DISCLAIMER: Pretty Little Liars and all its characters will never ever be mine. All characters in this fanfic except for maybe four belong to PLL. A few events in this fanfic were borrowed from the storyline of the PLL TV series. Since I never read the books and mostly focus on PAILY stuff when watching PLL, I have no clear idea about 'A' and their motives for torturing the Liars. That said the motives of the 'A'-team in this fanfic are entirely of my own creation.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the lengthy version of what this fanfic is all about, please refer to the Author's Note in the first two chapters.
~To everyone who took the time to post their reviews about each chapter, THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOUR WORDS OF PRAISE ABOUT MY WRITING AND STORY CONCEPT ARE SO AWESOME. I am extremely overwhelmed. Thanks for saying I should write a book… those are some serious words of praise considering I mostly deal with math stuff in my line of work. LOL. Again, I apologize if I only post one chapter each week. I'm kinda meticulous about details so I refuse to post a new chapter unless I am absolutely sure that the contents of said chapter meshes with what I've posted so far.~
~Most of you are starting to have mixed feelings about the whole Dani/Paige relationship and I can't help but be flattered that some of you are actually rooting for Paige and Dani to become more than friends for a little while… that means my portrayal of Dani's character is working. But you guys may have to wait for quite a bit about the whole Dani-Paige-Emily thing. That would slowly unfold in Chapter 8 and continue on to Chapters 9 and 10, which I am about to start writing as we speak. I think it wouldn't be fair if I just wrote of Paige's side of the story in the years she and Emily were apart so this chapter will focus on Emily's this time.~
~Like I said, don't you guys worry, this is a PAILY fanfic… they're bound to get back together eventually, but timing is everything and right now they still have a few issues to work out. I promise they'll get back together way before the last chapter. This story will be done a few days before 3b starts so the chapters are going to be quite lengthy. Thanks for taking the time to read my fanfic and following it.~
~To celthag and Rissalynn24: I kinda see myself in Paige and Dani actually. Due to certain events that transpired which led to that moment, I met this girl a long time ago and I fell in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her. But I chose to be her best friend instead. I didn't say anything for a decade. When I finally decided to pour my heart out to her in a letter (yes, I am that shy), unlike the Paige in my story who was so cool about it when she found out about Dani's feelings, my friend actually stopped talking to me. I guess our friendship just hit its expiration date. So, so awesome. The greatest friend a person could ask for. If I sound bitter just now it's probably because at the back of my mind I still am. LOL.~
~To shokoshik: I was actually reading As We Were but then I started writing so the time I used to spend reading fics on this site went to that instead. I stopped reading the PAILY fics in this site for now… but I promise I will resume reading yours once I finish this story.~
Chapter 7: Because You Left…
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." – Marcus Aurelius
Emily watched miserably as Paige entered the motel room she shared with Dani, her vision immediately blurred by the tears she was keeping at bay the entire drive back to Rosewood once Paige closed the door. The simple act of Paige shutting the door behind her seemed to bode of finality. Emily looked at the hand she held on to Paige's the entire drive home and choked back a sob. It's over. For real. It shouldn't devastate her this much. Considering they haven't seen each other for two years, she should have gotten used to the distance that separated them back then. But this time it was different. The coming days would be worse. Because this time, the distance that would separate them wasn't in terms of miles or kilometers anymore. She felt her throat constrict at the thought of seeing Paige but not being able to touch her. Of having to watch as she falls harder for Dani with each passing day when Paige promised that Emily was the only one for her.
Emily, I'm yours. The memory of when Paige uttered those words to her, humbly, sincerely, emphatically, came to her so suddenly she held her hand to her chest. When Emily was so consumed with jealousy after she met Dani, instead of dismissing it, Paige held her close and said that while she loved seeing Emily get jealous when it came to her, she didn't want to make Emily feel that way again. She wanted Emily to always know that she had nothing to worry about. How am I supposed to let her go? She let out a sob. She missed Paige already.
It still felt surreal. After dating on and off for almost a year, trying to deny how she really felt, she finally stopped struggling and let herself fall in love with Paige. But not entirely. It still terrified her. For some reason it still terrified her to completely surrender to the love Paige has for her. Because doing so would mean making herself completely vulnerable as well.
Emily didn't want to admit it but she got so used to walking in and out of Paige's life in the past because she knew that Paige wasn't going anywhere. All this time Paige has been her constant too. She should have found solace in that thought, but unlike Paige who firmly believed that Emily is the one thing she was certain of in her life, Emily believed that nothing is certain so when she finally admitted how she really felt, the doubts began to surface. What if Paige stopped loving me? What am I going to do then? Still, she found herself holding on fervently to that love. Now that things appeared to be over between them, she still can't seem to find a way to let it go. Even while Paige was gone, and now that she's back for good, she was still desperately holding on.
"You might not have a choice." Hanna said, handing Emily an envelope. "I'm sorry Em. She's gone." She said softly.
The words reverberated in Emily's mind but she couldn't understand what it meant. She was hyperventilating. The next thing she knew she was on her knees on the concrete pavement in front of Paige's house. She felt the sting telling her she scraped her knees but it was nothing compared to the anguish she was feeling right now. Paige is gone. She really left me. She felt numb all of a sudden. She looked at the letter in her hands and saw that her name which was neatly scrawled in Paige's handwriting in front of the envelope was now tear-stained. She didn't realize she was crying. She took a deep, shaky breath in an effort to try and control her breathing before slowly standing up. I have to get out of here. I have to find her. She hurriedly made her way past her friends towards her car, her progress hindered by the tears that still blurred her eyes. Don't leave without me, please. Don't leave. She got into her car and was about to start it when she felt hands holding her back. She looked up and saw Spencer seating beside her.
"Em." Spencer said gently, tears falling from her friend's eyes.
Emily let out a sob and held her hand to her chest, finally crying in agony as Spencer wordlessly pulled her close.
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Dearest Em,
Please don't be mad but I had to leave without you. It's not because I don't love you anymore because you know I will always do. It's not because I blame you because I don't. None of this was your fault so please stop blaming yourself. There's only so much we can be accountable for in the events that happened that brought us here. I have to do this on my own. To find the people that caused us so much pain and suffering that we became mere shadows of whom we once used to be. As much as I want you by my side, it's not right to take you away from everything and everyone you love. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. You barely recognize the person I've become and I know that a part of you is terrified for me. I know that's one reason why you want to go.
