Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady
I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now
Kiss me like you wanna be loved ;;
It was very true that Jasper was conscientious of her needs and the differences between them. He was very careful about their vastly different temperatures. Though he was always aware of these factors, they weren't issues he made blatantly obvious. In doing so, they'd become simply second nature. He didn't have to go out of his way to remember that she should have a blanket around her when they curled up together because his body was so much colder than hers. His attentiveness to things like that had become just as instinctive as it was for him to be a gentleman towards her.
Jasper gazed at her, completely taken with her smile, her face, and all the emotions he was feeling from her. He felt so intimately connected to her, just being able to understand and feel everything that she was feeling. Though it might have been a little invasive, he saw it more as a way for them to be close to each other. They were both a little hesitant when it came to verbal confessions. While Jasper was actually very charismatic, he did clam up when it came to speaking about his feelings. That was probably because he spent so much time engulfed in those feelings. It was also because Jasper believed that feelings, true feelings, were unable to be explained through words - they were expressed truly by just feeling them. That was what he always tried to allow Bella to feel from him, and it was how he best understood her and her state of being.
As they stood together in the room, Jasper had been momentarily uncertain of where things would lead. He did not know if Bella intended to get ready for bed as she usually did by dressing in her nightly attire and crawling into bed with him, or if what they'd just done in the shower was to be continued out here as well. He would've been lying if he said he wasn't hoping for the latter, but if she did indicate the former was to happen, he would be perfectly fine with that. He just wanted to be with her, regardless of how physically intimate they became. From what he sensed from her though, she was having the same urges he was having. She wanted the same things he wanted.
Her kiss was his confirmation. Jasper did not hesitate to wrap his arms around her and pulled her flush against him. He silently cursed the towels, as they were serving to be simply a barrier to keep their flesh from coming into contact. He knew it was helping to keep her warm, but his plan was to get her beneath her electric blanket anyway so he didn't see much harm in removing it. She was nervous, he could tell, and he was nervous too. But Jasper felt that the best way to get them both past these nerves was through experience. They would become more familiar with this sort of behavior and it wouldn't have that forbidden newness to it. As he deeply kissed her, he ran his hands up her body to where the towel was tucked and wrapped around her. He pulled it loose and let it drop to the floor. Immediately his hands found her bare sides and traced down her curves to the soft swell of her hips.
He kept her balanced as he backed her up to the bed, then in one graceful motion he had her up in his arms, cradling her against him as he drew back her heating blanket. Jasper gently laid her on the bed and touched her cheek gently with his hand, before drawing back. He was feeling a bit self-conscious, but it was only fair for him to disrobe, too. Jasper unhooked the towel from his hips, and let it fall. He crawled into bed next to her, and kissed her shoulder, then lifted his gaze to meet hers again. There was so much to be said through their gazes. His golden eyes spoke of his desire for her, his love, his adoration. Very slowly, he shifted his body over hers, bracing himself on his palms and his knees. With his passion for her rolling off of him in waves, Jasper leaned down and kissed her deeply.
It was a strange thing to feel as if she were torn between wanting to rush everything and wanting to take everything slowly. On one hand, it was difficult to keep from wanting to just rip off the towels from both of them and climbing on top of one another without a second of hesitation. That was the side that was driven by her hormones and both of their desires and wants. But on the other hand, this was something that was special. It would never happen again quite like this. There was only one time that their situation could play out in the way it was now and even if it was something to be repeated a hundred times, it would be just that – a repeat. That isn't to say it wouldn't be any less wonderful. But it wouldn't have the special feeling that came along with the fact that this was new.
If there was a balance, it seemed like the two of them had found it. Nothing seemed to be too fast or too slow. There wasn't enough time to lose control or to become impatient. Such was the best for Jasper and Bella for the time being, she was sure of that. She didn't feel like she was being pressured into anything that she didn't want to do, nor was she being pushed into something too quickly. She hoped that Jasper wouldn't worry about either of these things. That was one of the reasons why she was trying to be braver and to show him that she wanted him, that she wanted this. Her nerves were still there, but for fear that they could potentially give him the wrong impression, Bella forced them down.
It made it easier that he seemed to understand that Bella had never done this before. It wasn't that Jasper way ever disrespectful – she didn't think that was possible even if he tried to be. But he just seemed to be even more in tune with the fact that this was sensitive for her. Something she desperately wanted – to be closer to him in every physical way – yes, but still something sensitive. He was taking the lead and when he took the initiative to remove her towel and lay her down so gently, Bella was grateful to him. He was on the same page with her. How could she be nervous at all when he made it all seem so easy? Shifting on the bed, she made herself more comfortable while he disrobed, upon which she immediately focused all of her attention on him once more.
There wasn't much time to let her eyes linger though before he was in bed with her and then hovering over her. Bella's mouth felt dry again, but she wouldn't have changed that feeling for anything. The look they shared at that moment was one that would be burned into her memory for an eternity. His eyes were smoldering, a darker gold and utterly captivating. She knew her own gaze was something darker; that had everything to do with how badly she desired him at the moment.
When he kissed her, it was returned to him with the same passion that he set the tone with. Her hand moved to cup his cheek, the other moving further to thread through his hair which was still wet from the shower. Her fingers massaged his scalp in a soothing manner while the kiss progressed. As if did, however, it was more difficult for Bella to keep still. Her body arched slightly so she could press her skin against his, eager for the feel of his flesh. It still felt warmer to her than usual, altogether a pleasant sensation. Her hips had the most trouble remaining stationary, an action that couldn't be on account of any other reason than her hormones were kicking up upon realizing how far they'd come in their relationship physically.
