Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit
...
Santana and Brittany become permanent fixtures.
Jesse doesn't seem to mind; much to Santana's ire he and Brittany get along, as well as Quinn's seen him get along with just about anybody. Quinn's fine with Brittany being around too; it's Santana that's her problem. Even when Britt is browsing through shelves of books, Santana sits exactly where she can easily observe Quinn. That's right. Observe. Whenever Quinn and Jesse would talk, Quinn would glance over and the Latina would give her a wide smile, bearing all her perfectly white teeth and watching their every move.
It's unnerving to say the least.
Quinn can't even do anything about it. It's not like she can kick someone out for just sitting and being quiet. And the bitch knows it.
So when Ellen asks if she and Jesse would be willing to pick up a shipment of books at the mall, she jumps at the opportunity. It's the mall at Lima, so it hardly counts as anything extraordinary but it's nice to go out and still get paid to do it.
"Thank god," she sighs, leaning into the seat of his Range Rover. "I cannot take another second of Big Brother."
"I find it quite flattering really."
"Oh that's right; I forgot how close you and Brittany suddenly are."
He barks out a laugh. "Close? She just happens to be incredibly annoying in an entertaining sort of way – that's more than I can say for the rest of the New Directions," he adds with a sideways glance. "Also because she always needs help, not just with books I'll admit, Ellen commends my efforts to improve my already outstanding interpersonal skills."
"You're taking advantage of Britt to make yourself look better?" she asks with a raised eyebrow. He ignores her question and simply focuses on the road in front. Yes Brittany isn't the brightest but that doesn't mean Jesse should benefit from it; Quinn makes a mental note to spend more time with the blonde from now on. "What about Santana?" she asks, because really she's curious to hear what he actually has to say about the members of the glee club.
"Raging bitch. But there is something to be admired about her lack of concern for just about everybody. Ironically, that's why her performances lack any kind of real depth."
He's so nonchalant about everything he says and Quinn wonders if he ever thinks of her in that sort of way too. She's willing to bet he does; he's just a good enough actor to hide it. She leans her head against the window, thinking about the last time she was in this car and how different things were then. For one thing, Jesse's arrogance had been beyond irritating, now it's…less so. Finn and slapping and prom all seem so far away. She hasn't seen Finn since school ended and has no intention of doing so either. She knows he's still with Rachel and she's going to make it a point to applaud him for sticking with his flavour of the month for more than a month. It'll get him to sweat, she can picture his awkward fumbling, and she'll enjoy it.
"So I guess you'll be starting school soon," says Jesse, bringing Quinn out of her delightfully vindictive thoughts.
"Yeah, senior year with all the bells and whistles," she sighs.
"And then you'll quit your job?"
"My AP classes aren't going to take themselves," she adds with a sly grin, purposely looking at him.
Jesse picks up on her dig instantly and gives her what she thinks is a mild glare before looking straight ahead again. "Good. It's not like the token Asians would do much for your grades anyway."
There he goes again, insulting people who she should call her friends and should defend but doesn't. It may have something to do with the fact that she's a bitch and Jesse's lack of a filter is like crack. There aren't a lot of people she can enjoy this level of freedom of speech with – Santana is the only one who even comes close and they don't even hang out that much anymore. Despite the library stalking thing, ever since New York, there's a part of Quinn that wants to change that.
"You're a very smart girl Quinn," he says.
"I know." And she does, in fact she's known ever since middle school when she was taking pre-algebra and everyone else, including Rachel, was still struggling with fractions.
"It's not something that's immediately obvious and I get the feeling that that's the way you like it."
"Nobody likes nerds remember? Add the fact that I'm already a glee loser and you can see why I wouldn't want that kind of stuff to get out."
There's a slight pause as Jesse makes a turn. "It must have meant a lot to get that job then," he muses.
"You're right, and I did it fair and square – without lying."
"If you're implying what I think you are, you should know you're wrong."
"Sure, because you really do have 'extensive experience' with libraries."
"Fine. I can be charming when it's called for," he says with a smirk. "But I do consider myself opinionated enough to be able to offer appropriate advice on what should and shouldn't be read. I figured I'd learn the rest on the job, like memorising a script. You get the part before you know all your lines." Quinn raises both her eyebrows in response – he can't really believe that that's how the world works can he? He probably does. "I don't know what I'm going to do when you're gone Quinn," he says melodramatically and the curve of his lips lets her know he's not being entirely serious, "it's boring enough now as it is. I mean when you said you were working at a library, I thought I could join and provide suitable entertainment."
