Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit

...

She heads straight upstairs, to the bedroom where she's sleeping, without saying a word.

Now that Jesse's not singing anymore, all of Quinn's thoughts of Beth come rushing back and she finds herself wanting to be alone for a little while. She leaves the door open slightly open (it is his house), drops her cardigan on the chair, slips off her flats and sits on the bed.

It's not long before she's lying on her stomach, face buried into the pillow that's getting wetter by the second.

She'd imagined meeting Beth plenty of times before but she'd always thought that it would make her happier than it actually did. She doesn't even know why she's feeling this way. It's not like she'd been brave enough to even touch her. For a while she thinks it's because she's jealous and maybe a tiny part of her is but Shelby's a good mom and the kind of person who will make sure Beth grows up to do amazing things – Quinn couldn't ask for more.

She isn't going to tell Puck. Quinn's pretty sure that that makes her a horrible person considering that there were several times during her pregnancy where she was sure he cared more about Beth than she did. But apart from knowing that he got dumped by Lauren, she and Puck don't even talk anymore, and she has a feeling that he'd just get angry at her anyway. Especially if he ever found out that Jesse had been there too.

It's all too much and she can't do anything except let her feelings overtake her. She feels the bed shift when Jesse sits next to her but she keeps her face in the pillow, not wanting to move until the hot tears stop flowing. She doesn't want him to see her like this – weak and pathetic. Her body's shaking from how hard she's crying but he doesn't touch her.

She cries for what feels like forever and they don't speak, he just sits there and waits. She's not really in the mood to talk and it surprises her that he gets that. Eventually she feels him place a hand between her shoulder blades and she's settled down enough not to push him away immediately.

It's close to an hour before she's done and feels like she's regained enough control to face him. His hand's still there, falling away only when she rolls over. She looks up at him and his head is slightly tilted, almost as though he's trying work out if she's okay.

"God I must look awful," she says as she wipes her face. She'd rather talk about anything than what just happened and besides, crying into a pillow doesn't do good things for anyone. Jesse just smiles and hands her a glass of water which she takes immediately because hell, she's probably dehydrated by now.

"It's funny," he says, looking away from her, "you care about the little girl that you've only met twice and here my parents are hardly ever around, haven't been around for the best part of the past ten years, and I'm perfectly okay with it." He pauses to let out a long sigh and she's not sure if he's being dramatic on purpose. "It's rather sad really."

Jesse seems more reflective than regretful but she feels the need to say something anyway. "My father pretty much disowned me and my mom, well, I can't remember the last time we talked about something that actually mattered."

"And yet you feel so strongly for Beth. Obviously you're doing something right."

"If by that you mean doing everything possible to not become Judy Fabray 2.0, sure," she says with a shrug of the shoulders, "otherwise, not so much."

He brushes away a strand of her hair and uses the tips of his fingers to turn her face towards him. "It's frustrating that you think you're so incapable. You're a beautiful and intelligent girl Quinn; I only wish you'd realise that." He gently kisses her forehead and pulls away, his hand slipping down to caress her arm.

She blushes a little and then immediately feels stupid after because it's not like he's telling her something she doesn't already know. She's looking into his blue eyes but somehow they're becoming out of focus and then all of a sudden, she feels his lips press against hers. Her eyes fall shut even though she knows she should be pulling away; his lips start to move and she allows him to keep kissing her just as his hand comes to rest on her waist. It's slow and he keeps it that way for a while, until his tongue just barely brushes along her bottom lip and god, it's been so long that she can't help the shiver that runs through her entire body.

His lips are soft and he's good at this, so much so that when his tongue slips past her lips and his hand goes to the back of her neck, she's pretty sure this is one of the best kisses she's ever had. He shifts them so that she's lying down and manages to do it without breaking contact even once. When she's all the way back, his mouth leaves hers and starts to work on her neck, kissing and sucking in all the right places. Her hips are effectively trapped under his and if she could focus on anything apart from what he's making her feel, she'd be pushing him off of her. She'd never had a problem with doing it to Finn or Sam. Then again, neither of them had ever paid attention to her ear lobe the way Jesse's doing now.

He's much more urgent when he moves back to her lips and even Quinn feels as though this is a release of all the things that have been stirred inside her over the summer; every nerve in her body seems to spark and she kisses him back, keeping her eyes closed. She doesn't open them because then she'd realise that this is real and she isn't supposed to be doing, much less enjoying any of it. He brushes his fingers over the swells of her breasts and now she really needs this to be some elaborate figment of her imagination because no one has ever even gotten close to second base on the same night as a first kiss. Even with Puck, who is probably the only person who has just taken from her like this, there had been several stolen kisses in the library before anything serious had happened.

But Quinn lets Jesse take the lead.

Mostly because she's too far lost in everything that he's making her feel but also because a tiny part of her wants to know if he's really as good as she expects him to be. He pulls away and looks at her, as though he's asking for permission and she's not sure who the girl that shyly nods is because she definitely isn't Quinn Fabray. His hand feels cool against Quinn's chest and when it slides into her bra, she gasps loudly. She feels him grin against her skin and this time, he's actually justified in doing so. Sam had never been allowed under the bra but Finn had and she can't imagine him being able to do things like this without stopping to see what he was doing. Jesse only needs one hand and when the tips of his fingers graze across her nipple, she forgets not only Finn but also how to breathe. She might also be doing something ridiculous like arching her back into his palm.

When he pauses she moves his arm away and takes his face in both hands, trying to regain some control and get back into familiar territory. She can tell he's a little taken aback but he eases into it soon enough, rolling them over so that she's on top. She straddles his waist without meaning to and his hands go straight to her hips, holding her in place. Quinn waits for the moment where he gropes her ass like every other guy has done but it never comes. Instead one of his hands fists her hair and she's so taken aback by this, she gasps and breaks the kiss. She makes eye contact with him again her and he smirks at her, raising an eyebrow.

She doesn't get the chance to say anything because Jesse's lips are on hers again, one hand still in her hair and she can't fight the impulse to press her hips down onto his anymore. She hears him groan and this time Jesse's the one who has to pull away, closing his eyes and pressing his head back into the pillow. She takes advantage of the fact that he's caught off guard and starts to place soft kisses against his neck, appreciating the way his breathing becomes shallower and uneven. She even does a little exploring of her own, running her palms just under his t-shirt and oh – she really didn't expect him to be so toned. He whispers her name and when her hips meet his again, she gets to feel the confirmation that he likes what she's doing.

He turns them over and Quinn can feel his hand sliding up her knee and under her dress before coming to rest on her thigh. He doesn't go any further and it's almost like he's going slow on purpose, gauging her reaction at each step. She should be annoyed by this. She should be yanking his hand away. She should have some kind of self-control. But it's hard to think of all the things she should be doing when the warmth of his hand against her bare skin makes her feel like her entire body is burning up.

He takes the hem of her dress and she can't believe that she's lifting her hips to help him. The next thing Quinn knows he's pulling the dress up her body, over her head and before she realises it, it's being discarded somewhere behind him.

She's lying there in her underwear. Half-naked in her underwear.

Sure she's not a virgin anymore but she's never actually had all her clothes off in front of anyone before. Finn had seen her topless a few times but she'd made sure that it never went any further than that; it's not like Finn would've lasted long enough to go further anyway. Even with Puck, Quinn had insisted that her Cheerios uniform stay on the entire time and she has a feeling that he liked it more that way anyway. Now though, she's completely exposed in front of Jesse, praying that he can't see any stretch marks.

"God you're sexy," he says, running a finger up the outside of her thigh before stopping at her waist. She manages to give him a weak smile because he looks like he actually means it but she can't help but feel a little terrified as he hovers over her. His lips go everywhere – her mouth, down her neck and across her chest. She's a little relieved that he doesn't move to take off her bra because she's not sure she'd be able to muster the strength to protest. When he presses a kiss to the valley between her breasts, her hips buck and her legs seem to have a mind of their own because they spread open a little bit. She's experiencing a complete sensory overload and she grasps at the sheets, trying to focus on something other than what he's doing.

It's hardly working.

He continues down her stomach and if she wasn't convinced that her brain has completely shut off, she's sure of it now because otherwise, she'd absolutely be concerned about how fast they're moving. Granted she's known him for close to four months now and he's never tried anything before but they're not even dating and yet somehow he's getting further than almost all of her ex-boyfriends. It's too much too soon and she knows this. Senior year is supposed to be about her and getting out of Lima, not giving into urges and sleeping with a boy, let alone one who isn't her boyfriend. There are some mistakes that she's not willing to make twice.

"Jesse," she chokes out when she's collected herself enough to form an actual thought. He stops and looks up at her, but the words catch in her throat and he goes back to paying more attention to her body. When his tongue slides over her stomach she feels a flood of warmth between her legs and it makes her mind go completely blank. Her eyes shut and all she can hear is her own ragged breathing interlaced with soft moans. It's hard to tell him to stop when Quinn's not even sure if she actually wants him to. "I don't know what I'm doing," she says in a voice that comes out way too breathy for her own liking.

"That's okay. You don't have to; you just have to enjoy this." He continues kissing down the flat of her stomach stopping only when he reaches her underwear. "And trust me, you will enjoy." He runs his thumb just under her belly button and she almost lets herself give into him just so all this tension can end. But then that same thumb is dancing along the waistband of her panties and she snaps out of it. She forces her eyes open and squirms away from him on her elbows.

"Stop it," she says and she is a lot more forceful this time. He instantly pulls away and sits up, just as her legs snap shut.

"What's wrong?" He's just staring, she can't read his expression and now she's beyond uncomfortable.

"I – I can't do this." She shakes her head and brings her arms up to cover her chest, suddenly very aware of the whole situation. His face stiffens and he straightens up completely, eyes burning with intensity. When she doesn't elaborate, he gives her a slow nod and starts to move off of the bed. She knows it looks bad, especially because her lips are swollen and her hair is a complete mess but she retrieves the dress and uses it to cover herself anyway. "Jesse –"

She doesn't get to finish her sentence because with a quick spin of the feet, he walks out of the room. There's no slamming of the door and no full on storm out; he just leaves and the door shuts with a quiet click. It's not enough to make her cry but that doesn't mean she's not left feeling like shit. It isn't fair how a few seconds can change everything for the worse.

It really isn't fair.

She doesn't sleep well. In fact she's wide awake well before it's bright outside. Quinn tiptoes over to Jesse's bedroom but the door's closed. Quinn thinks about going in anyway but really, it's enough of a sign that she's not welcome anymore.

So she quietly stuffs her things in her overnight bag and heads downstairs, pausing only to look at a St. James family photo. Mr and Mrs St. James are standing with the three children sitting on chairs in front of them. It's from a while ago because Jesse looks a lot younger but even then he must have been the favourite because he's sitting right in the middle with his brother and sister on either side. Jesse's the youngest of the three and shares the same curly hair as his brother; the only difference is that his smile is much wider than either of his siblings. Again, she's reminded of the previous night and she can't imagine facing him this soon.

Quinn shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be leaving, especially after all that's Jesse's done for her in the past few days. But she knows, even now, how much she regrets letting Puck go too far and just the thought of doing anything like that with Jesse is really, really scary. And so she puts her bag in her car and does the thing that's much easier than going back upstairs and into his room.

She runs.

...

Author's Note: The shit's hit the fan...how long will it take to clean up?

Thanks to everyone for all the reviews for the last chapter :D I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!