Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love ;;
Everything was symbolic with Jasper and Bella. Of course there were things that were taken at face value – their emotions contributing the most to that portion. But there was also a portion of their relationship that was strengthened and defined by symbolism. Their initials on the column that Jasper had carved had been one hint of it. The way he held his hand over hers to turn the key together was yet another.
Bella easily could have opened the lock on her own, or else given him the key to do the honors himself. But this was how it should have been – together. It symbolized the idea that this was the beginning of a long stretch of memories that together they would share in this place. Since it was for the both of them , it made it easier for Bella to accept. The fact that this would be their home made her look past the thought of it being a birthday present. This was so much more than any gift she ever could have received. This was a promise for a future. And suddenly, in this moment despite the fact that there was so much danger lingering in their reality, that aforementioned future seemed a lot longer. Endless.
Another symbolism of how much she loved him – endlessly.
When the lock was turned and the door was opened, Bella paused before stepping foot inside. Standing on her toes, she reached her free hand that wasn't holding the key up to cup his cheek so she could lean up to meet his mouth for another kiss. It was brief, but like their liplock a moment ago, Jasper would still be able to feel everything in that kiss, just as he allowed for her to do as well. Those emotions all matched. Those feelings all fit together and played off one another effortlessly. She flashed him a smile when she lowered back to her feet, the soles of her sneakers touching the ground. The choice of footwear didn't really fit the rest of the outfit considering the dress Esme had picked out for her was nothing short of exquisite, but they were comfortable for Bella and they were characteristic of her awkward sense of style. Rosalie, of course, had looked at them and scoffed, but Bella also caught the way that Carlisle shot her a look at the first hint of a disgusted sigh.
Upon entering the house, Bella honestly didn't know where to look first. The floors were all a beautiful light-colored hardwood. The look of the entire house was so modern and yet, there was something so charming about it, she noted as they entered into the main open hallway. It was different sort of layout, one that she had never seen before. The staircase was in the hallway, the most beautifully sloping set of steps she'd ever encountered. It even rivaled Esme's back at the Cullen house. But if the staircase was beautiful, it was just plain ordinary in comparison to what lay beyond it. From the floor to the ceiling, windows formed a half circle on the back wall of the house. Outside, the harbor was lit up, twinkling lights from the boats docked far in the distance. They looked so small where they sat on the edge of the water, so much so that the lights were like fireflies stuck in between the deep blue of the water and the darker shade of the sky. Her breath caught in her throat at the open, beautiful view.
In awe, Bella drifted toward the wall of windows in the rear of the house, keeping a hold on Jasper's hand the entire time, but unable to focus on anything but the magic of the house's landscape. "Oh," she exhaled softly. "This… Jasper," she said, looking up at him to make sure that he was seeing the same thing that she was, the same level of elegance. But surely, he'd seen this before.
"Wow," she uttered, shaking her head softly.
Her speechlessness was endearing. Jasper knew that Bella was quite possibly the most unassuming person he'd ever met. She did not expect any of this, did not expect him to buy things for her, or even to think about such things like their future together, to ensure she would always have a home near her father, and to consider everything else he'd thought of in having this home created for their needs. She did not expect it, and she appreciated everything he did for her.
Jasper in turn did not expect her gratitude because to him, she deserved everything he had to give her and so much more. He perhaps had a bit more appreciation for all the extravagance his lifestyle had to offer than the rest of his family, because he was not privileged with it for so long, the way they had been for the entirety of their vampiric lives. Perhaps only Carlisle could appreciate things the way he did when it came to spending money. Whatever the case, he was happy to be able to provide them a home to make Bella's transition a little easier, and to assure her that things would be able to stay as they were as much as possible.
Jasper followed her through the house, all the way to the back where the tall windows revealed the gorgeous view the property had to offer. It was similar to the view the cabin had, but Jasper found it to be even more beautiful. He was much more interested in watching her and her reaction, because to him there was no more breath-taking sight than Bella herself. He said nothing for the time being, wanting instead for her to take in as much as she could at first sight. When he finally did speak, his words followed a tender kiss to her forehead.
"I'm glad it pleases you. There's still much to see," he said quietly, and with their fingers still laced he started to walk her through the rest of the expansive luxury home.
"All of this furniture is subject to change. I had it delivered on a trial basis. If there are any changes you want to make, I don't want you to be afraid to tell me. This is our home. I just did not want you to walk into a slew of empty rooms."
He led her through the large, open kitchen which also overlooked the same view. There was already food stocked in the refrigerator and pantry in case she wanted anything else that night and for her breakfast in the morning before he had to take her back to Charlie's. There was a large media room with dimmer lights to give a more cozy atmosphere for when they wanted to curl up and watch movies. There were extra rooms, for the occasional visit from any family members. He showed her the wine cellar, lightly joking that he doubted there would be any white wine stored there. The garage came next, and he made sure to show her there would be plenty of room for her truck.
The last room Jasper took her into was what would be their bedroom. It was very large and open, with large windows and glass doors leading onto the wrap around vaulted deck. There was a fire place, a flat screen television in case they wanted to watch tv or movies in bed, which speaking of was quite large as well.
"If you'd like to pick out a different bed, it's not a problem. Again, I just wanted to give you an idea of what it would look like in the room."
The master bath was next, which had a large walk in shower with glass walls, a well lit vanity for her and a very nice tub for them should they want to use it. Jasper knew that this was a lot for her to absorb, so he took her back out to the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed with her.
"Are you all right?" he asked. "Is this, all right? If it's too much, we can leave and I'll take you home."
The rest of the house was just as beautiful as what Bella had seen from the outside and from simply walking into the entrance hallway. Jasper was patient with her as he led her throughout the rest of the lavish estate, letting her get a good look at everything as they entered into each room, not one more enticing than another. She assured him that the furniture he'd picked out was perfect and that she wouldn't have chosen anything to be changed. That was the truth, too, not something said just to keep him from worrying. Bella was a go with the flow sort of girl for certain, but that didn't mean she didn't have any opinions of her own. They just had similar tastes to one another and so, it all worked out as far as décor was concerned.
Each time they entered into a new place in the house, Bella's mind instantly started to wander, drifting to what their future could be like in this house. When he showed her the kitchen, she imagined making meals together for her like they did when they were at the cabin. She could also see the two of them standing there at the island in the center, playfully nudging each other and flirting—her referring to him as an old man, him teasing her about being a klutz. It would be like the cabin, yes. But this was all so different. This was their own. These would be their own memories to create here, their own home to make together.
When he said those words "our home" as he was explaining about the furniture, Bella's heart skipped another beat. When they entered it, she too, thought about how nice it would be to curl up in the media room with one another and watch movies or silly things on television that really neither of them were interested in, but rather, were just content to enjoy each other's company in close quarters. The fact that there were other rooms made her happy too when she thought about family coming to see them. That family included her parents, though she didn't know how she would explain why she still looked nineteen – Jasper as well – years down the line when they came to stay. It was a complication she didn't want to think about.
Even the garage made her smile when Jasper so thoughtfully made mention of her beloved truck. She liked that he respected how fond of it she was, even though it would be the only thing really out of place in such an expensive luxury home. Even next to Annabelle, it would hide in the shadows and yet, she still loved it. Jasper accepted that and never once tried to get her to try to think about upgrading to something more modern. Or at least, something that was capable of going 100 miles per hour.
She spent more time taking in the beauty of the bedroom and the connecting bathroom with it. Again, a flood of possibilities entered her mind and she imaged that they would spend a lot of time here, even when she was immortal and no longer needed to separate their time with periods of needed sleep.
When he sat her down and asked, in all seriousness, if everything was all right, Bella had to give him a look that probably made it seem as if she thought he were crazy for asking such a thing.
"Jas," she said, sliding her hand down his arm until her fingers found his. "This is perfect," she said.
Despite the look of incredulousness she gave him a moment earlier, she too, was serious about this. But she was feeling far too light-hearted to keep a grin off her face or the sparkle out of her eyes as she gazed at him.
"Don't worry. Please?" she asked in case he would continue to do just that. Leaning into him, she reached for a kiss. The brunette let her lips linger for a few moments to savor the taste of him before she pulled back with a smile and patted the bed with her free hand, looking back at the rest of it.
"And the bed is perfect," she said. "Mortimer will be very pleased with his new home."
Jasper would have understood if she'd been too overwhelmed by the house. He had gone into a bit of a culture shock when he first became part of the Cullen household. Of course, he'd gone from not having any home at all, roaming the streets and forests, to being a bit more civilized and occasionally staying in hotels. Then once he came to stay with the Cullens, he was thrown right into a lavish lifestyle and made to live in a house bigger than any he'd ever seen. Going from having next to nothing to not even having to bat an eyelash for something he only sort of wanted was not easy to adjust to. For many months he barely even moved, only when he had to, because he was afraid he'd sit on the wrong couch or read a book he wasn't supposed to touch. Or god forbid, break something. Most of that was all self-imposed, but Jasper could understand if Bella felt entirely too uncomfortable sitting in a house like this. He hoped in time she'd feel better about it and that this wouldn't just be a house; it would be their home. That was why he tried to implement elements of familiarity, such as a place for her truck.
As they sat on the bed together and she started to reassure him that she felt better, Jasper did not rely on her words. He read the emotions behind them to know if she was truly feeling all right about this or if she was just saying it to make him feel better. The latter was not something he suspected, but he was so cautious to make sure Bella was happy that he could not help but check. He watched her as she spoke, and nodded once when she told him not to worry anymore about it. It did make him feel more relieved to let go of his fear that she would not want to live there with him, and instead look forward to it.
Jasper smiled as he kissed her, happy to let it linger a bit longer than she may have intended. The taste of her lips was something he felt he would never grow tired of. He loved her kisses and the way her soft lips molded to his mouth. It saddened him that he could not provide the same sweetness that she did, but he also knew that however it felt to her must have been at least somewhat enjoyable since she never would hesitate to kiss him back or initiate the affection herself. Once he got over the idea that she felt obligated to kiss him and explored the option that she might actually enjoy it, Jasper felt more compelled to kiss her for much longer periods of time. Of course, this was a risk to his thirst, but he simply could not help himself. Perhaps that was selfish of him, but it was something he knew made her happy too.
At the mention of his stuffed moose nemesis, Jasper very nearly hissed on the spot. He didn't know why he held such contempt for that stuffed animal, but something about it made his skin crawl. He raised an eyebrow at Bella and eyed her for a moment.
"I.. suppose.. Though I wonder if perhaps he'd find he had more room to stretch his legs in one of the guest beds? I wouldn't want him cramped. Or maybe he'd be better off staying in your room at Charlie's, even. He likes taking up space in your bed." Though he did not particularly care for that thing, if Bella wanted it in the bed then he'd comply.
"Regardless, he's going to have to deal with it when I want you to myself..." he murmured, leaving a lingering kiss right where her neck met her jaw.
A shiver shot up her spine when the chill of Jasper's lips touched the sensitive spot just where her jawline ended and her neck began. He had to have known the effect he had on her now, even with the smallest touch, the littlest kiss to her skin. One thing was for certain – all it took was that gentle touch of his mouth and Bella forgot completely about everything else.
"Well…" she said, dipping her head slightly to catch his mouth for a kiss. "You have me all to yourself now." Bella kissed him again after that, sparing no room for a response unless it involved kissing.
That realization was driving her actions. He had her to himself. They were alone. Just the two of them.
Such a thing had been nearly impossible to come by in the recent weeks. Even when it was just them in Bella's room at night, they were never completely alone. Just outside the window, somewhere in the vicinity of the Swan's backyard was always another one of the Cullens. If Jasper was able to stay over at night, there would be two people keeping watch over the house. When he couldn't come because of further planning back at his house or because he was in need of a hunt, there was usually only one who stayed outside Bella's house. It was mostly Emmett on account of he was the one who would be able to fend off a stray newborn by himself better than anyone if Jasper couldn't be there himself should such a situation occur. Carlisle had too much to do in terms of further negotiations with the wolves and planning, especially when Jasper was at the Cullen home for the night to go over things with him. Bella understood of course, and it was difficult. But she endured it, just like Jasper was.
However, whenever they were reunited, it was like years had passed. Because Bella was still strictly grounded before this point, she couldn't see him as often as she would have liked. Thus, she made the most of the time they did have together. But it wasn't easy with very human hormones. Bella couldn't seem to keep her hands to herself when Jasper was in her bed. Touches and kisses were urgent and needy more often than not. But there was always a point – a damn difficult one – where they would have to pull away from each other to consider the circumstances. Again, there was always another one of his family members just outside and again, it was mainly Emmett more than any of the was probably able to hear every word that passed between them in any case. Poor Jasper would probably be getting the brunt of that teasing, so there was no need to fuel the fire.
Despite how badly Bella would have loved to fuel Jasper's fire.
And then there was Charlie. The chief of police might not have been the lightest sleeper, but he would definitely be able to hear it if Bella couldn't stifle her groans when Jasper's finger ghosted under her shirt or started to kiss her neck. Even if Jasper would have been quick enough to hide should Charlie wake up and come over, it would have been extremely difficult for Bella to explain why she was making such a commotion. Therefore, there was a lot of frustration when those aforementioned hormones were forced to be put on the back burner and the two of them had to settle for PG-rated actions before Bella drifted off to sleep, worn out by sexual tension in the air.
She could feel hints of that tension building up now. But there was a major difference; they were alone. This was their place. It wasn't being guarded or watched over or eavesdropped upon. There wasn't the risk of her father bursting in the room or hearing howls of laughter from the trees outside. It was private. It was romantic. It was theirs. The thought made Bella's heart feel light and her emotions run stronger, something that he would get a firsthand account of as she continued to kiss him.
"I won't… tell him… if… you won't…" she mumbled between kisses.
Though Jasper knew that Bella was unaware of her levels of sensuality, he of course was very aware of them. His attraction to her should have been no secret, but he also knew that Bella had no idea how attractive she was to him. For that, he sometimes felt that he was not doing a good enough job of showing how alluring he found her to be, but he also knew that Bella was the type to forever dismiss that notion. He was the same way, though he felt he had reason to be. But Bella had an extraordinary effect on him. He'd always found her to be pretty, but it was not until they were together that he allowed himself to look at her in a way that let his desires take hold. Everything about her captivated him. He was so taken by her at times that he could not look away from her.
It was true that their moments of physical intimacy had been few and far between ever since they came back from their impromptu getaway. The problem had been the fact that they had no privacy, or a location that could provide what they needed in order to be together in such a way. It was impossible to engage in anything sexual in Bella's bed. For one, the last thing he needed was for Emmett to look inside and see them, much less hear all of it from wherever he was outside. Even worse, there was the possibility of Charlie finding out he'd been in her room.
Jasper had a hard time controlling his strength in the midst of making love to Bella, and it was highly likely that he would rip the sheets of her bed and possibly even break the headboard if he got his hands on it. Jasper didn't feel right about trying to make love in the Cullen house, either. He was such a private person anyway. He didn't feel comfortable with it. They'd tried while in his car, but Annabelle wasn't exactly known for being a spacious car. Fate seemed to be momentarily against them in that regard.
Now that they had this home of their own, Jasper felt they would have many opportunities to engage in making love if they wanted to. That wasn't the only reason he purchased the spacious house, of course. It was for their future. But he would've been lying if he'd said he didn't think about it at least a little when he bought the place.
He returned each of her kisses, and could feel the desire from her building. It was a very nice advantage for him to be able to feel her emotions. He knew she wasn't pretending to want him; she truly did desire him, and that meant a lot to him given his low opinion of his himself. One hand slid to rest on her cheek while the other lowered down her side to squeeze her hip lightly.
"My lips are sealed, " he whispered against her mouth, "by yours." Jasper kissed her passionately, his own desires intermingled with hers and nearly overwhelmed him. "I love you," murmured, and pulled her against his chest. His lips found hers again and he continued to kiss her and breathe in her scent through his nose.
Bella knew that Jasper would never alter her emotions. That being said, she knew that he wasn't doing anything intentional to get her to feel the desire she was feeling for him now. That was still his doing, yes. But it was nothing that could be helped. He couldn't help the fact that he was so alluring to her, that he always made her so tempted to just throw out all her cares or worries and just concentrate on him and the way he was making her feel. It was hard when those feelings had to be stifled for whatever reason - because they couldn't be together, because they couldn't be together privately, or anything else that may have conflicted with spending time with one another in such a carefree manner as they had when they went to the cabin. Or like they were able to do now.
When he returned her kisses, that aformentioned desire for him only increased. It was one thing that she was so attracted to him on his own, with no other factors contributing to that. But when it was paired with the fact that it had fully sunk in that this house could have a lot more advantages that extended beyond any other sort of birthday present, Bella was having trouble controlling the way she was acting. That, of course, was mainly due to the fact that she had hormones that had been forced to be suppressed for the sake of everyone else. That was one of the worse things, one of the most difficult elements of Bella still being human - her teenage hormones. And though she was a year closer to leaving behind her teenage years altogether, that didn't mean there was any change in the way her body reacted when she was filled with desire. Anytime that Jasper's mouth moved against her, such a thing occurred in a way that never would cease to amaze her.
"I love you too," she whispered in response, pressing her lips to his when he pulled her closer to him.
It still didn't feel close enough though. But that was something that Bella would attempt to remedy. She shrugged off his jacket that had been keeping her warm. It was a little sad to be rid of the cozy garment that had smelled so strongly of him, but she figured she wouldn't be too heartbroken when she had the real thing in her arms. And, the house was rather warm, after all, something she took note of as being because his thoughtfulness. The entire time, including when she also removed the little sweater she'd been wearing over her dress, she continued to kiss him, keeping her mouth attached to his. Her arms wrapped around his neck when they were free of the other material and she couldn't help herself from moving into his lap.
She might have been moving a little bit quickly, but Bella truly hoped Jasper wouldn't be opposed. If he was, she could of course, respect that and would gladly slow things down until he was comfortable. Even if he didn't want to be quite so physical, the brunette would have been all right with that as long as she would still be able to lay in his arms at the very least. But by now, even she had enough confidence to think that it would be very unlikely. Either way, she would find out how Jasper felt when she broke from his mouth to cover his face with tiny kisses. Her lips brushed against his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, his jawline - anywhere she could reach. They were fairly innocent, but the way her fingers fisted the material of his shirt with both hands might have had another connotation.
"I've missed this," she whispered when her lips trailed to his ear. Moving her mouth downward, she placed another line of kisses until she finally met his lips again.
Jasper had missed it too, more than she knew. Not just the rush of desire and need for Bella physically, but the intimacy as well. His world was dominated by emotions and being with her like this, he was able to express how he felt about her through his actions and the emotions behind them. She could feel everything he felt, and he could convey how much he wanted her, needed her, just by holding her, kissing her. She could know when he was kissing her neck, or running his hands down her body, just how beautiful and desirable he felt that she was. Being able to make love to her was especially intimate. Not only because it joined their bodies and felt incredible, but also because he knew Bella could feel his love for her in its most raw, intense state.
He had not brought her here explicitly to get her into their bed, and Jasper knew Bella knew that. Now that they were there, however, he did not think that they would be leaving anytime soon. He could feel the rise in Bella's hormones and was certain he would've been able to do so even without the use of his power. If there was one thing Bella couldn't hide from him, it would be this. It was a bit amusing to him at times, how she could get so worked up in her passion, when she did not seem the type at first glance. Then again, he was pretty sure he was the same way at first impression.
Her hot breath against his ear drew a low growl from his throat, though it was stifled by her lips finding his again. Jasper kissed her deeply, trying his hardest to take care not to hold her too tightly or kiss her too intensely. The combination of his own desires mixed with hers always hit him hard, nearly overwhelming him. She'd exposed more skin to him by taking off two of the garments covering her shoulders and arms. He could not help but kiss down the side of her neck to her left shoulder, then back up along her collar bone.
"Belle.." he murmured, holding her against him in his lap.
He kissed back up to her lips again and stayed there for now, not wanting to get too far ahead of himself already. One hand stayed at the center of her back, supporting her there, while the other slid up into her hair, lightly stroking her long, dark locks.
Her heartbeat and blood flow had begun to accelerate. Her breathing had become a bit more rapid and shallow, and Jasper was very aware of all these things. He could hear them, feel them, smell them. It was maddening to his thirst but he'd learned to control it. Not completely, of course. He knew he was still putting Bella at risk by engaging in this sort of behavior, but he loved her too much to deny them both such an intimate exchange. He needed this and he knew that she did, too. Jasper had taken all these overwhelming sensations and channeled them with his emotional control to shift the lust he had for her blood into a love for everything about her. Instead of wanting to feast on it, he cherished it. He cherished her scent, her heart, her blood, her body.. everything.
Bella didn't want to move too fast either and could appreciate it when he slowed things down a bit. She just honestly couldn't help herself. It was true that upon first glance, she didn't seem like the type to have trouble keeping her hands to herself. Bella was much more reserved in the presence of most others and preferred it when she kept things to herself. It wasn't as if she had many relationships in the past. Edward had been her first and because he feared so much for her safety, the two of them were never in danger of exposing any sort of passionate or physical side. Bella preferred it that way - at least, she preferred not to be so public and let many people in on the secret that she could be a very physical person.
Truth be told, it was something of a surprise to her as well. She wouldn't have predicted in the past that she would be the type of person to struggle so much at times with not pushing her lover too far. In fact, Bella would have even laughed out loud if she used the term 'lover'. But that's what Jasper had become and it didn't seem like such a laughing matter anymore. He'd started off being someone that she could relate to in a time of such deep tragedy. The two of them went from hardly ever speaking much to depending on one another. He was her friend - her best friend in time - and her protector. It may have been so unexpected from the beginning that they would wind up like this, but the progression had been nothing less than beautiful, even though it was sprinkled with times of hardship and strain. It had been a long way from hardly being acquaintances to being a pair that wanted to spend an eternity with each other.
She would never get used to the way her name sounded on his lips, especially the special name he called her. No one else had ever called her 'Belle' and with Jasper, it seemed like it was fitting. It made her feel as if she belonged with him back in the 1800's in a full skirt in the south. Either way, the name on his lips alone had the ability to send a shiver up her spine. That shiver had nothing to do with being cold as a result of being so close to him after she'd taken off his jacket and her sweater, but to ensure that he didn't think that way, she relaxed her fingers from his shirt and slid her arms around his neck so they could reposition themselves in his hair. She knew how much he liked it when she toyed with the curly blonde locks and she was always happy to please him by doing so, especially since that was one of her favorite parts about him. One of the very many. As she gently twisted his hair through her fingers, she tried to calm herself down.
The fact that they had all night together helped. Bella assumed that she was given permission to stay out for the whole of the night since Jasper hadn't rushed her home to Charlie. As much as she knew that he wanted to spend with her as she wanted to spend with him, the brunette was fairly certain that Jasper never would have done anything to go against her father's wishes. Not after she'd been grounded for so long and was just granted freedom. Jasper was far too respectful, yet another thing she loved about him so much. But even though they had all night together, it was clear that Bella was still having trouble with her impatience. Patience, also, was never a virtue that Bella was good with keeping.
She continued to kiss him but when she could feel herself slipping into dangerous territory by wanting to taste his lips with her tongue, she forced herself to pull her mouth away. The last thing she wanted right now was to make a wrong move that would cross a dangerous boundary and thankfully, she had only really made that mistake once when the two of them had been at their carousel. For safety's sake, she moved her lips to his neck, kissing along the expanse of smooth, marble-like skin that was exposed there.
She too, was aware of the fact that her heartbeat and her breathing had both significantly increased, but she couldn't help either one. Even though his skin was cold to her touch, her own felt like it was on fire. Such was making it extremely difficult for her to sit still and in his lap, that had the potential to go against every ounce of composure she was trying to keep. She didn't feel quite so composed as her hips pushed into his and she exhaled sharply against the spot where his pulse point would have been.
Jasper never wanted to let her go. If he could have, he would've held her against him forever. Nevermind the fact that he wanted her in other, physical ways. If he had the option, he would have been perfectly happy to just sit with her and hold her in his arms. It was something he knew if she were immortal like him, they could sit this way for hours and hours, staring at each other. It was something Jasper would have been able to engage in without tiring or growing bored. The time would pass without him even realizing it, as he'd be so lost in her beauty and how much he loved her.
Sometimes it still surprised him that they'd reached such a deep level of intimacy and shared such a strong, unwavering bond. He hadn't intended to fall in love with Bella Swan; it was the last thing he ever envisioned himself doing. His love for her had developed during a time when he never thought he would be capable of loving again, nor did he even think he wanted to love again. Nevertheless, the feelings had developed and blossomed into a beautiful love that he cherished with all of his heart. Bella had managed to find her way into his heart and create her own presence there, which he would keep forever.
Jasper knew she was holding back, trying not to let herself get to carried away. He knew, because he could feel it from her. It bothered him a little that she had to hold back her passion and guard her actions. This was something he insisted on her doing, though, because if she didn't then he was liable to lose control. If she got carried away, he wouldn't be able to help himself, and she would most likely end up injured or worse. Even when he was being careful, he still risked hurting her. That had been evident when Bella ended up bruised all over after they made love for the first time. It was so difficult for him to stay under control and not just ravish her with everything he had. But Jasper knew that for her sake, he had to keep a harness on his actions.
As her hips crushed against his, Jasper sucked in a sharp breath and buried his lips into her shoulder. He pressed up against her as she lowered against him and could not keep a soft moan from escaping his lips. The hand that was in the center of her back slowly started to pull at the zipper on the back of her dress. He wanted it off of her so he could see more of her skin and have access to it with his lips. He kissed a long trail up the length of her shoulder and neck, then down her jaw until he came in contact with her lips. The zipper started to slowly come down until he reached the bottom. He slid his hand into her dress, lightly stroking her side and grazing his fingertips across her skin.
If he was trying to keep her from moving too fast, or at least, if he was trying to help her from doing just that, Jasper would need to stop… well, everything he was doing at the moment. He wouldn't be able to trail kisses against the bare skin of her neck and her shoulder. He wouldn't be able to let one of those sounds escape his lips to signify that he was enjoying himself. And he most certainly, certainly wouldn't be able to move his hips upwards against her in the manner that he did once she pressed her own down onto his. But the fact of the matter was, was that he was doing all of those things and the way he was reacting to her was causing Bella to have a lot of trouble settling herself down.
It was frustrating to her too, to have to hold back, but Bella still felt guilty that Jasper would have to know that by means of his special ability. She didn't necessarily want him to realize such a thing, especially when it was something that could be so easily misconstrued. Because while Bella was frustrated, she was also extremely happy with his acceptance and his leniency. It still amazed by the fact that he allowed her to be so physical with him, that he allowed for the both of them to be so physical with one another. Even after they underwent so many obstacles, the biggest one involving intimacy being when Jasper noted the bruising on her body after the first time they made love to one another. He had been so hard on himself and yet, he understood how much it meant to Bella. As soon as she'd assured him, he allowed for the both of them to engage in the most intimate of acts once again and just like it had been the first time, it was perfect in every way. Maybe it was for that reason that being denied the chance to get so physical close was so difficult –- because it had been so wonderful the first time.
It wasn't something that was common for a vampire and a human. Obviously. She could imagine that if Jasper would have sought the opinions of his brother or his father that they would both have opposed the idea of him attempting to have sex with a human, especially one that he tried to attack the year before. But it didn't matter what anyone else's opinions were. They had managed just fine and Bella was still breathing and alive and well. Her heartbeat was the proof of that, especially with the way it was accelerated in her chest. And the bruises that had been an aftereffect of their first time at the cabin were long gone which made it a lot easier for more of Bella's skin to be exposed.
That was what seemed to be the story when Jasper's hand moved down the zipper on the elegant dress that Esme had given her for her birthday. Bella almost smiled when she wondered whether or not the matriarch in the Cullen family had any idea that the brunette wouldn't be taking it off herself later on. It was probably better that she wasn't the one doing it, truth be told. It was such a beautiful garment, that it was safer for Jasper's graceful fingers to do the job and fore go the risk of her clumsy hands ruining the zipper somehow.
However, those clumsy fingers of hers didn't seem to be having any trouble pulling his shirt from the waistband of his trousers so she could unbutton the bottom two or three buttons in order to slide her hands beneath and explore his skin. It was cold beneath the touch, of course not having been warmed at all by the fact that his clothes covered him. But again, it was something she took comfort in, familiar by now. Bella didn't take his shirt off completely yet, but as she moved her hands higher up his torso to move along his skin, the fabric lifted with them.
Jasper gasped lightly as he felt her warm fingers exploring his skin under his shirt. He shivered as her fingertips ghosted over the scars on his sides. The scars didn't physically hurt him anymore, but had left his skin very sensitive to touch. Especially to Bella's warmth. He was doing the same to her, by touching her beneath her dress from the back. He wanted it off of her, though. Or at least pulled away so he could touch her without being confined by the dress.
He didn't want to rip it, as Esme had taken great care to find this dress for her and would probably be very sad if she found out it could never be worn again. Instead of tearing it, he moved his hands up her slender arms and shoulders, and peeled the top of the dress down to expose the upper half of her body. Now that he had more of her to see and touch, he let himself touch and kiss her more liberally. Jasper's hands slid up and down the curves of her torso, squeezing her hips gently. His lips trailed along her shoulder again, and it was all he could do not to nibble on her skin or run his tongue along the side of Bella's neck. He wanted to, so badly, but managed to keep his control in check, difficult as it was.
"I need you," he whispered, wrapping one arm around her waist while the other slid up into her hair to rest at the back of her head.
He raised his head up and looked her in the eye. Everything else he wanted to say would be evident in his gaze. Jasper needed her, physically, emotionally, and every other way possible. The love in his eyes was tinted with a hint of lust and desire, a need only she could fulfill. Bella was everything to him, and she meant everything to him. He needed to show her that, to physically show her his love and how much he wanted to be close to her.
Jasper lifted her slightly and in one fluid motion, he laid her on her back on the bed. He crawled over her, between her knees, and leaned down to kiss her lips slowly, but deeply. His hands slid down her body again and he gently started to push her dress down the rest of the way. He kissed down the side of her neck, all the while moving his hands back up her body. One slid beneath her, creating an arch in her spine, while the other slid up to unclasp her bra and remove it. He lowered her back down and kissed further down to her right breast. His lips closed over the peak and he teased her there with his mouth, while the hand that had unclasped her bra slid up to her other breast and squeezed was so careful not to put too much pressure on her delicate skin, not wanting to recreate the bruises that had just healed in recent weeks.
Every time his lips moved across her skin or his hands traced her flesh, Bella's resolved weakened a little bit more. But when he pulled back to look her in the eye after pushing down the top of her dress, it didn't seem to matter how fast or slow they were moving anymore. They both had the same mindset at the moment.
It was amazing how many different ways there were to hold a conversation. There was the traditional way of speaking of course. Jasper had spoken the given fact that he needed her. The words and the velvet way they left his lips were enough to flood her with desire alone. But when thrown together with the other forms of communication – the one that his eyes gave her in the way they appeared in a darker gold that Bella had only ever witnessed when they were physically intimate with one another, and of course, the physical language that passed between them - it was impossible for her to resist his. Volumes were spoken in that sense when he moved them both back onto the bed, an action that was so gracefully done that for a moment, Bella paused to take in the fluidity of it, even though she should have been used to the way Jasper moved so effortlessly by this point.
Her amazement at his movements was lost when his lips found hers again and he kissed her in a way that made her dizzy. It was none too soon when he pulled his mouth away to replace it against her neck because Bella was running short on breath. That was not exactly helped when the rest of her dress and her bra were lost due to his handiwork. Her fingers, in the meantime, had been finishing off the task they set off upon earlier of unbuttoning the black shirt that kept him far too confined for Bella's liking. When it was pushed over his shoulders and down his arms, her hands moved to caress every inch of bare skin they could reach, moving up his sides and sliding around his back.
"Jasper."
She gasped his name and sucked in a sharp breath when his lips enclosed over her breast. The contrast in temperature between his body and the room was incredible. The air was so warm whereas the chill in his skin wherever he touched her caused goosebumps to raise on her skin. Her immediately instinct, however, was not to pull away, but rather, to pull him closer. Her back arched against his touches and her torso met with his now equally as bare one.
The sensations she was feeling were so incredible that Bella could start to see why it was probably impossible for a vampire and a human to make love to one another. It wasn't so much a risk that he could kill her because of his strength or even because of his blood lust, but because the poor girl didn't know how she could manage to house all the pleasure she was feeling as a result of his ministrations. If he too were human, Bella didn't think she would feel the same level of intensity she felt even from the smallest touches. She knew he was holding back to a degree for her safety, and thus, it proved the point that hardly any effort had to even be administered in order for her to be filled with such lust and desire for him.
She, on the other hand, couldn't help but to be a little more forceful with her actions. Bella didn't realize she was doing it at first, but her nails were digging into the muscles of his lower back, trying to pull him closer while at the same time, trying to find some sort of outlet for the amounts of pleasure she felt as his lips teased the peak of her breast and his hand continued to mimic the actions of his mouth. When she did take note of it, she felt somewhat guilty despite knowing that there was no way she could have caused Jasper any damage.
And so, she brushed her lips against his head apologetically and moved her hands up his spine. When they traced back downward, they dipped beneath the waistband of his trousers in search of more of his skin. There was enough room for her fingers to maneuver under the layers of clothing covering his lower half so they could press against the muscles of his rear end, pulling him closer to her in the process and causing a groan to be emitted as a result.
Jasper shrugged out of his shirt, though he felt a bit insecure as he did so. He knew Bella couldn't see his scars, but he could see them ravaging his arms as he held her. There were so many instances where he felt he wasn't being fair to her; she knew about his scars but she said she wasn't repulsed by them. That was very considerate of her, but it was very easy to say that when she couldn't see them constantly. He also knew Bella was one to suffer in silence, just like him. It was the same as when she said she wasn't cold while he held her, despite her body shivering and lined with goosebumps. She deserved what she saw in the camouflage and more. He didn't want to think about it right now, but it was difficult not to when he was brought face to face with this disfigurement everyday.
He pushed his unhappiness out of his mind and focused on her. If he could please her, then that was enough for him. Jasper paid close attention to what he was doing, kissing on her breast and massaging the other. He could feel her desires increasing and her hormones racing from his actions, which drove him to want to please her more. Her hands were roaming his back and dipping lower, growing more bold as her passion and needs increased. When they slid beneath his trousers and she pulled him closer, his eyes opened and he grinned, nuzzling her hair and kissing her temple. He knew Bella was getting completely flustered and beside herself with pleasure. He could understand; it was getting to him, too.
Jasper lifted his head and found her lips again, kissing her deeply. He blindly removed the rest of her clothing and brought her hands around to his front, leaving them on the fastening of his trousers, helping her to undo them as quickly as possible. He wanted her. He needed her. Being as emotionally driven as he was, there was no stronger connection that could convey how much he loved her than when they were joined, making love to each other. It was the physical embodiment, the emotional transference, the epitome of being one with her. He wanted her to feel everything that he felt, to fill her with the love he held in his heart. She was his world, and he wanted her to know that.
He managed to pull the comforter down from beneath her and over them both to keep her warm and to help warm his own body up a little from the electric heat. He didn't want any of her pleasure to be taken away because of the icy chill of his body. This had worked before at the cabin, so he figured it would help now. While Bella never once complained of the difference in temperature, he wanted more than anything to be warm for her, soft for her, instead of this marble statue. He knew it was impossible to achieve that state of being, but he could do his best to mimic it.
Jasper slid out of his clothes and pressed his body against hers. He started to kiss her again, slowly for a long time. When he finally lifted his head, his eyes opened and he gaze down at her. His golden eyes took in the sight of her face and met her gaze.
"I'm so happy you were born," he said, which on any other day might have been an odd thing to say. But given it was her birthday, he found it appropriate. "So happy that I can be with you," he murmured, and kissed her again. "It means so much to me, that you love me as I love you."
It was not often that Jasper spoke so much, but he loved her so deeply, and while it was conveyed emotionally quite often, he did not typically speak like this. He kissed her again, sliding his hands beneath her back and holding her against him.
Bella was undergoing some sort of strange revelation. It was something she acknowledged before, for certain, something that she knew was the truth, but in this moment the fact of the matter struck her like a chord on a church organ; she was happy.
Truly, blissfully, unapologetically happy.
Of course this was not the first time that she had been happy, especially not with Jasper. There were plenty of times when that had occurred in the past. But always, it seemed, with all of the odds stacked against them in such a marvelous cacophony that guilt should be quick to follow such aforementioned bliss. But today, that was far from the case. Rather, Bella let go of everything. She let go of the plaguing threats that loomed in their future and the demons from their pasts. Instead, she lived in this moment. Her inhibition within such a safe, peaceful haven was the direct consequence of the breathtaking being intertwined with her in this treasured reality.
Jasper broke all the rules with her, it seemed. There were sides of Bella that he could touch that she either deemed unavailable or that she didn't even know existed. The prime example was her lack of enthusiasm when it came to celebrating her birthday. There was no particular reason why it was a day that she didn't like. She'd always had quite nice birthdays, truth be told. It was just the fact that the idea of being the center of attention, even on a day that was meant to possess such a considerate luxury, made her stomach turn and her insides uneasy.
Something was happening to her insides now, but it had nothing to do with nausea or an upset stomach and everything to do with her heart. The way that he spoke was with such a genuine validity that she wanted to be the center of attention. She wanted to be appreciated in such a touching manner. But she only wanted it to come from him. To Bella, one person was far good enough. Jasper was that person. He had the ability to melt her with words despite freezing her with his body. Her heart felt much more akin to fire than it did ice.
Even something about his kisses seemed like it was an awakening. They were passionate, but slow and drawn-out. She decided then and there that they were her favorite kind. While hard to pick a favorite out of the many similar gestures that Jasper bestowed upon her, this was the one that made her feel as if she were spoiled.
"You have no idea how much," she said when she pulled away from his lips long enough to open her eyes to meet his gaze again.
But he did. He knew exactly how much she loved him. Even though she wasn't always the best with words – Bella had a tendency to stumble over those and be just as much as a klutz as she was physically – they weren't always needed for her to express how much she loved him. That was such a wonderful feeling. But at the same time, there were instances, just like Jasper, where she liked to tell him, speak the words from her own lips.
"You've made this the best birthday I've ever had," she said with absolute truth behind her words.
And it was. It was so far from the one that had occurred the year prior. Bella was sure that everyone would have laughed even at the prospect of things turning out in the manner of which they did. In a way though, something was similar. Jasper was still lusting for her. It just seemed like it had much more to do with her body and much less to do with her blood. The feelings and the desires were entirely mutual on Bella's behalf, despite the fact that she was still wholly human. The fact that they were different species was irrelevant when it came to assessing how fulfilling it was to be laying with him, naked against his skin, however different it felt against hers.
It didn't actually feel quite so cold as it normally did, however. She half-smiled at the thoughtfulness of the heated duvet that encased the both of them, warming her skin as well as his from the direct contact. She was grateful from the closeness when his fingers pressed against her back and allowed her to be closer to him. Both of her arms wrapped around his neck to accommodate the intimate proximity and her thighs nestled his hips comfortably. For a few moments, she just embraced him, nuzzling his neck and breathing in his enticing scent.
"Thank you," she breathed against his ear, kissing the shell of it affectionately.
Jasper was elated to hear that she was enjoying herself so much. It made him feel incredibly good to know that she was so happy. He always, always wanted to ensure her happiness, but today it was imperative that she be as happy as possible. This was her day, and Jasper wanted her to feel as special as he knew she was. He wanted to give her all of himself, his heart, his soul, his body. He'd devoted himself to her already, and he was certain she had to have known that by now. Even so, he would not hesitate to pledge that devotion as often as possible.
He felt her thighs against his hips and her arms around his neck. This drew him to hold her closer, to press his body to hers. He managed to do so without putting too much of his weight on her, keeping most of it on his knees. There was a gentle smile on his face as she nuzzled his neck and he felt her breath against his skin. He wanted more. He wanted her. Her whispered thank you did not go unnoticed, and he sighed softly as her lips brushed against his ear. He could feel her gratitude, mixed with all the desire and need. It was a wonderful feeling, and he wanted it heightened as much as possible.
Jasper repositioned his hands, sliding them from beneath her to rest on her sides. He was being very careful to tread lightly so as not to mark her with anymore bruises. He couldn't stand the thought of being the cause of her bruises again. But though he was being very careful, he was still intense with the way he touched her, the way he looked at her. He nudged her chin lightly with his nose, only to kiss her lips again as soon as he could reach. One hand left her side and slipped between their bodies. He started to stroke gently between her legs. Though he wanted to make love to her now, to join their bodies and give in to the desires that were begging to take control, he wanted this to be all about her.
The focus was on Bella, of course, but Jasper could feel so much of the pleasure, the desire, himself. He started kissing along her jawline, all the while moving his thumb in a circular motion. His index and middle fingers gently slipped inside of her and started to move in their own sort of rhythm. Jasper moaned softly at the feel, and busied his lips with kissing along the hollow of her neck.
There seemed like there would be a conflict, even despite the perfection of the situation. However, even though a conflict was present, it certainly didn't mean it was anything of a negative sort. Bella was currently torn between two halves. On one side, she wanted to take her time. She wanted the two of them to go slowly and just enjoy every second of their intimate situation. For a day she normally wanted to be over rather quickly, she suddenly wished for the hours to drag on and on so she could spend the whole of the night appreciating Jasper and thanking him physically for everything he'd done for her on this special day. She wanted to stretch out the minutes and the act of their lovemaking and the events that preceded it so it would last throughout the whole night and never seem to end. Once it was over, it would be all too quickly in Bella's eyes.
But then there was the other side. It was the polar opposite of that which existed to desire a long, slow night of making love to one another. Instead, this half of her was driven more by lust. Both, make no mistake, were also driven by love, but this latter side was far more in tune with her hormones, working hand in hand with one another to create a completely different desire. On this hand, Bella didn't want to waste time. She wanted all of him all at once and it didn't feel like it would be possible for her to obtain that goal fast enough. She wished to touch and kiss every last inch of his skin and run her fingers over all of his dips and lines and subtle angles.
The way that he moved his fingers made her drawn closer to the idea of fulfilling the second half of her desires. Bella honestly didn't know if it was just because Jasper had so much experience over the past century or if it was just because he had already become so in tune with her body that he had the ability to touch her in all the right places, in all the right ways. When he moved his fingers in a pleasurable combination, there was no means of controlling the way her body naturally reacted. Her lips parted and her eyes closed as her muscles tensed slightly. The way he danced his lips across her neck and jawline made her shiver with delight and her head lulled to the side for a moment to rest, just enjoying the feel of everything he was doing to her.
The arms that were around his neck tightened momentarily in order to keep him close, but they soon both went in different directions. One of her hands moved down the side of his body while her other set of fingers lifted his chin in order for her to press her lips into his, the perfect cocktail of warm softness and chilled marble. The kiss was slow but there was a building amount of lust that was behind it, a hidden sort of bite almost.
It took a bit of a bite for certain when Bella's hand that had been on his side moved to press against the one Jasper had between her thighs. Immediately she moaned as a result of the self-assisted pressure. Keeping her hand against his, she moved her hips in accordance. It was a bold of her and perhaps not something that Bella normally would have done. But she wanted to make sure that he knew how much she liked what he was doing. And she did.
A lot.
At the same time, she was able to pull his hand away when she knew that she wouldn't be able to take much more of it. It went back to her struggle about moving slow and wanting everything all at once. When her breathing really started to become erratic and her back started arching into him, her fingers curled around his to pull them back. Her hips pressed against his then to let him know that she was more than ready – a fact he already knew full well and that his hand could attest to.
"I want you," she whispered almost desperately as her hands moved to his sides and she shifted to hook one of her legs around his hips.
There were times when Jasper wondered if he'd done the right thing by engaging in such intimate behavior with each other during their time away from Forks. Bella was still young, and there was also the matter of them being a different species from one another. That did not mean there was any pleasure lost between them - not even the slightest. It was just a constant danger; he was more of a threat to her than she would probably ever acknowledge, even more than he usually was in their day to day interaction. He'd already bruised her body before, and he was still ashamed of himself for that no matter how many times she told him he did not need to be. Jasper just thought she deserved someone much better than him. Someone who didn't need an electric blanket to keep her warm, someone who didn't feel like stone, someone who wasn't mangled with scars. Bella deserved so, so much better.
Just as these thoughts were filling his head, she spoke.
I want you.
Those words pierced through his self-deprecating thoughts and he opened his eyes to gaze down at her. Why? Why did she want him so badly? Jasper could not for the life of him understand why someone like her would want someone like him at all. Yet, he could feel it from her. She genuinely wanted to be with him, she genuinely wanted to be one with him now. It baffled him, but it was undeniably true.
He did not fear he'd hurt her when she pulled his hand away. Jasper would have felt her discomfort or fear if he'd caused it. Her actions also spoke volumes, in the way she pressed her hips up against his and her hands slid over his sides, unknowingly brushing against the scars that left his skin so sensitive to touch. Her leg hooking around his hips was another indication that she was wanting more. Jasper did not feel worthy enough to give her that, but he would die before he denied her of something so precious.
He anchored himself by pressing his palms into the bed on either side of her after positioning himself properly. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, then slowly pushed into her. He gasped softly and pulled back from the kiss, gazing down at her as he pressed into her. The rush of emotions mixed with the physical sensations that came long with becoming one with her were all so intense. Jasper clutched at the bedding beneath them and slowly pulled back, then pressed into her again slowly.
"I love you so much," he whispered, just barely forming the words. He moved his hips slowly at first, creating a rhythm for them to move to. Even though he felt that she deserved better, if he was who she wanted then he would do everything he could to be what she needed for him to be.
It was the cursed side of Jasper's ability that caused Bella to have an indication as to why the atmosphere suddenly seemed different for a moment. She could feel every bit of his desire and his wanting, but there was a twinge of something else. He was down on himself. Something caused for her to bear witness to the change in the emotions that coursed through him at the moment and it wasn't difficult for Bella to understand why. Being this close to one another was a dangerous thing. As much as there were times when she sometimes wished she could be otherwise, Bella was a very sensible person. She knew that it was not the smartest thing to be engaging in such intimate acts with a vampire, even though the two of them proved that it was something that could be done without resulting in her death.
Even still, it didn't mean the doubts were erased. It was particularly hard on this day considering a year before was the same event that marked a very, very different outcome and the beginning of a downward spiral. That spiral, however 'downward' it was, was still what brought the two of them together. For that, Bella held her confidence. It didn't matter what events necessarily led up to this moment and long as this moment still existed. And it very much did.
She reached up and gently smoothed her fingers against his cheek to try and reassure him as best she could without having to speak. The words they'd exchanged shortly before his shift in emotions had done the part of verbal conversation. She didn't need it to convey how she felt now. She didn't need it in order to tell him that she trusted him, that he not only had her heart, but that he'd written his name across it with an unerasable marker.
It seemed, either because of her assistance or because of his own accord, that he again shifted the emotions coming from him back to the original ones of lust and love that she felt so strongly intermingled. If Jasper truly was still concerned about the situation, Bella was quite sure he would not have positioned himself at her entrance and a moment later, with an affectionate gaze and a promise that he loved her, moved inside of her and fulfilling her in an unexplainable way.
Jasper always told her he loved her when they were making love to one another. Without fail, even when they were doing lesser acts physically (however, no less in the desirable outcomes they had), he always expressed that he loved her by manner of his words in addition to the physical element that was obvious. There was never time for the brunette to doubt the way he felt about her or even to dwell in any insecurities or nerves that may have surfaced. Everything negative was erased entirely when he spoke those words.
"I love you too," she promised against his lips.
Her hips found his rhythm easily. Their bodies were so in synch with one another, even though this particular act was something that had only been fulfilled twice before. For the way they matched one another's actions, it wouldn't be that far-fetched to assume they'd been lovers for years. The hand that had been on his face drifted back so her fingers could lose themselves in his curly blonde locks. Her other moved along the expanse of his spine, trailing from the dip between his shoulder blades down to the small of his back. They moved together effortlessly, like it was natural and didn't require any prior thought. But at the very same time, it felt unspeakably good in Bella's opinion. She liked that she could contrast the touch of his cool, firm skin with the soft curls that covered his head. Twisting her fingers into the latter, she pulled his mouth down for another kiss. It was always more difficult when they were in constant movement with their lower halves, but Bella was desperate to feel his mouth of hers. The quicker their hips rocked, the more needy her kisses became.
Jasper would always want her, in every sense of the word. He did not have the hormones that she humanly possessed, but he did hold within him an extraordinary amount of passion. He could feel the desire, and the need, the yearning for each other. There would never be a time when he did not feel passionate about being with her. It was in his nature to desire her always, as vampires did their mates. That was, perhaps, to make up for their lack of hormones.
Bella need not fear that his eyes would stray. There was no other for him. She had his heart, and he wasn't looking for anyone else to take it, nor would he ever ask for it back. It felt right that she should have it. She was, after all, the one who mended it into a functioning house for his emotions once more. He wanted her to always feel loved, to show how much she'd helped in restoring his capacity to love again. Jasper would always do his best to show her how much she meant to him, how much he cherished her, how much he undeniably adored her. He knew she could effortlessly feel it coming from him, because of his ability. But because that came so easily for him, he wanted to express it in other ways, which included him expressing his love verbally to her in every instance that he could. Especially when they were making love.
Being with her so intimately was something that felt unbelievably natural to him. Even though this should have seemed other worldly, given the difference in species, it felt familiar - albeit, the pleasure derived from it was other worldly. Perhaps it was because of how close they were, or perhaps they were just truly made for each other. Whatever the reason, Jasper indulged in how good it felt to be with her like this again. They'd only been able to engage in it a couple of times prior, but he hoped that now with this new haven to retreat to, they'd be able to give themselves to each other much more often.
As she twisted her fingers in his hair, his own fingers twisted into the sheets beneath her. Jasper couldn't describe the feeling he got from being inside her, only to say that he was being enveloped in her warmth again and again each time he pressed into her and it was heavenly. He rolled his hips as he pushed inside of her, trying to reach all those ultra sensitive nerves within her. He kissed her passionately, and as he rocked his hips in time with hers, he let his power extend a bit into the pleasure she was feeling. Of course, he did not manipulate her feelings, he just... heightened them a bit so she could feel them at their most raw intensity.
