Love the Way you Lie

Eminem ft. Rihanna

Chapter 10

….

Katie knew something was on Drew's mind as he drove her to Julian's house. She hated the silence. It always made her think about her failures…..her bulimia….the three times she did it today. She was losing her emotions….and it was harder to act as if everything was alright. Drew chose to look over her appearance, she was paler than normal…and weaker than usual too…

"I'll see you later….." Drew said as she walked to the door. He didn't even wait to see her walk inside. Her knee was hurting and she was feeling light-headed. Holding onto the railing of the stairs she took a deep breath as she rang the door bell.

Julian opened the door coming from taking a shower. In three seconds, he was about to let the girl of his nightmares into his home…what he found behind the door…was even worse. She looked scared. Her eyes were tired…but she tried to hide it behind her icy mask.

"Drew says hi." She walked herself in the house. She had to pace herself because she would fall if not. Seeing the couch, she almost fell into the seat.

Julian said nothing but made his way in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" she saw him leave her in the living room.

"Fixing you something to eat. I heard your stomach growl." He fixed her some left over homemade soup in bowl.

"I don't need it…I'm not…." She hated herself for being caught in a lie.

"Yes you are….you know your hungry…just eat…." Katie didn't feel like arguing as she ate the soup. It was really good, she couldn't put it down.

He watched her eat…and he felt sorry for her. He knew she would have hated it if he said it aloud…but he wouldn't wish this life on anyone.

Katie felt his eyes on her….judging her….making her feel even more insecure.

"Say it…I know you want to….how I can be so weak…how I can crumble so easily."

"I just don't understand how you can take it out on yourself like this. You need to stop." He said fixing her another bowl as Katie decided to follow him.

"How can you say it like that? It's not easy. I am so sick…of people…always judging me like this. Always thinking they have the solution to every problem. I am so sick of screaming on the inside…" She began to cry again gripping the counter.

"I know its not easy….trust me I do….but you don't give people enough credit either…you walk around as if you are better than them…..you act like you are this tough…when you're not. I see right through you it's like you don't even know what's good for you…you've been brainwashed…that you don't even see what others see."

"I know what others see…and I hate it...I hate it…you see an egotistical, overbearing girl who doesn't care about people's feelings what so ever….but I do have a heart. I don't know how to show it…." She gripped tightly.

"You're showing it now…" He said as he walked to her. She became scared. Her heart was beating…but what for?

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to take you back to the couch." He picked her up setting her down. How could Julian see her fragile state while Drew saw it and said nothing.

….

"Now that our parents are gone, we can finish talking….." Jake said as moved Clare to the couch…kissing her.

Clare enjoyed kissing him, but they weren't the same to her anymore. Their relationship wasn't the same to her anymore. She realized all they did do was kiss. She was in love with wanting to be in love…but she wasn't in love with Jake.

Pushing him back, she took a deep breath.

"It took your breath away didn't it?" Jake smugly put his arm around her.

"yeah…." She only said not wanting to say the truth out loud.

…

After she calmed down, Katie looked around his house.

"I know this isn't what you are used to seeing….." He said shrugging.

"No…..this house looks like a home." She smiled gently seeing the millions of photographs upon the wall and the different rugs on the floors.

"Yeah…a home that it is." He smirked.

"no really, the furniture invites you to sit down. There is love here…not in my home. The only love I feel is from Maya. She such a good sister. She it trying to help me…but I'm scared Julian."

"Katie, its ok to be scared." He touched her shoulder.

"You say that but not for…to live your life one way for so long…and then to maintain that change…it is scary. My disorder is something I will always deal with…and it makes me angrier that I gave into again. I want to change. I don't want to run…but when things get worse…I find myself in the bathroom stall. Just the thought flushing would give me peace of mind…."

"That's what I'm trying to say…you have to stop. You have to surround yourself in a healthy environment." He stated.

"Yeah…." She nodded.

"Did you like the soup?" He asked.

"Yes….." She said softly…glad that her head wasn't spinning. Julian was right. She had to fight this…

…

"Hey….have you seen Drew?" Bianca asked seeing Dave and Alli in the radio room. Of course she had another detention…but she needed to see him.

She was torn. She didn't want him to hurt Katie…at all. That's how she knew she was changing.

Any other time, she would not have cared about kissing someone else's boyfriend…but this time she did. She didn't want to force herself on Drew. She didn't want him to feel obligated to be with her.

"No….we haven't….."Dave shrugged knowing the situation at hand as Drew walked up behind her.

"Can we talk somewhere?" He guided them to the steps.

"Look….Drew I love you…you are the best thing that has ever happened to me….but I don't think we are meant to be…."

"So that kiss in the library…..it meant something to me….." Drew said.

"All I'm saying is that if we are meant to be together… I want us to happen because we want each other…not because Katie isn't giving you the attention you need.

"B I kissed you because I love you too. Nothing can change that. Even if Katie wasn't in the picture, this would have happened. Sometimes people grow apart….but I don't want us to grow apart."

….

"Julian….I don't want any more soup." She laughed as he handed her a Coke.

"Don't look at the nutrition label." He said with frank. "Just drink it."

"Ok…"She said not realizing how hard it was for her to drink it until it went down her throat. Julian found himself glad that she was opening up to him…but he shouldn't feel like this…at all. They were two totally different people.

"How about we finish this project." He tried to change the subject to something lighter.

"Julian talking about school work….shocker." They both chuckled.

"I'll let you have that one." Julian smiled at Katie as she smiled back…..turning on her laptop.

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