Dreaming Out Loud

OneRepublic

Chapter 6

…..

Alli was shocked as to how professional Marisol could be. She was managing every department well in Katie's absence.

Marisol was proud of herself, but she wanted Katie to be proud of her too. She always envied her best friend for her endurance. She never gave up, even when the odds were against her. That's why so many respected her at this school.

"…..Alli give this announcement to Dave while he is on the air." Marisol said.

"You are making me do this on purpose….why?" Alli looked at the flyer created for the charity wrestling match.

"Because you need to…." Marisol simply said as Alli left.

…..

"Don't worry Katie…you will be back to normal in no time." Her mom reassured her as she sat on the hospital bed. How many tests did they have to run? After what seemed like an eternity, she came back.

"Your knee is going to be ok…but you have to rest for a while….." The doctor stated.

"How long?" Her mother asked. But it wasn't concern for her, but her knee. Her mother wouldn't love her if she wasn't an athlete.

"About a month. Katie…when you get a pain…you can't just ignore it. You have to treat it or else it will get worse." This wasn't what she wanted to hear. She needed soccer. It was her golden ticket out of Toronto…away from her parents. She wanted to start fresh….re-create herself.

"I know you are disappointed but think of it this way…..you have time to do entrance essays, exams, and interviews." They left the doctor's office. Yes, that was what she was looking for.

….

"Alright Degrassians…get at us on any ideas you want to…" Dave stopped as Alli walked into the room.

"….to hear…." Adam took over letting Dave talk to her.

"here is an announcement…" She said handing him the paper.

"Please don't do this…." He grabbed her hand. "Marisol told me to give it to you. I didn't want to...but I did anyways" She said seeing his heart break.

"Ok…." He finally stated taking the flyer.

…..

Fiona didn't know whether to tell Katie or not…they weren't friends…but still she knew. But she also knew Katie was going through something…..like she was, she kept pushing people away. She didn't think anyone could help. She didn't think she could help herself.

Katie could tell Fiona had something to tell her in class. She had this ability to read people, but she didn't want to hear anything today. Everything was accumulating again. She saw how Drew looked at Bianca….she was his constellation prize. The prize his mother would accept. She couldn't play again. The more she kept thinking about it the more her thoughts ran together.

She was losing it again. Her mind was spinning and she couldn't stop it. Walking to the bathroom, she had to do this. This would make it better. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she put her fingers down her mouth…letting it all come out. Everything would be good now. She put two tick tacks in her mouth as she left.

…

Her and Drew had experienced many hugs and kisses but last night's hug was special. They both felt something in it. Drew tried to be a little standoffish towards her, but it wouldn't last. You can't fight your feelings no matter how hard you tried.

….

Clare was happy with Jake, but she was beginning to doubt their relationship. Not because he wasn't faithful to her…but she kept dreaming of another….Eli. She never showed it in the halls how she would look at him when his back was turned….how she would have to stop herself from calling Jake "Eli" at times.

When he found her in the woods, she didn't want him to find her. She didn't want to have to face him. She was still trying to force herself to like Jake.

She knew she did Alli wrong…and even though she was still mad at her…apart of her wanted to forgive her…but what if Alli hurt her again. All the times she saw her in the hallways, she wanted to run up and hug her…but she burned her bridges.

"Clare what's wrong?" Adam asked seeing her in the Zen Garden.

"Nothing…..I just…"

"What you need is fun time….just us….Jake won't mind if I stole you would he?" Clare shook her head. "No…" She smiled.

Adam smiled. He had to get his two best friends together no matter what.

….

Drew kept thinking about how perfect Bianca felt in his arms. Her curls in his fingers….her….

"Katie your back. Why didn't you answer my text….."Drew asked at her locker.

"I must have had it on silent…sorry babe." She kissed his cheek. Drew was kind of taken off guard a little bit. She wasn't usually like this.

"I take it you got good news." He smiled.

"…..real good news….maybe we can go celebrate….." She said. This wasn't like herself, but she didn't want to be like herself anymore. She wanted to be what she envied.

"Attention Degrassi…Battle of the Brawn will soon begin. Come out and make donations to see your favorite classmates duke it out."

"Yes…" Drew cheered. "So are you coming to see your man? He asked knowing she was upset.

"….sure….."

…..

"You didn't tell her did you?" Imogen asked Fiona in the computer.

"Not that it's any of your business…but no….." Fiona snapped.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Imogen asked.

"Because you took advantage of Eli. You are manipulative…and you believe that saying sorry is going to help. The only reason you are speaking to me is because I am friends with him. You probably want me to talk to him for you."

"That was all last year….and by the way…he used me too….Excuse me for loving hard…but I do hate that I hurt him. Let's talk about how you tried to break Declan and Holly J up. Is everyone else in these halls judgmental?" Imogen asked walking off.

….

"Come on Alli….what are you going to do…work for SC until you graduate? Come on, you have fun with your friends…" Adam pleaded.

"Is Dave coming?" She folded her arms

"No" Adam stated crossing his fingers in his mind.

…

"She hates me." Imogen told Bianca as they ate lunch.

"No she doesn't." Bianca ate an apple. "She just doesn't know what to think of you yet…just like you…"

"Easy for you to say….Drew loves you still." Why did she have to say that?

"It doesn't matter…it's who he chooses." Bianca said bittersweetly.

"I know this is wrong for me to say, but you have to do what makes you happy. Sometimes we know what's best for others." The two girls shrugged.

….

Katie sat on the ledge of the roof looking at the ground. Closing her eyes, she saw her life flash before her eyes. She was dying….slowly but surely. She tried to grab onto a lifeline, but she couldn't.

Every time, she opened her mouth to talk, words would not come out. She was too prideful. Why wasn't she good enough for her parents. She got her wish…her knee was busted, but she still had pressure.

It would never go away.

…..

"I think she threw up again." Maya said to Marisol.

"Are you sure. Maybe you are jumping to conclusions. How do know?" Marisol held her books to her chest.

"I know my sister. I know something's up when she doesn't answer my texts. She always always does…what if she didn't throw up. What if she cut herself? She found out today she couldn't play for a month." Maya said in panic.

"Calm down babe…we can't think like this. I'm going to tell Drew." Marisol said.

"Why so he can put her on the backburner for Bianca…no way….."They said in the corner. Julian didn't mean to eavesdrop…but he just happened to be there at that time. Guess Katie wasn't as perfect as she appeared.