Fractured.

Time seemed to move very slowly for Spock yet not at all. The single tear he had shed seemed to have been a turning point in his emotions. When before he had felt battered and bruised as if being tormented in the violent storms of Dante's second circle, now it was as if his body and part of his mind were being brutally battered but another part of him was looking down at it in abstract. A part completely devoid of emotions and as darkly empty as the void he had felt in Nyota. This was not like the usual balance he felt, that knowledge of emotions but being able to act logically and apart from them. That was a comfortable feeling. This one he felt he should worry about but it seemed he did not have the energy for concern. He also seemed to notice that along with the absence of emotions there was an absence of logic; all that existed was emptiness and the occasional slow to form observation about how strange a feeling it was and how unique it was in his life time. He wondered if he was in shock or had entered into a deep depression but even these ponderings did not draw either logical assessment or emotional reaction.

Four hours and nineteen minutes exactly after Nyota had fallen asleep he started to become aware of her awakening. With it, like a slow tide rising he began to be reconnected with is body. Far from being relieved at the end of his disassociation he sharply felt the return of pain and anger. He did not stir but allowed himself to become aware of the sun setting over the horizon and the slight warm breeze that was coming from the west. When he heard the opening of a door his head turned towards the house. He knew before the figure appeared in the doorway that Mr. Uhura was coming to tell him that Nyota was awake. He felt a slight ache in his muscles as he stood to met him.

" Hey Spock." Mr. Uhura seemed to hesitate. Maybe he found it strange that Spock had been sat outside for the last five hours without once moving from his position.

" I was meditating." Spock said finding the lie surprisingly easy.

" Oh, I thought maybe you were avoiding my wife and son."

" Why would I wish to avoid members of Nyota's family?"

" Because they're annoyed at you because they think you're keeping information from them."

" I am keeping information from them."

" Because Nyota asked you to?"

" Not asked, I inferred from her behaviour it was what she wished. It is admittedly an illogical decision on her part but it is her decision to make."

Mr. Uhura seemed to consider that.

" I can't say I'm not concerned, Ny has always been very honest with me. I have to wonder what's so bad that she feels she can't come to me with it. " He looked up at Spock. " But she trusts you with it. Though disappointed she can't come to me I'm glad she doesn't have to go through this alone."

" She did not tell me at first. I believe vocalizing it solidifies it for her."

" I've never known there to be a problem Ny couldn't face head on."

" Neither have I."

" All these years she's been the strong one of the family; she's always been the last to cry the last one to lose her temper. Perhaps I have expected too much from her, perhaps being strong all the time draws on some kind of energy reserves that have finally run out."

" I do not follow your reasoning." Spock confessed.

" I think she needs a holiday from being strong."

" I still do not follow you. You came to tell me that Nyota has awoken and you wish for me to see her." Spock said finding he did not wish to discuss Nyota's reasons for acting in the way she had. What shocked him to discover was that he didn't wish Mr. Uhura to stir any sympathy for Nyota in him, the things she had said were incomprehensible to him and yet he understood the meaning that were assigned to those words, the meaning of the combinations of them.
Mr. Uhura nodded.

" Yes I was."

" I shall come."

Spock started towards the house Mr. Uhura keeping pace a few steps behind hiim. It felt like a battle to climb the stairs to Nyota's room, Spock found the physical act of walking up them hard as if the planets gravity had suddenly increased three fold though he knew of no actual phenomenon that would cause that. As he walked the short hallway his eyes flickered over the photos now taking in more than he previously had, they were all of the same theme, the three Uhura children playing happily. His steps faltered as he saw one with Nyota as a child of perhaps nine, in a swimming pool laughing as she splashed water at her teenage brother.

"Did you ever play in the pool when you were a child?"

" Pools are for exercising."

" Me and my brother and sister always used to play in the town pool."

" What games do you play in pools?"

" Not games, not exactly, just mucking about."

She slide back into he water and waded a few feet away from him, she lazily swung her arms around in the water.

" Mr. Spock, are you alright?"

Spock mentally shook himself and moved away from the concerned hand that had touched his shoulder.

" I was just remembering a conversation I had with your daughter. " He glanced back at the photo. " It seems so long ago now."

Mr Uhura nodded in understanding. Spock walked two more steps and pushed his hand against the door pad of Nyota's room, this time it responded to him immediately.

