Autobiography

Ashlee Simpson

Chapter 12

…

What turned to be one day from seeing each other, turned into two weeks. Katie just needed not to be around him…not when she was this confused. She wasn't the girl who jumped from guy to guy like that. She had to figure out where her feelings were coming from. She hated seeing him walk down the halls…their eyes would connect…but she felt even stranger.

She should feel awkward seeing Drew and Bianca together. But it didn't bother her that much anymore. Deep down, she knew it was going to happen. People would always ask her if she was alright….and she was tired of it. Relationships start and end all the time. She hated being seen as the victim.

But on a good note, she was managing not to throw up…..as much…..just once every other day. Her mother being away for a business trip really helped. As she filled out college applications, she didn't feel a big weight on her chest.

…..

"Go check up on her Drew…." Bianca saw Katie sitting in the hallway….scribbling.

"She's a big girl…" Drew said…seeing a change in Bianca. She actually cared for others now.

"Don't give me that look." Bianca grinned. "I do have a heart, ya know. I just don't want her to not get closure." She shrugged.

"Katie can handle anything…..ok….give her some credit." Drew kissed her walking her to class.

…

"Does this mean that we are friends again?" Clare said as Alli sat next to her in the newspaper room.

"As long as Jake isn't around…" Alli ate her fruit cup. "So what has been going on in your life?"

"Nuthing much…I want to be newspaper editor….but Katie flipped when I told her." Clare shrugged. "Was I wrong?"

"A little bit…I get why you two don't get along. You guys are so much alike. You live to accomplish…but some things can wait. You can be editor your senior year."

"Yeah…you are right….so what's with you."

"…besides the fact that Jenna is upset that I hang out with Marisol…not even hang out with her…but consider her an associate….nothing." Clare laughed at this.

"She does have a point…but you two are on Student Council…."

"Jenna has been keeping a low profile…a very low profile."

"She'll be ok" Clare grabbed her hand smiling.

…..

Looking at her watch, Katie realized she had a meeting with Coach Armstong in 5 minutes. Grabbing her notepad and paper, she went to his office. Thankfully this meeting was during his planning period.

As Katie walked inside, she saw what she didn't want to see…..Julian changing. She almost dropped her stuff as she eyed his muscles. His chest was perfect…..

He saw her look at him, as much as he liked it, he didn't acknowledge her as he walked past her.

"Wait Julian…." She stopped him grabbing his arm.

"Yeah….." He asked.

"Ummmm can we…"

"Tonight….." He finished for her, he knew it was hard for her to say it.

"Good…." They said as Coach Armstrong interrupted their moment.

…..

"Does this mean I am the third wheel?" Eli came in seeing the girls laugh.

"It's good to see this again." Eli said. "Fiona and Imogen are my friends but sometimes I feel as if I am interrupting or disrupting a vibe."

"Maybe you are?" Clare shrugged.

"yeah right." Eli brushed the statement off sitting down.

…..

Fiona realized that she could tell Imogen anything. She was truly a non-judgmental person. She had never met anyone like her.

"What are you thinking about?" Imogen asked her admiring the wind blowing in Fiona's hair as they sat on the roof.

"Just about how afraid of you I was." Fiona noticed her saddened expression.

"…not now…I mean…I know you. You are just different. You move to the rhythm of your own drum."

"That's what makes me…me….sometimes I wish I could be normal…fit in…."

"Well if it means anything….I wouldn't change you for anything." Fiona hugged her as Imogen rubbed her back. She didn't know why this made her blush or why the butterflies in her stomach were getting bigger.

….

Why couldn't Alli have stayed with her when Eli was around her. It was getting harder to be around him. She kept thinking of touching him…..she could barely pay attention to anything he said because she kept staring at his lips.

Eli was on the brink of losing control. What was right in front of him, he couldn't have. He didn't care about Jake.

"I need to get back writing this article." She said as she walked back to the computer. Eli didn't let that stop him. Something just clicked inside his head. He wanted her to be his.

Clare sat at the computer, typing…..trying to not notice how his green eyes stared at her. Walking up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her.

"Eli…I have a boyfriend….." she began to shake.

"But you don't want him like you want me….." He kissed her neck gently as she began to relax. Eli sucked on her pulse point…making her moan and quiver.

