Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers, I'm waiting
Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight ;;
It was getting closer for Bella and Jasper's getaway to come to an end. Neither of them had spoken of it aloud just yet, but it felt as if it were a mutual understanding that they soon needed to return to Forks. Every time Bella called to speak to her father, he seemed a bit more angry when she hung up the phone after telling him that while everything was just fine, she still wasn't sure when exactly she would be home. It did seem to help that the Cullens, Esme and Carlisle namely, had been helping the police chief accept that that sudden trip had been a necessary one and more importantly, that Bella was being well taken care of. But if she was being taken care of by a teenage boy whom Charlie was still relatively unfamiliar with, then it made no difference; he wanted his daughter home. Bella understood this and didn't like the fact that she was worrying her father, but it hadn't been enough to send her running back to Forks soon after she and Jasper arrived at the cabin. Instead, she was more content on hiding away with the blonde vampire who had not only stolen her heart, but who repaired all of the broken pieces of it as well.
The night before, the two of them had attended the fair in the center of town. Because of all of the sugar Bella ingested both at the fair with the cotton candy and the natural sugar from the fruit platter that Jasper had arranged for her when they returned, she couldn't fall asleep quite so easily. Rather, she could not seem to drift off as early as she usually did. Her sleep, as most had been recently with Jasper beside her, was peaceful and dreamless; it simply had come later in the night. The result was a later start in the day for the two of them. When she had awoken, it was the afternoon, but that didn't mean that there was any rush. Instead, it had been a fairly lazy beginning. The two of them cooked her breakfast together and she brought it to the couch to eat so she could curl up beside him as she enjoyed it. There had been some debate on what their plans were that day but eventually, both of them agreed that it would be a nice day to take a walk. Though they had taken a few since they'd arrived at the cabin, it didn't seem to bother either one of them to be doing so again. Bella loved the fresh air and the temperature in the surrounding area. It wasn't hot by any means. In fact, she was quite comfortable in a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved button down shirt without needed a jacket to accompany it. It was perfect.
Then again, the perfection simply could have been the company.
As they explored the terrain, she and Jasper talked about nothing in particular – just whatever topic came up. They spoke about the idea of her going to college for the most part, but didn't dwell in any serious contemplation regarding it. Bella expressed that for now, she was content in not attending and that it was for certain that she would take at least a semester off. She explained, though, that Charlie was really wanting her to go, even if it was just in Seattle. The idea of school was much different now when she could hardly imagine spending a day apart from Jasper anymore. There would be no way she could have gone somewhere that he was unable to go too, or at least, be able to travel to easily. With the still ever-present threat of Victoria and the newborns, that was another flaw in the college plan. Either way, Bella concluded that she still had time before deciding anything.
They were still talking about it when the conversation was interrupted by a very unexpected visitor. The weather. What started out as being a fairly bright day above the thick canopy of woods changed when dark clouds rolled in. They hardly even had a chance to darken the sky before breaking and unleashing such a downpour of rain that it was difficult for Bella to see. With Jasper's guidance, she held onto his hand as the two of them ran back to the cabin. Of course they had to go a bit slower considering she did not mix well with maneuvering quickly on uneven ground, but he was patient with her, even though the rain was not letting up. By the time they reached the cabin, the both of them were soaked through to the bone. It was much like the scenario when they first decided to pick up everything and leave when they were back at their carousel. But as they pushed open the door and stood just inside, soaking wet, Bella couldn't help but to laugh. It had been such an unexpected turn of events considering how things started out, but it didn't seem like anything could dampen her mood when she was with Jasper. This was just another example of how true that was.
"Why didn't you tell me we were going swimming today?" she teased with a grin, reaching up to playfully tug on one of the wet curls that touched his forehead.
Even dripping wet, Jasper looked flawless. Though this was not the first time she'd seen him this way, it still never failed to leave her in awe.
It was a mutual understanding between them that returning to Forks was inevitable. It wasn't something they ever spoke about, but they both knew they had to go back. Regardless of how much this place had become another haven for them, the looming danger that threatened their families and their own state of being was always there, even just in the slightest flicker of a thought in the back of their minds. They had to go back, even if it was just to help eliminate the danger and then return to this place. They could never truly exist peacefully together as long as the threat was there. Jasper knew that he himself posed a threat to her just by being near her, but he also knew that he would take extreme measures against himself before he harmed her or tried to harm her again. There was no greater danger to her than himself, but there was also no one else who could protect her the way he could.
It was known to them both that they were going to have to pack up and go sooner rather than later. Jasper didn't say anything about it because he knew she knew it too. He also felt that they would just know when the time came. It wasn't today, though, so they'd decided to take a walk after a leisurely breakfast for her. It seemed like a very good idea at the time, and proved to be so as they walked through the woods. Jasper had grown to know them very well since arriving to the cabin because of his hunting. He'd been very careful to go more often than he normally would have since they were alone up here. Jasper wanted to take every precaution he could to ensure her safety. Since he'd been going into the woods quite often, he knew the least hazardous paths for them to take to lessen the possibility of her tripping. Even if she did, he'd be right there to catch her, but he wanted her to enjoy herself and not worry about any accidents.
The one thing he couldn't prevent from happening was the weather. The sky didn't even give them a warning before it opened up and the rain began pouring down. Jasper only managed to feel two drops of water before the deluge of water spilled from the sky. He tried to shield Bella as best he could, but it wasn't easy with the intensity of the rain what it was. He would've picked her up and carried her, but there really wasn't a sense of urgency. While the rain was cold, it was actually a little humorous that they were caught in it. The whole way back they were laughing, trying to avoid huge puddles that were already forming on the ground.
