Disclaimer Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.
All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.
A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?
Love Never Dies
by
Ninja Elizabeth
Chapter 9: Understanding...
Briony awoke and looked at her clock. She had forgotten to set the alarm! She was late for her shift. She dressed herself quickly and rushed to where the duty roster was posted. She was relieved. She was stationed in the laundry processing area to sort and fold the laundry. Nowhere near the bedpans. She was tired of bedpans, clean or dirty.
She made her way to the laundry room hoping that she had not been missed. She had just made it to the door and was about to open it when she heard someone speak behind her.
"Tallis, you're over an hour late." the authoritative voice of Sister Drummond responded.
Briony swallowed and turned to face the Ward Sister. "I'm sorry, Sister Drummond, but I forgot to set my alarm." she replied knowing that the Ward Sister did not like to hear excuses for tardiness. "I just couldn't get the look on Robbie's face out of my mind and the sound of my sister's cries haunted my dreams."
"You stayed up after your shift to sit with Private Turner until he was taken away, didn't you?" the Ward Sister asked.
"Yes, I did. Cecilia, Sister Tallis, didn't want him to be alone. She asked me to sit with him because she couldn't bear to see him taken away again."
Sister Drummond sighed. "Just this once, Tallis, I'm going to let you off without being disciplined. Do not let it happen again" With that she walked away.
Briony watched her as the briskly walked down the corridor toward the main part of the ward. So Sister Drummond did have a heart after all. She turned to the door and opened it to start her shift with a new determination. She didn't want to let her sister or Sister Drummond down.
She noticed the pile of laundry on the counter and no one else in the room. Where was Fiona, she thought. She had seen her name alongside hers on the roster. Shrugging it off, she started to fold.
"Oh, you made it!" Fiona responded bringing in the cart for them to put the sorted and folded laundry on. "I passed Sister Drummond in the corridor. She was waiting for you. Did she read you the riot act for being late?"
"Actually, no." Briony replied. Now that she was in the company of her friend she wasn't sure if she liked the idea of working with her today or not. "I was quite surprised."
"Lucky you. I was a mere five minutes late and got quite an earful." Fiona quipped. She then gave a little chuckle. "The rumors really must be true then if Sister Drummond didn't yell at you."
Briony looked at her friend. "What rumors?" she asked, dreading what she would say.
"The ones about Sister Drummond and Sister Tallis having an affair. Rumor has it that Sister Drummond personally requested Sister Tallis' transfer here from the EMS." Fiona answered. "You are Sister Tallis' sister after all."
Briony felt angry and somewhat betrayed. She could still hear her sister's sobs and see the look on Robbie's face. "There is absolutely NOTHING going on between Sister Drummond and my sister, is that clear?"
"Oh, come on! Everybody can see it!" Fiona laughed. "Take what just happened, Briony. She, Sister Drummond, the tyrant, the Ice Queen, didn't yell at you for being over an hour late, and yet I got an earful for being merely five minutes late. Surely she's playing favorites because your Sister Tallis' little sister."
"They are merely friends, like us, Fiona. I suspect the reason she was nice to me today is she knows how much Robbie means to my sister, and that my sister asked me to wait up with him until he was taken away to prison." Briony replied. "Robbie Turner is the nicest man you could ever meet and my sister loves him with all her heart. He's asked my sister to marry him."
"Robbie Turner?" Fiona asked. "Wasn't that the name of the soldier who tried to strangle you when he was brought in?"
"Yes." Briony answered.
"You're sister is going to marry that man?" Fiona asked a bit shocked. "If he's so sweet why was he taken to prison? What did he do? And why did he try to strangle you?"
"He was delirious with fever, Fi." Briony replied. It was true. Robbie was delirious. Robbie would never hurt her despite how much he hated her. Hurting or taking advantage of anybody was not in Robbie's nature.
"How did your sister meet such a man?" Fiona asked. "Meeting a soldier sounds so romantic, although hearing a Navy man's tales of the sea sounds much more romantic than an Army man's tales of marching around. Does your sister know of his crimes?"
