Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit

...

Quinn turns her phone over in her hands again and again.

She's sitting in the back and Mr Schuester is going on and on about this being everyone's last chance at being champions but the only time she actually listens to him is when he mentions Vocal Adrenaline coming in second last year.

Jesse would have been pleased.

She hasn't been able to really focus on any of her classes and that really sucks when the class is AP Chem at 8.30 in the morning. Of course, it's because of Jesse and in some ways it's a big enough step for her to even admit that. She thinks that he shouldn't be mad at her; after all, she was just stating the truth by calling him out (much like he's done to pretty much everybody) and she was trying to help him. She knows he won't call her first and so if she wants to fix this, she'll have to bite the bullet and call him.

When Mr Schue goes to photocopy some music, she sneaks out and heads into the empty hallway. She dials Jesse's number and gets his voicemail – 'You've reached Jesse St. James. Yes, the Jesse St. James, but you already knew that. Leave a message and I might get back to you.' She cringes a little as she waits for the beep, taking a second to make sure no one is around. "Jesse I'm…sorry," she says softly, getting out the two hardest words. "I didn't mean what I said and I don't think you're lazy. It's just –" she sighs, "– I guess it's not my place to say. Look, I'm at school and so I don't know when I can see you again but…call me." She hangs up and when she turns around, she sees the choir room door open and Rachel steps outside.

"Quinn, what are you doing out here?" she asks. Quinn can hear the accusatory tone and before she can say anything Rachel's walking right up to her, invading her personal space. "You heard Mr. Schue – this is our last shot at Nationals. That means that we have to practise to the best of our abilities. I know that you may think that since you are not as able as someone who sings lead and is well accustomed to rigorous vocal training you can afford to take certain liberties with your time at rehearsal, but we all have to work together if we want to win." Rachel's looking at her imploringly with her arms folded and Quinn wouldn't be surprised if the diva started tapping her foot any second now.

"I'm not skipping glee club Rachel. I just had to answer a phone call."

"From who?"

"This guy I met at church camp," replies Quinn almost instantly. She figures it can't hurt to have people know that she's still out there and sure as hell isn't pining over Finn anymore.

If Quinn wasn't wondering if Santana had told everyone about Jesse, she'd have made a face at the way Rachel goes from looking annoyed to positively thrilled in less than a second. "That's wonderful Quinn," she says, placing her hand on her chest. "I must admit I was worried that my relationship with Finn would become something that you just couldn't see past, and that it would ultimately damage our already fragile friendship but…I'm really happy that you're happy." Her brown eyes soften and she gives Quinn a less-crazy-more-genuine smile.

Quinn has to stop herself from glaring.

The first weekend after school starts, Brittany throws a party. Quinn doesn't really want to go but Brittany has this strange way of being really persuasive and that's why she finds herself alone in the kitchen, trying to avoid the loud music. She has a plastic cup in her hand but apart from the occasional sip, she's not really drinking because there are some mistakes that she's not going to make again.

"Q what the fuck are you doing just standing there?" asks Santana as she comes in. The Latina steadies herself by the fridge before rummaging inside it.

"Not much," she replies in monotone.

"Well we're doing shots upstairs, so if you're done being a kill joy you can join." She pulls out a tray of lemon wedges and leaves again. Quinn rolls her eyes and it's only when a few drunken football players stumble in and notice her that she begrudgingly follows her friend.

When she goes up she sees most of the members from glee club sitting in a circle with a bottle of tequila in the centre and of course, Finn and Rachel are there as well. Finn grins at her and Quinn has to force a smile back. She takes the spot next to Santana and suddenly she grabs Quinn's wrist, rolling up the sleeve of her cardigan.

"Santana what are you doing?" she almost yells, pulling away.

"Checking for rug burn," Santana replies with a smirk.

"Why would she have rug burn?" asks Finn, just as Puck starts to chuckle.

