Silence.
Pure. Total. Utter silence.
Mukuro did not know how many days had passed, nor how many were still to come. She had stayed endlessly by Hiei's side in the cramped recovery room below the operating table, keeping quiet save for the occasional cough or sneeze that came by dust. Shigure popped in every three hours to check Hiei's vitals and change the bandages. He'd long since lifted the veil of anesthesia, but Hiei still remained in a lulled state of strange delirium. He would wake, twist his head to spot Mukuro laying beside him, and would ask for water or simply say 'hello'. His ability to communicate began to grow strong after a few days.. but it was still weak compared to his normal snarky attitude.
Mukuro did not say much for her part. She simply did not know what to say anymore.
"You stink." Shigure commented one day, "Take a shower. I'll hold your spot while you bathe."
"Get the fuck out." Was her only reply, and so he did to leave her in bitter silence once more.
She would not leave his side, she would not bare him to the elements... she would keep vigilant watch till the day came when he could protect himself once more.
Because she was certain that he would do the same for her.
Several days passed before Hiei could finally gain the strength to make the conscious effort of sitting up. Walking was difficult and it seemed that his sense of balance had been thrown through a loop. Every time that he rose from the bed, Hiei would only stumble to the mirror to stare at himself. The sight of his reflection seemed to frighten him, and he would quickly return to bed with Mukuro's help.
"One foot in front of another." Mukuro would constantly say, "Don't look at your fucking feet, I won't let you fall."
Another dip came with Hiei's eating habits. Normally Hiei would go from feast to famine, gorging himself after long periods of starvation. However, when it came to healing Hiei preferred to eat like a bird or deer. He would nibble few, but often.
Mukuro often fed him to keep a mess from being made on the only quilt they had for a bed. Hiei's hands were so shaky and full of drip tubes that he could barely hold a pair of chopsticks. Still, Shigure kept Hiei on a firm regiment of miso soup, rice, and fowl. The more meat Hiei eat, the stronger he became... but he was a far cry from the man he'd once been.
"You can't stay with him like this forever." Shigure warned. "You have an empire to run Mukuro. Kirin's been over here at least ten times to try and get a word. I've sent him away but he still keeps coming back. You have to remember your responsibilities as -"
"Shut the fuck up!" Mukuro snapped, her temper flaring up at once. "I know my responsibilities, Shigure! I am your boss!"
Hiei, sitting up and slightly aware of what was occurring, gave Shigure a loathsome look.
"Do you think we are simple minded?" Hiei growled.
"I think you're absent minded." Shigure argued, "You may be content, wrapped up in your little cocoon of love underneath my operating room, but there's a world outside of this hut and it's calling your damn name!"
Hiei leapt from the bed!
Gasped- and nearly fell to his knees.
Mukuro dropped the bowl of miso, and it shattered on the floor as she held him tight around the waist.
"Let go of me!" Hiei spat angrily, clinging tight to the bed rails as he glared at Shigure, "Let go of me, I can hold myself up!"
"Really? Three days ago you could barely sit yourself up!" Shigure snapped. "Don't get fresh with me just because I'm reminding you that life goes on! While you've been dwelling down here, just remember that the doll is still around your sister! Unprotected!" Shigure added with an icy tone.
He left the room, slamming the door behind him.
"... Fuckin bastard." Mukuro whispered, letting Hiei stand on his own as she bent down to scoop up the shards of the bowl. Taking a towel from the small sink in the corner, she laid it over the dregs of miso soup to soak it off of the floor. Hiei slowly made his way over to the mirror, staring at his reflection once more, "I swear I'm about this close to killing him myself. Just for the pleasure of it."
"He's right though. To an extent." Hiei added with a sneer. Yet there was no bite in his tone, and he seemed dampened in his sour mood. He turned around, looking at Mukuro. "You've stayed here with me long enough. I did not require it of you nor ask it of you. Return to the centipede if you wish and continue on. I'll leave as soon as I am able."
Mukuro scowled, tossing the bits of bowl into the trash along with the soaking towel. "I'm not leaving you." She muttered, rather annoyed with Hiei's inability to take a hint. How many times did one have to beat him over the head before he got the point?
"Fool." Was his only reply.