So I had to leave this way. Because I know how much you love me, what you are willing to do for me. That you would walk away from everything you once knew if it meant being with me. As much as I love knowing and hearing you say that, I cannot be selfish with you. I don't want our relationship to be seen as something that causes damage and pain and suffering to others when it has been nothing but beautiful and pure. I don't want you to give up your friends, your family, and your life just to be with me. We can't be selfish. I've put you through enough. I want you to start living your life again because I don't want to keep holding you back. So live the life you once had before all of this madness. Please try for me. Eventually we WILL find a way to be together again. I am not ready to give up on us. It's just right now we have to do things this way.
I will call you when I can. I just can't tell you where I'm going because I'm not certain of it myself. I promise I'll be back someday and if that time comes and you still want me, I am yours.
Whatever happens, YOU are my constant.
I love you Emily Fields. Always have, always will.
Paige
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Emily touched Paige's name wistfully and choked back a sob. Her throat felt raw and her eyes were puffy but she still somehow can't stop the tears from coming. Back when she was crying uncontrollably in front of Paige's house, she thought she was spent when she finally calmed down. Her friends let her read Paige's letter in private and were against leaving her but she told them she needed to be alone. She drove aimlessly after she left Paige's house and eventually found herself standing on their spot at the marina, looking out into the open waters. She had been rereading the letter Paige wrote to her for the past hour, still reeling from the reality that Paige is gone. What am I going to do? She thought miserably as she leaned her head forlornly on one of the wooden posts supporting the barriers that lined the boardwalk. She felt her throat constrict and sensed a fresh wave of tears that threatened to spill just thinking about waking up tomorrow and the days soon after, knowing she wasn't going to see Paige, not even during the weekends like she used to when Paige was in Radnor. How could I have ever been confused about her coming back for good? She never thought Paige would walk away from her and now she felt so lost.
Paige. How am I supposed to live the life I once had when you're the biggest part of it? She thought as she closed her eyes and let the tears fall again. Just please keep your promise and come back to me. I'll wait however long it takes. Just like you patiently waited for me all those years. I'll wait. Starting now. She opened her eyes and wiped her tears, then pushed herself off the post, staring at it pensively for a second before taking out a set of keys from her pocket. Using one, she patiently etched a vertical line on the post. That's one.
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…We're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again…
Emily dejectedly lowered the phone she held to her ear and stared at it for a while before finally ending the call. She barely slept a wink since Paige left last night. It was almost 3 am when she finally cried herself to sleep but she woke up even before her alarm sounded at 5. For a moment, she just laid in her bed, unmoving, just staring at the ceiling, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness. She knew it was a longshot but she decided to try and call Paige's number. Disconnected. Just like them. She turned to her side and her eyes fell on the photo on her bedside table. A fresh wave of tears threatened to spill from her eyes at the sight of it but she resisted the urge to cry. When her alarm finally sounded, she slowly hit the snooze button and sat up. Looking at her phone once again, she willed it to ring. Paige always called her at this time. She was her first and last call of the day. But it didn't ring. With a sob, she accessed her voicemail instead.
Rise and shine babe! Sorry I'm leaving a voicemail instead of calling you today. I had a really busy day yesterday and I just got home. But it was definitely worth it. It's now 4 in the morning and I'm kinda beat so I don't think I'll be able to call you at 5. Sorry. Won't happen again. Anyway, before you start your day I just want to say I love you and that you're so, so, breathtakingly beautiful. And in case you have a bad day, I just wanna say I love you again. I love you. I am so in love with you Emily Fields. Just a few reminders. Look before you cross the street okay? And watch out for glass doors! I won't see you until after your shift at the Brew and I kinda want to see my girlfriend still in one piece. So please take good care of yourself. And don't work yourself too hard. Save some of your energy for our trip because I have a surprise for you later. But until then, try to have an awesome day!
Emily found herself smiling wistfully at the sound of Paige's voice while looking at the ring she had on her finger. We're not engaged anymore so why am I still wearing this? Her vision suddenly blurred and the tears she thought she was able to hold back just minutes ago came in waves. I don't want to let her go. She answered her own question brokenly. She wrapped her arms around herself and curled up in her bed, her body racked with sobs. She didn't have the strength to do anything else and she found herself playing the message again and again.
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For the first few days that Paige was gone, Emily tried to do what Paige asked of her. Live the life she once had. Like nothing changed, she continued to focus on her classes and on her swimming. She put in extra shifts at the Brew and tried putting on a brave face in front of her friends. But the reality that Paige was gone caught up to her once again and all of a sudden, she couldn't bring herself to care about her classes, swimming, or work anymore. All of these things seemed insignificant and mundane without Paige. She wanted everything to stop until Paige finally came back. One day, she decided to write Paige a letter. And then the next day she wrote another one. Until she had five letters in a box she kept on the drawer of her bedside table. Five letters but the contents are all the same. She couldn't stop writing. Just like she couldn't stop counting the days until Paige finally returned to her.
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It was a Sunday night and as per usual, Emily was lying on her bed, staring longingly at the photo on her bedside table when her phone rang. She let it ring for a moment before she finally grabbed it and answered the call, never taking her eyes off Paige.
"Hello." Emily said distractedly.
"Hey gorgeous." The voice on the other end of the line made Emily sit upright on her bed. That voice. She thought, her heart pounding wildly, her breathing becoming ragged. She knew that voice by heart. She didn't think she'd ever hear it again, but she was too terrified to hope.
"Please tell me this isn't a prank call." Emily's voice caught in her throat and she hurriedly moved to turn on her bedside lamp.
"No. It's not. It's me." Paige's voice came on again from the other end of the line and Emily smiled widely, looking once again at their photo.
"Paige!" Emily squealed, the overwhelming happiness she was feeling evident in her voice. She was grinning from ear to ear, her heartbeat was racing, her palms were sweating and she was getting butterflies in her stomach. It was like she was falling in love all over again.
"I take it you're not mad. I thought you were going to be mad." Paige said softly. "For me leaving you like that. I'm so sorry."
Emily vehemently shook her head and remembered that Paige couldn't see her. "No. Well I wasn't exactly happy with the way you left but… the letter. Your letter made me get it." Emily said quietly. "I miss you." She whispered, tears starting to form in her eyes.
"I miss you too." Paige said breathlessly, making Emily curl into a fetal position as she lay down on her bed once again and faced the photo, imagining Paige is right in front of her.
"Where are you? How's the search going?" Emily asked softly as she continued to stare at the Paige in the photo.
"I can't tell you and slow." Paige replied. "But I don't want to talk about that. Tell me about your day." Paige said, making Emily smile wistfully.
I can't let her worry. "Well I don't think I have to tell you how it just got a whole lot better." She laughed but felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She wiped them away hastily. "Well let's see, I pretty much stayed at home the whole day and I wasn't really in the mood to do anything so I just watched Rudy three times…" She crossed her fingers as she said this. It was really five. Emily thought.
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"I need to go. I'm about to run out of minutes." Emily heard the reluctance in Paige's voice. They've been talking on the phone for almost half an hour but it wasn't enough. She didn't want to stop talking to Paige.
"Will you call me again tomorrow?" Emily asked Paige hopefully, trying to let Paige know she doesn't want to lose touch with her again.
"I don't know." Paige teased, making Emily bite her lower lip anxiously. "Let's make a deal. Promise me you won't watch Rudy again and I'll call you." Paige said, knowing fully well why Emily watched Rudy. "I don't want you to be sad Em."
The sound of her nickname coming from Paige's lips brought a pang of sorrow to her. "Then come back to me already." Emily whispered sadly. Please. She begged silently.
"I can't. Not yet. Just promise me you'll try. Please." Paige said to her pleadingly.
Emily touched Paige's face on the photo and smiled sadly. "Okay. Promise to call me and I won't watch Rudy." Emily said after a beat.
"No gorgeous. Promise me you won't watch Rudy and I'll call you tomorrow. Not the other way around." Paige said.
"How will you know if I keep my end of the deal?" She asked, trying to find a way to prolong their conversation.
"I trust you." Paige said sincerely.
Those words struck a chord. She is suddenly reminded that Paige still doesn't know about what she did. "Okay I won't watch Rudy anymore." Emily said quickly, hoping somehow she was redeeming herself in Paige's eyes.
"Then I'll call you tomorrow." Paige promised. "And don't tell anyone I called you." She added.
Emily nodded enthusiastically. She won't tell anyone if it meant Paige will never stop calling her. "Okay. It's our secret." Emily said. This was it. They were about to hang up. She needed to say it. "Paige…" Emily started.
"I know. Me too." Paige whispered, finally ending the call.
"I love you Paige." She whispered fervently into the empty room that not so long ago was filled with her cheerful voice. She got up and turned off her bedside lamp and then lied down once again. She could barely make out the photo in the darkness but she knew where it was. She stared at it until sleep overcame her, but unlike the past few days where she dreaded opening her eyes, she was suddenly looking forward to waking up tomorrow.
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After that call, Emily's friends noticed the abrupt change in her behavior in the weeks that followed. She started attending her classes and going to swim practice again and went back to work at the Brew. She even started taking cooking classes. Not that they were complaining but they wanted to know what caused this sudden change in her behavior and why she was always in a hurry to get home at night. Knowing she promised to keep Paige's late night calls a secret, she just said she woke up one day and realized that she didn't want Paige to worry so she's going to try to make it until Paige comes back like she promised. Her friends were unconvinced with the reason she gave but decided not to push the issue further. What was important is that Emily was slowly recovering.
But for Emily it was trying once again to do what Paige asked of her. Live the life she once had. She didn't want to lie to Paige about anything anymore. She tried to go back to the life she led before the accident so when Paige called and asked her about her day, she could be honest with her. If she still can't muster the courage to come clean about the cheating, the least she could do was stop lying about everything else. And she was doing it well, that is, until Tara came into the picture once again.
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A week after Emily returned to work at the Brew, she was surprised when Kevin asked her to train Tara. The last thing she wanted was to work side by side with the person who would constantly remind her of her second indiscretion. But she had no choice. Unless she somehow found a way to own the Brew, she had no control over who they hire. She knows Tara is very much interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her and now that Paige is gone, Tara saw it as a sign that the way is clear. When Spencer stopped by one afternoon to see if she could convince Emily to have dinner with them later instead of hurrying home like she always does, she pointed out the obvious to Emily that her co-worker is practically drooling all over her. Emily dismissed it and said she will never be interested in anyone else but Spencer insisted she start looking saying Paige made it clear they were broken up for now so there's nothing wrong with entering into another relationship.
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"You know, I'm pretty sure that can be considered as vandalism." Emily was so startled to hear Tara's voice so close to her ear that she dropped her keys. Before Emily could recover, the other girl was quick to lean down and grab the keys, giving her a mischievous grin while handing it back. "Don't worry. It'll be one of our secrets as well." Tara whispered conspiratorially.
Emily took the keys and pocketed it quickly without looking at Tara. "Thanks." She said, not bothering to elaborate that she was merely thanking the other girl for picking up her keys.
"No problem." Tara said, walking a few steps to stand in front of Emily so that the other girl had no choice but to look at her. "And let me just state for the record, before you start accusing me again, that I wasn't following you. I just had dinner with a friend and was on my way home when I saw you tarnishing this post right here." She said, inclining her head to the direction of the post. "You must really miss her. This right here is your spot isn't it?"
Emily nodded and started walking towards the parking lot. She needed to get home because she wanted to talk to Paige in her bedroom where she could stare at their photo so she could pretend Paige is right in front of her the whole time. Tara followed her close behind.
"I've been meaning to ask you something." Tara said as she walked beside Emily. "I was kind of surprised to see you on my first day at the Brew. The last time I saw you, you almost tore off my arm in your haste to go home to pack your bags because you said you and Paige were leaving Rosewood." She said.
"What's your question?" Emily asked impatiently as she reached for the door handle on the driver's side of her car and paused to look at Tara.
"What happened?" Tara asked gently.
"Isn't it obvious? She left without me." Emily said bitingly. "Sorry." She said immediately, knowing Tara didn't deserve the way she was speaking to her right now.
Tara shook her head. "It's cool. I shouldn't have asked. I should have known the matter was still taboo." She said apologetically. "I just didn't think she would leave you behind, that's why I was confused. I mean she asked you to come with her right?"
Emily felt her face redden and she avoided Tara's gaze. She didn't have to say anything. The other girl knew the answer.
"Oh." Tara said softly. She cleared her throat after a beat. "Well this is awkward." She said weakly.
Emily shook her head. "It's okay. She gave me a letter explaining why she had to leave me behind. I'm not mad at her." She said softly as she opened the door and got in.
"I guess I'll see you at work then." Tara said, taking the hint that Emily didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Goodnight." She said before giving Emily a small wave and turning her back to her.
"Goodnight." Emily said as she closed the door and put the keys in the ignition to start her car. But it wouldn't. "Oh come on, not again." She said as she struggled to start her car. Her car hasn't acted up like this since the day of the accident. She sighed. The last thing she needed was this. She needed to call Triple A again but first she had to find a ride home. She looked at the retreating form of Tara and hurriedly got out of the car to try and catch up to her. "Hey." She said timidly as she touched Tara's shoulder, making the other girl turn around in surprise. "Listen, I hate to ask but I'm having car trouble. It won't start and I really need to get home right now. Can I get a lift?"
"What's wrong with your car?" Tara asked, concerned.
"I don't know. I think it's acting up again." Emily said while looking at her watch. "Please?" She asked the girl urgently.
Tara looked at her for a moment and then cleared her throat nervously. "Uh, yeah, sure. I can give you a ride if you're in a hurry. My car's this way." She said as she started to move once again towards the direction of her car.
"Thanks." Emily said appreciatively. "But can you wait for a few minutes? I need to ask someone from the marina to call Triple A, have them take a look at it." She said gingerly. "I won't be long. I promise."
"Sure. I'll just stay right here." Tara said as she shrugged. "I'm not in a hurry anyway." She assured her.
"Thank you so much." Emily said, relief evident in her voice as she turned towards the direction of the front desk and broke into a run.
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"I really can't thank you enough." Emily said gratefully as she and Tara walked the rest of the way home. They were almost near Emily's house when the clutch of Tara's car started to malfunction and she had trouble shifting gears. She had no choice but to stop fearing she could cause an accident or worse get into one. After saying that she would call Triple A later, Tara offered to walk her home the rest of way and Emily felt the need to let her since she didn't want to just dismiss Tara after the girl went to the trouble of driving her home.
Tara shook her head. "No need to thank me. I'm so embarrassed about the whole thing actually. I offered to drive you home and my stupid car chose this time to humiliate me. I'm so sorry." She said sheepishly.
Emily gave her a small smile. "You don't have to be so embarrassed about it. Seriously, I can't thank you enough." She said as she stopped in front of her house and faced the girl. "This is me." She said quietly.
"Right." Tara said, suddenly at a loss as to what to do next. "Well, I'll wait until you get inside. Just to be sure you actually get home this time." She said shyly.
"Thanks again." Emily said, nodding her head once and hurriedly making her way inside, the brown-haired girl instantly forgotten at the thought that Paige was going to call her any minute now.
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After the first night that Tara walked her home, the girl started to do it on a daily basis, insisting she was trying to make up for the incident she dubbed as "The Night That Chivalry Failed." Emily was uncomfortable about the whole thing at first but as the days passed, she found herself gradually looking forward to their walks home. She started opening up to Tara and eventually became comfortable around her because of the sweetness that the girl seemed to effortlessly exude. What started as uncomfortable walks turned into easy banters, the distance between their bodies getting smaller until Emily found herself brushing shoulders with Tara as the girl walked her home every night. It also didn't hurt to have the same taste in music and she and Tara started spending time together outside of work, checking out music scenes and gigs in and out of Rosewood.
"Emily Fields as I live and breathe." A surprised voice behind her made Emily and Tara turn around. "Good to know Paige's departure didn't affect your social life." CeCe Drake said in greeting as she approached Emily and gave her a hug.
"CeCe. What are you doing here?" Emily asked in surprise as she hugged the blonde girl back. She and Tara were at one of the bars they frequent in front of the marina. Emily liked the place because it was low-key and the people who frequent it are mostly there to have their music discovered. She liked being around people who are trying to make something of themselves as it reminded her to keep trying for Paige.
"Meeting a friend." CeCe said before shifting her attention to the girl standing beside Emily. "We haven't met. I'm CeCe. You could say I'm a friend of Emily's." She said while extending her hand to Tara and smiling.
"Tara." Tara said as she took CeCe's hand and shook it, smiling as well. "I'll get us seats." She said to Emily when she saw that the girl seemed uncomfortable with the situation.
Emily nodded her head gratefully before turning her attention back to CeCe. "I haven't seen you around much." She said, trying to start a different topic of conversation. She didn't like the way CeCe's eyes followed Tara before looking at her again.
"Yeah, I've been busy with more important stuff lately but I'm still checking in with my assistant at the boutique every chance I get." CeCe said before grinning mischievously. "I have to say, I'm glad to see that you're adjusting well after everything that's happened. Your new girlfriend is gorgeous and seems amazing, not to mention she seems to have her act together. Ali would definitely approve." She said, nodding her head.
"She's not my girlfriend." Emily said hurriedly. "We're just friends."
"Really. Could've fooled me. You look good together. Paige isn't around anymore so what's holding you back?" CeCe asked in a tone that said she didn't believe a word Emily just said.
"Paige is coming back." Emily said firmly. "Tara and I are just friends." She insisted.
"Got it." CeCe said, searching for an empty spot before looking at Emily once again. "But nobody said you can't have fun while you're waiting. And from the looks of it, you already are. So stop denying it." She said amusedly before making her way to the empty table she saw earlier.
Emily pondered CeCe's words and looked at Tara who was gesturing for her to come over to the booth she got for them. She took one look at the ring on her finger and felt sick. What am I doing? Suddenly hit with a wave of nausea, she turned her back to Tara and hurriedly made her way towards the exit.
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Paige's calls started getting less frequent but Emily figured she was just busy finding leads. She didn't have the courage to ask Paige why she wasn't calling her every night like she used to, afraid that Paige will pull further away. Whenever Paige called, she refused to talk about what she was doing and anything that was 'A' related. She just wanted to talk about Emily's day. Emily didn't know why but she felt the need to keep the existence of Tara a secret to Paige. Gradually, she found herself lying again. Whenever she told Paige about her day, she always conveniently forgot to mention Tara.
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"So. Your co-worker. Any plans on taking it to the next level?" Spencer asked out of the blue while they were having lunch at a café near Emily's school campus.
Emily had a free hour before her next class when Spencer suddenly showed up and demanded they have lunch, telling her since she was always in such a hurry to get home every night, she figured the only time she could share a meal with her friend was either breakfast or lunch.
"What do you mean?" Emily asked, confused.
"I mean are you going to give the poor girl a shot or finally tell her to get lost." Spencer explained, shaking her head. "Seriously Em, you should start thinking about how you really feel about this girl. There's only so much she could take from all the mixed signals she's getting from you."
"I'm not sending her any signal Spence." Emily said while taking a bite from her veggie burger.
"Please. You're letting her walk you home every night. Even Paige thinks there's something going on." Spencer cringed inwardly at her Freudian slip.
"What do you mean?" Emily asked, suspicious.
"I meant if Paige saw you two together she would think something is going on. The distance or should I say lack thereof between you two when she walks you home speaks volumes." Spencer said hurriedly.
Emily sighed. "Why are you so adamant that I start something with Tara?" She asked as she put down her burger, having lost her appetite.
"Paige is gone Emily. I know you don't want to hear it but she's gone. Maybe she's coming back, maybe she's not." Emily's eyes widened at Spencer's words. "Okay so she's coming back." Spencer said hurriedly. "But you don't know when and right now there's this girl who is so smitten with you she can't even figure out how to hide her feelings. There's nothing wrong with giving her a shot at making you smile again. I know that's what Paige would want as well." She said gently.
"I made the mistake of thinking of letting go of Paige once. I won't do it again." Emily said quietly. "I like spending time with Tara but that's all there is to it."
"So basically you're just going to lead her on." Spencer stated incredulously.
"I'm not leading her on. She knows where we stand." Emily argued.
"Em, Paige walked away from you and chose to pursue a hunch. A hunch. She walked away from something that was certain for something that wasn't. You need to start moving forward with your life." Spencer insisted.
Emily stood up, ready to leave. "I am moving forward. What do you think have I been doing all this time?" Emily asked defensively.
"Getting by." Spencer said quietly. "You're not living Em. You're just getting by. You still wear that ring on your finger when we both know you and Paige aren't engaged anymore." She said gently.
Emily felt herself starting to tear up. She had to get out of there. "I'm late for my class." Emily said as she moved to get her wallet from her bag to pay for her lunch.
"I got this." Spencer said. "I'm sorry I upset you." She said apologetically. "I'm just really worried about you."
Emily nodded. "I know. And I appreciate it. But please don't push me to be with Tara. It's not right." She said quietly, not telling Spencer the real reason why she doesn't want to get involved with Tara romantically. "Thanks for lunch." She said before turning her back to her friend and walking out the door.
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As the days passed, Paige's calls became so rare that Emily found herself staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning every day in the hopes that Paige would call but she never does. If she did it was only once and she still can't seem to find the nerve to ask Paige why she wasn't calling as often as she did, fearing it might drive her away entirely. She tried not to show her friends that something was bothering her. She promised Paige she would keep her calls a secret and she intended to keep that promise even if she wasn't calling her every night like she used to.
When the day of her birthday came around, she woke up saying to herself that today was going to be a good day. She knew she shouldn't hope but Paige wouldn't disappoint her today. She was going to call.
Her friends wanted to have a simple dinner at her house that night to celebrate and she agreed to it, figuring if Paige called, she would just excuse herself to go to her room to talk to her. It was only 7 pm and her friends weren't supposed to arrive until 8 so she decided to sit on the front porch, her thoughts automatically drifting to Paige, when Tara showed up suddenly. To Emily's annoyance, Tara said a friend of hers came by the Brew earlier and mentioned that it was Emily's birthday, profusely apologizing for dropping by unannounced. Making a mental note to yell at Spencer later for meddling, Emily told Tara it was fine and lied, saying she could use the company while waiting for her friends so Tara joined her on the front porch.
"Since you're here, I want to apologize for running out on you at the bar last week. I wasn't feeling well and I had to leave." Emily said, knowing her explanation was feeble.
Tara smiled understandingly. "Emily, it's okay. You don't have to lie. I saw your face when we ran into that friend of yours. You were terrified." She said, somehow putting into words what Emily couldn't bring herself to say. "You and I have been spending time together without the knowledge of your friends and I think running into one of them that night made you feel as if you have to start explaining to them why you're with me."
"I just don't want them to make a big deal out of it." Emily finally admitted. "I do like spending time with you, but…"
"That's all there is to it. I know the drill." Tara said reluctantly, finishing Emily's sentence for her. She looked at Emily for a moment before sitting closer to her. "Can I ask you something?" She asked quietly.
Emily nodded distractedly, her eyes focused on the night sky, hoping Paige would call her any minute now.
"Why didn't you tell Paige about the kiss?" She asked carefully. "I mean, I know you're scared she might end things between you two but, you didn't tell her and she still left."
Emily continued looking at the sky while she answered Tara. "I couldn't tell her because I kissed someone else before you while we were still together. It wasn't the first time that I cheated on her." She said quietly. "It was right here, on this porch, that I consoled in the worst possible way someone I thought I knew. He kissed me and I kissed him back."
"He?" Tara asked, confused.
Emily nodded, suddenly embarrassed. "He was my ex-girlfriend's cousin, or rather, he pretended to be her cousin but he was actually her stalker. He told me his name was Nate, but it was actually Lyndon." She explained.
Tara nodded thoughtfully. "But… you confessed to Paige about that kiss." She said gently.
Emily nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah. It took a few days but I finally found the courage to tell her. I thought she was going to be mad and that she was going to break up with me, but she didn't. She forgave me right there and then." She said, thinking she would give anything just to have Paige beside her right now. I miss her so much. She thought as she crossed her arms tightly in front of her chest, suddenly feeling extremely lonely.
"You don't think she could forgive you if you told her about our kiss?" Tara asked quietly.
Emily shrugged. "I don't know. But I don't want to risk it this time. Our situation is complicated enough as it is. If I tell her now she might not come back." She said quietly.
"But if she comes back, will you tell her then?" Tara asked gently. When Emily didn't say anything, she decided to ask something else. "Why did she leave anyway?" Tara inquired.
"She wanted to find answers." Emily said vaguely, not wanting to tell Tara anything more about Paige's life.
"I didn't mean to make you so sad today." Tara said apologetically, noticing the sudden change in Emily's mood.
Emily shook her head. "It's fine. But can we please talk about something else?" She asked.
"Sure." Tara said lightly. "Actually I wanted to tell you something, that's why I came by." She said in a voice that was suddenly so nervous that Emily briefly looked at her quizzically.
"What is it?" Emily asked, her brows furrowed.
Tara took a deep breath. "I want to come clean about something. I realized I had to when you ran out on me last week. You see, I lied." She began. "When I said the only reason I was at the Brew was because I needed the job and I used to be a barista." She swallowed nervously. "I don't know if you know this but if you like someone, proximity is a good thing. And it's been pretty obvious for quite some time that I like you, like, really like you and I've been racking my brain for a way to ask you to give us a shot." She said hurriedly.
"Tara…" Emily began, about to tell her that she doesn't want to be more than friends.
"I know, I know. You don't feel the same way. Or you probably do but you don't want to do anything about it because you think it's wrong to be with me when I was the girl you cheated with." Tara said hastily. "But here's the thing, I don't regret kissing you that day and I will never think that it was a mistake. I wish you would stop seeing me that way." She said honestly. "I don't think it's fair that I will always be seen as the girl you cheated with when I care about you so much."
She took a deep breath and sighed dejectedly. "I know I'll never be Paige, maybe that's a bad thing, or maybe it's a good thing. I don't know. But one thing I know for sure is that it's Paige's loss." Tara continued sincerely. "I just want you to give me, give us, a shot because I can't just sit and watch idly while you punish yourself for kissing me back when to me that kiss meant everything. It doesn't feel wrong."
"I don't always see you as the girl I cheated with." Emily admitted while she looked at the night sky again. "At least not anymore. Lately you've been so sweet and good to me and I wish I could tell you I feel the same way. But I don't want to lie. Maybe someday. But not now. Because right now all I can think about is…"
"Someday is good enough for me." Tara interrupted, smiling widely and before Emily knew it Tara's lips were on hers again.
Stop being so nice to me. She thought as Tara kissed her. Don't be nice. She thought as she closed her eyes and suddenly cupped Tara's face to deepen the kiss. Please don't be nice. She thought as tears fell from her eyes. I don't want to hurt you. But she can't help it. In her loneliness and pain she can't help it. Paige. If I don't open my eyes I could pretend I'm kissing Paige.
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Seeing that their second kiss somehow upset her, Tara decided to leave and let Emily figure things out, apologizing for her impulsive behavior. Her friends noticed immediately how upset Emily is the moment they arrived and Hanna made the mistake of stating out loud that Paige was wrong into thinking that after tonight Emily would smile her real smile again, saying Emily looked anything but happy on her birthday. When Emily asked what she meant by it, Hanna was quick to cover her mistake by saying Paige said something along those lines before leaving and quickly handed her a small box with a bow on top, saying Paige gave it to her before she left and told her to give it to Emily on her birthday.
Because Emily's friends had no idea that she had been talking to Paige every night up until a few weeks ago, they couldn't understand why Emily looked so miserable when she took the gift. She couldn't tell them that the fact that Paige didn't even bother to call her tonight and that she had given Hanna the gift before she even left Rosewood were clear indications that after tonight she wouldn't hear from Paige again. She couldn't bring herself to open Paige's gift, terrified to see what was inside. She was reeling from the realization that Paige was somehow saying goodbye and she felt like the ground she was standing on was just violently ripped from underneath her and she was free-falling helplessly.
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"Hey guys. It's me again." Emily said softly as she sat in front of the graves of Paige's parents, hugging her knees to her chest.
She had been coming to the cemetery for months now, finding solace in the company of Paige's dead parents. It may seem morbid to others but aside from their spot at the marina, this was the only place she felt close to Paige. She talked to them for hours, telling them of her day and how their daughter was doing. But now she needed to talk to them because she couldn't talk to anyone else about what was bothering her. Even if she was surrounded by friends and a girl who seems to genuinely care for her, she still felt alone.
"I, uh, brought you a bouquet of your favorite flower Mrs. McCullers." She said as she placed the red tulips gently on top of Paige's mom's grave.
"So, your daughter stopped calling me." She said sadly. "Just like that. She stopped calling." She said as she wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. "I'm sorry I can't assure you guys that she's okay because I don't know if she is. I guess I just broke my promise that I would take care of her for you. I'm so sorry." She said quietly. "I thought I could save her like she saved me from the loneliness and the darkness that I felt when Maya was taken from me. But I guess she doesn't need me for that." She sighed before smiling wryly. "I don't know if I should be glad about that or hurt. That she's such a strong person that she doesn't need me or that she's such a strong person… that she doesn't need me. You get what I'm trying to say right?"
"I have to tell you guys something." She started playing with the grass, suddenly ashamed. "I cheated on your daughter before she left." She began. "This was the second time and while she forgave me the first time, I don't think she will if I told her about this one." She bit her lower lip nervously. "I'm sorry if it seems like I keep hurting your daughter when she has done nothing but love me unconditionally. I had a brief moment of doubt when she went to Radnor and I almost gave up on us, but even if she wasn't with me, Paige somehow reminded me that I am the constant in her life."
Emily took a deep breath. "I miss her so, so much." She said as she rested her chin on her knees dejectedly. "And to make things worse, I made another mistake last night. The girl I cheated with, Tara, uh, we've been hanging out a lot lately and I've known for some time that she wants to be more than friends." She admitted.
"I think I may have led her on last night. She, uh, she kissed me again and I think she thinks we're dating now or something." Emily said wryly. "But I don't know how I feel about that. Is it right? I mean, I cheated on your daughter with her. I like spending time with her as a friend but I don't think I can ever see her as something more." She said, trying to understand how she felt.
"Spencer told me I should give Tara a shot. But she doesn't know why I don't want to. And I know it's not fair to Tara that I refuse to be with her because to me what happened with her will always be a mistake. But she thinks because I kissed her back last night I'm willing to try." Emily sighed. "I'm such a horrible person. The whole time I was kissing her I was thinking of Paige."
She smiled sadly. "I think your daughter ruined everyone else for me. She's perfect. At least to me she is." She gently wiped the tears from her eyes. "Whenever she called and asked about my day, I avoid telling her about Tara. Not just about the cheating but about Tara wanting to be more than friends. I know your daughter and if she found out someone felt that way about me, she would stop calling in an effort to help me move on and I can't handle that." Emily said in a small voice.
"I should hate her. Right? For leaving me?" She slowly stood up and took off the ring on her finger. Clutching it tightly in one hand, she willed herself to throw the ring away but instead collapsed in tears, the pain of thinking of letting go too much to bear. "I never told her anything so why did she stop calling me?" She asked, sobbing. "I kept my promise. I said I wouldn't watch Rudy anymore, I said I won't tell anyone she was calling. I kept my promise." Emily whispered, devastated. "So why didn't she keep hers?" She said brokenly. "She shouldn't have left me. I can't do this. I want her back. Please." She pleaded to no one in particular as she sobbed uncontrollably, the wind the only witness to her agony.
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The days passed and Emily tried her best not to show her friends how heartbroken she was. She went about her usual routine of attending all her classes, showing up for swim practice, putting in extra shifts at work and spending time with her friends but Paige never left her thoughts. She was still writing unsent letters to Paige every day and still counting the days until Paige returned to her. She willed herself not to watch Rudy and still didn't tell anyone that she and Paige had been talking hoping keeping her promise would somehow make her phone ring one of these days. But it never did.
Emily decided to start dating Tara and finally introduced the girl to her friends to the other girl's delight, but Emily knew she was doing it for the wrong reasons. She was lonely. And Tara was there.
She thought she was doing a pretty good job of holding herself together until one afternoon. She was with her friends, on their way to watch a movie, when Spencer's car passed by Paige's house and she saw the FOR SALE sign. She quickly asked Spencer to stop the car and hastily got out, suddenly feeling nauseous as she stared at the sign, speechless. Her face must have revealed something to her friends because Aria asked if there was something she wasn't telling them. Without taking her eyes off the sign, she dazedly said that Paige didn't say anything to her about selling her house and that she's really cutting all ties to Rosewood. Before her friends could ask what she meant by it, she went back inside the car and asked Spencer to drive her home, saying she was tired and wasn't feeling well.
Once she got home, she went straight to her room and looked for the gift Paige gave to her on her birthday. Trembling, she hastily opened the box and stared at the set of keys inside. They were the keys to the boat. Kismet. There was a note inside and with a sense of foreboding she took the note and opened it, her heart pounding wildly. She felt her throat constrict and she bit back a sob.
Keep these safe.
The boat may be gone but its name still holds true for us.
Someday I'll find my way back to you.
Kismet will help me find the way.
But for now, I'm letting you go.
-Paige-
I'm letting you go. That was Paige's gift. She was setting Emily free. Dazed, she returned the note in the box and put the box back in her drawer. Emily sat on her bed for a moment, staring at the photo of her and Paige before taking it in her hands. The sudden sound of something smashing made her friends run upstairs to her room as she sat weeping on the floor amidst the broken glass from the frame that once held their photo. Spencer and Hanna hastily started clearing up the broken glass while Aria went to Emily's side to steer her clear of the glass shards. Emily looked up at her friends and brokenly said she kept her promise, she didn't say anything to anyone about Paige's calls, but Paige didn't keep hers, she stopped calling. That night, they somehow managed to fit in her bed as her friends did their best to comfort an inconsolable Emily.
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For a while her friends thought she was going to fall into another state of depression and she almost did, until one day, Aria said something that made Emily start hoping again. She said wherever Paige is, just because she stopped calling, doesn't mean she wasn't thinking of Emily anymore. That they knew all along that Emily is suffering but none of them knew how Paige is doing through all of this. They were all so focused on Emily when she wasn't the only one in pain. When Emily asked how she can be sure, Aria says it may have been Paige's decision to leave, but something tells her it wasn't what Paige wanted. It was something she felt she needed to do at the time. She gives Emily the photo she took of them, now in a new frame, saying she knows Paige will come back for her one day and that now more than ever; Paige needed Emily to hold on to what they have.
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"Here you go." Tara said cheerfully as she placed in front of Emily a plate with a sandwich on it, its crust removed and sliced diagonally into two just the way she liked it. At least when Paige did it for her. But the gesture didn't make her appreciate Tara. It made her feel horrible. It made her wish Paige was there instead.
Two weeks have passed since Aria's words made her realize that Paige was suffering as well. That she wasn't the only one in pain all this time. After their talk, Emily promised to herself that she will find a way to move forward with her life while still patiently waiting for Paige to come back, choosing to trust in what they have. But she knew she had to do things right. She can't be involved with someone out of sheer loneliness.
"You have to stop doing that." Emily said quietly as Tara kissed her forehead lightly before sitting in front of her. Tara's sweetness wasn't going to make what she was about to do any easier. They were seated outside the Brew, choosing to sit at a corner table in an effort to have a little privacy. Knowing Tara was on break, she decided to come by and finally have the talk about the future of their relationship. Or lack thereof.
Tara looked at her curiously. "Why not?" She asked. "You're my girlfriend Em. I'm supposed to do girlfriend-y things for you." She said while beaming at her.
"We need to breakup." Emily said suddenly. There. Band-Aid ripped off. "I'm sorry." She said regretfully. "It's not you, it's me." Emily cringed inwardly at the words she just uttered to the suddenly confused girl sitting in front of her. But that was the truth.
"Uh, what did I do?" Tara asked quietly, trying to hold Emily's hand, but Emily gently pulled it away. "Tell me what's wrong." She said in an effort to try and change Emily's mind.
Emily shook her head. "You've been so good to me Tara. I'm sorry that it turned out this way. But I don't want to keep lying to you. I tried to convince myself that I was somehow moving forward with you but the truth is I just didn't want to wait for Paige alone." She admitted, not quite looking at Tara.
"You don't mean that." Tara said, not willing to believe Emily's words.
"I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore. It still bothers me that I cheated on Paige with you. I thought I would get over it eventually but in the end I realized all this time I was trying to convince myself that my cheating on Paige wasn't for nothing. That I wasn't stupid enough to risk our relationship for something that was meaningless. That I did it because I felt something for you at that moment. But it had nothing to do with you. That moment had nothing to do with you." She knew she was hurting Tara but she had to tell her the truth. "Whether it was you standing there that day or someone else, I would have cheated on Paige because I was plagued with doubts."
"I don't believe that." Tara said, shaking her head. "I kissed you and you kissed me back remember? If it was someone else who was standing in front of you that day the kiss wouldn't have happened because you wouldn't have made the move. I made the move. And you felt something too because you kissed me back." She said, trying to make Emily realize what they have is genuine.
"Whatever it was I was feeling it had nothing to do with you." Emily said adamantly. "It was a mistake. I was selfish. I missed the feeling of being wanted so when you kissed me for a moment I felt that I was. What I didn't realize sooner was that I only want Paige to want me."
"You never stopped seeing me as a mistake did you?" Tara asked, the hurt evident in her voice. "All this time, you never saw me as someone you could really grow to care about, maybe even love." She said, realization dawning on her.
"I do care about you. Just, not that way." Emily confessed.
"Because you refused to feel for me." Tara retorted. "I deserve better than this Emily. I am not some monster that set her sights on you in an effort to destroy your relationship with someone you claimed to be in love with. Someone who by the way, somehow made you feel that you needed to be perfect all the time so much so that you cheated on her in the end." Tara said, hurt. "Don't punish me for your mistake."
"I'm not. But I can't force myself to feel something for you when I don't. I'm sorry but it will always be Paige." Emily said ruefully.
Tara nodded her head once, accepting Emily's decision. "I think you should go. My break's almost over." She said quietly, looking away at Emily.
Emily stood up slowly. "I'm really sorry Tara. I hope you can find a way to forgive me someday." She said quietly.
"We'll be fine." Tara said, still not looking at her. Emily hesitated for a second before turning her back to leave when Tara called after her. "And Emily." Tara said suddenly, stopping Emily in her tracks. She looked at Tara nervously. "I won't tell anyone about the kiss. Don't worry." Tara said quietly. Emily gave her a grateful smile. "I know you're worried about that secret getting out so I just want to assure you that if Paige or your friends eventually find out about it, it's because you finally found the guts to tell them." Tara said while standing up. "It's the least I could do for initiating that kiss." She said before disappearing inside the Brew.
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"So that's what happened." Emily said as she hugged her knees closer to her chest. She was sitting in front of the graves of Paige's parents again, telling them of her breakup with Tara and why she did it.
"Tara deserves someone who actually wants to be with her." She said sincerely. "She's really sweet. And she does all these things that Paige used to do for me, it's uncanny. But it still felt wrong. I feel awful for not appreciating what she does because the truth is; I only like those things when Paige does it for me." Emily admitted softly.
She smiled wistfully. "Last night I wrote another letter to Paige." She said sadly. "But like the last 300 or so letters I wrote to her, I didn't know where to send it so I just kept it again." She took the letter out of her back pocket. "Want me to read it to you?" She asked as she unfolded it, clearing her throat as she began.
Dearest Paige,
Hey. It's me again. You probably won't get to read this just like the other letters I wrote to you, but I still keep writing, hoping one day I'll find a way to tell you all of this. You see, I did a stupid, stupid thing again and I need you to tell me that you can forgive me someday. I cheated on you before you left. I kissed someone again and I am scared to come clean about it because I'm terrified that you won't be able to forgive me this time.
I'm such a coward for not being able to tell you about my indiscretion because I can't take it if you left me. I don't even want to imagine what it's like for you to be looking at me and feeling nothing. So I'm always trying to be better. I know it may seem like I hate trying but… at the end of the day, when all is said and done, I love the fact that you choose to see the best in me. It makes me want to try harder to become a better person for you. It gives me strength knowing that there will always be at least one person who loves me so much she could believe in me unreservedly. I don't want you to stop loving me or stop seeing me the way you do. That's why I still haven't told you about the kiss. Because I am so selfish that I don't want to give up the love you have for me.
I don't know what to do anymore Paige. Ever since you left I feel like I'm constantly drowning and I can't seem to come up for air. I'm supposed to be good at treading on water but every day that passes without you beside me makes me feel like I'm losing the battle. But I want to make you proud. So I'll do what you asked of me. Live my life. Just don't ask me to let you go. Because that's something I can't do for you. I can't let you go Paige, not after I finally found my way back to you. So even if you've let me go, I won't do the same for you. Because I know you'll come back to me and I will wait until you do. But if you can, please hurry back to me. Because I miss you terribly. And I love you immensely. And I know I never said it but you're my constant too.
Forever yours,
Emily
She wiped the tears from her eyes as she folded the letter again, putting it in her back pocket before looking at the graves again. "In case I never said it before, thank you for raising Paige." She said, smiling through her tears. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me. You raised such an utterly amazing person. So thank you." She swallowed hard. "I love her so much." She said emotionally. "And I miss her so much I can't breathe. If I could I'd sit here all day, because spending time with you makes me feel like Paige is still here."
She finally takes off the ring on her finger and studies it for a moment, reading the inscription Paige engraved on it. TO MY CONSTANT. "This is the only thing I have left of us." She says quietly as she undid the clasp of her necklace to slip the ring on it before wearing it around her neck again.
"Until she comes back I can't wear it on my finger. Because I have to find a way to tell her what I did first, and if by some miracle she decides she still wants to commit to me, then it would be an honor to spend the rest of my life with your daughter." She stood up slowly. "I need to go somewhere right now." She said apologetically. "But I'll be back again tomorrow. I just realized I have to do something." She said as she touched the smooth surface of the ring.
"Em." Spencer said, touching Emily's arm lightly.
Emily turned to her side to face her friends, tears streaming down her cheeks. When she finally got home after dropping Paige off, she headed straight to her room and has since then spent the rest of the night trying to stop her tears. Her friends came over to fill her in on what they found out about Paige and Dani's search for leads in the two years that they were together but were surprised to see their friend in tears again.
"Hey Em. What's wrong?" Spencer asked gently, sitting beside her on the bed.
"Paige and I broke up. For real." Emily said, trying to speak clearly in between sobs. "I told her about Tara and the kiss and she was so hurt and it didn't seem like she could forgive me right now so I said she should see where things go with Dani." She admitted brokenly.
"Why would you do that?" Hanna asked, confused.
"Because she had a choice to make. I knew it the moment I saw them at the bus station. And for once I want to stop being selfish when it comes to Paige." Emily said quietly.
"But she'll come back to you right? I mean she has to." Aria asked cautiously. "Em?"
"Of course she'll come back to her. They're MFEO." Hanna said confidently.
Spencer held Emily's hand and squeezed it tightly. "You're MFEO." She told Emily reassuringly, giving her a small smile. "She'll come around."
"What am I supposed to do until then?" Emily asked brokenly.
"Be your awesome self again." Spencer said, trying to make Emily smile. "And wait." She said seriously. "When the time is right, things will fall into place."