I guess it's luck, but it's the same
Hard luck you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love but it's like you said
'Love is like a role that we play.'

But I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say.
Chasing the ghost of a good thing
haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away from you again,
but you're chasing ghosts ;;

Maybe if Bella would have known things were about to change she would have done things different. Maybe if she would have known that soon enough, everything would shift, she would have paid better attention. She would have fought for more time to spend with him. She would have insisted that he stay with her while she slept, regardless of who else was there. She would have kissed him every second she had until the practice had become more common than taking a breath. She would have told him she loved him a hundred times more than she did. If there had been any inkling that they were both about to be thrown for a loop, Bella never would have let him go even more than a second.

But she didn't know.

She didn't even have the slightest hint that something was about to go horribly wrong. Instead, she only kissed him once before he left to go hunting, gave his hand a little squeeze, and said she'd see him in just a couple of short hours. It was not too big of a deal – he'd needed to hunt after all. While he was gone, her thoughts revolved completely around Jasper. But that was no surprise; they always did. Not once had there been any inkling of a negative feeling in the pit of her stomach, the kind she often got when something didn't feel right, when she wondered if something was about to happen to change everything. It had just been a normal day, albeit a long one when she wasn't with him. She'd started to feel like the hours were dragging on and on.

At some point though, Bella realized that they had been dragging on. When she looked at the clock and noted that it was later than Jasper had said he'd meet her, she was slightly confused, but attributed it to the fact that he simply got caught up. If he'd been hunting with Emmett, she could see how that would happen as the two of them seemed to have fun on their outings. If that was the case, she was happy. She was glad he was spending time with his brother and hopefully it meant that the trip was a success.

It was just another indication of how blind the brunette was to the truth of the situation. Bella relaxed, kept herself occupied by doing a few loads of laundry and cooking a bit of an elaborate chicken dish for Charlie's dinner. When another two hours had passed though, Bella was beginning to really worry. She tried Jasper's cell phone once, but there was no answer. If anything, that solidified her concerns. What if something happened while he was hunting? He never would have left it go so long without calling her if he was just running late; Jasper was always so considerate, he would have let her know for certain. She called the house. No answer. Now she was really beginning to panic. Something had to have happened. Something was wrong. Now was when the dread set in. Now was when the ill-fated feeling settled in her stomach. But when she called Jasper's phone a second time, the intensity of her worries doubled. There was an answer this time, but it wasn't the voice Bella expected to hear.

"Stop calling, Bella. He doesn't want to see you."

Rosalie's voice had come through, cold and firm. Just two sentences and then the call shut off.

For a moment, Bella was dumbfounded. That hadn't been anything like she expected. It made sense that Rosalie was just making it up because she didn't like the fact that Bella and Jasper cared about one another. It was a feasible story. But why did she have Jasper's phone? He wouldn't go anywhere without it. And why, understandable or not, would his twin answer the phone just to tell Bella that? Something wasn't right. Bella contemplated calling back and demanding some sort of an answer, but she had a feeling that she would be met with silence if she made another attempt. There was only one way to find out what was going on. Writing a note to Charlie, she hopped into her truck. It wasn't made to travel at high speeds at all, but she pushed the old Chevy as fast as it would go to get her to her destination.

There was no need to knock when she arrived. They would hear her coming when her truck pulled up. Besides, Rose at least had to know that she wouldn't give up that easily. If she didn't, she was about to get a surprise.

"Jasper?" Bella called after pushing open one of the side glass doors of the house. But before she could take another two steps, his twin was in front of her.

"Do you not know when to take a hint?" Rosalie snarled. "If I said stop calling, that doesn't mean getting your sick, obsessed self over here."

Bella could hardly hear her. She was too busy looking around her to see if Jasper was there. She couldn't see him however, and turned back to his blonde sister. "Where is he?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter where he is. It matters where you are. And you need to get out of here." Rosalie's voice still sounded like velvet, even though it was menacing and sarcastic. It didn't, however, dissuade Bella.