"Entertainment?"
"I was under the impression that at least one piano would be present. All the other libraries I've been to have had one."
"Right. I'm sure that's exactly what people who are trying to doing some quiet reading want to hear – you singing."
"I'm glad you agree; my vocals would add a certain vigour and liveliness to the atmosphere," he says with a bright smile. "I think I should ask Ellen though, you seem to have fallen out of her favour." Quinn's not really sure what to say to that (maybe a small part of her wishes she had his kind of unwavering self belief) so even though he's patronising her, she doesn't make a snide comment about how he's delusional.
"What about New York?" she asks.
"It's there. It's just a little further than I initially anticipated. If it were up to me, I'd be on the first plane out of here."
It stings a little when he says that – she's not entirely sure why. "Can't you ask your parents?" She figures with his Range Rover and his (dubious) choices in clothes, he isn't exactly hard pressed for cash.
"After the UCLA debacle, I seem to have lost considerable favour with both of them. Take into account the fact that my sister is currently making progress with her therapist about her eating disorder and well, let's just say I'm no longer the favourite. Mom and Dad don't just give things to those who come in second."
"Been there too," she says drily, "Growing up it was always 'Frannie's been made class president,' 'Frannie's prom queen' and 'oh sorry Quinnie, I didn't realise you weren't a size zero anymore, I guess Frannie gets two new dresses then,'" she says, using a higher pitched, mocking voice. "You'd think things would have changed but now it's just 'Frannie's marrying Michael – he's a real Christian' and soon I bet it'll be 'Frannie has three children – it's just like a Fabray to outdo the national average.'"
He laughs, so quietly that it comes out as more of a sharp exhale, but she doesn't mind it so much.
It's when they're just coming out of the bookstore that she sees Mercedes. If there's any one person who she'd least like to see, apart from Rachel, it's Mercedes. She knows the diva loves a good story and seeing her with Jesse, even though it's strictly work related, will practically make the girl salivate. The rest of the glee club would know everything and more before Quinn even made it home.
Then she sees Sam – they're walking together. And holding hands. Quinn does a double take and before Jesse can say anything, she's walking back to the car full speed, the box of books trembling in her hands. They're here in his Range Rover so she actually has to wait for him to catch up and unlock the car before she can get it, but as soon as she's done with dumping the books in his trunk, she sits in the front seat, practically in shock.
"Seems like you've missed out on another round of musical chairs Quinn," he says as he sits down and when she turns to snap at him for being so blasé, she notices he's watching her intently with that same surveying look.
"My loss right?" she mumbles before she folds her arms and looks away. She can't believe it. Sam went from her to Santana to Mercedes? She knows she has no right to be upset that Sam's moved on after she effectively forced him to end their relationship but that doesn't mean she's ready to embrace this new development. Sam is the only boy she's ever dated who always kept his eyes on her and no one else. To see him holding hands with a – no she's not going to stoop low and make a jab about Mercedes' weight, that's something Santana would do. (She'd heard her friend teasing Puck about dying when 'the manatee fucking rolled over' often enough.)
It's worse than seeing him with Santana too; at least then Quinn had known that the Latina found Sam infuriating ('those lips are only for show') and was with him just because he was the new guy with the ridiculous body and because she had been shoved to the bottom of the pyramid. But this? It makes Quinn feel a little ill. Not as much as Finn and Rachel do, but it's an unpleasant feeling nonetheless. It's not because she's in love with Sam, and she kind of almost wishes it was because it wouldn't be half as bad, but no it's because she can't help but feel like Mercedes has taken something. Something that was hers.
"Come on Quinnie, don't be like that," Jesse drawls.
"Please don't call me that," she says, looking away but keeping her voice calm.
"I guess Princess Grace will have to suffice." He lets out a sigh and she just knows he's mocking the fact that she's upset. "So he's with the wailer, why do you give a fuck? It's a downgrade anyway." She does look at him when he says that and he elaborates. "Rachel filled me in extensively on the entire goings on of the New Directions. I guess some of it actually stuck."
"So you know about what I did to him then, repeatedly." Jesse gives her a small nod and well, Rachel's just earned herself a week's worth of evil glares. "Sometimes I think I'm a pathological liar," she muses.
"It comes easily to you right? And it's kind of thrilling?"
"It's easy but I don't make it a habit to enjoy lying to my boyfriends." The words leave her mouth before she can process what she's saying and she sees how he turns away – she knows he's biting back some kind of comeback. "Just say it Jesse, I know you want to," she says unenthusiastically, rolling her eyes.
"I don't want to say anything." He keeps a straight face but his eyes totally give him away. "I just think that in the future you should choose your words a little more carefully. You're not always going to be in the company of someone as…considerate as I am." She smacks him in the shoulder and then smiles despite herself, dropping her head against the headrest.
"Mercedes is my friend," she says in monotone. "There were times when she was my only friend. Last year, after Puck's mom found out that I snapped at his sister for telling me I couldn't keep a leftover BLT in the fridge, I had nowhere to go – Mercedes let me stay with her when everyone else thought I was just the pregnant girl getting what she deserved. Seeing her with Sam, seeing her happy with Sam, really pisses me off. Pretty sure that makes me a terrible person."
"It probably does," Jesse replies with a slight shrug of the shoulders. "Then again I'm not exactly the nicest person in the world so I can't be sure."
"Can I ask you something?" She continues without waiting for him to answer. "Why'd you egg Rachel?" He raises both eyebrows and looks at her again. She's sure it's something he doesn't want to talk about but seeing how he pretty much knows everything about her already, she figures it's fair game. "And like you said, I'm a good liar too."
He rolls eyes and takes in a deep breath; she sees his Adam's apple move as he swallows. "I had to."
"You didn't have to –"
"No Quinn. I had to. I didn't go to McKinley to fuck with the New Directions; collectively we were far better than you could ever be. Shelby wanted to get to know her daughter and she trusted me to help her. I had heard Rachel sing before too, we had tapes of Sectionals and she was the most interesting girl I had seen in years. When Shelby asked I couldn't refuse." His face is set and his eyes are narrowed; Quinn has never seen him this way before. "It was only supposed to be an opportunity to perfect my acting skills, and then I'd be off to Los Angeles, leaving everyone behind to play back up as I took centre stage. Of course when I went back to Carmel my teammates weren't as warm and welcoming as I'd hoped. So to prove I was truly one of them we decided to TP your choir room and then show you what real talent sounded like with 'Another One Bites the Dust'"
"Was Rachel just back up too?"
"I had hoped she'd be sick that day, it would have been far easier on my conscience with an understudy," he adds with a sardonic smile. "VA has always been one unit; unlike your New Directions, we focused on only one thing. Not feelings, not acceptance, not each other. Just winning. They were turning on me and I was the lead – if it continued, we wouldn't win. And I couldn't lose. Not Nationals. Not during senior year. So I did it for Vocal Adrenaline, my Vocal Adrenaline. It was horrible and I do regret it but…the end justified the means."
"I respect that." Her voice comes out quiet and it must surprise him because he looks at her and there's the smallest hint of disbelief on his face. "I know what it's like. Not with glee club, obviously, but when I was a Cheerio, I would have done anything to win. To be smiling on top of that pyramid as everyone else just bore the weight." She also kind of respects how he screwed with everyone and manipulated Rachel's feelings – she doesn't say this out loud. "God, I hate Lima, it ruins everything."
"Forget Lima, I hate the whole of fucking Ohio."
"I think I'm starting to understand why psychopaths go into schools and just shoot everybody. Maybe we're psychopaths Jesse."
"I doubt it," he says, squinting a little. "You maybe. I don't have excessively violent thoughts."
"But Jesse," she says, dramatically holding her hand over her chest because she knows it'll have more of an effect, "you killed all those baby chickens – cruelty to small animals is the first sign of being a maniac." He looks at her and then looks away and Quinn's holding back a smile because yeah, she's had a lot of practise with patronising people (Finn) too. "Thank you for telling me that though," she adds softly, because she doesn't want him to think that she didn't appreciate his honesty and he just nods. "They have cafés in Akron right?"
Jesse lets out a short laugh as he stops the car in the parking lot of the library. "Yes I believe so. And they're marginally better than the ones in Lima too. Why?"
She bites her lip a little, more out of habit than anything else, and pointedly looks into his blue eyes. "For future reference, in case I'm ever in town."
...
Author's Note: Hey they're actually getting along now! (For the most part.) This turned out a lot longer than I originally intended but thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!