Hey guys, just me, updating... ya. Lol. Um... I wrote this while on the plane returning from Barbados, but felt sort of lazy to post it up. Thanks you guys for all the reviews ^.^ I hope you like & review this chapter too :P

Chapter name is from Torn by One Direction

Nothing's Fine, I'm Torn

Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you – Unknown

'Go out there, Kendall. It's your job,' Logan said, pushing the blond towards the door.

Kendall groaned. 'What about all those emails to our sponsors?'

Logan folded his arms. 'I'll do it, Kendall. Stop making excuses. Now go and do your job.'

Kendall sighed and walked to the door, before stopping and turning. 'Logan?' He said softly.

Logan sat in the office chair, looking at him. 'Yes, Kendall?'

'What if- Do you think James remembers me?'

Logan bit his lip. 'I don't know, Kendall. I honestly don't know.'

Kendall's shoulders visibly slumped as he exited through the door. Logan's heart ached to help him, but he just didn't know how. The boy was torn in two, one side just wanting to be accepted, the other, battling against all odds in this cruel world.

He put on the computer, opening Kendall's emails. Opening them, he was shocked at what he saw.

KENDALL KNIGHT – [kendy_k] - 440 unread messages.

And 404 of those messages were from Katie Knight.

Logan felt a lump in his throat. Katie had been emailing Kendall almost every week since he left the Knight's residence. But why hadn't Kendall told him?

Suddenly, he was transported back to the time, that one, single time that Kendall didn't ask him for help. And when Logan had found out, he'd been devastated.

...

Logan walked silently through the Knight house, looking for Kendall. He didn't dare yell, even if no one was home, besides Kendall.

A light was on in the living room, and he pushed the door open quietly, surprised to see his own sister there, Leila, there, looking lost.

He walked up to her. 'Hey, Leila. Why are you here? Where's Kendall?'

It was only then he saw the kitchen knife in her hand, and she was looked up at him slowly, her brown eyes wide.

'Leila? What're you doing with that knife?' Logan said softly, stooping down to meet the nine year old's gaze.

She swallowed. 'I-I came to look for Katie and I-I saw Kendall doing this with a r-razor, and I-I thought I'd try it but I'm scared.'

Logan rocked back on his heels. 'What?!' He whispered harshly.

She looked away.

'Give me that, Leila. Kendall just made a mistake, okay?' Logan said, reaching for the knife, and when she gave it to him she bit her lip.

'I'm sorry, Logie! I thought it was cool, that's why I wanted to try it.'

Logan nodded. Leila considered Kendall her idol and always thought whatever he did was cool. 'It's okay Leila-Bear. How about I give you ten bucks and you'll go and buy an ice cream, okay?'

A smile broke across her face as she took the money from him, and danced out the room.

Logan looked down at the knife in his hand. He couldn't believe it. He had to see it for himself.

He placed it down on the kitchen counter and walked up to Kendall's room. It couldn't be true...could it?

He pushed Kendall's door open, and entered. The blonde was sitting on his bed staring off into space.

'Kendall?' Logan said softly, walking up to the blond. He turned and smiled at Logan, throwing the brunet off-balance.

'Hey Logie,' the blond said, patting the empty space next to him and gesturing for him to sit.

But Logan couldn't sit without knowing the truth. But how?

He cleared his throat. 'I, uh, ran into Leila out there. She came to play with Katie. Where's Katie?'

A frown flitted across Kendall's face, and Logan knew the answer to the question.

'She's with-'

Logan patted Kendall on the back. 'I know, Kendall. I know.'

How was he going to ask Kendall about it? It couldn't be true. Kendall wouldn't keep that kind of thing from him.

Logan wasn't even sure himself.

'Kendall, ah, Leila said she, um, saw you with a- a razor,' Logan said softly, and fear rose in Kendall's face.

'Kendall,' Logan whispered. 'Is it true?'

Kendall nodded, a tear escaping down his face. 'Oh Kendy,' Logan whimpered, holding the boy close.

Kendall pushed him away. 'How could you still like me, Logan? I'm a freaking twelve year old who- who-'

'It's alright, Kendall.' Logan said, rubbing the boy's back. 'It's okay. Just stop, please. I'm begging you.'

'I can't Logie,' Kendall said, raising his tear-stained face to Logan's. 'I need to do it. Or- or else I might go crazy.'

Logan frowned. He'd do anything for Kendall, right? 'Then take it out on me.'

'What?' Kendall looked up, genuinely confused.

'I mean it. Whenever you feel like- like cutting, take it out on me instead. Do whatever you want with me. Just don't do that to yourself again.'

Kendall shook his head violently. 'I can't do that. I won't.'

Logan slapped him on his face, and the blond stared at him in astonishment. 'Yes you can. And if I ever see you doing that again, I'm never, ever talking to you again. Understand?'

Kendall nodded slowly, before lurching forward to meet Logan's lips-

...

Logan shook his head out of his daydream. That was the only time Kendall didn't tell him about his situation. Now, why didn't he tell him about Katie's emails?

It was clear that he'd read none, but as much as Logan wanted to read them, he refrained. When Kendall wanted to read them, he'd read them.

But it only made Logan wonder: What else didn't Kendall tell him about?

...

Kendall clapped his hands together gleefully as he re-entered the theatre, bringing everyone's attention to him.

'Ok, so first we're starting off with the dances.' He walked over to Camille and pulled took her clipboard, ignoring her cry of protest.

'The easiest dance first, and that would be...' he scanned the list, before finding what he was looking for. 'the dance for 'Can I Have This Dance'.' He looked up. 'Everyone choose a partner, and Troy, Chad and Ryan, you know who you're dancing with. We're doing ballroom dancing.'

The blond guy who was supposed to be Ryan looked confused. 'I'm dancing with Sharpay? She's my sister. Isn't that like... incest?'

Kendall scoffed. 'Listen-' He looked down at the clipboard. '-Jett. I don't care what you think. All I know is that I want you to dance with her, and you will fucking dance with her unless you want me to kick you out on your ass.'

He glared at Jett, who backed away, diverting his eyes.

He heard another voice speak up. 'Um, Kendall, I-'

Kendall threw his hands up in the air in frustration. 'What do you want now?'

He turned to see it was James, who was looking awkward. 'I- I don't know how to ballroom dance,' he said, clearing his throat and looking scared, as if Kendall might bitch him out.

Kendall's mouth dropped open. 'You don't know how to ballroom dance?!' He said disbelievingly.

James shook his head, his eyes cast on the floor. If it were someone else, Kendall would've thrown a tantrum, but he didn't.

'Camille, start with the others. I have to teach someone how to dance,' he said leading James to the back of the stage in a secluded spot.

He turned. 'Are you sure you don't know how to dance ballroom? How did you survive your prom?'

He immediately regretted asking that question, as James' eyes turned dark and hooded. 'Let's just say some people don't have as much rights and privileges as others, okay?' He snapped, and Kendall frowned. It had been such a long time since he was spoken to like that.

'Come,' he said, gesturing to James, and the boy approached him hesitantly. 'Put your hand around my waist,' he commanded as James placed his right hand around Kendall's thin waist.

'No,' Kendall corrected him, taking the brunet's left hand and guiding it around his body, before resting his own hand on James' shoulder. 'Give me your other hand,' he said, and as James did so, Kendall flushed. 'And- ah, pull me closer.'

James pulled him until there was not a millimetre left between them. Kendall stared into James eyes, lost in the beauty of them, before he remembered that he had a job to do.

He cleared his throat. 'Follow my lead,' he said, and Kendall began to move his feet, James following him.

Something was burning inside of Kendall. James was touching him, holding him, and he wanted the brunet so bad, but there was something he needed to know first.

Continuing dancing, he swallowed quickly. 'James-,' he started, making up a mind to ask him now, or else he would never do it. 'Do you- do you remember me?'

James glanced down at him in confusion. 'I don't know what you're talking abo-' Recognition crept on his face. 'You're that- that boy,' he said, amazement etched in his face. 'The boy I saw on the steps!'

Kendall blew out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. 'Yeah,' Kendall said softly, and in his mind he could see the younger James, smiling up at him, holding his hand. He could see him kissing his cheek before he ran off. His breath caught.

He was torn, he didn't know what to do. He wanted James so bad, but at the same time he wanted to run away, before he did something he'd regret.

He was caught up in James' eyes again, and before he knew it he was moving in on James. He couldn't help it. 'You saved my life that day, James. Thank you,' was the last words he whispered, before his lips met James'.