voice.
"So I take it you're okay then, huh?" He threw out just for good measure.
Her laugh rang out like a bell through the phone and he smiled at the sound. "I got home safe and sound, thank you very much."
"Well, shit—here I thought I might get to go rescue you again. Maybe next time, right?"
"Wow," she laughed. "So you're saying you were hoping I had jumped out another window? Nice."
"You know what I meant," he shot back lightly. He was liking this back and forth with her more and more…he couldn't remember the last time he'd had this much fun trading digs with someone, let alone a chick. Normally, he didn't bother much with the conversation aspect of his interactions with women. This, however, was a different story.
"So what are you doin' tonight, darlin'? Something with me, I hope," he joked.
"Well," she started slowly. "It's funny you should ask that…"
He immediately noticed the hitch in her voice and inhaled deeply from his now-dwindling cigarette to keep himself in check. There was no sense getting over-excited about something he couldn't control.
"There's this motel I've been meaning to check out," she continued shakily and he felt himself sinking down to his bed as she spoke. "But the problem is, it's a little out of town and it's late and I'm kinda worried it might not be safe to be there all by myself."
He rubbed his mouth as he considered what she was really telling him here and was suddenly grateful he was sitting down. It had taken him a moment to figure out what she was asking him and figured it was only fair—after all, he'd played this very same game with her the night they met. A split second later, as the weight of her words settled around him, he was on his feet and abruptly mashed his spent cigarette in the ashtray by his bed.
"Well, we can't have that, now can we? So where's this motel at?"
No sense in beating around the bush and he had zero interest in wasting any time here.
"It's right off the highway," the surprise was evident in her reply. "About five miles out of town or so—it's the El Rancho Motel…pretty classy, I know, but it's cheap and it's not in Charming."
"Sounds good to me, darlin'…I still gotta shower from the fight but I can be there in about a half hour if that works for you."
"Yeah," she replied quickly. "That's fine. So…"
"So I'll see you there?"
"I'll see you there, Jax."
"Can't wait, darlin'."
With that, he tossed his phone onto his bed and started peeling off his still sweaty clothes. If he was going to get there in a half hour like he promised, he needed to get his shit in gear. Besides, right about now, the only place he wanted to be was holed up in a room at El Rancho Motel with the girl who'd been on his mind for the past two weeks.
As he threw his Reaper T-shirt haphazardly onto the floor and hustled towards the bathroom, he found himself practically busting away at the seams with nervous energy. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt that emotion in relation to being with a woman—and he had no idea what had made her suddenly change her mind but wasn't stupid enough to ask any questions, at least not before her spent naked body was lying against him. They were about to finish what they had started the night before and he just wanted to get there, to get inside that room with her so he could just let go and stop thinking.
If he was being completely honest with himself, part of why he was hurrying so much was the underlying fear that she would change her mind before he got there. Not that he'd blame her—they were about to wade into uncharted waters here and even though he knew he should, he couldn't have cared less.
"Here's the key for your room, ma'am; all I need is your signature right here," the desk clerk pointed down at the print-out of her receipt and handed Ava a pen as he spoke.
She quickly scribbled her name on the paper and abruptly pushed it back to him. When the clerk glanced up at her in surprise, she smiled sheepishly, silently cursing her nerves. Without another word, she swept the key off the counter and retreated backwards towards the exit. There was still no sign of Jax and she wasn't entirely sure if this was a good or a bad thing. While she was grateful for a few brief moments to collect herself, she worried that if she sat here too long, she might lose her nerve altogether and throw the key back at the clerk.
Part of her still couldn't believe she'd even made that call in the first place. She had stared at her phone for a good five minutes before summoning up enough courage to dial Jax's number and even then, she'd almost hung up the second he answered. The fact that he'd agreed to her subtle proposition without any hesitation still had her off-balance. He'd known exactly what she was getting at almost instantly and then had just rolled with it…no questions, no affirmations, all he'd asked for was information about the motel, which, much to her dismay, was much seedier in person than it had seemed online.