Two more days passed, and with each hour Hiei seemed determined to regain his independency. He refused Mukuro's help at all costs, and even attempted to bathe though he had to use a plastic chair and could only wash himself in spurts. Shigure was amused, but kept his humor to himself as he continued on barring Kirin from the door and working on cleaning his operating room from the recent surgery. Twice, while Mukuro and Hiei worked to recover and recuperate, weak demons came to have a jagan implant and were turned away. One was so adamant that Shigure had to force him out the door with threats on his life.
"Impudent low life." Hiei sneered as he watched Shigure descend the stairs with exhaustive effort, "They never learn."
It was a misty morning, unmarked save for Hiei throwing up once, when Kirin finally had enough of Shigure's insolence.
A crash loud enough to wake the dead sounded from the operating room, and Mukuro (fast asleep in the lazy chair) sprung to life with a gasp as she looked to the ceiling where dust was being shook loose. Hiei, exhausted and ill, instinctively attempted to reach for his sword- but his sword was no longer upon his hip, and he was far too weak to lay siege on the intruder.
"Leave it to me!" Mukuro snapped, jumping from the chair at once to barge through the door and storm up the circular stairs.
Shigure was already on the scene and as Mukuro burst into the operating room she was given full view of Kirin, her tallest and angriest soldier attempting to beat Shigure to a pulp.
She paused.
Kirin punched with incredible speed, his powers as an intermediate sorcerer coming forth as Shigure had to dodge bolts of hot green and blue light that exploded from Kirin's palms! They left scorch marks on the floor that smelled like acid, and Shigure barely managed to get out of the way twice as he dove behind the operating table to grab a small scalpel. He needed his O-ring, and quickly!
"I've told you before!" Shigure shouted angrily, "She doesn't want to be bothered! You think I haven't tried getting her up here?!"
"You haven't tried hard enough!" Kirin bellowed like a bull, and with his words he grabbed the Operating Table forcibly with both hands and ripped it in half! Metal scraped and screamed, forced apart and bent out of shape as Shigure was shoved onto his backside from the force. "You want this kingdom to fall, I'm certain of it! You've not told her a word! You want this kingdom to fall so you can control it yourself!"
"I AM NO THEIF!" Shigure took great offense, clambering back to his feet and grabbing a tray at once. He launched it at Kirin, who only had so much time to deflect. The second round of fighting commenced, with both men giving up their respective talents for sheer brute force. Mukuro simply leaned against the wall, watching the struggle with sneering disdain.
Such petty fights were for men too foolish to know how to dispute with words. What utter ignorance.
"If you're quite done." Mukuro drawled loudly.
At first the men did not seem to hear her, still fighting and bickering like a pair of cranes during mating season. Soon enough, however, they slowly halted their dispute till Kirin and Shigure were untangled from one another, looking around to where she stood in amazement.
Mukuro did not bat an eyelash, thoroughly irritated.
"Kirin, what do you want." Mukuro snapped, "I'm busy."
"My lord!" Kirin cried out, scrambling to his feet with a pant, "You have been greatly needed at base! We've had severe disturbances to the west and need your leadership in order to conquer-"
"You need... my leadership... to run out a band of thieves?" Mukuro sneered. "You couldn't do it by yourself? You need mommy to make you feel secure?"
Kirin fell silent at this, quelled by her clear sarcastic rage. He glanced at his feet, too embarrassed to meet her eye.
"We did not know what direction to take-"
"Kill!" Mukuro snapped, "Kill without mercy. Slaughter then all until none are left standing. What do you take me for, a hostage assembler? I do not care for more people to feed, your lousy soldiers are more than enough on my back!"
"Our soldiers are not lousy!" Kirin balked, taking personal offense as the last man to be first in command.
"They are lazy, spoiled, whiney, incompetent dick swingers that can't hold a candle to my personal guard! I get more done with one man than I do with five hundred of them!" Mukuro snarled, and Kirin was cowed with her shouts. "The only reason we are where we are today is because our latest generals have gained ground with firm discipline! Not your lacking form of punishment!"
At this, Kirin's expression turned sour, and in the silence Mukuro did not let up with her disapproving gaze.
"Slaughter them all." She finished shortly. "Slaughter anyone that threatens our advances. As for my presence at the centipede do not expect it for some time. I am busy with personal work and will not be able to attend your mundane rituals of soldier life. Until I return, you are in charge."