"Rosalie, where is he?" she asked again, speaking in a voice that was just as firm, but that lacked the melodious edge to it.

The vampire just smiled, displaying a perfect set of even teeth. Even when she shrugged, it looked graceful. "Fine. If you won't take the hint from me, take it from Jasper," she said. "He's in his room."

On the inside, Rosalie was bubbling with pleasure. Her clever plan had worked and though she honestly didn't like seeing her brother in pain, if it meant that it would end whatever twisted relationship he had with this human who was responsible for the death of her other brother and sister, it was well worth it.

Bella didn't waste a second before going to the location. Her heart was heavy on the way, but her steps were quick. The door, she found, was ajar. What she found inside broke her heart to a hundred pieces.

"Jasper?" she whispered, her eyes wide and confused.

He really had been there.

It was supposed to be a normal day. Jasper had needed to hunt that day; ever since becoming intimately involved with Bella, he was careful not to let himself go too long without feeding, as he'd been doing before while grieving. He was supposed to go hunting, then come back to the house and clean up, then go back to Bella's and stay with her. That was his intent when he kissed her goodbye and brushed his fingers against her cheek. That was his intent while he was hunting that afternoon. He'd not gone with Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett; they'd gone further north to have a bigger hunting ground. Jasper stayed in the local area so he could return quicker. It was still his intent when he arrived back at the Cullen house and ran upstairs to his room to take a shower. It was when he reached his room that his world came to a screeching halt, and all his good intentions flew out the window.

On his bed, a beautiful white dress was gingerly draped over the comforter; Alice's wedding dress. It was not an extravagant wedding gown, nothing at all like the garments Rosalie wore when she would remarry Emmett or even the dresses Esme wore when she'd renew her vows with Carlisle. It was not what one would think of as a wedding dress, especially to those who knew Alice. For their tiny courthouse wedding, it had been perfect. And the way she carried herself when she wore it, one would have thought she'd stepped off the runways of Paris herself wearing it, even though she'd simply purchased it at a department store with what little money they had at the time. The dress was almost sixty years old; it was older than Annabelle, and yet it was still in near pristine condition. Alice had kept it tailored over the years almost as religiously as Jasper fixed up his car.

All the photographs of Edward and Alice had been tucked away or kept in rooms of the house that Jasper did not set foot in. But seeing Alice's wedding dress had been worse of a blow than if he'd stumbled upon a photograph. He didn't just see the dress, he saw the wedding replaying in his mind. He saw Alice standing in front of him. He could feel her hands in his as she gleefully chirped her vow to love him forever. Her scent was still on the dress. He could pick it up with his heightened senses, and breathed it in before he even realized what he was doing.

Alice.

A horrifying realization hit him almost as hard as the initial blow of the memories attached to the dress. He had not thought of his deceased wife in weeks, months. He had not visited her grave as he'd done everyday before. He had not spoken her name, he had not grieved, he had not pictured her face. He had not remembered her. How could he have been so selfish? How could he not have at least in passing, thought about the woman that he had been married to for more than half of a century?

As he approached the dress, pain started piercing through his chest. He reached out and just as his fingers brushed lightly over the lacy bodice, his hand trembled and the pain intensified. What had he done? How had he gone so long without thinking of Alice?

He'd done it because he didn't know how to balance his emotions properly. He, Jasper, the one who knew everything about emotions, could not keep track of his own. He had not known how he could allow himself to be happy, and still grieve for Alice at the same time. He'd gotten it into his mind that he had to have one or the other. Jasper had buried his heartache in order to be happy, and forgotten Alice in the process.

He did not hear Bella's phone calls, nor did he hear her truck pull up outside of the house. Even if he did, the sound did not process in his mind or register any sort of rational thought. He hadn't even acknowledged Rosalie when she came in to try to comfort him as he wept. Not long after his realization, Jasper had taken hold of the wedding dress and crumpled to the floor. He'd been in the same position for several hours, holding the dress and crying. All the grief, all the pain that he'd been suppressing had surfaced and was pouring out of him in the form of sobs, causing his entire body to shake with sorrow.

t was a painful sight, even for Rosalie to witness. Even as he wept in despair, trembling and even choking on the venom that caught in his throat, Jasper still held the dress delicately in his hands. He held the fragile garment with such care, as if its owner were still wearing it. His pain could be felt through the house; he wasn't even trying to hide it. He wasn't thinking. He was just grieving.

