Stop and Stare

OneRepublic

….

Maya didn't know how Marisol would respond to her talking to her in public. At home they were friends, but here she was a Freshman talking to a Senior. She should know more about Katie than her best friend. But she knew Katie didn't want to destroy what she thought of her.

She always envied her big sister for being so beautiful and sure of herself. She remembered the first time she heard her throw up. She pretended it never happened. Not Katie…not her big sister. But it was so.

She hated how her sister hurt herself and how little Drew tried to help. She heard about his reputation. He was the hottest guy at Degrassi but also one who ran away. But he didn't run away from Bianca…so why Katie.

"What's on your mind sweetie?" Marisol passed her in the halls.

"Katie…I'm scared she's going to start again." Maya frowned.

"WE won't let that happen…."The senior held her hand.

"But you know how she can hide it so well…..when she gets stressed, Bianca and Drew, and her knee….."

"Her knee hasn't healed yet." Marisol asked.

"No….."

…

"Breathe Katie…." She kept repeating in her head. Her knee would get better. This was her ticket to Nationals…to college….her future as a professional. Rubbing it gently, she began to pray it would heal.

It seemed as if everything was going so well. She won class president. Drew became her boyfriend…those were only short term goals. They didn't mean that much to her as her knee. Her ability to play. She tried hiding it but the pain was unbearable. How would her parents react to this confession? Reaching in her drawer, she pulled out some Bengay…rubbing it gently on her knee. This would dull the pain for a little while longer.

…

"Katie has to be pissed about you hanging out with B like that." K.C. asked as they ate lunch.

"Why can't I have both the girlfriend and the best friend?" Drew asked sipping his drink. Katie trusted him. He had Bianca under control. Not that she was his to control…

"You can't have both." Dave stated as he watched Alli from afar. Their eyes met but she turned her head.

"Take it from someone who knows. You can't have your cake and ice cream." K.C. finished seeing Jenna pass him without speaking.

He cared for Katie, but he felt as if he was playing both sides of the fence. He knew she would understand why he and B were close. She has no one else. Now that his family understood her lifestyle, they accept her. She was finally being accepted for who she was.

….

To others fighting may seem beligerant…but to him it is an art…a stress reliever. No one knew why he did it. They didn't need to. It was his business. How could Drew be in a relationship with such a pretentious stuck up…..he wasn't going to finish the thought.

He thought his idea would be a good charity idea. Who doesn't like to see a good fight? Katie just lied so she could get her way. Walking the halls, he saw someone who could definitely get the message out…..

"Turner you got to help me get this idea out." Julian stated standing against the locker.

"It's a good idea…but you know anything I put out on air has to be approved by Student Council…"

"Katie doesn't listen…she's so….."

"Julian she isn't that bad…she just wants to be effective…." Dave said.

"Well your girlfriend is in there….see if you can…"

"We're not together anymore." He said bitterly as the bell rang.

…

"Please don't tell mom and dad about my knee." Katie asked as they got out of Marisol's car. Her best friend tried to bring it up but as always Katie dismissed the conversation.

"I won't….but you have to promise you have to see the doctor."

"I can't now…I have too much to do….college applications, homework, SC….."

"You can work on that later. You need a break…maybe if you told mom and dad about your belim….."

"They wouldn't understand…they would just keep preaching about how pain is weakness leaving the pain." She cried as Maya tried to hug her.

"Don't hug me….." Katie walked to her room. Maya hated how her sister closed her off like this.

…

Alli began tying up loose ends in the office. Where was Sav when she needed him? Phone calls helped but she missed her brother. What would he say if she told him Dave hooked up with another girl? What would he say if she told him she kissed Clare's boyfriend?

She and Dave were just alike. They couldn't live with or without each other. They kept making mistakes. One step forward…two steps back. It wasn't as if hearing his voice on the radio helped…or seeing him in the lunchroom…his eyes…his….ughhhhhhhhhh

She missed…..

"Hey Alli, Katie left without me." Drew said simply.

"Yeah…sorry….she has been a little bit off lately."

"I know…I've been trying to help…I call, she won't answer." Drew said with defeat.

"Make her listen…and stop choosing Bianca over her….." Alli stated.

…..

"Katie…..our friend Mr. Chandler believes he can get you a free scholarship at Banting University. Isn't that wonderful?" Her mother walked into her bedroom.

"Are you sick sweetie?" The business woman sat on her bed.

"I'm just overwhelmed…."Katie began as she sit up..

"Katie life is all about priority and balance. You must learn these skills."

"Sure mom…."She held back tears as her mother dismissed her.

…

Dave knew she had nothing to say to him as he walked in the room. How could he let that one girl mess up the one and only girl he ever wanted…always will want. He worked so hard to assure her and he tossed it away. He wished he could take back that night….that drunken night.

She continued to ignore him as he tried to explain himself.

"Look I'm sorry ok…it was a mistake. I love you." Alli cried at his words.

"How dare you say that? You gave that girl something you can never get back….."

"Isn't that how you felt about Johnny?" Dave asked.

"Don't you dare turn this on me!" She cried

"I'm not…but I'm coming to you as a man telling you I miss you. I will do anything to make it up to you. I want you. Please give me another…."

"No…..I'm done giving second chances." She said looking at him for him to leave…and he did.
…

Maya was going to help her sister. This was breaking Katie…and she didn't want to admit it. It was not in Katie's nature to do so. Walking in her room, she found her laying on the bed crying. Taking off her shoes, she laid on the bed cradling her sister….giving her the comfort she needed.