Nyota's body had relaxed as she had slept and she was no longer curled in on herself but lying straight on her side. She raised herself slightly on one elbow as they entered. Though she looked better for her rest but Spock still found himself freezing at the sight of her. He was not certain how to act. He felt some slight relief as walked passed him to sit at the edge of Nyota's bed where Spock had sat before.

"Hey Ny." He whispered. She looked up at her father as he tenderly brushed the hair from her face.

"How are you feeling?"

The tears were already starting to run down her face.

" You've had us worried baby."

" I'm sorry Baba." She said weakly.

"Nyota, you need to tell your father." Spock said.

She looked at him shaking her head slightly.

Nyota, it is time to face up to the reality of the situation. You need to see a doctor, you need to be watched over to be sure you recover properly. It would be easier if your parents knew what was going on.

They will never see me in the same way again. I'm their little girl.

You will always be their daughter whether they approve of your life choices or not.

I know, I guess, I just , I don't want them to be disappointed in me. When I graduated high school a year early and with an offer from the academy they were so proud. It's like, the baby, loosing the baby, I'm not, I'm not who I was.

Spock saw Mr. Uhura look between them, Spock knew that they were staring intently at each other and it must seem strange to somebody who didn't know that they could communicate telepathically.

You are yourself. People change everyday and I don't doubt that this experience, the way you have handled it will have made some large or small changes in you.

I feel your anger.

Distracted Spock tried to block his emotions from her a little more efficiently. He could not show her his anger, he could feel her bodies weakness almost as if it were his own and however bad he felt he could not add to her discomfort.

I am angry.

With me?
Yes.

Don't hate me.

He looked down at the floor unable to answer her. Did he hate her? He knew he loved her, he knew he was angry with her. Whatever it was he hoped it would pass. He wanted her, wanted his life with her to return to normal. If they could not make a family then he wanted things to be exactly as they were before this. But he knew time did not travel backwards, only forwards. But he felt uncomfortable having her in his mind. He did not feel the usual things when he looked at her or touched her and at times he couldn't meet her eyes. She had let their child die, not on purpose but she did not take every possible measure to prevent it. And she was.. relieved, that word, he was in pain and she was relieved. Part of his mind tried to fight that thought, he could feel her pain, knew she suffered and was depressed but he did not believe it was due to the loss of their child, only the lose of esteem she foresaw in others.

You need to tell your father. I need to ..to meditate, a deep meditation. I am losing control of ..of the emotions, I am, I am..

Your hands are shaking. The words were mixed with fragments of concern for him.

Spock folded his arms behind his back and took another step away from her mind.

I'm scared. She thought.

It will be okay. I am here.

"Baba, I had a miscarriage." She said quickly, like pulling off a bandaid.

Spock saw Nyota's father stiffen. Felt the mood in the room change.

"Not intentionally.." He answered his voice showing his shock. Spock knew he was talking about the pregnancy being intentional not the miscarriage. Unplanned pregnancies were rare in a society where year long contraceptive jabs were given by doctors at yearly check ups.

"No Baba, I didn't have the jab. "

His eyes flickered over to Spock.

"It is not fully effective on Vulcan's." Spock explained.

"I'm sorry Baba." Nyota said sobs starting to rake her entire body.

"No shush." He said stroking his hand down her back. He pulled her up and hugged her. "It'll be alright."

"Are you angry Baba?"

"No, not at you."

Spock felt strangely uneasy at that remark. He knew the man was shocked and angry and upset and he knew that those emotions, like his and like Nyota's would have to find a way out at some point.

" Why didn't you tell us Ny? We would have helped you." His voice remained gentle.

"I was scared Baba and I didn't know what I was doing. I was confused."

He kissed the top of his head.

"It's going to be okay. We're going to get you a doctor."

"I've been so stupid." She cried hiding her face in her hands.

"Everybody makes mistakes Darling. "

"I love you Baba."

"I love you to Ny. I will always love you, your mama too."

He kissed the top of her head again.

"You just rest, I'm going to go call the doctor."

He stood up and his eyes focused on Spock.

" Spock, come with me." His voice was stern.

" Baba?" Nyota called worriedly.

" Spock needs to explain to the doctor what medicines his given you darling."

"It is okay Nyota, just rest."

She reached her hand out to him and he took a few steps forwards to press his fingers to hers. He noted that he felt no reaction, no tingling no rush of excitement or joy. He turned and followed Mr. Uhura out the room.