Pulling back from the kiss just slightly, Bella spoke against his lips. "Jasper…" she whispered, pausing to kiss him again. It was a lingering kiss, perhaps a few moments longer than she intended before finishing her statement. "I want you."
It didn't feel out of character for her, even though Bella was typically not the type – like Jasper – to verbally speak of things that were of such intensity. But she wanted to tell him. She wanted him to know, aside from what her body was saying on its own, that this was what she desired. Simply him. Her eyes were open to meet his when she spoke, but they were half-lidded, another sign of what she was feeling. The hand that had been on his cheek moved down his back to rest on his hip before she reached to kiss him again.
Jasper made a soft sound of satisfaction when she started to massage his scalp with her fingers. He absolutely loved when she did that, and he also just loved the way it felt when she played with his hair in general. Though truly, there wasn't really anything Bella did that he didn't enjoy. He wanted to turn and nuzzle her hand in appreciation for the attention he was receiving from it, but his lips were currently focused only on kissing hers at the moment. He did not have hormones as she did, but he did have his emotions and his desires. That was enough to match her passion.
He still had to be mindful not to kiss her too intensely. While he did kiss her in a way that any human would consider passionate and intense, if Jasper wasn't careful he'd crush her jaw or smash her teeth, or even suffocate her - none of which were exactly romantic. Though he had to be careful, this was also something that had become second nature to him. It wasn't something he had to think about too much. The only thing he was overly cautious to remember was to pull away before she lost her breath. It was difficult for him, as he loved kissing her and her lips tasted so sweet.
As Bella pulled back fro the kiss and whispered his name, he shivered. The way his name fell off her lips was very sensual; Jasper was sure Bella had no idea of this, because she probably was not aware of how alluring she was to him. They kissed again and Jasper did his best to let her feel how much he wanted her. Just as he'd done so, he heard her murmur that she waned him too. He had not expected her to say such a thing. It was especially alluring, and Jasper was drawn into her again as they kissed once more. Her hand slid down to his hip, and Jasper moaned against her lips. Her fingers were so warm against his skin, even with the electric blanket pressing against his back, her hands were warmer.
Jasper broke the kiss only to trail his lips down her neck. He savored what he could taste of her skin, and breathed in her scent every chance he could. It was a bit torturous, but only because he wanted her so much. Her, not her blood. He wasn't even thinking about his thirst right now. He just wanted his Bella. His lips traveled across her collar bone very slowly, then downward to very gently kiss along the soft swell of her right breast His hands had come to rest beneath her back, just at where it arched naturally, in order to help give her a sense of security, and to keep her close.
"Mm, Belle.." he murmured, and gently kissed at the peak of her breast.
When he started kissing her neck, her eyes closed. Bella decided that it was her favorite place to be kissed by him. The skin there was so sensitive and the sensations that coursed through her body when his mouth moved against it so softly were indescribable. But her eyes opened against when his lips moved lower, over her collarbone and further still until his mouth was on her breast. If she thought the sensations were strong when he kissed her neck, they didn't even compare to the ones she felt when his kissed along the soft curve of her breast. Her back arched slightly more, aided by the way his hands situated themselves beneath her spine to rest against her skin.
Her name preceded a more intimate touch of his lips and his breath alone against her caused her body to have a reaction. The peak of her breast became more pronounced on account of the cool air hitting it. The reaction of the little nub only increased when his lips descended against it. A groan left her lips and her back arched again, pressing closer to him. She was attempting to be patient, to savor each moment, but it was becoming significantly more difficult when his mouth felt like heaven against her. The chill caused the tiny peak to harden almost painfully from the contrast with her body heat. But it was a pleasurable experience, not a painful one.
The hand in his hair twisted around the locks, but Bella was careful not to apply pressure to his head. The last thing she wanted to do was push him too quickly. Even when she could hardly think straight for how good his actions felt, she was still aware of the fact that this was difficult for him considering he had a natural instinct to kill victims that were made like Bella. He was doing remarkably and she couldn't feel any fear from him. But even still, she didn't want to risk causing a change to occur in the blink of an eye just because she couldn't control herself. Instead, the fingers moving through his hair continued to do so encouragingly, but softly. Her other hand moved from his hip to the small of his back. There, she didn't find any trouble with applying pressure and her fingers kneaded into the muscles.
Her heart was racing. She could hear it in her ears. The rise and fall of her chest at a quickened rate was another testament to how he was affecting her with every single thing he did. Her breathing was altered as well, shallower than usual. The air that was leaving and entering her mouth in quick puffs matched the way her heart was beating, although it wasn't quite up to the same speed. Jasper would be well aware of both alterations for certain, especially with his close proximity.
Jasper did of course notice the increase of speed in her heart rate. It was difficult for him, naturally, especially since he could almost sense the fact that her blood was rushing through her system at a much more intense speed as well. It made her scent even more potent to him. But Jasper had learned over his time with Bella that he could control his instinct to kill by shifting it into an instinct to protect and cherish. He did want her blood, but her blood was precious to him because it was a part of her, so he treasured it. The burn of his thirst was always going to be there, but the desire in his heart would always be stronger.
His lips kneaded against the peak of her breast, while his hands pressed against her back to hold her close to him. He waned her so badly, to be with her in every way he possibly could be. Jasper lifted his had, only to show the same attention to her other breast that he had the first. He hoped that by being under the warm blanket that his body wouldn't feel as cold, so as to make things more enjoyable for her. He also wanted to make sure that if they did go through with what he believed their intentions were, that he could please her first. He knew he had to be careful, and he knew that what they were doing was extremely dangerous for Bella. He was going to do everything he could to be cautious, but he knew that there were still many risks. Still, he knew that he loved her enough that he would protect her always, even from himself. He also knew that though they'd gone well past what should have been considered the point of no return, that if she actually did change her mind, he would be able to stop. He just loved her that much, that he'd do whatever it took to make her happy.