Once they were inside, it was blatantly obvious that they were completely drenched. Jasper chuckled at Bella's joke. "I was trying to be spontaneous," he said. "You know, keep you on your toes. I wouldn't want you to get bored with me."
He grinned a little as she played with one of his curls, then shook some of the water out of his hair. He was no stranger to this sort of thing - though he admittedly hadn't been in a position to be caught in a downpour recently, other than their day at the fairgrounds - before he became "civilized" in his world, he didn't have a place to retreat to and mostly lived outside anyway. The cold rain never bothered him, obviously; it was just annoying. The cold still didn't bother him, but he knew it wouldn't be good for her to be soaked to the bone.
"I'll put these clothes in the dryer, if you want to go warm up in the shower. We can bring the blanket down here and watch a movie if you'd like."
The rain had been more of an enjoyable thing as opposed to anything else. Of course, neither of them had been planning for it or else they would have to change their plans for a walk around the woods, but Bella wasn't put out by the fact that the day took a sudden turn of events. It didn't seem like Jasper was either judging by the way he laughed right along with her as they made a hasty escape back to the warm cabin.
It was warm, yes. But the rain had not been quite so forgiving. Instead, it was the type that, while although fun to be caught in, was responsible for getting people sick. She was the only one in any danger of this, but Bella didn't particularly like the idea of spending the last leg of their trip stuck in bed. It wouldn't be so bad, actually, but if she was sick it was guaranteed that she would have trouble breathing and would either be coughing or sniffling or both. That was hardly a romantic way to spend time in bed with Jasper.
Anything that put off the idea of being close to him was something that the brunette ruled out. She was constantly thinking of excuses to be closer if anything. Jasper didn't seem to mind this and if she were to go off of the emotions that she could feel radiating from him when they were close, it meant that Bella had nothing at all to be concerned about. When he suggested that she go take a shower in order to warm up, she hesitated before agreeing with him. It would be necessary for her to do so, but it would mean that the two of them would be separated. While she could deal with being away from him for short periods of time, Bella didn't particularly prefer it. At least, not on this last minute vacation of theirs. There was a solution, however. For this particular situation in any case.
Jasper might not have needed to take a shower in order to warm his skin, but that didn't mean he had to avoid it either. Bella imaged that he would still probably want to clean up after being soaked by the unexpected downpour. It seemed like a shame that if their destination was ultimately the same that they took different routes to get there. There was the option of saving time and forgoing separation if they would just get into the shower together. That would solve the problems that the rain had provided them with and more than that, it would take their relationship to a new level. It was for that reason that Bella felt somewhat shy in speaking up about this idea. Of course they had been a bit intimate before. Increasingly so. But this act would mean that they would be shedding inhibitions along with their clothes and even though it was something that Bella very much desired, it didn't mean that she wouldn't feel somewhat nervous in suggesting it.
Yet, because it was something that she truly wanted, an idea that she wholly supported for what it would mean, nerves were pushed below the surface and instead, there was a sort of playful confidence that took precedence. Playful, perhaps, but when Bella spoke, she did so with a serious tone that allowed him to know that she was not joking with what she was suggesting.
"You need to warm up too, don't you?" she asked, linking her arms around his neck slowly. "I would hate to run up the water bill for Carlisle when there's a more resourceful option," she said, brushing her fingertips along the nape of his neck. "Come with me."
If Bella had by chance fallen ill from their stint in the rain, it would not have ruined things. Jasper didn't ever want her to get sick, of course, but if she had, he would've just taken care of her. He would've been an excellent cold compress should she spike a fever, and he could be close to her to tend to her without catching whatever illness she came down with. He was hoping that they'd gotten inside and would be able to warm her up and dry her off before it came to that point, but should something like that arise, they'd manage. He could've even had Carlisle overnight them some medicine if she needed it. He thought they probably got inside quick enough not to warrant illness, but just to make sure, he wanted her to warm up right away.
Bella words threw him a little. Jasper had been expecting her to agree and head on upstairs to shower and change. Instead, she closed the small gap between them and slide her arms up around his neck. He could sense her playful mood, but there was something else underlying within it. He'd felt it from her before, and he was sure he'd felt it himself too. He didn't necessarily need to warm up, though cleaning up had crossed his mind. Being the gentleman he was, he would not have suggested taking a shower together; he wasn't opposed, but he would not have wanted to make her feel like she had to agree to something she wasn't ready for, or assume anything of the sort.
Bella, however, apparently wanted similar things to what he was thinking about. Clearly, the water bill wasn't something that would put a dent in the Cullens' wealth. That wasn't what this was about, and they both knew it. It was amusing though, how she was trying to get them both into the shower. Really, all she had to do was ask and he would have probably complied. The only hesitation he had was his own insecurity. He should've been over it by now; she'd seen him shirtless on more than one occasion, they'd even talked about his scars in depth and she'd reassured him again and again. But it would probably be something that would plague him forever; just another punishment for his sins. It maybe shouldn't have bothered him so much with Bella, because after all, she couldn't even see them unless he was under harsh lighting or in the sun. But that just made it even worse, really. She couldn't see them, so it made him feel like he was deceiving her when all she saw was the camouflage.