They walked down the stairs feeling that now familiar tension in his limbs. He saw that similar tension in the set of Mr .Uhura's shoulders. He was a little surprised when Mr. Uhura opened the front door and stared pointedly at Spock.

"Isn't the com system in the living room?"

"Outside." He replied firmly.

Spock gave a short nod. He walked out hands folded behind his back.

"I take it that you wish to talk.."

There was a flash of movement and before he could move a fist had connected with his jaw. There was only a dull pain but it took Spock by surprise. He reached his hand up and wiped at his bottom lip seeing a little smear of green. He regarded Mr. Uhura , apparently he had changed his mind and no longer considered Spock a suitable partner for his daughter. That anger he had been feeling was boiling up inside him, he had to take two deep breaths to stop him from retaliating. He was not the only one who was angry and he was a Vulcan, he should know how to manage his emotions better. He had to be the logical one in the situation otherwise it would get out of hand.

"Nineteen! Nobody gets pregnant at nineteen it's not the twenty-first century! You're meant to be her teacher, you're god knows how much older.." Mr Uhura shouted.

"Six earth years." Spock answered immediately. He raised his hand in time to stop the next punch that Nyota's father tried to throw.

"Cease this I do not wish to hurt you." He said barely able to stop himself from reacting.

"You should have been more responsible. My daughter could have died because of this. Do you know what it is like to fear losing a child?"

Spock's emotional walls broke.

" I have just lost a child." He said taking a step towards the smaller man, towering over him. " And although I did not meet her I did feel some love towards her."

Mr. Uhura stared at him, some of the anger seemed to drain from him and he sat on the floor panting. Spock watched as his head dropped into his hand.

" I thought you were good for her."

" I cannot say what Nyota would be like if I wasn't in her life."

" She wouldn't have got pregnant would she? "

Spock looked down at the floor.

" I want you to leave. If I could stop you from seeing her again I would."

" Your daughter and I could not be easily separated we are bonded."

Mr. Uhura looked up at him.

" What?"

" We share a constant telepathic link that is not easily dissolved, nor would I wish it to be. "

"You put yourself in my daughters head? That's what that was?" The anger was back.

" She opened herself to me. She responded positively to it. It was not entirely my doing."

Mr. Uhura stood up.

"I want you to leave my house now!"

"She is my partner."

"She's my daughter, you're in my house and I'm telling you to leave before I lose my temper again."

' "I will say my goodbyes to Nyota first."

"No. You're leaving."

" It would upset Nyota if I left without saying goodbye to her."

Mr. Uhura seemed to fight with the anger he felt and the concern and love for his daughter, he clenched and unclenched his fists a few times then sighed.

"Stay here. I'm going to go talk to her."

Spock nodded. As Mr. Uhura went indoors Spock sat down on the bench on the porch. He sat straight-backed starring out towards where the streets and house of the town started. He had never felt so tired in his life, never so world weary and troubled. As he tried to fight the emotions raging through him they were trying to fight their way to the surface of his mind. Grief for the child he would never meet. Confusion and fear about what was happening in his relationship. Anger at Mr. Uhura for rescinding his welcome and keeping him from his wife and stronger, anger to Nyota for not seeing a doctor when the first strange results came.

He raised his head when he heard footsteps coming out the house. He was hoping he would see Mr. Uhura again so that he could say his goodbyes to Nyota and retire to a hotel till tempers cleared and he could meditate and rest. Instead he saw Peter's wife carrying the baby.

" Mr. Spock?"

" Yes, I apologize I do not know your name."

" Faraja. I heard you and Hishima arguing."

Spock didn't answer.

" Spot." Akina said reaching out to him. Spock looked down at the child.

" She is lovely." He said honestly.

She smiled down at the child.

" I heard that you and Nyota.. talk telepathically?"

" Yes. It is normal in my race for those who are in close relationships to talk telepathically."

" You must be really close if you can see each other thoughts."

" We are close." Spock answered.

" Spot!" The child said with more of a demanding tone.

" Shush Kina."

" What does the child want?" Spock asked.

" Oh." Faraja blushed slightly. " She seems to have taken a liking to you, she wants to sit on your lap."

Spock regarded the child; he imagined that his own might have looked somewhat like her, paler and with some Vulcan features but the same wide eyes and pudgy hands.

" May I hold her?"