Jasper cold not really measure his body temperature. Since hot and cold did not really affect him, it was hard to know if he'd warmed up any, but he hoped that Bella would tell him if the cold made her uncomfortable. He knew she'd deny it from here until the end of time that she was feeling discomfort, but he hoped he'd be able to read her body signs if it was the contrary. He slid one of his hands out from under her and let it trail down over her hip and thigh. Very gently, he raised her leg to hook it around his waist. Keeping his lips against her breast, he raked his hand slowly up her inner thigh and lightly started to tease her entrance with his fingertips.
Bella was trying to be mindful of Jasper's needs and more importantly, his challenges. She knew it would be in his best interest and her own as well if she calmed down to the point where she could at least have a handle on her breathing patterns. But it was impossible. She couldn't even think straight enough to keep herself still when he continued to move his mouth over her breasts. He really had no idea what he was doing to her. Surely he could feel something, but she was convinced that Jasper wouldn't be able to feel exactly how it felt when such emotion, such sensation ran through her. He wouldn't be able to know exactly the way it affected her when the chill of his mouth burned against the warmth of her skin.
Her face flushed a deep shade of pink when his hand moved along her leg and coaxed it to secure around his waist. It was easy considering her body felt like clay in the manner in which it was so malleable to his touch. It was as if he knew exactly what it desired, the exact way to make her cheeks burn just a little bit more with every single brush of his fingers. When they dipped between her legs and he started to tease more intimate areas of her anatomy, Bella's muscles clenched. The leg that was around him was no exception and with the leverage that it provided, she could pull him closer while lifting her hips at the same time. It was no secret that she was eager.
The brunette didn't know how much longer she would be able to engage in foreplay. She could feel every inch of his body pressed to hers and that alone was enough to make her go insane with lust. But add in the way he was touching her, both with his fingers and his lips, and the poor girl was a hopeless case. Her pelvis continued to move against his hand, but even that wasn't enough to appease her eagerness. She needed to kiss him. As much as she didn't want him to stop what he was doing with her lips against her breast, she brought her hands gently beneath his chin to put a halt to his actions. Dipping her chin down, she shifted her body downward just slightly as well so she could reach his mouth.
But while kissing him satisfied a need, her breathing had become so erratic because of his teasing fingers that she had to pull away for a breath. Bella didn't go far though. Instead, she replaced her lips against his neck, kissing haphazard trails along the column of it. With her hands free again, they went traveling lower, one stopping on his hip opposite her leg and the other slipping around his waist to stroke his erection. Upon contact with his arousal, she groaned against his skin, an open-mouthed kiss to follow.
Jasper loved the way her body responded to his touch. It worried him most of the time that she was suffering due to the chill of his body temperature, but seeing her like this, he knew that she was far from anything that could be considered suffering. He could not feel the exact effect he had on her, physically, but emotionally he knew she was feeling pleasured. To an extent, he could tell she was enjoying herself physically; the way she was tightening her hold on him by shifting her leg against his back, the way her hands slid over his body .. the way her fingers curled around his erection.
He moaned a soft reply against her hair as her lips swept over his neck and her hand started stroking him. The heat of her hand against his arousal sent sharp jolts of pleasure coursing through his body. It made him want her more. His own fingers continued to pleasure her as well. He teased the sensitive bundle of nerves with his index finger, while his middle and ring fingers started to slip past her entrance. He could feel her own arousal as he dipped his fingers inside of her. He had to make sure she was ready for him, should they truly go through with what he thought they were heading towards. He wanted her to get as much pleasure out of this as he could give her. Especially since he knew it was likely she would not get as much out of it as he would if they progressed much further.
That thought... disheartened him a little. He closed his eyes and hid his face in her hair, but did not stop touching her. Jasper hated the idea of hurting her at all, especially when it was to give himself something that would feel pleasurable. He'd never had to worry about that before; he'd never made love to a human. He'd never even come close to that in his human life. Only a few kisses and the occasional wandering hands above clothing. He was also scared that he might lose control of himself and really, really hurt her - or worse. He knew he especially had a hard time with it. Loving her or not, he knew it was likely he'd lose himself, even just a little, by engaging in anything sexual with her. It'd been hard enough not to when they were in the hot tub. He was actually.. scared. He did not want her to know that, though. Not yet, at least.
Jasper worked his fingers inside of her, curling them as he slid them in and out of her. His other finger stroked at the tender spot just above and added a little pressure. Her hand on him felt incredible. Even if his mind had drifted slightly into his insecurities, there was no denying that she was having a tremendous physical effect on him. He kissed the top of her head and used his free hand to hold her up, arching her up against him.
Even if Jasper had to rely on just the way her body was speaking to him, she didn't think he would have any trouble reading it. Physically, there was just no way to deny what she wanted. He would have a first hand account of that when moved his fingers inside of her. It was not something Bella could exactly hide, nor could he hide the fact that he was aroused whenever she stroked him or moved his hips against his. Anatomy that was activated by desire was always hard to ignore and because they were so in tune with one another's bodies currently, there was no question that they were on the same level as each other. When he dipped his fingers in her entrance, Bella couldn't suppress another sound, a moan against the cool skin of his neck.
