DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pretty Little Liars and all its characters. All characters in this fanfic except for maybe two belong to PLL. A few events in this fanfic were borrowed from the storyline of the PLL TV series. Since I never read the books, I have no clear idea about 'A' and their motives for torturing the Liars. That said the motives of the 'A'-team in this fanfic are entirely of my creation.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Below is a lengthy version of what this fanfic is all about since the summary only allows 300+ characters.
The violent and sudden tragic death of Paige McCullers' parents more than two years ago resulted in the deterioration of the relationship between Rosewood's once "IT" couple, Emily and Paige. Devastated by her sudden loss, Paige vows to find out the truth about everything that happened that fateful night and decides to leave Rosewood and Emily behind to search for answers. Emily, guilt-ridden for her indirect role in Paige's loss, struggles to come to terms with Paige's decision to end things between them for now and desperately tries to move on in the two years they were apart. However, Paige's unexpected return to Rosewood dredges up old wounds and feelings and the once prominent "IT" couple is forced to confront the issues between them once and for all. Emily's hope for a reconciliation between them is shattered when she realizes that Paige didn't come back for her and that she didn't come back alone. Noticing the change in Paige, Emily comes to understand that Paige has let her darkness and rage inside consume her and decides to do everything she can to prevent Paige from doing something she wouldn't be able to come back from. Changed by the events since her parents' death, Paige refuses to let Emily in and succumbs to the darkness and rage she has been keeping at bay, vowing to do whatever it takes to avenge her parents.
~This is my first ever fanfic so please be nice with your comments/criticisms. To those who took the time to read the first chapter and decided to follow it, a thousand thanks! Well then on to the next chapter!~
Chapter 2: The Ripple Effect
"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end." – Scott Adams
It was a little after 5 in the afternoon when Emily finally arrived at Spencer's house. Hanna was waiting for her by the door, her face full of worry and silent apology. As she approached her, Hanna opened her mouth to speak. "Em, I'm so, so sorry. I totally spaced out when she called me. I didn't hear the part about her coming back with Dani. I just got so excited that she's finally coming back and that you guys would finally see each other and that finally I would see you genuinely smile again."
Emily shook her head. "Han, as much as I would love to blame you, I knew something was off. I just wanted to see her so bad, I didn't care. There was a reason she called you and not me." She said dejectedly.
"What's that?" Hanna asked while stepping aside to let Emily in.
Emily walked past her and saw Aria and Spencer in the living room. She was grateful for their concern but she just felt so tired suddenly. Hanna sat beside her and hugged her briefly. Emily fought the urge to breakdown. She didn't want to worry them. She didn't want to put them through that for a third time. "She didn't come back for me." She whispered sadly against Hanna's shoulder. It was barely audible but they heard her.
"What do you mean she didn't come back for you? I thought she said when she came back it would be for you. What's going on?" Aria asked, confused.
Emily disentangled herself from Hanna and looked at them. "That's what I thought too. But she never looked at me since the moment we saw each other until I dropped them off at the motel. I mean she looked at me but it felt like she's not really looking at me. Like she was just looking at me because it's common courtesy." Emily sighed then looked down at her hands on her lap, willing herself not to cry.
"Wait they're staying at a motel? They could have just stayed with me or at your place Em." Spencer asked, confused.
"I tried to tell them they could stay at either of our place but Paige said a motel would be fine. I didn't want to push the issue. Something's different about Paige. Like something happened out there and it made her angrier. I could feel it. Like she was trying to control it, keep it in check but she was so full of rage. She didn't come back for me. I'm sure of it." Emily said quietly.
"Then why is she back? And why is Dani with her?" Hanna asked.
Emily sighed before replying. "That's the other thing. Something's different with them too. I know Dani's been in love with Paige since forever and Paige never reciprocated those feelings. She's always made it clear that I was the only one for her. But today…" Emily swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. "It seemed like Paige didn't want Dani to get the wrong idea. Like she was making it clear that I was the last thing on her mind. I don't think Dani knows it but I think Paige is…" Emily cannot bring herself to finish that sentence. Saying it out loud would make it real. She felt tears forming in her eyes and desperately tried to hold them back. "She's not the Paige I knew."
"Emily you don't know that for sure. I mean, two years is a long time. You even moved on, albeit briefly, but you met someone." Aria said softly.
"Yeah but it was to someone I didn't have a history with. I dated someone who wasn't in love with me for years. Dani and Paige… it's entirely different. I don't even know how long they've been spending time together. Or why Dani is even with her." Emily said, dejected.
"Exactly. You don't know anything. So before you start worrying yourself to death you should find out what's going on. Ask Paige to come over for dinner. Just the two of you. Give yourselves the chance to catch up. Because even if it may seem like Paige has changed what you two had is not something people get over easily. Trust me. She still cares." Hanna said while touching Emily's arm briefly.
Aria and Spencer smiled in encouragement.
"You guys think I should ask her to come over for dinner? Like tonight?" Emily nervously asked.
"Yeah. Carpe diem. We'll ask Dani to have dinner with us so she doesn't have an excuse to say no to you." Aria offered.
Emily thought for a moment. She really wanted to talk to Paige alone. And she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if she left things with Paige the way they are. Finally she nodded. "Okay." She gave a small smile to her friends. "I'll invite her over for dinner."
Spencer held out the phone to Emily. "Good luck." She said.
Paige was almost finished unpacking her clothes when she heard the bathroom door open. Dani made a beeline for the bathroom the minute they checked in. Paige shook her head. Dani hated public transports. The fact that she was willing to endure an 8-hour bus ride to come to Rosewood with her made her appreciate Dani even more. She would've been lost without Dani's help. In the two years that they spent chasing every possible lead they could find, which almost always led to dead ends, Dani always served as Paige's voice of reason. She made sure Paige kept a cool head on her shoulder and went out of her way to make sure they covered their tracks well. The last thing they wanted was to alert the people responsible for her parents' death that they were looking into it. She did the right thing, coming to Dani for help. She knew she should have said something to Emily before leaving about her plan to ask for Dani's help. But back then she convinced herself that it was a price she was willing to pay if it meant getting to the bottom of things. She didn't want to say anything to Emily at that time but a small part of her always thought the chances of her ever returning to Rosewood were slim. So she didn't bother telling Emily about Dani. But if she had known everything would lead her back here, she would have told Emily before she sought out Dani. Paige couldn't forget the look on Emily's face when she saw her with Dani at the bus station. She knew that look because it wasn't too long ago that she wore the same look when she saw Emily and Tara together. Utter heartbrokenness.
She was torn. If she was honest with herself for once she would admit that. She has always loved Emily. The moment she laid eyes on her she knew Emily was the one. She never doubted that. Even if they were apart. And when she finally got Emily to love her back, she always thought nothing could keep them apart. That their love would be enough. Until that horrible accident. Neither of them fully understood it at that time but that moment changed everything between them. Slowly they started drifting apart. Neither of them wanted to admit it but they both knew something was wrong. There were days when they couldn't even look each other in the eye. Sometimes they spent time together out of routine and not because they actually wanted to see each other. Paige couldn't take it anymore. Even if they loved each other it was starting to feel like they were together out of necessity and not out of love. Not anymore. Paige could see that being around her was hurting Emily. But while she wished she could take that pain away, she knows she won't be able to unless she found a way to ease her own. One day, she finally gathered her courage to tell Emily what she had to do. Emily pleaded with Paige between sobs. Told Paige not to leave her. Asked Paige to take Emily with her. But she ignored her pleas. She made the decision to leave Rosewood before they hurt each other more than they already have. Before they started hating each other. However, not willing to give up on the idea that they are meant to be together, she made a promise to Emily that she would come back to her when the time was right. She wasn't expecting Emily to wait for her. But if the day comes that she came back, if Emily still wanted to be with her, then maybe they can start over. What she failed to consider back then was the possibility that when that day came she would be conflicted.
"Ugh, I still smell like tacos." Dani complained.
Paige looked at her and smiled faintly. "Would you stop whining? No one twisted your arm to sit beside that kid."
"This is why I hate public transports! People are so inconsiderate!" Dani continued to rant. "And now I'm starving." She made a face that Paige knew was one of annoyance.
"What are you in the mood for? There's a vendo machine right around the corner. My treat." Paige offered.
Dani glared at her mockingly. "You're hilarious. Way to treat a lady P. No wonder you never dated anyone after Emily. You suck at taking them to dinner!"
"Don't worry. One day I'll take you to a real restaurant and you'll get to wear a fancy dress so you can show off that killer body of yours." Paige said the words before realizing what they meant. She felt her cheeks redden. She glanced at Dani and noticed she was blushing.
"So. You think I have a killer body eh? I was beginning to wonder if you were immune to the charms of other women." Dani said offhandedly, trying to lighten the tension.
Paige rolled her eyes, grateful that Dani was being so cool about it. "I can appreciate a girl's features. I'm not exactly blind."
Dani. She was the unexpected complication in Paige's life. She had known Dani since they were kids and has always known that Dani saw her as more than a friend but Paige made it clear that she never saw Dani the same way. When she finally admitted she's gay she had already been irrevocably in love with Emily. But that didn't keep Emily from being bothered by Dani's presence in Paige's life. She constantly reassured Emily that she was the only girl she will ever have feelings for and while Emily trusted her, she didn't trust Dani. Dani enjoyed the fact that Emily was bothered by Dani's and Paige's closeness and she never let an opportunity pass to push Emily's buttons. One day, Dani pushed too hard and Paige was forced to choose a side, further increasing the animosity between Emily and Dani. For some time it seemed like their friendship was over for good until a secret involving Dani's father surfaced and she reached out to Dani, once again restoring their friendship. However, living in Rosewood became tough after the revelation of the secret and her parents decided to move for Dani's sake. She didn't hear from Dani for some time after that until she got a letter from Dani one day saying her parents got divorced and that her father remarried. She wanted to write back to Dani but there was no return address on the envelope. She figured Dani didn't want anyone to know where they were. Paige understood Dani's desire to pretend they didn't exist anymore. When her parents died, she knew Dani was the only one who could help her so she sought her out by asking for her whereabouts from her stepbrother.
That was the only reason she looked for Dani. To ask for her help. But that was two years ago. Now, as she took in Dani's features, she couldn't help but wonder how she could have missed all those years how gorgeous her best friend was. She took a minute to study Dani as she moved about in the room, taking in the way Dani's long, wavy strawberry blond hair gently framed her face, the way her long eyelashes fluttered when she blinked, eyelashes that hid eyes so blue that you could swear you were staring at a vast blue sea. She gazed at Dani's well-defined cheekbones before moving to her lips and let her gaze travel to Dani's slender neck. Other than Emily, Dani had one of the smoothest skins she has ever touched and she felt her heartbeat quicken when she thought back at the moment she held Dani's hand that morning to reassure her that things were different. Things were different. Complicated. She was attracted to Dani. She knew that. And she was actually toying with the idea of doing something about it for some time now. But today, seeing Emily, just being near her again, it was like a train hit her and knocked the wind out of her. And just when she was about to get up to dust herself off, the train came back and hit her again and again and again until she couldn't get up. She can't ignore the way Emily made her feel. She can't ignore Emily. Period. And no matter how much she convinced herself that she was finally ready to be more than friends with Dani, their unexpected return to Rosewood and encounter with Emily made her question if she was indeed ready. If she was ready to give up and just accept the fact that she and Emily will never be together. She didn't know what to do and that bothered her. The last thing she wanted was to cause pain again. And she knew that whatever she decides to do about her feelings, Emily or Dani was going to get hurt. She was distracted from her thoughts by the sudden ringing of their phones at the same time. Dani looked at her in confusion before checking who was calling them. Before Paige left Rosewood, she decided to have her number temporarily disconnected so it cannot be traced while she was following leads. Instead, in the first few months that she was gone, Paige used burner phones to call Emily as a precaution to keep their whereabouts unknown. When she saw her with Tara, Paige felt she was holding Emily back with her late night calls so she stopped in an effort to cut all ties with Emily. Now that they're back, Paige decided to reconnect her number. No use hiding now.
"Wow. Of all the things they are, subtle is not one of them. How did Spencer even know my number?" Dani asked, confused, before looking at Paige again. "Bet you Emily wants to have you all to herself tonight that's why Spencer is calling me. They're running interference. What do you want to do?"
Paige knew she had to have a proper conversation with Emily eventually. The last thing she wanted was talk to her tonight but the sooner she does it, the sooner she can focus on what she came back to Rosewood for. "I gave Hanna your number this morning. Just in case she couldn't reach me. Didn't you have to go and meet your brother anyway?" Paige asked.
Dani shrugged. "Yeah but he could wait until later. It's not like we haven't spoken and seen each other in years. We just haven't seen each other face to face. Like physically."
"Still. You don't have to go and have dinner with Emily's friends. You could just tell them you have other plans that don't involve me." Paige said. She knew Dani never felt comfortable around Emily and her friends.
"Nah, it's cool. I'm kind of dying to know how things have been since I left." Dani said. "Besides, I want real food P. I mean I love my stepbrother and all but he's a lazy cook when it comes to me. His idea of dinner is probably one of those frozen dinners we eat when we're on the road." Seeing the look of mock indignation on Paige's face she hurriedly continued, "Not that I'm complaining but… come on, you have to admit dinner with Spencer is a different issue. Spencer doesn't consider ramen noodles as food. Spencer is the answer to my cravings."
Paige shook her head. "Fine. Go ahead. Have dinner with them. Just play nice okay? I need to talk to Emily anyway. Clear the air."
Dani scoffed. "Please. I always play nice."
"Dani." Paige pleaded.
"Fine. I'll play nicer." Dani raised her right hand. "Promise."
Paige mouthed a silent Thank You before answering her phone, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "Emily."
"Hey Paige." Emily said while trying to control the involuntary bouncing of her legs. She was so nervous she barely got the words out. "Listen I know it's kind of last minute but I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight. At my place. If it's not too weird." Emily said quickly.
"Uh, tonight? I don't know. That is kind of sudden. Are you sure you're up for it?" Paige's voice came through the line. God she missed hearing her voice. "I mean, don't you have classes tomorrow?" Paige continued.
"I don't have classes on Saturday. Come on. Please? I can cook now. I promise you won't get food poisoning this time." Emily said, trying to lighten the conversation. Please say yes. Please say yes. Emily pleaded silently, biting her bottom lip while anxiously waiting for Paige's answer.
"Your place is kind of far from here." Paige said after a beat.
I wonder whose fault is that. Emily wanted to say. "I can come pick you up. It's no trouble. Really." Just please say yes. Emily tensely waited for Paige's response again.
"Okay. What time do you want me?" Paige asked.
All the time. Emily felt her heartbeat quicken. I want you all the time. "Uh, I'll come by around 8."
"Okay. See you then." Paige said before hanging up without another word.
Emily hung up the phone, suddenly looking forward to tonight. It didn't matter that Paige seemed curt just now. She would finally have the chance to talk to Paige alone. Hopefully after tonight things will be a little less weird between them. She hastily stood up and called out to her friends who were in the kitchen. Spencer was probably still on the phone with Dani. Making her way to the front door, she yelled a goodbye to them, telling them she's going home to start dinner for Paige. She barely heard their shouts of 'Good luck' and 'Go get her', her mind already filled with thoughts of preparing the perfect welcome home dinner for Paige.
Dani already left to meet Aria, Spencer and Hanna for dinner 30 minutes ago, leaving Paige alone in the motel room. This gave her time to actually let her guard down. Breathing deeply, she let her shoulders relax and closed her eyes, allowing for a brief moment to play across her features the emotions she tried so hard to hide since they arrived. She was beyond exhausted. Emily. Tonight was going to be hard. She knew that. Having to constantly keep her feelings in check around Emily is going to be hell but she had to try her best not to let Emily know how much her mere presence still affected her after all these years. She could have said NO when Emily asked her to come over for dinner because she knew Emily wanted to talk. Saying no would have been the easier way out. But she refused to do that to Emily and she can't avoid her forever. She knew she had to keep her at a distance while she figured things out and she wanted to tell her to reschedule the dinner some other time but she heard the fear in Emily's voice. Emily tried to hide it but Paige heard it. She knew Emily was terrified Paige was going to say no and she felt her resolve to avoid Emily as much as possible weaken. Still, she wasn't ready to let Emily in completely. Truthfully, she doesn't know if she'll ever be ready to let anyone else in for that matter. Because that would mean admitting everything. Including the real reason why she felt she had to leave. The last thing she wanted to do was tell Emily the ugly, horrifying truth. Because saying those words out loud still terrified her. Saying those words would mean she would have to face the monster she created that night and she wasn't ready to face it.
She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. She only had a few minutes left before she had to keep her emotions in check again. She turned on her side and curled into a fetal position, fighting the urge to let out the rage she was feeling again. She balled her fists and was about to try and start counting to 10 when her eyes suddenly wandered on the bedside table and she saw the bouquet of lilies Emily gave her earlier. She reached out to touch it and instantly felt herself calming down. Suddenly, there was a hesitant knock on the door. She slowly got up and made her way towards it, taking a staggering breath before opening the door. Fuck. Paige almost lost all train of thought. All she wanted was to take Emily in her arms and kiss her right there and then until they were both breathless. Paige felt her heartbeat race a mile a minute. She was mesmerized. Emily's long silky raven hair was brushed to one side, her lips glossy from the Chapstick she was wearing. She smelled of vanilla and strawberry. She wore a long-sleeve, form-fitting charcoal grey top that accentuated her curves and matching black tight-fitting pants. She forgot how breathtaking Emily is. She wanted to feel her skin against hers so much it hurt.
"Hey." Emily greeted, smiling shyly at Paige.
Paige could swear she heard herself gulp. "Hey." She said. Then, before she could stop herself she blurted out, "You look breathtaking."
Emily's smile widened at her words. "Thanks." Emily said, breathless.
Paige saw how those words affected Emily. Saw how Emily tried to hide her blush. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful. Paige wanted to touch her so bad but knew she shouldn't. She can't let Emily get the wrong impression. Instead, she clenched her hands into fists. At that moment, Emily looked down shyly and a strand of hair made its way to her face but before Emily could tuck it back, Paige reacted instinctively, reaching out to tuck it behind her ear, her eyes making its way to Emily's lips involuntarily. She let her hand linger behind Emily's ear for a second before deciding to put her hands on the front pocket of her jeans. It was safer that way. "Sorry." Paige mumbled, feeling her face turn red. "Force of habit."
Emily shook her head and smiled, her heart still hammering. She finally saw a glimpse of the old Paige. The night was off to a good start. "It's okay. You look stunning by the way."
Paige nodded and closed the door behind her. "We better get going." She said while walking past her, making her way toward Emily's car.
Or maybe not. It took a minute for Emily to find her voice again before she started to follow her. "Right. Dinner." Paige was so hot and cold with her. One minute she was telling her how breathtaking she looked, doing things like tucking her hair behind her ear like she used to, the next she was dying to get over dinner. Emily was still reeling from the sensation of Paige's hand when she gently tucked her hair behind her ear. For a second she actually thought Paige was going to kiss her. Emily took a minute to try and get her breathing to return to normal. Watching Paige as they made their way to her car, she hoped tonight Paige would tell her something, anything about what she's been up to the two years they have been apart.
"Dinner was great Em. Thanks." Paige said as she wiped the sides of her mouth with the table napkin. "It's been a while since we, I mean, Dani and me, had a home-cooked meal. And you're right. Your cooking skills have most definitely improved."
Emily decided to ignore Paige mentioning Dani's name and just beamed at her, her heart beating wildly when she heard Paige call her by her nickname. She missed that. "I'm glad you liked it. I, uh, decided to take cooking lessons a few months after you left. I figured I'd surprise you when you came back." She added shyly.
"Well, at least now if swimming doesn't pan out for you, you could have a future in the food industry." Paige said lightly, standing up to start clearing the dishes.
Emily finally relaxed and followed suit; things were starting to look up. "Paige McCullers did you just make a joke?" She teased.
"No joke. I'm dead serious. Everything tasted great tonight Emily." Paige said quietly.
Emily sighed. And then the moment was gone. Putting the plates down, she finally decided to confront Paige. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" Paige asked warily, somehow knowing what was about to come. She tried to steel herself but nothing prepared her for what happened next.
Emily couldn't hold it back anymore. "Shut me out. Today at the bus station, you barely said anything. Like I'm some stranger. And then tonight, at the motel, one minute it was like the old Paige was back, the next it was like you could barely stand to be around me." Emily was starting to lose her composure but she didn't care. The Paige in front of her was breaking her heart all over again and the fact that it was already broken for so long made it worse.
"Two years Paige. I waited for two years for you to return to me. And now that you're back it still feels like I'm waiting for you!" Emily felt herself getting mad but she couldn't stop herself.
"I never asked you to wait for me." Paige told her unemotionally in an effort to seem indifferent to Emily's feelings, "You made that choice on your own so don't you dare throw that in my face." She continued, fueling Emily's anger.
"I made that choice because I love you and I chose to believe you would keep your promise and return to me!" Emily said brokenly. "I wasn't throwing it in your face Paige. I just wanted you to know that I waited. That I'm still waiting."
"Even when you were cozying up to Tara?" Paige said before she could stop herself. She didn't dare look at Emily. She knew this conversation was inevitable but she had to keep her rage in check. She couldn't let Emily see how out of control she had become.
"Even when I was with Tara." Emily said sadly. "The thing with Tara was a mistake. I knew that the moment it started. I was just so lonely and she was there. And while it felt nice to have someone beside me, it didn't feel right that it wasn't you. So I ended things. I don't want to be with anyone else."
Emily continued her confession. "When you made the decision to leave without me, you still called me everyday Paige. We still talked. For the first few months that you left you still called. But then suddenly the calls stopped. Something happened didn't it? Please just tell me what happened." Emily begged, tears blurring her vision again. "The days that followed after you stopped calling was hell. I woke up every day hoping today was the day I would finally get a call from you. Just to let me know you were safe and alive and that I was still a part of your life even if we weren't together anymore. I go to sleep every night praying I would see you in my dreams and that if I do see you that I would never wake up."
Emily was trembling from head to toe, her body racked with sobs. Damn it, just when I thought I wouldn't break down again. But knowing that the reason for her breakdown all those other times was finally standing in front of her, she let the tears come, all her pent up emotions coming in waves. "Did you even miss me?" She whispered brokenly.
Just when she felt like she was going to collapse from the pain and exhaustion, she felt Paige's arms around her. Her body reacted instinctively and she turned towards Paige. Their bodies seemed to have always fit effortlessly. But in the two years that passed, she didn't know how it was possible, but it seemed like Paige grew a little taller than her. Now their bodies fit perfectly. Wrapping her arms around Paige's neck, she rested her head just below it, letting all of her pain out. Being held by Paige was incredible. Like everything suddenly made sense again. I love her so much. Why can't things work out for once? Emily tightened her grip on Paige, clinging for dear life, scared she would lose her again if she let go.
Paige held Emily tightly against her, her chin lightly resting on Emily's head. The minute Emily broke down all rational thought flew out the window. She tried hard not to let herself feel anything when Emily started crying but she couldn't take it anymore. She had always known that Emily was strong. But for the first few months that she left her, she still came back to check on her once in a while. Just to make sure she was coping well. She was careful not to reveal herself to Emily though. She just watched her. Because the reality was she couldn't let her go. Until one day she knew she was going to be fine. She found someone new in the person of Tara. So she stopped. Stopped watching over her, stopped calling her. It was better that way. She didn't know when she was going to return, if she was going to return, and if the person that would return would still be deserving of Emily's love. It wasn't fair to Emily. So she decided to cut all ties. Even if it meant breaking the promise she made to her that night at the marina. Even if it meant Emily would loathe her forever. But just like her, Emily did a good job of hiding how broken she really was all these years. She never saw it. Or maybe she didn't want to see it. But Emily was never fine. She has always been broken ever since Paige left her. Paige felt the rage build inside her again. It threatened to consume her. This wasn't fair. How could something that was once as beautiful and pure as their love turn into something unbearable overnight? Remorse coursed through her veins. She loved this girl more than life, more than anything in the world. And that was the problem. That created the monster inside her.
For a minute Emily just let herself be held by Paige, reveling in the thought that she was this close to Paige again even if it was just for tonight. She knew they had a lot of things to figure out. That they can't just return to how things were. The years they spent apart changed them. But she wanted to try. And she hoped Paige does too. When she finally calmed down, Emily slowly extricated herself from Paige's arms and wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself. Paige just stood in front of her, not saying anything. She gingerly took Paige's hand. At first she thought Paige would recoil from her touch, but she just let Emily guide her to the sofa in the living room. Paige sat down beside her and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath and trying to relax. Emily felt Paige's rage. She can't explain it but Paige's body was so taut she knew Paige was trying her best to control that rage. Trying to shield Emily from the darkness she saw in Paige earlier at the bus station. Neither of them knew what to say so they sat in silence for a while.
Paige felt emotionally exhausted. Emily had this way of seeing right through her without saying anything. That's why she didn't want to come over tonight. Because she knew Emily would take one look at her and see the darkness. She could feel Emily's gaze on her. She knew if she opened her eyes right now and looked at Emily, she would see in the girl's eyes nothing but untainted love for her. And it sickened her. She didn't deserve someone as wonderful as Emily. But she knew she had to tell Emily something. Not everything. Not yet. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.