Looking down into her eyes, he couldn't possibly say no to her. He still felt uneasy, but he wanted this closeness and intimacy too. It would be taking their relationship to an even more intimate level than they'd ever ventured into, though he wasn't assuming anything in regards to where it might lead. As far as he knew, they were just going in there to warm up together. However, he was not naive enough to believe that there would be no factors that could lead it elsewhere.
Jasper nodded his head and leaned down to touch his lips to hers, kissing her softly once, before he took one of their hands and laced the fingers, then walked to the winding stairs with her.
Bella could feel some insecurity, bur rather than assuming that it was coming off of Jasper, she felt like it was her own. She had instigated this now and he agreed to it. She knew before she suggested it what it would mean if the two of them took a shower together. Even if the exact outcome was not a definite thing, all arrows were pointing in the same direction. It was a direction that Bella was so torn about. On one hand she was incredibly nervous. Everything was a new experience with Jasper, new territory that hadn't been touched before. She was the one lacking in the experience whereas for him, this was more familiar. On the other hand, her body ached to be close to his and even the possibility for intimacy caused her to be attracted to the idea of being closer.
When he took her hand, she followed to the steps, still holding onto his fingers with one hand carefully as she ascended the staircase. It likely wasn't the best idea for Bella to not pay attention to where she was walking, especially when the steps wound up to the loft area, but she was so fixated on Jasper at the moment that it was difficult to pay attention to much if anything else at all.
She did, however, use the time to give herself something of a pep talk. This was what she wanted – there was absolutely no question of that. Bella didn't want to ruin everything by being awkward and nervous. Such was not at all a recipe for passion. Aside from that, the last thing she wanted to do was to cause Jasper to worry. It was sweet that he held such concern for her, but when it was unnecessary such as in this situation, then she wanted to avoid it.
Bella turned to meet his eyes when they were both at the top of the stairs. Again, it was not at all the best idea for her not to be completely conscious of where she was walking, but she couldn't stand it any longer. She wanted to look at him, wanted to assess how he was feeling by means of meeting his eyes with her own. Still turned, she began to move backwards. If she were in danger, he would have steered her in the proper direction, but because the shower was not very far, it was fair to assume she could manage without making a mess of her limbs and reiterating why it was that she was considered to be such a klutz. Her eyes were fixated on the lingering gold found within his, lips parting slightly in anticipation as she kept a hold on his hand and walked back to the shower.
Once there, she used her free hand to reach in and turn on the faucet, taking her eyes away from Jasper's regretfully in order to see what she was doing. When she was satisfied that her adjusting of the knobs had given her a comfortable warm temperature, she pulled the lever for the shower. Instantly the water started streaming, heat coming from the cascade. Turning back to him, Bella met his eyes again. As she did, her hand finally left his fingers so that it, along with her other one, could move to the front of his shirt. Running her hands down his chest, brown eyes followed her fingers now as they traced back up, exploring how his body felt over the fabric before they started to slowly unbutton the soaked garment.
Her hands were shaking slightly, but Bella prayed he wouldn't notice. It didn't seem to affect her managing to get the shirt undone however. It was done slowly – there wasn't a need to rush this. At the last one, she pushed the tiny circle through the slot, letting the shirt fall open. As it did, her hands moved back up his chest, now bare and cool to her touch. When her fingers reached his shoulders, they pushed the top off altogether, pulling it down his arms.
"Is that better?" she whispered.
Jasper was trying very hard to keep his insecurities guarded, but he knew he would only be able to do it to an extent. He hoped it would not make her feel as though he did not want to be close to her, or just that he was having doubts. That wasn't the case at all; it was the same thing that they'd hashed out before on more than one occasion. Jasper couldn't get past his scars, because they were always there. It wasn't something he could ever look beyond when they were always staring him in the face every time he saw his reflection, or just looked down at his own hands. He could never ask her to look beyond them, either, whether she could see them or not.
He wanted to tell her 'yes,' that having his soaked, clinging shirt off felt better. It did, but being exposed did not. Her warm fingers felt incredible against his skin, but as they passed over the raised skin he was reminded of what she was touching. Jasper didn't know what to say or what to do. He did not want this moment to become something it did not have to be. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, or make her feel as though he didn't like her touch. That wasn't it at all. He felt soothed and loved every time Bella ghosted her fingertips over him, whether it be a brush of her thumb or a loving caress.
"It will be much better once you've warmed up," he said, answering honestly.
He did offer a smile though and gently started to unbutton her shirt too. While he didn't want to move too fast, he knew they needed to get her out of those soaked clothes. He worked the buttons with nimble fingers, unbuttoning each of them. He mimicked her actions, only he did not touch her skin the way she'd touched his. It wasn't that he didn't want to; Jasper just didn't want to make her colder than she already must have been. He removed the shirt and let it drop near his. He kissed her forehead, then lightly ran his fingers through her damp hair.
As steam started to creep around the edges of the room, Jasper felt the temperature within the room rise. He slid his hands down to the button at the waistband of her jeans. He unfastened it, then unzipped them. His actions were cautious; he'd never done that before, as she'd been wearing a dress in the hot tub. He gave them a gentle push down, but did not take them all the way down. That would be up to her to do. He moved to kiss her then, lightly pressing his lips against hers. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he refrained because he knew his embrace would feel icy. When he pulled back, he smiled a bit shyly and looked down.
"I can turn my back, if you'd like."
