Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit

...

Jesse hates Ohio.

He's lived here pretty much his entire life and he still isn't able to appreciate one single aspect of the cow town. Not the acres of nothingness, not the white trash and certainly not the weather. In fact more than anything, he hates the weather. It's schizophrenic at the best of times and always manages to be exactly the opposite of what he wants. One of the two reasons that he chose to go to UCLA was that Los Angeles practically only had one season. (The other reason being that it was as far away from Ohio as he could go without leaving the country.)

But he's stuck for the time being, going through the college experience in OSU one godforsaken day at a time. It only gets worse when he finds out that his dorm is a full fifteen minute walk away from the main campus leaving him ample time to experience the hot, the cold and every goddamn thing in between. Jesse tries hard to get to stay off campus but after the UCLA fiasco his father can barely look him in the eye so he figures he'll take baby steps – it'll be a while before his parents realize not only does he deserve his own place but he deserves it somewhere better than Ohio.

The only thing that's worse is that he's barely making it through the first semester and it's not because of his grades. (He isn't about to make that mistake again.) It's because everything at OSU is just mediocre. While the musical theatre program isn't particularly bad, it isn't good enough. At least not for someone with his talent and his dreams. As far as vocal and acting classes go, he's far above everyone in his class. He has more range, more drive and a better work ethic. Of course it's a nice ego boost but it doesn't mean anything if you're the best in an average group. Rachel is a prime example of this. He can literally feel everything in Ohio smothering him and he needs to get the fuck out, as soon as possible.

But then…there's Quinn Fabray.

Blonde, beautiful and undoubtedly broken.

She plays the game better than anyone he's ever met, which is why he chose to seek her out over the summer, but he knows that on some level he isn't spending time with her just for his own amusement. He's undeniably attracted to her, which is odd in itself because it's not like he hadn't seen her during his unfortunate stint as a senior at McKinley. Of course she had looked like she was auditioning for a role on ABC Family then, so he can hardly blame himself for not giving her a second look. She's most definitely not the reason that he's still in Ohio. She can't be because the reason he's staying is to stop his mother reminding him how it's so much harder to get a job without a degree. So his parents had mentioned OSU dozens of times before and yes, his actual application coincided with Quinn telling him to go. Whatever. Being called lazy is not something he takes kindly to.

It just so happens that when he's thinking of Quinn he comes up with an idea. And it's a brilliant one at that.

On a whim he decides to check out the NYU prospectus as well and what he sees makes even his heart beat a little faster. NYU has a musical theatre program, he knew that much, but it's the words 'Spring Transfer' that make his eyes light up. He had never intended on spending four years in Ohio anyway but to know that he could get away after just one semester really is too good. It'll be difficult of course, but Jesse St. James lives for challenges.

There are times when he's with Quinn that he feels a prickle of guilt for not telling her about his NYU plans. But at the same time he knows that you should only ever tell a person something that's worth telling and getting an audition at NYU doesn't guarantee anything. And with all the time they've been spending together, he doesn't think him just leaving will sit well with her at all. It's ridiculous really; he shouldn't feel guilty for getting closer to Broadway - the one thing he has always wanted.

He doesn't like that his brain is so fixated on Quinn.

He doesn't understand why either. He doesn't want to save her or be her knight in shining armor. It's a boring, clichéd narrative and well, he's just not that chivalrous.

For a while he thought it was because she used to be Finn's and since Finn took from him, it only made sense that he should return the favor. But that's not the case because it's been months and Jesse still doesn't have her. He wishes he could pin it down to the fact that she's the most gorgeous girl he can remember seeing; it would make so much more sense than anything else. She won't even sing with him, which frustrates him because every female he's ever known has wanted to sing with him. With Rachel it was easy, from the moment she joined him in 'Hello' he knew that their chemistry was incredible and as they fought for dominance in all their duets, he could feel the lust and sexual tension ebb and flow. That and she was only too eager to be indulged; a few words of thoroughly deserved praise and she was completely enamored with him.

He isn't even sure if Quinn likes music. She must on some level because he's sung to her and well, she's only human, but it's a level that's a lot lower than he's used to. He's tried on several separate occasions to get her to duet with him but the closest he's ever gotten is getting her to hum along. She's pretty much cockteasing him without even actually doing it and he can't help but wonder if she's doing it not solely for her own enjoyment, but to hide the fact that she's absolutely terrified.

When he goes to her room the morning after they kiss and finds her gone, he gets his answer.

Jesse speaks with his advisor immediately, who bluntly tells him that while his vocal and acting skills are good, based on his dancing he doesn't stand a chance at Tisch. He wants to tell the man that he's jaded and just needs some credible talent to stay at OSU but decides against it. If he's going to do this, and he has every intention of doing this right, he'll need to adopt a different strategy from the quadruple Nationals winning male lead.

He takes his advisor's comments about his dancing seriously (there might be some truth to them) and signs up for an additional ballet class. He can hold his own, without question, but it troubles him that the vast majority of his class is actually better than him. He's not used to being anything other than number one and the fact that he's been in jazz shoes since he was five and is still not better than these Midwestern bottom feeders is something that he's just not okay with. He needs to be better.

His preparations for his audition send him into overdrive. He spends more time in the vocal practice rooms than ever before because this time there's no Carmel to ease the application process along. He persuades (forces) his acting classmates to go through the same scene again and again, refining every single nuance of his performance. He finds that his dancing is just not progressing at the pace he would like so in addition to his additional dance class, he decides to take up another class outside of school.

It takes him all of one minute to figure out that he can kill two birds with one stone.

He quickly contacts his uncle and asks if he can spend a few weekends at his place because he's 'homesick' and naturally he agrees. Jesse has always liked staying with his uncle; the man is courteous enough to hardly ever be home.

It's difficult for Jesse to pick his best quality, but if he absolutely had to choose, he'd say it's his unwavering self-confidence. After all, he could argue that his self-confidence is what allows him to excel in everything else he does, both on and off stage. Like him, Rachel had complete confidence in herself and the talent to warrant it; one of the reasons he found himself so attracted to her was that she knew, without doubt, that she was going to be his rival on Broadway.

If what happened in his guest bedroom isn't enough for him to kick his attraction to Quinn, then this reason alone should do the trick. Quinn has confidence, that much is true; he's sure that she would not be able to channel the lovely Grace Kelly if she didn't. But he also knows that her confidence stems from mere representations of herself that she constructs, characters that she plays. Grace Kelly, Queen Bee, Head Cheerleader. Quinn's lack of confidence in her own self absolutely infuriates him beyond all reason. He should find her pathetic and not worth his time, hell high school Jesse did, but he's also seen the real Quinn – the Quinn who is able to match him word for word– and he doesn't think he'll be able to find anyone like her ever again. He's aware that the thought is a little too melodramatic but she keeps pace with him better than any girl he's ever met and more than anything, she doesn't bore him. Quinn's enough of a bitch to never be boring. Which is why he wants her to want him. More specifically, he wants her to want what he represents – getting the hell out of Ohio and never looking back. It's egotistical, even for him, and probably perverted but he doesn't care. Especially if it leads to her leaving this cesspit that they're forced to call home.

Of course he has every intention of making her want him in other ways but – one thing at a time.

When he walks into the ballet studio in Lima on a Saturday evening and sees Rachel, he receives proof that he pretty much is a genius. Sure, he remembers her schedule from when they were dating and Rachel's studio is much better than anything either Akron or Columbus can offer but there are times when his Machiavellian side surprises even himself. The look on Rachel's face is both priceless and hilarious at the same time but all he gives her is a slight nod. They're not in the same class, but if he knows Rachel (and he does) her curiosity has been piqued just enough to want to know why he's there.

And sure enough, when class is over she approaches him.

He doesn't actually mean to tell Rachel that he's auditioning for NYU when they start talking after class; all he intends to do is let her know that he's in Lima in the hope that she'd mention it to Quinn. It's underhanded and he's being petty but he's got the biggest ego he knows of and by giving him blue balls and then leaving, Quinn dealt it a one-two punch. So for better or worse he lets it slip, mostly because Rachel's going on and on about her chances at NYADA and well, Tisch is Tisch.

It shuts her up almost instantly and he's all kinds of pleased about it. She doesn't hesitate to tell him that she has to go because Finn, her boyfriend, is going to pick her up. She's crazier than he remembers if she thinks that that's going to affect him but he does wonder how much longer she's going to delude herself into believing that Finn Hudson and Broadway can both be a part of her future. He doesn't bring it up though because it's not a part of his plan; while irritating Hudson is a nice bonus, it isn't the goal. He politely wishes Rachel good luck, leaving before he has the misfortune of meeting Gigantor again.

And besides, all he has to do is wait because as always, Rachel just cannot help herself.

...

Author's Note: I've finally been able to start writing chapters for this story again. I hope that everyone who wanted to get inside Jesse's head for a bit enjoys this :) It was difficult to have him toe the line between being a douche and actually caring about Quinn so please let me know how I did. Since I'm having fun writing him, I've decided that we're going to stick with him through to the next chapter. As an aside I had stopped watching glee since the whole Quinn wants to take Beth storyline started because it pretty much started to kill my muse; after reading a few episode synopses wow did I make the right choice. I missed Jesse's brief token appearance so maybe someone could fill me in on how he did ;) I guess I just want you to know that I'll be ignoring 95% of what happened in season 3 and the 5% that I do use will probably be presented in a very different way. Hope you enjoyed reading this and as always please leave reviews!