"Oh don't you know?" The Latina's grin grows even wider and her eyes light up. "I was just making sure that I can still call Quinn Virgin Mary. With the amount of time she's been spending with a certain guy, you never know."

"Santana don't do this," she warns, keeping her eyes fixed on her friend. "Please."

"Ooh, who's the lucky boy Quinn?" asks Kurt, clasping his hands together. His face is the shade of tomato and Quinn runs a hand through her hair, trying to think of what to say. She doesn't need everyone knowing that she's been spending time with Jesse, especially not now.

"Nobody. He's nobody because Santana's lying."

"Nobody? I don't think he'd be happy if he knew you called him a nobody."

"Santana shut –"

"Wait, is that why we didn't see you all summer?" asks Finn as he removes her arm from around Rachel.

"No I just –" Quinn looks around the circle at all the inquisitive faces and she can't form a coherent sentence.

"Everyone," pipes up Rachel, "who Quinn chooses to date is none of our business and I think we should respect her privacy. Besides she met him at church camp, so it's not like any of us would know him anyway."

Her eyes widen and she glares at Rachel, who clearly still thinks she's being helpful.

"That's not very nice Rachel. Just because Quinn's a Christian it doesn't mean that she spends every summer at church camp," says Brittany.

Rachel frowns at Quinn. "But Quinn you told me –"

Santana starts laughing and Quinn gets up, leaving the circle and practically running into Brittany's room. She shuts the door and leaves the lights off, taking a few seconds to just collect her thoughts. When her phone rings, she jumps and when she finally fishes it out of her purse, she can't believe it.

"Hello Jesse." She keeps her voice down and sits on Brittany's bed.

"Quinn. How've you been?" he asks. His voice is as casual as ever and it's hardly as though they've not been speaking for the past week.

"Okay. McKinley still sucks," she says tentatively, trying to judge his mood.

He lets out a quiet laugh and she finds herself relaxing a little. "Well that's hardly news. What're you doing now?"

"Now? Not enjoying a party."

"That's too bad. I'm having a fabulous time myself."

She laughs despite herself and chews her bottom lip. "Doing what exactly?"

"Talking to you."

"Jesse…" She knows that it's a line and that he's flirting but she's not exactly stopping him either.

"I know, I know. Anyway, fortunately for you I happen to be at my uncle's place so…do you want me to come and rescue you?"

She thinks of the circle of glee club members doing shots and grimaces. "Not that I need it but, if you were to stop by and give me a ride home, I'd be grateful."

She gives him Brittany's address and tells him to stop a little down the road so that no one will see her leaving with him.

By the time she goes back outside, the circle is gone and now only Finn and Rachel remain, sitting on the couch. Twenty minutes have passed since Jesse had called and seriously, there's no way his house is that far. Finn keeps trying to make eye contact and she determinedly avoids it, hoping that he's not going to ask her about who her 'boyfriend' is any time soon. She hears someone coming up the stairs and she expects to see Santana coming up to torment her some more.

Instead all she sees is a head of curls.

"Jesse?" She hates herself for saying him name aloud because instantly Finn and Rachel turn as well. He takes a few more dramatic steps up the stairs before leaning on the bannister and stopping to scan the room; his eyes flick past Rachel and Finn before settling on Quinn.

"What the hell is St. Douchebag doing here?" Finn stands up and takes a few steps towards Jesse. Rachel seems to be in shock because she just continues to sit and stare at her ex, eyes wide.

"And here I thought we could both be adults and move past something as juvenile as name calling," says Jesse, looking incredibly bored. "But I suppose you are still in high school; I guess I will just have to be the grown up for the both of us." He moves to stand next to Quinn and smiles down at her.

"How did you get in?" Quinn asks, with a hint of a grin.

"Simple. Brittany. Now…are you ready to be rescued?"

He holds out his hand and just as Quinn is about to take it, Rachel speaks up. "Wait – you're here because of Quinn?" Her gaze shifts to Quinn and suddenly Quinn feels a surge of boldness, looking right back and holding her chin up.

"Seems that way doesn't it?" Jesse says as though he's speaking to a child, "Is there a problem with that?"

"N..no…it's just that she said she was dating someone from church camp."

Jesse smirks and raises an eyebrow as he turns to Quinn. She subtly rolls her eyes and gives him a one shouldered shrug, hoping that Jesse picks up on the fact that she had to lie. He must because he then says, "Well you'll have to introduce me sometime Quinn. Now we really should go, I feel my IQ lowering by the second being in Hudson's presence."

"Dude fuck off," growls Finn, "nobody wants you to be here anyway."

"I do." Quinn looks at her ex-boyfriend defiantly and his face falls to give her one of his kicked puppy looks. It isn't going to work. "And so does Brittany. So really Finn, it's just you."

"Quinn why are you doing this?" he asks softly.

"Doing what exactly?" She's not sure where this rage is coming from but it's building within her and she can't stop it. "I'm sure this comes as a shock considering how in love with you Rachel is, but not everyone's world revolves around you. And besides, the two of us -" she stops to make a gesture between her and Jesse "- being friends makes for a good twist in this sick story."

"That's funny, I didn't think he had any friends," spits out Finn.

Jesse completely ignores Finn and turns to Quinn. "Do you think Brittany had the foresight to keep popcorn downstairs? If this is going to continue any longer, I'll definitely need some."

Finn glares some more but to no effect. "Fine, if you're suddenly Quinn's friend, you should have no problem talking to us since we're her friends too."

Jesse raises his eyebrows in amusement. "I think you'll find that she would disagree with that but you're right, I am more than capable of humoring you."

"You see, he can't even go five seconds without being an asshole," says Finn to Rachel.

"Actually I can. It's just that being an asshole to you is terribly entertaining."

Finn then turns back to Quinn. "You can't trust him; he's probably only using you to get Rachel back or something."

Now this is just too good. "It kills you, doesn't it?" she asks, giving him a small, malicious smirk.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, neither of us have done anything to you since Nationals. I'm not in love with you, Jesse hasn't tried to go after Rachel and we haven't done anything to break you two up. In fact I haven't even seen you for most of the summer so really, there isn't even a reason for you to be angry."

"I'm not angry at you Quinn, I could never stay angry at you…it's just him that I have a problem with."

"You and Rachel aren't the center of attention anymore and that's what kills you," she finishes.

Finn looks away and it's clear that she's hurting him but standing next to Jesse, it doesn't seem like as much of a big deal anymore.

"Quinn please stop," pleads Rachel, "I know that things haven't worked out for you in the couple of years but if you'd just let us in we'd be able to help you."

Quinn snorts. "And how exactly do you think you could help me?"

"We could just talk. We'll always be a family and you can tell us anything. Like if you ever wanted to talk about something, say…Beth and how you miss her, I'd be there for you," the brunette girl, her voice getting quieter towards the end.

And there it is. Rachel's real agenda. Quinn feels another outburst building up inside her. "God just shut up Rachel. You don't know what you're talking about and you don't know me so don't even try."

Rachel visibly flinches and moves a fraction behind her boyfriend.

"Hey Quinn, you can't talk to my girlfriend like that. She's just trying to help you."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Honestly Finn, I didn't think it was possible for you to be any slower but you just proved me wrong."

Finn's brow furrows. "Whoa, that's not fair Quinn. You've seen me out on the field like a billion times – I'm one of the fastest guys on the team."

"That's very astute of you Finn," says Jesse, completely seriously.

Finn towers over the curly haired boy, wearing a smug smirk – he must think he has finally one upped Jesse. Next to him, Rachel folds her arms and huffs. "You know, I don't appreciate you two patronising my boyfriend." Quinn turns to Jesse and he looks right back at her, wearing the same amused look. "You underestimate him."

"The only thing I underestimate about Finn is his capacity to suck," says Jesse and Quinn keeps her bitch face firmly in place.

Finn snaps his head towards Jesse. "God I wish you'd just…stop existing."

Quinn scoffs at that one and Jesse just gives Finn a mocking smile.

"Why do you always have to be so mean Quinn?" asks Rachel.

"Why do you always have to stick your giant nose into other people's business Rachel?" Quinn fires back, giving the diva a death glare.

Rachel folds her arms and looks away before mumbling, "Well at least my 'giant nose' is actually my own."

Quinn smiles curtly at the diva's jab. "I'm not the one who went to the surgeon to try and get your nose on my face."

Rachel looks at her in outrage and Finn comes to her defence again. "Wow, you know, after last year I really thought that you had changed Quinn. But it turns out that you're just as cold and cruel as you always were."

"Yeah," she agrees, nodding her head mockingly, "being dumped at a funeral will do that to you."

"Quinn I said I was sorry, but isn't it better this way? We're not lying to each other anymore and –"

"Can you please just stop talking so we can leave," she interrupts, before looking away. She doesn't need all those feelings to be rehashed right now.

"No we need to be honest about this. What we had wasn't love and you know it. And like Rach said if you really miss Beth, and you must because Puck does, you can always talk –"

"No actually I think you should just take Quinn's advice," Jesse cuts in, "every time you make an infantile attempt at taking charge to cover up your own insecurities it just makes you look more idiotic and pathetic than you normally are."

"Jesse that's enough," says Rachel. "I wish you'd just respect my relationship with Finn." Quinn rolls her eyes again at that.

"You mean the way he respected your relationship with me?" Rachel doesn't answer and Jesse continues. "I confess that I will never understand your reasons for choosing to be with this all around lump of a boy but this has nothing to do with that. Although I feel that you should know, if your world continues to include him, it won't include Broadway."

Rachel folds her arms again and narrows her eyes at Jesse. "And who are you to say that?"

"Someone who's destined for things much greater than Ohio. It's just an observation Rachel and if you really didn't think that there was some truth to what I was saying, you wouldn't be so offended. Tell me, do you even know what his plans are for senior year? Or better yet, does he?"

Rachel opens and closes her mouth a few times, much like a fish, and before Quinn can tag team in with a line about being a car mechanic, she takes Finn's hand and stomps down the stairs. Finn shoots them both a death glare just as his head disappears behind the bannister.

"Well played Fabray, I guess there's hope for you yet," muses Jesse as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Why did you come up here? I told you I'd meet you outside," she says softly, still a little in awe of her own behaviour.

"I figured it'd make the night a little more eventful. I was right." He grins at her and while she really, really shouldn't feel good about the things she had just said, she smiles back. "Now, let's get out of here before they come back for round two."

"I don't think we have to worry about that, they barely made it through round one," she teases as they go downstairs. The party has mostly died down and apart from Brittany and Santana who are cuddling on an armchair, there's no sign of anyone. Jesse raises an eyebrow at the two girls, looking to Quinn for an explanation but she just pushes him towards the front door.

Once they're outside, she follows him to his car but when they get there she's surprised to see he isn't driving the Range Rover anymore. "Nice car," she says, observing his new black vintage Mustang.

"Thanks, it's new. A gift from my parents. I was thinking about a convertible but I didn't want to run the risk of someone slashing the top and besides, having windswept hair all the time is just overkill."

She raises an eyebrow as she gets in the car. She kind of loves that it's not ten feet above the ground anymore. "Your parents gave you a gift?"

"Oh didn't I say? I'm the favourite again," he says with a satisfied smirk.

"And why is that?" She gets the feeling that he's hiding something from her and she's determined to get it out of him.

"Firstly, although my sister is out of rehab now, she's taken to smoking to keep off the pounds so…my parents aren't too pleased with that. And secondly, I've just been accepted into OSU."

"So how'd you manage to get in so easily?" Quinn asks Jesse as he sits on her bed. It's the first time he's been in here and Quinn's a little self-conscious. But her mother's asleep and she knows that she wants him up here and that's good enough for now.

"My mother was ecstatic when I told her I was considering going back to college and well, my father knows some of the adcoms. I sent them a tape of my last Regionals performance and that was that. I got the letter the very next day. It was to be expected really."

"I'm happy for you," she says with a small smile.

"I figured you did make a few good points, even if your methods weren't exactly to my liking; just don't let it go to your head Fabray."

"Me? Never. That's more your thing."

He makes a face and she laughs before sitting next to him. "Can I ask you something Quinn?" She nods and he continues. "What was that nose thing that Rachel mentioned?"

She stiffens and turns away, debating on whether to tell him the truth or just make something up. "I don't know Jesse; it's not exactly the kind of thing you'd want to hear."

"If it helps I've already figured out that you made a few adjustments so…you might as well try me."

Quinn looks at him and then down at her hands before proceeding to tell him the story of Lucy Caboosey. She's a little nervous as she speaks – she's afraid that it'll change everything between them. But Jesse just sits and listens, keeping his blue eyes fixed on her own and when she finishes, he smiles at her warmly.

"Can I see her?" he asks, tilting his head a little.

She looks over at her drawer where she still has a photo of Lucy. "No. I'm just not ready for that because…I'm scared that if I show you, you won't be able to see me in the same way again. I really don't want that to happen. It's stupid I know but –"

"Fair enough."

"Really?" She didn't expect this; if anything she'd have thought he'd be annoyed by her unwillingness to share the photo.

"Yes. Lucy is of no concern to me. Quinn, however, is," he says, giving her hand a squeeze.

"So what, you don't think I'm just some vain little girl who took the easy way out?" she asks half-jokingly.

"No. If I was a better person I'd tell you that you should be happy with what you're given but...I'm not. I've done things that I'm ashamed of and am sorry for but I have no regrets. And if the end justifies the means – well."

Something inside her chest swells and she feels a little prickle in her eyes. She blinks it off but she can't stop thinking about the fact that this is the first time anyone's ever just...accepted her choice. Her father had agreed to it because he thought it would give him another perfect daughter. Finn had said that he loved her because of Lucy and the problem with that was that she hated Lucy. Everyone else thought that she was a superficial spoilt rich girl who could buy her beauty. Suddenly she's aware of how close they're sitting.

"Do you think about your daughter a lot?" he asks and that snaps her out of her thoughts.

"Why do you ask?"

He shrugs. "Having to give up a child couldn't have been easy. I've known you for a while now and you've never even mentioned her."

She takes in a deep breath before deciding she may as well talk about it to him. God knows it's been on her mind for so long and she's never had anyone she wasn't afraid of opening up to. "I think about her all the time," she admits quietly. "She's a year old now."

"What's her name again?"

"Beth."

"And she was born during Regionals?" he asks, brow slightly furrowed.

"Yeah. Probably around the time that you were hoisting that trophy. Why?"

"Nothing…it's a nice name."

"Puck named her."

"I guess Puckerman's not completely useless then."

She chuckles and Jesse puts an arm around her shoulder, encouraging her to lean into him. She does and rests her head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth coming from his entire body. "Sometimes I wonder if she's said her first words yet. Or if she can walk – my mom used to tell me that I started doing everything a month early." Too bad she's disappointed Judy in every way since then.

"Two months in my case," he whispers. She punches him gently and he immediately chastises her for it, telling her that his body needs to be kept in prime condition now that he'll be starting to sing and dance at college.

"Jess…" she says, sitting back up again. As soon as she says his name, his eyes snap up to hers. She leans in and puts her arms around him; he immediately reciprocates, running his hands over her back. She places her head on his shoulder again and closes her eyes as she hugs him; feeling like, in that moment, he's sharing the weight of all her problems. "Thank you."

...

Author's Note: An extra long chapter because it's been a while since I updated :) I hope you all enjoy it and please do leave reviews to let me know what you think. Up next - Quinn takes a couple of big but hesitant steps...