What was she doing? This was probably the worst idea she'd ever had—nothing good could possibly come of this and she wasn't doing herself any favors by tasting the forbidden fruit. But at the same time, hadn't she convinced herself that she'd earned this the last few weeks? She deserved a little bit of happiness; she deserved something good…and to be touched and kissed by a man that she actually wanted, and shit, did she want him.
With a deep exhale, she knew it was time to stop thinking and over-analyzing this. She'd gotten this far, even if she had been a little sidetracked by trying to decide which pair of bra and panties she should wear—she'd forgotten how stressful that decision was—so all she had to do was go a little further and get herself inside the room. Once she was there and he was there, she was certain there would be no doubts in her mind about what was happening. Nerves were starting to get the better of her and the first step was as simple as stepping out the lobby door and back into the parking lot.
Not wanting to allow for any more opportunities to psych herself out, she abruptly gripped the room key in one hand and pushed the lobby door open with the other. The cool night air had an instant calming effect and a renewed sense of resolve propelled her further out into the parking lot as she headed towards room 106. When the roar of a motorcycle engine echoed through the empty lot, the sound rooted her to the pavement.
Maybe it was nervousness or agitation or something in between, but instead of staying frozen in place, she fumbled with her purse as she practically sprinted the remaining distance between her and the door to the room. Maybe she just felt awkward watching him drive up into the parking lot, knowing that he was coming there to sleep with her and after they were finished, they would both leave and return back to their own lives. That wasn't a feeling she was used to—sex without attachment, which was exactly what this had to be—and she didn't quite know how she felt about the fact that this was a situation Jax was probably more accustomed to than she'd like to know.
She turned back towards the parking lot just as he pulled up right next to her Corolla. He swung his leg over the side of his bike, simultaneously snapping off his helmet, and nodded to her with that sexy, lop-sided smirk that suddenly made her lose all feeling in her knees. Chewing on her bottom lip in nervous anxiousness, she pressed a tiny smile across her lips and abruptly turned on her heel to open the door. The weight of what was about to happen was a little too heavy and she hastily stepped into the room.
It wasn't much but it was clean—although it did have a slight musty stench and a few stains on the carpet—it wasn't exactly what she had pictured, but then again, she had no idea what to expect here. More than anything, she was grateful for the momentary distraction from the fact that Jax was coming in right behind her. His wind-chilled hand grazed her hip and her eyes closed instinctively at the feeling, barely registering that he lightly kicked the door shut behind them. This was it…no going back now, not that she really wanted to as his other hand slid around her and his warm lips pressed lightly into her neck.
When he gently turned her around to face him, there was no paralyzing fear, no inclination to hide in the bathroom; she was exactly where she wanted to be right now. What came after this fleeting night of surrender was suddenly of little consequence—they would figure that out later; for now, she was going to enjoy every moment for what it was worth.
As she shifted in his arms, her eyes drifted up to collide with his shimmering pool of blues and her breath hitched in her throat. A slow, lazy grin spread across his face as he pulled her even closer.
"Hey," he murmured into her ear.
"Hi," she tried to cover up her nervousness with a light laugh but figured he'd seen right through it.
His hands scaled up her arms until they were resting gently on both sides of her neck and leaned his head back to better gauge her current state of anxiety.
"You alright, Ava?"
She nodded slowly and stepped closer so she could press a light kiss into his lips. It was fitting that she was the one to really get this going; after all, she'd been the one to call him in the first place—it was clear he was going to let her set the pace and she was grateful for that. A split second later, his hands were on her hips again and she twisted her arms around his neck to pull him closer as they stepped deeper inside the room.
Her purse dropped to the floor as the gentle, easy kiss abruptly shifted into something hungrier, needier and her mouth parted to let him in. Then her hands were easing the cut off his shoulders and skimming underneath his white Reaper T-shirt. Following her lead, he quickly pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the carpet at their feet. Their mouths collided again and she hadn't realized how much she'd missed the feeling of his lips on hers—it was like something was erupting inside of her and she saw stars when his tongue slid through her parted lips.
