Chapter 16
I cannot remember when I a bigger smile appeared on my face. I should have realized sooner. He only ever truly smiled for me, laughed for me. I was the only one he ever let his guard down around.
"Daryl….That whole thing with Shane….I am so sorry. I know not why I kissed him back. He is my friends, the first one I have ever had, and I care for him. However I do not love him. I think now you know that." I said.
He nodded and then Glenn and T-dog returned. They tossed down a rope and I grabbed it and twisted it around my wrist. I made sure I had a good grip on Daryl and then they pulled us up while I somewhat climbed. When we were safely at the top of the cliff T-dog helped me get him back to the farm.
Rick, Andrea, Shane and Dale came running over.
"What happened?!" Rick asked.
I looked at Shane.
"Did you not tell them?" I asked.
"He said that was what he was going to do." Glenn said.
I glared at him and then T-dog and I carried him the rest of the way to the house. Hershel stitched up his side and I cleaned him up a little. Lori, Carol, Beth, Patricia and Maggie had made a big dinner for all of us. I didn't want to leave Daryl but they insisted that I get something to eat. I gave in and went down to eat with the others. It was awkwardly quiet.
"Does uh….anyone play guitar? Dale found a sweet one up on the high way. Come on someone has to play." Glenn said.
"Otis did." Patricia said.
"Yes he did and he played very well." Hershel added.
I looked at Shane and something in his eyes made me feel uneasy. Something didn't add up. I looked down and saw Maggie slip Glenn a note. I smiled to myself and then went upstairs to see Daryl. Carol had brought him food. I walked inside and he seemed to be asleep. I smiled softly and then sat down on the edge of the bed. I looked at him and smiled. When asleep he looked so peaceful. It reminded me of how the world was before all of this, that there was still hope left. I took a deep breath and said what I knew I would never say while he was awake.
"Before I met you Daryl…..well I was not like I am now. Yes I am kind…..but there was more kindness and compassion in me before. Now most of who I am is a strong but un-trusting woman. It was taken away from me. I only ever told Shane because I thought…..well he was a good man then. I wanted so much to tell you. I knew not how. I was raped by a man I trusted and thought to be my friend. I never told my sisters for they would have certainly killed him. I had no friends and my adoptive parents were gone…..I kept it all inside. That night at the CDC when I ran…My mind wondered to what that man did. I am so sorry. I know you would never hurt me in any way. And I would never hurt you. I will never leave you and I will always be there. You saw me for who I was. I love you Daryl Dixon and I always will." I whispered.
I leaned down and kissed him softly before standing up and leaving the room. As I walked outside I heard arguing out by the camp. I slowly crept over and heard Dale and Shane.
"None of this would have happened if you would just realize that both Lori and Prue are with someone." Dale said.
"This is not your business Dale." Shane hissed.
"I saw you turn your gun on Rick! Lori would never forgive you, and if you ever did that to Daryl Prue would most definitely kill you. You had him in your sights and would have shot if I hadn't been there." Dale said.
"You think that's the kind of man I am? Well let's say I am. Let's say I would shoot Rick, my best friend, what do you think I'm gonna do to a man who can't mind his own business that I don't even like?" He said.
The venom and aggression in his voice sent shivers up my spine. This was not the Shane I knew, no this man was cruel and heartless. If he wanted something he would do whatever it took to get it…..and remove whatever and whoever would get in the way. I heard Shane walk off and then I went to Dale. He looked at me and smiled trying to hide what had happened.
"I heard. Is it true? All of it?" I asked.
Dale's smile fell and he nodded.
"He isn't the man you thought he was. Keep an eye on Daryl. Don't trust Shane and be careful." He said.
He walked to the RV and I looked in the direction that Shane had walked off. I wished not to believe it. However I knew what I had heard. A few tears slid down as I accepted that Shane was slipping away. I let my legs carry me away. Hoping they would lead me to comfort.
"Goddess of love and compassion lead me to safety. Lead me home." I whispered.
I walked absentmindedly into the house, up the stairs and into the room with Daryl. The moon was shining through the window. I looked at the sleeping man before me. His muscular chest rising and falling and his face at a calm. I opened the window slightly. I looked back at Daryl and made my way across the room. I lay down on the bed and propped myself up on my elbow. That was when Daryl slowly woke up.