Kirin blanched, looking up to Mukuro with a strange glimmer of awe and respect.
"My- My lord?" Kirin demanded, confused. "I'm in charge?"
Mukuro leaned in, her fangs barred, and Kirin immediately backed up.
"Do not disappoint me." Mukuro warned in a low and deadly voice.
Kirin bowed, and she knew her warning had been recognized.
"Go." Mukuro snapped. "Continue in our usual fashion and hold down the fort till I return. Do not let the lower soldiers know I am not present... Let it be as if I am in my quarters as usual."
"What of Hiei?" Kirin asked, "Will he be joining my lead?"
"Hiei is rec-"
"Hiei is away." Mukuro snapped, cutting across Shigure with a glare. "He is working with me. We will both return when we are able. Until then, you are in charge."
"My lord. I will not fail you." Kirin swore, bowing low once more before turning to head for the door.
"What, no apology for thinking I was trying to overthrow our boss?!" Shigure snarled at Kirin's retreating back. Kirin flicked Shigure off over his shoulder, and slammed the door behind him.
Shigure swore under his breath, looking at his table in disdain.
"Goddamnit, this is going to take forever to repair." Shigure snarled. gesturing to the shredded metal, "That dunderhead! That fucking idiot! Thinking I'd try to overrule you- what the hell would I want a third of the Makai for? I'm damn good with my own hut, thank you very much."
Mukuro rolled her eyes, flicking her ki at Shigure's table. Allowing the metal to heat to a gilded form, she sneered as Shigure fell silent while she slowly helped the table to return to it's original form. It was wilted, a little bent, but still a usable table. Her ki retreating, she turned for the stairs to return to Hiei below.
"Thanks." Shigure called aimlessly after her back. She did not answer.
"You're going to regret putting Kirin in control." Hiei drawled from the bed, curled up on his side with his eyes half closed. He was exhausted from a day of walking back and forth in his tiny room, and had only a bare bowl of miso soup to eat. He was weak, even still, and Mukuro knew that despite what he'd like to think Hiei still had very far to go.
"I had no choice." Mukuro shrugged, not too distressed. She looked away to the door which separated their compartment from the living room, "You should have seen Kirin squabbling with Shigure. Pathetic."
"they all are." Hiei agreed. "Obsessed with advancement in our world."
"Some would say we were once that way." Mukuro added fairly.
"I never wanted advancement... only her."
Mukuro gave him a small smile.
Curled in her chair, Mukuro reached out through the stillness and touched the jet black tufts of Hiei's hair. Hiei closed his eyes all the way, breathing deeply.
"She must be wonderful." Mukuro murmured, her fingers lightly stroking the stiff strands of black and white.
"She is." Hiei agreed quietly.
"Does she look like you?" Mukuro asked, "With black hair and red eyes? You are twins after all."
"No." Hiei sighed, his eyes still closed. "No, she has aqua hair like our mother. All Koorime females look like their mothers... She's no different. She has red eyes though."
"So you have your mothers eyes."
"I don't know."
Hiei fell silent, and Mukuro continued to stroke his hair.
"... I have to get back to her." Hiei opened his eyes, looking to Mukuro. "... I have to get back to her as soon as I can. She's in danger so long as the doll is near. I'm certain our elders have sent it to finish off the pair of us. Now that they know I'm alive, they'll stop at nothing. Nothing." He added bitterly, "Bitches..." he whispered.
Mukuro said nothing, nodding silently as she tucked her other hand between her chin and shoulder.
"Give it a few more days." Mukuro offered, "Get well, get strong. We'll travel to human world as soon as we can."
"We?"
"I'm not going to loose my best general to some worthless cretin just because he's ill." Mukuro snorted. Hiei did not reply at first, instead gazing over her face.
"General, am I." He murmured tonelessly, "Is that all."
Mukuro rolled her eyes. Men... such pathetic creatures. Despite all their huffing and puffing they crumpled like paper when they felt unneeded by the women of their choosing.
"No." Mukuro muttered back. "You know that. Don't start whining."
Hiei grinned mischievously. It was the first time that he had smiled since his surgery, and it felt like ages since Mukuro had seen the corners of his mouth upturn. She'd missed that smile, rare and fleeting. It held promise for the future... beautiful promise.