Briony wanted to slap some sense into her friend. All she ever talked about was the romance of meeting/being with an officer in the Royal Navy. She still held onto her ridiculous romantic dreams even after being inundated with the realities of the war in the ward. Briony realized that she had once seen romance the way Fiona did, but a harsh dose of reality changed that. Very few romances were like the kinds one read in the two penny novels. She laughed. Robbie and Cecilia's relationship would fit right in. The rich girl and the servant, both wanting and yearning but not admitting their love for one another until it was too late, torn apart by a horrible misunderstanding and war. "Cecilia knows what he was accused of. She was there. So was I. It wasn't true. I thought I knew more than I did. I thought I understood what was going on and wanted more than anything to protect my sister, and instead destroyed her happiness."
"Wait! I heard about that case. I thought your name sounded familiar when I met you. My mother was so worried about me falling in love with one of the local boys asking him to find me a rich millionaire to marry, because the local boys couldn't be trusted. Sex maniacs." Fiona replied. "Imagine! Raping an innocent fifteen year old! How can your sister love a man like that? Is she out of her mind? How can you defend her like you do?"
"Robbie didn't do it!" Briony shouted. "And my cousin was hardly innocent. She fancied herself to be much more mature than she actually was. Of course, I didn't see that as a fantasizing thirteen year old, but I can see it now."
"That letter. How do you explain that?" Fiona asked. "I remember my father going on about that letter. How could that monster write such a thing and give it to you? Briony, open your eyes. He gave that letter to you."
"He gave it to me to give to Cecilia!" Briony again screamed. "I betrayed them both by reading it. My sister and Robbie were in love, and I betrayed them."
"You testified in court, didn't you?" Fiona asked. "I recall my father being horrified that a girl the same age as me was put up on the stand to face the monster who raped her cousin."
Tears streamed down Briony's cheeks. For the first, she cried. She had not cried before surrounding the events of that fateful day in June. "Robbie didn't do it!" she cried. "I was jealous and angry that he cared about my sister more than he did me. When I thought he was trying to harm her, all I wanted to do was protect her. I felt that I was her only witness to what he was doing and I had to protect my sister. Only what I thought I saw wasn't what I saw. I didn't understand what was going on. I couldn't see everything, and I didn't hear what they were saying."
"What did you see?"
"I saw the two of them by the fountain." Briony replied. "I thought Robbie ordered my sister to remove her clothes, because she started to unbutton her blouse. I turned away. When I did look back my sister was climbing out of the fountain. She put her clothes back on and stormed away."
"Oh my goodness! That's horrible!" Fiona responded. "What a monster! It's a good thing your sister has a little sister like you to look after her. She's so ungrateful. How can she hate you?"
"Because it didn't happen the way I thought it did! Robbie didn't force Cecilia to remove her clothes to jump into the fountain. Cee did it on her own."
Fiona laughed. "That's ridiculous. Why would she do such a thing?" she asked. "It had to be Robbie. Your sister is being stupid. Why is she protecting that monster?"
"Robbie isn't a monster!" Briony exclaimed.
"How do you explain that letter he wrote to you, then?"
"It was a mistake. It was the wrong version. Cecilia has the right version." Briony responded. "Robbie trusted me to deliver the letter to my sister. He asked me for a favor to run ahead and give the letter to Cee because he felt foolish to be handing it to her himself. I opened it and read it. I shouldn't have. Naturally, I misinterpreted it due to what I had thought I saw earlier that day, and it made what I was about to see later as a bad thing. When my cousin was attacked I jumped to conclusions."
Briony didn't want to talk about the subject any longer. She excused herself to go and fetch another cart of laundry. She hoped that when she returned Fiona would no longer be interested in the subject. Briony sighed and realized however just what a daunting task it was going to be to convince people that she had lied, that Robbie was innocent.
(-+-+-+-+-)
It wasn't until after dessert and everyone had left the dining room to gather in the drawing room for cocktails did Betty and her crew finally get the chance to relax and enjoy their supper. Betty brought to the table in the servants' dining room a large pot of stew that she had simmering on the stove all day. Grace set the table while the two younger kitchen workers brought what was left of the juice and some water. The champagne was gone.