Farnia loosened her grip around the child's middle. Akina stood up on the bench and took a few tottering steps towards him then lost her balance and fell onto her hands she crawled on her hands and knees for another step and then stood up again when he reached him again. She reached out touching his cheek with her little fingers.

" Hunzi." She said sadly. Then her pudgy arms wrapped around his neck and her head nestled against his neck. Spock hesitated, she was so small and fragile. He carefully placed his hand on her back gently returning the hug.

" Lovely." He muttered again. He felt like he was about to break, like he was as fragile as the child. He pulled away.

" She is precious." He said. He had lost something precious.

" Yes. She is." She looked directly at him for a moment as if trying to decide whether to ask what she wanted to know. " I have never seen Hishima so angry before. I don't understand why he would be so angry at the two of you having a telepathic link, he tends to be quite open about .. well aliens and non-human abilities, and even mixed relationships. "

Spock knew from that sentence hat she had not heard the entirety of his argument with Nyota's father.

" I believe he has been scared for Nyota's health and has, I believe the phrase is 'crack under pressure'."

Faraja nodded. Akina who was regarding him with a serious expression and a little pout to her lips reached for his ears. Spock took her little hand and shook his head.

" No Akina."

" We use Swahili at home so her understanding of standard is a little limited."

" It is understandable."

" Spot Masikio!" She reached for his ear again. Spock shock his head.

" No Akina." He said again.

" Perhaps she'll become a linguistic expert like her aunt." Farnia said.

" It is a possibility."

" Mr Spock." Spock turned to see Hishima Uhura stood looking down at him stiff lipped, he glanced from Spock to his granddaughter who had chosen that minute to almost fall over and grabbed onto his arm. It was obvious from his expression that he did not like Spock having contact with the toddler.

" You can go say goodbye to Nyota now."

" Thank you." He nodded to him. Although uncomfortable he did not want to leave Nyota's house in this way.

" Mr. Uhura, I hope that given time you will forgive my mistakes."

Mr. Uhura looked away from him.

" Yeah, we'll see." He muttered. He turned to Faraja.

Spock nodded his farewell to Faraja and Hishima then gently took Akina's hand again.

" Goodbye Akina."

The child frowned at him

"Kwaheri" She said sadly.

Spock heard Hishima speaking as he walked up the stairs.

"Ita daktari"

He sent a probing thought out to Nyota when he reached he door.

"Come in Kipenzi"

He walked in. He was glad to see Nyota sat up in bed, it diminished his concern for her. But with the diminishing with one came the rising of another.

" How do you feel?"

She gave a weak little smile.

" Tired, shaky…" She sighed. " Drained."

" There is no pain?"

" It comes and goes."

Spock nodded.

" Baba said you're leaving.."

" We have argued."

" I thought so. He seemed very tense."

" Yes."

" I'm sorry Spock."

' You cannot determine your fathers actions."

" He's protective."

" Nyota, I do not wish to discuss your fathers reactions. I came to say goodbye before I take my leave."

She stretched her hand out towards him.

" Spock, I don't want you to leave."

" I shall keep in contact and return when your father allows me to do so."

She nodded.

" I guess there's no other choice."

" It is his house and he does not seem open to changing his decision at this time."

He noticed her eyes fill with tears but she blinked them back. He walked over to her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Goodbye Nyota."

" Bye Kipenzi."

Spock turned to leave.

" Spock!" Nyota called to him hesitantly. He stopped.

" Say you love me, just this once." She asked her voice weak.

Spock stiffened, he felt his heartbeat increase felt that tightness around his chest that stopped him from drawing breath. He watched a tiny spider work it's way across the wood floor. Pausing and feeling with it's legs around the small gap between two boards. He felt his fingers twitch on their own and his eyes flickered to them remembering the feel of Akina's warm little hand grasping them.

" This could have been avoided." He muttered. He walked out the room hearing Nyota desperately calling to him as he left down the hallway and out of the house where into the mild African night.

Swahili translations.

Baba- dad.

Kipenzi- lover/darling.

Hunzi_ sad ( I am hoping that's the right translation. )

Masikio- Ears

"Ita daktari"- Fetch a doctor

Kwaheri – Good bye

So there we have it, not sure if I quite pulled this one off, didn't help my electronic writing pad decided to go the way of my laptop and bit the dust. As I'm now only able to use university computers it's going to be difficult to keep updating on a regular basis but I will try my best.