"Eli…" she moaned as he turned her around kissing her.

"I miss you so much…" he said.

"Me too….." Clare closed the gap between them. She missed how his tongue tasted his mouth. She squeaked as he bit her bottom lip.

"I knew it!" Adam yelled laughing at the two as they caught their breath.

…..

Julian didn't know what to expect as he saw Maya walk up to him and Drew. He hoped she didn't have another water bottle hiding behind her back for Drew.

"Maya….I…" Drew began.

"I have nothing to say to you Drew. I want to talk to Julian." Both of their eyes looked confused.

"Ummm yeah sure…"He walked off with her. "Sure you don't want to pour anything on me…" he teased.

"No I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of my sister that day. She won't admit it to even herself but she really appreciates it. You don't know how much." Maya shrugged.

"It wasn't a big deal….."

"No but it is. Do you know how hard it is for her to open up to people? Heck, she was Drew's girlfriend and she had problems."

"Maya…I don't mind really…" The little girl hugged him as he hugged her back.

…

"God girl…do you know how much I missed this?" Dave smiled touching Alli's cheek as they sat in the garden.

"I know….me too." She rested her head in his lap.

…..

"What did Maya want?" Drew asked as he returned to his lunch.

"….nothing much…" Julian cut him off.

"Come on…man I know it has to be something about Katie….." Drew begged.

"….you need to go ask Katie or Maya…I'm not going to be the messenger." Julian stated.

"How can you say that? I thought we were cool."

"You know you're my boy and all but do something up front from once. Stop hiding behind something."

"ummm hello." I did do something right….prom."

"Yeah…but that was for Bianca…..what have you ever done for Katie…if anything…Katie's always saved you.

Julian was right.

….

Fiona smiled wishing Declan and Holly J were there as she got their texts. She couldn't believe she was actually crying. Eli, Adam, and Imogen were good friends…but she didn't want to weigh them down with this.

It seemed as if she was weighing down Imogen with everything from her past….and she to. She was growing feelings for her. Why did she always get crushes on girls who were directly connected to the boys in her life….Holly J….now Imogen. It was really getting annoying to herself.

Flashback

"Ok truth or date….I mean dare." Fiona caught herself.

"Truth…"

"Have you always been this rebellious?"

"yeah…I want my life to be memorable…no regrets….."

"I have a lot of those..."Imogen moved her hair.

"Bobby and Riley were just lessons…."

"Yeah…it's funny how me and Riley both turned out gay….but at least his love was right in his face…mine isn't….."Fiona shrugged.

"She probably is…stop looking for it….it will come to you…."

"That was very…"

"corny…" Imogen mentally kicked herself.

"no…..philosophical." Fiona smiled as Imogen's eyes widened.

…..

"Are you serious?" Dave asked Adam checking to make sure the mic was off.

"Yeah….caught them all over each other…." Adam said.

"O man…..is she going to tell Jake?" Dave asked.

"I don't know….Clare thinks that she's doing Eli a favor by staying away from him."

"Plus it would be super awkward to live in the same house as your ex. It's not like they would have worked out anyways…" Dave stated.

…..

Katie saw Marisol glare daggers at Bianca in Perino's class. She was thankful, Marisol was being the good friend…but it wasn't needed. She had no more energy anymore...and she didn't want to. She was trying to focus on getting better…if she could. At moments she wanted to fight…then at times she wanted to give up again…

Marisol couldn't pass judgment on anyone…especially with her reputation for boys…but to see her best friend humiliated like this. Only Katie could still walk the halls with her head held high like this….but Marisol knew her friend…and how she could make anyone believe her.

"Do your parents know you are bulimic?" Marisol asked as they walk out to their next class.

"Where is this coming from?" Katie clutched her books to her chest….hard.

'It's just that….I'm just checking up on you….that's all..I mean even during the election…" Marisol began.

"That was all your fault." Katie stopped abruptly.

"I know I know. What I am trying to say is that I am still sorry for hurting you…and I'm trying to make it up to you. I want to be a better friend."

"But what do my parents have to do with this?"

"….are you seriously asking that question?" Marisol said rhetorically. "If your parents knew….maybe they would back off…"

"My parents just want what is best for me…even when I don't. Just mind your own business." Katie stormed off.