Because it all felt natural between them, Bella was getting far more in tune, not only with Jasper's body, but her own as well, in ways that she never experienced before. Of course she was no stranger to the way that her hormones raged through her almost on a daily basis, heightened whenever she was in Jasper's presence and especially when the two of them were alone. There had been many of those instances, especially in the recent weeks when they were unable to fulfill what they truly desired in terms of wanting to be so intimate with one another.
The more he touched her, the more they engaged in experiences like these, the more she came to understand when she was getting closer to the climax of her pleasure. It, of course, was not an instantaneous thing, but rather it was gradual. With how expertly he seduced her, however, it didn't take long in most cases. At least she had come to recognize the signs when she was getting closer throughout that process. It always began with a dull throbbing between her legs and spread through her entire body, feeling like electricity by the time she peaked. Usually the delicious tingling occurred even before Jasper fully entered her. Tonight had been no different; as soon as he started toying with her via his fingers, that feeling made its presence known.
However, something was very peculiar about this particular instance. As expected, when he started moving his hips and pushing himself in and out of her, the throbbing became much more consistent. But all of a sudden, it was the electricity that she was feeling even though she was sure she wasn't about to finish. Because he'd been kissing her at the time, he could feel just as much as hear her astonishment when her pleasure took an abrupt shot upwards. Her lips parted and she gasped with a sharp hiss. A pleasurable one at that. It was certainly unlike anything she had ever felt before, but she didn't understand why such a thing changed all of a sudden. Not that she was complaining, of course. On the contrary, the way she reacted made it clear that she was very much enjoying the unexpected change.
Her fingers tightened around the curls they'd been threading through when she received the sudden jolt of pleasure and she accidentally tugged a bit harder than she would have perhaps done so if she were consciously thinking about it. Her hips initiated a faster pace between the two of them, or at least, made a serious attempt to persuade him into picking one up. Each time after that, whenever he pushed inside of her with a roll of his hips, Bella's insides felt as if they were torched. It was the most delicious feeling that she didn't want to end. It seemed like whenever he entered her, he found the spot inside that caused her toes to curl and her back to arch. It was something that she wanted to prolong for hours and hours. Bella would have even settled for a few more blessed minutes of such an intensity, however greedy such a thing might have been.
Such an enticing luxury would not be in her future sadly. There was only so much more Bella could take before amidst the burning inside of her, she felt her muscles clench and her hold on him tighten. The fire in her core spread instantly throughout her body, reaching to the ends of her fingers and the tips of her toes. Both sets of her fingers dug into the muscles in his back as she rocked her hips desperately against his.
"God, Jasper…" she choked out in a moan, squeezing her eyes tightly shut and unable to bite her lip to keep from moaning again.
She did so, rather loudly for Bella's standards, but it was all part of the intensity of the orgasm she'd just had to put all of the previous ones he'd given her to shame. And that was saying something considering they had all been mind-blowing. She didn't immediately relax when it was over, but instead, she continued to move her hips with his, determined to draw out every last pleasurable second.
It did not bother him at all when she clutched him tighter, tugging and twisting her fingers into his hair. Even if it had hurt him, it would've been worth it for the chance to see that beautiful look upon Bella's face as she was pushed over the brink of ecstasy. Jasper knew he'd given her more than what she was used to feeling, heightening her pleasure with his power, which he'd never done before. He hoped she wouldn't mind it too much, and given her reaction it seemed it had a positive effect on her.
He held her as she trembled and moved against him to ride out the waves of her climax, shifting his own pleasure aside to allow her to fully experience hers to the fullest. He ran his hands all over her body, caressing her sensitive skin. Only when she'd started moving at her own accord again, rocking her hips against his, did he let go of her and anchor his hands against the bed again. His fingers curled in the material of the sheets, and he resumed his journey to reach the peak of his own pleasure. It did not take long, at all. Jasper could still feel the effects of her climax, and allowed himself to fully be engulfed by his own pleasure. His hips started to move a bit more erratically, and before he knew it, his orgasm struck him hard and fast, drawing gasps and low moans from him.
The sheets were torn, ripped apart in his grip as he'd clutched them so tightly. Jasper hated that he couldn't trust himself enough to hold her the entire time he made love to her, but he was just too afraid he'd harm her. The fact that he would almost always rip apart the sheets was further affirming in his caution to keep his hands at bay. However, that did not mean he couldn't hold her in the aftermath. Once his climax had completely subsided, he slowly pulled out of her and moved to lay next to her, but quickly slid his arms around her. He held her close and kissed her lips. He loved her so, so much.
One of his hands started to gently stroke down the center of her back, then back up. "Happy Birthday," he said softly, smiling at her and kissing her forehead. "Are you all right?" He always feared he would hurt her, no matter how careful he was. "Did I hurt you?"
She seemed content, but he knew she wouldn't make it easy for him to figure out if he'd caused her pain or not.
The amount of pleasure she felt when she reached the peak of perfection concerning their lovemaking was not something that could have been rivaled. But watching Jasper when he reached that same point was almost better. She wished it could have been drawn out for longer. She wanted to watch the expression change on his flawless visage and listen to the way his sounds drowned her ears. It didn't matter to her if the sheets were ripped and ruined; she hadn't even realized they were in danger when she was so fixated both on the way he felt inside of her and the way he gasped and groaned.
She too, made a sound when he finished and pulled out of her. It was one of slight regret, however, at the fact that he was no longer nestled within her. But regret couldn't really manifest itself entirely when he pulled her close to him. She shifted to lay on her stomach, nestled close into his side comfortably. It wasn't cold as perhaps it would have been if they were just getting ready for her to sleep beside him. Instead, the combination of the electric blanket and the natural flush her body adopted as an aftershock of their intimacy combated the chill of his skin quite nicely and actually, being close to the cold was more of a comfort to her than not.
His fingers were soothing as they stroked her back and Bella couldn't help but to close her eyes just for a moment to indulge in the relaxation. The corners of her mouth turned up when he wished her a happy birthday. What a happy birthday it was indeed. How wonderful it had all been was enough to almost make her forget about the fact that she was a year older, something that had scared her so badly when she awoke in the morning. It didn't matter how old she was in years. In her heart, she would never age. It would forever be locked in the youth and spirit it had now. Maybe there would be time to start worrying about it all later, but for now, she was content in being nineteen. She would be even more content to remain that way - just as long as it was with Jasper.
When he asked if he had hurt her, her eyes opened to meet his. "Not at all," she assured him honestly.
She felt anything but hurt. Content, happy, loved, yes. But not hurt. She shifted a bit closer to him in order to touch her nose to his affectionately, letting her eyes close again.
"I feel..." she paused for a moment, trying to think of a word that could adequately describe how perfect she felt. Except for perhaps that one. "...perfect,' she finished with a whisper.
Her lips brushed against his softly, lingering there with a lazy kiss. It was far from rushed and hinted at both the fact that she was so fulfilled and satisfied with everything at the moment, as well as the fact that unfortunately, she was exhausted from it all as well. Another curse of being mortal. But Bella would take being mortal if it meant she could be a mortal in love.
And she was. Impossibly so.
Author's Note: Sweet but sexy chapter. :) Remember that the next chapter is the LAST one in Take Me Back to the Start, but soon enough, we'll start to post the next part of the story called 'Make This Go On Forever' and give you some ideas on what to look forward to in that one! Don't forget that this story WILL continue, but it will continue with that sequel. Happy holidays to all of you and yours! Please don't forget to review! :D Cheers!
Lyrics: Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran