Now, the cold wind
blows out my candles.
Feeling only fear,
without any hope ;;
It was the first time Jasper had ever been to Bella's house. He knew where it was, of course, and the rest of the family had gone over several times before Bella's return in order to keep an eye on her father, but Jasper had stayed away intentionally. They'd continued going now that Bella was back, but Jasper still stayed at home. The others claimed that they understood and not questioned it at all. Jasper knew better. They didn't really understand. They were under the impression that he wasn't going because he was grieving too much, and being near Bella was too much of a reminder of what happened. While that was somewhat true, there was another reason that had really kept him from going. Bella was afraid of him. He'd felt it clear as day when she came to the house. He didn't want to make it worse by being the one who stayed outside her house at night, especially if she saw him. That didn't mean he had no intention of helping Bella, but he didn't want to make a bad situation worse.
That was why he was so conflicted when he heard her message on the answering machine.
The others had gone hunting. Jasper's hunting schedule was not the same as the rest of the family's anymore. He went sporadically and only when he absolutely had to, which had been two days prior. He never answered the phone, so it was nothing new when he let the machine pick up that day. What wasn't expected, was that the caller was Bella. She'd left a frantic message about someone having been in her room. Jasper had been very torn with what to do at first. The others weren't going to be back until sometime the following day, which only left him to go assess what the situation was. If it was something serious, then leaving her unattended could be dangerous. Jasper had attempted to reach Carlisle, but the family must have been somewhere out of range for his cell phone. With no alternative, Jasper had gotten into his car and driven to Bella's house.
Jasper's car was foreign on her street and most in general. It was very rare that he drove it. As expensive and conspicuous as most of the Cullen automobiles were, Jasper's was no different. It was a black 1956 Jaguar XK 120 roadster; a convertible, no less. Fortunately it wasn't raining and the weather wasn't freezing, so it didn't appear too strange for him to be out driving it, though it was typically just for show and special occasions. He was sitting in it currently, around the corner from Bella's house. He had no intention of parking in front of it should Charlie come home and question the strange car being there, or one of her neighbors seeing it and telling the chief of police about it later. It was... a bit of a struggle for him to get out of the car. He didn't want to scare Bella even more by being there with her, but he also didn't want her to be alone if there was a threat lurking nearby. There was a chance that it was related to the murders in Seattle, and there was also the possibility that it was a completely unrelated incident. Either way, it needed to be checked out. That was why he got out of the car.
He planned on just examining the room and then waiting outside, out of her sight, until someone else could come to take his place. He'd continue to try to reach Carlisle so they would know to come to Bella's as soon as possible. That was the plan and he hoped they would come soon for both his sake and Bella's. It would've been easiest for him to just go to her window and enter her room that way, but he didn't want to frighten her even more by showing up unannounced in what was probably the same manner that her room was invaded. He knew that Edward liked to use the window, too. So Jasper opted for the front door. It wasn't easy, but somehow he managed to ring the doorbell and knock twice. It wouldn't be a fair warning. Surely she'd expect Carlisle or Esme, Emmett, or even Rosalie to show up before him. He knew that, and felt guilty for undoubtedly shocking her with his presence. But there was nothing he could do about it now, except wait for her to answer the door.
It wasn't unlikely for Bella to see things that weren't there or dream up things that didn't really happen. Since the incident in Volterra, it had become more frequent. But that afternoon when she went up to her room to collect the laundry, things were amiss. The clothes that had been carelessly left on her desk chair or the few pieces strewn on the floor were missing. Charlie couldn't have done it. He was in Seattle for the night to see if he could gain any more insight about the murders. Bella hadn't wanted him to go, but she figured he would be safer there than he probably would have been here. After all, she knew something wasn't right about the string of deaths. But that didn't put her at any ease when she realized her room had been tampered with. If her missing clothing hadn't been enough, the open window was what sold her. She knew, for a fact, that it had been closed when she went downstairs that morning. She never left it open anymore. There was no need.
Disregarding the laundry basket, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the first number she could think of. But Esme's voice came on the machine and Bella was forced to leave a message. It may have been a bit too panicked, but there was something about this whole situation that didn't sit well with the brunette. She had a bad feeling to say the very least. She didn't know where they were or when they would return and so when a knock had sounded at the door, she nearly jumped out of her skin, especially when it was paired with the doorbell. Looking around the hallway, she crept toward the door slowly, seizing the only weapon within reach – an umbrella.
Right. Because that would have done the job when dealing with a predator.
But thankfully, her weapon of choice wouldn't be needed. Opening the door, she gasped when she saw Jasper. But it was one of instant relief.
"Jasper?" she questioned, not having expecting him.
Even if he'd gotten the message somehow, she hadn't seen him since the last time she'd been at the Cullen's home and that hadn't gone so well. Though she had feared him for the pain she caused him then, she couldn't think of that now. All she could do was to inwardly say a prayer that he was there at the moment. And that Charlie wasn't.
"Did you get my message?" she asked. "Someone was here," she said, beginning to string sentences together quickly and not giving him a chance to respond. She often had this habit when she was nervous and whatever had occurred in her room, while she was in the house no less, had worked on her nerves for certain.
"I don't know when. I was here the whole time. Just downstairs. But my clothes…. They're missing. And the window is open. I never leave the window open. Charlie is in Seattle and won't be home until tomorrow. I know it couldn't have been him. But no one could have broken in downstairs or I would have heard them and nothing is missing of value," she said, taking a breath. Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him, explaining.
Jasper wasn't sure what to expect when the door opened. He thought she'd probably be startled to see him; his presence typically had that effect on people. He was preparing himself to be hit with that overwhelming sense of fear that he'd felt when he last saw her, but it didn't surface when he saw her. He could tell she was afraid, but the fear wasn't directed at him specifically. No doubt her anxiety over the situation was the cause for that. Still, he thought surely there would be hesitation before she spoke to him or even acknowledged him. Again, it must have been the anxiety.
It was a good thing that he was typically a man of few words. That could be argued, as there were times when he was quite talkative, but in most situations he preferred to stay quiet. This was one of those situations. Bella was doing most of the talking for him, it seemed. Mostly she was repeating what he'd heard on the answering machine in the same slightly panicked way. There was some additional information though, like the fact that some of her clothes were missing. That was concerning. Nothing of real value was gone; nothing of value to a human, anyway. He'd already had his suspicions, but now he was almost positive that the intruder was a vampire. There was still speculation as to whether it was an isolated incident or not, but he thought maybe he'd have a better idea of that after he saw her room.
He found it was easier to be there in her presence than he thought it would be. Jasper attributed it to having a task to focus on, but he didn't think that was entirely true. He felt the usual burn in his throat and the thumping of her heart, slightly accelerated from her anxiousness, pounded in his ears. It was painful but it was something he'd expected. He had not expected the emotional ease.
"May I have permission to look in your room?" He asked after she'd taken a moment to breathe.
He wasn't sure what he'd gain from it; more confirmation to his suspicions, most likely, but there might be something there to provide more of an explanation. Jasper's voice was steady and calm, as he wanted to provide a sense of stability in the situation. Bella was obviously quite shaken by this and with good reason. He knew it would do no good for him to appear nervous. He'd been tempted to calm her with his power, but refrained for now. She had every right to be upset.
It was a wonder that Bella didn't throw her arms around him when she saw him for how relieved she felt that someone was there. She never minded being alone. In fact these days, she preferred it. It left her father torn. Part of him never wanted to let her out of his sight for fear that she would do something drastic in her extreme grief and yet, another part of him wanted to stay away because it was difficult to watch his daughter go through something like this. He'd seen something like it earlier that year when the Cullen's left unexpectedly. But this was permanent. Two of them, including the one Bella had been in love with, would never be returning. It was a painful thing for a father to endure for his daughter.
For that reason, he'd be hesitant to leave her for the night to go to Seattle. But it was partially because of Bella that he was so determined to gain some insight as to what was going on with these killings. They were getting closer to Forks every week now it seemed and the chief of police wasn't about to stand for it. Now, Bella felt lucky that Charlie was gone for the night. What would have happened if he would have been there?
When Jasper asked if he could see her room, she nodded. She noted how calm he seemed to be, enough so that he still maintained utter politeness when he questioned her – and suddenly felt very foolish for having panicked in the manner she did. It was warranted, certainly. But she was quite sure she could have kept her head on a little straighter instead of drilling him with information the second he came into sight. After all, they weren't exactly on easy terms with one another after the last time she'd seen him. That much had been apparent in the way he made such a speedy exit. Still, it didn't change the fact that it was Jasper who'd come to check things out when Bella called and that gave her hope.
Opening the door, she stepped back to allow him in before leading him through the house. Moving up the stairs, she stopped in front of her bedroom door which was still open.
"It's this one," she said, stepping in before him. "I had clothes there," she said, pointing to the desk chair. "And there." Another motion to the floor. "Why would someone want to take my clothes?" It didn't make any sense to her.
It was good to be reassured that Charlie wouldn't be back until the following day sometime. Jasper didn't want to have to come up with a reason for him being there, especially if Chief Swan came home while he was inspecting Bella's room. It would have been no trouble at all for Alice; she could come up with an excuse for anything, not to mention her being a girl would have taken quite a bit of the pressure off. Alice could... Jasper stopped his train of thought. He couldn't allow himself to think about his mate if he wanted to get through this without falling apart. The fact was, Charlie not being there made things easier at the moment. The only downside was that he was in Seattle where the bulk of the attacks were.
Of course he'd never been inside this house before. He wasn't sure he'd ever been inside a human's house before, truthfully. Immediately, he was flooded with Bella's scent and what he assumed was Charlie's. It was a bit overwhelming, but if he could endure school everyday, surrounded by multiple humans at once, he thought he'd be able to handle being in a house occupied by two people. He took note of the layout of each room he passed. It was part of his strategic mindset; if someone was sneaking into the house, he wanted to know where he or she could possibly lurk.
Jasper followed Bella into her bedroom and took in the room all at once, then turned to study each section of the room in increments. He breathed in, and though it wasn't overly potent, he could smell the scent of vampire in the room. He said nothing at first but moved to where she indicated that the missing clothing had been and sniffed discretely. Obviously whoever it was had used the window, so he didn't bother checking it. This was very disturbing to say the least. Whoever had come in had no reservations about being there. Jasper didn't think it was a newborn though, because there was no way a newborn would be able to pass up feasting on a human that was right downstairs.
"To get your scent," he replied, still speaking calmly.
He didn't think it was necessary to sugar coat or try to hide the facts from her. She deserved to know the truth as far as he was concerned, no matter how frightening it might be. "Though I can't understand why."
He frowned and moved to the window finally, looking to see where would be the best place to keep an eye on it from the outside. They couldn't leave her house unattended ever again.
Bella would have been lying if she said that she didn't think it could have been a vampire in her room. Or else something not of this human world. She was naïve and certainly wasn't daft enough to think that a random burglar did this. But a very small, almost child-like part of her was hoping there was some sort of other explanation. Perhaps she put too much pressure on Jasper, but she was expecting him to have some sort of wonderfully easy excuse for all of this. In her mind, she could easily dream up other scenarios – maybe Rose was disgusted with the way she looked and took her clothes so she would have to get new ones. Right. Bella could dream things would be that insignificant and miniscule.
But Jasper's explanation woke her up from any hope of things being easy.
"My scent?" she asked, her brow furrowing slightly. "But… why would they want my scent if I was just right downstairs?" she asked, puzzled by this. It didn't make sense that a vampire would creep into her room, take her clothes, and then leave. Why wouldn't they just kill her right then and there? She was alone. They had to have smelled her. Why wouldn't they have just taken the opportunity and ended it?
"They could have just…" she shook her head without finishing her statement. She figured he already knew what she would have said.
Sighing, she took another look around her room before coming to stand beside him by the window. Peering outside, she noted it was getting darker. To her, it was impossible to see anything. Someone could have been watching them right now and Bella would be blind to it all. She wouldn't be able to sense them, smell them. Neither would Charlie. Thinking about this made her miss Edward. With him, she never had to worry. He was always there, right beside her. Or at least, he always had been until he left. In fairness, nothing harmful happened to her then. Nobody had come stalking her room or nicking her clothing. But Bella had been so miserable with him gone that she didn't notice anything aside from the way her chest burned without him and the empty hole that never seemed to fill.
Of course she still felt like that. A hundred times worse. But there was something different now. It was permanent. It was what it felt like to live without hope. She'd seen everything with her own eyes and knew there was no chance that he was coming back. Perhaps that's why she was more in tune with her surroundings, protecting her household and the ones she loved. It was the only reason she could think of. But the word 'coping' wouldn't be one that sat easily with her.
"Was it Victoria?" she asked, looking back up at the blonde.
He was trying to think of the answers to all of those questions, but nothing seemed to strike him as an answer he wanted to give her. Nothing really fit. He needed some time to process this, maybe even try to track the scent. It wouldn't be easy; he wasn't a trained tracker, but part of it was just natural instinct. The problem was that he couldn't leave Bella unguarded. There was a chance that he'd follow the wrong trail and the vampire might come back. This wouldn't be a problem when the others came back, but Jasper feared that by then, the trail would be cold. He needed them there. He could at least bounce ideas off Carlisle and Esme would be better at comforting Bella than him.
"I don't know," he said, in response to all of her questions. "Victoria was the first that came to mind, but... I don't know why she would only take your clothes. Especially with you in the house. I don't know what her motives would be. Then again, I don't know any vampire that would come into a human's house to steal clothes, unless they'd just fed and needed some new attire. I'm... honestly hoping that's all it was, but I think it would be a mistake to disregard this. I can't rule out a connection between this and what's going on in Seattle either."
Jasper chanced looking down at her and met her eyes briefly before looking away. It was hard for him to hold eye contact with anyone anymore.
"I'm going to need to talk to Carlisle about this. Your house won't be left unguarded anymore, though. No one will get into your room again. I know that doesn't take away from what happened, but it won't be repeated." He realized this was probably the most he'd ever spoken to Bella. The closest to it was when they were running from James.
"Do you want to stay here tonight or would you feel safer at the house? The others are hunting, but I'll keep trying to reach them."
He wasn't the only one who noted that it had been the most conversation the two of them ever held. While Bella had never talked much to Jasper, she certainly said more than the blonde ever had to her. But now he was actually discussing the situation with her as well as her options for what to do next. She wished he would have had more answers to her questions, but she didn't blame him for not doing so. This was an unexpected situation and obviously one that neither of them had been prepared for. Otherwise, the rest of the Cullen clan wouldn't have gone hunting for the night and left Jasper to be the only one around when Bella was in need of a safeguard.