"Alice," he'd cry her name every so often, wracked with guilt. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry darlin, I'm so sorry." He cradled the dress against his body, as if he were hugging Alice herself.

"Alice.. Alice.. darlin.. please forgive me.."

Nothing could reach him; he was so consumed in his pain and sorrow that he didn't even realize that the world was still functioning around him. He did not know Bella was standing there witnessing his breakdown. He did not know that she would feel his anguish.

It wasn't the day he intended.

Why didn't she just listen to Rose?

Why couldn't she have just stayed home, pretending like she was waiting for Jasper and continuing to think that nothing was wrong, that he just got caught up somewhere?

Why couldn't she have turned around when Rosalie told her, yet again, that he didn't want to see her?

Maybe if she would have, Bella could have spared herself from this. This would be an image that she would never forget. Every single happy one that she'd collected and tucked away neatly that she shared with Jasper of beaches and carousels and daffodils were flattened, pushed out by this one. She would never be able to erase this. The sight of Jasper on the floor, clutching the white fabric to his chest and shaking…. Bella would never be able to forget that. She knew exactly what the garment was that he was holding onto so tightly. Alice's wedding dress. The pixie-like vampire had showed it to her once when she was over. Bella remembered how much she gushed over it, retelling her the whole tale of when her and Jasper were married. Alice hadn't been able to stop smiling. The grin lit up the room, making Bella feel so happy just for being able to hear such a beautiful story. She remembered telling Alice that she wished she could have been there to see it, that it would have been so nice to witness such a happy event. Alice had only laughed, telling her that she would have been her maid of honor.

Honor.

What honor? How honorable was it to fall in love with her husband? How honorable was it for her to forget about Alice and instead, focus on the man who'd the dark-haired girl had shared eternal vows with decades before? How honorable was it that he'd become Bella's entire life when his wife's no longer even existed? It wasn't something that Alice would have been able to predict. It wasn't something that she could have seen before they went to Italy. She hadn't planned to lose her life and she certainly didn't plan for Jasper to share his with another when she was gone. If she had, Bella was sure that she wouldn't have been considered for the maid of honor. She wouldn't have been considered for anything at all.

If her heart had been split into a hundred pieces when she first witnessed Jasper there on the floor, hearing his words had splintered it into thousands. That didn't seem accurate enough to describe it. There was nothing, no words to describe the pain Bella felt when she listened to him. He was apologizing. He was apologizing to his dead wife, his Alice, his 'darlin''. He was apologizing for reasons that Bella didn't have to spend a lot of time guessing at. He'd gotten so wrapped up in something that he too, must have forgotten. Bella, so selfishly, so cruelly made him forget about the love of his life.

Alice.

Alice was the love of Jasper's life. Alice was the one he'd spent the last sixty years of his existence with. Alice was the one who'd given him hope. Alice was the one who he'd married, promised that he would love forever.

Alice. Not Isabella.

She felt the emotions of him so strongly that Bella almost felt like she was going to go weak in the knees for a moment. She had to clutch the door frame in order to keep them from buckling under the weight of his sorrow. Never before had she experienced his emotions like this. It had been hard the first day she'd come back to Forks and made an appearance at the Cullen's home for the first time since the deaths. It had been devastating when she witnessed his breakdown in the cemetery when he traced the letters in Alice's name and told her stories about the day he'd proposed to her. He spoke of daisies. Daisies, the happiest flower.

Daisies. Not daffodils.

She told him the truth of what happened in Volterra, of her responsibility for taking away his Alice. And she'd done it again. A second time, Bella had been to blame for taking away Alice from Jasper. The emotions she felt from him now didn't have a name. It wasn't 'hard' or 'devastating' to witness the grief and anguish coming from him. There just wasn't a way to describe it.

But whatever it was, it was unbearable.

Bella was in such shock, that she couldn't speak. She felt like she was intruding, like she shouldn't be there at all, but rather hundreds and hundreds of miles away. Jasper didn't even seem to notice she was there to begin with. He just kept saying that name over and over, apologizing to Alice. Alice. For a full five minutes or so - she didn't really know since it seemed like time had frozen completely – all she could do was watch him. She didn't know what it was that made her finally turn away. Maybe it was the fact that the shock had started to wear off and everything else that came with realization of what she was seeing came flooding into her. Whatever the reason, Bella quietly closed the door.

She felt like she wasn't really there, like she wasn't really walking back down the steps. Bella could only wish that would have been true when she met Rosalie by the door.

"Now you know," Rose said. "Now you've seen what you've done. He doesn't want you, Bella. He's never wanted you. You aren't Alice. You aren't his wife. You never will be. You'll never be what she was to him."

Her voice was so calm, as if it were as normal of a conversation as a discussion on the weather. Bella couldn't say anything. She could barely lift her head to look at Rosalie, but her eyes never left the blond. Every single thing she said had been the truth. Every single thing she said, broke the pieces of her heart down a little bit more. Including what she said next.

"You never even thought of her, did you? You never even thought about the fact that she considered you to be a sister to her, did you? Tell me, Bella. Did you ever think of Edward? Did you, even for a second, stop to remember that he died because of you? They both did. They both died because of your selfish, thoughtless wants. And now you've made my brother pay for it too. You've broken him."

Pieces to dust.

"Get out, Bella. You aren't welcome here."

Her heart had been dust before. But now the particles were scattered, blown across the horrible plane of truth that Rosalie spoke of. The girl was bitter, yes. But everything she said was the truth. Bella was responsible for all of this and she knew it. There was no chance of collecting all the pieces of dust, no chance of putting them back together to form a heart anymore. Not this time. As she drove back to the her house, ghosting through the motions, she opened the windows of her truck to let the wind carry the ashes that were left.

Time was not something that was regarded by vampires in minutes, hours, or even days. Jasper did not realize that he'd been grieving for Alice over the span of three days. He had no idea, until his grief started to subside and he was able to start thinking again. By the time he came out of it, Jasper had been curled up in the fetal position on the floor. The rest of the family had come home to be greeted by the waves of depression he was giving off. Esme had been in to see about him several times, but Jasper did not recall any such occasion. He had just been so out of touch with reality that he did not realize any of that. At some point he'd spoken to Esme while she was in, because she'd taken the dress away and put it back in Alice's closet. Had she not done that, it would've probably been much longer before Jasper came around.

When he came to, he found himself on the floor. To him, it did not seem like three days had gone by. He also still did not know that Bella had come in to witness the tail end of his mental break down. In his mind, all Jasper knew was that he was late to go see her. At once, he hurried out of his room and down the stairs, only to be stopped by Esme hugging him. She'd been so worried and it was good to see him out of his room. He thanked her for taking care of him, but then voiced that he really needed to get to Bella.

"What?" Rosalie demanded, emerging from the kitchen into the front room where Jasper had come down. "What do you mean you have to get to Bella? Do you not even remember what you just went through? What you put us through?"

Jasper raked a hand through his hair and took a cleansing breath. He was still reeling from the whole ordeal, but he had to get to Bella and apologize to her for being late. "Rose, now isn't the time for this. I have to see her, and I don't have to explain myself to you. Excuse me, Bella is waiting for me."

"Somehow I doubt that," she said as Jasper started to walk past her.

"What..?" Jasper turned around quickly to face his twin. "What are you talking about?"

"Bella was here. Three days ago. She saw you mourning over your wife and realized she had no place here. Finally."

Jasper froze. "T-Three days.. It's been three days?" His eyes widened and he stared at Rosalie in disbelief. Realization hit. Rosalie put the dress out. Rosalie set everything up for disaster. She'd made it no secret that she disliked Bella immensely. But he couldn't believe she'd stoop to such a level. While it was necessary that he get out his grief, it did not have to be at the expense of his relationship with Bella.

"You did this to me, to her."

Rosalie shrugged. "So what? She needed to be reminded and apparently so did you."

Jasper just shook his head and glared at her. "You and me? We're done," he said coldly, and stormed out.

He did not stop until he got into his car and peeled out of the garage. Three whole days had gone by? What must Bella be thinking? He had to get to her, to explain to her why he was so upset, that it had nothing to do with her or their relationship. It was just unexpressed grief and anger at himself for not handling his emotions better. He knew if he could just get to her, if he could just hold her, beg her forgiveness, that things would be all right. He pressed his foot harder on the gas pedal, and pushed Annabelle a little harder than he normally would have. All he could think about was Bella, and getting to her as quickly as possible.

Bella wished she had no concept of time. She wished she could let entire days pass and not realize that things were moving along even though she was not. But Bella didn't have that luxury. Instead, she knew exactly how slowly time was dragging on. While she could acknowledge each passing second, she could also acknowledge just how leisurely it was moving.

When she left the Cullen's house that day after seeing Jasper, after being pushed out not only by the sight of him in his mourning, but by Rosalie's harsh, but true, words as well, she cried herself to sleep until there was nothing left, no more tears. It was the opposite of how she grieved for things before. After everything that had happened in Italy, Bella had become like a stone, incapable of feeling or showing emotion. She bottled it up so tightly that there were times when she felt like it didn't even exist, that she didn't even exist. But this was different. As much as she wished she could cease to exist, just like she wished that time would be a silly fantasy rather than an inevitable reality, she still did.

Her emotions were the driving force behind everything she did. There hadn't been a night in those three days that she didn't cry herself out until she was too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Her window was kept shut and her curtains were closed. Jasper wasn't coming to stay with her. Nobody would be guarding her house anymore. She didn't deserve that. They all realized, just like Jasper did, that she had done a horrible, horrible thing. For all Bella cared, she hoped the newborn would come back and finish off what he'd started. She hoped Victoria would seek her long-time revenge sooner rather than later.

But Bella didn't have that luxury either. Instead, she had to endure the days. Charlie was beside himself with not knowing what to do. It felt like it was only so recently that his Bells came back to life again and now she was gone. He could hear her crying at night and each time he did, it broke his heart for his daughter. He'd asked her about it once, the first day after he'd listened to her sobbing. All she said was that she was thinking about the past.

Bella hadn't gotten specific and Charlie didn't push for it. He assumed she was missing Edward. That was why he called Jacob and asked him to come over. Jake had been the one to help Bella through her hardships the year before. He could surely do the same now. Or at least, Charlie sincerely hoped so.

When Jake came over, Bella was laying on the couch. Curled up in a blanket, she was watching Gone with the Wind. Obviously, she was more masochistic than she even realized herself. The knock at the door gave her a fleeting glimmer of hope.

It was Jasper. It had to be. He was coming back.

She threw back the blanket and rushed to the door, blinded by that desperation of hope. But it wasn't Jasper and Bella couldn't hide the disappointment on her face when she saw Jake. She didn't mean to look so sullen over his presence, but when she'd tricked herself into believing that Jasper could have been there, it was hard to settle for anything less. It had been three days, eleven hours, twenty-three minutes, and roughly fourteen seconds that she'd last seen Jasper as Jacob followed her back to the couch.

For awhile, he didn't say anything. He just sat with her quietly, something that Jake wasn't prone to doing. On the inside, he was positively seething with anger. He knew the bloodsucker was behind this. He knew it was that dirty leech that messed up Bella yet again. It was always their fault. He never did this to her, nor would he ever. He figured it was some sort of fun family game for them to see how many times they could break her. But he couldn't dwell on all of these things. The only thing he could think of was how to cheer her up, bring her back to life. He tried to crack a joke about the movie's main character and her ways with men. Expecting a laugh from her, or at least, a smile, Jake was horrified when she burst into tears.

He wouldn't know the movie was sentimental to her, or that Jasper had commented on Scarlet O'Hara's ways before and that the memory of it would set Bella off. But it did. She started sobbing so hard that it actually scared Jake. He wasn't used to this. He'd never seen Bella like this before. Ever.

"Bells…" he whispered, pulling her close to him and wrapping his arms around her. Bella didn't react aside from continuing to cry. She finally lost track of time as she did so, sobbing into Jacob's shoulder. When her tears finally began to subside, she realized something. She was… glad he was there. While she wouldn't have wanted anyone to witness her being quite so emotional under normal circumstances, someone was there. When she realized that, she was thankful toward the boy. Stopping her crying, she settled herself down by clinging to that, wrapping her arms around Jake and relaxing and taking comfort in the fact that at least for the moment, she wasn't alone. Considering she'd felt nothing but alone for the past three days, she would take the change.

Nothing could have stopped Jasper from reaching Bella that night. The army of newborns, not even Victoria herself could have stopped him from getting to her. He put Annabelle's engine and handling to the test that night, racing her down the wet roads at dangerous speeds with little regard to anyone else on the road. Just because he did not typically drive the way his family members did didn't mean he wasn't capable of it when he needed to.

The car screeched to a stop, and Jasper would have to apologize to Annabelle later for his treatment of her. Right now he had to get to Bella.

Bella.

Bella was all he could think of. He had no idea what he could do to receive her forgiveness and he no idea what he would even say to her. If he could just get to her, they'd figure it out. He'd find a way to explain to her what happened and she'd find her way back into his arms and they'd be all right. They were in love, and there was nothing that could break that. He needed her more than he'd ever needed her before; he needed cherish her, love her, tell her how much she meant to him because if there was one thing he'd learned through his grief, it was that he never could take a moment with her for granted. He could never waste an opportunity to let her know how much he loved her. He had no idea what lay in store for him as he ran down Bella's street from where he'd parked his car. He had no idea of the misinterpreted conclusions Bella had drawn from seeing him in his broken state. And he had no idea that Bella was being cherished by another.

When Jasper stepped onto the property, his eyes immediately lifted to look up at her window. It was shut and the curtains were pulled to block his view inside. A piercing pain, fueled by dread and fear, pricked at his fragile heart. He wasn't horribly shocked by that, however. He expected Bella would be upset with him, as she rightly should have been. Three days with no contact at all; Jasper knew he would be fighting an uphill battle, but he hoped that she'd listen to him. Bella was so forgiving, so much so that he feared she was too forgiving. He was praying that she would forgive him enough to let him apologize and make it up to her for as long as it took to make her smile again.

Jasper had held true to the notion that he would always love Bella no matter what, and that he would be hers forever. Even if she stopped loving him, he would love her for his eternity. Vampires fell in love, but they never fell out of it. Humans, were a different sort of creature, he'd come to learn. They could fall in and out of love very easily, almost to the point of cheapening and demeaning the concept of what love truly was. Bella, he knew, was different. She was not like other humans he'd come into contact with. He did not think he was deserving of her love, but he'd been able to feel it so genuinely coming from her and he couldn't get enough of it. Her feelings mirrored his and he never wanted that to change.

His gaze left her closed window when he could hear voices. His heightened hearing allowed him to listen in on what was happening inside. They were voices he recognized, but not Bella's or even Charlie's.

"Rhett, don't! I shall faint!"

"I want you to faint. This is what you were meant for. None of the fools you've ever known have kissed you like this, have they?"

Jasper recognized that useless tripe. She was watching Gone with the Wind? Then there was still hope that she could forgive him. That was the film they'd been watching when they confessed of their love for each other. Surely that had to mean something to his favor in this situation. His eyes shifted from Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable to see her, under a quilt just as she'd been when they watched it together.

And Jacob's arms were around her. Jacob was holding her.

Jasper couldn't make sense of the situation. She was going to pull away, jerk away from him as she had before, surely. He wanted to run in and rip the dark haired boy's arms off of her, attack him head on like he'd intended to do the night he'd tried this same maneuver with Bella. But something was keeping him rooted to the spot.

Bella.

Bella was what was keeping him out. The displeasure, anger, and repulsed feelings he'd felt coming from her the last time Jacob had his arms around her were absent. Why wasn't she pulling away from him? Jasper saw her move and thought she would push the wolf back. Bella, he thought, turning his head, preparing himself to strike when she recoiled. But it didn't happen. Her arms slid around Jacob's neck. And he felt her joy. He felt how content she was, how calm and relaxed she was.

He'd told her he would be with her unless she wished him away. He would cherish her heart until she took it away. The shut window should have been his send off. He should have taken that to heart, to know she was closing him out of her life now. He shouldn't have looked in that window. Jasper would never be able to erase that image from his mind. He'd wanted Bella's happiness more than his own, more than anything else in the world.

Who had he been kidding? He was a monster, a demon, and he did not deserve her pure love. He'd been lucky once. He'd been a fool to think he could have her love and be able to keep it. Was this his eternal punishment for his sins? To find his happiness only to have it wrenched away from him again and again? He couldn't take it. He couldn't handle this anymore.

Unlike Bella, Jasper's heart did not shatter again. It turned icy, just as his exterior. A stone wall built itself around his abused heart, preventing it from breaking, or feeling anything at all. There was no sadness, no anger, certainly no happiness. Nothing. Jasper, who primarily functioned through his emotions, cut them all off at the source by sealing them within their stone prison.

He turned from the sight before him and walked away from Bella's house. He did not even return to his car. He just walked. And walked. Even as the Washington rain started to fall, he walked. There was no destination in mind. What did it matter where he went? He had nothing left to give.

Hours later when his cell phone rang, he pulled it out of his pocket and looked down. Mother flashed on the caller ID. Jasper didn't even flinch. He tossed the phone down on the sidewalk and smashed it under his boot as he walked. The rain soaked his hair and his clothes, his curls matted down around the sides of his face, his clothes dripping and clinging to his long, lean body. He didn't care. He felt nothing.

Three minutes and roughly forty-nine seconds. That was how long the comfort and relaxation that Bella had felt lasted. It was just long enough to get Jacob to think that he was finally getting his way, that he was finally getting the opportunity to be what Bella wanted. She didn't need anyone else – just him. No more bloodsuckers. No more leeches. No more people that would hurt her.

But Jacob didn't know Bella very well at all. She adored Jacob; he was a good friend. But she loved Jasper. She needed Jasper. She didn't want to be comforted by just anyone; he wanted to be comforted by Jasper. If she couldn't, then she wasn't meant to be comforted. When time started to register again, when she realized that the body that was holding her was too warm – almost suffocatingly so – and not cold and firm, the seconds began again. The minutes started back up, ticking and ticking to prolong the time she'd spent away from Jasper. If Jacob thought she was okay, if he honestly thought that this was the beginning of her recovery, then he was mistaken. Horribly so. It had only been a lapse of agony, brought forth by the fact that she was so exhausted, she couldn't help but to feel grateful that someone was there. But as soon as it all clicked into place, as soon as she could hear Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh's voices on the television, she inhaled sharply and pulled back.

Jacob had been anything but understanding. While he had been a comfort the moment before, his frustration amounted to unlike anything before. He didn't need to ask her what was wrong. He knew. He knew it had something to do with the leech. And frankly, it made him angry.

"Jesus, Bells," he spat bitterly. "I never took you for being a stupid girl, but you're really pining for that bastard? Still?" It didn't even matter which one he could have been talking about. To Jacob, whether she was thinking of Edward or if she was more likely thinking of Jasper, it meant that she wasn't thinking of him. He was sick and tired of it and he wasn't going to keep quiet about it anymore.

"You keep doing this to yourself, Bella. It's your fault that you don't just wake up and see what's going on. Twice. Twice now you've just paraded around with your heart and let them take shots at it. Where are they now? What do you have to show for it? They left, Bella. I've never gone anywhere. I've ALWAYS been right here for you. You're so blind to what's right in front of you."

Bella, like she did when Rose had started in on her speech, could do nothing but stare at him, wordless.

But unlike with Rose, Bella wasn't going to stay silent for much longer as Jake continued on. "Bells, he doesn't want you. If he did, he would be here, wouldn't he?" he said. "But he's not. I am." When he spoke though, another click occurred and Bella snapped back into reality.

"Don't say that," she hissed.

It might have been true in the sense that Jasper wasn't there and that she had witnessed him breaking down in mourning his wife just a few days before. But… she refused to believe it. She couldn't bring herself to believe that he didn't want her anymore. Bella wasn't a wishful thinker by any means. But she'd felt his emotions. She'd felt love coming from him with they had been together. Happiness. She'd felt those. They weren't emotions that could be faked. Perhaps in normal circumstances for normal relationships. But the relationship that Jasper and Bella had wasn't normal. It went far beyond what any 'normal' relationship could have consisted on. It was so strongly rooted in emotion, in feeling.

When Jacob went to say something else, Bella cut him off before he could. "No, Jake. I'm talking now. Listen or don't, but I'm talking." Her tone was firm and she meant what she said – he didn't even have to listen, but she had to make a few things clear.

"I'm not stupid. Don't say I'm stupid. I'm sorry – I really am sorry Jake – but… I don't feel the same way about you as you do for me. You're right. You have always been there for me. I'll always appreciate that, Jake. It's not like I don't realize it and I'm not grateful. But that doesn't mean… I'll love you the same way. I do love you. But… it's as a friend, Jacob." She didn't want to hurt him. But he was hurting her. He needed to hear this.

It seemed like he didn't want to hear it though. He started to turn away, but Bella grabbed his arm. "And as a friend, you need to understand that I can't help who I do love. And it's Jasper. I love Jasper, Jacob."

Jacob clenched his fists by his sides and tried to block out what she was saying. Was she trying to hurt him? Did she care at all about how he was feeling? She was just rubbing it in. And she just kept going.

"It doesn't matter if he doesn't feel the same about me. It won't change the way I feel about him. Everything you said might have been true in that respect, but you're wrong about the rest. I'm not blind to everything. I see things for what they are. I just... don't see the same things you do, Jake. I'm sorry for that. I… That won't change."

Jacob needed to understand that she didn't feel the same way for him romantically. She hated that it would be hard for him to hear and she felt cruel by setting the story straight, but this couldn't keep happening. Bella meant what she'd said. Even as he got up from the couch and left, angry and hurt by her words, Bella just let him go. There would be no reason to stop him. She couldn't blame him for feeling the way he did; he was entitled to it. If it cost them their friendship, that was… Well, it was sad indeed. But Bella couldn't compromise her own feelings. If Jacob couldn't accept how much she loved Jasper, how much she would always love Jasper, even if the vampire didn't return those feelings after all, then it was best for the two of them not to speak.

With that burden lifted from her shoulders, she could focus on what was important. The most important thing, the only important thing. If he didn't want to see her anymore, then Bella would have to accept that. But she wouldn't accept it coming from Rosalie, or Jacob, or anyone else for that matter.

Just Jasper.

Jasper would need to tell her himself. Until he did, Bella wasn't giving up hope. Her heart wouldn't let her. Because even though it still felt like it was reduced to nothing but scattered pieces of dust, they all migrated to Jasper.

She didn't know what she would do yet – she needed a night to think it over. But one way or another, she would confront it and get closure. Be it positive or negative.

Author's Note: One of the hardest chapters we've ever written hands down. It was so heartbreaking to write that scene with the wedding dress. Now you can see how Rosalie and Jacob both aren't very kind. At all. The next couple of chapters are a whirlwind. If you thought this one was bad, things are only going to get worse, sadly. Next chapter, you'll be introduced to someone from Jasper's past who will be a very prominent part of his future with Bella. And not in a good way.

Maria.

Please let us know what you thought! We like to keep you guessing about what's next and trust us, the next several chapters are really intense. Please remember to review! We love hearing from each and every one of you and it encourages us so much! Cheers!

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