In a way, Bella wished she could see Jasper's scars. At least, she wanted him to be able to see that she could acknowledge them. Maybe if they were visible to her eye, he would have been more convinced that they didn't bother her. She told him so before, and in the ways she touched him, she thought it would be obvious. But they were such an insecurity for him. She understood that and thus, couldn't blame him for having them be worrisome for him. Bella had insecurities as well and soon enough, they would begin to show. But because she was more concerned with the way he was feeling at the moment, there wasn't such an emphasis on those.
At least, not until he looked down when he said that he would turn around if she wanted before him to. It was a considerate thing for him to say and something that Bella truly did appreciate. But at the same time, by speaking just then, it ignited a fleet of nerves within her. What was she supposed to say? Would it be less embarrassing if she said yes? Less embarrassing for who exactly? Did he not want to see what she looked like without all of her clothes on? That would have been foolish considering he agreed to the idea of taking a shower with her to begin with. That being the case, Bella shouldn't have been so nervous to take her clothes off. After all, she'd started undressing him in the same manner.
Shaking her head, she let go of him in order to push her jeans the rest of the way down her hips. When they were around her ankles, she toed off her shoes and kicked them away along with the offending garment. That hadn't been so bad, but then again, all of this was something that Jasper had seen before in the hot tub. Or at least, he had somewhat. The water had done a lot to conceal her body. She could feel heat rushing to her skin, not just in her cheeks, but all over. For being chilled by the rain, she was suddenly very flushed at the idea of being naked in front of him.
Bella bought a bit more time by fixating her attention on his jeans before removing any more of her own clothing. Hands moving to the catch, she managed to get it open despite how increasingly shaky her fingers had become by that point. The zipper was next and she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes until she had pushed the denim over his hips and let it fall to his feet. After that, the brunette knew she just had to take a breath and be a little bit brave.
Her lower lip was snagged by her teeth, a sure sign that she was nervous despite her courageous actions when she reached back and unclasped her bra. The fabric became loose around her shoulders and slipping it down her upper arms, she let it fall to the ground amongst the small pile that was growing at their feet. If she stopped there, Bella feared she wouldn't have been able to remove the rest of the material covering her and thus, with another breath, she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and slowly slid them down her hips herself. Her eyes remained away from Jasper's until that point. Looking up at him, she took a step closer to reach up and give him a chaste kiss to his mouth.
She only hoped he didn't misinterpret her nerves as meaning she didn't want this. On the contrary, the feelings she housed aside from nerves were boiling within her - passion, want, desire.
Bella need not worry about his misinterpreting her nerves. Jasper understood feelings probably better than anyone else. Though he could feel she was nervous, he could also feel all of those other emotions as well - her desires, wants, and her passion. It was understandable that she was nervous about what they were doing. She was a young woman, and this was something she'd nerve done before. If she hadn't been nervous, then he would have worried or thought something was wrong.
Jasper still wasn't entirely comfortable with himself in this situation. He still had so many insecurities about his body and about his thirst. The only ting that was stronger within him, was his love for Bella. He truly did love her, and desire came along with that. It should have been no secret to her that Jasper found her attractive. They didn't necessarily ever really talk about this sort of behavior, but they had been much more liberal in their touching and kisses as of late. He was kissing her now, and though it was chaste, she would be able to feel his passion for her within it.
He wanted to touch her.
Bella had unclothed herself completely, and Jasper found her to be even more beautiful than he imagined. He hadn't been able to look at her for long, but he'd gotten a nice glance at her body before she kissed him. He still wasn't touching her, though. He did not want to make her cold, though he could tell her skin was flushed. He couldn't resist much longer, though, and finally he did allow his fingertips to ghost down over her sides to her hips. They strayed, however, and while they were kissing he brought his hands to his boxer briefs and he pushed them down. Once they were at his ankles, he toed off his shoes, then stepped out of his jeans and his undergarment.
Was he afraid? No.
Insecure? Yes.
But he was also happy, because the two of them were sharing something very, very intimate. This was a display of how much they trusted each other. They were allowing themselves to be very vulnerable in the other's presence, and sharing their bodies with each other in a way they had not yet done before. Jasper would not take that for granted. He parted from the kiss and gently took her hand, leading her to the shower. He opened the large glass door which allowed more steam out to fill the room and escorted her inside.
The water seemed to work some sort of magic. While it was true that she was still nervous and probably would continue to be so for quite some time, even after this night was over, Bella seemed to relax significantly when the warm water poured over her skin. The chill from the rain was completely eliminated now and the hot shower mingled with the way that her skin was already flushed caused her to forget that she had ever been cold in the first place. Already, she could feel the difference in the way Jasper's hand felt in hers, another fact that she attributed to the effects of the water.
The relaxation allowed for her to focus more on her company and less on the things that were holding her back, or at least, those that had shown some potential for doing so. When they were inside the glass, Bella didn't seem to have any trouble meeting his eyes any longer. Of course, the water did make it somewhat more difficult, but that was easily fixed with some slight adjustment of her body. Closer to his.
Her actions were still slow, but Bella was more confident in them. She wanted to touch him. Her hands moved up his arms, over his shoulders and to the back of his neck. There, her fingers twined in his hair, twisting among the wet curls. Stepping closer allowed her body to fully come into contact with his own, skin to skin with nothing standing as a barrier in between. The feel of Jasper's naked flesh pressed against hers elicited a soft sound from her lips.
The shower had done its intended job. He felt warmer to her, the usual chill of his skin muted by the hot water. It was how it had been in the hot tub, but yet, everything seemed to feel different, newer somehow, like Bella had never touched Jasper intimately in any way before this. It was exciting considering it ignited a spark that would never seem to dull no matter how familiar they became with one another or how much time passed between them. Bella had faith in that. She had faith in the fact that her feelings would never fade for Jasper. This would never go away. And Bella would not have had it any other way.
It was she who initiated another kiss. It had a soft pretense, chaste like the one that she'd given him just before he led her behind the glass door of the shower. But that didn't last long. Her lips moved against Jasper's in a way that made it clear that she wanted him there, pressed against her. Her hands made it a bit more clear in case her kiss wasn't doing a good enough job. It was hard to keep them from exploring his bare skin, especially when the temperature of it was altered from what she was normally accustomed to. Bella's hands slipped from his neck, moving to his cheeks to steady his face while she kissed him firmly, before they moved to start exploring every inch of his upper body and torso.
Jasper let her stand beneath the warm water by herself at first, letting it wash over her and hopefully warming her body up. He did keep hold of her hand, not wanting to let go of her. She seemed a bit more relaxed, and he hoped that was because she wasn't freezing cold anymore. He still looked only at her face for now; though she seemed relaxed, Jasper did not want to make her feel self-conscious because he was looking at her body. There was no need for her to be self-conscious or shy - she was beautiful - but he knew Bella, and he knew she didn't like to be gawked over. He kept his eyes on hers, and did not stray.
He watched as she moved closer, and Jasper did as well. The span of the shower was large and as they shifted, it allowed him under the water as well. He knew he would feel warmer, what with the water and the steam, so he didn't hesitate when their bodies came into contact. It still drew a gasp from his lips, as he was always a bit overwhelmed when they touched so intimately. He still kept his eyes on her face as he felt her hands sliding up his arms an over his shoulders. He closed them as he felt her fingers curl into the hair at the back of his head. The sound she made as their bodies pressed together drew another from him.
The only thing that could overwhelm Jasper more than the incredible feeling of having her body pressed to his were the feelings he could sense coming from her. Her emotional state was directed at him, full of love and desire. It seemed too good to be true, how this beautiful young woman who he loved so very much could possibly have similar feelings to his own. He didn't deserve it, but he would treasure that feeling. It would never fade for him, either. He would love Bella for his eternity, no matter what.
Jasper met her lips in the gentle kiss she initiated. He wanted very much to deepen the intensity, but he was letting Bella call the shots here. He wanted to make sure she knew that they were not going to do anything she was not ready to engage in. It seemed Bella was ready for far more than he anticipated, as was evident in the way the kiss evolved. He made a muffled sound against her lips as she deepened it and Jasper matched the depth easily. Her hands, as always, felt like fire as they slid over his cheeks, then started running over his upper body. He finally let his own slide over her again, trailing down her sides, then up her back into her hair. He was still nervous, but more than anything now he just wanted to be touching her everywhere. Jasper let his fingers slide down to her hips, massaging her there gently before he let them roam Bella's body until one ended up at the small of her back and the other was gently rubbing along her side.
Bella felt that all too familiar dizzy feeling starting to return when he kissed her back. It was something she never minded – feeling lightheaded when she was with Jasper. It wasn't the same type of wooziness that would come if she encountered blood or something else that make her feel sick, but rather, this was different. It was a dizziness she loved. It didn't hurt that it was never a question of her safety either. She was never in danger of letting her sudden feelings of weightlessness cause her harm, not when she was in Jasper's arms. It was a constant comfort when she was around him. He always had a way of making her feel safe without making her feel incapable. That was something that Bella appreciated more than he would ever know.
When he moved his mouth against hers and his hands started to move along her skin, it was that much more difficult to not be consumed in the moment. Her hands paused in their exploration of his chest in order to move to his waist. They stilled, but only because their current fixation was pulling him closer to her. And she did. It was amazing how differently they were built and yet, how perfectly they seemed to fit together. It was just like the way their hands worked. Every place that Bella had a soft curve, Jasper had a hard line. They simply fit. That alone was enough to mesmerize her.
The only downside to the differences between them was probably her height in comparison to his. He never made her have to stretch up too high or uncomfortably at all before he would lean down and meet her halfway. But in times like these when Bella was driven by her need to be as close to him as possible, it would have been a benefit if she was just a little bit taller. Regardless, she stood on her toes, letting her hands leave his sides in order to wrap around his neck once more. That allowed her to have a bit more direction with moving her lips against his.
Jasper felt the same way, or at least, the equivalent to what being dizzy for a human would be for a vampire. For him, it was probably more of a rush of sensations coursing through his body. When he kissed Bella, he felt warm inside, which was an entirely new experience for him. Warmth was usually lost on vampires; he hadn't even remembered what being warm felt like until he got close to Bella. There was nothing quite like kissing her. He could only hope that by being under the hot water as he'd been in the hot tub, that his skin wouldn't be so icy for her. From what he could tell, she seemed comfortable.
Like Bella, Jasper was starting to get caught up in the moment, too. There were so many temptations fueled by his desire for her, his love and his passion. As her hands traveled down to his waist, it only further drove his desire. Jasper pulled her flush against him unable to help it. It was indeed very fascinating how well they fit together - remarkable, even. By all accounts, they should have been awkward when they laid against each other, not nearly so comfortable.
Jasper lowered down a little so she would not have to reach up so high for him in order to hold onto the kiss. He started tracing her curves with his hands as hers slid up around his neck again. He wanted her, and it was becoming more and more evident the longer they touched. She would be able to feel that, both literally and through his power, and it would become more apparent if she kept kissing him like that. Jasper whispered her name against her lips and slid one hand into her hair. The other remained at her hip.
"I love you," he murmured, and broke away from the kiss, only to press his lips to her neck. He usually avoided that particular area, but at the moment he simply could not help but kiss her there.
There were what felt like a million butterflies unleashed within Bella's stomach when Jasper pulled her fully against him. Their wings set off with such intensity when he spoke against her lips. Even the way he said her name just then in that whispered tone amazed her. Bella never cared much for her name. It was neither something she loved, nor she hated either way. Of course she preferred just 'Bella' as opposed to her full given name, but even the abridged version never had any cause to get her excited. But when he said it, Bella fell in love with it. Though her name was said a hundred times by a hundred people on any given day, it would never sound the same as when Jasper said it. And it most certainly would not have the same effect.
The same went for 'I love you.'
That was a phrase that was not uttered as often as a name, but that was because it meant something special. It was true that Bella thought there were many people who threw the phrase around too carelessly, not even meaning it when it was said. There were many who used it for desperation, a last resort, or even an easy way out of a seemingly impossible situation. But to her, it was something that couldn't be taken lightly. Family aside, Bella had only said those words to two people before, one of whom she was with now and would be, if she had anything to do with it, for the rest of her life. Even though it was not a common utterance, she would be content in telling Jasper a thousand times a day. It would never be said with anything but complete legitimacy. Not one time that she would say it would be because of any other reason than it was the truth and she wanted to be sure of the fact that he was never in doubt of her feelings for him.
Turning her face to nuzzle his cheek and lean her lips near his own ear, Bella returned the sentiment. "I love you too," she whispered.
It was necessary for her to tighten her grip on him when Jasper started kissing her neck. The sensation was unlike anything she could describe. The contrast of his cold mouth moving against her heated skin was electrifying in and of itself, but the fact that it was on her neck heightened the feeling. It was a particularly sensitive area and one that caused instant chills to run down her spine when paid attention to. Such an effect was occurring as his lips touched the heated flesh there, making her shiver despite the hot water temperature. She couldn't help but to lean her head slightly to the side, allowing him better access to the area to assure Jasper that he knew she liked what he was doing.
And because she liked what he was doing, her body showed it by reacting naturally. Their close proximity allowed for her to become very aware of how he was feeling in every sense. One of her hands, like his, moved into his hair, threading through the wet curls and twisting them around her fingers. His hair was one of Bella's favorite parts about him – though it didn't seem fair to pick favorites considering how fond she was of every bit of him – and she liked to toy with it whenever she could. She had discovered long ago that Jasper seemed fond of her doing so as well and if it made it feel good, Bella was all too happy to oblige him.
Her other hand traveled down his back, following the stream of water that ran down the dip of his spine until it reached his lower back. Perhaps they ventured a bit too long to be completely innocent, but Bella couldn't help herself. She couldn't get enough of him. Not only that, but those not-so-innocent fingers applied pressure to his skin so she could bring their hips together. It might have been difficult to move him considering he had such a sure stance, but even if he didn't budge, that did not mean she couldn't bring herself closer in the process.
It wasn't long before her lips grew impatient. As much as she loved the way his felt against her skin, Bella couldn't wait any longer before she dipped her chin and turned her face to catch his mouth in another kiss, emitting a satisfied groan upon doing so and therefore sedating her craving.
Like Bella, Jasper was not one to say he loved someone unless he truly, genuinely meant it. Having the ability to feel others' emotions for what they truly were as well as his own gave him a better understanding of what specific emotions really felt like. He knew when others were being superficial, and during his long life he'd heard couples professing their love for one another and sometimes it made him cringe because he knew they didn't really mean it. It almost offended him because he took emotions so personally - especially love, which he valued most of all. He knew that whatever emotions he was feeling, Bella would feel them too, so Jasper would never have told her he loved her if he didn't mean it.
The most wonderful part of all of that was that he did truly love her. That allowed him to tell her so as much as he wanted. Jasper did not say it every second of everyday, but he hoped she could feel it from him all the time both through his power and through his actions. He could feel it coming from her in everything she did. Maybe it was his power, but he really just thought it was because Bella was so genuine in her emotions that it seemed impossible to him not to know that she loved him. When her words reached him, he smiled against her neck as she whispered her love for him.
Jasper knew he would love her forever and that alone was enough for him.
He focused his affections on her neck. It was relatively uncharted territory for him because Jasper often feared of himself going near her pulse points, and being within biting distance of an area where there was a tremendous amount of blood flow. Much to his surprise, he did not feel anymore than the usual burn in his throat that came along with his thirst. It was a little more intense, yes, but a lot of that had to do with the rush of emotions within him and the physical sensations he could feel on the outside as well. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle, though. Not at this point, at least.
Jasper kissed along the length of her neck, tracing his lips over the gentle curve. Bella might not have liked to be considered fragile or breakable, and Jasper tried very hard not to subject her to feeling that way, but he was always very delicate in how he handled her. That wasn't because of her being breakable. It was because he was a gentleman. He treated her with care because he loved her and respected her so much. He moaned softly against her warm skin as he felt her fingers twisting into his hair. His scalp was one of his tender spots, and feeling her warm fingers against it was enough to make him melt. If Bella ever wanted to turn him into putty in her hand, all she had to really do was massage his scalp.
As her hand traveled down his body, his hands continued to roam hers. He was careful not to venture too far, though he really wanted to touch her everywhere. Jasper opened one eye as he felt her hand slide a little lower than he anticipated to his rear end. It made him grin just a little and he playfully tickled her side, before returning to touching her sensually. He nuzzled into her neck and then lifted up just in time to meet her lips in a deep kiss. As he did so, one of his hands slid up to lightly brush his thumb over her breast. He groaned at the feeling, then cupped the left one with his hand. He hoped that was all right with her. Jasper pulled back enough to open his eyes and look down at her, his hand sliding away from her breast to rest against her lower back with his other.
"Are you warmer now?" he whispered, and started kissing along her neck again.
Jasper's power really could have been either a blessing or a curse. If there was something she wanted to conceal, then it would more on the latter side, considering he would be able to see right through her if she attempted to keep something from him. Bella would never do that of course, unless it was a special circumstance. For example, when she wanted to be brave. Especially with the situation with Victoria and the newborns, it was important that she at least attempt to appear courageous in such a situation. Otherwise, Jasper would worry more than he already was. Because she certainly didn't want that to occur, it was a case in which she would try to mask what she was truly feeling. But that was a rare thing and even when it did happen, usually, Jasper could tell she was lying anyway. In every other situation, she let him know what she was feeling freely. Or rather, she made no means to hide it. The rest came naturally, especially when it came to her love for him. That was something that she couldn't hide even if she wanted to. But luckily, there would never be a need to do such a thing.
The danger of his thirst was something that Bella didn't think about as often as she should have perhaps. It was not as if she doubted him by any means – Bella was fully confident in the fact that he would never hurt her, not by this point. Even if he would ever be tempted to do such a thing, she truly couldn't hold him responsible when she wholly knew what their relationship entailed as far as potential risk was concerned. He would only be acting how he was designed to in the same manner that she would be naturally inclined to defend herself. With this mindset, most people would think Bella to be crazy, to be okay with the potential idea of her becoming his meal. But she didn't care about what other people thought. They would never understand her relationship with Jasper, nor did she even want them to. The two of them did and in the end, there was nothing else that mattered.
She laughed when he tickled her side, squirming a bit. By now, Jasper seemed to know all of her ticklish spots, even those that weren't usually visible to others. Then again, Bella didn't let very many people touch her closely enough to warrant a risk of being tickled to begin with. His playful touch soon turned into a more risky one, however, when his fingers found her breast. Instinctively, she pressed herself forward against him and she couldn't deny another soft sound leaving her lips.
When he pulled away from the kiss, she met his eyes upon opening her own. That look alone was enough to make it harder for her to breathe. The steam surrounding them wasn't helping either and when he asked if she was warmer, Bella noticed how truly warm she actually was. Too warm, almost. The things he was doing to her with his sensual kisses and touches caused for her temperature to rise naturally, but added with the heat from the water and she was bordering uncomfortable now.
"Sweltering," she admitted, pressing against him closer to find some relief from the heat. Because his skin was warmed from the shower as well, it wasn't the same effect as it would have had normally.
Reaching around him, she took the liberty of turning off the water. Instantly, she felt a little bit better, especially when she opened the glass door and let out a flood of steam. Cooler air from the outside greeted them, even where they stood still inside. But now there was also a slight awkwardness that greeted them as well, or at least, that introduced itself to Bella.
She knew one thing was for sure – she didn't want to stop touching him, didn't want to put an end to exploring his body. But she was unsure of Jasper's thoughts on the matter and therefore didn't know what to say. For a moment, she met his eyes before wrapping both of her arms around his back to embrace him. Not only did it let him know she wasn't ready to part with him, but his cooler skin felt good against hers.
"Are you tired?" she asked finally.
It was another way of asking him indirectly what he thought about going to bed with her. But it only took a second for her to realize that her question, however unassuming it may have ended up sounding, was irrelevant considering his lack of sleeping abilities. Her cheeks flushed, but this time from shy humiliation and not from the water temperature. Giggling softly, she buried her face into his chest.
"You know what I meant," she said.
Her body had indeed warmed up considerably, he noted, as she pressed tightly up against him. Jasper had gotten used to her normal body temperature and its accompanying warmth. Currently, she was much warmer, as she'd been in the hot tub and maybe even warmer than that because the air inside the shower was not the same as the cool night air that had surrounded them when they were outside. He slid his arms around her completely, wrapping her up in his embrace and laying his head on top of hers briefly, if nothing else then to relieve the sweltering feeling she'd described.
Once the water was off, he loosened his hold. He didn't want to undo everything the shower had done for her by making her cold again. Bella, it seemed, did not want him to let go of her seeing as how she did not back away from him. Jasper was glad of this, because he certainly did not want to stop touching her either. But, he also knew that Bella a lot of the time put her comfort level beneath her immediate wants and what she thought were his wants too. He wished he could do something about that, but that was just Bella, and actually something else they had in common. It was endearing and selfless, even though at times it was reckless of her. Right now, though, he knew it was because of her desires and because she just wanted to be with him. He couldn't fault her for that, especially when his feelings were the same.
Jasper smiled at her question, and felt a rush of shyness wash over her. That, too, was very endearing. Her soft laugh sounded like music to him, and he closed his eyes to lock away that precious sound in his memory. Very gently, he ran his fingers through her hair, and lightly cupped her cheek to draw her gaze back up to him. He was still smiling as he looked down at her. He didn't say anything, as was actually quite normal for someone like him. Jasper was the type who fit the 'actions speak louder than words' stereotype. He leaned down and kissed her lips very tenderly, but with an underlying sense of desire and wanting much more. When he pulled back, he kissed her forehead and brushed his thumb against her cheek.