"I'll leave that to Shigure." Hiei whispered. "Or Kirin."
Mukuro did not hesitate.
Leaning in with a light breath, their lips touched for the first time in a long time.
They did not love like ordinary couples, and their kisses were just as unique. Hard but dry, not for the showing of affection but the touching of skin- the assurance that they were both real and safe. Their teeth clashed, their tongues lashed out. It was not a heated passionate act, full of lust and the desire for sex. It was a consuming act, a deep and primal urge to be so full of one another that there would be no difference between the pair of them- no definitive line between who was who.
His taped hand came to stroke the scarred side of her face, and her dulled flesh tingled in the muscle where his warm fingertips stroked. She shivered, a little cold despite their intimacy, and Hiei sat up straighter to get better access to her mouth. Cupping her chin in his hands, he pulled her by the small of the back, urging her to his bed.
There was no need for sex, but if she was cold, he would warm her all the same.
Mukuro clambered onto the thickly padded mattress, and it was distinctly warm from Hiei's constant napping along with the large covering quilt. It warmed her at once, and she shivered again as she laid her head upon Hiei's chest to listen to his heartbeat. It was strong, firm and steady like a beating drum... yet she easily recalled when it had sounded extremely faint and weak. She treasured the strong beat, taking great comfort in its steadfast melody.
"Soon you'll see." Hiei murmured softly into the top of her pate, "What human world is."
"Mundane, and smelly." Mukuro grumbled into his chest.
"Yes." Hiei chuckled. "and more."
Mukuro did not ask him to illiterate, and he lay quiet for the rest of the evening.
Hiei was not the type to lay down and take dependancy for the norm. Up on his feet every waking moment, he took rounds by walking from the bed to the circular stairs which lead up to the operating room. Mukuro would watch him pace, marveling at how he attempted swordsman foot patterns while he walked. Forward heel, backward step, side pivot, and a deadly jab in epee form... Hiei was an unmatched master even when ill. His sword had been stowed for the meantime in an umbrella stand at the base of the stairs. On one repetitive march back and forth Hiei finally spotted his long lost tool; the glee in his slashing at mid air was palpable.
Mukuro marveled that Hiei's strength did not seem to come from napping but from working, and she decided on the spot that the next best step would be to start him on solid meals once again. That night, she ventured out of Shigure's hut and slaughtered a small deer, dragging the body back and roasting it in the front yard on a stick. The bloody meat was delicious in her mouth, and after eating his full meal Hiei was effectively drained and promptly went to bed.
One morning, Mukuro woke from her usual spot on Hiei's makeshift bed to find that Hiei had vanished. Curious, she rose from bed to see that Hiei was no where to be found below ground, and so she ventured upstairs to look around the operating room. She found Shigure reading the weekly paper from a chair in the corner of the room, drinking a strong cup of black coffee.
"Outside." Was all Shigure said, and so Mukuro walked out the front door.
The sun was bright and clear, with the morning only having just begun, and though Mukuro did not spot Hiei right away, she quickly found him by looking up and not around.
Hiei was garbed in his old fashioned black attire. It did her heart good to see him in his familiar clothes. Jumping and leaping with impeccable speed from the spires of Shigure's house to neighboring trees, Hiei took rounds going in circles as he slashed at limbs with his sword. Bits of tree showered down on the earth, and a few birds fluttered from their nests with irritable squawks as Hiei ruined their little homes.
"Hiei!" Mukuro called out, but Hiei did not stop to acknowledge her. Instead, he simply ran faster, slashing harder with his sword as he worked back up to speed.
If he wouldn't come to her, then she would come to him.
With a huff of air and a coiling of leg muscles, she sprang into the air and grabbed onto the edge of Shigure's weather beaten roof! Swinging her hips up and around, she gained ground and took off with a running leap into the canopy of trees.
Amid the blur of brown and green, she managed to finally get a hold of Hiei by the back of his shirt. Grabbing him tight, she flung him hard from the tree and the pair of them toppled through the air as Hiei kicked out and caught his footing just before they crashed to earth.
The pair of them landed apart, panting and smiling at each other.
"What?" Hiei demanded, "Are you so impudent and annoying that you cannot let me be for one moment? Typical woman!"
"Your disgusting tree display was making me sick to my stomach!" Mukuro sparred back, her grin vile, "If you're going to be pathetic go do it somewhere else! Weakling!"
Hiei scoffed. Mukuro clenched her fists.
The pair of them charged one another.
Fists flew like bullets through the air, seldom landing on their intended mark as the two duelers danced back and forth on tip toe. Their clothes fluttered through the air with a great flapping noise as kicks and jabs turned into flips and twirls- it was a demonic dance... a pure and beautiful form of art with the tablet of blood and the pen of bone.
They toppled into the grass, slipping on the wet blades full of morning dew, and both had the wind knocked out of them by the force of impact. Mukuro gasped, rolling onto Hiei and pinning his hands above his head even as he wrestled his hips into a rocking motion- he would fight for dominance till his lips were blue.
He paused, falling flat on his back and panting.
"... Get off." He gruffed, "I've given my all for the day."
"That all you have in you?"
Where before her tone had been jabbing and spiteful, now she showed true concern, tilting her head and letting his hands go so that he could rub his face wearily.
"Yes." Hiei finally admitted, his voice full of bitter acceptance.
"Alright." Mukuro rolled off of him, unpinning his legs, and helping him to his feet.
He brushed grass and leaves from his clothes, rolling his neck and buckling his sword back to his side.
"Fuck it." He muttered underneath his breath, "Fuck it all."
"Don't." Mukuro chided him, straightening her shirt before plucking a spare twig from his hair, "You and I both know what you've been through lately. That was a damn good spar."
"How the fuck am I supposed to get to human world if I can't defend myself? I'll be fucked!" Hiei cursed
"You act like you're going alone." Mukuro cut across, dry with Hiei's assumption, "I'm going with you Hiei. All the way."
"Don't be ridiculous." Hiei muttered, walking away.
Mukuro blanched.
Had it not been he, who, nights before, had urged her to go to human world? Had it not been he who had told her of all the beautiful promises that came with peace? Who was this man before her now, so cold to the idea, when he'd been begging her moons ago? It wasn't as if it had been her idea, but now he was making it sound as if she was the one piping ready to go.
"Excuse me!" Mukuro snarled, storming after him into the nearby woods, "Who the fuck do you think you are? You're the one who wanted me to go! Your little fox friend practically ordered me to follow you! I remember a different tune coming out of your mouth when I was in your bed!"
Hiei whirled around, looking downright furious amid the seasonal forest. A great crunching of dried fallen leaves occurred as Hiei stormed up to her, shoving her hard so that she fell into a weak tree trunk. She bounced off, her fist ready, and she slammed a punch right into his nose.
It broke, and Hiei cursed as blood shot out his nostrils. Cupping his face, blood dripped through his trembling fingers as he shot her a blazing glare.
"Lies!" Mukuro snarled, pointing a finger at Hiei, "You are the biggest, most notorious, most flamboyant liar I have ever met in my life, Hiei! And what for?! What do you gain by not telling the truth?! Distance from your sister who desperately needs you! Emotional detachment from the only people in your life that give a damn! Barriers between you and I that I have to climb over or dig under every time I want to make a fucking connection with you, lies!" She spat again. "Stop lying!"
Hiei said nothing, his hands still over his mouth and dripping with blood.
"You want me to come with you to human world!" Mukuro corrected him, her voice heated and rushed, "You want it still! So don't give me that bullshit, like I'd actually believe it! Yukina may be easy to lie to but I am not!"
"DON'T YOU DARE!" Hiei snarled, angrier than words could express, "Don't you DARE mention my sister in front of me!"
Blood dripped down his chin, and he lowered his hands to look her straight in the eye. Mukuro waited, tense in the pregnant pause.
"You think it's easy to lie to her?!" Hiei hissed, "You think I get some sick pleasure out of watching her toil over a phantom?! I lie to her because it keeps her safe and happy!"
"How does lying to someone keep them safe or happy?" Mukuro demanded, finding this logic poor and far below Hiei's usual thinking level. Why was it that when it came to Yukina Hiei stopped acting like himself and started behaving like a fool? What was it about her nature that turned his brain into a limp noodle?
Mukuro was determined to find out before it got them both killed.