Because of his actions and the ones she was administering herself, she failed to notice that anything was wrong. If she would have known that Jasper was feeling apprehensive, she would have paused to make sure he was assured of the fact that he'd done nothing wrong, nor did she share the same fears he did. Bella held a lot more confidence in Jasper than he held within himself. She was fully aware of that and truth be told, she figured that Jasper knew it as well. Maybe it made him uncomfortable that she held more faith in him than he did in himself, but that didn't change the fact of the matter. He wouldn't hurt her – Bella was sure of that. And if he did for whatever reason, she wouldn't hold him accountable. There was sure to be a little pain involved with what they were quickly progressing toward, but that was a natural thing.
At the moment though, all Bella could register was pleasure and not one thing else. The way he curled his fingers in and out of her paired with his other finger toying with the little bundle of nerves felt incredible. That was something he wouldn't be able to doubt – how good he was making her feel. Too good, almost. For as aroused as she was, the excitement of this situation, and the way he continued to touch her, Bella was not going to be able to last much longer at all. She was ready. Her mouth continued to move against his neck, placing kisses every so often against the cool skin. Even with her forehead against his jaw, she felt almost feverish from the heat. While he might have worried about the cold of his skin, Bella was grateful for it. In fact, she felt a little warm the electric blanket against the leg she had around him.
With the hand she had on his hip, she grabbed the material and pulled at it, using her legs to help kick it off. It was too hot with it. Usually when she was sleeping and Jasper had his shirt of, the temperature of his skin warranted the blanket among layers of her own clothes. But this situation, though it shocked her to the extent, was so different. Once it was gone from immediate contact with her skin, Bella relaxed slightly. Or at least, as much as she could in the situation. Her leg secured again around his waist and the angle made his fingers feel electric. The pace at which she was stroking him increased when her hand wrapped around him fully. But like in the hot tub, it was hard to concentrate when his own fingers felt so good. Again, too good.
"Jasper…" she all but whimpered near his ear. "Please…" She didn't want to rush, but the poor girl couldn't hold out any longer.
Jasper would have been happy just to please her, to give her all the pleasure he could give and watch the effects play out on her features. He was always fascinated with her, and how beautiful he believed her to be, but he was especially intrigued by how he could bring her such pleasures. It was especially intimate for him because not only did he see it on her face, he could feel it rolling off of her through her emotions. It was an incredibly rewarding thing for him to be able to feel everything she was feeling.
He could feel sense of readiness coming from her, and he took that to mean she was wanting to take another step in their intimacy level. Jasper wanted it too, more than he was allowing himself to believe. She was pushing him towards the brink of ecstasy too, the way she was stroking his arousal. As she pushed the blanket off, he suddenly became very aware of how their bodies were already intertwined. With the blanket on, it was more discrete; same with being in the water. Laying like this, they were exposed and it was very obvious what direction this was heading in. It made it all the more real for Jasper, and made him all the more nervous and afraid.
He groaned against her hair as the speed of her hand increased. Jasper opened his eyes as she pleaded for more. He knew she was struggling to hold onto her sanity as it was, and for the record, so was he. That was a big part of why he was so afraid. He could not let himself lose his focus around her. It was too risky. He gasped in a sharp breath and hid his face in her hair. Very slowly, he withdrew his fingers from her and took her hand away from his arousal by lacing their fingers. It was a way that he hoped wouldn't feel like he was rejecting her touch, but just focusing attention elsewhere. He wanted to give her what she wanted, but he was so scared of the repercussions.
"Bella," he whispered, nuzzling her hair. If she could have seen his face, it would have been very obvious that he was struggling internally with this situation. "I don't want to hurt you."
He lifted his head slowly and looked down at her. "I want this, Belle. I want to make love to you. But what if I..." he trailed off the question softly, and lowered his eyes, unable to finish.
Even before he change the pace of his actions to a stop or he could pull away from her hair long enough to speak, Bella knew things had shifted. She could feel, even amongst the strong thrashes of desire and pleasure that ran through her body with every passing second at increasing intensities, that he was worried. At least, she attributed the shift to worry when she tried to assess him before he did wind up speaking. But it wasn't only worry that he felt – fear lingered there too. Apprehension. Nerves. His fingers putting a stop to the arousing actions of his own as well as hers against him were the next clue that something wasn't right about how he was feeling about the situation.
His words were next. There, she could audibly get a confirmation that he was worried. She immediately went to open her mouth in order to silence him and assure him that she wouldn't be hurt and that there was no need to be concerned in that case. But she stopped when she met his eyes and could see everything that he'd said and that she could feel coming from him written all over his face. Her heart jumped, but it was for a reason that was different than just on account of desire. Instead, Bella felt almost… guilty. Once more, she was reminded how breakable and fragile she really was. She may have tried to ignore the facts but upon looking at how strained he was, how conflicted, it was impossible to ignore it. The jump her heart felt turned into a pinprick when he couldn't even finish his words before he had to trail off and avert his eyes from hers.
This wasn't supposed to be painful. This was not supposed to be a situation that brought with it any negativity. Bella was in love with Jasper. Her body may have been fragile, yes. But her heart was something that had shattered so many times before that it honestly felt beyond repair. That was a far more fragile thing. But Jasper not only restored it, but he strengthened it. He not only caused it to beat again, but he caused it to beat stronger, with purpose. He was its purpose, Bella's purpose.
She leaned up to very gently touch her lips against his. That would be the end to his sentence – he didn't need to say anything else. "Jasper," she whispered, her tone soft but resolute.
The hand that wasn't holding his lifted to cup his cheek gently, thumb brushing against his pale cheekbone. "I love you. And I trust you," she assured him. "Don't be afraid," she said, kissing him softly again. "We can go slow. We'll just go slow."
