Gabe woke with a start, realizing he hadn't meant to doze off. The sudden flinch caused all of his muscles to scream out at once and he sagged back into the chair with a groan. He hissed through his teeth, trying to adjust everything slowly so that it wouldn't ache quite so badly as he sat there. He then became very aware that he was being watched. His eyes shifted to the bed where Anya lay, her eyes were glazed over but they were definitely open.
"Hey." He offered weakly, trying to smile, he doubted it was a reassuring one. Her blank gaze seemed to penetrate into him, making him feel uncomfortably scrutinized. He finally had to look away under the pressure of that gaze, busied himself with getting a glass of water on the desk nearby.
"Where am I?" He voice was weak and her mouth moved slowly as though relaying the question from the deepest recesses of her mind.
"Vertville," He finally spoke up. "You're in Vertville, you're safe here." He added at the end to try and assure her.
A small smile spread across her face, her lips were dried and cracked and it was painful to see her stretch them, but he was somewhat glad that she had the energy to try. "No one is safe." In the dark corners of her eyes he could swear he saw a glimmer of the young girl he once knew, she was teasing him. The smirk faded from her face and she watched him seriously with those unnerving gray eyes. "You rescued me." Her tone was solemn again.
He gave a quick laugh. "You look like you rescued yourself."
She half grinned and looked down at her own hands, as though just now remembering what had happened. She didn't quite have the strength to lift her wrist more than an inch off the bed, and the other was splinted and strapped closed to her side to prevent it's movement. But the thick gauze was enough evidence to remind her of the vicious damage that was hidden beneath. "Never gave me a weapon before," She mused to herself, almost forgetting Gabe was there at all. "Or I was too strung out to notice." She shrugged and looked at him again, that brief glimpse of clarity was there again. "Still, thank you, Gabriel."
He finally nodded but didn't say anything, he offered her the glass of water he had prepared and helped her sip from it.
"It's nice to see you again." She said when she had had enough to drink. Her words caught him by surprise but he felt himself grin.
"I'm glad to see you, as well. I had thought the worst for so long…" He cringed as he looked into her eyes, suddenly wondering if her dying really would have been the worst. The things she had had to endure, the things she might still have to endure. He thought about the unborn child then, the weight of it was crushing.
"What? What is it?" His emotions were so obvious that an emaciated junkie could see he was bothered.
"I…I'm glad you're okay…" He briefly considered lying to her, letting the doctor break the news to her, he wouldn't have to be the one to tell her. To bring that nightmare back into her life so quickly after she had thought to escape it. He couldn't though, it wasn't fair to her to let a stranger have to break the news. And he couldn't look at her and feed her some bullshit without hating himself. "But the doctor had a look," He crushed his hands together nervously, his eyes darted from the floor to her face and back again. "He um-" He let out a sigh and tried to calm himself, determined to spit it out. "You're…pregnant." He said, the regret evident in his tone.
She stared at him a moment as if she hadn't heard the words, but she was very still. He watched her and worried he would have to repeat himself.
"Oh," She finally squeaked out, the same petrified look on her face.
Anya waited quietly while Heather finished redressing her bandages, Heather humming a tune to herself. She had been able to get a better look at the damage that was causing her throbbing pain. The flesh on her palms looked like a broken glass that had been put back together like a puzzle. She was relieved when the angry red flesh disappeared beneath the gauze again, it was frightening to see how much she had hurt herself.
She closed her eyes and remembered the elation that had rushed through her when she stabbed Mal. It was such a powerful feeling that it had surged past the drug muddled zone she had been drifting in when Gabriel had appeared. The thrill of causing Mal so much pain after he had caused so much of hers was a drug all its own. She hadn't anticipated living through it, the opportunity had presented itself so suddenly she had just reacted, already having made peace with the bullet to the brain she was likely to receive. She didn't know Mal would have been so distracted by the newcomer that he couldn't fight her off, hadn't been expecting to able to kill him. She didn't regret it, she sensed something that was close to pride swelling up in her, knowing she had killed that man, that monster. She shuddered a little, he was gone and she was free.
"You alright?" Heather asked cautiously, just now noticing her closed her eyes, her face was an expression of concern.
"Yes," She smiled, it was easier to communicate now, she was on fewer sedatives than when she had first woken, and slightly less jet. "Thank you for changing the bandages for me."
"Oh don't be silly," Heather shushed her with a wave of her hand. "It was no trouble." Heather had an easy smile and she found herself liking the woman. "Musta found yourself in some kinda trouble out there. Never seen Gabe act so crazy in all my life. So, are you a wanderer like him?" She asked nonchalantly as she finished off the gauze and secured the ends tightly. Anya tried to hold back the grin as she watched how carefully Heather tried to not look interested. Gabriel had always been the closed mouth sort, she doubted he had said anything. She self consciously pressed her free hand against her stomach, remembering what he had last said to her.
"No," She started, she didn't think she really wanted to talk about it, but she didn't want to be rude to Heather either, especially after how kindly she had treated her. Just some banged up junkie from the wastes and Heather hadn't anything but kind words and a sweet smile to offer. She tried to think of how she could put it delicately. "I was mixed up with some slavers."
Heather's face darkened a little then, she nodded with understanding. "Same thing with my sister, some years back now. It's just rotten what those men can get away with out in the wastes. You're lucky to be here." She reassured Anya with a squeeze on her shoulder.
"I was lucky Gabriel found me." Anya said, feeling the truth of it hit her like a weight.
"Well ain't that funny." Heather smirked with the corner of her mouth. "I never knew that was his name." She started to pick up the spare rags from the bed and gather them into her basket. "He's a bit closed off some times, or I guess just with some people." The tone she gave was meant to make light, but her eyes suggested that she was hurt.
"Oh, I doubt that's it. We just grew up in the same place." She wanted to protect Heather's feelings.
"Oh neat!" She seemed extra interested now. "Gabe never says anything about his home. I bet you guys have all sorts of catching up to do. It'll do you both some good to reminisce about happier times, I'm just sure of it-" Her grin slowly dropped when she turned and saw Anya's eyes had sprung full of tears, half a sob escaped her through when she saw Heather had caught her. "Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry Anya! I've got such a stupid mouth!" Heather's hands flew to her face as though she could stop the words that had already escaped. Anya tried to open her mouth to explain but she couldn't control herself and the sob she had been holding in her chest burst out and she dissolved into tears.
Heather stooped down next to her on the bed and pulled her into an embrace. "It's okay, it's okay." She stroked the back of Anya's head and she was caught off guard at this small kindness. She let herself be held and the tears fell unrestrained, unloading the burden that was clutched tight in her chest. The sobs finally begain to subside and she was surprised to feel relief after it all. She pulled back to try and wipe away some of the tears and snot that was trailing messily down her face.
"Here, let me get that." Heather grabbed some of the loose bandages from her basket and wiped at her face. "Don't want to soggy up those new bandages, otherwise that blabbermouth nurse will have to come back and fix them." She gave a hesitant grin at Anya's puffy face and Anya gave a shakey laugh despite herself.
"I'm sorry I fell apart, I didn't know…" She sniffed, taking a moment to be sure she had herself under control again. "I guess I didn't know I could still be so sad about it, after everything else." She shrugged with a soggy grin but kept her composure. "I'm sorry Heather-"
"What's wrong?" Gabriel had appeared in the door frame and his face was filled with alarm. Heather flushed crimson as she turned and found him standing there.
"I'm sorry Gabe, I upset her-"
"No, it's alright," Anya tried her best not to cringe in pain when she reached out to touch Heather's arm. "Really, I'm fine." She insisted. "I'm just a little unhinged after everything." She gave a weak smile and Gabriel seemed to understand that, his posture relaxed.
"I'll just take this down to the trash." Heather said awkwardly, gathering up her clutter and walking quickly to the door. Gabe spared her a quick glance and stepped out of the way.
"Thank you, Heather. It really was nice talking to you." Anya called after her, Heather turned and gave her a small smile of appreciation and ducked out of the room. Gabe watched her go from the corner of his eye and then returned his focus to Anya.
"Is it alright if I come in?"
"Don't be silly, if course it is. There's still no reason I can't be sleeping downstairs instead of you."
"If you slept on the floor, you'd break." He said bluntly as he walked into the room. He settled in the chair next to the bed and eyed her puffy face again. "Are you sure you're okay?"
She nodded, swallowing back the lump in her throat. "She just mentioned home," She gave a quick bitter smile. "It was so long ago, I didn't realize I still needed to mourn."
He nodded but the blank look on his face suggested he had shut out thoughts of Cale long ago. "I'm sorry I never looked for you." He said in a hollow tone. "I thought you were dead."
"There's nothing to apologize for," She gave half a laugh, it surprised her how easily she could slide back into having a conversation. "Of the two of us, you're the one that should be dead." Gabe smirked a little bitterly and rubbed at his shoulder where the scar still remained.
"Still," He shrugged and left it at that. He pulled a fresh inhaler from his pocket and placed it on the table for her. He was surprised to see her shake her head violently.
"No, I'm off it. It's kept me dumbed down long enough."
"Anya," He sighed, they had already had the argument yesterday, along with recovering she was gaining stubbornness. "It's keeping you stable right now, I don't think it's a good idea to see if you can handle the withdrawal." He insisted.
She knew what it felt like, could already feel the craving clawing at her belly as the last dose faded from her system. She wanted it, needed it so badly. First the shakes would start, the sweats, the fever, and a whole mess of more unpleasant symptoms. She had experienced it a few times when Mal's gang had run low on funds, and jet. She pressed her lips together, determined to ignore that inner voice.
"I…I just can't." She pushed the inhaler away. "At least let me lower the doses, I can't be out of control like I was. Please Gabriel." She pleaded with him, her hand trembled as it released the inhaler, her own body trying to betray her decision.
He took the inhaler back with a pained smile on his face. "Nobody calls me that." He twirled the inhaler in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Heather said-" He interrupted her with a wave.
"No, I don't mind. I just never told anyone here." He shrugged. "Thought if I shortened it, maybe it would help me forget, help get rid of the dreams. It never did though, dunno why I bothered."
"Dreams?" She peered at him curiously and suddenly his eyes dropped to focus intently on the inhaler in his hand.
"Yeah, of home." He said quickly, flipping the inhaler around in his hands as though it fascinated him. "I heard there's doctors out there who can cure addiction, wipe it clean out of your system. Kosh is more of a dabbler in medicine, but I'll ask him about reducing the dose." He did level her with a gaze then. "But you'll listen to what he says about doses, cold turkey kills folks who are healthier than you." She nodded reluctantly, worried that her agreement had more to do with her desire to get it into her system again than concern about her own health. "I'll see who Fisher knows and maybe when you get a bit stronger we can get that taken care of."
"That'd be great." She let out a shaky breath. She knew it was just a matter of time before she would be seduced by the drug, looking for another quick high and escape from reality. She shivered just from thinking of the rush she got when she sucked it into her lungs. "Thanks, Gabe."
He grinned. "Maybe you should call me Gabriel, for old times sake. And I can call you Anastasia."
She shook her head with a sad grin and chuckled. "No, please no, Phil only called me that when I was in trouble."
"Then I guess you better stay out of trouble." He smirked at her.
He woke abruptly in the night, her screaming voice just fading from his ears. He leapt out of bed and launched himself up the stairs two at a time till he reached his door. He pushed the door wide with a shaky hand and the light from the hall spilled in, falling across the bed. He ducked his head in just far enough so that he could see her sleeping form. She was on her side with her back to him, the splinted arm resting in her hip. He watched until he was sure he could see her chest rising with each breath. She was fine, completely fine. He sagged as he let out a breath, feeling suddenly very stupid. He closed the door carefully, now mindful of each noise he made, worried he might get caught. As he returned it to the original position he turned to find the stairs and instead found himself face to face with Heather.
He stared at her mutely, in her arms a bottle of water and a loaf of bread in a basket. It would be just like Heather to worry about someone waking in the night starving and have no idea where to get some food. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't manage to get any words out. He felt his face flush and was grateful for the dim hall lighting that hopefully disguised the worse of his embarrassment.
"She's the girl from the dream, isn't she?" Heather finally spoke hesitantly. His look of confusion made her clarify. "Heard ya again. I was already up and about in the kitchens, you ran right past."
"Yes, she is." He scratched the back of his neck, trying his best not to make eye contact with Heather if he could avoid it. He was at least grateful that he didn't have to come up with an excuse to explain why he was creeping up to the room to spy on her, nothing he could come up with had sounded good.
She smiled sympathetically. "She's okay, Gabe. She really is. She might not look it, but she's strong. I heard Kosh just this morning saying how she was coming along much better than he expected. You saved her. She ain't dead."
"Yeah," He squeezed the back of his neck anxiously. "Old habits." He said with a grimace. "Thanks for being such a help, Heather." He motioned to the basket in her arms.
"Sure thing," She flashed her easy grin. "Now for goodness sake, go dream about something nice for once. You did real good bringing her here. She's going to be alright." And she shooed him back down the stairs while she went to put the food in the room.
He tried to take her words to heart, but it was going to be difficult to change. For so long he had been blaming himself for her death, he had been so brash fighting like that, a young fool. It was still a bit of a shock to realize that she wasn't dead, she was very much alive. She was sleeping directly above him, a little worse for wear, but so was everyone who survived in the wastes.
He didn't think the dreams would go away though, now he felt like he had to protect her, to keep her safe from whatever other horrors the wastes might have to offer. He thought that was only natural, wanting to keep an old friend safe. It probably wasn't expected that he would leap from bed to check up on her every time he had a nightmare though. He would have to work on that second part.