"The farther I am away from her-"
"The closer the doll is!" Mukuro interjected. "That isn't my definition of safe, Hiei!"
Hiei looked away, grinding his teeth.
"Maybe you think that there's some good in being alone! Maybe you think living in exile is better than being with family... but your a selfish asshole for it." Mukuro narrowed her one good eye at this, "Because you've got a group of people who would do anything for you. And you run from them. Do you realize how many people live without-"
"Yes, Mukuro, I do realize!" Hiei's voice was scathing, "Because I was one of those people for over a hundred years! Do not presume that you understand all when it comes to my relationship with... others." Hiei finished lamely.
"Kurama came here." Mukuro brought up, thinking back to Kurama's visit and how protective the man had been when he'd seen Hiei in such terrible shape. "He was really worried about you Hiei. Extremely worried. He urged me to come to human world with you. He said that there was another side, and that I ought to see it. What are you so afraid of? Why do you not want me to see that side? Why don't you want me to see-"
"Because it is mine!"
Silence fell, save for the occasional soft crunch of a dried leaf falling to the forest floor.
Mukuro had never heard such selfish and yet... honest words... come from Hiei. Like a shattered shard of mirror into the darker part of his soul. The desperate part, that wanted and yearned.
"I didn't plan on staying." Hiei spat, "I didn't plan on enjoying the foul place as much as I did. It smells like shit and it's full of idiots! But those idiots... are my teammates." Hiei paused, his lips in a thin white line, "They are my..." He halted abruptly, as if the appropriate word had fled him at last minute.
"Family." Mukuro supplied shortly.
"... They are my teammates." Hiei repeated coldly. "I do not have others. I do not have an army." Hiei added scathingly, "I do not have a fortress. Like some." He growled. Mukuro flushed, taking offense but holding her tongue for the moment.
This was the price of loving an asshole. The knife was double bladed.
"... I have them. I have a dojo. An apartment. A ramen shop."
"A what-?"
"Do not test my patience!" Hiei snapped, a little irritated with himself as he remembered that Mukuro had utterly no idea what a 'ramen shop' was.
Mukuro bit her tongue again, making a personal note to ask Shigure later if he knew more on such locations as 'ramen shops'. Were they hostels for soldiers? Did they sell weapons?
Perhaps she would obtain them if she had a moment.
"I have these things, not because I stole them or won them. They were given to me. They were opened to me, out of trust." Hiei added, and it was clear from his tone of voice that even he had trouble believing the fact. "And they're mine."
"I'm not going to change that." Mukuro felt a twinge of hurt deep within her calloused heart. Just a twinge, nothing more. "How self obsessed are you. Thinking I'd try and change that." She grumbled.
"You will though." Hiei shook his head. "The minute they see you, you will change it."
"Why?" Mukuro demanded, her anger beginning to rise once more. "Why am I so loathsome-"
"You stupid woman you won't change it by being loathsome you'll change it be being you!" Hiei shouted, and Mukuro flushed a dark purple.
"What the fuck did you just call me!?" Mukuro demanded.
"They'll meet you and ask you a million questions that you won't have the answers to and at first it will drive you crazy!" Hiei carried on, ignoring the taunt through his own personal lamentation, "At first you're going to hate them all, and think that they're morons! But eventually those questions you first thought were stupid will start haunting you late at night! They'll start changing the way you look at things, and they'll make you think before you act! Before you speak! And you'll wake up one day to realize that you're devoted to a group of imbecilic morons because you, like them, have become soft and desiring for companionship! You'll wake up and want nothing more than to continue on with traditions that are pointless because it gives you a chance to see them! You'll eat meals together, sleep in the same room, share healing ointments and even fucking secrets!"
Mukuro had utterly no idea what to say.
For she had never been so touched in her life.
"You'll... You'll..." Hiei shook his head, taking a shuddering breath. "You'll tell them things you swore to yourself that you'd never tell anyone. Things that tore at your soul and made you feel small. Made you feel like... life was empty and meaningless. Things you were scared to talk about. Because... talking about them... validated their existence."
Mukuro could feel her heart pounding in her throat, and she swallowed to keep from letting her emotion show on her face.
Hiei's eyes were closed, and though there was blood on his face and a bruise on his cheek... he looked oddly at peace.
Perhaps because he was telling the truth.