It was amazing. Her own fears and nerves that came as a result of this being her first time were no longer anywhere to be found.
Bella trusted him. She loved him, trusted him, wanted to be with him. He didn't deserve any of it, but he had all of this right in front of him and it was almost too much for him. This was not the first time he'd been nearly overwhelmed by her and her love for him, but it still caught him off guard sometimes and surprised him. He knew he loved her deeply, it was just overwhelming at times to feel it reciprocated, from the girl he thought had the least amount of reason to care for him. It was because he loved her so much that he lifted his gaze back up to meet hers after she reassured him and kissed him.
He very gently squeezed her hand, then rested his forehead against hers. "Okay," he whispered.
Jasper released her hand momentarily so that he could slide it down the side of her body. He secured her leg around his waist and lovingly caressed her thigh. His fingers lovingly traced patterns up to her hip, where he squeezed gently and held her against him for a moment. He turned his head and kissed her then, as his hand slid between their entwined bodies to position himself at her entrance. He had to stop kissing her for just a moment to gasp for air, as he could feel the heat from the core of her body against him. He smiled just a little.
"I love you," he murmured, then kissed her again.
He would be very slow, and very gentle with her. Jasper knew that he couldn't possibly make it completely painless. Even if he used his power, he couldn't take away the physical feelings she had. He would do everything he could to ease her into it, though, and make it as pleasurable as possible. He would do everything in his power and more to keep himself under control. Jasper could not lose it with Bella. He could not let himself hurt her. He opened up, telling her of his fears and showing her a very vulnerable side. It seemed only appropriate; what they were about to do was something that would make them both very vulnerable to each other. He hoped she would recognize that, and know that his vulnerability was a sign of his love and trust in her.
Before he entered her, Jasper found her hand again and laced their fingers. His other hand stayed in a supportive position beneath her back, fingers splayed out against her skin. His lips parted from hers as he started to press into her, slowly but surely. He peppered her jawline and the side of her neck with kisses, and moaned softly against her warm skin. He whispered that he loved her several times as he pushed further into her. He did not stop, knowing that if he did it would just prolong any pain or discomfort she was feeling. At one point, he did raise up enough to look down at her, to make sure that if he was hurting her, that it wasn't causing her to suffer any. If it was too much, then they would stop, no questions asked.
Bella thought she was dreaming for a moment. Even the chill of his skin, something she frequently used as a reminder that she was very much awake and living in reality, didn't seem to help on account of how warm her own was. This was a scenario that perhaps would play out in her dreams. It often did in her daydreams for certain. But she didn't think – as much as she desperately wanted to in any case – that it might ever happen considering the differences that made it difficult. A small part of her – even though Jasper continued to prove that part wrong – still waited for him to say that it was too much and push her away, however gently. But he never did. He only pulled her closer, whispering his agreement and his trust in her words.
She let him arrange the two of them for proper positioning and all the while as she returned his kiss, she ignored nerves that were once more trying to surface. It was easier to do when she caught the hint of a smile before he told her he loved her and sealed it with another kiss. Bella was not only afraid that she would be… bad at this, or do something wrong so that he would not enjoy it, but she also feared that she would react in some way that would cause him to want to stop – whether it was a positive or a negative reaction. That fear came into play when he started to enter her and she felt pain.
It was by no means excruciating in nature, but it was certainly not comfortable. Pain was to be expected though. Bella had anticipated it, but tried not to dwell on it. After they had played around with one another in the hot tub, she felt a bit sore when she woke up the next morning, but that had been on account of it being the fact that such had been the first time anyone had ever touched her so intimately. Other parts of Jasper's anatomy were certainly bigger than his fingers had been and so Bella was feeling it now. Her eyes closed and she gasped very softly as he pushed inside of her slowly. She tried to concentrate on everything else except the pain. His lips against her neck and the soft promises of his love for her definitely helped, as did the way he was holding her hand. It was a small gesture that wasn't lost on Bella, even with everything else going on. The fact that he entwined their fingers was not only a sweet gesture, but a protective one as well.
She felt safe.
She tried to keep her breathing even, leaving her eyes closed as her body adjusted to having him inside of her. It didn't take very long and when she opened her eyes and found him looking down at her expectantly, Bella couldn't help but to smile. It was so endearing how concerned he was for her. She wouldn't lie and say it didn't hurt. But both of them knew it would. She also wouldn't lie, however, when she said it worth it. She touched her nose to his and nuzzled against his skin softly, not saying anything just yet. Jasper would know she was okay. Even though he might have been feeling a bit of discomfort coming from her, he would not be able to deny the overpowering feelings of love and adoration she had as well, on top of still strong feelings of desire and passion.
After a moment, she moved her hips slightly, getting used to the feel of him. It was not nearly as bad as she thought. Thus, she did it again. It caused her breath to hitch in her throat when her pelvis rolled against his, letting him know that this was okay, that she liked it. If he needed further clarification, Jasper would get it when she whispered that she loved him against his lips, followed by a kiss.
Jasper had no idea that this would feel as amazing as it did. He was no stranger to such intimate acts, but this was his first time with Bella, and he'd never felt anything like it. The heat he felt from being inside of her was intense, almost too much for him. But it felt so incredibly amazing that he did not dare pull away from her. He gazed down at her, constantly reading her emotions as they remained entwined as one. He could sense that she felt safe and loved, which was exactly what he wanted. He knew she must've been in at least some degree of pain, which he wasn't happy about but knew was inevitable. But he hoped that if nothing else, she would feel his love and desire to make her feel secure. He'd achieved both of those things, which made him confident in his choice to continue on.
The pain she was experiencing, he felt very guilty for being the cause of it, but he knew it would go away eventually. She would no doubt be sore in the aftermath, but that was something else he hoped would pass the more they engaged in this intimate act. That is, if she wanted to after this initial time. Jasper would never force her, or try to make her feel obligated, but he would not ever be able to contain his desire of her. Especially after this night. Making love to Bella gave him the most incredible feeling, both physically and emotionally. He'd never felt closer to her than he did in this moment. They were connected emotionally in a way they never had been before. Physically, he was feeling an indescribably amount of pleasure already, just from initially entering her. The tight fit of the joining of the bodies was almost too much for him as it was.
When she started to move her hips, it caught him by surprise. He gasped against her neck and the hand bracing her back pressed a little harder against her. He let go of her hand, so that he could slide his newly freed hand down the side of her body to clutch onto her hip. He moaned his pet name for her against her skin and held tightly to her. Her actions told him that she was becoming more accustomed to his presence within her, and because of that he continued on. He withdrew partially, then pressed into her again, still very slow and deliberate, but with a pronounced rhythm. He repeated this motion again, then again. As the resistance he felt from his motions began to subside and her body began to welcome his, he moved his hips a little faster, a little harder.
When he wasn't gasping, or giving her the chance to breathe, Jasper was kissing her. Her lips, her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, her breasts, her shoulders. He kissed everywhere his lips could reach and clutched her against him. He needed Bella to know she was pleasing him, that she was giving him more pleasure than he ever thought imaginable. He just hoped that she would start to enjoy it, too, and that it would be more than just pain for her this first time.
If he wanted her to start enjoying it, Jasper wouldn't have to wait very much longer at all. The next couple of times he moved inside of her, her body continued to adjust. It wouldn't take long for the pain she'd felt before to morph into something entirely different – pleasure. Perhaps some of the pain still lingered and it was indeed true that she would feel sore late on, but in the meantime, it didn't seem to exist any longer as she realized the rhythm of his hips and began to match her own to it.
The sensations were unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Of course, the newest was the way he felt inside of her. Since Bella had never done this before, her body had to get used to him, but once it did, it was as if she were welcoming him, like he was a new friend that needed embracing. Even when he was inside her, she could feel the chill from his skin which was, as a result, an electrifying experience when it was compared with how warm she was. She liked the way he was holding her, the way his fingers put pressure against her skin and kept her close to him. It was a reminder that he wasn't going anywhere and to Bella, that was a comfort. If anything, it didn't feel like he could hold her tight enough, like they weren't close enough.
Everywhere his lips touched seemed to burn rather than freeze. When his mouth brushed hers, she kissed him back, but was having trouble on account of the way her breathing was severely altered and she couldn't seem to catch a breath. Sounds were becoming more frequent as well. They were all soft, but the amount of moans and sighs and whimpers as he picked up his pace seemed to increase. Jasper was making it very difficult for her to have any doubts that he wasn't enjoying himself, that she wasn't doing this right. Just the way he reacted to her body, the way he touched her, whispered her name – all reassurances that gave Bella confidence. She was pleasing him. She was accomplishing the goal that she only ever wanted to strive for, which was making him happy.
Her soldier, her Jasper.
The confidence allowed for her to move. Her hips lifted slightly to meet his each time he thrust into her. She liked the way the muscles in his shoulders shifted beneath her fingers when he entered her and pulled out again. The hand that wasn't splayed against his back held onto his hip, keeping him close even through the motions. But everything was affecting her, everything was making it impossible for Bella to think about anything but the indescribable feelings that were building within her. And they were building. To a point where she almost like as if she were outside of her own body, something that she couldn't put into words. The connection between them was deeper than it had ever been on every single level.
It was, in a word, amazing to her.
Jasper felt similarly to her. He felt like he couldn't hold her tight enough, and truth be told, he wasn't holding her as tightly as he could. Though he was unintentionally clutching her tighter than he usually did, he was still trying his best to be careful not to squeeze too tight or kiss her for too long. He was even making an effort to control how hard he was moving his hips against her, for he knew that one false move and he could shatter her pelvis. That wasn't exactly conducive for his desires, and certainly wouldn't be for hers. So he was trying his best to maintain at least some level of control. It was slipping a little, as was evident in how he held her, but he was not using enough force to break bones or cause her discomfort for the time being. Still, he did long to hold her tighter and kiss her longer.
The feel of her warm breath against his icy skin was so alluring, as were the sweet sounds she was making between gasps for air. It was very apparent to him that most of the physical pain and discomfort she'd been experiencing were starting to disappear. That was very reassuring for Jasper, and made him want to continue to please her. It was very encouraging to know that he was bringing her pleasure despite the pain she must have been feeling before. And if he'd known she was worried about pleasing him, all she'd have to do was take one look at his face to know she was giving him pleasure beyond his comprehension.
The pleasure he felt was so intense, that it was starting to become too much for him. Not in a way that would make him need to stop, but in a way that made him want so much more. A knot was tying tightly in his stomach as the pleasure built up inside of him. His hips moved faster against hers, a longer, soft moan escaping his lips as he felt her heat embracing him again and again, each time he pushed into her. He was close, dangerously close to reaching the brink of ecstasy, All he was going to need was just another little push and she'd help him to give in to the pleasure that was very close to consuming him. He wanted very much for her to reach that point, too. He didn't know if it was possible, due to the pain he'd just put her through, but he was going to do everything he possibly could to get her there. Jasper rolled his hips as he moved within her, now entering her at slight angle. The friction was even more incredible and drew more sounds from him.
he knew he wasn't going to last much longer, but he could feel Bella was building towards the peak of her pleasure. It didn't seem possible she'd be able to reach it; from what he knew of human girls having this experience, it was rare that they got there on their first time. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to give her everything he could.
"Belle... Bella..." her name left his lips, disappearing into her hair as he rolled his hips up against her and held her tighter against him. He tried to whisper his love, but his voice hitched and all he could do was groan against her.
Bella felt as if she were flying. She felt weightless and yet grounded all at the same time. It was a pleasant sort of contradiction. She often found herself having those experiences when she was with Jasper and each time, it left her feeling closer to him than ever. Not was certainly no difference and it was already established that this was the deepest connection they could have had with one another.
She was aware of every single thing about their surroundings suddenly. Her senses, while never anywhere near his in terms of acuity, were heightened. Every last one of them was in fine tune with their actions and everything that surrounded them. Being so close to him, Bella felt immersed in his scent, her favorite smell. It soothed and calmed her, even though her heart was racing. Her ears picked up on every sound that left his lips and she quickly learned that one of the newest things she loved about Jasper was the sounds he made when he was experiencing any type of physical pleasure. Her name sounded like velvet when it left his lips and his groans were enough to draw some of her own if his actions didn't cause such a reaction on their own. But the strongest of the brunette's senses, hands down, had been touch of course. The way his skin felt against her whenever he moved sent delicious chills up her spine, not wholly as a result of his naturally cooler temperature.
If she could have, Bella would have drawn this out forever, content on always staying entwined with him, moving as one and experiencing everything the other had to offer on a new and exciting level. But making it last forever was impossible and it soon became very apparent that even making it last five minutes more would not be an achievable goal. At least, not for Bella. She was too wrapped up in him, in this whole experience, that it only took a few more thrusts of his hips into hers before she couldn't help but to give into the pleasure that had been mounting since they'd stepped foot back in the cabin after getting caught in the rain. The way he was entering her at an angle now was what made it impossible to prolong. Because she'd had that experience after the hot tub, Bella knew when she was on the threshold of ecstasy. She was there now; there was no mistaking that.
Her eyes fluttered closed and she managed to touch her lips to his in a slightly haphazard kiss before she had to gasp for a breath. Her head settled back against the pillows then, leg tightening around his waist to keep him as close as she could. Her entire body felt as if it had been exposed to a live wire and she was infused with pleasure. The hand that had been on his back moved to his hair, fingers threading through the locks. Because she was so fixated on how good she felt and the electrifying waves that were flooding through her body, she didn't realize how tightly she was clutching onto them. The fingers in his hair twisted and she pulled on his curls while the other hand that had been on his hip had her nails digging into his skin. Even though she couldn't have hurt him, Bella still would have felt slightly guilty for being a bit… forward when she was incapacitated by pleasure.
"Jasper…" she choked out. Her lips found his then to whisper she loved him and a groan was to follow.
It felt like time had stopped and that for several minutes, hours even, that Bella was caught in such a whirlwind of bliss. It was only seconds though – glorious ones at that – until she began to came back down.
Jasper wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to keep this up. As amazing as it was, and as incredible as it felt, he knew it that it had to come to an end probably sooner rather than later. He wanted more than anything for her to reach that point of pleasure that would make her toes curl and her body writhe in ecstasy. He'd seen her reach that point once before, and he knew she was well on her way to there before they'd started to make love. He just feared that she wouldn't be able to get there because of the discomfort she had to be feeling from their actions. He could feel it building within her and hoped with just a little more effort, he could get her there. He knew he could use his power to flood her with the desire that would get her to that point quickly, but he didn't want to do that.
Fortunately, he didn't have to.
The first time he'd watched her reach the peak of her pleasure, Jasper had been captivated by how beautiful she looked. He could feel what she was feeling inside, and it was as beautiful as she'd appeared on the outside as well. Her features did not contort unnaturally or scrunch up. Just like before, she'd arched into his touch and let her body naturally move to accommodate to the pleasure that was coursing through her. He wanted to stop, so he could watch her again as she rode out the waves of her climax, but he knew that if he kept moving it would heighten what she was feeling. Not to mention, it was heightening his own pleasure.
He knew she would be exhausted after this. He did not try to prolong this anymore. Jasper gave in to his desires and let himself go. He let go of her though, because he knew he was likely to really hurt her in the throes of his passion. He clutched at the sheets, feeling the fabric tear beneath his grasp. He really didn't care. His hips jerked a couple of times as he felt her tightening around him through the waves of her climax, and that was enough to set off his. He gasped and felt his release hit, his shoulders tensing and his body shaking a bit as he came inside of her. The knot in his stomach finally came loose, and jolts of pleasure shot through his limbs. When it passed, he managed to stay up, rather than collapsing on her. Fortunately for him, Jasper did not get tired. He was just very satiated in his desires.
Slowly, he rolled off of her and onto the bed. As he did, he pulled Bella against him and hid his face in her hair. He nuzzled the side of her head, his eyes still closed. The afterglow of their lovemaking was starting to flood his senses, overpowered only by his happiness. He could still hear her heart beating, and she wasn't screaming in pain from any broken bones. He hadn't broken her. He hadn't killed her. She was safe. She was in his arms. He hadn't lost his control.
Jasper smiled into her hair and held her close. "I love you so much," he whispered. "Are you all right?" He started to slowly stroke her hair and her back, tracing his fingers along the curve of her spine. "Did I hurt you?"
Even though this was not the first time that she had experience such a peak of pleasure in his presence, and it was also not the first time she'd witness him doing the same, everything about this time was different. They had reached that climatic point together. Before Bella could even finish riding out the waves of the intensity of her own orgasm, Jasper's occurred. It was unlike anything she could describe. The way he continued to move inside of her, the way her muscles tightened around him – all of it made the experience so much more special. It had been special in the hot tub of course, and Bella was very pleased with the way things had happened that evening as well. But this was so intense, so much more… erotic. Such was to be expected considering they had gone through to the next step in the relationship.
When he let go of her, she was slightly disappointed to lose the touch of his hands, but Bella kept her fingers firmly secured against his body, one still on his hip, the other still entwined within his hair until he finished. His body tensed and shook and she did her best to soothe him as his climax overtook him, but it was difficult to do the best job she could have considering she was still in a significant amount of pleasure herself. She stayed that way until Jasper rolled over onto his side. Instantly, Bella missed his presence inside of her, something that she didn't expect but that existed nonetheless. But when he pulled her against him, it calmed her and she gladly snuggled against his side.
There was such an overpowering exhaustion that she felt and in addition, she felt as if she were very full, satisfied. That only made her feel all the more relaxed. She was slightly sore, but because it had still been so recently that she went through such a surge of pleasure, it was considerably dulled; not at all something she was dwelling on now. An arm draped across his chest and her cheek lay against his shoulder, grateful for his cold skin. The chill allowed her to calm herself down easier, slowing her previously racing heartbeat and course of breathing. She was overwhelmed with the happiness coming off of him and it mingled with her own.
And that was exactly what Bella was – incredibly happy.
Her eyes remained closed as his fingers trailed soothing lines down her spine and when he spoke, she mumbled something before shaking her head at his last question. He didn't hurt her in the least bit as far as she was concerned. Pain, after that initial bit that came along with him entering her and stretching her core, was not something that registered at all. But even that initial sliver of it was not his fault. It was just the way their bodies were made and how the sexual process unfolded. She hoped he wouldn't blame himself for that, but she would assure him later that there was no need. For now, all she could do was whisper her affection for him after shaking her head 'no.' "
I love you, Jasper," she said, tightening her arm around him and entwining her leg with one of his
Jasper could feel the happiness that was rolling off of her in gentle waves. It felt as though her happiness was embracing him just as she was. Her warm skin pressed against his icy body was a constant reminder of her presence, that she was there with him and that he'd managed to keep control of himself. He was not a prideful person, really, but he was very proud of himself in that moment. He'd been able to do what he thought was impossible. It made him feel like maybe overcoming his thirst the way his family had really was within his reach. He would thank her for that later; he wasn't sure if she realized how much she'd helped him with that over their time together. He'd find a way to tell her, to thank her properly and let her know how much it meant to him.
He used the hand that wasn't stroking her back to close around hers that was on his chest. He brought that hand up to his lips and kissed her palm, then the back of her hand and her knuckles. It was a relief to know he hadn't hurt her, at least beyond what he knew she had to have endured initially. Jasper had never thought they'd be able to achieve such a connection. He knew he loved her and that she was his everything, and he knew that she loved him deeply as well. He knew they shared an unbreakable bond, but he did not think it possible that they would be able to be so intimate. The fact that they could and had without incident meant so much to him.
"I wish you could know how much I love you," he said softly, kissing the top of her head. "And how much it means to me that you love me too."
He closed his eyes and just savored being close to her. Even if the world came to a crashing end right now, they would always have this moment. Nothing else mattered, except for the two of them. The rest of the world be damned; he had his Bella, and she was all he needed. They could go back to reality tomorrow if they had to, but right now, in this moment, they could allow their worlds to revolve around each other.
Jasper kissed her temple, then laid his head back against his pillow. He knew she must have been exhausted. He started to stroke her back soothingly again, and hummed softly. It wasn't any tune in particular, he just made it up as he went along. If he could have fallen asleep, now would have been the perfect time. Fortunately for him, he did not need slumber; instead he just relaxed, and did his best to lull her to sleep.
Content would have been the only other word to best describe Bella in the aftermath of their love making aside from happiness. But at the same time, such a thing was not a complete blessing. Because she was so happy, so content, she was comfortable enough to be sleepy. Of course their actions had left her exhausted alone, something that she didn't understand would happen to the extent in which it did. However, it seemed to have wiped the girl out completely.
She could hear Jasper speaking, but it sounded very distant, as if she were already dreaming and that was how his voice sounded when she was with him while she were engaged in one. It was soft and reassuring and it made her feel as if there were no place in the world that would be better than right here, right with this beautiful creature who make her feel unlike anyone ever had. That was the truth though; this was the only place Bella wanted to be. Even if she was tired, she was still with Jasper and she would be okay with sleeping if she had to.
It seemed as if she certainly had to with the way she started drifting off right away. Even though she would be okay with sleeping, Bella still would have preferred to stay awake with him for the whole of the night. She felt closer to him than she ever had before, a fact that was amazing in and of itself considering to how connected the two of them were to one another prior to this day. For that reason, she wanted to draw out her consciousness so they could talk at least. But Bella couldn't even seem to respond to his words before she was already well on way to sleeping. The soft way he began to hum did nothing to prevent this. That night would be dreamless for Bella. But it didn't matter.
Reality was far better than anything she would have been able to dream up.
Author's Note: Oh, we definitely want you to review this one. Was it worth the wait? This is only the beginning of Jasper and Bella's intimate life. The next chapter will have the aftermath of their first time and maaaaaybe a little more :) Please remember to review, follow, and favorite! Cheers!
Lyrics: Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran