You look so fragile I could break
But I try to hold myself
Together for the both of us
But in truth I'm just as scared
I just wanna watch you sleep
As you lie here beside me
So close your eyes I'll guard the door
And when you wake you'll wake with me ;;

(CHAPTER RATED M)

Jasper always had a way of making things seem easier than they were. When he spoke her fears aloud, they sounded silly to Bella's ears. But when she was the one who was admitting to them, they seemed genuine and reasons for true concerns. The brunette couldn't think of an explanation for this save for one: Maybe things were this easy.

Maybe it was possible to just believe what Jasper was saying and let that belief eliminate any concerns that lingered within her. He stated that he touched her in the manner he wished to. One thing Bella hadn't initially considered was the fact that maybe he touched her differently than he had with Maria because, very simply, she was different from Maria. Of course after their talk, she understood that he had reasons for his desperate actions while he was on a course to find something to feel.

But even still, what if he meant what he said?

It really did not have anything to do with the fact that Bella didn't trust him. On the contrary, she trusted Jasper with her life. More importantly though, she trusted him with her heart. It was just that she couldn't grasp how she had gotten so lucky to have him. It might have been true that he wanted her, but it had also been true about what she said; Jasper could have had anyone he wanted. Bella fully believed that, even though he had a lack of confidence as a result of housing so many battle scars. He was such a beautiful person that only someone heartless like the cruel Spanish vixen who created him could see flaws in him. In Bella's eyes, there were none. Could she blame him for thinking lowly of himself? Not if she didn't want to be called a hypocrite. For his sake, she avoided wincing and shaking her head when he referred to her as being beautiful, but on the inside, she still had trouble believing such a thing. That would take time and was something that she would have to decide to do on her own.

She turned her face to nuzzle against his cheek after his cool breath tickled her ear. Her lips brushed against his jawline as they journeyed to his own. "I love you." The hand she was holding brought his fingers to rest against her chest where her heart beat beneath. She held her hand against his and lifted her eyes to meet his gaze.

"Do you feel it?" she asked in a whisper. Bella wasn't so much talking about her actual heartbeat as she was talking about the emotions that were driving it to pump. Her other hand, the one that had been trailing his chest, stopped in the middle where his own heart would have been underneath. "I can," she whispered.

For a few moments more, she held her hands there and kept her eyes locked on his. There was something darker in hers as her heart swelled with longing beneath his fingers. Bella was only able to hold the look another second before she leaned in to close the gap between them to kiss him.

Bella was right in that there were differences in the way he touched her and how he'd touched Maria. There really was nothing similar in how he acted around the two of them. With Maria, there was no love behind his touch. There might have been once, a long time ago, but that time had long since passed. And even then, Jasper was not sure that he ever truly loved Maria, he just thought he did, or tried to. What Bella had seen did not represent an act of love. It had been desperation and a last plea to escape his misery. That didn't make it right and didn't excuse his actions, but they'd talked through that and he hoped it would be something they could put behind them through their healing process.

When Jasper touched Bella, there was nothing but love to guide him. Certainly there was desire, but that was part of his love for her. Every caress, every kiss, every embrace, all were fueled by love. He may have had to be more gentle with her, but the fact remained that he loved her so much that he did take the extra care to make sure he didn't hurt her. If he held her in the same regard as Maria, then he most likely would have neglected the intensity of his strength and likely bruised her at the very least.

Jasper never wanted her to compare herself to Maria, or even to Alice. It was no secret that he and Alice had shared a very strong connection and deep love. Jasper would never try to downplay that, or recall it as anything but what it was. To call it anything less would be a lie. But Bella wasn't Alice, and she wasn't in his life to take her place. Bella had her own place in his heart that he treasured and loved very deeply. Bella was who he wanted to spend all his time with, who he wanted to love endlessly and give all of himself to. That was what he was trying to do, and what he would continue to do for as long as she would let him.

He closed his eyes as she nuzzled him and brushed her lips against his jawline. Jasper let her take his hand and reopened his eyes as she placed it over her chest, then placed her own on his. He listened to her words, unsure of himself. It'd been a long time since he'd been able to feel emotions as he once did. He was able to feel bits and pieces here and there, but the numbness was still present. Now though, as he stayed close to her and kept his hand over her beating heart, he could. It felt as if her own hand was crushing the wall around his heart as it lay against his chest. It didn't come down all the way, but it was enough for him to feel in this moment.

They were kissing again before he could verbally answer, but he hoped his kiss said enough, as well as the rest of his actions. He pulled her back into his lap, and secured his free hand on her hip. Jasper her deeply, kneading his lips against hers and lightly tracing the thumb of his other hand around the curve of her left breast.

It amazed her how it seemed like nothing had happened, like there had been no glitch to interrupt the way they were being so intimate with one another. It was just another way in which Jasper seemed to make everything so much easier than Bella thought it could be. His response to her question didn't need to be audible or spoken aloud. She could tell that he was beginning to feel something. It was true that she could have just been getting confused considering how strongly her own feelings were for him in these moments. But when it all came down to it, how much mattered in terms of the amounts between them? If there was feeling there at all, regardless of who was housing it, that was more than enough. But even still, Bella was sure that she wasn't the only one who felt a pull at her heart the closer they got to one another.

When he pulled her into his lap, she easily molded her body to his. One of her hands gripped the bottom of her water-logged dress and hiked it around her waist beneath the water so she could straddle his thighs once more effectively. It was right where they'd left off before her actions had become bold enough that they spawned a disconnect between them and a wave of insecurities on her part. Even though she trusted him and listened to when he'd assured her that he wanted her – exactly as she was, no matter how 'fragile' she might have been – it was different when she could actually experience it through his actions.

Bella was torn on whether or not she liked the way the water toyed with the temperature of Jasper's skin. On one hand, it was as she had commented earlier – they felt the same. As she moved her hands along his chest, she took great care in appreciating this. She let her fingers trace over the muscles that centered in his abdomen, tracing idle patterns as she explored the smooth expanse of skin. On the other hand, the warm water took away from the prominence of the chill of his own fingers. She could still feel that they were colder, of course, but Bella learned that she liked the chill of them. She knew Jasper would have disagreed as she remembered what he said once about wishing he could feel warm to her. But Bella loved the way the cold allowed her to be fully aware of where his fingers were on her body. Especially when he touched more intimate areas as he did when he thumb grazed her breast, she reacted in a way that was stronger than she would have perhaps if his hands were warm. Of course, his touch still would have felt just as good and would have elicited a positive response either way to be certain. But the added spice of his fingers being cold caused shivers up her spine, despite being encased in the hot water.

One of her hands moved to cup his cheek as they continued to kiss, sliding back to move into his hair and pulling his lips closer to her. But the other remained where it was, left to explore his torso. She traced it up his chest then let it run back down his side, squeezing his hip right above his pajama bottoms where his skin met the fabric. For a moment, she was content in letting her fingers marvel at the way the cool marble changed into clingy, wet cotton. At one point when he moved his mouth against hers, she expelled a sigh against his lips and twisted her fingers around the garment at the waistband.

Jasper had realized in these intimate moments that it didn't matter if his power had gone dormant. He could still feel what Bella was feeling as anyone could in this sort of situation. He did not need supernatural abilities to know whether he was making her feel good or not. He actually found it much more satisfying that he was able to please her without relying on his ability so much. Somehow, it just felt more genuine that way. He did miss the connection he felt with her by being able to feel her moods and emotions directly, but he knew he'd recover his ability again. The wall around his heart was stripping down, one stone at a time.

Her body felt like fire beneath his hand, as her usual body heat had ignited from the water temperature. Jasper also hoped her warmth was due to what he was doing to her. He wanted so badly to be touching her skin, and not fabric. He knew it was nothing for him to tear her dress down the middle, but he also didn't want to scare her, so he used the zipper in the back. It didn't take long for him to navigate it down, even in the water. Once it was unzipped, he pushed the straps down over her shoulders. Before it could go much further, he broke their kiss and trailed a line of them down the side of her neck, to her collar bone. He lightly massaged her breast with his hand, as his lips moved to the opposite side.

He pushed the top of the dress down further, revealing her bra. He looked up at Bella, wanting to make sure he hadn't upset her somehow. He couldn't sense any, so he wasn't certain, but it seemed that she wasn't uncomfortable at all. Jasper moved his hand along her bare thigh just as he'd done before, all the while kissing along her upper body. He was intoxicated with her, wanting her and needing her so badly. He let his hand stray up, trailing his fingers along the waistband of her panties. Jasper's own breathing had spend up, fueled by the anticipation he felt as Bella twisted her fingers around his pants. He was painfully aroused by this point, and it probably should have been very obvious to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, wanting to make sure she wasn't feeling pressured into this and that she would be loved no matter what. She was his main concern and her happiness and well-being meant everything to him. If Bella wasn't ready for him to be touching her like this, then he wouldn't. It was as simple as that.

But he hoped she did. God, he hoped she did.

Was she okay?

Bella could have actually laughed at the question. She was more than okay. She felt wonderful. That feeling was only strengthened by the fact that he asked. Surely, he had to have some idea of the positive reaction he was having on her by the simple way her body eagerly pushed against his own. But Jasper still took the time to make sure that she was all right. That touched her heart and his consideration would not go unappreciated.

"Yes," she uttered quietly.

Bella was still reveling in the way everything felt. New touches were being introduced. Braver, more strategically placed touches. Her skin burned where his lips brushed against her neck and her collarbone. It was a strange thing considering the facts. His mouth was cold and when it moved against her newly exposed skin, it left a chilled trail in its wake. That should have left her having goosebumps if anything, but instead, it felt like Jasper's lips were open flames that were being drawn across her skin. It was a delicious sort of burn, though, and one that Bella didn't want to extinguish even if she couldn't fully explain it. Her back arched when his hand moved over her breast, pressing herself against his palm. She quickly learned that she liked the way his skin felt when it was against hers and with her dress pushed lower, Bella was getting a better taste of such a delight. The fabric from the garment was bunching, however and the ways the straps were hooked around her elbows now made it more difficult to move quite so freely. That certainly wouldn't do.

Regretfully pulling back from him slightly, Bella moved her hands to the bottom of the dress. Wriggling a bit – which, nearly caused her to be distracted enough to forget about the dress all together for the way it created friction with Jasper's pelvis – she pulled the garment over her head and tossed it over the side of the hot tub. It weighed about three times what it normally did, soaked through completely from the water and thus, when Bella was free from it she felt immensely more comfortable.

This was the most exposed she'd ever been in front of Jasper. It was slightly nerve-wracking. Or rather, it would have been nerve-wracking if she were paying attention to that fact as opposed to the one that caused her to realize the difference in skin to skin contact she had with him sans dress. She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her and for a moment, Bella did nothing except to relish the way Jasper's chest felt pressed against hers, torso to torso. A moment was all she could spare though since she was aware of his hands and thus, she was beginning to feel anxious.

It was increasingly difficult for Bella to keep her hips still. She could feel how aroused Jasper was, especially with her dress completely missing now, and thus she could not seem to keep her lower half from rubbing against his. And like keeping her hips in one place, it was getting much harder to breathe as well. Her breaths were shorter, coming and going in warm puffs near his ear as her fingers thread through his hair. She used them there to help angle his face upward slightly so she could kiss him, rising up slightly on her knees as her hands moved around to hold his face. When Bella was confident that Jasper would not stray too far from the kiss, she let her hands run back down his sides and settle by his hips.

When the dress came off, Jasper could not help but look at her. He'd never seen this much of her before; he'd only just barely let his hands tread in that territory beneath fabric up until now. He thought Bella was so beautiful, and upon seeing even more of her, he knew he was right. He wanted to tell her, but he knew how she had a difficult time receiving compliments and he did not want to make her self-conscious right now. So he would show her with his actions instead. Jasper ran his hands all over her, tracing every curve and caressing her skin with is fingertips.

Everywhere she touched felt like she was drawing fire with her fingers. Even in this moment of passion, her fingertips felt so soft against his skin. Jasper could not help but sigh against her lips as they kissed. As Bella's hips rolled against his, he gasped and clutched her against him which only made the sensation stronger. They were at the point of no return. If she wanted to stop, this was where he needed her to tell him that. Her confirmation that she wasn't uncomfortable was something he needed before he could continue, and when she gave it to him he was very, very relieved. Not only because he knew now he could proceed to hopefully bring her even more pleasure, but also because he wanted her to feel good and it made him happy that she was so comfortable with his touch.

Jasper kissed her deeply, savoring what he could taste of her mouth. The hand that wasn't teasing just beneath her panties was tracing the curve of her spine before that arm locked around the small of her back to keep her braced upward as she was. He broke the kiss, only to trail his lips up along her delicate jaw. When he reached her ear, Jasper kissed along the shell of it before whispering, "I love you."

As he did, his hand dipped down between her legs beneath the undergarment and he brushed his index finger along her entrance. Any heat he'd felt before could not compare to what he felt now. Jasper moaned softly against her ear and gently sought out that sensitive bundle of nerves that he knew would bring her pleasure and work her up to allow him to proceed further.

Jasper's touches were gentle. But the way that he touched her when she was free of the dress didn't make her think it was on account of the fact that she was so fragile; that wasn't the reason his fingers moved in such a careful way. Instead, to Bella, it felt like he was just appreciating her as she was. It had nothing to do with the fact that he had to be somewhat cautious, but rather, in the way he made it seem, it was as if he were cherishing something simply because he was fond of it.

That was something that made Bella happy. She was still convinced that he would have no idea of just how in awe she was that he was allowing all of this intimacy. Everything she had known in the past was about boundaries and caution, ending things before she could even fully grasp them and give them a full appreciation. It, of course, had been a frustrating element, but it was one that she endured for the sake of love.

She would have done the very same for Jasper. If he didn't want to risk injury for the sake of intimacy, Bella would have respected that. But she was grateful that such was not the case. She could tell him a hundred times that she loved him. She could do a thousand other things in an effort to show him just how much. But this was a different, physical way of doing so. It meant a lot to her that she was able to experience these things with him, especially since most of them were for the very first time. There was no time to think about insecurities, though it was still a wonder how she wasn't feeling any at the moment. It was just another testament to how much of an effect he had on her – a dizzying one that made it quite difficult to dwell in the negative.

Bella was feeling anything but negativity when Jasper whispered he loved her. His breath sent a shiver up her spine in the way it tickled her ear. But then again, that could have had more to do with the preoccupation of his fingers. When they dipped beneath her underwear, her lower body tensed and she jumped initially. It wasn't because anything was wrong, but rather, because it tickled. Because she hadn't expected that sort of effect, it caused the tension. But it also caused a giggle to be pulled from her lips, one that was quite shy.

"You found another ticklish spot," she whispered to explain, not wanting him to think that she didn't like what he was doing.

If that hadn't been obvious enough, it was not even a question when his fingers moved against her. Bella sucked in a gasp when he touched her, soon to be followed by a moan that matched his own. The way the sound vibrated against her ear was enough to send a shock though her alone, but paired with the sensation of his finger against that little sensitive spot, Bella felt the breath leave her body completely.

Her eyes closed and she let her body react naturally. Her hips moved against his hand and her hands own clutched Jasper's sides. Each time she moved, it seemed like a sound of some kind was emitted from her lips, but she occupied them with kissing him. Bella wanted to make him well aware of how much she was enjoying what he was doing and the passion that read through the liplock was a strong indicator.

Jasper had been anticipating an initial reaction somewhat like the one he received from his advances. He understood the female form very well, and its sensitivities. Though no two women were exactly the same, he knew she'd perk in some way, and she had. It was just a relief to see that it was in a positive way. He smiled as Bella giggled and could see her flushed cheeks as she smiled shyly at him. It was very endearing, really, and he was quite honored to be the first to touch her in such a way. He hadn't been positive that he was, but now he was fairly certain Edward had never crossed this bridge with Bella.

He nuzzled her cheek after she told him he'd found a ticklish spot, then watched her through half-lidded eyes as she let her body take over her reactions to his movement. Jasper stroked the pad of his finger in a slow, circular motion, increasing the pressure of his touch. He readjusted the arm that had been around her so that hand could splay over her back. He let the fingertips of that hand lightly stroke her skin and curl around her wet hair. As their lips met in a deep, passionate kiss, he readjusted the hand that was pleasuring her, sliding his index finger inside of her. Jasper moaned softly against her lips and could not help but move his hips against her thigh.

His concern right now was only about her pleasure, but that last action had been instinctual. He wanted to make love to her, but he knew that was something that they had to move slowly towards. It would be best for them to progress to that, and beyond that, Jasper did not want to engage in that act until all the stones had fallen away from his heart. He was so close to that point, which was why he was indulging in the desire he was able to feel now. He started to move his finger inside of her, curling it each time he was about to withdraw it.

The sensations Bella was feeling were unlike any that she had experienced before. It was dizzying that she housed similar feelings before while she was in the presence of Jasper, and yet this was different. It was physical. The setting of the hot tub made her feel weightless in the water and thus, it was easier to move. She wasn't going very far, nor did she have a desire to, but in the close proximity that she created with him, she was enjoying the way it felt to experimentally move her body against his.

It was even more encouraging when he slipped his finger inside of her. Bella could feel her muscles clench again, but it was sort of as if she were welcoming him. And she was. The way he was pleasuring her was indescribable. Her back arched, each time it did causing her breasts to press against his chest. Despite that they were still encased in the thin fabric of her bra, there was no lacking as far as the sensitivity of how good it felt to be pressed against his skin was concerned. The hands that had been near his middle moved to Jasper's hair, fingers threading through the curly locks as they kissed.

As much as she loved kissing him and was content in doing so for hours upon hours, Bella was learning it was difficult to maintain a proper liplock when his ministrations were causing her to gasp for breath every few seconds. It didn't help when he would moan against her mouth which immediately sent a rush of blood to her nether regions. The same thing occurred when he pushed his hips against her thigh, an action that caused a groan from her lips as well. She was forced to pull away from Jasper's mouth in order to try and breathe properly, but it was still difficult even then.

Though Bella liked how it felt when he would rock against her hips, it wasn't enough. As her lips pressed to the side of his neck in lazy, open-mouth kisses that allowed her to catch her breath, one of her hands slipped from his hair to move down his side. It drifted between his legs and her palm came to rest on the bulge in his pajama bottoms. She couldn't help but to groan again as she started to stroke him through the wet fabric.

"Jasper…" she whispered against his skin.

Jasper had certainly not expected anything like this to happen between them that day. It was no secret between them that they were heading down this path, as their kisses had gradually become more fiery, their embraces more passionate, their caresses more sensual, even the way they positioned themselves on the couch or in bed, all spoke volumes of their eventual intentions. Still, he had not permitted himself to presume anything about it. He wasn't sure how he'd imagined such an intimate exchange to play out.

Ideally he would have taken her to bed, allowing her to get comfortable before he touched her in such a way. But this, just like their first confession of love to each other, was perfect in that it wasn't planned. They'd been playing, having fun and just enjoying each other before things shifted in this direction. It couldn't have been more perfect for him.

The way Jasper was holding her, it would allow Bella to move as her body desired and at the same time kept her balanced in his lap. With his hand and arm bracing her arched back, it also would be a constant reminder that he had her, that she was safe and secure, that he was there with her. He continued to move his finger within her, pausing only to add a second. He worked his fingers inside of her, feeling her inner muscles squeeze around them. Imagining how that would have felt around another part of his body sent a jolt of pleasure down to his already hardened length. Jasper groaned against her hair, pressing his palm against the sensitive nub he'd been stroking before and rubbing against it.

He'd been so focused on her pleasure, that Jasper had not noticed Bella's hand sliding down until he felt heat pressing against his arousal. It caused him to hold onto her a little tighter and a sharp gasp to escape his lips. He'd never felt anything like that before. When she started stroking him, Jasper groaned again and couldn't help but move his hips against her hand. He didn't want her to feel she had to be returning the pleasure to him right now (or ever, for that matter); he just wanted her to focus on her own.

But he wouldn't deny that it felt amazing. The friction his pajamas were causing along with the heat of her hand caused a knot to start tying in his stomach. His name falling off her lips was just another thing to drive him on. Jasper moved his hand a bit faster against her, applying pressure with his palm. He wanted to hear more of her sounds, to watch her reach the brink of ecstasy and give in to her pleasure.

"Bella.." he murmured, nuzzling her hair.

Bella would never feel like he was putting pressure on her to do something that she didn't want to do. Quite simply, the fact of the matter was that she wanted to do all of these. She wanted, more than anything else, actually, for Jasper to feel good and to be the one that was enabling that for him.

But this was where her insecurities started to play in and register with her. Because she had never done this before, she worried that she was doing it wrong. If all she wanted to do was please him, it made her worry that she had no previous experience with things of such a sexual nature and thus, was not confident in the way she reacted to him. It didn't help matters that Jasper was no stranger to sexual encounters and Bella fully was aware of the fact (even though they had never discussed their sexual pasts aloud) that he had a great deal of wisdom under his belt considering his previous relationships. If anything, that was what put pressure on her – the need to want to be able to live up to what he'd known in the past. Especially since Bella was enjoying herself so much because of everything he was doing to her.

She soon learned, though, that she could find encouragement in the way he pressed his hips against her hand upon feeling her touch. She also learned that, as much as she liked the way he was touching her, she liked touching him just as much. It was exciting for her to feel the way Jasper's body reacted just from the brush of her fingers. His positive response was enough to cause her to be braver with her actions and the hand that had been stroking him above his pajama pants slipped inside the waistband of them to have direct contact with his arousal. The sensation of the newly found skin caused her to groan. Experimentally, she stroked him, exploring the territory. But it was a lot more haphazard than perhaps she would have done if he wasn't working his fingers within her. With the addition of the second one, it was much harder to combat the dizziness she felt. As much as she wanted to concentrate on making him feel good and doing a satisfactory job of pleasing him with the way she was touching him, it was not to the best of her ability for certain.

That didn't matter, however. Just the feel of him beneath her palm was enough to intensify her own pleasure. When his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot, Bella gasped, instinctively pushing against his hand. Her own squeezed his length between her fingers, perhaps a bit tighter than she realized. But Bella couldn't focus on much else when the pressure of his hand and the way he worked her brought her to a point where her entire body seemed like it was on fire.

She closed her eyes tightly, unable to keep from crying out when she was overtaken with ecstasy. Her body trembled against his and as her climax played out, Bella leaned her head against his shoulder, failing to even keep her eyes open to look at him for how consumed with pleasure she was. Her groans quieted after a minute, melting into his name on her lips that she pressed to his skin.

He still could not rely on his powers, and thus Jasper had to use his instincts to tell what was pleasing her, and how she was feeling throughout this exchange. The sounds she was making were a good indication that he was doing something right, as were the movements and reactions of her body. Yes, it was true that Jasper had quite a bit of experience in this area; though he'd only been intimate with two women prior to Bella, both relationships had been long-lasting (abusive or not). However, Jasper had learned a long time ago that no two women were alike. What pleased one might not please another. Different areas on the body were especially sensitive. Therefore, he could not base specific actions on his experience.

Bella was an especially new experience for him. It was almost like his first time all over again (only much more intimate, and much more meaningful). He had never had such an exchange with a human. Up until this point, he wasn't even sure he'd be able to be so close to her. All the changes in blood flow, the increase of her heart rate, and the rise in heat of her body temperature were all things that concerned him. He feared how he would be able to handle it, but because this had all happened so fast without any prior planning, he put himself into the situation without realizing it. Once it happened, he had no choice but to control himself; he would never, ever allow himself to hurt her. He just feared that if he let go, and gave in to his desires, that he'd be unable to rein himself back in.

There was no turning back now, though. They were far beyond that point.

When Bella reached her climax, Jasper stopped breathing. Not only because of his fear that he'd lose his control in the rush of the moment, but also because the sight was absolutely breath-taking. He watched as her eyes shut tightly and her body was racked with trembles. He knew she'd reached her peak and he did not stop with his hand motion. He wanted to make sure she rode out each wave of pleasure as it washed over her. Jasper himself had been taken with how she'd wrapped her fingers around his length, but focused more on her for now. He'd never forget that sight, not for all eternity.

He wanted Bella to touch him, to bring him to that point too. He would've been crazy not to want that, especially with how incredible it felt to have the heat of her hand rubbing against his arousal. But Jasper was afraid, even now after he'd been able to control himself throughout the duration of her climax. He was afraid he'd clutch her too tightly, or worse, bite her because he couldn't control himself through his. Still, he couldn't bring himself to draw her hand away. He wanted - needed her - too much by now. Instead, he slowly withdrew his own hand to join the other around her back. He held her against him as she laid her hand against his shoulder and kissed her hair.

"I love you," he whispered softly against the soft, damp strands.

For a minute or so, Bella couldn't move. At least, not voluntarily. Her body was still trembling quietly as an after effect of her climax, but aside from that, she couldn't seem to lift her limbs. For that minute, she felt deliciously lethargic, comfortable in just resting against him. Jasper's word drifted to her ears and were the sweetest sound amidst the murmurs of her heartbeat slowing down and her breathing coming back down to some calmer semblance of order.

"I love you too," she whispered, kissing his shoulder. Her lips trailed across his collarbone to his neck in a lazy pattern, focusing her attention there for a moment before she kissed them upward to his lips. "So much," said added against them.

Bella was slightly in awe of the effect he had on her in every possible way, the physical aspect being the newest one. The way she loved him only intensified. It didn't seem possible, but it was a truth nonetheless.

She kissed him then, slowly at first, but then progressing to something more passion-driven once she regained a bit of her strength and her mind didn't seem so hazy anymore. In the midst of it, the rest of her body started to move. Most notably, the hand that had momentarily stilled on his arousal started to stroke him again. This time, Bella wasn't so distracted and therefore, could focus her full attention to what she was doing. She couldn't get over the way he felt beneath her fingers. Smooth, hard, just like the rest of him, but somehow… different. It came with the exiting new territory and the fact that by touching him so intimately, Bella knew she could bring him pleasure. That was enough to put some of her insecurities to a rest.

Still though, her motions were slow. Her fingertips trailed the length of his erection from base to tip and then dipped back down. In the water, her fingers were feather-light and she didn't put any pressure to them until a short while later. Shifting her body, Bella moved backwards on his lap a bit in order to put some space between them for her to have better access to Jasper's lower region. Slowly, her fingers wrapped around his arousal, and she stroked him fully with her palm. It didn't take her long before she found some sort of steady rhythm in doing so. Despite feeling slightly more confident, she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Is this okay?" she whispered, not wanting to do anything he was either uncomfortable with or that he didn't enjoy.

Jasper smiled as she whispered her words of love for him and closed his eyes. The touch of her lips to his shoulder, trailing to his collarbone, sent chills down his spine. They were warm chills, heating up his otherwise cold interior. He would have tilted his head back, but her lips found his first. She kissed him and he eagerly kissed her back. He was pleasantly surprised at how quickly she recovered from her climax; Bella must have had more stamina than he realized. That was something he'd play around with later. Right now, he just wanted to kiss her, so he did. Jasper kissed her deeply, stroking her back and curling his fingers in her hair.

Though she'd momentarily paused in her hand motion, Jasper had been very aware of its presence against his erection. The constant heat and pressure had been a very nice reminder. When she started to move her hand again, he very nearly bit his lip. He had to refrain, not wanting to scar himself there. It was unlike any pleasure he'd ever felt before. Jasper was careful not to clutch onto her too tightly, as he did not want to bruise her or pull her hair. The added heat and rush of water around them just added to the sensations he was feeling. He squeezed his eyes shut and gasped, moving his hips against her hand to create more friction against his arousal.

Her question almost made him laugh. He did smile between his gasps for air, though. Was it okay? It was more than okay. His eyes opened to meet her gaze. "Y-Yes, Bella," he whispered, then buried his face in her hair and moaned softly. He locked his hands at the small of her back and moved his hips in time with the rhythm she'd started.

"So.. good.."

After murmuring those words, his speech mostly left him. All he could do was let his body react to her touch in movements, gasps, and clutching onto her. This would be the strongest test of his control yet. He was allowing Bella to take him into a state of complete vulnerability and lack of control over his body. He didn't know what would happen, but it was rapidly approaching and all he could do was hope his love was strong enough to see him through it without any disastrous results. It might have been a little selfish of him; he really should have just brought this to a close before they reached this point and kept her out of danger. But it was such an important step, and they'd gotten there before he even realized it.

A few more moments of the constant pressure and friction against his erection and Jasper felt the knot in his stomach tighten to the point where he was nearly bucking his hips against her hand. When he finally did reach his peak, he forced his head back away from her, keeping his teeth out of range of her neck. He groaned as his release spilled and his climax washed over his body, riding it out until he finally let his forehead come to rest against Bella's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her to embrace her fully, while his body trembled against her.

Bella felt that this was just as much of a pleasurable experience for her as it was for Jasper. She couldn't take her eyes away from his face. Every twitch of his lips, every flutter of his eyelids was something that she committed to memory. He looked, in a word, beautiful. He was so unguarded, so free of any other hindering thoughts. It was how Bella saw him react so often when the two of them were together, but the side of him that she also knew many people aside from his family saw. Away from the stoicism, away from the always proper façade. He was just Jasper.

When he confirmed that what she was doing was all right, the way his voice sounded was enough to make Bella feel dizzy all over again. He was so intoxicating. She really didn't think he would ever fully know the effect he had on her when he was doing something as simply as answering a question. It was easier when his hips started moving with her hand. It allowed her to get a better handle on the way she was pumping him and it gave her a surge of confidence to continue in the same manner, especially when Jasper would make a sound to accompany his motions. When his hips started moving more erratically, her fingers tightened around him slightly and her other came to hold onto one of his hips until he finished.

Her fingers gently stroked him as he started to come down from his climax and when his body settled enough to wrap his arms around her, Bella brought both of her arms around his neck, one hand gently rubbing the nape of it to soothe him from his trembling. For a little while, she didn't say anything. She was still trying to get her head around what had just happened. Less than an hour before, the two of them were running around the cabin as if they were kids and now they just got through sharing something incredibly intimate. It was strange how things could so easily move in a different direction.

Pulling him closer, Bella hugged him to herself, nuzzling her face against his neck and closing her eyes to breathe in his scent. The water didn't seem to have diluted it at all and it was just as powerful as ever to act as a comfort to her.

"How do you feel?" she asked quietly, kissing the spot just below his ear.

How he felt was important to her since she knew Jasper had been struggling with it since everything negative that had unfolded not that long ago in terms of Maria and Jacob. All she wanted was for him to feel like himself again and a huge factor in doing so was to break through whatever was keeping him from feeling anything.

Jasper had never really felt like this before. It was unlike any other intimate moment he'd ever experienced in his life. That was because he'd never been intimate like this with Bella before, but he did hope they'd be able to do it again. After the initial intense rush that his climax had given him, Jasper had come back down to earth as he laid his head against her shoulder. He still felt dizzy, but very warm all over. It was very different; he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt warm, or if he even could recall what being warm was really like until now. He was savoring it as much as he could, cuddling up to her even though she was the one in his lap.

When he'd lost his ability to feel, it had left a seriously detrimental effect on Jasper. For him to suddenly be unable to rely on his primary ability to function, it was very difficult for him to do much of anything at all. Once he'd reunited with Bella, it got better. He was able to feel bits and pieces of emotions here and there, enough for him to get through the day somewhat normally. Gradually he felt more and more, but there was still a barrier around his heart that prevented him from feeling what she was feeling, from being able to feel her happiness, her sadness, her love. That had been the most difficult part of all. All he wanted was to love her and feel her love for him. The only good thing about it all was that since he wasn't able to do so in his usual way, he had been able to tap into other outlets. It had also caused his trust in her to strengthen even more.

As he embraced her, he could feel and hear her heart beating in her chest. He knew the sound well, and it no longer haunted him the way it did in the past. Jasper was so relieved he had not harmed her, had not killed her during this moment together. The sound of her heart was proof of that. The sound was beautiful, like music. It sounded like it was calling out to his own, in a way. His heart had long since stilled, but the stone around it had begun chipping away as if to answer her heart's call. Jasper could almost physically feel as the last of the barrier slipped away. The emotions he felt as a result were like a whole other rush of feelings flooding through him. He could feel everything, and subconsciously held her closer in the process.

"Feel for yourself," he whispered.

As he held her in his arms, he lifted his head and smiled at her, then kissed her softly. While his lips were pressed to hers, he allowed her to feel everything that he was feeling. She'd be able to feel his love, his relief, his happiness, and even a bit of the afterglow he still had over him after the intimacy.

"I love you so much," he murmured against her lips, then kissed her deeply again.

Author's Note: We hope you liked this chapter! Bella and Jasper are definitely getting closer! And now, after everything that happened, he's able to feel again. The next chapter is a lot of fun and it shows a much lighter side to their relationship when Bella and Jasper visit a carnival! Please remember to review and follow the story! The more reviews we get, the sooner we post our chapters :D Cheers!

Lyrics: In My Arms - Snow Patrol