"Growing up here, you're told never to be scared. To never show fear or emotion. To never cry or laugh; because you don't want to give your enemy the edge over you. At first I looked at them as enemies, because that was common and I understood how to handle myself. But I began to realize soon after that... they liked me. They listened to what I had to say, and they offered help with my problems. Personal problems, that were no ones business but my own." Hiei slowly opened his eyes.
All the anger had fled from them.
"Mukuro... I do not want you to go... because I'm still going there myself. I don't know why I'm always going back but I am. I go back to them. I eat their disgusting soup. I smile at their stupid jokes. I work on their pathetic cases and I sleep on their couches. And I'm... happy.. I suppose." Hiei finished lamely. "I'm not a king. I'm not feared. I don't have vast armies or servants or riches..."
Mukuro had to swallow again.
The knot in her throat was growing hot and painful.
"I have them. That's precious to me." Hiei rubbed at his eyes as if something was bothering him. "I have you here, and them there. And that's all." He shrugged at this, "My blessings stop there. But I'm content with it."
Mukuro felt a wetness on her cheek and rubbed at it hastily. Drawing a shaky breath, she looked away to stare aimlessly at an old tree that was dying. At its base a tiny new tree was beginning to form, desperately trying to gain sunlight and water in the ancient earth. Its struggle would be tremendous... but its rewards would be great.
"If you go... for the first time, everything I want will be in one place." Hiei spoke up quietly. "I do not know what I will do or say. I do not know how I react or feel. That, Mukuro, is what frightens me. Not knowing my own self."
Mukuro nodded silently, rubbing at her wetted cheek again.
She opened her mouth, thinking to say something, but no words would come and so she closed her mouth once again. There came a soft crunch of leaves underfoot, and she could sense Hiei drawing closer.
When his bandaged hand touched her cheek, she physically recoiled. His hand followed her, cool and comforting on her heated flesh.
"Look at me."
She could not, and so she kept staring at the baby tree. But Hiei's grip upon her cheek was growing stronger, and as he taunt thumb brushed the corner of her dried mouth she hesitantly licked her lips.
"Please."
She turned, unwilling to look him in the face straight away for fear of what she'd find there. But as she finally drew the courage from deep within to look into his eyes, she found what she'd been hoping for all along. Truth, bared for the world to see. Plain, undemanding truth, that told her she was loved and wanted. That asked her without speaking to be there and to respond. To validate their love. To prove their existence in a world where death lay around every corner and value seemed limited to monetary worth. Hiei's eyes, normally so cold and callous, were now strange pools of emotion swirling with hope, fear, questions, and even a few answers. He did not know everything, as Mukuro knew he often liked to, but he did know some things. Somehow, without her knowing why, he was... okay with that. Such acceptance was unheard of in demons, and it was foreign to her heart.
But not unwelcome.
"They call you my girlfriend." Hiei admitted, sounding slightly amused by this. "They've always wanted to meet you. They're idiots." He smiled at this. "But like everything else... they're right. There are three things in my life that I cannot go without. You are one of them. A part of me wants you to meet the other two... and it's hard to deny my heart that pleasure when I keep imagining the splendor I'll feel and see on that unknown day."
"I already told you I'd go." Mukuro whispered, her voice clipped with anger. "Why did you have to draw it out like this? Why did you have to say those things? Why couldn't you have just said 'okay'?"
Hiei smiled. Mukuro did not know whether this was a good or bad thing.
"Because. I wanted to say it." Hiei hesitated. "To you. So that you knew. What I felt."
"You're an idiot." Mukuro finally blurted out.
Hiei shrugged, his smile growing warmer.
"... I broke your nose." Mukuro's voice quivered as she touched the dried blood still dribbling from Hiei's inflamed nostrils. "Why did I have to break your nose."
"Quit asking questions. Save it for human world." Hiei offered the joke, a gentler way of saying 'it doesn't matter'.
Mukuro grabbed him, drawing him in tight.
She had only hugged him this way once before, on a war torn battle field with blood all around. She'd nearly killed him then, just to try and prove a point, and they'd ended up in each others arms content for the first time in their lives.
Now, in an old and dwindling forest on the southern most edge of demon world, they were once again content.
There were a few things you couldn't do without finding yourself.
Telling the truth was one of them.