"I hope you don't mind beef stew, Cecilia." Betty asked. "On a chaotic day like today, stew is the easiest thing to prepare. Just throw everything into the pot and let it simmer all day."
Cecilia smiled. "I don't mind one bit, Betty." she replied. "I love your stew. It's been a while since I've eaten it. Besides, a slow simmering stew is a luxury that I can't afford."
Judith, the older of the two kitchen workers, laughed at Cecilia. "Boy, you sure are stupid or simple minded."
"I beg your pardon?" Cecilia asked turning to Judith.
"I said you are either stupid or simple minded." Judith repeated. "How can you consider something as simple as beef stew as luxury? It's just made of scraps. It's cheap. Now filet mignon. That's a luxury."
"Luxury does not always mean having money. If you think that then it is you who is simple minded." Cecilia replied. "For me, time is a luxury. Unless I am on holiday, I don't have the time to simmer a stew all day. I generally have to stay at home and be prepared to report to duty at a moment's notice. I can't leave my flat with something on the stove when I go out shopping. My days off change and when I do have a day off, I come and visit Grace. Not to mention I don't have an ice box that works well enough to store meat for very long."
"You have no right to lecture me, new girl. Just who do you think you are anyway?" Judith responded not at all impressed.
"I am Cecilia Emily Tallis, second child and eldest daughter of your employer Jack Tallis." she replied turning to Betty. "Betty, I noticed an extra steak."
Judith did not believe her. Why the eldest daughter would be helping them in the kitchen?
"Yes. It's yours if you want it." Betty replied. "Would like me to prepare it for you?"
"No. I want your stew." Cecilia replied sincerely. "I used to eat leftovers with Robbie, remember?"
Betty smiled. "Yes, I remember." she recalled fondly. "The two of you made such a cute couple, even as children."
Cecilia blushed, and then turned back to Judith. "You don't deserve it, but you can have my steak. It would be a shame to waste it. If you consider it such a luxury then you have a lot to learn. Money does not buy happiness."
Cecilia sat down at the table with Grace as Betty served the stew. Judith gave Betty a look. Betty turned to her.
"If you want the steak, prepare it yourself. You know how to cook." Betty replied. "I'm tired and hungry."
In a huff, Judith left and went to prepare the steak. Betty turned to Cecilia.
"You were like that once, you know." she responded.
"I know," Cecilia replied softly. "I never realized how much of a snob I was until everyone turned on Robbie. Even at Cambridge I never really talked to him. He was the housekeeper's son, a servant. Of course he would have done it. It couldn't have possibly have been anyone else. I had finally accepted my love for him and it was the best feeling in the world. It didn't matter to me that he was the housekeeper's son anymore. He was just my Robbie."
(-+-+-+-+-+)
Finally, Jack Tallis was rid of Paul Marshall who had decided to retire for the evening. He envied his wife during times like this when she could excuse herself because of her migraines. He had no such option. Instead he had to endure Marshall's reports of his success and bragging about his recent contract with the Royal Navy to supply the soldiers with chocolate along with the Royal Army. He had to put up with him insisting he invest in his company.
He headed for the kitchen hoping that his daughter was there waiting for him. He was a bit surprised at the sight of her washing the dishes.
"Cecilia!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing? Where are Grace, Betty and the others?"
Looking toward the direction of the voice she smiled at the sight of her father. "I sent them to bed. I had no idea what time you would be here. Since I was going to wait up for you I told Betty that I would clean up. Are you ready to talk, or has Mr. Marshall turned your brain to mush?"
"He must have turned my brain to mush. Did I actually hear you say that you told Betty you would clean up?" Jack teased. "Little Cee, are you ill?"
Cecilia laughed. She never realized what a reputation she had at home when it came to cleaning up after herself. She missed her father's teasing. "Little Cee is still a slob as evident if you were to visit her flat in Balham. However, Sister Tallis cannot afford to be as it would cost her her job, and quite possibly somebody's life, so she is quite clean and meticulous." she replied wiping her hands with a clean dishtowel. She had long since finished cleaning up after the dinner preparations and was just cleaning the kitchen. She began to look through the cupboards. "Would you like some hot chocolate, father? I know Betty must have some somewhere."
Jack smiled and then walked to a cupboard at the opposite end of where his daughter was looking. He took out a tin of drinking chocolate and two mugs; one was black and the other was green, and brought them over to Cecilia. "Do you know how to make it?" he teased.
Cecilia glared at her father, then chuckled noting the old mugs he had brought over. She recognized them as 'father/daughter' set her mother had bought for them one Christmas years ago.
Jack stood back and let Cecilia prepare the hot chocolate. Then with their mugs firmly in hand, Jack led his daughter to his study. He turned on the light and gestured for her to enter closing the door behind them.
Looking around the room, Cecilia realized that she had never actually been in the room that she could remember. He had quite a nice collection of books in his private library. Many of them first editions, and some exclusive to his library and not duplicated in the main library. What stunned her most was the condition the room was in. It was a mess. There were piles of papers and folders everywhere. The trash basket was over flowing and even the chairs had plies of books and papers on them. There were two cozy chairs by and end table that were clear, but the end table was covered with folders. She laughed as her father shoved the folders off the end table and placed his mug on the table gesturing for Cecilia to do the same.
"I see that my taste for sweets is not the only thing I inherited from you." Cecilia laughed as they each took a seat.
Jack laughed sheepishly at the daughter. "Not exactly something one would be proud of, however unlike you, Sister Tallis, my office looks just like this."
Cecilia shook her head and took her seat.
"You know your mother misses you dearly." Jack replied. "I'm sure you saw that she has a place set for you on the off chance you return home. Leon gives her a hard time about it. She keeps doing it, for breakfast and for dinner. I joke with her about the breakfast because you have never been on to rise early."
"I'll be sure put aside some time for her before I leave." Cecilia replied.
Jack nodded. "Now, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
Taking a sip of her hot chocolate, Cecilia then took a deep breath. "First, I want to say that I'm sorry."
"Little Cee, you don't have anything to apologize for." Jack reassured. "Nobody blames you for leaving the way you did after the way we treated you. It's we who should apologize to you. We all turned against you because of your steadfast devotion to Robbie and your belief in his innocence. No one should have been surprised when you turned your back on us. I remember Leon was simply horrified that you ignored him when he waited for you outside the hospital where you were working. I scolded him and told him you had every right to ignore him for the way he's always treated Robbie. Sometimes I wondered if he treated him the way he did because he actually wanted him. Would explain a lot."
"Thank you. That means a lot to me. But I wasn't referring to that." Cecilia replied.
Confused, Jack sipped at his hot chocolate which his daughter had made just the way he liked it; extra chocolate, straight up, no marshmallows or whipping cream. "Then what on Earth are you apologizing for then?"
"My third."
"Your what?" Jack asked.
"My third at Cambridge. It must have cost you a fortune to have both myself and Robbie attend even with our respective scholarships." she answered. "I know how proud you and mother were when I got accepted. I'm sorry I let you down, father."
"Is that why you avoided me all those years? You weren't doing well in school?" he asked. "I know I angered you when I brought my girlfriend with me that one time I came to see you. I thought it was because of that."
"I let you down. I'm much smarter than 'a third'. I should have finished with 'a first' like Robbie did. But I let myself get distracted, I let you down. I'm sorry."
Jack took his daughter's hands in his and looked into her chocolate brown eyes. He could see how sincere she was with her apology. "Cecilia, you have never let me down as far as your education is concerned." Jack replied. "You were accepted in to Roedean at eleven. You were accepted into Cambridge. Cambridge, Little Cee. Do you have any idea how proud your mother and I were? I tested to get in when I was your age and couldn't get in. Your brother nearly flunked out. He only did the most minimal of work. The only thing that would have disappointed me was if you flunked out. But you didn't. And look at you now. A Ward Sister!"
"But I should have done better." Cecilia replied.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. Although I imagine it was a bit embarrassing returning home having been bested by 'the housekeeper's son'." he replied. "My visit wasn't the distraction was it? If it was, I'm sorry. I know how close you always were with your mother, and my bringing a girlfriend along was uncalled for."
"It wasn't you, father." Cecilia replied with a smirk.
Cecilia and her father enjoyed a good laugh as she told him about her Roedean chums and Robbie affecting her studies. After a few moments, Cecilia turned serious.
"About Robbie, father." she replied softly with a slight tremble in her voice. "Honestly, what do you think of him? It doesn't really matter what you think because my mind about him is made up. I've already severed my ties here so I can leave again. I have my own life now and I'm quite content. But I want to know..."
Jack sat back in his char and sipped his hot chocolate trying to read the face of his little girl. His little girl was a beautiful young woman. Despite her often cold exterior, he knew that inside she was a loving, caring soul. Her kind heart was evident from the way she was always there to tend to her mother and younger sister. "From the day little Robert Ernest Turner was brought into this life I liked him. He was a funny little boy. I remember one morning I found Grace bathing him in the kitchen sink. She said that Ernest said the little boy made too much noise and to shut him up or take him elsewhere. Robbie was as quite as a mouse compared to your brother."
Cecilia smiled. Grace has shared many memories of her son with her, including that one.
"He was always smiling and getting into things, but in a good way. He was a very curious little boy. He always wanted to help. When Ernest left, I was more than willing to help Grace raise her little boy as was your mother even though we had our hands full with you. I gladly sponsored him through school because I felt that his curiosity had to be nurtured. He grew up to be a fine young man."
Cecilia stared into her cup, afraid to meet her father's eyes. "I'm in love with him, father," she replied softly. Since she was not looking at him, she did not see the warm grin that lighted up her father's face. "He's asked me to marry him."
"Well, I hope you had enough sense to say 'yes', young lady." Jack responded as Cecilia looked up. "A young man like Robbie is hard to find. I could set you up with a rich dashing millionaire. Look at the gem your cousin Lola ended up with. He could have been yours."
Laughing she pulled out the ID tags she now wore around her neck. "Not much of an engagement gift, but I did say yes and Robbie placed these around my neck."
"Does that mean Robbie made it home?" Jack asked. "Where is he now? Is he at the hospital?"
Cecilia sighed. "He was. He was taken back to prison this morning." she replied sadly. "That brings up something else I wanted to talk to you about. Briony admitted to me that she lied that evening confirming what I already knew in my heart. Robbie didn't do it. She wants to change her evidence. Do you think we have a chance of clearing Robbie's name?"
"I'll be honest, Cecilia. No. It's been too long." Jack replied. He noticed his daughter's heart sink. "But for yours and Grace's sake, I'm willing to give it a try. I couldn't believe that Robbie could have committed such a hideous crime. When did you speak to your sister?"
"I've been working with her since I was transferred to St Thomas from the EMS at the start of the evacuation. Just because I'm talking to her does not mean I've forgiven her for what she's done. She understands that I still hate her but she is my sister and I love her."
"Who did she finger as the culprit?" Jack asked.
Cecilia took a deep breath. "Paul Marshall."
"What? But Lola married him. Are you sure? Your mother will be devastated. Are you sure Briony isn't lying to gain favor with you again?" Jack asked.
"You don't believe that Robbie is actually guilty, do you, father?" Cecilia asked in disbelief.
"No, I don't. Not the Robbie I knew and sponsored through school with the same pride as I did my own children." Jack reassured. "What I am saying, Cee, Briony is known to lie or stretch the truth. She lives in her own world at times... seeing but not seeing. She might be saying what you want to hear because she misses her big sister. And there was quite a lot of evidence stacked against Robbie."
"Only because it was deliberately made to look that way." Cecilia replied. "The attack at the fountain, the letter, the attack in the library. It was me at the fountain. The letter was intended for my eyes, and my eyes only, further more that version was a mistake and not the version he intended to give to me. I was in the library with him."
"I'm just playing 'devil's advocate' so do not be angry by what I'm going to ask, but if you were to take yourself out of the equation, do you think there was any way Robbie could have committed the crime?"
"No!" Cecilia cried out obviously not very successful in taking herself out of the equation as her father asked. "Robbie wouldn't have been so stupid! When he showed up at the house, I answered the door. I led him to the library. We were interrupted by Briony who obviously did not understand what she was witnessing. Robbie wasn't attacking me. All we had to do was wait until after dinner to sneak away and find a place to continue."
Jack burst out laughing. He knew it was not the most appropriate response for what his daughter had just said but he could not help himself. "Cecilia?" he asked. "Did you lose your virginity in the library that night?"
"What?" Cecilia asked flushing with embarrassment. Did her father ask what she thought he had asked?
"Your mother lost hers in the library," he snickered. "It was the night of our engagement party. Everybody was drunk so we weren't missed and we snuck away from the festivities for a few moments."
"Father!" she responded completely scandalized by learning a little more than she wanted to about her parents.
Jack laughed, then turned serious. "It's not going to be easy. It might be impossible. Going up against Paul Marshall will not be easy. He has a lot of money and a lot of influence. That is probably why things went the way they did. He has a lot of supporters."
"I'm not fooling myself. I know it will be difficult, but I cannot live with myself I do not try. Not necessarily for me but because he's innocent, and I want to prove it." she replied. "I know of a few people who have gotten to know Robbie after he was convicted who are willing to testify on behalf of his character. And Marshall's Army Ammo Bars are not as popular as he thinks they are."
"He's married to the one you are accusing him of attacking. That isn't going to help our case at all."
"I'm not out to prove who did it, father, only that Robbie is innocent." Cecilia replied. "Besides, Lola is an idiot. She probably asked for it."
" This is going to be extremely hard on your mother if Paul Marshall is indeed the real culprit. I know full well what an idiot your Aunt Hermione is, don't tell your mother I said that, and her daughter is just like her. Flash a wad of cash and a fancy car in front of her and she's all yours. but saying Lola asked for it, is a bit mean. "
"Yes, it is. I'm sorry. Rape is wrong no matter how old the victim." she apologized. "I don't want to hurt anyone more than I already have. I don't want you or mother to think that my motives are purely selfish. I won't deny that there is some bit of selfishness but even I noticed that Robbie wasn't given a proper defense. I was in the court room every day of the trial in support of Robbie."
"Now that you mention it his defense was a bit lacking. I wasn't there every day, but I went a few times." Jack replied. "Most of the evidence and testimony seemed to point toward his guilt."
"There was very little evidence, but a lot of testimony. Third person testimony." Cecilia replied. "There was the incident by the fountain where he allegedly forced a young woman to take off her clothes and jump in obviously so he could look at her in wet clothes. Did they bother to ask the young woman in that incident to testify? No, they did not. If they did the young woman would have testified that she willingly took off her clothes and jumped in the fountain to retrieve a piece of the broken vase. Robbie was a perfect gentleman and turned away when he realized that he could see through her wet clothes."
Jack was laughing again. Cecilia really didn't mind this time. Her actions were pretty silly.
"Why on Earth did you do such a thing?" Jack asked.
"I was being stubborn. I didn't want him to be the 'gentleman' and go in after it himself." Cecilia snickered.
"And the vase. Why were you filling it with filthy fountain water?"
"Mother asked me to pick some flowers and fill Uncle Clem's vase with water to put up in Auntie Venus' room for Mr. Marshall." Cecilia replied. "I went outside to the fountain because Robbie was outside."
"You were that much in love with the boy? You silly girl!" her father responded. "And it was you who broke my brother's vase? I blamed and yelled at Betty!"
"I know. I apologized to her."
"I have a few friends in other departments. I'll see what I can do about helping you prove Robbie innocent. But I don't want you to get your hopes up. I'm not promising you that anything will be done to free him." Jack replied.
"I understand," his daughter replied. "Your support means a lot to me. I'll marry Robbie behind bars if I have to. When we get an address, you should write to him. It would mean a lot to hear from you personally that you support his innocence and give him your blessing to marry me."
"I will do that." Jack responded. He was very proud of his daughter. She had grown up into a fine young lady, but she was still his 'Little Cee'.