As if her fingers had a will of their own, they yanked him closer to her by his belt and unclasped the buckle a second later. A quick flick of her wrist and his fly was down—he obliged her the rest of the way and hastily kicked himself free of his jeans. Before she even realized what was happening, her arms were up and her tank top was flying over her head. His eyes seemed to glaze over at the sight of her black lacy bra with enough lift to give her a little cleavage and he paused to trace his fingers lightly down the middle of her chest. It was amazing, she thought with a shiver, that only a day ago, she'd recoiled at the cold, slimy sensation of Eric's hand closing around her breast and now here she was, in a low-end motel room with stained carpets loving the feeling of his worst enemy doing the exact same thing. Jax had been completely right—there really was nothing better than this feeling.
"Come 'ere, darlin'," he whispered as he pulled her closer and reached down to undo her jeans. His mouth descended on hers again—his hands still prying her jeans away—and she felt herself melt into him; her hands locked around his neck with no intention of letting go anytime soon and a moment later, was barely aware of the fact that they were now standing by the bed in their underwear.
She pulled her lips away to playfully shove him in his hard, muscled chest until he fell onto the bed on his back with a low chuckle. With a sly grin, she crawled over him so she straddled him and a warm sensation shot through her stomach when her skin rubbed against the hardness underneath his boxers. She held herself up by her elbows, her bottom lip catching under her front teeth as she grinned triumphantly down at him.
"I've been wanting to do this for two weeks," she whispered conspiratorially to him and his head tilted backwards as a low rumbling erupted in his chest.
"Really?" he laughed. "You could've fooled me, darlin'. I think you know where I stand on this one…"
"Yeah, I do," she replied, suddenly feeling a little vulnerable even though she was the one on top.
He solved that problem by leaning forward to capture her lips again and wound his arms around her back to expertly unclasp her bra with one hand, playfully hurling the lacy material to the side of the bed.
"Wow," she laughed against his lips. "Didn't know you could do that…"
"Wait 'til you see what else I can do." He murmured sexily.
She chuckled again but he abruptly cut it short when his tongue slid back into her mouth. His hands were kneading gently into her breasts as his thumbs skimmed lightly over her nipples and she groaned softly into his mouth. Wanting to return the favor, her hand drifted to the aggressive bulge inside his boxers and her fingers slid underneath his waistband until she gripped him firmly in her hand. With smooth, consistent strokes, she had him groaning into her mouth within ten seconds.
A beat later, he whirled them around until her back hit the rough comforter and he settled easily in between her legs. His head dipped lower to leave a light trail of kisses down the side of her neck and with each gently placed kiss, her entire body shivered. His lips continued their explorations down to her breasts, where he spent amble time on each one—culminating in one long lap of his tongue in the space between her breasts, making her sigh shakily as her hands twisted in his hair.
Then there was nothing but air above her as he practically leapt off the bed to rummage around in his jeans. She barely had time to get a grip on herself and then he was hovering over her again, easing himself in between her thighs as he pushed himself free of his boxers.
"I'm sorry, Ava," he whispered down to her. "I can't wait anymore…you're drivin' me crazy here."
She nodded, unable to find the words to express what she was feeling right now—a mix of nervous anxiety, anticipation, and excitement. Through her hazy vision, she barely registered him ripping open a foil package and sliding the condom on over himself. He was settled in between her legs again and she reflexively hitched a thigh up against his hip to give him easier access—she was done with foreplay too. No more waiting. No more thinking.
As they came down, he pressed a soft kiss into her lips and grinned lazily against them; then he eased himself out of her and rolled over so they lied shoulder to shoulder on the bed. It didn't even matter to her that they weren't covered up; she pushed back a tendril of wet hair off her sweaty forehead and blew out a thoroughly spent exhale. Only when he slid off the bed and staggered over to the bathroom did she pull the covers back and slid in.
She nestled into the blankets, feeling completely at ease for the first time in…well, since she didn't know when but she figured it had something to do with that he had given her the most intense, whole body orgasm that she'd ever had. Yeah, that was probably it. It wasn't like she was inexperienced; she'd had her fair share of partners but none had touched her and moved inside her with the expertise that Jax had. He'd known exactly what angle to hit, exactly the pace and momentum needed for the maximum sensation and when her body had finally given in, it had felt like something opened up inside her and sent ripples of shockwaves all the way through her body.
It had never been like that before—that intense, that passionate and she wasn't sure if it was the physical connection they obviously had or the situation they were in. They'd just committed an act that, while more satisfying than she'd ever anticipated, also had the underlying thrill of the risk and danger they'd be in if they were ever found out. That was part of what had driven her to make the call tonight in the first place and throwing caution to the wind had felt really, really good.
Jax materialized from the bathroom and dug a pack of cigarettes and his lighter out of his jeans before pulling his boxers back on over his hips. He motioned with his head for her to give him some room and he slid into bed with her as she scooted over to the left side of the bed. He held the pack out to her and wrapped his lips around one after she slipped a cigarette out of the pack; a beat later, an open flame was held out to her and when she inhaled, he quickly lit his own before flicking the flame down. They puffed in silence for a few moments, still lying shoulder to shoulder as the smoke billowed around them.
"Can I ask you something, Ava?" his quiet voice broke through the silence.
"Sure."
"What made you change your mind?"
That felt like a loaded question and he seemed to know it, which was probably why he was still staring directly up at the ceiling. She toyed with just giving him a stock, simple answer—even though the true reason was far from simple because she didn't quite understand it herself. Yet, she had no reason to give him anything but the truth. She had nothing to hide now and while they'd been physically connected only moments before, the remnants of that union were still lingering around them.
"It's complicated, I guess," she started with a sigh. It was probably best to start at the beginning and it was easier to talk to him like this when she didn't have to meet him in the eye.
"I think I can keep up, Ava," he replied softly.
With a quick inhale for courage, she gathered up what little resolve she could find. "I suppose the simplest explanation would be that your…proposition…started to sound like a good idea after all. After what happened last night, the idea of giving them 'the ultimate fuck you', like you said, was too good to resist."
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him nodding at her words and in the absence of his reply, decided to forge ahead. Why not tell him everything she was really feeling? There was no way they'd be able to do this again anyways…so what did it really matter?
"But I guess, if I'm being really honest with myself…I think I just wanted something good for once, Jax."
His head snapped to face her at this new admission and she couldn't stop herself from turning to meet him head-on. She pushed her cigarette into the ashtray next to her side of the bed and he quickly followed suit. When his attention was fully back on her, they were still lying side by side, but this time, they were turned so they faced each other and it was scary as hell.
"What do you mean, Ava?" His soft, worry-laden voice enveloped her and she had to close her eyes at the comforting sound. He was edging a little bit closer to her and rested a hand lightly on her hip to calm her.
"Last night….with Eric…"
Jax's eyes immediately darkened at the mention of his name and she could see his entire body tense.
"He didn't hurt me, Jax," she reassured him shakily. "He kissed me, he grabbed my ass, grabbed my boob—and I didn't want him to do any of that. It kinda made me sick to be honest with you. And then when you brought me home and…it just felt so good to want it, you know what I mean? I wanted what you were doing and I didn't want it to stop…and, not gonna lie, it was a real fuckin' turn on to see you beat the shit out of him like that…"
He grinned at her words and pulled her closer until she was pressed tightly against his bare chest. She nestled her forehead into his skin and inhaled the smell of leather, sweat, and grease.
"I guess I just wanted to be with somebody that wasn't out to just take..."
His eyes seemed to cloud over and he quickly dipped his head lower to catch her lips against his. He kissed her slow and deep and she found herself thinking, once again, that it was such a relief to be lying in his arms right now. At that moment, it felt like nothing could touch them—they were closed off from the outside world in this little motel room and she wanted to savor this feeling for as long as possible. The second they left it, they would have to go back to acting like they didn't know what this felt like.
"You know if that ever happens again…" he trailed off hoarsely as if he was searching for the right words. "You know you can tell me, right?"
She nodded into his chest and his arms tightened around her as she buried her cheek against him. Suddenly, she was very aware that very soon this would be over and she would be forced to pry herself out of his arms, put her clothes back on, and face what waited for her in Charming alone. Right now, she didn't have to take all this on by herself—he was here, offering her support, willing to protect her as much as he was able. In Charming, that was easier said than done.
"How much longer can you stay?" She glanced up at him and saw her current state mirrored back at her in his eyes.
He sighed and lolled to his left until his head was pressed back into his pillow. A hand ran over his face and he glanced at the alarm clock over her shoulder before resting his gaze back to her.
"Probably not too much longer," he admitted regretfully. "Some of the guys are probably gonna be heading back to the clubhouse and I told Ope I was goin' there."
"Right," she nodded. "Time to get back to the real world, huh?"
He pulled her back towards him again and kissed her forehead softly. "I'm not gonna lie, darlin', I really don't want to leave right now. Do you think we can do this again?"
She chuckled against his chest as she considered his question. He was just full of loaded questions tonight.
"Do you think we could really get away with it again?" She asked finally.
He just shrugged. "I don't see why not…this motel idea wasn't too bad, by the way. We're out of Charming, away from anyone we wouldn't want to see us comin' or goin'…"
She sighed and rolled onto her back, almost grateful that she'd pulled herself out of his arms. It had to happen sooner or later and the more she thought about it, the more doing this again seemed like a bad idea. Sure, they'd managed to get away with meeting here once—that they knew of at least—but if it became a habit, they were setting themselves up to fall face first into deep shit. That wasn't a risk she was prepared to take.
"I don't know, Jax," she exhaled with tired resignation. "I think it might be too dangerous to push our luck here…"
It was more dangerous for her than it was for him and she hoped she didn't need to explain that. It was already going to be difficult enough to leave this room tonight, let alone get in her car and drive back to Charming—she didn't want to have to dwell on that any longer than necessary.
"Yeah, you're right," he murmured hoarsely. "You're right…so this is it then?"
"I think it has to be."
He leaned forward to press a soft, gentle kiss into her lips and then slowly slid his tongue inside her mouth. She closed her eyes at the feeling, knowing this was going to be the last time she would feel this. She wasn't ready for it to end…if only there was a way they could stay here for the rest of the night without anyone noticing they were gone so they could hang on just a little bit longer. But considering the fact that Jax was Samcro's VP and she was the niece of his enemy's leader, there was no use in tempting fate—especially when she already knew what the outcome would be.
A few minutes later, she was pulling her tank top over her head and dreading stepping outside. She cast a weary glance over to Jax, now fully dressed and leaning against the TV stand as he observed her with somber, cloudy eyes. It was clear neither of them really wanted to leave. When she slid back into her flip-flops and grabbed hold of her long-forgotten purse on the floor, she felt a strong pair of calloused hands encircle her waist and pull her into his chest. She leaned into the leather and inhaled him one more time.
"Hey," he leaned his head back a little as he spoke. "I know we can't do this again but I fuckin' enjoyed every second of it, Ava."
"I did too," she whispered into his chest. It had somehow managed to exceed all her fantasies and expectations combined.
"You've still got my number…" He waited for her to nod in affirmation before continuing. "And you'll call me if you need something, right?"
"I will, Jax." Why did she feel like crying right now?
His thumb grazed her cheek and he leaned forward to kiss her one last time. It was slow and full of everything they were feeling—need, hunger, worry, relief, frustration, ambivalence—it was all there. And when they were ventured out into the cool night air, him stalking towards his bike and her heading towards the lobby to check them out of the room, all she could focus on was the extreme sense of loss that deepened the further they moved away from each other. The alarming tightening in her chest only sent her reeling that much deeper into this wave she was riding and she had no idea how she was ever going to come out the other side of this in one piece.
As he hitched his leg over the side of his bike and shot her a reassuring, sexy smirk, the thundering of her heart only intensified. When his bike disappeared into the darkness, the weight of what had just happened finally, mercilessly encircled her—there was no going back now. What was done was done and even though she would never regret these short few hours they'd spent together, she knew that life as she knew it had just been altered completely.
A/N-Sorry for the long wait with this one. Real life just keeps getting in the way...please let me know what you think! Your feedback keeps me going!