Jasper parted from her only momentarily to fetch a few of the large, plush towels befitting of a luxury spa that he'd laid out for them once they were finished. He wrapped one of them around Bella, then handed her another for if she wanted to dry her hair or wrap up even more in it. He took one for himself and toweled off his upper body and then wrapped it around his waist for now. Once they were dry, he slid his arm around her waist and escorted her out of the steamy bathroom, which took them to their bedroom.
He did not want to seem too forward, because he knew that just about anything and everything he did would imply the obvious. What they'd just done was already taking their relationship to an entirely new, intimate level. If that was as far as she wanted things to go, that was where they would draw the line. From what he'd felt from her after she shut the water off, though, he wasn't so sure she wanted to stop.
Jasper wanted to take a bit of the lead in this situation because he knew Bella was shy, and nervous, and probably wanting to rely more on his having experience than having to initiate anything herself. He couldn't blame her; he was very shy in that regard himself. But he just couldn't put her in a position where she'd feel obligated to go through with something she wasn't ready for. He moved to the bed, but simply turned on her electric blanket. He made no move to lay down, but instead returned to her and took one of her hands. He lifted it to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
"Belle.. Are you still warm?" He whispered softly, between kisses to the back of her hand.
Bella wasn't the only one who might have had a bit of a struggle between reckless behavior and appropriate behavior under certain circumstances. When she wanted to be close to him, she didn't think about the fact that the difference in their skin's texture and temperature was working against them. She simply thought about how badly she wanted to be with him. At night when she was drifting off to sleep, she didn't think that it would probably more comfortable in the literal sense to wrap her arms around a pillow instead of Jasper's body. But for Bella, that was comfortable. He was comfortable.
She knew, though, that such things were not always easy for him either. It was annoying to have to be concerned with aforementioned things like temperature when in the heat of the moment, logic was normally forgotten. Jasper never forgot though. He was always so considerate of her and how she was feeling before he simply acted. That was not lost on her, but she wished she could have somehow made it easier for him. Without giving up her mortality and eliminating such problems, which was a subject they hadn't even discussed yet, she attempted to do the best that she could to ensure Jasper that she was always happy in her choices to be close to him, to be in this relationship and no other.
Even though Bella seemed to be prone to sometimes making a fool of herself, Jasper never made her feel that way. He was always so patient with her. Though she was always quick to admit to her own stupidity when she made blunders like the one she just did, he never said anything. In fact, he was always more than just understanding of it – he was sweet. He laughed too and she knew that it wasn't laughing at her, but rather with her when she acknowledged her silly mistake. Jasper's gestures were affectionate in the way he trailed his fingers through her wet hair and brought her to look up at him. His smile at that moment melted her heart and her humiliation was long forgotten. When he kissed her, it was as if it never existed and instead, this moment happened after she turned the shower off instead of another that left a blush on her cheeks. He was just such a gentleman to her. Though she knew it was because it was how he was brought up, it never ceased to amaze her, especially considering how independent she was.
His speed was always such a blessing. When she didn't want to be apart from him, especially in a moment like this, Bella was grateful that it only took him a few seconds at the maximum to return with the towels. She was greeted with warmth when he wrapped a large fluffy one around her, but unlike the heat from the shower towards the end of it, this was very comfortable. She thanked him, tucking the towel under her arms and securing it before using the other one to run through her hair a few times to dry it as best she could. When she finished, she caught a glimpse of Jasper that made her mouth instantly dry. The sight of him drying off and then standing there with the towel slung low on his hips did nothing to lessen the desire she already felt for him. It was extremely difficult to watch where she was going when he led her from the bathroom instead of watching him and eying up the positioning of that towel.
Once in the bedroom, she did allow herself to look at his body when he leaned down to the bed in order to turn on her blanket. Her cheeks burned when her eyes moved over the back of his strong shoulders and down the muscles of his back. He was gorgeous – there was no other way to describe it. If his scars had been visible to her then, Jasper would have remained just as gorgeous in her eyes and for Bella, that was the honest truth whether or not he would ever choose to believe that. She was still flushed when he came to take her hand, but upon touching her, he would know that the reason for the pinkish tint no longer had anything to do with feeling embarrassed.
"Yes," she said honestly, surprised as how hushed her voice sounded without intention.
She was still very warm, both from the lingering heat from the shower and the fluffy towel, and the heat that her body provided naturally as a reaction to being around him. Her eyes couldn't leave his lips when he continued to brush them against her hand. She wanted to lay down with him, wanted to feel him laying on top of her, but Bella couldn't even get there before she had to kiss him again. It was like an addiction. Pulling her hand away from his, she brushed it against his cheek, her other hand doing the same. Standing on her toes, she pressed her lips to his. But instead of beginning the kiss gently as she had done in the shower, Bella skipped right to the passionate portion of it. Jasper would not be able to mistake what she wanted, even though lingering nerves were still present.
She wanted him. Badly. And that night, she was going to have him.
Author's Note: We split this into two chapters because it was very long. But don't worry! We're posting Chapter 25 shortly and we think you'll be pleased. The story from here on out is pretty much going to involve a lot of mature content, so just be aware of that as won't be posting a note before additional chapters. What did you think of that steamy impromptu shower? Not hot enough? Read on. ;)
Lyrics: Paperweight - Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk