God help me
believe me
This wasn't what I wanted
but no...
I can't leave ;;
Most of that day, Jasper had been all smiles. He'd taken Bella to their carousel that day, where they'd spent several hours talking, cuddling, and kissing within the sturdy carriage they always sat in. He was fairly certain that not one minute had gone by that he wasn't touching her in some way, be it kissing her, holding her hand, running his fingers through her hair, or having his arm around her. Jasper hadn't wanted to let her go; he just wanted to spend the rest of the day the way they were, enjoying each other to the fullest extent. Unfortunately, things were not going to be going the way he wanted them to. One phone call had wiped the smile off his face completely. One phone call had caused their day to spiral rapidly in another direction. One phone call had them leaving the abandoned amusement park in a rush, heading in the direction of the Cullen house.
The call had been from Carlisle, and it was not good news in the least. There had been a death in Forks; a death that appeared to be an animal attack but the exact cause was unidentifiable. To Jasper, Bella, and the rest of the family that obviously meant a vampire attack. This was a very sharp turn of events, as they had not heard of anything threatening since the night the newborn came to Bella's home. This development had confirmed their fears; they were getting closer to Forks. Jasper was going to have to physically prepare his family for this, which was something he'd been putting off in order to spend time with Bella. He had hoped it wouldn't come down to this, but it seemed their time was dwindling. When word got out, the dogs of La Push were going to know exactly what the cause of death was. That also meant trouble for the Cullens. No doubt they'd accuse them first. They'd also want to involve themselves in the situation, which was the last thing Jasper wanted.
As all of these thoughts were running through his head, Jasper was staring intently through the windshield. He was holding Bella's hand and his grip was firm. His hold was not hard enough to be a discomfort to her hand or risk breaking any bones, but it didn't take a genius to see that Jasper was very tense and stressed. He was also feeling very protective. He wanted to take Bella and run, but he had to speak with the family. He needed more details from Carlisle. He needed to know if this for sure was a newborn, or if it had been the leader in charge of them sending a warning. He needed information on the body. He was driving rather fast, much faster than he usually drove Annabelle, but this was an urgent situation. They needed to figure out their course of action right away. He wanted to offer her some sort of comfort through words, but he couldn't bring himself to speak right now. He was just so tense and angry at these newborns and their leader for causing them so much trouble and pain.
It always seemed like bad news came at the worst times. The worst times, meaning those that were the best. All day, Bella had been happy and carefree, content in just being with Jasper. It made it even better that they were relaxing in their favorite place. Their place. The carousel had come to feel like another home to Bella. It was sacred in a way; a haven where nothing bad could touch them. But today, that ideal was slightly tainted by Carlisle's phone call. She'd watched as Jasper's expression changed as he listened to his father on the other end and before he could even report back to her about what happened, Bella could feel the way his mood shifted significantly from the happiness she'd felt being exuded from him a minute beforehand.
A death in Forks; of course it wasn't an animal. There was only one thing that could have caused such an occurrence that would give off that appearance and they all knew what it was without needing it to be spoken aloud. For months, the deaths had been in Seattle, slowly growing closer. But now they were right on their doorstep. The danger was imminent and after both the newborn incident at Bella's home and the current news about the victim being found in their tiny town, there was no use in putting off any more preventive strategies. Things were about to change – Bella could feelit, sense it. It was rare that she had such feelings of unease but when she did, they were usually spot-on. The last time she'd felt this had been right before Edward left, right before the Cullen's disappeared from Forks altogether earlier that autumn.
It wasn't like Jasper to drive so quickly. He usually took his time, especially with her in the car. But now, there was a sense of urgency. She trusted him of course, and knew that they wouldn't be in any danger of getting into an accident of any sort, but still, Bella tensed in her seat. That could have partially have been because she could feel Jasper's uneasy mood radiating off of him in apprehensive waves. Though she was afraid of what was to come, the look of his face worried her as did his mood and thus, she tried as best as she could to remain calm, let him feel that she was composed. Her thumb gently stroked the back of his hand and her eyes never left him as they took the roads back to the Cullen home. She wanted to tell him she loved him, assure him that everything was okay. But words weren't needed just now. He would be able to feel those emotions from her and Bella hoped that would suffice for the time being.
But it was easy to see why they might not have. The situation they were about to face was sure to be trying. The discussion topic was grim and foreboding and that wasn't going to change. There was no delaying it either. Because of the speeds at which he was driving, they arrived at the house sooner than they would have normally. Before he got out of the car to come and open her door, Bella squeezed his hand reassuringly. It might not have reassured the situation, but it would allow him to know she was going to be right there with him. This had been the first time she'd been to the Cullen home since she'd gone the first day back of her return to Forks. Bella only wished it would have been on better terms.
Following Jasper inside, she managed a half smile at the rest of the family already assembled there. Nobody seemed exactly cheery, but the others seemed more pleased to see her than Rosalie. Such wasn't a surprise.
"This is what we know," Carlisle said when they began. "The victim was a man in his late thirties – Harvey Kline," he said, looking at Bella to see if she recognized the name. She shook her head, unfamiliar with the man.
Carlisle continued. "They found him in the woods near the highway. It was gruesome to be certain. The body was badly mangled which makes me think it was the work of a newborn," he said, now focusing on Jasper for his thoughts on the matter.
Even though he was stressed over the situation, he did not let that get in the way of his gentlemanly nature. Jasper still opened her car door for her and took her hand to help her out. After locking the car, he escorted her in through the garage. Jasper rarely ever saw the inside of the Cullen house anymore. Only when he went back to change, or if he was to meet Emmett or Carlisle to go hunting. Other than that, Jasper had been notably absent. It hadn't gone unnoticed by his siblings and parents, but none of them had said anything about it up until now.
Everyone had gathered in Carlisle's study, Jasper knew just from sensing them there. He took Bella into the room and released his hold on her hand just before opening the door. He let her walk in first, then followed behind her to join the others. Esme immediately rushed to hug Bella, then Jasper, before returning to her place beside Carlisle. Jasper nodded to the family, then folded his hands behind his back. He listened as Carlisle started right away, telling him what was known so far.
"Is the victim's body still at the morgue, Carlisle?" Jasper asked, wondering if his father was going to perform the autopsy. "If it would be possible for me to look at the body, I'd have a better idea. From what you say, it does sound like a newborn, however there's the possibility it was the leader, warning us that they're close. But newborns have a particular scent; their venom is much more potent. Even without me there I'm sure you'd be able to tell." He ran a hand through his hair and thought for a moment. "Either way, it's not good. Either way, it it was a message that they're assembling."
Rosalie snorted. "Assembling. Why? What do they want from us?"
Jasper shrugged. "It's unsafe to assume anything. It could be as simple as wanting our territory to hunt. They probably do not know of the pact with the wolves." Of course, he didn't really think that. He believed it was Victoria setting up her revenge. But he didn't want to confirm that in front of Bella.
Emmett pounding his fist into his palm. "So we're going to fight them?"
Jasper gave a slow nod. "I don't think we have a choice at this point. I'd hoped that they'd overthrow whoever is leading them and just kill each other off, but that won't be the case. Not soon enough for us to sit back and wait, anyway. I wish we knew how large the army is, but all we can do is overestimate and prepare for something large."
Jasper knew how to fight armies with armies, and while they were a strong united front, there was only five of them. Five against an army of unknowns that were all stronger than them. He'd speak that concern to Carlisle privately later, and inquire if he thought their Denali cousins might be good enough to come to their aid.
"This is ridiculous," Rosalie snapped. "Nothing like this ever happened to us before she came into our lives. What's she even doing here? She can't help us."
Jasper snapped his gaze to his twin and set his jaw, but fortunately Carlisle spoke before he could. "Comments like that aren't going to help the situation, Rosalie."
Jasper didn't need to say it in front of her – Bella already knew that things weren't as simple as a matter of hunting grounds. She knew that like so many other things that had caused heartache for the Cullen family, that she was the one responsible for this as well. She visibly tensed when Jasper confirmed that they would have to fight. She immediately had a flashback of the night when the newborn came to her house and Jasper had been on his own. He'd managed, but Bella never wanted to witness that again, not for any of the Cullen's. Especially Jasper.
Rosalie had a point too which only caused Bella to further remember that night. She'd been helpless. There was nothing she could have done to assist Jasper. If anything, she'd only made things worse by not listening to him and coming downstairs. Perhaps he never would have endured the scars he did for that reason. One thing was for certain – Bella didn't want him gaining any more for her sake. She knew all of this and yet, it was still hard to hear it spoken aloud in such a bitter tone from Rose. That stung.
Carlisle, kind enough to come to Bella's defense, only elicited a scoff from the bitter blond before he turned to address Bella. "Bella, we think it would be best if you went back to Jacksonville to stay with your mother for awhile," he said. "It would be safer for you there."
When the suggestion was made, Bella's face fell immediately. Without a second thought, she looked to Jasper. Panic shot through her when she realized that there was a chance she would have to be the entire way across the country from him. There, she wouldn't know what was happening. There, she would be even more helpless. There, she wouldn't be able to know if something happened to him. She couldn't stand for that. Bella wouldn't.
"But- But what about Charlie?" she asked, pulling for excuses to allow that idea to be extinguished immediately. The brunette forced herself to tear her eyes away from Jasper and look to Carlisle with pleading eyes. "I can't leave him here. He'd never go to Jacksonville," she said, looking to Esme as well.
Carlisle's suggestion made his shoulders tense. Jasper didn't like it at all. He understood the logic behind it; with Bella in Jacksonville, the newborns wouldn't be able to find her. her scent would come to a halt once she took off in the airplane that would take her across the country. She would be safe from harm, and they wouldn't have to worry about losing her in the battle. But he didn't want her to go to Jacksonville. He couldn't personally protect her that way, and there was no one else in this world he trusted enough to fulfill that responsibility. His reasons were mostly selfish, though. Along with keeping her at home, he wanted to be able to be the one she fell asleep curled up against, he wanted to be able to open doors for her, kiss her, help her out of the car, hold her. He needed her here.
Jasper met her gaze immediately, sharing a silent , brief moment of understand, before turning back to Rosalie. She'd noticed his look to Bella, and her returned gaze. It hit her then, the final piece in the puzzle of what Jasper was doing with his time lately.
"Oh, be a little more obvious about it," she said, rolling her eyes.
Jasper looked at Rosalie with feigned innocence. "What are you talking about?" He asked.
Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I saw the way you looked at Bella just now. Not to mention she's covered in your scent, and you spend all your time at her house. I can put two and two together."
Jasper gave a low, warning growl. "That's none of your business, Rosalie."
"This is absurd, and I want no part in it. Talk about whatever you want. I'm done here," Rosalie growled, then turned away from them all. She gave Bella a nasty glare, then stormed out of the room.
Emmett gave an apologetic smile and silently contemplated whether he should stay or go. Unfortunately his mind was a bit preoccupied with the fact that Jasper was with Bella, like that. "Jas, are you.. with Bella? For real?" He asked.
Jasper sighed. "It's really no one's business but mine and Bella's. If she wishes to satisfy any curiosity, that is her will. I'm here to talk about the newborns, not my personal life."
Esme came to their rescue then. "Jasper, you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. That goes for you too, Bella."
Carlisle tried to make the peace again between his children. He hated to see them fight. But in a way, it was probably good that Rose brought this up. It was something that did need to be addressed soon. "Bella," Carlisle said quietly. "Charlie will be taken care of."
He was trying to move on from having the focus of attention be on Bella and Jasper and back on the situation with the newborns. The head of the family had his suspicions about the two, and Esme was completely convinced. Emmett was dumbfounded, and Rose had just been angry, as was obviously on display just a moment ago.
It should have been no surprise that Rosalie would have a comment to offer up. But what wasa slight shock was the nature of her commentary. Bella hadn't meant for it to be quite so obvious when she met Jasper's gaze immediately upon the suggestion of her leaving, but it had to have been. In his eyes, she saw the same look reflected in her own. If she could have seen it, then it was sure that any onlooker could have as well. For a moment, Bella looked like a deer in headlights – frozen, unsure what to do.
They were all going to find out sooner or later. The two of them would have been foolish to truly think otherwise. Jasper was always with her, both at night while he was with someone keeping guard over the house, and during the day when they would go on their outings or curl up in her room all day. She realized that it was clear that their relationship went much further than just him keeping her safe. Rosalie had a point as well about the scent, which Bella hadn't considered at first. Of course he had to smell like her. They were all over each other in one way or another, be it kissing or cuddling or the like. It would've been strong enough to linger when jasper made appearances back at his own home.
Bella was quiet, looking at each person when they spoke. She was relieved that Jasper kept his head. He always did. He always seemed to know just what to do. She felt guilty when she caused Rosalie to leave the room in haste, but she didn't say anything to stop her. Nor did she deny her accusations. Everyone believed it now. Some, like Emmett, didn't realize it before, but there was no mistaking that Jasper and Bella were together. Even though Esme assured them there was no need to talk about anything they didn't want to, by not saying anything, they were simply acknowledging the truth. Denying it would have been lying.
And Bella couldn't do that. She wouldn't disrespect what she had with Jasper by dirtying it with deceit and lies. Still, she was grateful when Carlisle turned the conversation back to the issue at hand. Clearing her throat, she collected herself.
"Charlie isn't any safer with me in Jacksonville than he is with me here," she said. "They know where I live. They have my scent. Which means they have Charlie's too. I don't doubt that you could protect him, but I also don't doubt that he'll be victimized because of me regardless of whether or not I'm in the same place."
Carlisle knew she had a point. But he also knew that without Bella, there would be one less human to worry about, one less to protect. He also knew that she wouldn't stand for doing nothing, which is why he wasn't surprised in what she said next.
"Please… Don't ask me to leave," she said. It wasn't a request, but more of a statement. Bella wasn't going to leave them. She wouldn't leave Jasper.
"Bella, it's not that we don't want you here," Esme interjected softly. "We just want you safe." To her, Bella was like one of her own children. She needed to keep her best interest at heart. But the kind-hearted woman also knew where Bella's heart was. It happened to be with a curly blond-haired son of hers.
"But I want you all to be safe too," Bella said, looking at each of them remaining. Her eyes lingered on Jasper. There was really no use in hiding it anymore. "And I won't know that if I'm not here."
The mere thought of Bella being a country's distance away made Jasper incredibly uneasy. If he couldn't have her close to him, how was he supposed to know she was all right? He wouldn't be able to sense her if she was that far away. He felt incredibly guilty for his thoughts, because they were not putting Bella's safety first. Even if he felt he could protect her better than anyone else, distance was her ultimate protector in this situation. He very nearly said that out loud, but when Bella stated she did not want them to ask her to leave, he kept his thoughts to himself. For him to speak about it probably would have just upset him anyway.
"We'll find a way to keep everyone safe," he said, though there was little emotion on his features. He was going to have to do a lot of strategic planning. The outlook of the situation was very grim, and every single odd was against their survival. He turned his gaze back to Bella, as he could feel her eyes on him. "We'll do whatever it takes."
Carlisle wanted very much to offer that Jasper take Bella away himself. Something told him she'd be more likely to go some place safer if Jasper was with her. But he just couldn't. As much as he wanted that for his son, they needed him here. He didn't want any of his children facing this threat and being placed in danger, or his wife for that matter. But there was no choice. They had to put a stop to this before it got any worse. The last thing they needed was for the Volturi to take notice and come in to take care of it themselves. It would be all too tempting for the vampire leaders to pay them a visit too, and Carlisle was certain that his family would be unlikely able to keep their tempers upon meeting them. He himself was even unsure he'd be able to resist lunging at them for taking his son and daughter.
"Very well," he said quietly."We'll find a way to keep Bella away from the fight." He frowned a little, as Rose could be heard outside the room muttering "that figures, put her above everyone else" before a door slammed.
"She'll come around," Emmett said, again looking apologetic.
Carlisle shook his head dismissively. Acknowledging Rose's outbursts would only fan the flame. "I have been contemplating it, and I feel we may need to reach out to the Wolves about the matter. They at least need to know that it was not us who killed Mr. Kline, and that we have not broken the treaty. The last thing we need is a war with them on top of what we have coming at us. We may.. need them, should our numbers be limited to the family alone. I will be reaching out to our cousins and some of my trusted friends, but I cannot guarantee their alliance. But the wolves, even if they detest our existence, will not want the vampire army coming here anymore than we do."
Jasper had to suppress a growl at the mention of the wolves, though he could not keep his lip from curling into a half snarl. "Let's exhaust our other options before we go running to them for help. I agree, informing them of our innocence in the murder of that man is vital, but I believe for now they should be limited in their knowledge of the situation."
Esme moved to place an arm gently around Bella's shoulders. She knew this must be very difficult for her to hear, and completely understood. Quite often she felt helpless, as she knew she was not as strong of a fighter as her children and husband. The fact that she couldn't protect them by herself was heartbreaking for the vampire mother. "Perhaps we could stage an occurrence out of town when the time comes that will take Charlie out of town? We wouldn't have to worry about his safety if we knew he was out of the line of fire."
Jasper nodded, though he was starting to get overwhelmed. They were all looking at him to have the answers of how to defeat this army and deal with all the situations being thrown at them one after another. He didn't haveall the answers and more and more conflicts and questions kept arising. It was stressing him further and all he really wanted to do was leave. "I'm going to need some time to assess the situation," he finally said through clenched teeth. "I realize that time is something we don't have a lot of, but I.. I just need a moment to figure out how best to handle this. Carlisle, if you want to get in touch with the the wolves' leader, that might be the most important step to take first to keep them off our backs. Again, I would highly suggest limiting their knowledge for the time being. I just need a moment to absorb all of this."
Carlisle nodded. He knew this had to be very stressful and that they were putting a lot of pressure on Jasper, but he was their best chance for getting through this. "Of course, Jasper. Esme? Perhaps while I notify the leader of the wolves, you'd be good enough to start pulling contact information of some of our friends. We can work in the kitchen. And Emmett, it might be a good idea to find Rosalie before she slams every door in the house."
"Right," Emmett replied, grunting a bit before exiting after his parents.
When the doors closed and Jasper and Bella were alone, he brought a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said softly. "I'm so sorry."
There was a slight feeling of relief when Carlisle finally agreed that Bella could stay. But it was just that – slight. There was a downside to being able to stay with them as this all transpired. She would be right there to know – to see - if something happened to hurt any of them. She would see if Jasper was hurt. The thought was unbearable and yet, avoidingit would have been just as painful. It was a no-win situation that they were getting into.
When Carlisle made the suggestion of involving the wolves, Bella immediately tensed again. First, it was on account of the fact that she didn't want to put themin any danger in addition to the Cullen's – her family. Then, she remembered how strongly there was a hatred for the vampires within the pack and she knew it wouldn't be easy to convince them. But, in this, she saw an opportunity where she could have at least been of some help.
"I can help with that," she said. "I can talk to talk to them and explain the situation better," she assured them.
Bella vowed to. She knew that coming from her, the pack would be more likely to listen to the threat as opposed if it only came from Carlisle. It was only a small part, but it would make Bella feel as if she were of some use to the situation. She felt as if she could at least to make a strong attempt, despite not knowing if the wolves would agree or if it would work out in their favor.
Looking to Jasper though when he spoke told her that he was not a supporter of that idea. She saw the way his expression changed into one of malice momentarily at the mention of an alliance with the pack. But Bella's attention was drawn away by Esme when the woman put her arm around her and made a suggestion for keeping Charlie safe. Her face lit up at the idea and she nodded, grateful for Esme's thinking.
"I would appreciate that," she said. And she would. Perhaps more than anyone else could understand.
But her relief at the idea of Charlie's safety was replaced when Jasper spoke up and she could feel as well as see the tension he was struggling with. She wanted nothing more than to go to him, pull him close to her and make it easer. Bella wanted to kiss him and stroke his hair and assure him that everything would be all right, even if she knew there was a strong likelihood that it wouldn't be. When the rest of them left, though, all she did was move beside him.
Sitting on the arm of the chair he was in, she shook her head when he needlessly apologized to her. "Jasper, you have nothing to be sorry for," she assured him.
She couldn't help it and reached out to take his free hand, pulling it into her lap and covering it with both of hers. Bella didn't say anything else, but she could feel every hint of his emotions through his touch. Everything was weighing so heavily on his shoulders, so many eyes looking to him for the answers to such a seemingly impossible fate. She could feel his distress, his worry, his anxiety. There was only one thing she could do – counter all of them.
Putting aside her own worries and fears and doubts, she concentrated positive emotions at him. It wasn't exactly an easy thing to do to remain positive in such a situation, but Jasper came first. He was her first priority. He was what mattered most. And so Bella gave it a hell of a lot of effort. All she had to do was look at their fingers when she laced hers together with his. The perfect way they fit despite being so different made it so much easier to express other things – hope and more importantly, love. That was one thing that Bella knew she could do. She might not have been able to fight, but she would fight to let Jasper know every single second that she loved him.
Jasper immediately laced their fingers when she took his hand. He felt he had quite a few things to apologize for. He was sorry for Rosalie's atrocious attitude, he was sorry for not being able to hide his concern for her better which led to the family finding out about them, he was sorry for the situation in general. He was most sorry for his selfish desires to keep her here instead of enduring the hear break of sending her away to safety.
"Bella, I have plenty to be sorry for. I should have agreed with Carlisle and asked you to go back to Jacksonville. It's only because I want to be with you and protect you myself that I did not plead for you to go. I know it would hurt you too, to ask you to go so far away. I just.. I'm sorry that I'm putting my emotions before your safety."
He sighed and leaned his head against her arm, soaking in the calm she was radiating for him. It was peaceful, making him think about how much he loved her, and recalling happier moments. He was imagining they were at the beach, building sand castles. He was thinking about curling up with her on her couch while she slept in his arms. He was thinking about Gone with the Wind. None of them were things he should have been thinking about, which would have been strategies for the impending war. He just couldn't bring himself to do that right now when all he wanted to do was lose himself in her.
Jasper turned his head to kiss her arm, then brought one of her hands to his lips and kissed the back of it. "We're going to probably have to spend more time here for a while," he finally said, after a long silent moment of just savoring her sweetness and calm. "My plot maps of the city and state are here, and I'm going to have to have frequent talks with Carlisle."
Of course, that meant having time alone together was going to be very difficult to achieve. Even talking to each other would be difficult, as everyone in the house would be able to hear them without straining. "Don't worry, I'm going to include you in all the planning so you're not left in the dark about anything. I feel you have every right to know what's going on."
The problem was that with him here, it left Bella's home unguarded for a good portion of the time. He would still take Bella back at night and stay with her, but he was going to have to ask one of the family members to stay there when he couldn't be. "I should get you home," he said quietly. "It's been a long day for you, I'm sure."
"Jasper," she started. "If you're guilty of that, then I am too. I know it would probably be best for me to go back to Florida. But… I can't stand the thought of not knowing what's happening. I'm the only who is responsible for this. I'm the cause," she said, holding up a hand in case he tried to protest.
They'd had similar conversations before and it wasn't so farfetched of an idea that he would at least try to keep her from blaming herself. "Rosalie…. She was right," she said, a hint of defeat in her tone. "There is nothing I can do to help. I'm utterly useless in this situation. That said, I knowI should go back to Jacksonville and just stay out of the way. When I'm around, I seem to only make it worse." She paused, stroking a hand through his hair. "But I won't let you all fight because of me when I'm settled somewhere safely. I'm not going to do that."
Bella paused again, letting him speak. She nodded when he said they would have to spend more time at the Cullen home. It hasn't been quite as difficult as Bella had thought it would have been. One of the reasons, she guessed, was because while it was a place that was full of memories. It was not the only one. Her bedroom had been the source of many as well and yet, it was where she and Jasper spent a lot of their time together. Aside from that, she understood that it was necessary that he work where he could. She wouldn't interfere with that, nor would she protest it. She just didn't want to be left in the dark and thus, she was grateful for him telling her that he wouldn't do that to her. Hearing it aloud was reassuring and Bella trusted Jasper's word. She was sure that he would be honest with her – he always was.
"I appreciate that," she told him.
She nodded when he told her that he should be taking her back to her own house. It had been a long day, one with twists and turns that were anything but positive. She felt a little bit better knowing that (for the most part) the Cullen's were on her side about staying and doing what they could to make it happen. Rosalie, of course, was another story. But she always would be. Still, Bella felt as if she needed to confess something else.
"You know," she said, leaning her head against his and dropping her voice lower to a whisper. "You're the main reason I want to stay." And he was. "I know it's… it's selfish of me too, but the thought of being away from you…" She shook her head and trailed off, not needing to finish the statement. He would know. He would understand.
"I'm sorry if I made it a little bit obvious about the state of us," she said referring to the way her attention immediately focused on his upon the suggestion of her leaving the whole way across the country. "But… I couldn't help it. You were the first thing in my mind," she whispered against the side of his face.
She didn't know if the others in the house would be able to still hear her with their auditory skills, but this was only meant for Jasper. She kissed his temple, continuing to run her fingers through his hair a moment longer to soothe him as she finished. "I know you were expecting to be bombarded with questions about us." Her tone was apologetic, still quiet. It was better that it was no longer secretive. But Bella wasn't sure this was the best time for it to be unraveled.
It was good that she stopped him from speaking by holding up her hand, otherwise Jasper would have definitely fought her on the issue. He did not think she was the cause of this at all. It wasn't her fault that Victoria was set on revenge. She did nothing wrong or to provoke that. Furthermore, that weren't even completely certain that it was Victoria in the first place. It was highly likely that it was, but there was still the the chance that this could be a rogue vampire trying to gain power and territory. He'd never heard of it happening up north before, but with so much of the south still claimed, it made sense for vampire armies to assemble in new areas.
One thing he did protest, however, was when she said she was worthless and unable to help in the situation. "Bella, you are never worthless," he said softly, taking the hand she held up to him and kissing her knuckles. "You must not realize just how much you do for me. You're helping me now, just by sitting here with me. Your presence is just so soothing. I already feel so much more relaxed than I did before. You don't make things worse by being around. You make everything better."
Jasper turned his head towards hers and gazed at her, listening as she continued to speak. It made him feel good that she wanted to stay and had thought of him, but it also made him feel guilty. If not for him, she'd be safely on her way back to Jacksonville.
As she apologized for the revealing gaze they shared before, Jasper just shrugged his shoulders. "You were the first that came to my mind as well," he said quietly. "That's why I looked at you. It was a reflex."
He knew that no matter how hard they tried to be quiet, anyone who wasn't going out of their way to ignore them would be able to hear. He just hoped that the rest of the family was distracted, either by contact information, a bad attitude, or trying to cheer up the one with a bad attitude. Though they were out in the open with it now, Jasper didn't think it was any of their concern.
He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed softly. He loved how it felt when her fingers ran through his hair. The back of his head was especially sensitive, so when she would brush her fingers against him there, he shivered. "I'm almost glad that they know. We don't have to hide anything while we're here."
He smiled weakly, but it was a smile nonetheless. He could feel she was relived at the idea of going back to her house, so he smiled and stood up, then helped her up too. "Don't worry about any of it right now," he said softly. "It's just us, together. Nothing else, and no one, can come between that."
Author's Note: You've been wondering what the Cullens reactions to Bella and Jasper's relationship was and now you have a bit of that. Obviously, it went over better with some rather than others. The next chapter has more of Jasper and Jake's tension at an all-time high, a trip to the carousel, and Bella getting a little brave with putting the moves on Jasper along with the consequences. It'll be a good one! Stay tuned. Cheers!
Lyrics: Emilie Autumn - God Help Me