She liked his explanation about one of the vampires coming because they needed human clothes. It was a lot easier to swallow than were some of the other things that could have been a motive. Still, he assured her they couldn't rule other possibilities out and with a sigh, Bella nodded her head in agreement. When he met her eyes, there was a flicker of fear once more - only because she swore she could see guilt reflected there. His coloring was dark, signifying that he hadn't fed in awhile. But Esme had mentioned to her that he was avoiding it as much as possible and thus, it wasn't too big of a surprise for Bella.
Her eyes went back to the window when Jasper averted his quickly.
"Thank you," she said when he promised that no one would be able to repeat the same offense that someone had done earlier that afternoon. It was a relief to hear, despite the fact that she was still creeped out by it. Upon his question, Bella had to take a moment to think it over. On one hand, she could stay in a potentially dangerous house that had just been broken into not more than a few hours before. On the other hand, she could flee the house for the night and take solace at the Cullen's. But the sad memories that she knew she would be faced with there weren't ones she could bring herself to terms with. Not yet.
"I'd rather stay here," she said after a minute or so. She didn't offer an explanation further than that. Her guilt was beginning to return. "But... you don't have to," she said. "I know it's... hard for you, Jasper," she said. "I'm sorry." There were reasons why he had been the only one who'd never kept guard outside of her house. As far as she was aware anyway. And Bella didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable than she knew her presence already did.
"I'm really... sorry," she said again, turning to face him once more.
Jasper truly couldn't blame her for not wanting to go back to the Cullen house. If he had an alternative, he'd probably take it too. He cared deeply for his family, but, being in that house was really hard for him pretty much all of the time. Sometimes he'd think he was getting better, but then the grief would come back all over again and he'd fall into a terrible state of despair. There was nowhere else for him to go though, and he knew leaving would just crush Esme's heart. He couldn't bring himself to do that.
He didn't mind guarding her house. There were reasons why he hadn't, of course, but it wasn't because it was a burden or anything in that regard. It wasn't even because of his thirst. Jasper just feared that his presence would make her uncomfortable. The obvious reason for that was because of Edward and Alice. He had those same reservations. Bella was the only one who knew what really happened to his brother and his wife and he couldn't imagine how traumatic it must have been for her. He wanted to know. At least, he thought he did, but he didn't know how to ask her without upsetting her.
The other obvious reason? He'd lunged at her and tried to kill her. Him being in the same vicinity as her just didn't seem like a good idea.
Her thanking him and then addressing the fact that it was difficult for him to be there, followed by an apology all made him suddenly very self-aware. He'd been so focused on the issue at hand, the invasion of her room, that he'd pushed everything else to the back of his mind. It was how he was able to function without completely falling apart. Her consideration for his well-being and his feelings caused his train of thought to derail completely. What was she apologizing for? He could feel the guilt coming from her, but he didn't understand why. Was she feeling responsible for something that wasn't her fault? Was she sorry for Alice's sake? Was she sorry because she knew of his thirst? He didn't know, and he didn't want to insult her by asking what she meant, so he stayed quiet at first and continued to look outside.
"You don't owe me any apologies, Bella," he said quietly. "I know I wouldn't be your first choice to guard your home. I'll keep trying to reach the others, and, just stay until one of them can get here. You won't even notice me, I promise. I just wouldn't feel right about leaving." He knew she was looking at him, and he wanted to turn and look at her too, but he just couldn't. He was feeling ashamed again, for what he'd done to her.
Though the idea had struck her when he appeared at the door and even afterward when they were standing in her room discussing what could have happened that afternoon, it didn't really strike Bella until she looked up at Jasper again what it meant for him to actually be there. She was the last one to see his wife and his brother alive. She was the only one to know what really happened in Italy. And she held herself as solely responsible for all of it. Certainly, everyone else saw it that way too. If she hadn't been so foolish, a trip to Italy never would have occurred. Jasper would be out with Alice and the rest of the family hunting while Edward stayed with Bella and kept her close to him at all times.
Instead, the pair of them were together in somewhat of a very awkward situation. But despite discomfort, Bella admired Jasper for his bravery. Perhaps he wouldn't have seen it that way - brave wasn't the first word that came to mind when people described vampires. Usually, they didn't need to be brave, They were the feared creatures, not the other way around. But there were worse demons and crueler monsters and they came with the death of a loved one. Jasper, in order to look after Bella now when he answered her frantic called, had to face his straight in the eye. That took courage and whether or not he would choose to believe it, the girl couldn't let it go completely unnoticed.
"You can say what you like, Jasper, and tell me not to apologize, but I'm going to," she said, somewhat firmly. "But I... do want you to understand that I appreciate you staying more than you know." The last part of her statement was softer, almost with a hint of defeat.
In a way, Bella was defeated. She was a mature person, one who didn't like to admit she could be extremely fearful and weak at times. But the truth was, that despite the worlds she'd mixed herself up in unintentionally, Bella was still very much a human girl. Only human. She couldn't help but to grow afraid at times, especially when part of the solution was unknown. This was one of those times. Though she wouldn't admit it out loud explicitly, she didn't want to be alone. She was afraid to be that night.
Jasper would have laughed bitterly if he'd known Bella thought him to be brave. Any trait in regards to strength he felt need not apply to him. It was his weakness, his lack of control that all of this had happened. Bella may have thought her actions were reckless, and maybe they were, but it was Jasper's weakness that had set everything into motion. It was his actions that ultimately resulted in the deaths of his brother and mate. As far as he knew, Bella was still afraid of him and he felt she was right to be. She should be afraid. He was a monster, a killer, unpredictable and blood thirsty. It hurt him to think that way, to truly believe he should be feared even by someone he cared about, but for her sake it was better that way.
He didn't want to focus on his own worries right now, though. As much as he tended to stoop into his depression and brood for hours, even days at a time, there was a bigger picture here. Jasper needed to regain his focus for the time being and worry about the situation at hand while he was the one guarding Bella. Getting distracted with his grief wasn't an option at this time. He had to protect her now. He could grieve again later. It wasn't as if he didn't have the time.
Her words reached him, but Jasper said nothing at first. His initial instinct told him that she probably felt she had to say something like that just to be nice. He could feel that she was being genuine however, and that confused him. Maybe, she was just glad he was there because it meant someone was looking out for her, watching the for the danger that she wouldn't be able to see or stop. That was understandable. Bella had fallen victim to a situation she couldn't truly function in. Her whole existence had been altered and her world uprooted when she met Edward. Jasper could understand. His world had been altered several times over the last one hundred and sixty three years. He could imagine that she was probably feeling very alone in all of this. Even if Edward had been there, he wouldn't be able to understand, truly, what she was going through. He imagined it had to be very lonely for Bella, and very frightening.
"It's not an inconvenience," he said. "I'm.. relieved to be of some use. I'll need to walk the perimeter of your property and acquaint myself with it a little more intimately. Then I'll situate myself accordingly. Like I said, you won't even know I'm there, so.. you can go about your night as you would."
When Jasper had gone, Bella took a few minutes to collect herself. Closing her eyes, she sat on her bed and tried to breathe normally, but she couldn't deny that she was still feeling extremely anxious. Whereas she hadn't been lying when she said she took comfort in Jasper being close by, she still couldn't help but worry. If Victoria returned, what would that mean? Jasper was one in the Cullen family who seemed to be well-versed when it came to fighting as it was once mentioned to her before, but he was on his own. What if something happened to him and he wasn't able to defend himself? Bella would have been completely useless and since it didn't seem like he'd gotten a hold of his other family members, there was a chance that things could end badly. After all, Bella didn't know how good of a fighter he was exactly or how much experience he had, especially when he wasn't flanked by others. She did know that he hadn't been brought up in the same way that the others were by Carlisle. Would that be an advantage or a disadvantage? She couldn't be sure, but what she was sure of was that it wouldn't be promising if he was caught off guard while guarding her house alone and unable to reach any of the other Cullen's.
It was a wonder that she managed to fall asleep so easily that night. Bella thought for sure that she would struggle with doing so considering the events earlier that evening. But for some reason, she was out very soon after her head hit the pillow. That was the way she preferred things, but it was a luxury she was not often granted. Since Jasper had gone to survey the perimeter, she had done what he'd instructed and went about her night as normally as she could. She brushed her teeth and dressed in the bathroom and when she returned, it was too dark outside for her to see anything at all. It was a mystery whether or not he was there as far as actually seeing him was concerned, but Bella knew that Jasper wouldn't have left without telling her.
Even though she fell asleep easily, there was an obvious downside. It only meant that the nightmares would come that much sooner. The theory was proven when not long after she was in a deep slumber, images of Volterra pieced together in her head. It was always the same characters, the same scenarios in her dreams – never anything promising or pleasant and never anything that left her feeling happy when she woke the next morning. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to awake with wet cheeks or screaming. Charlie never even bothered to come check on her anymore. It had become such a frequent practice that he gave up. It was difficult for him to endure, but he knew that sadly, there was nothing he could do to erase what his daughter was seeing in her head. This night was no different, but the chief of police wasn't even there to turn over on his side and listen from the other room while Bella got worked up.
It wasn't her dream alone that woke her this night, however. It was a loud clap of thunder that felt as if it shook the house and echoed off the far mountains in the distance. Bella awoke with a fright, shaken from her sleep. Part of her was thankful – in her dream, she hadn't gotten to the worst images yet. But the sudden jolt of sound still scared her. Sitting up, she peered at the window curiously. It was closed now, but rain was pounding against it with angry force behind it. Briefly, a brilliant flash of light struck at the sky and illuminated the tree outside, the branches wavering with the wind.
It was then that Bella remembered Jasper. Pushing back her quilt, she pulled herself out of bed and quickly went to the window, greeted with a shower of rain splattering against the pane when she opened it. Squinting, she peered into the darkness when another clap of thunder sounded.
"Jasper?" she called. Surely he'd gone to take shelter somewhere.
"Jasper?" she called again, a little bit louder. It sounded like her voice had been carried right off with the wind.
It had been a while since he'd really exercised his surveillance skills. He'd done it a little when they were on the run from James, but that battle had ended faster than he could really put his skills to good use. He'd been feeling very worthless lately, so at least by guarding Bella he felt like he had some purpose. That was a start, anyway.
He'd taken to perching in a tree that overlooked both ends of the street. Jasper wished he had a way to observe both sides of the house, but if the entry point had been Bella's window, this was the best place for him to keep an eye out for danger. He'd been alternating from his current position to another tree in the back of the house, moving back and forth every so often. He preferred the place he was in now though, because it gave him a direct view of Bella's window and most of the area surrounding the house all together. Jasper had, unfortunately, left the property one time. When the rain started to fall, he went to his car briefly to put the top up, but he was gone and back in the blink of an eye. It hadn't resulted in any danger creeping up without him there, but it wasn't something he planned on doing again.
While waiting, he continued to try to reach his family members with no such luck. It was getting frustrating, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He didn't want to ruin his phone, so he gave up while it started to pour down. The tree provided little shelter from the pounding rain, but it didn't really bother Jasper. It was more of an annoyance than anything else. He wasn't cold and of course he couldn't get sick, but his curls were matted down against his face and his clothes were all wet. He'd endured worse. After all, all of their baseball games were played during thunderstorms. Jasper tried very hard not to let himself think about how they probably wouldn't be playing much anymore. It just wouldn't be right, would it?
His thoughts were cut off by the sound of Bella's voice piercing the air. Immediately Jasper went into defensive mode. Had something happened? Did she hear a noise, see something he hadn't? He hadn't seen or heard anything suspicious himself, but he knew that even with his heightened senses it was possible he'd missed something. After all, he wasn't at the top of his game. Jasper left the tree he'd been in and immediately climbed into the one outside her window.
"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked, seeing her there. "Did you see something?"
When he appeared, Bella, again, felt relief she didn't expect to feel. He had to have been close by the whole time otherwise he wouldn't have appeared so quickly when her voice had hardly come out more than a whisper. Or at least, to her ears against the sounds of the storm. If his quick presence alone hadn't been enough of an indication that he hadn't gone far, his appearance certainly clued her in. Instantly, Bella felt bad that he had been outside in this mess. She wasn't naïve enough to think that the cold rain could really affect him, but it was just the idea of him sitting outside and enduring it for her sake. It was something that tugged at her compassion and she wasn't about to let him stay out there. He was doing enough as it was.
From his tone, she realized that calling out to him like that may have made it seem as if there was something wrong. There wasn't of course, unless one counted Jasper being outside with such bad weather. Bella did count that though.
"No, no," she said quickly to assure him. If she was getting wet just standing at the window while still in her room, she could only imagine how soaked through he was. It was obvious in the way his hair clung to his face and his clothes stuck to his body like a second skin. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said. Taking a few steps back to avoid the rain, she motioned for him to follow.
"Come inside. You can't stay out there when it's like this." She sounded very much like a mother just then, reminding her of the ways she would instruct Renee to do something rather than the other way around. When she was little, her mother liked to go outside and do cartwheels in the rain, saying they should 'celebrate' such a rare occurrence in Phoenix. Bella would always refuse and shake her head when her scatterbrained mother danced around in it, but soon would wind up laughing and joining in.
She didn't wait for him to listen before turning her back and leaving the room momentarily. Disappearing into the bathroom, she grabbed a few clean towels and started back for her room. She paused though, when she passed Charlie's door. Thinking for a second, she pushed it opened and rummaged through his drawers. Jasper couldn't continue to wear his own clothes. They were drenched from what she could see, and she wasn't about to make him. Finding a pair of drawstring sweatpants and a dark faded t-shirt, she returned to her room with the dry clothes and towels in tow.
"I brought you some of Charlie's clothes and some towels to dry off," she said, holding them up for her to see. "You can't stay like that." Whether or not he'd chosen to come in upon her instructions or not, she was adamant about this. "You're soaking."
Jasper wasn't sure what he should say. He didn't think it would be right for him to just go inside for the duration of the storm. He couldn't properly watch her property. Though, there was also the chance that whoever was responsible for the break-in had seen him, and therefore would not be coming. There was also the possibility that if whoever it was came back, Jasper could attack them upon entering the house and take care of the problem. He also wasn't really sure what to make of the situation. He hadn't expected Bella to ask him in; it wasn't that he thought her heartless, to make him stay out in the rain. He just thought she was sleeping. It really, truly wasn't a big deal for him to spend the night in the rain.
Apparently Bella wasn't going to take no for an answer. Before he could even say anything, she'd left the room. It was weird that he felt concern coming from her. He knew Bella was a caring girl, but he thought she couldn't stand him. He thought she was terrified of him; why should she want him to come into her room again? Why should she want to make sure he was out of the rain and in such tight quarters. Jasper didn't have the answers to those questions. All he could do was wonder, and come in out of the rain. He climbed in through the window and had just entered when she came back with some clothes for him.
"Oh, well I..."
He wasn't sure he should take them. The human scent would be overwhelming, wouldn't it? Jasper looked down at his drenched clothes, then back up at the offering. "I'm sorry about the floor, I..." He could feel her determination to get him to take the clothes, and figured it wasn't worth arguing or coming up with an excuse to go back outside.
"Thank you." He carefully took the towel and clothes from her and moved past her towards the bathroom he'd passed on the way to her room before.
The clothes fit a little awkwardly; Jasper wasn't exactly built the same as Chief Swan, but he made it work as best he could. After drying off and dressing himself, he hung his wet clothes over the shower curtain rod, then towel dried his hair. His curls got a bit unruly, but after combing his fingers through them several times they calmed down. He emerged from the bathroom a short time later, having only needed a few minutes to change. He needed to get back to looking out the window to at least start surveying as best he could. Walking back into the room, he found himself feeling a bit awkward all over again.
"I'll stay until the rain calms a little. Then I really should get back outside."
Bella was glad he listened to her and not only had come inside, but took the dry clothes as well. It eased her guilt slightly of having him be stuck watching over her if he wasn't subjected to the poor weather any more. She could tell he was hesitant though and why wouldn't he be? Now, because she was so insistent, he would be in even closer quarters with a girl that he hated. She could imagine how badly he must have been inwardly kicking himself now for his bad luck at being the only one home when she called earlier on, and especially, because he was getting himself into a lot more than he bargained for. Part of that was the fault of the storm but mainly, it was on account of Bella's stubbornness, a trait that despite everything that had happened to change her in the past couple of months, hadn't wavered.
When he left the room to change – thankfully without creating an awkward moment in the process (she had debated leaving herself to give him privacy) – she turned the light on and closed the bedroom window before using one of the other towels she'd brought from the bathroom to run over the windowsill to dry it. Then she dropped it on the floor and dragged it along with her bare foot to mop up the moisture trail that had followed Jasper to the hallway. It was easy considering the wood floor, but she wanted to make sure it was cleaned before he came back. He seemed to have felt bad about getting it wet from his clothes, but Bella wasn't concerned about it. She didn't want him to be either. It all boiled down to the fact that she was taking steps to make him feel as comfortable as she could. Maybe it was her way of feeling better about forcing him into this trap she'd unintentionally created for him.
It didn't take long for Jasper to change and when he returned, Bella was seated on her bed. Though an awkward moment had been avoided before, it was definitely back for potential now. What was she supposed to do? Just… go back to sleep? Should she stay awake and talk with him? Should she sleep in Charlie's room? The last idea didn't make much sense if he was meant to be watching her of course. But again, Bella was just trying to make him feel comfortable. She almost felt like she would be being rude if she just went right back to sleep. But… what to do in the meantime?
"Er…"
She chewed her lower lip and glanced at the floor as she debated this.
However, when she looked up at him standing there in Charlie's clothes, she couldn't help but to crack a grin. She'd often seen her father in similar things when he wasn't working and wasn't keen on wearing his usual jeans and flannel, but he didn't look like…. that in them. Whereas on her dad, they had been somewhat baggy and simple looking, on Jasper they looked like they were tailor made. The fabric fit him more snugly and it was apparent that he and Charlie were completely opposite in physique. Maybe it was the idea of never being able to look at those clothes on Charlie again the same way, maybe it was because the situation was so incredibly awkward, or maybe it was because she was tired, but for whatever reason, Bella started to laugh.
It had been such a long time since she'd actually laughed that it felt foreign to her. But once she started, it was difficult to stop. Covering her mouth with her hand, she giggled again before pulling herself together enough to offer the poor guy an explanation of some sort.
"I'm sorry," she chuckled. "It's just… the clothes." She broke off into another giggle. When it was clear that he was going to think she was a mental case, Bella forced herself to stop. "It's just funny seeing you wear Charlie's clothes," she said, biting back a smile.
Jasper didn't really know Chief Swan, but from wearing his clothes he had somewhat of an idea about him. He had become very familiar with his scent, for one. He also had come to realize that he had broader shoulders and a good few inches of height on Bella's father. He was glad he didn't have Emmett's physique, else he probably would have ripped the shirt when he put it on. He'd had to do a little careful positioning of the pants so that they came down to his feet rather than far above his ankles, but fortunately the shirt was long enough to allow him that bit of leverage. He had no idea that the clothing looked comical on him, though.
Returning to Bella's room could have potentially been awkward. Jasper wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to say. He figured he'd just go sit in the window while she slept, or read, or whatever it was she wanted to do. He didn't expect her to talk to him, or really even acknowledge him further. He wouldn't have minded if she did, but as far as he knew she was still afraid of him and her invitation into the house was just because she was genuinely a kind-hearted girl.
Her laughter wasn't something he expected to hear, especially not around him and especially not right now. It was a nice sound, Jasper noted. He wasn't sure he'd ever really heard Bella laugh before. If she had laughed in his presence, he probably had been too busy trying not to kill her to notice. Though, why she was laughing wasn't something he understood until she said it was because of the clothing. Jasper looked himself over briefly. He hadn't really looked in the mirror to see how the clothes looked, though judging from how he'd had to sort of fix them to fit, he could imagine. But, what was he supposed to say to that? He probably would've blushed if he could have.
"I.. I suppose I'm a bit taller," he said, and nudged the floor lightly with his toe. "It's better than being all wet, though."
It felt good to laugh. Bella felt bad that it was partially at Jasper's expense, but she'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be consumed with something other than grief for once. Laughter was a good substitute. She did feel though, that she owed him a real explanation of why she was laughing. "They don't look bad or anything," she assured him. And they didn't. They looked… Well, Jasper could have walked off from a photo shoot and Bella wouldn't be able to tell the difference. She could bet that clothing companies – even if they were just trying to sell old faded t-shirts like the one of Charlie's she'd given him – would have paid big money to have someone who looked like Jasper modeling them in big ad campaigns. But she couldn't exactly explain all of that to him unless she wanted him to think of her as some sort of freak. Which she knew he already did, surely.
"I didn't mean to offend you," she said sincerely. That was the last thing she wanted to do. "I'm sorry if I did."
She glanced at the floor for a moment before back up at him. It was unfair that as soon as that moment of light-heartedness disappeared, another one of awkwardness took its place all too quickly.
"I guess… I should get some sleep," she said finally.
She decided that it was the easiest way to make it the least uncomfortable for the both of them. If she would have done something else, like read or surfed the internet or something, he still would have been sitting there and not taking to her. That definitely would have made things more awkward in her opinion. But if she was sleeping, he wouldn't feel obligated to somehow engage himself with her further.
Standing again, she took one of the pillows from her bed and handed it to him. "Here," she said. "In case you get uncomfortable sitting," she said. Bella realized, of course, that she probably sounded like an idiot, but again, she attributed it to the fact that she was trying as hard as she could to make this as painless for Jasper as she could. "And there's books there," she pointed. "And the computer if you want to use it." Giving him options seemed like a good idea. "If you want the light on, that's fine too. If you need to see or something," she explained. "I don't mind." She stared at him for a moment longer before feeling nerves creep up her spine which caused her to look away and turn back to her bed.
Crawling underneath the covers, she situated herself and readjusted her remaining pillow before looking up at him again.
"Goodnight," she said. Turning on her side, she faced the window and tucked her hands beneath her cheek. "And Jasper?" she called without moving. "Thanks."
Jasper wanted to tell her that she hadn't offended him, but that he just hadn't been expecting to hear her laugh at anything. Though, by saying that, he might in turn offend her. He certainly didn't want to do that, since he thought she already didn't like him, and knew she was already afraid of him. If he had any idea of what she'd been thinking about his looks, he would have scoffed. She saw the camouflage. He knew he was beautiful to humans, but to other vampires he had a much more frightening appearance. It made his relationship with Alice even more striking to see; a tiny, waif-like ballerina paired with a tall, lanky demon marred with battle scars. It was impossible for Jasper to see himself as anything but that.
Before he could reassure her that he hadn't been offended by her words, however, Bella had gone into accommodating mode. He took the pillow as she handed it to him, though he wasn't sure what he should do with it. He held it as she talked about the computer, the light, books, and then he felt a wave of nerves coming from her suddenly wash over him. It was.. a lot all at once. He blinked a couple of times, then watched her crawl into bed. He found it unnecessary to tell her that he wouldn't need the light to see anything. He only intended to stay in there until the rain slowed anyway, though something in his gut told him that there would be no danger that night.
"Goodnight, Bella," he said quietly as he took a seat in the window, placing the pillow between his head and the wall.
Jasper fixed his gaze outside. The rain didn't let up at all, and so he stayed in her room the rest of the night. On occasion he would cast glances in her direction to make sure she was all right, but for the most part he kept his focus on watching for danger, even though he felt that he really was just as dangerous as any other predator that was lurking out there.
Author's Note: Another long one! Start to expect lots and lots of Jasper/Bella interaction from here on. This is just the beginning! The next chapter is where Bella tells Jasper exactly what happened in Volterra and how Alice and Edward died. It's a pretty emotional chapter but one that is well worth the read. Remember to follow and review! Cheers.
Lyrics: Within Temptation - Candles